Wynonna Earp S01 E09 – Guns drawn and drawn again.

Previously: Wynonna killed the last of the Seven.
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Bury Me with My Guns On

Marines: The episode starts with Wynonna dancing in slo-mo, whipping her hair around and all that.

Karina: 1430 on that opening shot.

Mari: We see her try and pour her own beer at the bar. Doc’s Voice Over tells us that Earps are survivors, quick to recover. This Earp, though, is all that and has demons for miles. We watch Wynonna get handsy with a guy, but the she has a memory flash of Dr. Tool in the Hand of Evil, from last episode. She freaks out on the bar guy, but then calms herself down, telling herself she’s free. She’s good.

Apparently Doc is at the bar talking about Wynonna to someone? He tells this poor stranger that Wynonna is a distraction he can’t afford, on account of there being a witch out there that needs to get dead. Wy flirts with another bar guy, but calls him by the wrong name. She makes it up to him with a kiss, but then has a memory flash to Jack. This guy, though, doesn’t let Wy walk away so easily. Doc intervenes this time, his voice over saying that this is what friends are for. Wy runs off to be sick.

In the bathroom, Wynonna admits to Doc that she thought she would feel different after she killed the Seven. This coil that is wound up so tight inside of her is still there. Doc says mostly unhelpful things about how sometimes when you let the rage out, there’s nothing left, and also it’s the bad guys who survive. Wy thinks maybe it’s better to be bad, then.

RevHead Quarters. There are a bunch of dudes guarding the shed with those magic bones. One of them wonders why it takes so many of them to guard the bones, and they have a good laugh about how maybe the witch has a wand. And here she is, and her wand is a gun and idk why none of these men are armed? The good news for Constance is that they aren’t and she takes them all down.

I TOLD THAT DEVIL TO TAKE YOU BACK.

Bad Wynonna struts into the Sheriff’s station, complete with leather pants and a shirt that is lacey, so that it shows off her red bra.

Dolls is like OKAY WOW when he sees her. He heard about her drinking Shorty’s dry, but Wy’s in a good mood. This morning she woke up and thought that after killing the Seven, she’ll just kill another seven and another seven after that until they are all dead. Wy dares Dolls to “cock-block” the drive she woke up with.

Cut to Wy upset because apparently they want to do a psychological assessment on her. She had enough of that when she was committed following the deaths in her family. Unfortunately, there is already an analyst waiting in the interview room.

And cut again to Wy hooked up to a lie detector. She dodges the first couple of questions with sarcasm and humor. Dolls is watching from the other side of the one-way glass. He smiles at her answers, but whispers for her to stay on task. The next questions are about whether or not she has flashbacks about being abducted or flashbacks about killing her father. She says no, which registers as lies. The woman next asks about the last time she had sexual intercourse. Dolls wonders why the analyst is going off book. Next, Wy is accused of basically being a murderer.

K: Well, that seems like some inappropriate questioning coming from presumably HR. But then again this is a secret government operation trying to send demons back to hell so what really can you expect from them?

Mari: Apparently the answer is “not great HR.”

We cut to Wynonna stomping after Dolls, accusing him of leaving her out to dry in there. He claims that he couldn’t just bust in or else it would’ve made her look worse. She’s not even a real deputy. Wy points out that she’s the one with the big ass gun, sending the demons back to hell. Dolls starts to protest on a technicality, and Wy cuts him off by calling him a stupid government lackey. She was alone and scared in there. Dolls says she’s not alone. Wy wants to hear him say, for once, that he cares about her. He says nothing. Wynonna calls him a pussy. She walks off, but Dolls calls her back to add insult to injury: she’s suspended until further notice. Wy tosses the badge at him. I kind of hope he’s eaten by a demon at this point. Redeem yourself, dude.

K: LOLOLOLOL

Mari: -_-

Shorty’s. Gus is talking to a man about selling property. Waverly is trying to eavesdrop, but some dude is putting the moves on her. She shuts him down right before Wy arrives and tells him in no uncertain terms to move. Waverly shares the news that Gus is getting an offer to sell the bar. Wy looks back at the real estate agent, but he’s tatted up, so she’s suspicious.

