Previously: Singing, sirens, and a possessed professor.
—
You’re Dead to Me
Marines: It’s been a while so the previouslies were very much needed. Thankfully, they remind us that Macy found a bunch of letters between her parents, including one where they talk about that one time they brought Macy back from the dead.
We start this episode 28 years ago, in the attic of the MMManor. A ghostly, demonic looking woman gently caresses a book about resurrections as Marisol begs her not to make her bury Baby Macy. Marisol broke this person out of Tartarus to help them. Ghostly Demonic asks if the Elders are aware of what Marisol is doing. Marisol says they don’t have to be. The Elders distrust necromancers, but Marisol doesn’t care. Ghostly Demonic, who is really just a necromancer leaning into the undead aesthetic, reminds them that there is a cosmic price that must be paid for resurrection, and they won’t know what that price is until the resurrection is complete. Macy’s dad protests, but Marisol doesn’t care what the price is as long as Macy gets to live. She hands the baby over to Ghostly Necromancer.
Thais: Macy’s dad reacts like I would. I guess he hasn’t been fully integrated into the witchy lifestyle.
Mari: For sure the audience stand-in.
We watch as Ghostly Necromancer slits her hand for a blood offering, speaks in Russian, and then pours out some smokey shit from a fancy bottle. Life floods back into Macy, and she cries. Her parents run to her.
Mel and Maggie have breakfast together as Mel reads over her mom’s “I resurrected my dead baby” letter. They are interrupted by Harry, who says he’s feeling somewhat better, but doesn’t want to talk to them about being their Whitelighter. Maggie promptly tells him all about Macy being resurrected. Harry freaks out, on account of necromancers using dark magic and being untrustworthy.
Next, Macy walks in, and it’s awkward. She tells them all to stop looking at her like that. She isn’t going to break. They all try their best to comfort her, to say she belongs alive and stuff, but Macy doesn’t want to hear it right now. She just wants her coffee.
Macy goes up to her room and looks at the resurrection book. Harry follows her, so she quickly stashes the book. He tells her he’s not here with a pep talk, even though he’s good at those. He just wants to tell her that he knows how she feels. He died and was brought back to life too. And it’s weird.
Thais: LOL at Harry comparing his becoming an angel to Macy being resurrected as a baby via dark magic. “We’re the same even though you came back to life before you were able to form memories!”
Mari: Macy considers this and says she feels weird, because her science brain is telling her that things that die don’t come back. Harry tells her he still deals with those feels, but looking for answers helped him. He didn’t have his memories, but he set out to understand what a Whitelighter is and does and it helped. Macy should look for her answers. Macy says she will, and when Harry is gone, she pulls the resurrection book back up and opens the cover.
Maggie and Mel walk together while Maggie yells at Mel for looking at Nico’s Instagram. Mel says she wasn’t planning on running into Nico! She’s just curious about what caused Nico to quit being a cop. Maggie gives her a look and Mel says she knows she can’t get involved with Nico again as it would probably be breaking some magical rule and be really bad news. Maggie hands Mel her phone back after she promises not to use it to Insta-stalk. They say goodbye.
Mel walks by Lucy and says hi. She says hi back, but then turns to see Maggie and more enthusiastically greets her friend. Lucy wants to know if Maggie is going to some stoplight frat party where people dress up “as the stoplight they identify with.” So, red means your are “booed up” and yellow means you are technically single and green means go “directly into my pants.”
Thais: I can’t quite figure out if Lucy’s way of talking is intended to be how real young people talk or if the writers are confusing themselves after watching TikTok.
Mari: We are truly “is this how the young people talk” years old, wow.
Maggie doesn’t want to run into Parker. She asks if Lucy is fine seeing him, and Lucy totally is because when she moves on, she moves on. Maggie says she’s moved on, too! Lucy says that then it doesn’t matter if she sees Parker. Plus, Lucy wants to get Maggie back into the sorority by Spring rush. Maggie is in.
Attic. Macy is sitting in a Pentagram with a mouse she stole from her lab. She opens her resurrection book and summons Ghostly Demonic. The incantation makes some Magical Indoor Wind start. Macy kills the mouse and it spills a lot more blood than you would expect. Then a bloody waterfall appears and Macy gets appropriately spooked. (T: Yeah, she would have to steal at 50,000 more mice for the amount of blood on screen.) Blood rushes back into the mouse, and it comes back alive, and then Ghostly Demonic comes out from the blood waterfall, looking like these days she shops more at Lily Pulitzer than Hot Topic.
