Previously: Geralt saves a monster princess.
Content Warnings: Violence, nudity, death of a child, and gore.
—
Of Banquets, Bastards and Burials
Marines: Creepy woods. Whispers are overlapping, calling to Ciri as she walks in a daze toward the Deep Creepy Woods, which are actually summery and green and bathed in light. Ciri is broken out of her daze when she hears a bird call and a twig snap. She looks all around, hearing more and more twigs snapping, until suddenly, she’s surrounded. These elven women all point their spears at Ciri and she begs them not to hurt her. In Elder, the woman in charge tells the others to hold their aim true. No mercy. Also, that’s what I’ll call this character.
Kirsti: I probably would have called her Lexa because her eye make up and general aesthetic is very reminiscent of the character from The 100, but I will bow to Mari’s superior knowledge of all things Witcher because the full extent of my knowledge before starting this show two days ago was “Henry Cavill has white hair and stabs things.” I think this is my first time being a Snow while recapping, and y’all should be real glad I wasn’t involved in recapping the last episode because I would have made so many jokes about Sam and Dean Winchester fighting a striga first. We now return to your regularly scheduled programme.
Mari: To be fair, I’ve never watched The 100 and The Witcher was first published and fighting strigas in 1993.
No Mercy approaches Ciri and motions for Ciri to follow. In Elder, she tells the others to kill her if she runs. I think maybe they walk for a while, but the next thing we see is Ciri grabbing No Mercy and asking where they are going, because she has to find Dara. No Mercy motions again and from behind a bunch of the elven women comes the real lady in charge, I assume. She also speaks English. (K: Convenient!) She asks Ciri her name, and Ciri lies and says it’s Fiona. Ciri asks where she is and Really In Charge says she’s in Brokilon Forest. Ciri seems to understand this is A Big Deal.
Title Card.
Snowy village. Inside a tavern, a man covered in YICK is swearing he saw some huge creature that was swallowing things whole, which is why they had to call in the White Wolf. Everyone around him is enraptured by his story of how the creature then also swallowed the Witcher whole, but the vibe is broken when Jaskier remarks how brilliant this is. He’s taking notes and apologizes for interrupting the story, but Geralt is usually stingy with the details. He asks the man what happened next. The man cries that the Witcher died. Jaskier is like “nah, he’s fine,” but the man swears. He was there!
K: Okay, I know one thing about The Witcher: I love Jaskier.
Ginny: Thank God for Jaskier because Geralt is stingy with the details and the sense of humor.
Mari: On cue, Geralt walks in, covered in YICK. The man asks what the stench is, and bro, weren’t you JUST telling the story of how he got swallowed whole? You know what that stench is. Geralt asks for his payment, and Jaskier immediately starts singing “Toss a Coin to Your Witcher.” The man literally tosses Gerald a coin baggy and the rest of the tavern joins in on the singing.
K: I do too, tbh.
Ginny: Jaskier is truly a great hype man.
Mari: Unbothered, or else very bothered and good at ignoring, Geralt and his YICK walk to the bar for a drink. Jaskier joins him there and gives him a “you’re welcome.” Jaskier rattles on about how Geralt has to repay this debt, but I’m watching as Geralt grabs his drink, and spits it immediately out. He glares at the barman, OFFENDED. You can barely see his face under all the YICK, but you can just tell he’s so upset the drink was bad. It’s really amazing.
Ginny: I mean he’s clearly just been through it, can he at least get a good pint?
Mari: It’s not too much to ask.
Jaskier is saying that he made Geralt famous, so he should be entitled to 10% of his coin, but instead he’s asking for a teeny, tiny little favor. Geralt tells him to fuck off. Jaskier talks up the gig, but Geralt walks away. When Jaskier realizes he’s gone, Jaskier dumbs it up: food, women and wine.
We cut to Jaskier bathing Geralt. I mean, he basically just dumps water on his head while Geralt is in the tub but…. ✨Jaskier bathing Geralt✨
K: I mean, probably! But also, I immediately start giggling because I just saw a Tiktok video yesterday where a guy pronounced chamomile as “ca-mo-mee-lay” and I cannot unhear it. But I digress. Back to the homoerotic subtext:
Mari: Jaskier tells Geralt that everyone who is anyone will be at this betrothal party. Jaskier is confident that the Lioness of Cintra herself will be super impressed with his performance. Geralt is more interested in cutting to the chase: who in attendance is trying to kill him? Jaskier says he’s lost count, so Geralt glares some more. Jaskier is unfazed, and in fact, approves of scary face for keeping away murderous lords.
