I’ve already read this book, and it annoyed me so much I was like, okay, I’ll roast it.
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Marines: This book is absolutely taking over bookish communities right now. I read it in good faith because I heard good reviews even before it was published. I hated it. It is, in fact, so bad that it can be snarked, chapter by chapter. Hello, welcome.
Of course, I recruited two friends to join me. Say hello, Di and Mix!
Di: Hello! My name’s Di. I mainly read Fourth Wing because I was exposed to the Pern books at a formative age, and it left me with a lifelong appreciation of dragons. While I can say that I enjoyed the dragons the most in Fourth Wing, that’s really not saying much because nothing about the dragons in this book makes any sense when you think about it.
Mix: Hello friends! I’m Mix, and I consider romantasy or fantasy romance one of my main genres, so I spent 17 real Canadian dollars on the ebook of Fourth Wing, hoping for the best, and well, here we are. I didn’t have fun reading it (despite being on cold meds at the time), but I’m getting my 17 dollars out of roasting it, which is its own kind of fun.
Mari: At least there’s that.
Alright, here we go:
Each chapter opens with an epigraph that references some fictional work contained in this world. Chapter one starts with a quote from The Dragon Rider’s Codex: “A dragon without its rider is a tragedy. A rider without their dragon is dead.”
Gosh, I bet that means that everyone involved in this story will be really careful with their lives, huh?
Di: I desperately need authors to stop trying to emulate Suzanne Collins and THG. It just doesn’t end well for them.
Mari: It’s Conscription Day, which our main character (Violet) tells us is always the deadliest day.
Violet grabs her heavy rucksack and starts heading upstairs to her mother’s office. Her lungs are burning by the time she gets up there, and she tells us that this is what six months of physical training have given her— “the ability to barely climb six flights of stairs with a thirty-pound pack.”
Mix: If you’re thinking to yourself, how did this happen? What was her training like? What did she train for in six months? Where did she train? What did she learn? Too bad, this is the last we’ll hear of it in this book.
Mari: I’d at least be trying to get my money back from my trainer if I were Violet.
Violet tells us she’s most certainly fucked. There are thousands of 20-year-olds, the smartest and strongest in Navarre, who are waiting to enter their “chosen” quadrant because, despite being conscripted into this army, you can choose your specific quadrant.
Hundreds of those thousands of new recruits are destined for the Riders Quadrant, for which they have been training since birth. Violet has only had six months to train. As Violet passes the guards in the hall who “avoid my eyes as I pass,” it strikes me that this is the equivalent of the opening scenes in Twilight where Bella kind of sad-complains about everything. Like how Forks is too green, too alien. In the movies, isn’t she just carrying a plant around, sadly?
To be fair, Violet is actually facing certain death, but the “even the guards won’t look at me” is a BIT much.
Anyway, the point is that Violet is leaving New Mexico her home to go to rainy Forks War College.
Violet tells us that everyone can choose to be either a healer, a scribe, an infantryman, or a rider. (Honestly, I didn’t even clock on my first read that they had an infantry because of how things progress, but we’ll get there.) War College lasts three years as they are trained to protect their borders from invasion attempts from the neighboring kingdom of Poromiel and their gryphon riders. In case you are wondering, no, we aren’t doing anything right now. Violet is just telling us all of this. Like, is she still in the hallway trying to catch the eyes of the guards who are ignoring her? Maybe!
Exposition over, Violet hears someone yelling in her mom’s office and recognizes the voice right away: her sister Mira. Mira is yelling about how Violet is totally going to die.
Meanwhile, Violet pushes into the office, and her 30-pound book bag unbalances her so that she trips inside.
Wait, actually, no, I have a better one:
I have a feeling we are going to be playing A LOT of the “name the thing this reminds you of” game.
Mix: Maybe one day we’ll have a good Violet clumsy gif!
Di: Mix, please don’t speak that potential evil into existence.
Mari: This would make an amazing terrible CW show is all I’ll add.
