Gilmore Girls S01 E21 – Off-ui.

Previously: Rory kind of runs away.
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Sarah: Hello, new friends! I’m Sarah, long-time Snark Squad reader who mostly blog stalks because I started reading when I had a job that blocked Snark Squad HQ for “adult themes and content” so I got used to reading and not commenting.

I didn’t watch Gilmore Girls when it first came out, but multiple people told me over the years that I talk like a Gilmore girl. Since no one could tell me exactly what that meant, I decided to investigate in 2015. Three complete watches of the original series and one binge of the miniseries later, I’m still not entirely sure what that means except probably I talk really fast, my brain goes a bajillion miles a minute, and I can be witty sometimes? IDK.

ANYWAY. To the recap!

We begin in Lorelai’s bedroom on a presumably lovely morning. BUT THEN… loud banging. Hair in face. Lorelai much confused.

Downstairs, Lorelai throws open the door to Rory’s room and says Rory cannot be sleeping through “the frickin’ Blue Man Group” outside their house. Rory says she was sleeping through it and Lorelai insists it had to have woken her up, to which Rory responds, “No, my insane mother, Margot Kidder Gilmore woke me up” and pulls a pillow over her head.

Outside Lorelai blinks at the light and greets the source of the banging: none other than Luke Danes. Lorelai asks what he’s doing and Luke says he’s fixing the porch rail. Lorelai says yes, he is fixing her porch rail… at 6:30 in the morning! Luke says it’s the only time he could do it and Lorelai asks the question we’re all thinking: WHYYYYY.

Grace: I love Luke forever but he knows better than this. He knows Lorelai better than this.

Sarah: Luke says he noticed it was broken last time he was at the house and it could hurt somebody. Lorelai says they sleep around here and they like it because it keeps them pretty and keeps them from killing their crazy friends. Luke says she’s going to wake the neighbors.

Lorelai yells at him to bang one more thing while he’s there: his head. And also a “for sale” sign, which is two things, because they’re moving. She rambles incoherently before discovering the door is locked. Luke says she shouldn’t have closed the door and Lorelai tells him he doesn’t exist, while banging on the door and calling for Rory.

Babette yells from across the yard that Lorelai’s waking up the entire neighborhood. Rory opens the door and tells Lorelai she is “officially annoyed.” (Girl, I would be, too.) Lorelai says don’t blame her, blame Luke, who has magically disappeared. Lorelai says he was right there, Babette tells Rory to get her back inside, and Rory begins guiding her mother back indoors as Lorelai rambles about how Luke was there and it was something about the porch and it was broken and he was banging and she’s not crazy and Rory just says, “I know” over and over.

WHERE YOU LEAD, I WILL FOLLOW

Independence Inn. Michel stands, looking dejected and ignoring a ringing phone. Lorelai asks him to get it and Michel says he cannot. Lorelai says they all cover the phones and that includes him. Michel says he wants to answer the phone, he truly does, but he cannot because he is suffering from severe ennui and Lorelai knows what that is, yes? Lorelai says, “Webster’s defines ennui as a lazy, soon-to-be out of work French concierge who won’t answer the phone.” (Side note: I know in real life he would totally not have a job, but Michel is legit one of my favorite characters in this entire show and his one liners are some of my favorites.) (G: He really gets to say all the things everyone in customer service wishes they could say. It’s unrealistic but beautiful.)

Michel responds that he’s made his peace with the fact that “everyone who calls here is a notch above brain dead” and the pennies he is thrown each week are in exchange for him dealing with them in a nonviolent manner and usually that’s fine, but today, he has ennui. Lorelai says he needs coffee.

Kitchen. Lorelai needs #allthecoffee and Sookie sits, looking dejected. Lorelai asks what’s wrong and Sookie says she thinks she has ennui. Lorelai can’t believe Michel explained ennui to her because Sookie always thinks she’s coming down with whatever illness other people have. Sookie says “nu uh” and Lorelai reminds her that she had to convince Sookie she didn’t have a prostate last week.

Lorelai’s phone rings and it’s Max Medina. (Swoon.) He had a second and wanted to say hi and thank you for last night. They cute about how it was a good night and the more they see each other, the more they want to see each other. Max says it’s a vicious circle, totally distracting, but completely wonderful. He has to go, Lorelai says don’t. She has to go, Max says don’t. Another example of a vicious circle. Sookie says she looks happy. Lorelai asks what’s the opposite of ennui? Sookie answers, “Off-wee. Hey, I’m cured!” 

