Previously: Halloween is cool.
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Exorcise Your Demons
Marines: We start in a flashback– six months ago, Angela, the 3M’s Mom, and Mel are sitting at their kitchen table, talking about whether or not Angela should report Thaine’s sexual harassment. She fears backlash. Mel tries to convince her to report, so it doesn’t keep happening, but Mom tells Angela that she needs to decide what to do for herself. She has their support either way.
Rebecca: Excuse me while the former film student awakens from its slumber while coughing up dust, but what a great match edit between scenes.
Mari: Present. In the attic, Mel is standing watch over their demon on a leash. She hears sobbing and gets closer to investigate. Harbinger Angela growls and attacks. Maggie walks in to take over demon-sitting. She’s got Dante’s The Divine Comedy to keep her company. Mel asks which circle of hell they are currently in, but Maggie is way too behind in her reading to actually answer. It me in college lol.
Rebecca: It me in high school.
Mari: Anyhow, Harbinger Angela growls about death and pestilence and The Source will rise. Maggie asks if it’s weird that she doesn’t find “Harbie” that freaky anymore. 1- I like “Harbie” and 2- I still hate looking at Harbinger Angela. I can’t look at the screen in the eye.
A rat runs out and Maggie freaks out. She warns the thing that Harbie will eat it, but instead Harbie grabs it, insta-roasts it, and then throws it at the girls. EW and RUDE.
Rebecca: Ok I died laughing at Maggie rolling her eyes at the hell demon that basically looks like a more terrifying Linda Blair but SCREECHES at a tiny mouse. Most relatable thing I’ve seen in this show yet.
Mari: I’d like to say for me too, but honestly I’d be screeching at all of it.
Charred Title Card.
Morning. The girls are all tired of Harbie (R: Fully Loaded) and ready for the Elders to show. Maggie has the added worry of currently flunking out of her World Lit class. Mel tells her it’s not the end of the world (that’s up in the attic, rimshot). She can just ace the midterm. Maggie thinks maybe she’ll just drop the class, but Mel thinks maybe she should drop Kappa before she drops the class. Macy doesn’t want to hear any of this, so she calls for Harry. He apparates in. Macy explains that babysitting an incarnation of evil is v stressful. He says the elders are busy studying prophecy and gathering the right supplies to vanquish the Harbinger.
The doorbell rings. Harry thinks that might be the elders, but it’s just Nico and her partner Tripp. Harry points out the obviousness badness of the demon in the attic, police in the parlor situation and apparates out. Thanks for not helping.
Rebecca: Sigh. I miss Leo.
Mari: I’m still in the middle of recapping original Charmed, so I don’t.
Tripp and Nico ask questions about Angela, as her mother has filed a missing persons report. The 3M’s are very bad at playing it cool, to the point where Mel has to freeze time for a bit so everyone can compose themselves. Things get worse when Harbie starts thudding around and growling. Tripp and Nico ask wtf all that noise is when suddenly, a woman dressed in all white flounces in and introduces herself as Charity Callahan, interior decorator. She gives a good spiel about moving things around while redecorating and the cops wrap up their questioning and go.
Rebecca: Maybe this says a lot about me, but I always hate it when characters are so bad at lying. It’s not that hard, y’all.
Mari: There is certainly no reason to be this bad at it.
Once alone, Charity introduces herself as Charity the Elder, who is not actually old and not actually an interior decorator, but runs an investment fund that helps women in developing countries open their own businesses. She’s got a business card and a knife for everyone. (R: REALLY COOL knives I might add. I want one, and I love her now.) The knife is to kill Harbinger Angela tonight, during the full moon. She heads up to the attic to see the thing for herself.
After a commercial break, Charity is inspecting the Harbinger, and doing magic-y things. Harry and the 3M’s have a side conversation. The girls are not really on board for killing Angela, but Harry insists that it must be the only way if the Elders say it is. Charity joins them and Harry brown-noses. Charity mostly ignores him before explaining that she put a containment spell on Harbie, but it will fade by the next day. They must kill it that night. Mel speaks up about the not-coolness of demon-sitting their possessed friend for two days, only to be told to murder her. Harry tells her to defer to the Elder, like you would a monarch, but Mel doesn’t want to hear it.