Wy follows the real estate agent to the bathroom and pulls Peacemaker on him, saying very menacing things. The real estate agent ends up peeing himself in fear, and Wy finally clocks that this is just a regular real estate agent. The guy grabs his stuff and runs away.

K: Wynonna has had a rough time lately so I can’t even blame her. Even when everything else seems to have gone wrong, usually her ability to track down demons is spot on so it seems like reality is catching up with her. Everyone who has gone through trauma knows it can take a while to truly register. And while she may have killed the seven I don’t think she’s had any time to actually process that.

Mari: Meanwhile, Constance only has enough bones to put one full body together. She does the magic spell and the bones come together and up comes her creature/son, Drek. Constance tells the thing she’s his mother, and then apologizes that his brother is still bones. Her magic is spent so she can’t do anything about his half-formed face, but they’ve got to get moving anyway.

At the homestead, Wy is complaining about Dolls to Doc. She also admits that the whole real estate agent thing wasn’t only a case of mistaken identity. She wanted to kill him. She wanted to kill something. Doc gets real intense about how killing people is like a drug and she’s jonesing right now. Wy says she just feels like it’s better to go hunt than wait around and be a victim. Doc assures her that she’s never that. Wy leans in and they kiss for a second before Doc pulls away, since he isn’t sure this is a good idea. Wy says she’s blowing off steam, and Doc is like okay. As they kiss, Wy presses on his bullet injury, so they talk about that and Constance for like a minute before Doc says he’s more interested in kissing.

The Sheriff is reading what Nicole wrote down about her experience, but Sheriff doesn’t believe her. He basically threatens her with the loss of her job if she doesn’t redo the report and cut out the creepy stuff. Nicole gets the message loud and clear. When she leaves, the Sheriff pulls the report out of the trash and looks pensive.

As Nicole walks out of the Sheriff’s office, she runs into Waverly. Nicole wants to talk. She wants to make sure she isn’t crazy. Waverly says she isn’t, but she isn’t ready to get into this. It’s clear to us that Nicole is talking about the woo woo in Purgatory and Waverly is talking about the deep love she feels in her heart. It’s cute, but not to Nicole who really just wants to know wtf is happening in this town.

K: Awww, this is such a trope and yet I love it.

Mari: Constance is driving, but finds herself face to face with Bobo and a bunch of his minions holding fire guns. She tries to run them over, but Bobo uses his… demon power?… to stop her car. They have a bit of a showdown, complete with Bobo bringing out the remaining bones she needs for her second son. We start to hear banging coming from her trunk and then Drek lets himself out. Everyone is like oh my god, because Drek is a big mess. Constance just wants to get the heck out of this town with her messy son, but Bobo thinks not. If she wants out, he wants the Lead. Constance says she doesn’t have it. All she knows is that it is still in the triangle. That’s not enough for Bobo, who sets the reamaining bones on fire. And that causes Drek to go down in flames, too. Constance cries.

K: Tbh, that’s better for everyone involved including the resurrected boy. I’ve seen enough resurrections in the Arrowverse to know they always come with a price, and we’re not all Sara Lance.

Mari: Cut to Doc and Wy still making out, now on the bed with less clothes on. Their sexy times is interrupted because Doc can suddenly sense the agony Constance is in. He thinks this is an excellent time to find her and kill her, seeing as how she’s already weak. As they get dressed, Wy points out that maybe killing the witch isn’t the best plan seeing as how that would mean Doc dies, too. Wy gets a call from Dolls, and when her back is turned, Doc leaves without her.

At the Sheriff’s office, Dolls is struggling with the coffee pot. The Sheriff steals his mug, forcing Dolls to follow him into his office. There, the Sheriff he fills Dolls’s cup with whiskey instead of coffee. Dolls sits for a chat. The Sheriff knows that weird things happen in Purgatory, from the stupid weathervane that always points west to… uh, everything else. He knew that Dolls came here to investigate the paranormal, but decided not to say anything about it. Now, though, his deputy almost got killed. The Sheriff hands over a file on Bobo and the trailer park and some powerful people. He thinks that underneath multiple layers of asshole, Dolls is a good person, so maybe they can start working together on a case by case basis. First up, they are gonna look over these files and blend in while sitting at Shorty’s.

