Previously: Stefan lies badly some more, but this time at a party!
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You’re Undead To Me
Nic: Hello, beautiful readers. I’m Nic, and I’m back for my first episode recap! I’m new to Snark Squad, but I’ve been a longtime fan. When Emmy told me that she and Marines were working on this and suggested that I come onboard, I happily did so. It’s nice to meet all of you and I’m ready to rip into this episode.
So the episode starts with Stefan checking in on his brother, who is obviously not thrilled with the fact that he is a- drugged, b- trapped, and c- without his magical I-can-daywalk ring. When Damon weakly questions Stefan on his plan, Stefan at first says that in the ‘dark ages’ vampires who were a threat would be captured, judged, and then educated rather than punished. That sounds nice! And it’s also interesting that in this era there seemed to be some sort of Volturi-esque laws in place. However, Stefan then goes on to say that within a week, Damon will be a desiccated mummy unable to speak, move, or hurt anyone. Which, although fitting for Damon, is a tad bit darker than ‘educating’ him. Stefan says he’ll leave Damon in the family crypt for fifty years and then see if Damon feels more amenable to the squirrel-feeding lifestyle. Stefan offers an apology, leaves, and the title card plays.
Emmy: Just saying, Stefan looks REALLY serial-killer-y during this scene. He’s standing in the shadows so it’s just like his forehead and cheeks, and his eyes are pools of shadow. It’s creepy.
Marines: That was 100% murder lighting if I ever saw it.
Nic: You gotta have proper lighting if you’re gonna murder.
Elena wakes up in a tank top that I am instantly jealous of, sweeps her perfect hair over her shoulder, and goes straight for the diary. I mean– that’s dedication. I catch my journal up like once a week, and first thing in the morning I go straight for the bathroom while looking like a cross between Medusa and Cousin It.
In the bathroom, Elena runs into Vicki, who handles the situation like a champ. Vicki leaves and gets in bed with Jeremy. She grins as she tells him that Elena knows now, and he says that compared to his drug-use, him having a girl over is small-potatoes. They start making out. Oh, Vicki. I dreamt of a future for you where you did not make out with Jeremy. It’s okay, my dream of Vicky-Caroline-vampire-slayers will not be vanquished so easily.
Elena meets Jenna in the kitchen and asks if she knows what’s going on upstairs. Jenna doesn’t care that Vicki is there and just seems to be happy that Jeremy is acting like a less broody angst-riddled teenager than usual. I’m going to take this opportunity to wax poetic about Jenna and my love for her for a minute. She lost her sister tragically, adopted two teenage kids, and is trying her damndest to raise them while struggling through school herself. She has little to no social life that we’ve seen and dedicates herself pretty wholly to her new responsibilities. She’s just great, and I wish that I trusted Logan more to make her happy. On that note, she tells Elena that she’s going out with him and is hopeful about the opportunity to torture Logan. Atta girl, Jenna.
Emmy: Our commenters seem to share our love- we are pro-Jenna here. She needs to be protected at all costs… and depending on the type of show we’re watching, which I can’t guess at quite yet, MAY mean her certain death. I mean, Vampire Diaries isn’t written by George RR Martin, but…
Mari: Positive parental figure meeting certain death is not outside the realm of possibility here.
Nic: I’m not naturally optimistic, but I’m going to make an effort just for Jenna.
Elena shares how grumpy she’s feeling about Stefan. She says that she left him an awkward message of “hi, Elena, I have something I have to do. I’ll, uh, explain in a few days…” three days ago and has not called her since. She states that she’s not okay with it, but she’s going to move on because she doesn’t like who she is like this. This morning, she admits, she didn’t even write in her diary because she didn’t want to mope around. You know it’s bad when you’re not even writing in your diary. She states, “Honestly, I’m not going to be one of those pathetic girls whose world stops spinning because of some guy.”
But props for trying. (E: A+)
In Stefan’s side of the world, he tells Zach to stay out of the basement, then declares that he’s going to school because he came to live a life and the murder-rapist brother he poisoned and imprisoned isn’t going to stop him from living that life. Zach offers him some unrequested relationship advice. Like, thank you Zach, but you seem to be very bachelor and maybe aren’t the best one to advise your immortal broody uncle about what to do with his teenage girlfriend.
Mari: But also, if not Zach, who?
Nic: That’s a really fair point. Otherwise Stefan just relies on his own judgement which, as we’ve seen, doesn’t go well.