Geralt picks up his drink, which Jaskier quickly confiscates, saying he shouldn’t be drunk tonight. Geralt says that on the contrary, he isn’t going to do tonight sober. And he isn’t going to kill anyone over petty squabbles like what royal pantry Jaskier put his sausage in. Jaskier calls Geralt out on the whole “I never get involved” thing seeing as how he always gets involved. Geralt glares. Some more.
Jaskier asks if this is what getting old does to a person, makes them all crotchety. Don’t Witchers ever retire? Geralt says sure they do, when they slow down and get killed. (K: Oh, cool, we’re back to the Supernatural comparisons!) Jaskier thinks Geralt must want something after all his monster hunting is done, but Geralt growls that he doesn’t want anything. He doesn’t want anyone. And the last thing he needs is someone needing him. Jaskier is basically like “welp. Here we are tho.” Geralt just gives a HMM. And then he notices that his clothes are missing. Jaskier reminds him that they were covered in guts, and anyway, he won’t be attending the fancy party as a Witcher.
Fancy Party. Geralt and Jaskier walk in, with Jaskier telling him to keep quiet so no one finds out who he is. On cue, a man screams out “Geralt of Rivia! The mighty Witcher!” So, that lasted negative one second. Geralt greets the yelling man, Mousesack, who we met back in episode one. In the future. Back in the future.
K: My brain hurts.
Ginny: Thank God for Mari because I feel like half the time I miss this stuff.
Mari: Listen, there is a fair amount of pause and rewind involved.
Mousesack is happy to see Geralt, mostly because he thinks he’ll liven up the party, which is hilarious. Men call out toasts to Mousesack as he walks and talks with Geralt, telling him that he’s been advising the Skelligen crown for years. Geralt is already over this and asks when the party will be over. (K: Introvert mood.) Mousesack says it will last all night with suitors vying for Princess Pavetta’s hand, as marrying into this monarchy and their might military force is quite the prize. Geralt HMMs and asks which one of this suitors Mousesack is banking on. Mousesack points out Crach an Craite of Skellige, saying that Calanthe has already arranged the marriage behind the scenes with Crach’s uncle, Eist Tuirseach. Who we also met in episode 1, and is future Calanthe’s future husband.
Ginny: I’m sure Geralt is thrilled that he’s basically watching the Bachelorette.
Mari: He already didn’t want to be here!
Mousesack explains that Calanthe has refused Eist’s proposals three times, despite them being in total love. Geralt sees someone approaching Jaskier. He grunts and walks off.
A short, older man confronts Jaskier as someone who looks familiar, like a man who he once caught fleeing his wife’s chambers. He didn’t get a good look at the man’s face, but would recognize the pimply ass anywhere. Jaskier is “saved” when Geralt comes over to explain that actually Jaskier was kicked in the balls by a ox as a child. Jaskier starts to protest, but ultimately goes along with the story. The accusing man apologizes and leaves Jaskier with some coin to drown his sorrows. Jaskier sarcastically thanks Geralt for the help. Geralt says his job here is done.
A horn blasts and the crier announces the entrance of Calanthe. She comes in muddy and bloody, swaggering about the battle she was just in, no big. She tells the suitors to prepare as her daughter wants to get this over with quickly, and so does she. Jaskier gets in place and starts singing something but Calanthe is like “ew, no. A JIG.”
K: There’s nothing worse than bummer music at a party, Jaskier. Get with the program.
Mari: Calanthe approaches the dais and roughly whispers to Pavetta that it will be over soon and to save her waterworks. She’s the daughter of the Lioness and she needs to behave like it. Pavetta says maybe she should kill starving serfs or elves then. Calanthe tells her to suck it up, as she could do worse than Crach. Pavetta says she could also do better. Calanthe tells her she can have whoever she wants after she’s married. She’ll be fine.
Ginny: I love Calanthe. Just putting that out there.
Mari: In the future, Pavetta’s daughter is still being lead through the magic woods. The queen of the Dryads, Eithné, asks Ciri some questions about where she came from and how she got to be in Brokilon Forest. Ciri hears Dara crying out and runs to where the dryads have him lain out, and are removing the arrow from his shoulder. The nurse dryad douses the wound with magic water. Eithné approaches to explain that the waters of Brokilon are magic and everyone who enters the forest must drink of them. If they have ill intent, they die. If they live, over time, the waters will help them forget their past and pain. Eithné has a feeling “Fiona” would like that. Either way though, she and Dara both will be required to drink.