Rebecca: Super jealous, honestly. Although I guess I can technically mute Harry whenever I want, too.
Mari: idk I think that basically makes you a witch.
Mel asks why Charity can’t just kill Harbie herself. Charity says it must be done with the Power of Three, which is the answer for e v e r t h i n g when it comes to Charmed. (R: Sticking to the classics.) Mel keeps insisting that they can’t do this. Charity keeps explaining that Angela is a goner, and Harbie is going to kill a lot of people and bring a lot of evil at midnight tonight. She sends the girls off and stays behind to prepare the ritual.
On campus, Mel is still insisting that they can’t do this, and Macy repeats what we literally just heard about Angela being a goner. Macy is team Kill The Beast. Mel is team She’s Not a Beast. Maggie can’t make these decisions because she can’t even pass World Lit. Macy goes to work. Mel tries to rope Maggie into a plan to see if Angela is still in Harbie. She’s supposed to be keeping an eye on Nico, but instead, Mel heads home to check the Book of Shadows.
Rebecca: Mel “I’m not gonna do anything irrational ever again!” rushing off as always. It’s been like 5 minutes since you made that promise, Mel. Memory and manners of a sugar-loaded toddler.
Mari: Tripp and Nico are eating lunch. Tripp is sure the 3M’s are hiding something. Nico is like bro, lay off my girlfriend and also maybe we should figure out who murdered a bunch of people on Halloween. And also I’m stealing a fry. (R: It was to assert her dominance.)
World Lit. The professor is lecturing on Dante, but it’s like TV lecturing. Lucy notices Maggie in the back and is surprised she’s actually in the class. Prof. reminds everyone about the 50% of your grade, 8 essay question midterms. Maggie winces and tries to leave quickly. Lucy yells for her super loudly though, and it’s great. (R: Pure and adorable.) She wants to walk together to go decorate their homecoming float. Maggie explains that she really needs to finish the book or else she’s going to fail. Lucy offers a solution. Her boyfriend Parker is real good with the World Lit and will tutor her. Lucy calls Parker over, and he’s all too happy to agree.
Rebecca: I groaned so loud I woke up my cat. This guy’s basic af. Why are these two hot women into him? Maggie and Lucy would be a way better couple anyway.
Mari: This is also sticking to the classics. Bland Charmed guys are a THING.
Lab. Macy is looking at something under the microscope. I feel like I should know what it is, but I don’t. It’s doing abnormal cell things, so Macy exclaims. Galvin walks over to see what’s up and Macy lies that she was just thinking about utilitarianism. He’s like, uh, okay, and then gets roped into talking about a hypothetical situation where lots and lots of people would almost certainly die unless you kill one person. Galvin says almost certainly is not certainly and killing someone would make him feel, you know, icky. Macy hammers home her whole BUT RATIONALITY! thing, but Galvin insists you can be a scientist and not like killing people. You can also be a scientist and have emotions. Something like that. (R: Can’t relate.) He invites her to the homecoming tailgate that night, but she can’t because she’s got a thing. Galvin is disappointed once again.
Rebecca: I don’t get why she keeps turning him down and that’s it. Say you’re busy and offer an alternative time? Guess her science brain can’t figure out that bit of basic logic!
Mari: Attic. Harbie is growling away, and I hate looking at it. (R: I like it! Good movie makeup.) Mel is at the Book of Shadows. She asks how to tell if Angela is still in there and the book opens to a calling of lost souls spell. Mel performs it, and we see Angela’s face appear over Harbie’s face. Angela asks for help because Harbie is too strong. Harbie comes back and says Angela is never coming out, which is just the challenge Mel needs.
Rebecca: Nearly yelled, “Hell yeah, girl!” Okay fine shit she’s growing on me.
Mari: This Mel emotional roller coaster is just as entertaining as the show.