Also, total sidenote, but where did Zach come from? Did Stefan and Damon have another sibling? A cousin? Where did this weird little side Salvatore line come from?
We swap to Caroline and Bonnie, where I am having active whiplash from being jumped from one setting to the next every thirty seconds. Seriously guys, this is our sixth location in five minutes and thirty seconds. Caroline has holes in her memory as she tries to recount to Bonnie what happened with Damon. She questions if she let him bite her. Bonnie seems more interested in her candle than Caroline’s abuse history and barely offers any follow-up questions or support. When called out on her weird candle obsession, she sets it aside. She notices the Necklace of Plot, as I will now be referring to it, and calls it ugly. Caroline thinks Damon was going to give it to her, says that it’s hers now, and puts it in the super secure location of dangling from her coat hanger. Necklace of Plot sways and shimmers importantly.
Emmy: I’m actually really upset about Bonnie’s reactions here. Her friend, who is very involved in her image and isn’t usually terribly vulnerable, is telling her about some very real and painful trauma from a recent abusive relationship. Caroline is telling Bonnie that she has holes in her memory for God’s sake, and all Bonnie does is judge her for “letting” Damon bite her. Like, that’s a kink and it’s fine. How about worrying about literally any of the rest of the information given here?? Ugh.
Nic: Guys, we lasted forty whole seconds in Caroline’s bedroom! But now we’re at school. Caroline is happily planning a sexy car wash for the school. Bonnie says she’s in denial.
Stefan appears and greets Elena, and Bonnie dismisses herself as they stare dramatically into each other’s eyes because no one has time or the stomach to watch that. Elena’s pissed that Stefan didn’t call for four days, and when he explains that he was handling the Damon situation, she questions the fact that he dealt with Damon for four days. Stefan says she has the right to be upset with him, and asks if he can meet her at the grill at 4. I suspect he’ll miss this so that Elena can continue feeding her budding grudge. She seems overall tired of his shit throughout the conversation.
Mari: I get it, because Stefan is shifty and a terrible liar. I’m also like ma’am you’ve known each other for a pocketful of days, calm down.
Nic: Caroline pops into the picture and asks perkily where Damon is, stating that he has some apologizing to do. Stefan says he’s gone and not coming back. But he says it, you know, LIKE A SERIAL KILLER. Even Elena side-eyes him for the delivery.
He apologizes and runs off, which does not make him less murdery. Caroline looks upset that Damon is gone. Elena, in a lovely moment of focus and support for someone else, assures her it’s a good thing, but Caroline doesn’t look convinced as she acknowledges this.
Suddenly at the One Bar and Grill, Elena looks around for Stefan who is, predictably, absent. Matt sees her and suggests that she play pool with him to kill the time. And oh sweet Lord, that scene only lasts twenty-two seconds.
Emmy: We did not see Matt at ALL last episode, I don’t think. Even though his sister was taken to the Founder’s Party by Tyler and hooked up with Jeremy and the Founder’s Party should have been a big deal for all the characters. When he popped up, I was like “omg, hi Air Supply Matt! I haven’t seen you for a while!”
Nic: At the Salvatore house, Zach hears Damon coughing in the basement and decides to ignore Stefan’s order to leave him alone. He goes downstairs and, in my absolute favorite moment so far, declares, “I’m full of vervain! I’ve been putting it in my coffee for sixteen years.” I’m literally laughing so much at this, both because of the intense paranoia and the cleverness of it.
Emmy: I love that it is the FIRST THING HE SAYS too. Like, no preamble, just, “I AM FULL OF VERVAIN LOLOL GOOD LUCK BITCH.”
Nic: Zach states that he avoided having a family because Damon is in the world. Damon requests a rabbit and Zach says nope. He looks pretty pleased with this and with Damon’s weakness. Damon says that Zach is like his grandfather, who also didn’t like it when Damon visited. Zach saltily informs Damon that when he appears, it is Damon’s way of reminding him that it isn’t his house and that Damon is merely permitting him to live there and to live period. Damon uses his super-speed to try to choke Zach out and orders him to open the door.
Emmy: Why was Zach close enough that Damon could grab him?? He puts vervain in his coffee every day, refused having a family to keep them safe from Damon, and yet when there’s a starving vampire he stands within arm’s reach?
Mari: Okay, I commented this exactly earlier before I saw yours but like RIGHT? “Puts vervain in coffee every morning” doesn’t match with “hanging out in the basement with Damon” to me. Uncle Nephew Zach, my boy, you are better than this.