After a Not!Break, I get a closer look at Ghostly Demonic [GD] and see she’s actually wearing some sort of floral uniform. Almost scrub looking but without the Crocs. GD is mad because Macy’s little summoning spell broke her concealment spell and there is a witch after her. Macy explains that she just needs answers, since GD was the one who brought her back from the dead. GD will give Macy answers if Macy helps her brew a new concealment spell.
Mel meets Nico at a coffee shop they used to frequent, which we know thanks to a helpful flashback. Mel asks Nico how she picked this place, and Nico says it just called out to her when she was walking by. It’s supposed to be cute and significant, but idk, that’s how it kind of works with coffee shops.
Thais: And like, how unique or special can a coffee shop in a college town really be?
Mari:Nico tells Mel she’s brave for taking the first step of leaving a dangerous group and touches her hand in comforting gesture. When the waiter comes, Mel orders for them both without thinking, and Nico asks how she knew her order. Mel smiles and shrugs.
Nico shares her story about how two years ago she was working as a cop but woke up one day and felt like something was missing. (T: Common decency.) Now, she gets to help people who are lost, and she loves it. The waiter comes back with their coffees and accidentally drops a napkin. Mel bends to grab it and her jacket slides off her shoulder, revealing a lightening scar on her shoulder. Nico asks how she got it, but Mel covers up and says it’s a long story. Nico says she’s having deja vu.
Later, Mel finds Harry at his office, as he wanted to see her. Mel asks if this has to do with Nico, and Harry’s like “NICO???” Whoops. Mel plays it off like she just randomly bumped into Nico at The Haunt the other day, no biggie. What’s Harry’s news? He says that he texted all the sisters, so maybe they should wait for everyone to arrive.
MMManor. Macy tells GD that she isn’t what Macy expected. GD says she was summoned from work, as necromancy doesn’t pay the bills. Macy more meant that GD is young. GD says that necromancers age slowly. (T: Given what she looked like before, necromancers age like Benjamin Button.) Macy uses her telekinesis to grab an ingredient for GD, causing her to ask why Macy killed the mouse with a knife instead of stopping it’s heart with her mind. Macy had no idea she could even do that. Next, Macy asks about Tartarus and why GD was there. GD says that the witch that is hunting her now, Cyd, asked her to resurrect a demon she was in love with. When GD refused, Cyd went to the Elders and said GD was the one trying to resurrect the demon. Macy can’t believe the Elders just believed Cyd. GD says the Elders hate necromancers and spread all kinds of lies and rumors about them.
Thais: I love that the Elders have the Greek mythology version of hell.
Mari: In its cage, the mouse’s eyes have gone all red and he’s banging himself against the glass. GD collects the mouse and snaps its neck. Macy is like “wtf just happened.” Mice can’t handle the transition and this mouse “turned.” Meaning that resurrection calls forth powers of light and darkness, but some beings can’t handle it, and they turn full dark. Macy gets “oh no” face because she’s been told she has darkness in her and wonders if she’s going to turn.
They are interrupted by Maggie, who comes in with a fashion question, but quickly recognizes GD as “Knansie with a K,” pronounced like Nancy, a cashier from a local grocery store. Macy says that Knansie is also the necromancer who brought her back to life. Maggie is like “but she’s BAD NEWS!” and Knansie is standing right there. Kinda rude.
Thais: Knansie? No. Hell out of here with that, Charmed.
Mari: I honestly don’t understand if this is supposed to be funny? Like, why Knansie?
Suddenly, a burst of energy breaks into MMManor through the window. Everyone ducks and hides as Knansie helpfully announces that Cyd has found her.
Still in his office, Mel gets a text from Maggie that they are being attacked. Harry grabs her and tries to apparate them to the MMManor, but uh, he accidentally apparates them to Manchester. See, this is what he needed to talk to them about: he’s having a lot of emotions lately, so his powers are broken. And they are in Manchester, because this is where his son is.