Mel finds Charity downstairs. She tells her about the Angela thing, but Charity is still on team Kill the Beast. The demon is probably maybe too powerful to exorcise. Mel says she’s going to do it anyway, so Charity takes away her voice. Mel agrees not to try the spell, so Charity gives it back. Which just seems like a way to piss Mel off and give her her voice back so she’ll still be able to do the spell? You’re bad at this, Charity. (R: But her knives are SO COOL!)
Next, Mel finds Maggie on campus and drags her to their car. Which is rocking. Because Mel put the demon in the trunk and also doesn’t have a plan. (R: Really leaning into this Harbie: Fully Loaded title.) She just thinks they need somewhere private. Maggie has an idea. Mel notices that Tripp is following them. The girls freak out, but decide to just get in the car, freeze time, and drive away. To Tripp, it just seems like he looks down at his phone for a second and the next second, the girls have disappeared.
Rebecca: Dammit Mel I’m really trying to like you here, and I’m totally onboard with the whole Save Angela thing, but coME ON MY DUDE.
Mari: MMManor. Macy is explaining to Harry and Charity that Harbie killed the rat with something like super demonic small pox. Harbie is a walking pandemic and cannot get out. So, of course, they get to the attic and see that Harbie is gone. (R: This attic is sooo my aethestic thoug.h) Charity orders Harry to bring them back.
Maggie, Mel and Harbie are in some empty gym where the Kappas are building their float. Mel asks the BoS to show her a strong enough exorcism spell and it flips to blank pages. Harry apparates in and asks wtf is happening. Mel explains the episode so far– Angela is in there, Charity was wrong, they have to do this, etc.
And back at the MMManor, Macy gets a text from Maggie, asking her to come to them. Charity takes this chance to tell Macy that her sisters a v emotional. She’s got a knack for the leadership thing, though, just like her mother. Macy asks if her mother ever mentioned her. Charity admits that she didn’t, but once, when they were young witches, Marisol asked Charity to perform a spell on her to take away her anguish at a loss so she could keep on living. Macy starts crying and asks for a moment to compose herself. As she turns and walks away, we can see her determined look.
Rebecca: Macy is a goddess. But okay she can cry and lie to this elder witch so good but when talking to the detectives she couldn’t say a simple, “I didn’t see when Angela left the party” K SURE
Mari: Macy shows up at the empty gym to help her sisters. She apologizes to Mel for being hard on her emotional shit, but she’s ready to not be a murderer. The sisters join hands and suddenly, the spell on the empty page of the BoS starts revealing itself.
Rebecca: Don’t pretend you’re cool now, Harry. We all know you’re a complete weenie.
Mari: Spell preparation time. They need an enchanted vessel and find an empty paint can. They’ve got the spell. They need to lay hands on the demon, but that whole demonic small pox thing is a deal breaker. Macy suggests getting some science gloves from the lab. Someone pulls up outside in a car. Maggie volunteers to take care of that while Macy and Mel get the gloves.
Outside, Maggie has her boys and emotions time-out because it’s Parker! He’s here to stash some illegal fireworks. He asks why Maggie isn’t studying and she becomes self-deprecating about how not smart she is. Parker gets very intense, especially considering they’ve seen each other like twice, and tells her to believe in herself, basically.
Rebecca: They literally know nothing about each other. What are Parker’s hobbies? His dreams? What’s he hiding under that bland, shaggy hairdo? We need to know.
Mari: Harbie starts making a ton of noise, and Maggie realizes that you can see her from out here. In order to keep Parker from turning and looking, she kisses him. Classic. After they break apart, Maggie says that was a mistake and tells Parker to just go. He does and I think his illegal fireworks just stay on the ground outside.
Rebecca: But where did he leave his self-respect?
Mari: It’s a mystery.
Back inside, the containment spell has worn out and Harbie is making a break for it. Harry throws Maggie the compass that summons Charity and I have n0 idea why he doesn’t just use it himself. Maggie just… opens it. And Charity appears in time to magic, lightening lasso Harbie.