K: This is all deeply fascinating, but I keep getting really distracted by how the forest set plus the lighting of the forest really reminds me of Fangorn Forest and now I keep expecting Gandalf to show up unexpectedly.
Ginny: I just want to get back to the Bachelorette Cintra.
Mari: Honestly, the Brokilon bits of this episode are very boring in comparison.
Party. Two men start fighting over whether one really did kill a manticore. Yes-Huh says yes, huh, he totally did. Nuh-Uh say nuh-uh, he totally didn’t, and if he did, how many stingers does a manticore have. Yes-Huh says two. Nuh-Uh says five. Meanwhile, a lady tells Calanthe that Geralt is in attendance. Calanthe calls off the fight and announces that they have an esteemed guest among them and maybe he can tell which of the lords is telling the truth. Geralt quickly says neither, but Jaskier gives him the smallest shake of the head and a pleading look. With a ton of effort, Geralt amends that maybe the lords encountered rare subspecies of manticore. Jaskier breathes a sigh of relief.
Calanthe just laughs. She asks the guests if they’d like to hear the tale of the elves Geralt killed at the edge of the world. Everyone is like “YEAH! DEATH! WOO!!” Geralt says there was no slaying. He got his ass kicked by the elves and then Filavandrel let him go. Everyone is like “booo, boring.” Plus this story is not like the song. Jaskier nervously chuckles like “yeah, lol, the song… ha ha…” Geralt says that at least when Filavandrel’s blade was at his throat, he didn’t shit himself, which is all he can wish for this lot: a shitless death. He doubts it though.
K: We all can but hope.
Mari: Calanthe thinks that any man willing to paint himself in the light of his failures will make for the best conversation at this party and invites him to sit by her side. Geralt gives an introvert’s “hm.”
Ginny: I would not want to sit next to 99% of the men at this feast.
Mari: Calanthe is the only good option, Geralt. Go with it.
Brokilon. Dara and Ciri are sitting together in a cave with the dryads. Dara asks why Eithné keeps calling her Fiona. Ciri says that she was raised by Mousesack who always warned her to never let anyone outside of the castle know who she really was. Dara is like “castle?” So Ciri does what she just said she should never do and tells Dara that she is Princess Cirila of Cintra. Dara is stunned, on account of her grandmother slaughtered his family after Filavandrel’s uprising. (K: Awwwwwkward.) Ciri says that isn’t true, she wouldn’t do that. (Though this calls back to Pavetta’s line about being like her mother by killing elves.) Dara tells her of Calanthe’s soldiers laughing as they murdered and raped and swung babies by their legs to smash their heads in. Dara is the only one who survived, because he hid when he should’ve been helping. Ciri doesn’t know what to say. Dara tells her not to say anything. He would give anything to forget. Ciri says she can’t. She has to find her destiny. Dara asks why. Because her grandmother told her to? Well, Calanthe is dead and Ciri should maybe think for herself.
Mari: Past, back at the party. Geralt is now on the dais as Calanthe complains about her dress and how she’d rather spend the night in armor. Geralt says him too. She asks how he found himself at The Bachelorette wearing whatever he’s wearing. Geralt explains about his bodyguard duty and Calanthe is like, “cool maybe you can help me too if some fighting breaks out.” Geralt is like “I’m no one’s bodyguard” even though he very much is. Calanthe says she could command it or she could torture him. Geralt just smiles and tells her to do whatever she wants because he’s not one of her subjects and he’s not for turning.
K: I got distracted throughout this scene by the amount of side eye that Pavetta is giving Geralt. (Check me out with the knowing character names!!!)
Mari: Very proud of you and very impressed with Pavetta. That side eye was a thing of beauty.
Prince Peregrine of Nilfgaard approaches to, I guess, propose to Pavetta. He says their marriage will join the jewels of the North and South. Plus, he’s one of five brothers and no sisters, meaning that his “potent seed” inside of Pavetta would surely produce an heir. Pavetta looks at her mother like OH MY GOD. (K: Same. Ew, bro.) Calanthe responds after a beat that Cintra is the jewel of the North, but that Nilfgaard is the shit rag of the south. Ooof. We saw Nilfgaard destroying Cintra in episode 1, so it’s hard not to cringe at this moment. The audience all laughs as Calanthe continues that Nilfgaardian kings don’t remain kings for long. Peregrine stomps away.