Nic: Luckily for my beloved Zach, Stefan intercedes and quite literally saves his neck from his own uncharacteristic stupidity.
Elena is catching up with Matt about sibling gossip and then admits that Stefan is now an hour late. Matt gets Elena to share her boy problems with him on account of they used to be best friends. Elena is bugged that he has secrets. Matt says that Stefan is great at football, a bit of a loner, and might be a nice guy. Elena looks kind of disappointed that he doesn’t have better dirt on Stefan. She asks if she’s being paranoid, and Matt tells her to talk to Stefan, who magically appears. Elena starts reaming him for being late and Matt’s like I GOTTA GO because Elena is excellent at making people too uncomfortable to stick around.
As Elena starts questioning him and being frustrated about the non-answers, a random old Black man shows up. He states that he knows Stefan, who hasn’t aged a day. I’m going to name him Dennis, because the show doesn’t care enough to name him, even though it names everyone else. Stefan tries to dismiss this in front of Elena, but also looks genuinely confused by Dennis’ presence. I like this, as oftentimes those who recognize the vampires from their past were important in some way. This guy seems to have been rather unimportant in Stefan’s life, which is theoretically why Stefan doesn’t seem to recall him. Stefan tries to redirect Elena and take her home, but she’s pissed that he won’t tell her what just happened and leaves.
She tells her journal that she tried to fix things with Stefan, but that what she doesn’t know could hurt her.
Logan appears at the bar and greets Sheriff Forbes, who states that she checked the warehouses and caverns but to no avail. They still haven’t found the vampire, but Logan says that someone who only shows up at night should become obvious. (E: They’re going to lose their goddamn minds when they find out they have magical rings.) Forbes says that the watch is important and he needs to start with Jeremy to find the watch. Logan nods, turns, and starts his date with Jenna, who gives him one hour to impress her. God. I knew I couldn’t trust you, Logan. Poor Jenna is just a means to an end and she deserves better.
At the Gilbert house, Jeremy finds Elena laying in bed and actually asks about how his sister is doing for once. Maybe now that he’s getting laid, he is a better person. That’s an interesting and not-at-all-dangerous lesson for the viewers. She declares that she’s miserable and Jeremy tells her to go get some food. She walks downstairs.
OKAY AND THEN STEFAN IS IN HER HOUSE.
Mari: There are some lingering shots on his hands as he chops and I’m not sure if we are supposed to be impressed or worried he’s about to cut a finger off?
Nic: I’m telling y’all, this cinematography is weird.
Upstairs, Vicki says that it was nice what Jeremy did for Stefan, and then starts crushing pain pills she stole from Elena. Pills that came from the car accident that killed her parents. Jeremy stops her just in time from using his family’s special ancestral watch to crush the pills. (M: Is Vicki trying to get high with all their family trauma?) He suggests that they not get high all the time, but she’s not down with this idea. She states that “I hope you’re not one of those guys who, now that that we’re together, you want to change everything about me.” He meekly says no, of course not, and she continues with her pill-crushing.
Now we’re back downstairs, because this director is determined to have more scene cuts than anyone in the history of television. I know I keep harping on this, but guys… it’s nuts. Stefan is listing favorites for Elena, and it’s nice that it’s a somewhat organic way to learn more about our characters.
Emmy: At this point, Elena says, teasingly, “Do you want garlic? I’m not eating it if you aren’t.” There’s a beat, and then Stefan laughs and says he loves garlic.
Okay, I understand. Vampire, garlic, garlic keeps them away traditionally. So if she KNEW he was a vampire at this point, it would make sense for her to either test him or tease him with that. As is, it seems… weird. Do people not like garlic? Is it just millennial culture to worship garlic in all its forms and earlier generations had people who didn’t?
Mari: Oh, see, I interpreted this as a date thing. Like… bad breath. “I’m not eating garlic unless you do, so at least if we kiss, we’ll BOTH have garlic breath,” sort of thing. But it’s funny because he’s a vampire and Elena doesn’t know.
Nic: Either one is a viable option, but since the viewer knows he’s a vampire, it’s a bit weird for Elena to outright mention it as if she, too, knows. Maybe it is just bad breath?
Elena cuts her hand while helping with the food preparations. She goes to wash off the cut and then sees Stefan vamping out in the reflection of the kitchen window. Honestly, it’s a really nice angle to show that off, but my inner vampire nerd can’t help but snark that if the vampires didn’t have reflections, Stefan wouldn’t be in this pickle. (E: SCREAMING.)