Chez Gilmore. Lorelai starts telling Rory about a dream that reminds Rory of a dream of her own and she interrupts. Lorelai says Rory’s doing “the thing” where one person’s dream reminds you of your dream so you interrupt and then the first person is just like, “Hey man, what about my dream?”

Rory apologizes and Lorelai continues but can’t remember the name of a guy in her dream. She goes out back to ask someone — who turns out to be Luke, who is fixing the roof — who the guy was.

Inside, Rory opens the closet and discovers… *gasp* … the Dean box. Lorelai comes back in and sees Rory with the box. She says she knows she was supposed to throw it away but she couldn’t because Rory’s young and her head’s all weird and she doesn’t have perspective “because of the young, weird-headed thing.” Lorelai rambles for a while about how she didn’t want Rory to regret getting rid of the stuff, but she at least put it next to the Max box so they could keep each other company and chat about how they had a Gilmore girl and lost a Gilmore girl and she’s sorry. Rory smiles and says thanks.

Grace: This was a good Mom Move. There are definitely things from certain periods in your life that eventually need to go live in a dumpster, but you don’t always know the valuable memorabilia from the trash when you’re still in the middle of all the emotions.

Sarah: In her room, the la las play and Rory pulls things out of the box— the dress from the night of the dance, a stuffed turkey I don’t remember the significance of, the cornstarch box, and the leather bracelet.

Stars Hollow. Rory and Lane walk down the street as Lane relates a story and Rory stares aimlessly, clearly not listening. Lane asks if Rory’s heard a word she’s said.

Rory says she’s going into Doose’s Market but Lane says she can’t because it’s Thursday afternoon and he works Thursday afternoons. Lane (who hasn’t figured out Dean is the worst) (G: no one seems to figure that out soon enough) freaks out because she thinks Dean and Rory are getting back together. She loves Rory, but she’s been “Mopey, Dopey, and about 12 other melancholy dwarves” for weeks. Rory asks Lane to wish her luck, and Lane just responds with “Luck” and for some reason I find this hilarious.

Rory ambles through the aisles before running into Taylor, who asks what she’s doing and says she’s walking around like a shoplifter.

Grace: Side rant: this is why I don’t like Taylor. He has no loyalty. He won’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt no matter how many times they’ve proven themselves trustworthy. This is Rory for heaven’s sake. (Cornstarch incident aside.)

Sarah: Rory says she’s looking for his checkout boy. Taylor goes to find him and around the corner comes not!Dean. Not!Dean asks what Rory needs. She awkwards until she can high-tail it out of there.

Lane asks how it went. Rory says he wasn’t there. Lane says he always works Thursday afternoons and Rory says he must be taking them off now and that isn’t good because he’s clearly moved on and met one of those Thursday Afternoon Girls who get guys to switch their Thursday afternoon shifts so they can do “slutty Thursday afternoon things.” Lane says Rory’s reading too much into this. (Ya think?) Rory asks if Lane has ever seen Dean with another girl and Lane swears “on the soul of Nico” that she hasn’t — he’s miserable, suicidal, and in desperate need of a haircut.

Chilton. Bell rings. Tristan (ugh) (G: +1 ugh) comes up to Rory at her locker and says she should decorate it with something other than “dead black and white women.” (Nobody asked you, Tristan.) He pulls out tickets to P.J. Harvey and Rory says he has good taste. Tristan asks if Rory’s into P.J. Harvey and says one of the tickets is for her because apparently none of the boys in Rory’s life think to ask her if she wants an extravagant gift before getting it for her. (G: This!!)

Rory says she doesn’t think they should go to a concert together because it would seem like a date. Tristan says it would seem like a date because it would be a date and Rory says she can’t date him. Tristan says he gives her permission. (Ughhhhhh.)

Rory leaves and runs into Paris and her Mean Girls. Madeline asks for Rory’s biology notes from Tuesday because she was out. Rory says sure and walks off as the girls walk over to the lockers where Tristan is still standing. Louise asks what Tristan’s holding. He says P.J. Harvey tickets for him and Rory. Louise asks if Rory’s going out with him and Tristan says she is. (No, she’s not, dude.) (G: Sooooo full of himself.) Madeline and Louise say they didn’t think Rory liked him. Paris slams her locker and storms off.