Mira is all like, “SEE? She is TOTALLY NOT READY.” Violet says she’s fine, but she’s mortified that her sister has been back for a few minutes and is already trying to save her. Violet thinks about how she doesn’t want to go to the Riders Quadrant. She would’ve been better off failing the admission test to War College and getting conscripted straight to the army. Is that, like… different from the infantry? So, if you pass the war test, you can go into the infantry quadrant, but if you fail the test, you just go straight to the army? Also, wouldn’t the test provide some way to determine what quadrant all these people would be best suited for? I’m no war girlie, so someone else might have to explain if any of this makes sense, but I don’t think so.
Mix: I’ve never thought so hard about the logistics of war and armies as I have during this book because this military makes no logical sense. I wish we had met someone in the infantry in this book because I would love to know how they feel about their situation.
Di: The only thing I can think of is that she was trying to go for something similar to West Point or another military academy that trains officers? But it also makes no sense that you would conscript officers instead. Then again, nothing about this book makes any sense.
Mari: Mira tells her mother (again) that she can’t send Violet off to the Riders Quadrant. Their mom is like too bad, so sad because she most certainly is going to send her youngest child to almost certain death with no explanation. And I’m going to tell you right now that we never get an explanation as to why her mother is pretty jazzed about signing her daughter up for almost certain death, even though I personally think that is pretty foundational to making this story work and not something to be revealed however many books from now. But fine, whatever. Violet HAS TO go to the Riders Quadrant BECAUSE HER MOMMY SAID SO.
Di: This was when I knew that there was no way Violet was as smart as the book tries to tell you she is because there’s no good explanation for her not wondering if her mom was actively trying to kill her.
Mari: Through some unnatural dialogue, we learn that Mira is a lieutenant in the army and that this family’s last name is Sorrengail. SOAR AND GALE for the dragon riders. Amazing. Very good and subtle, like a loving hammer to the face.
I’m gonna quote this entire section so you get a good feel for the unnatural exposition.
““It’s already done.” Mom shrugs, the lines of her fitted black uniform rising and falling with the motion.
I scoff. So much for the hope of a reprieve. Not that I ever should have expected, or even hoped for, an ounce of mercy from a woman who’s been made famous for her lack of it.
“Then undo it,” Mira seethes. “She’s spent her whole life training to become a scribe. She wasn’t raised to be a rider.”
“Well, she certainly isn’t you, is she, Lieutenant Sorrengail?” Mom braces her hands on the immaculate surface of her desk and leans in slightly as she stands, looking us over with narrowed, appraising eyes that mirror the dragons’ carved into the furniture’s massive legs.
I don’t need the prohibited power of mind reading to know exactly what she sees.
At twenty-six years old, Mira’s a younger version of our mother.”
“I don’t need the prohibited power of mind reading” is my second favorite bad line there. First goes to Violet thinking “at twenty-six years old” about her own sister, very casually, in her internal monologue.
Mix: “I don’t need the prohibited power of mind reading” is when I knew this book was going to get fun but not in a good way.
Mari: Mira is tall, strong, and has her hair cropped short. This, of course, allows Violet to tell us she’s just so different. She’s short, frail, and “what curves I do have should be muscle.” That makes no sense, but okay. She also says that her “traitorous body” makes her “embarrassingly vulnerable.” I’ll let you know here that Violet is disabled. Her disability is never named in this world, but the author has Ehlers-Danlos, and the description of Violet’s disability is very similar. So, yes, this is how Violet thinks about her own disabled body.
Violet’s mom walks over to her to be even more mean but also to continue this very useful description of our main character.
“Mom walks toward us, her polished black boots gleaming in the mage lights that flicker from the sconces. She picks up the end of my long braid, scoffs at the section just above my shoulders where the brown strands start to lose their warmth of color and slowly fade to a steely, metallic silver by the ends, and then drops it. “Pale skin, pale eyes, pale hair.” Her gaze siphons every ounce of my confidence down to the marrow in my bones. “It’s like that fever stole all your coloring along with your strength.” Grief flashes through her eyes and her brows furrow. “I told him not to keep you in that library.”
Ehlers-Danlos is genetic, so I’m not sure what we’re supposed to believe regarding this line about the fever “stealing her strength.” But at least we know she has pale skin, pale eyes, and pale hair!