Stefan claims he has something in his eye and turns away when she tries to see what is happening to him. He gets his murder-face under control in time to look back at her. She feels embarrassed at her own behavior. “I think my paranoia is turning into full-blown hallucinations,” she laughs. “Part of your charm,” he replies with a smooth smile. NO BITCH THAT IS RUDE. Stop gaslighting this poor girl who now legitimately thinks she has gone insane.
Damon, looking like death, starts calling for Caroline, who is on the phone with a friend. Damon keeps calling for Caroline, who hangs up the phone. Spooky Crow shows up and she literally pushes it out the window with a pillow, which is rude but smart considering it’s Damon’s Spooky Crow.
This is where I come clean with you all and admit that I am a giant bird-lover, and I will root for any bird that ever shows up in any scene. Which means that I am Spooky Crow’s biggest fan.
Mari: Okay, I was going to be like “Rude? Shoo that thing AWAY,” but it makes sense for the bird lover to take offense. Proceed.
Nic: Thank you. Maybe you’ll come to love him, too.
Stefan comes downstairs to check on Damon, who tells Stefan that he must be feeling pretty good about himself. He says that Stefan needs to stop telling himself lies about what he is and that those lies will come between him and Elena. Stefan chooses to walk away instead of accepting that there is genuine logic to Damon’s statement here.
Now we’re at the Sexy Suds car wash, and I have to wonder about a few things. Who let the children of this school plan and execute this fundraiser? What administrator approved this? Why is it sexy? I can totally see teenagers planning this, but from a plot standpoint… is there any reason they’re mostly naked? Is it just so our main characters will flirt and then take off their clothes when Caroline scolds and judges them for wearing clothing? Keep in mind that they’re supposed to be teenagers, so it’s teenagers the viewers are oogling. I don’t know. This is weird.
Emmy: As a teacher of a high school, sexualizing teenagers like this always makes me a bit uncomfortable.
Mari: You have to figure that the writers think their viewers are also other teenagers… or at least, that’s what they tell themselves.
Nic: I mean,this is fair, but from a specific plot standpoint, from a screenwriting standpoint… I just don’t see why the characters would feel a need for sexy carwashes? Maybe it’s my social worker brain causing a fuss.
Bonnie tells Matt, who was observing Stefan and Elena’s current state of undress, to stop pining. Tiki, a girl washing cars with Bonnie, is a major asshole to a guy who comes to have his car washed and Bonnie makes the water spray up in her face as apparent punishment. Yay for finally involving another character in her magic, but she does it to a minor character and as a weapon. Bonnie has the face of a serial killer as she watches Tiki be upset about the water. I’m pretty sure that it doesn’t happen, but man… how could would it be if a plot twist and character arc was Bonnie becoming a villain as she becomes more and more controlled by her abilities?
Logan is at the car wash and finishes his newsreel with Jenna watching him. Why is the sexy carwash newsworthy?? Who approved this? I am filled with confusion and rage but none of the characters are. (M: They even joke about the news clip being full of girls in bikinis. SIRS.) Jenna says they had a nice time at dinner, and they talk about that one time they had sex in a minivan. They laugh. (E: Noooo Jenna, don’t fall for his laugh!)
Elena and Stefan are washing a car. Elena asks about Stefan’s ring and he says it’s the family crest from the Italian Renaissance and the stone is a lapis lazuli. He declines taking it off when Elena suggests that he do so to keep it from getting sudsy, and Elena leaves him to ask Caroline for more “shimmy things.”
Oh my gosh, it’s SPOOKY CROW! My sweet darling. He sits on a light at the car wash and watches as Caroline goes inside to get car wash supplies. She is alone in the school which, fun fact, is in my top ten creepiest settings. She hallucinates Damon asking her to help him and runs off.
Dennis from the Grill reappears to have his car washed and Elena questions him about his weirdness on his last appearance. (Is it because there’s so many scene changes that these episodes feel so long?? I promise to mention the scene changes less in my next episode, but this feels like we met him ages ago.) Dennis says he had thought he knew Stefan, but that he must have been mistaken. At Elena’s insistence, he shares that he lived at the Salvatore boarding house for a bit when he first moved to the town. Stefan was passing through to visit his uncle and that’s how Dennis knew about him. That uncle got killed, mauled by an animal in the woods. When Elena questioned if it was Zach who died, Dennis clarifies that the uncle who died was Joseph. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that he was Zach’s grandfather, and that Damon totally murdered him. (M: Good limbs to go out on.)