Miss Patty’s. Pink swans are bourreing to Swan Lake. Lorelai walks past and runs into Rachel who’s looking for Luke. He was supposed to be at the diner, but he’s not and this isn’t the first time. Recently he’s been “other places” and by “other places,” Rachel means Lorelai’s house. Lorelai awkwards that Luke is just fixing things and Rachel says she knows and could Lorelai tell him to check in if she sees him.

They part and Lorelai looks concerned as she walks down the street past a man singing and playing a guitar. He is interrupted by a man in a leather jacket playing guitar and whistling across the street and gives him a perturbed look. (G: This could get ugly.)

Chez Gilmore. Lorelai enters and hears noise. Concerned, she grabs an umbrella from the foyer and cautiously walks into the living room prepared to attack (you guessed it) Luke. Lorelai asks how he got in and Luke says the back door lock. Lorelai says the back door lock was fine. Luke says it was cheap. Lorelai says it came with the house and is a “fine lock.” Luke says burglars look for it because it’s easy to break in and he proved that by breaking in through the back door. Lorelai is incensed and says he’s “crossed over into the dark side.” Luke says he’ll fix it.

Lorelai confronts him about spending all his spare time fixing things at her house instead of with Rachel. Luke says he’s not hiding from Rachel. Lorelai didn’t say that, but Luke says it sounds like she was implying it. Lorelai says he’s sensitive and Luke says he thinks he’s hiding from her. They talk about how it’s weird having her at his place and he’s been living alone forever and is used to things being a certain way. He’s not used to having someone expect him. Lorelai says most people would kill for that. Luke says he’s different because he’s a loner but Lorelai doesn’t want to hear about the romance of being a loner. Luke says it’s not the fantasy he’s been toting around all these years (G: because he has a new Lorelai-shaped fantasy) and Lorelai says life isn’t a fantasy, he should give the situation a fair chance and stop work on the Winchester Mystery House. Luke agrees that she’s right and says thanks.

Stars Hollow. Rory stands awkwardly in front of a house before walking up and knocking on the door. A little girl opens the door and they awkward until she asks if Rory’s there to see her brother. (G: I love how knowingly she says that.) Rory says no, she’s with the Girl Scouts. Little Girl says she’s a Brownie and will be a Girl Scout one day and where’s Rory’s uniform? Rory says they ditched the uniforms so they can blend in and relate to the average person.

Little Girl says Rory looks like the girl in the pictures Dean has in his room and “He had a lot.” Rory keys in on the change from “has” to “had” and sweet talks, learning her name is Clara and calls her a pretty girl. Clara is clearly weirded out and Rory wants to know if it’s “has” or “had.” Clara says she doesn’t know and Rory says she does, because one is past and one is present. Rory asks if Clara can go to Dean’s room. Clara says he doesn’t like that, Rory says she could sneak in, and Clara starts crying. Dean calls for Clara and Rory peels out of there.

Grace: Also, they were dating for how long and Rory didn’t know Dean’s sister’s name?

Sarah: Stars Hollow. Rory, Max, and Lorelai walk down the middle of the street as Max takes inventory of their provisions for the town meeting. They walk into an in-progress town meeting where Taylor is putting something to a vote. Taylor says he hopes Lorelai doesn’t have food in those bags and she speaks nonsense until he loses his train of thought and moves on.

Taylor opens the meeting up for miscellaneous issues and our aforementioned guitar-playing man has an issue. He’s been the Town Troubadour for six months and thinks he’s done a pretty good job, but Whistling Trench Coat Guy showed up and there’s no room for two troubadours in Stars Hollow. Taylor says it’s, hands down, the silliest thing he’s ever heard (…but is it though?) and he opened up the floor for issues of substance. Morey says, “Don’t be uncool, Taylor. Music is substance.” Taylor warns after the “anatomically explicit epithet” Babette called him earlier, they’re both on probation. (…dick? Did she call him a dick? Because that wouldn’t be inaccurate.)

Town Troubadour says all he wants is for the Town Troubadour laws to be enforced. Rory looks longingly behind her at Dean sitting in the back with Clara. Taylor and the Troubadour continue arguing until Taylor asks what the Troubadour’s scam is, insisting it must be a money-making scheme because why else would he be doing it?