Cyd keeps attacking the MMManor with her energy balls, and I’m distraught by all the damage. It’s a lot of glass, y’all. Cyd walks in finally, and announces that Knansie ruined her family by turning her boyfriend into a demon. Knansie tells them not to believe Cyd! She’s telling the truth about not resurrecting her demon boyfriend. Cyd keeps attacking, and at first, all Macy can do is fling a few plates at her.
Mari: There’s an especially hilarious moments when one of Cyd’s energy balls causes the curtains to catch on fire and Macy has to run over to use the sink’s side sprayer to put it out. When Cyd threatens Maggie, though, Macy gets real mad and manages to telekinesis Cyd out of a window. Everyone is shocked by her display of powers. Knansie says that she can summon some magic chains so they can tie the witch up.
Meanwhile, in Manchester, Maggie tells Harry that the girls have things under control. They head into a pub and Harry tells Mel about his son being alive. And now his feelings are clouding his powers because his loyalties are divided. His powers won’t come back until he can prove he’s 100% committed to 3M. But since he can’t unknow his past, and since he doesn’t want to, he was actually going to tell the girls that he can’t be their Whitelighter. Mel understands.
Thais: I guess now we know that both versions of Charmed share at least one thing: the Elders never think their rules through enough. How hard would it have been to wait to make Harry a Whitelighter in a time where his son is no longer alive?
Mari: Immediately more thought that the Elders gave it. Immediately.
Mel doesn’t want to lose Harry, but they are also stuck in Manchester with no passports and no orbing powers, so maybe they’ll find his son! Harry thanks her, but also he has no idea how to find his son, or even, what his own name is.
At the MMManor, Knansie has Cyd chained up. Maggie is still not sold on trusting Knansie, and Macy is very awkward about the whole deal, eventually sending Maggie off to her frat party. (T: Wow, Maggie is cool with going to a frat party while someone is chained up in her house!) We see Cyd’s eyes flutter when the frat party is mentioned so we know that she knows. Once they are alone, Macy asks Knansie what they do now. Knansie is like “I know this is way harsh Tai, but I think we have to kill her.” Macy refuses to kill a fellow witch. She thinks maybe Harry can help. Knansie doesn’t want anything to do with Whitelighters, because they work for The Elders, but Macy promises to stand up for her.
Party. Maggie and Lucy dance together in green. Parker is in the background, wearing red. 🙁
Thais: Ugh, Parker. At least Cole had some sex appeal. And a better actor.
Mari: I also find Julian McMahon more attractive than Nick Hargrove, but I did some maths because I had a feeling that this was also part of getting older and sure enough, McMahon was 32 when Charmed started and Hargrove was 25 or 26. And kinda looks younger than that to me. McMahon looked like a man.
ANYWAY, Macy’s found a calming spell that should dissipate Cyd’s rage. Unfortunately, Cyd has managed to escape her magic chains.
Maggie is crying a bit in the bathroom, when a woman asks if she has a tampon. Maggie says yes, but then looks up to see Cyd behind her. She screams.
Mel and Harry walk around with not much luck, as nothing seems familiar to Harry. Mel is like “really???” and Harry is like “oh yeah, that church over there.” So, cool scene.
Thais: And IIRC, Manchester’s a big city in England. There’s no way they would stumble on the right church like this.
Mari: They figure the church has to have records. And with very little fuss, they manage to find the christening record for Harry’s son, Carter. (T: From many decades ago!!) Also, Mel gets a paper cut and Harry can’t heal it.
Knansie and Macy are trying to find Cyd in the MMManor, carrying hammers, when Macy gets a call from Maggie. She tells her sister that Cyd has her trapped in the bathroom. Cyd grabs the phone and tells Macy to bring the necromancer or Maggie dies.
Macy and Knansie arrive at the Stoplight party looking real out of place. Macy spots Parker and asks him where the bathroom is as Maggie is being held hostage by a vengeful witch. Parker leads the way, but the bathroom appears to be empty. Until Cyd shows up and points them to the last shower stall. Maggie is magically enchanted inside as the stall fills with magic water. Macy tries to break it with telekinesis, but it doesn’t work. Cyd triple enchanted it. And all she wants is to kill Knansie! Instead, Knansie tells Macy to be evil! Macy taps into her dark side and uses her telekinesis to stop blood flow to Cyd’s heart. Maggie yells for her not to do it, but Macy can’t stop, won’t stop. Cyd falls to her knees and begs for her life, letting Maggie go from the enchantment, but Macy keeps on trying to kill her. Parker tells Macy that he knows what it’s like to feel like you have to give into your dark side, but she doesn’t have to. Maggie put her hand on Macy and I almost always forget about her useless power, even though they say “empath” like 7 times an episode. She tells Macy not to kill Cyd. “She’s one of us.”