Rebecca: She also takes the time to say, “Time’s up, witches”, which is just fantastic. What a delight.
Mari: Macy and Maggie run in with the science gloves just as Charity hands her magic lasso to Harry and the murder knifes to the girls. The 3M’s refuse to take them. Harry shows Charity the spell Marisol left them. Charity decides to let them try the exorcism.
Harry and Charity hold Harbie down with chains (R: in a surprisingly epic shot with Harbie sitting on a throne). The 3M’s take turns saying the spell, in Spanish, and laying hands on Harbie. A Magical Indoor Wind starts up, but they aren’t sure the spell is working. Maggie uses her empath powers to reach Angela and tell her to fight. The girls all shout, “Behold! The Power of Three!” and Harbie releases Angela… just as Tripp walks in. He’s got his gun out, so Charity dissolves it with magic. She grabs the empty paint can and Angela pukes Harbie (R: Full UNloaded) into it. Angela passes out, but she’s breathing.
Unfortunately, Tripp got straight killed by some of the debris caused by the magical indoor wind. Damn. Shouldn’t have been so suspicious, Tripp. That’s a good way to get killed on TV. Charity says she’ll handle the whole dead cop thing and sends the girls home with Angela.
Rebecca: Ok. Like. Wait. I can accept him getting killed by a metal pipe that SOMEHOW got swept up in a wind that had only been blowing around pieces of paper but…wait. No. I can not. I get killing him there for The Drama but excuse me what? Why that way?!
Mari: Nosey bitches have to die.
Charity shows up at the MMManor a little later, saying she dealt with the dead cop in a way that wouldn’t raise suspicious. Mel blames herself (shocker), but Charity tells her she couldn’t have prevented it. This is the part of the job that never gets easier. Charity tells Mel to go stay with Angela, so she’ll be there when the girl she saved wakes up.
Angela wakes up and tries to process the weird half story the girls are telling her about how she woke up from a coma, came to a Halloween party, and then just blacked out again. Angela doesn’t remember any of it, but she is pretty happy she’s alive.
Rebecca: I am too; she seems delightful.
Mari: Downstairs, Harry is drinking tea in the kitchen. He congratulates the girls on a job well down, but warns that the Elders will still be displeased with their disobedience. There will be consequences, but that’s tomorrow’s problem. Maggie asks about his past with Charity, but he is unsurprisingly unwilling to discuss. Before he leaves, Mel congratulates Harry, too. “You were rad tonight.” Harry smiles and apparates out. Macy has such a lingering look that I immediately wonder if they are gonna go there with the witch and whitelighter thing.
Rebecca: I hope not. They need to make Harry a whole helluva lot cooler if they want me to go for that one.
Mari: The next morning, Parker shows up, ready for their study sesh. Maggie tells him that she’s asked for an extension from the Professor. She wants to try and do this alone. And also they probably shouldn’t be within kissing distance.
Rebecca: Because he’s such a babe!
Mari: In the kitchen, Mel is still sad about Tripp. Her sisters try to comfort her.
And even later, Nico is over. She sobs as she tells Mel that Tripp hung himself in the warehouse and there is evidence linking him to the Halloween murder. Damn. That’s cold.
Rebecca: WOWWWW that is really really messed up. I don’t care how cool your knives are, Charity. I don’t like you anymore.
Mari: Charity goes back to her office with her demonic paint can. In the elevator, a man dressed in all black (it’s a metaphor) (R: What? For what? I don’t get it, it’s too subtle!) turns to her, his eyes get all dark, and he asks her to switch paint cans with him. Charity is compelled to switch, and the Metaphor Man saunters back off the elevator.
Mari: I’m still on Team Reboot. Original Charmed makes me mad.
Next time on Charmed: Mel has to protect Niko’s ex in S01 E05 – Other Women.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm an Iowa native... still in Iowa who likes to write and talk about books on my YouTube channel, gingerreadslainey. When I'm not writing, I'm usually looking up conspiracy theories and finding at least one good thing in every action movie deemed bad.