Violet explains that this isn’t the first time she’s heard her mother curse the sickness that almost killed her when she was pregnant with Violet or the library where her father worked as a scribe. Her parents were stationed at War College, and Mean Mom worked as an instructor. Violet says she loves the library and then thinks about how, even a year after her father died from heart failure, the Archives are still the only place that feels like home to her.
Mean Mom shows a flicker of emotion for one hot second but then moves on to talking about how Scribes drool, and Riders rule, and no daughter of hers is going to be a Scribe. If Violet tries to enter the Scribe Quadrant today instead of the Riders Quadrant, Mean Mom will “rip [her] out by that ridiculous braid and put [her] on the parapet myself.”
“”Sending Violet into the Riders Quadrant is tantamount to a death sentence.” Guess Mira isn’t done arguing. Mira’s never done arguing with Mom, and the frustrating thing about it is that Mom has always respected her for it. Double standard for the win.”
Okay, this is where I admit that I started this recap several months ago, back when I merely just hated this book and thought it was bad. Lots has happened since then, including me declaring that Rebecca Yarros is my newest literary nemesis. Listen, it’s for a lot of reasons, but one of those reasons is that I deeply dislike the way she talks about her own book.
Take, for example, this video in which she responds to criticism of what she calls the “modern vernacular” in her high fantasy. She claims that she wrote Fourth Wing to bring people who don’t read fantasy into fantasy because you have to have the capability to go through “dynamic world-building” and “older language” to understand fantasy, and that can be daunting. First, it’s amazing to me that she insinuates that her book doesn’t have dynamic world-building (which is true). Second, it is so uninformed to imply that ALL FANTASY has “older language.” This feels like a take on fantasy from someone who has never read or rarely reads fantasy. Third, there is a difference between using accessible language and modern idioms that create anachronisms.
You are telling me that in this world where people are still like, “The fever gave my daughter a genetic disorder” or whatever, and where so far the vibes have been all stone towers and mentions of dragons, FOR THE WIN is a thing people say??? FROM THE GAME SHOW HOLLYWOOD SQUARES? POPULAR MILLENNIAL INTERNET SPEAK? I can’t cope.
Di: Take a drink every time Yarros uses for the win.
Mari: That helps.
Mix: As someone who’s been reading the romantic fantasy, fantasy romance, and cozy romance genre for a long time, Yarros speaking authoritatively on a genre she clearly doesn’t read critically made me want to throw my phone across the room. I get it, guys, I also have a very hard time with classic high fantasy, but fantasy is not a new genre, and you can’t ignore the last 20 years of accessible fantasy writing! I can’t believe I’m saying this because I hate defending Sarah J Maas, but this is Sarah J Maas’s erasure! You know, the person who’s been at the top of popular book awards every year recently?
Di: Hearing her talk about language and how she’s acting like she’s a game-changer really isn’t doing anything to dissuade me that this entire book was reverse-engineered to fit what BookTok hypes up. While there are definite Dragonriders of Pern influences (especially once we get to the ~spicy scenes), so much of this reads like someone attempting to emulate a genre she’s not familiar with.
Mari: Like I said, newest literary nemesis.
Mira keeps arguing that Violet has already broken her arm this year, she sprains some joint every other week, and she isn’t tall enough to mount any dragon big enough to keep her alive in battle. I’m no war girlie, but isn’t this like stuff the War College would screen for? Must be this tall to ride a battle dragon? No?
Mix: Once again, everything about the next few chapters/rest of the book is going to make you wonder what was on this assessment to get into the dragon school. Because it isn’t dragon knowledge or a dragon physical. Maybe it was just one question: “How much do you value your own life?” with a slider, and you have to be on the wrong side of “some?”
Mari: Amazing.
Violet takes offense to Mira’s chosen defense of her. Back when I originally reviewed this book on my YouTube, I made a joke about how the drinking game could be when Violet’s scalp prickles (we’ll get there) or when you think to yourself “that’s convenient!” Those are good, I might keep those. Di added “for the win,” but I’d like to propose that we drink every time Yarros does the (also very elder millennial) thing of punctuating between each word for emphasis.
Di: At this point, I think we should just add the rules to this drinking game to each recap. Being tipsy definitely helped me get through this the first time around.
Mari: This definitely requires a fortifying beverage or many.
Mira says that she’s not calling Violet weak, just fragile. Violet doesn’t think that’s any better.