Knansie keeps trying to get Macy to go back into killing mode. Cyd wonders why Macy is protecting Knansie, when she uses demon blood to resurrect the dead, having made a pact with a demon herself for youth and long life. Cyd had to vanquish her boyfriend when he turned into a demon and attacked her. Knansie tries to make a run for it, but Parker tackles her. Knansie takes a whack at him with the hammer she’s still holding. Parker goes smokey, though, so the hammer doesn’t connect. Knansie freaks out because she just attacked a demon. Cyd is on hand, still sitting on the floor in an awkward position, to explain that attacking a demon has violated the terms of her demonic pact. (T: The only time Parker will ever be useful.) Knansie begs for her life, promising to make more demons, but she gets all smokey and is vanquished. Macy asks Cyd if she’s sure about that whole “everyone turns into a demon” thing. Cyd says she is. Uh oh.
Meanwhile, in Manchester, Mel and Harry have found Carter. He’s an old man and he’s outside, playing with his grandkids. Mel encourages Harry to go introduce himself as like a sixth cousin or something. Harry says he can’t worm his way into their lives under false pretenses, and he can’t tell them the truth. At least now he knows that Carter is happy and that he’s a great-grandfather. Carter doesn’t need him now, but the 3Ms do, and he just might need them too.
Thais: Well, that was a nice waste of time and an easy way for the writers to get plot-breaker Mel out of the scene while the other Ms nearly kill someone.
Mari: Yeah, if the girls were going to almost kill an innocent, Mel definitely had to be in England.
Carter looks over and sees his dad. Harry waves at him tentatively and Carter returns the wave. Harry sadly says that he thinks they can go home now. When Carter turns around, Harry and Mel are gone. Harry and Mel apparate on the MMManor porch. Mel hugs him, and he cries.
The next morning, Maggie and Mel bring Macy coffee and ask how she’s feeling. She says she’s surprisingly okay. At least she knows the truth about why Marisol couldn’t raise her and why she has darkness in her. She has demon blood. Maggie says that Parker has demon blood too, but he fights it. Macy says she’s felt how amazing it was to almost give in, though, and she wouldn’t have stopped had it not been for Maggie. Her sisters tell her she won’t give in, she’s a good person. Macy says she knows. And she knows that their mother did what she did out of selfless love, which has given her the strength to do what she needs to do next. Her sisters look Concerned.
Macy walks into her boss’s office, you know, Parker’s mom, and cuts to the chase: Parker’s Mom knows Macy’s a witch, Macy knows Parker is a demon, and Macy knows that Parker’s Mom is using witch DNA to find a demon cure. Macy offers to help with the demon cure, if they can use it on her first. Parker’s Mom smiles and tells Macy to have a seat.
Niko sits at the coffee shop. Mel sends her a text message from right outside and tells Niko not to worry about her or Jada because they are fine. Harry tells Mel she’s doing the right thing. Mel knows she is, but it still hurts. Niko opens her laptop where she has pictures of Mel and Jada up and is doing research on lightning scars.
Parker finds Maggie and says that he knows she hates him, but he wanted to check in on her. Maggie says she doesn’t hate him and it was cool the way he helped Macy the night before. Parker smiles and asks what that means for them. Maggie says it means she doesn’t hate him and that’s it, for now.
Mari: Lucy is video chatting someone, saying that her plan is on track because Maggie and Parker were totes talking and left the bathroom together at the party. The camera flips and we see she’s talking to Parker’s Dad. (I’ve forgotten all names.) Parker’s Dad tells Lucy, who seems to be under a sort of trance, to push harder and get Maggie and Parker back together again faster. Lucy says she will. When the call ends, Lucy seems to be back out of the trance and yells about someone stealing her zit cream.
Next time on Charmed: Mel uses no-no magic in S01 E13 – Manic Pixie Nightmare.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Brii works as a marketing manager in travel by day and consumes far too much pop culture by night. Self proclaimed lazy person and avid reader, she lives in Florida with her fiancé and an undisclosed number of cats.