Ginny: No rose for you. NEXT.
Mari: Snowy woods, somewhere. Inside of a carriage, Yennifer is seated next to a young woman holding a baby. The woman knows what people must be saying about her. “Poor Queen Kalis, another girl.” Kalis knows she’s just a womb to the king meant to squeeze out heirs. Kalis asks Yennifer to stay in Lyria with her, but Yennifer must return to Aedirn after delivering Kalis to court. Kalis envies Yennifer’s role as King’s mage, but Yennifer’s face says “this is misery.” Kalis prods her to speak freely, so Yennifer says that she just loves that she traded everything to get her seat at court, thinking it would be worth it. Instead she’s spent the last three decades as a royal ass wiper, cleaning up political messes. Kalis still thinks she has it far worse and that Yen did the right thing giving “all that nonsense” up, seeing as how motherhood is boring.
K: Girl, you just cursed yourself.
Mari: Just then, a bloodied sword cuts through the front of the carriage. We hear men yelling outside and more and more swords stab the carriage. Yen looks outside to see a downright bloodbath as soldiers are slaughtered. When Yen and Kalis step out of the carriage, they are surrounded by dismembered bodies. Only one soldier remains alive, staring at the thing that did this: a mage assassin and his disgusting, chittering insect monster. I hate it.
K: Same. No thank you.
Mari: Yennifer yells at them to run. She opens a portal. They run into and end up somewhere in a desert. Kalis says that she’ll have the brigand’s head on a spike, but Yen explains that was no brigand. That was an assassin. It seems as if Kalis has run out of chances to produce a male heir. Kalis can’t believe the king would do such a thing, but the proof arrives as the assassin and roach hound appear again. They run, Yen opening a new portal as they go. The solder trips and falls behind and is promptly killed.
Yen and Kalis step into a town, rainy and muddy. Yen rips the necklace off Kalis and asks what else the king gave her? They are being traced. The assassin and roach hound appear again, chasing them through the town. Yen uses one hand to magically hold off the roach hound and with the other, she opens a new portal.
Ginny: I’m exhausted just watching this.
Mari: It’s also real sad. Every time they land somewhere new, Kalis lands on her knees, still holding the crying baby. This time, Kalis throws up. (K: Legit.) They are still being tracked, so Kalis takes off her hair comb and breaks it. Then she tells Yen to get up, calling her a useless witch. Like… excuse you. I was feeling bad for you for a moment ago. (K: Yeah, seriously. You don’t go insulting the person who keeps saving your life. WTF.) Yen glares at her and again, the assassin and roach hound appear. Yen is slow to get up, but she does. We see a portal opening, but then we realize that Yen went through it without Kalis.
Ginny: That’s cold but also Kalis is an ungrateful B.
Mari: Party. Jaskier is singing, people are dancing, and Calanthe is still unamused.
Ginny: Geralt, always the conversationalist.
Mari: Eist tells his nephew Crach that it’s his turn to propose. Before they can step up, there is a commotion as we see a knight take out a few guards and approach the dais, announcing that he’s Lord Urcheon of Erlenwald, come to claim Pavetta’s hand in marriage. Calanthe is pissed, especially since this nobody won’t even take off his helmet. (G: Never a good sign….) Urcheon apologizes and says that a knight’s oath prevents him from showing his face until the twelfth bell. Eist is like PFFT and just knocks the helmet off, revealing a human porcupine. (K: This is some X-Men type shit right here.) Calanthe tells Geralt to kill it and he refuses to, saying this is no monster, but a cursed knight. Calanthe orders her own soldiers to kill him, but Urcheon takes out the first one easily and yells that he’s here to claim what is his, Pavetta, by the Law of Surprise.
More soldiers pour in and Urcheon takes them on, fighting well, but getting quickly outnumbered until he is unarmed and taken down. We see a soldier reeling back in order to deliver a killing blow with an axe but before it lands, Geralt runs to protect Urcheon, slicing the axe and ultimately providing Urcheon with a new weapon.
Mari: This is Geralt not getting involved FYI.