Mean Mom says Violet is small, which Violet thinks is a criticism, but Mean Mom clarifies that it’s not a fault. I guess, except in a situation where you have to be this high to ride a battle dragon, but we’ll just overlook that.
Mean Mom tells Mira that Violet deals with more pain before lunch than Mira does in an entire week. Violet is shocked because that almost sounded like a compliment. Mira asks if Mean Mom is so eager to lose another child.
“I cringe as the temperature in the room plummets, courtesy of Mom’s storm-wielding signet power she channels through her dragon, Aimsir.”
In case you missed it in this really subtle exposition, Mean Mom has a storm-wielding power, which she channels through her dragon. Her dragon’s name is Aimsir.
Mix: We have a lot of bad characters in this book, but I think Violet’s Mom is my least favourite only because she does a lot of things to advance the plot (like sending her kid to murder college), and we are not given any information that makes sense of her decisions. She’s less a character and more a bunch of plot points in a uniform.
Also, I want to call Yarros out here for using millennial language to make this fantasy accessible but then using Gaelic/Welsh names for all the dragons that are hard to remember and pronounce for most English speakers.
Mari: Mean Mom dropped the temp in the room because Mira mentioned their dead brother, Brennan, who died fighting a rebellion in the south. Apparently, Mean Mom only really loved this one child, and Dead Dad’s heart problems started after Brennan died. Mean Mom kicks Mira out of the office.
Alone, Mean Mom tells Violet that she scored in the top quarter for speed and agility, so she’ll do just fine. So they do test their speed and agility, but then everyone just gets to choose their own quadrant? And it doesn’t matter how tall you are? Yeah, okay.
Mean Mom shows another flicker of an emotion but then squashes that too. Mean Mom says she won’t be able to acknowledge Violet while she’s a cadet. General Mean Mom also won’t give Vi preferential treatment. All that meanness out of the way, Mean Mom wishes Violet good luck.
Mira is waiting for Violet outside the office. Together, they walk to Violet’s room, which has already been packed up into boxes. Mira starts unpacking Violet’s bag. When Violet asks what Mira’s doing, Mira says she’s doing what Brennan did for her. As she works, Mira asks if Violet can use a sword. Violet cannot, as it’s too heavy, but she’s pretty good with knives.
Mira starts taking books out of Violet’s backpack and gives her a uniform and rubber-soled boots to wear. All the candidates will have to cross an 18-inch parapet two hundred feet off the ground to qualify for the Riders Quadrant. All of that, plus Mira saw rain clouds moving in, which will, of course, make things more precarious. And yet, for some reason, Violet’s brilliant plan was to cross with a backpack full of books. She just said she can’t even use a sword because it’s too heavy, and she was like, “I know, I’ll carry many books across a death balance beam, and it will be great.”
Di: I don’t think this ever gets addressed, but where are these books coming from? Does Navarre have access to a printing press that mass produces books, or at least makes them easier to make? Or is she trying to take multiple hand-produced books with her? How literate is the general population? This is going to bug me so much.
Mari: Violet lets Mira unpack her books but wants to keep one that her father gave her.
“Dad gave this one to me,” I murmur, pressing the book against my chest. Maybe it’s childish, just a collection of stories that warn us against the lure of magic, and even demonize dragons, but it’s all I have left.
She sighs. “Is it that old book of folklore about dark-wielding vermin and their wyvern? Haven’t you read it a thousand times already?”
“Probably more,” I admit. “And they’re venin, not vermin.”
“Dad and his allegories,” she says. “Just don’t try to channel power without being a bonded rider and red-eyed monsters won’t hide under your bed, waiting to snatch you away on their two-legged dragons to join their dark army.”
Wow, god, I didn’t even notice that very useful information there! It was like the gentle kiss of an anvil to the face.
Mix: I feel like I can see Yarro’s editor here. “Did you mean vermin?”
Mari: Noooo, it’s venin…!
Mira says that some of the clothes she’s given Violet are made of dragon scale from her own dragon. With an eyebrow waggle, Mira explains that one of the riders she knows has a power that can make big things (like dragon scales) small and small things (like dicks, I guess) bigger.