Dennis turns out to be Tiki’s grandfather, and she basically tells him to git. She says he has Alzheimer’s so you can’t believe him, which is both rude and throws his statements to Elena into question for the sake of plot. Elena asks Dennis if the names of the people he had known were Stefan and Damon Salvatore. He confirms, along with the fact that he remembers the ring, and states that this was in early June 1953. Then he repeats it all slowly for dramatic effect.
Elena returns to Stefan’s side and questions him about where his family all went, and he said they just spread out. Yeah, that’s not shifty at all, Steffie. Say some are in Seattle, some went south, some went to Chicago for a bit. Stop being so vague, good sir. If you’re going to lie, do it better.
Emmy: He really needs to take some lying lessons from freaking Damon.
Nic: Leaving the company of our main characters, we find ourselves in the woods. Vicki takes Jeremy to the cemetery to party. He isn’t so sure about this, but she tells him that these people are her friends. Her friends are doubtful that Jeremy is ‘cool’ as Vicki claims, make a joke about how young he is, and proceed to start getting high.
Back at the carwash, Elena pops up and talks with Jenna for a minute before turning to Logan. She asks him for a favor and says that she is doing a school assignment about a death in the fifties. (Subtle, Elena.) Logan agrees to help her go through the news archives at the station. Logan arranges to have dinner with Jenna at her house tonight, smiling when Jenna clarifies that it’s going to be leftovers. It’s funny and cute… if he weren’t going under false pretenses because we already know that a- he’s screwed her over in the past, and b-he’s trying to get the Watch of Plot.
Caroline approaches Salvatore house, looking vaguely possessed, and SPOOKY CROW is there to watch. God, I love him.
I did some googling just now because I’m a bird nerd and suddenly thought that they may have used a raven instead of a crow for filming. (Don’t judge me.) And in my googling I discovered that Spooky Crow is about to vanish from the series forever. I will cherish every glimpse of him from now on.
Caroline lets herself into the house and heads down the stairs. I have to say that this moment is cinematically pleasing and excels at building the tension.
Also, Ian Somerhalder isn’t great at looking sick.
Emmy: Nope. Still super hot. He just looks like he needs a good night’s sleep, not that he’s actively dying.
Mari: I look more like a desiccated living corpse on my best days than Ian Somerhalder looks with heavy “I’m dying” makeup.
Nic: Caroline is shocked that Damon is in a cell and asks how she knew how he was here. Damon says that he wanted her to know and begins to try to get up. Caroline protests that he bit her, he says he liked it, which she looks confused by. She asks why her memories are shifting around, and he explains that as the vervain fades from her system, she is starting to remember what he wants her to rather than the actual truth. He states that she’s going to open the door.
She starts to do as she is told, but Zach shows up out of nowhere to try to hold the door shut. He yells at Caroline to run, and she immediately does. Zach’s neck is broken by Damon as he gets the door open, and that’s actually pretty sad. I enjoyed him a lot.
Emmy: My heart is broken. Poor Zack. He tried so hard to help people.
Mari: RIP Zack. All that vervain coffee for nothing.
Nic: Damon chases Caroline with the intent to suck her blood like a popsicle. She kicks him to get away and sprints out of the house. She makes it out the front door and into the sunlight. When he tries to follow, he is burned by the light. Damon, you just mentioned at the beginning of the episode that your ring is gone. Amateur move, dude.
At the car wash, Bonnie is salty that she has to sweep because Bitchy Tiki tells her to. Annoyed by Tiki and looking for an outlet, Bonnie sets a puddle of oil on fire AND THEN A CAR and isn’t fucking worried about it. Dude, it’s not even Tiki’s car, it’s probably some random bystander’s.
Logan and Elena are at the news station. She starts to tell him that she’s looking for the Salvatore boarding house incident which, JESUS NO SUBTLETY. Luckily for Stefan, Logan hears about the fire and runs off to report it after giving her directions on how to use the archive system and requesting that Elena put in a good word for him with Jenna in exchange. Are there no other reporters around to do this job?