Calanthe cries for her soldiers to kill them both (G: Well that’s rude!) and the Witcher theme music starts up as we get a real melee of a fight. Even the party guests are jumping in, but Eist sides with Geralt and Urcheon, saying that the Law of Surprise has been called. If anyone wants to kill them, they have to kill Eist too.
Calanthe has had enough and grabs a sword from one of her own soldiers. We cut to Geralt and when he finishes one opponent and whirls around, Calanthe is there, sword crossing with his own. She tells him to stop. And then louder, she commands everyone to stop.
Kalis tells the assassin that she can totally give the king a male heir. (G: Dude is not going to care, but nice try.) She puts her baby on the ground, telling the assassin to take the baby as a sacrifice. Woooow, remember when I felt for her clutching at her baby and puking and stuff. Wow. The assassin just magics a blade to cut Kalis’s throat. The roach hound heads over to kill the baby, but Yen portals back in and chops its head off. Yen uses some magic smoke to hold off the assassin long enough to open a new portal. She grabs the baby and runs in, but the assassin magics a blade after her and we see it hit its mark as Yen enters the portal.
She lands in an ocean. She swims to shore with the baby only to find that she is dead. Yen tries to magic her back to life, but it doesn’t work. Yen cries.
K: Welp.
Mari: Not Such a Party Anymore. Pavetta runs to Urcheon, who she calls Duny, and hugs him. Geralt and Calanthe both look at this like “say wuuuh?” Duny lays down his axe and explains that he is indeed cursed. One day he saved Calanthe’s late husband from certain death and claimed the Law of Surprise as a payment– whatever windfall Roegner found when he got home would belong to Duny. Geralt realizes that Calanthe knew all about this and that’s why she was trying to push Geralt to kill for her. Calanthe yells at Pavetta for carousing with the creature who swindled her father. Eist says it isn’t a swindle, but a form of payment as old as mankind. Calanthe doesn’t want to be lectured, but the exposition needs to happen, so Eist continues: the Law of Surprise stipulates that whatever the person gets home to becomes payment. It could’ve been a bumper crop or a newborn puppy or… a child of surprise. Roegner had no way of knowing, so destiny determined that Pavetta be the surprise.
K: Not gonna lie, that’s a weird thing to demand as payment. What if the person gets home to find a huge tax bill? Or that their dog has eaten the full contents of the kitchen and shat all over the place? No one wants a house full of shit as a reward.
Mari: Before we accuse Duny of being a child groomer, he swears that when he heard about the baby, he didn’t mean to claim his payment. Mostly because he’s a porcupine, you know? But he did lightly stalk Pavetta from afar until “destiny intervened” and they met and they fell in love. Calanthe’s wince and look of disgust is a thing of beauty.
K: Unsure if less ick than imprinting.
Ginny: Wonder how that first conversation went…
Mari: Don’t make me compare icks this way.
Eist and Mousesack tell Calanthe that they have to honor the debt and give into destiny, but she’s still mad and won’t do it. She asks if there is any man present who doesn’t cower before destiny. She asks Geralt if he does. Geralt says no. Destiny is used to make believe there is an order to life, when there isn’t. But a promise made must be a promise kept, and that is as true for a commoner as it is for a queen. Pavetta announces that she loves Duny and intends to marry him. Calanthe looks defeated and hands her sword to Eist. She extends her hand out to Duny who takes it. Calanthe whispers in his ear, “here is your destiny.” And then she pulls another blade from her side and moves to stab Duny.
Pavetta yells “no!” and suddenly, a magical blast sends everyone flying away from Pavetta and Duny. They are surrounded by a Magical Indoor Wind as Pavetta speaks in Elder, causing them to levitate. Everyone is freaking out, but Pavetta is just chanting and hovering, loving on her porcupine.
Ginny: Ok I need to hear more about your 18th birthday party!
Mari: Geralt battles the Magical Indoor Wind to get closer to Pavetta, but it’s too strong. He pulls out some of his Witcher herbs and drinks them. Hopped up on herbs, Geralt is able to penetrate her wind bubble. He uses Aard to blast her out of the air and everything stops. Everyone is all windblown and gray and sad. Worst party ever. Eist asks Calanthe if she believes in destiny now. She stands and approaches Pavetta and Duny. She hugs Pavetta and says she thought that her grandmother’s gift had skipped her, as it skipped Calanthe. She was wrong about so many things.