“She laughs, then tugs on my braid. “Head forward. You should have cut your hair.” She pulls the strands tight against my head and resumes weaving. “It’s a liability in sparring and in battle, not to mention being a giant target. No one else has hair that fades out to silver like this, and they’ll already be aiming for you.”
“You know very well the natural pigment seems to gradually abandon it no matter the length.”
This is EXACTLY how I talk to my sister! I just say things she knows back to her out loud all the time. It’s very fun and very sisterly.
“My eyes are just as indecisive, a light hazel of varying blues and ambers that never seems to favor either actual color. “Besides, other than everyone else’s concern for the shade, my hair is the only thing about me that’s perfectly healthy. Cutting it would feel like I’m punishing my body for finally doing something well, and it’s not like I feel the need to hide who I am.”
“You’re not.” Mira yanks on my braid, pulling my head back, and our eyes lock. “You’re the smartest woman I know. Don’t forget that. Your brain is your best weapon. Outsmart them, Violet. Do you hear me?”
You know what would really be punishing to your body? If someone grabs you by the hair during sparring or in battle. But what do I know? I would’ve cut my hair, like all the other girls 😔
Mix: Mira: It would be smart to cut your hair so that people can’t grab onto it; you’re already disadvantaged.
Violet: No, I like my hair.
Mira: You’re the smartest woman I know.
This hair-cutting thing is such a trope in YA, and as someone who has kept their hair short and spends a lot of money to keep it short, I’ve always had a hard time relating.
Mari: Also, maybe we can add “Violet is smart” to the drinking game, too? We couldn’t add “Violet is actually really stupid” to the drinking game because I think it would poison you all, and I love you, and I want you to live.
Mix: I don’t have enough alcohol in my house for the latter!
Di: This is why you have rules that are “sip if…”
Mari: Mira tells Violet to observe everything and keep quiet. She asks if Violet read the Codex, and Violet says she has. It’s shorter than the Codex of the other quadrants, maybe because Riders “have trouble following rules.”
Is that… is that what you would want for your elite military unit? A bunch of people bad at following rules? I wouldn’t know, as I’m no war girlie, but it sounds wrong.
Di: This is something that bugs me so much! You’re giving these people giant firebreathing killing machines! You would think maintaining some sort of discipline would be important, but nope! Everything is fake, and nothing makes sense.
Mari: Mira also explains that the cadets can just kill each other “at any time.” Fewer cadets mean better odds at Threshing because there aren’t enough dragons to bond with every cadet. And so, the cadets just go around killing each other at war college??? And the people who run war college are like, “Ah yes, our strongest and best and brightest young people, please do kill each other. It’s fine! We definitely do not need our strongest, best, and brightest young people for anything else!” What a reasonable way to train people, by killing them!
Di: This makes no sense from a unit cohesion point of view. There’s nothing to stop people from randomly trying to keep killing people once they have dragons or are out of college. You don’t turn that shit off like a switch.
Mari: Violet says that the uniform and daggers Mira gave her are supposed to be earned. Mira tells her that she’s a Sorrengail and fuck what people say.
Mix: Mira: Keep your head down, and stay quiet. Also, here are some distinct and visual advantages that will make you stand out.
I love how much this book contradicts itself within a couple of paragraphs.
Mari: Now that we are done expositing about Murder College, Mira walks Violet down to the entrance. She hugs her and asks her not to die. They walk on toward the Riders Quadrant, and Mira tells Violet to find Dain Aetos once she’s in. Violet thinks about how much she’s missed Dain, their friendship, and the way they could’ve been more than friends under the right circumstances.
“”I’ve only been out of the quadrant for three years, but from what I hear, he’s doing well, and he’ll keep you safe. Don’t smile like that,” Mira chides. “He’ll be a second-year.” She shakes her finger at me. “Don’t mess around with second-years. If you want to get laid, and you should”—she lifts her brows—“often, considering you never know what the day brings, then screw around in your own year. Nothing is worse than cadets gossiping that you’ve slept your way to safety.””
1— What does “I’ve only been out of the quadrant for three years” have to do with knowing that Dain is doing well? Particularly since Dain is a second year? It feels like this was trying to get at something like, “Even though I’ve been out of the quadrant, I still hear things.” But that’s not what she said.