Nicole finds Waverly walking alone while getting close to the edge of town, and tells her to get in the car. Nicole apologizes for being an asshole before, but thinks they need to get on the same page. Waverly jumps right into a little tirade about how things are changing too fast for her and all she wants is for everyone to stand still. Nicole tells her it’s going to be okay, which catches Waverly off guard because, you know, Nicole is really nice. Nicole says Waverly must’ve dated too many assholes. Wav snaps that they aren’t dating. Nicole doesn’t want Waverly to be anyone she’s not. Waverly doesn’t want Nicole to want anything from her at all. But then Waverly adds maybe they can just be friends. Nicole huffs a little and says sure. Whatever Waverly wants.

Constance is still out on the road sitting by the charred remains her sons. Doc finds her and she starts begging him to help her get across that line. And of course, Bobo and his minions are still there. Bobo explains that he was gonna just leave Constance, but then he felt her pain speak to Doc and had to stick around for the reunion.

K: I know better than to apply real scientific knowledge to these things but I wonder how hot that fire was the bones got hit with? Because bones don’t burn to ashes unless hit with a lot of heat energy and those weird flame guns didn’t seem like much. But then again, these are also mystical bones hit by fire by demon so who the eff even knows anymore?

Mari: We’ll call it magic and split the difference.

Wy shows up (K: wearing a coat Lady Gaga deemed maybe too much) and she’s got Peacemaker. She pulls it on Bobo , but then Doc pulls his gun on her and uses a lot of old timey words to tell her to put it the hell away. Wy looks a little confused, and tries to bluff that she’s got Dolls and the Sheriff with sniper rifles for back-up, but it doesn’t work. Bobo tells his minions to stand down, and Wy lowers Peacemaker as well.

And then Doc turns the gun on Bobo and reminds him that he pinky promised to deliver Constance to him. If he goes around breaking his word that way, how are all his minions supposed to believe all the promises he made them? Things are very tense as revenant stares down revenant… but then Bobo smiles and says okay. Constance is Doc’s. See? He keeps his promises. Doc is satisfied, as long as he and his women get safe passage. Wynonna doesn’t particularly like being called Doc’s woman, but he tells her to shut up. One of Bobo’s minions gets a call, so that’s their cue to go do more evil deals elsewhere. Before he goes, Bobo gets all up in Wy’s face and tells her he has a very special surprise for her.

Waverly serves Dolls and Sheriff their coffees at Shorty’s. After, she confronts her aunt about selling Shorty’s. Her aunt says, yeah well, Waverly can’t be a small town waitress forever. The agreement says that the new owners can’t tear Shorty’s down, so Waverly can keep working here until she’s ready to go live her life and be honest about what she wants to do and… who she is. *significant look* Oh, and also, her aunt gives her a check with some money from the sale so that should make her feel better!

One of Bobo’s minions, the one with the cell phone I think, comes into Shorty’s looking for Wynona. Wav says she isn’t around, so the revenant says he’ll wait. Dolls is watching from another table.

Doc and Wy deposit Constance into a barn. Doc is putzing around with something, but Constance sees a knife and starts magic’ing it over to herself… and nobody does anything about it? Thankfully, Wy is able to stop the knife and punch Constance in the face. Doc has a magic bind to tie her up with, which does work. As Doc is in the middle of his big vengeance declaration, Wy brings up the whole Doc stopped her from shooting Bobo thing. Doc says she never had a chance. Plus, he had a deal with Bobo. Wy is disgusted. First Doc made a deal with Constance and then with the devil himself. Doc says he doesn’t care about Wy’s judgement. She’s just a broken woman. Wy punches him IN THE FACE. Constance is living for the drama.