Calanthe announces that destiny has spoken, she has listened, and the Law of Surprise will be honored. Took you long enough, my guy. Eist adds that if anyone reacts poorly, they will also have to answer to the sea hounds of Skellige, as Calanthe has accepted his marriage proposal. Pavetta stands next to her mother and Duny next to her as Calanthe says there will be two vows exchanged here tonight and she assumes everyone is agreeable to that. We see men bow. “Delightful,” she says, standing in the mostly dark, surrounded by debris.
K: Who doesn’t love an unexpected couple of weddings, one where the woman literally didn’t accept the proposal and one involving a porcupine man!
Ginny: It’s a shame all the feast food got blown away.
Mari: Maybe they can salvage some.
Screaming transitions us to Ciri who is washed entirely in red light. She hears all the sounds of the sacking of Cintra, reliving the night in flashes. She wakes from the nightmare in Brokilon to see that Dara is drinking that good, good forgetting water. Eithné tells her it’s her turn next, and passes the forgetting water. Ciri takes a swig, waits a moment, but nothing happens. She asks why and Eithné tells her that Shan-Kayan is calling to her. I hope Shan-Kayan is something that can give them a refund on that faulty forgetting water.
Yennifer is sitting on the beach still, looking at the ocean. Yen tells the dead baby that she’s sorry she didn’t have a life, but she wouldn’t be missing much. What would the baby have had? Parents that both tried to kill her? Friends? Most likely fair weather. Lovers? Fun for a bit but eventually disappoint. And she was a girl, just a vessel for everyone to take and take until they are empty and alone. Yen tells the baby that she’s cheated the game and won without even knowing it. She buries the baby in the sand and tells her to sleep well.
Ginny: Dang, this is bleak Yen.
Mari: Definitely had the worse day of the episode, and that’s saying a lot.
At the dirtiest wedding ever, Calanthe marries Pavetta and Duny. They kiss and Duny starts gasping and groaning, but he turns back into a human, the curse broken, after his destiny has been fulfilled. Geralt has had enough of this, and tells Jaskier to watch himself, before walking off. Duny stops him, saying he wants to repay the Witcher for saving his life. Geralt begs off, but Duny insists. Geralt is like “fine, I’ll claim the Law of Surprise as you have.” Calanthe is like GERALT. WHAT. And I agree. DID YOU NOT JUST LIVE THIS EPISODE? Geralt is real chill like “don’t worry, I won’t be back to claim my crops or puppy or whatever.” And on cue, Pavetta throws up. Because uh… surprise! She’s already pregnant with Ciri. Geralt goes “fuck,” and just walks away.
Ginny: What a party!
Mari: Mousesack follows Geralt and tells him that he’s going to stay and guide Pavetta with her immense primal power. He thinks Geralt should stay, because he’s wrapped up in this now too. Geralt says no thanks, so Mousesack says the word destiny for the approximate ten thousandth time this episode to tell Geralt that he can’t run from his, just because he’s scared. It’s coming for him, whether or not he believes it. The bond that will exist between him and the child of surprise will be powerful and if he leaves without claiming it, he will unleash calamity on them all. Geralt is willing to take that chance, but leaves Mousesack with words to watch himself and be careful.
We see Cintra from afar as it was, and then the flag of Nilfgaard waves over it and we see it on fire as it was after the invasion. A soldier finds Calanthe’s body and shouts to alert the others. We see someone cut out a square of Calanthe’s skin and then eat it. (K: Ew no thank you.) Fringilla is on hand to cut his guts out and then reads them to divine that Ciri is in Brokilon forest. This poses a big problem for Nilfgaard. We see that Mousesack has been captured alive by the Nilfgaardians.
Ginny: RIP Calanthe. You sure knew how to throw a party.
Mari: Eithné takes Ciri to Shan-Kayan, which is a big tree and the source of forgetting water. (K: NGL, it looks like shower gel.) Ciri drinks from it and we see her face glow with light. She’s suddenly thrown into a vision where she is in a desert. In the middle is a magic tree that asks her “what are you, child?”
Is the answer “destiny?” That’s my guess.
Ginny: The daughter of a porcupine man?
K: I’m just secretly hoping the tree is an Ent.
Next time on The Witcher: Yennifer looks for a way to have children in S01 E05 – Bottled Appetites.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a legal assistant in Boston who loves reading, snarking, cats and french fries. Oh let's not forget naps - naps are good. I blog about my life and whatever else I feel like blogging about. It's the melting pot of blogs.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