Vicki and Jeremy are high in the cemetery. Vicki suggests they raise the party to a new level and reveals that she stole Elena’s pills. She hands them off to her friends, but Jeremy is pissed about this turn of events. He says that Elena will notice that the bottle is gone. He starts to storm off after snatching it back. Vicki chases after him and they begin to argue. He says that her friends are losers and small-town lifers. She bitterly replies that he will get over his grieving period, leave her, move on, and tell his kids about his ‘dark’ phase when he was young. Meanwhile, she will still be there as a small-town lifer. She turns back and returns to the party, and he leaves. (E: Glee had a plotline just like this.)
Stefan looks for Elena at the wash because apparently she just ran off to the station without making up an excuse or offering a goodbye. Matt says that Elena is big on trust and that she won’t stop until she figures out what he’s hiding from her. Stefan looks troubled by this, as many stalker boyfriends do when they realize that they’re with a girl who doesn’t want to put up with a ton of lies and stalking.
Elena finally finds the record of the animal attack. There’s video footage and includes Stefan’s face. Elena looks all shocked because yeah, that’s pretty damning evidence.
Emmy: I was distracted by the fact that the reporter is a “Fell,” and therefore, is Logan’s ancestor/grandpa. What with the mayor being the family of Lockwood for god knows how long, I am seriously beginning to wonder if all careers are handed down like the goddamn monarchy in Mystic Falls.
Nic: Caroline is laying in bed looking relatively traumatized. Her mom checks in and asks if she’s okay. She inquires if it’s a boy thing. Caroline, in a moment of intense bitchiness, says that if she wants to talk about boys, she would call her father, because at least he’s successfully dating one. Her mother understandably backs off after this comment.
Emmy: Sheriff Forbes is wondering if she can cancel her subscription to motherhood right about now. We’ve literally seen Caroline do nothing but bitch and snit at her mother.
Nic: As Caroline rolls over, the Necklace of Plot swings dramatically and casts the shadow of a pentagram on her bedspread.
Stefan returns home to find that SPOOKY CROW IS DEAD, and I am so sad because I didn’t think that my last moment with him would be the last. Stefan finds Zach’s body next and looks sad about how his family line has ended. The music here is really effective for the moment.
Bonnie goes to her grandmother’s house, crying, and says she doesn’t know what’s happening to her. Her grandma offers a hug and an understanding expression.
Emmy: She calls her “Grams” and I have never seen a woman less deserving of the title. This lady is waaaay too young to be a “Grams.” She needs to be like… a Mimi. She looks like a hot aunt, not a grandma.
Mari: It’s Jasmine Guy!!! Who yes, is gorgeous, and I know forever and ever from A Different World.
Nic: Welcome to the show, Jasmine Guy. Here’s to hoping you survive.
Elena is in her room, realizing that Stefan never gets old, never stays hurt, and changes in odd ways. She’s putting all the pieces together and now realizes that Stefan and Damon are vampires. Props for her! It only took five episodes and they honestly could have dragged that out longer.
Emmy: I was expecting it to be at the very end of the season, honestly. Ugh.
Mari: I’m so happy it didn’t!!! She received all the clues, and she figured out all the clues. GOOD FOR YOU GIRL.
Nic: Vicki, at the cemetery, looks like she isn’t quite enjoying her high. She gets up from her friends to fix the radio at the car and sees Damon there, leaning against the vehicle for support. He asks her to come closer and looks pretty messed up. She catches him when he falls and he bites her. I know we’ve seen Vicki mostly-dead before, but she looks very dead this time. With her dies my dream of Caroline and Vicki’s vampire hunting saga. (E: Poor Vicki.)
Stefan finds a stake and goes to start vampire hunting, but duh duh duhhhhh, Elena’s at the door.
“What are you?!” she demands dramatically, and the episode ends.
Emmy: I am dying laughing because he opened the door with a goddamn stake in his hand and she knows he’s a vampire and he has to put the stake somewhere and she’ll see it and hahahahahahahaha
Next time on The Vampire Diaries: Stefan comes clean about the Salvatore family history in S01 E06 – Lost Girls.
I'm a post-college dog-mom who has no idea what to do with the rest of her life. I have a love for sarcasm, literature, animals, and ice cream, albeit not necessarily in that order. I believe in happy endings with a vengeance. I come from a family of beautifully witty and aggressively sarcastic women who pursue what they want, and I am so, so proud of that lineage. If you need me, I can usually be found at the nearest ice cream parlor, slurping malts and cuddling my pupper.
Emmy is a teacher/poet by day and a blogger/cat mom by night. She spends a lot of time watching scary movies and then jumping at every small noise for the next five or twelve hours. Her dream job would absolutely be kitten/puppy cuddling, or maybe professional napper.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