Doc pulls his gun out AGAIN and points it at Constance’s face, but she tells Wy that she knows how the Earps were cursed. She’ll share if Wynona keeps her alive. Doc says she’s lying. Wy pulls out her gun and says Constance may be lying, but it could be that Wy is about to make a deal for herself.

After a not!break, Wy asks Constance about the curse. She admits the details on that are hazy because that was her demon husband’s doing. It was his revenge on Wyatt for killing their sons. Her revenge was more… poetic. She went after Wyatt’s best friend, Doc. She tricked him with promises of health and longevity. Once Wyatt found out that Doc made a deal with a witch, he was mad. But Constance threw Doc in a well, just in case Wyatt ever softened and came looking for him. “Did he?” Doc asks, hurt and unbelieving. Constance ignores his question, and keeps talking about how all this time, Doc thought this was personal but it was always about Wyatt. Doc is always second-fiddle. Doc draws his gun (AGAIN) (drink every time…?) (K: Not sure that’d be a good idea.), but Wy tells him to stop. Killing her will only kill him, and she’s got a better idea.

Cut to Constance in the back of a pickup, where they’ve driven her to a salt field. If Wynona buries her out here, it’s a loophole, see? Constance freaks out.

K: Isn’t it nice they have a slat field conveniently close to Purgatory? This reminds me of Buffy when Sunnydale had everything they conveniently needed that episode.

Mari: Sheriff’s office. Waverly barrels in and asks if the Sheriff is gone. Nicole is like, “yep, he’s at Shorty’s, like clockwork.” Waverly lets herself back into the Sheriff’s office and starts closing all the blinds. Nicole follows her in there and asks what is going on, so Waverly launches herself at Nicole and kisses her until they end up on the couch. Nicole pulls away and asks what happened to just friends. Waverly says that she’s always wanted to be brave and do scary things, but that’s even more difficult when the scary thing is right in front of you. Nicole is the thing that Waverly wants to do most in the world. Waverly says that sounded more romantic in her head, but Nicole seems to like it just fine. Waverly says she doesn’t know how to do this, but Nicole assures her she knows plenty well. They start making out again and I think… yes, I’m sure, I might hear Karina squealing from a different country.

K: You know me so well. Also, queer people portrayed by actual queer people is very much my jam.

Mari: Doc and Wy have Constance buried except for her head out in the salt field. She’s telling them all about how she tricked Bobo into getting her bones for her because he thought she had the Lead. Doc asks what it is. Constance says it’s the last thing Bobo needs to escape the Ghost River Triangle and Wynonna. They are like cool, thank you, and leave her buried amidst all her protestations. Doc thanks Wy, and it seems these two are fine with each other now? I don’t know. I feel like one of them should still be mad at the other. Doc invites her out for a drink, but she takes a rain check. She’s got another message from Dolls. Doc wonders if they are sure no one will find Constance out in this field, and I mean, it sure seems like it could happen. Maybe check on her weekly or something? idk.

K: This seems like a convenient way to (a) have her get out somehow and wreak more havoc over Purgatory or (b) come back to her when the story calls for it.

Mari: At the Sheriff’s station, Dolls announces that Wy passed her second assessment with flying colors. Wy is confused because she never took a second assessment and Dolls is like wink wink yes you did get it? He hands her her deputy badge back, admitting he’s not good at apologies or feelings, but he’s got a gift for her. Outside his office, he’s got the Cell Phone Minion all tied up and waiting.

Wy draws Peacemaker as Cell Phone Minion says that he was chosen to deliver this message, so even though he’s going to die, it will be worth it to see the look on Wy’s face when she hears this: Bobo bought Shorty’s. Wy’s face falls and then she shoots the revenant.

At Shorty’s, Bobo lets his gang of revenants into the bar and announces that this will be the downfall of Wynonna. They whoop and drink. Damn, makes that check seem a little less like freedom, huh?

 

Next time on Wynonna Earp: On the way to clues, Dolls and Wynonna find a cult in S01 E10 – She Wouldn’t Be Gone.