Previously: No talking to boys in the buffet line.
—
Marines: As they walk away from the buffet line, an oblivious Tess is like “so where’s Landon?” and Hardin is like idk. Because he was lying about Landon just to get Tessa away from something else with a penis. Cool, cool, cool.
Samantha: I hate it.
Mari: Gammy finds them again and asks for a dance with Hardin. He lies again and says he’s off to grab Tessa a drink. Gammy asks Tessa if Hardin is still drinking. She’s kind of taken aback and stammers out an answer about how he only drinks sometimes. (S: Even Gammy knows this kid is a pain in the ass.)
Karen and Ken also find them, and it’s super awkward as they make small talk about the wedding. Ken grabs champagne and Tessa gets all tense, but he just passes it to Karen. Hardin leaves again to get Tessa another glass of champagne. When Karen asks if he’s not drinking, he says he already had one and he’s driving tonight. Karen looks at him like he’s the second coming of Sober Jesus.
Karen invites Tessa over that week to do some more gardening. Gammy seems surprised that Tessa and Karen are so friendly and asks Hardin how long they’ve been dating. Hardin mumbles something about a couple of months and Tessa thinks about how only a few people know that they hated each other a few weeks ago l o l. Gammy makes a joke about not having any great grandchildren in her future. Hardin says definitely not since they only just moved in together. Karen and Tessa both do spit takes.
Tessa can’t believe Hardin would actually admit to people he was living with Tessa, which is a cool and very normal thing. (S: Uggghhhh.) Everyone seems chill with it. Everyone usually seems chill with everything around Hardin because no one wants to upset him. Ken cautiously asks if maybe they could visit the new place. Karen warns him gently, but Hardin surprises everyone by saying that yes, they may visit. Ken almost starts crying.
Music starts playing, so it’s first dance time. Karen hugs Tessa and whispers in her ear that she’s done so much for this family. Maybe she should start charging Ken and Karen hourly, like a therapist.
Samantha: Honestly that’s such a gross pressure thing to put on an 18-year old. “Thank you for fixing (except not really) this deeply problematic person, keep up the good work!”
Mari: Everyone gathers around to watch the first dance, but Hardin has other ideas. He wants to take Tessa upstairs. She protests, but he just grabs her hand and starts leading her inside, grabbing another champagne for her on the way.
In his bedroom, Tessa asks what’s up. He says he just needs her, but she asks again: is he okay? He says he is. He just needs a distraction. Tessa is like, cool, in that case, let’s do this.
They start making out and grinding against each other. He pulls out a condom, but takes time to comment on the fact that they have to get Tessa on birth control so he can stop using condoms. “I want to really be able to feel you.”
For the love of everything, please leave men pressuring women about birth control choices out of these “romance” stories, PLEASE. Put the damn condom on and shut the hell up.
Samantha: HAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She gets to make that choice not you ShUt uP!!!!!!!!!!
Mari: They start undressing, but not all the way. Hardin wants Tessa to keep her white dress on because it’s sexy yet “virginal looking.” We really drive home the dynamic with super amazing writing as Tessa tells us that he is fire and that she is ice and that they are super different but also, like, the same.
I know you probably think I’m joking but:
“We are so completely different, yet the same.”
Have I reminded you recently that Todd got rich off of this? lol.
Samantha: The fire and ice thing is straight out of fucking Twilight, literally. Fuck off, both books.
Mari: They have sex up against the door and it’s all heavy breaths and hair pulling and frenzied confessions of love before they both reach their climax together.
Hardin cleans himself off and asks Tessa to remind him to throw away the used condom when they get downstairs. He thanks Tessa, not just for the sex, but for everything. Tessa says he never has to thank her for anything. He does just as much for her. More, maybe! I really am curious what she thinks Hardin does for her, but not actually, because I wouldn’t want to read her reasoning. Tessa asks how she looks, and he teases that she looks freshly fucked. If I were Tessa, I would find a mirror stat because I wouldn’t trust that human malfunction to not send her downstairs rumpled and semen stained as some additional way of making sure no one else with a dick spoke to her.
Hokay, another break, but still same chapter. This book has ruined me so any After chapter that is longer than 2 pages feels like a Tolkien book. When we have these oddball long chapters, I can actually feel myself running out of steam. I need like a snack and hyping myself up break.
Samantha:
Mari: Back downstairs, everyone is dancing. Tessa wants to dance, and at first it seems like Hardin won’t dance with her because he doesn’t dance but… then he dances! Wow, it’s like 94 chapters later, all the abusive relationship shit was worth it so they can sway together on dance floor wow.
We get specific information about what songs are playing– Florence and the Machine, more The Fray, a poor unnamed boy band lol I wonder what boy band would go unnamed in this book even though up to this point we’ve gotten specific information about what was playing. It makes Tessa smile but Hardin rolls his eyes. I WONDER WHAT THIS COULD BE ABOUT. Hmmmm.
Samantha:
Mari: While they dance, Hardin explains that he hasn’t seen his Gammy since he was 12. She still lives in England. She took Ken’s side during the divorce and defended his drinking. Next, they joke about going back upstairs and having sex because their conversation is really only 3 modes: trauma, I’m gonna fuck you, one of us is mad so let’s only kind of talk about it.
Ken comes over and asks to cut in. Hardin is not happy about it, but grants permission for one dance. Tessa is uncomfortable at first, but Ken is perfectly pleasant and she relaxes. Hardin dances with Karen meanwhile and they laugh when he steps on her feet. After the song, Tessa and Hardin say goodbye to Ken and Karen.
On the way out, they run into Mr. Vance, Kimberly and Trevor. Trevor asks if they are leaving already, but Hardin is rude and says they’ve been here for a while and then just pulls Tessa away. Tessa tells him that was rude. Hardin says he can be as rude as he wants to be because Trevor was totes flirting. He wants her.
Samantha: I know we all know it but truly Trevor was not flirting at all unless I’ve been deeply misunderstanding flirting for 28 years.
Mari: I mean, knowing how this goes, Trevor is going to turn out to be a jerk somehow to make Hardin look better in comparison. But “leaving so soon?” while surrounded your coworkers is not flirting and Hardin needs to calm the hell down.
Tessa doesn’t want to ruin the night so she just asks Hardin to be civil since she works with Trevor. Hardin grins evilly and says he could just always have Trevor fired. Tessa can’t help but laugh at that. She calls him insane, and he doesn’t actually deny it so sorry Trevor I think you are fired now. Hope you don’t have any rent to pay or anything…
Next time on After: Tessa and Hardin had a good night so of course they fight in Chapter 95.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.