Rory jumps to his defense and says sometimes you need to say things and don’t know how to say them, but if you could write a song and sing it and say what you need to say, people would listen and you wouldn’t sound like an idiot, but not everyone can be a songwriter, so they won’t be able to say what they’re thinking or get the chance to makes things right again. Ever. The awkwardness settles as she tells Taylor to give the man a license. Clara tells Dean that was the Girl Scout and Taylor designates “Mystique Guy” as the official Town Troubadour.

Grace: And so ends the Trouba-War. …I’ll see myself out.

Sarah: Luke’s. Luke enters, Rachel updates Luke on #allthethings before picking up her bags. Luke asks if she was gonna tell him and she says she waited to say goodbye. He tells her to go and she asks if he wants to know why. He says he knows why but she doesn’t think he does. He says it’s like all the other times and she says it isn’t. He asks if there’s another guy and she says it’s another girl… for him. Luke says that’s crazy, what other girl? Rachel gives him a look and Luke understands. He tries to convince Rachel that they’re just friends, but she doesn’t buy it. (As well she shouldn’t.) (G: No one buys it.) She heads for the door and tells him to not wait too long to tell her.

Chilton. Rory tries to give Madeline biology notes, but Madeline’s not having it. Louise also brushes her off, calling her “Mary” again. Paris says she didn’t like Rory when they met, but eventually let her guard down. Rory wants to know how she made Paris her enemy and Paris tells her to think about it at P.J. Harvey. Rory tells Paris she’s not going and Tristan bought the tickets without her knowledge. Paris says she doesn’t have time for concerts anyway and reveals she just became editor of the school paper, but Rory shouldn’t worry because she’ll have some role. She joins Madeline and Louise on the stairs in a very Heathers-esque pose and wishes Rory a “really good summer.”

Chez Gilmore. Doorbell rings, Lorelai says “You’re annoyingly on time again” on her way down the stairs. To her surprise, it’s Luke at the door, not Max. He came to pick up his tool box, which Rory and Lorelai have named Burt. Luke tells Lorelai that Rachel left and Lorelai asks what happened. Luke says it’s hard to explain, but she had her reasons. Lorelai asks what reasons as Max knocks on the door and says he tried to be late. (Adorbs.)

Lorelai introduces Max and Luke, saying Luke owns the diner and has the greatest coffee. They acknowledge seeing each other at the town meeting. Max says they should be going and Luke says he’s leaving, he just left his toolbox around here earlier when he was fixing things for Lorelai. (Emphasis: Luke.) Lorelai says he’s very handy and they’ll talk later, but Max says probably not tonight because they won’t be back until late. Luke and Max verbally man-spar until Luke ends with, “I’ll always be around” and leaves.

Grace: Luke, I love you, but considering how deep in denial you were until 5 minutes ago about your love for Lorelai, you have no claim here.

Sarah: Max bluntly asks if “that’s over.” Lorelai says nothing’s going on, it’s just Luke. (Uh huh.) Max says it’s fine, because he dated while they were apart. Lorelai says she didn’t remain inactive, and Max says, “So you did date Luke!” Lorelai says she didn’t. Max says there was a vibe and Lorelai insists there was no vibe. (There was a vibe.) They continue arguing and Max says he didn’t intend for it to become a “who slept with whom” contest. He wants to know why they let it get weird when it’s getting good, they can’t keep getting close only to let something derail them again, and he can only think of one way to solve it.

Lorelai says break up, because she’s not interested in the murder-suicide thing. Max says they should get married. 

Lorelai asks for a clue if he’s kidding and Max says he’s not. He asks what she thinks and she says nothing, because he did not just propose to her. (Girl, I think he did.) Lorelai says, “A proposal has to be something more than a desperate desire to end a bickering match.” She says it has to be planned and magical — there should be music, romantic lighting, a subtle build up, a thousand yellow daisies, candles, and a horse, which is maybe over the top, but it should be more. Max agrees and apologizes and they decide to start the evening over.

Chilton. Tristan (ugh) skulks by a wall waiting for Rory. He says he’s “tired of this game” and Rory asks, “What game?” Tristan wants to know if they’re meeting at the concert, because it’s that night, and Rory says she hopes he and the empty seat have fun. Tristan says he’s getting irritated and so is Rory. (And so am I.) (G: Tristan is a generally irritating person.) He wants to know what she’s mad about and Rory says he told Paris she was going to the concert and they’d just started getting along and now Paris hates her again. Tristan says if the damage is done, she may as well come. Rory says she’s never, never, ever going anywhere with him ever. (Ever.)

Tristan whines about how the tickets cost a fortune and he doesn’t even know anybody else “who’s into this stupid guy.” Rory tells Tristan P.J. Harvey is a woman and turns to leave. Being the super mature person that he is, Tristan takes Rory’s books and says she’ll get them back when she agrees to go with him. (Ughhhh.) Rory says he’s pathetic and to keep the books because she’s leaving.

She walks into the courtyard and sees Dean waiting. He sees Tristan behind Rory with her books and starts to get back in his truck. Rory asks what he’s doing there and he says he’s leaving. She tells him not to go. He says he shouldn’t have come and he feels like an idiot because he came all the way out here and sees her with him. Tristan has her books and Rory says he took them and wouldn’t give them back and wants to know why Dean’s there.

Grace: You, of all people, should understand childish and possessive behavior, Dean.

Sarah: He says he thought Rory was trying to talk to him because she came to his house. Rory tries to pretend that wasn’t her, but Dean says Clara recognized her from the pictures in the box of stuff he has of them. Rory minorly swoons over the fact that he has a Rory box. Dean asks about her rambling during the town meeting. Rory says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and he says he must’ve imagined it all. He goes to leave and Rory tells him to stop because she loves him. Cheesy music plays and they run to each other and start making out and Tristan looks all butt hurt standing over by the wall.

Independence Inn. Lorelai is running in as we hear Michel and Kirk arguing. Lorelai asks what’s going on and Michel asks for confirmation that he’s in charge of floral deliveries. Kirk says he’s just doing his job. Lorelai asks if it’s about flowers they ordered and Michel says it’s flowers they did not order. Kirk says he’s just doing his job. Michel says if Kirk says that one more time he’ll punch Kirk’s nose. Lorelai says it must be a mistake, Kirk insists it’s not a mistake, and Michel says, again, that he didn’t order the flowers.

Kirk tells Lorelai it says she has to be there to personally accept them. Lorelai is confused and Michel starts rambling again as realization washes across Lorelai’s face. Kirk and Michel continue arguing as Lorelai walks into the Inn, clearly overwhelmed. Michel and Kirk walk in and Michel whines, “Daisies, no less.” He calls them pitiful little things, just a notch up from weeds and there are so many, at least… “A thousand of them, a thousand yellow daisies,” Lorelai finishes.

The la las begin as Lorelai looks around the room in disbelief. (I’m just wondering how on earth Kirk got them all in the Inn before Michel began flipping out.) (G: I’m imagining Kirk just steadfastly walking in and out with the vases as Michel snarks.) Lorelai digs her phone out and dials. Max picks up and says he couldn’t find a horse. He apologizes for proposing how he did, but says he didn’t propose because they were fighting, he proposed because he loves her. He says they’re in a bad pattern and have to break it, and he’s not keen on the murder-suicide thing, so he can only think to be impetuous. (Side note: Is this the first time Max has said “I love you”? And he just barrels on past it like that? For real?) (G: Their whole relationship has weird pacing to me.)

Max says he’s spent his whole career teaching the great literature, which is full of people who let opportunities slip by. He says he doesn’t just teach literature, but life lessons, and if he doesn’t follow the tenets of those lessons, he’s not the man he thought he was or wants to be. Lorelai says he talks so good and goodness gracious, I have to agree. He doesn’t want an answer now, because he’s thought about it and he wants her to think about it, too. He says he loves her and knows this to be true.

Stars Hollow. Lorelai walks down the sidewalk past Town Troubadour when Whistling Troubadour pops up and Town Troubadour invites him to join. Lorelai bursts into Luke’s looking for Rory. Luke asks if everything’s okay and Lorelai says she thinks so, but big, potentially life changing things could be happening. Luke offers coffee while she waits, which she declines, showing Luke whatever’s happening is really big. Lorelai’s pager beeps and it’s Rory, so she leaves, but not before giving Luke a yellow daisy.

Lorelai and Rory dramatic run toward each other and excitedly squee and freak out as we pan out on a gazebo covered in twinkle lights. And so ends Season 1.

 

Next time on Gilmore Girls: We start season 2 with Lane’s freakout about spending a summer in Korea in S02 E01 – Sadie Sadie.