Mix: Not to nitpick (yes, to absolutely nitpick), but “I’ve only been out of the quadrant for three years, but from what I hear…” implies she would know more if she had been out of the quadrant longer? Just a very confusing sentence overall.
2— You just finished telling her about how cadets are going to try and murder her all over the place, Mira. I’m pretty sure there are a lot of things worse than GOSSIP.
3— What happened to fuck what people say about whether or not she’s earned things??? You literally just said that ONE PAGE AGO.
Once we are beyond the entrance gates, Violet tells us that some people volunteer for service, some are sentenced to service as punishment, and some are conscripted. Huh. And you all just show up on “Conscription Day?” Okay.
Apparently, though, everyone has to pass an entrance exam even if they are punished to be in the military? Couldn’t you just… fail the exam? Violet insinuates that if you fail, you end up as fodder for the infantry. Is that the Infantry Quadrant or the Army? And why wouldn’t you just punish people to the infantry in the first place?
Di: I feel like Yarros is trying to build up a critique of drafts, but that’s also giving her too much credit.
Mari: My philosophy is going to be to give her as little credit as possible on this, my second read of this book.
Violet gets in line at the Riders Quadrant, and Mira tells her not to look down and not to let the wind sway her. Very good advice, thanks, Mira.
Mira also tells her not to make friends but to forge alliances. Very conveniently, Violet just looks at the two people in front of her— a Black woman with her hair in short braids and a blond man who is saying tearful goodbyes to a woman. Gosh, those two people look awful friend-shaped, don’t you think?
Violet spots another person, and this one is branded as a child of a separatist. After a failed rebellion, someone named General Melgren and his dragon executed all the rebels and branded their children. A very cool, chill thing for the totally good and not-at-all-bad guys in this story to do.
“I just remembered.” Her voice drops, and I lean in, my heart jumping at the urgency in her tone. “Stay the hell away from Xaden Riorson.”
The air rushes from my lungs. That name…
“That Xaden Riorson,” she confirms, fear lacing her gaze. “He’s a third-year, and he will kill you the second he finds out who you are.”
“His father was the Great Betrayer. He led the rebellion,” I say quietly. “What is Xaden doing here?”
“All the children of the leaders were conscripted as punishment for their parents’ crimes,” Mira whispers as we shuffle sideways, moving with the line. “Mom told me they never expected Riorson to make it past the parapet. Then they figured a cadet would kill him, but once his dragon chose him…” She shakes her head. “Well, there’s nothing much that can be done then. He’s risen to the rank of wingleader.”
Deep sigh.
1— Totally very chill conversation between the two sisters. Very subtle, like the sweet caress of a semi-truck to the body.
2— “His father was the Great Betrayer. He led the rebellion” is definitely the thing you would say to the person who is telling YOU about someone.
3— Violet, super smart scribe lady, who has been LIVING AT THE COLLEGE FOR YEARS, doesn’t know that children of the rebellion were conscripted?
Di: Look, I get if Yarros wanted to play up Violet being oblivious to anything but books, but this is stretching it.
Mari: 4— The air rushed from her lungs at his name, his name that starts with an X. If you are already smelling “love interest” here, you are very good at books.
5— What the hell kind of plan is it to get the children of the rebels you EXECUTED into the ELITE MILITARY UNIT, just kind of hoping that they’ll die, but if they don’t THEY GET ACCESS TO THIS MILITARY’S GREATEST WEAPON? DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO ANYONE?
Mix: Not to mention they straight up put the kid of the worst of the rebels into leadership. I can’t think of a single reason for Xaden or any of the rebels to be in leadership beyond thinking it was kind of hot for a cadet to have an inappropriate relationship with a superior. At no point was Violet’s Mom was like, “This seems like a bad idea,” which is how you know she’s only plot points, not a person.
Mari: Thankfully, we are at least blessed with another chance to drink.
Mira again tells Violet not to die before leaving.
Violet starts climbing the steps up to the parapet. The friend-shaped man and woman from earlier are there, and they chit-chat. Violet knows exactly how many steps they have to climb and how many people died on the steps last year on Conscription Day, but she didn’t know that some children of the rebellion were conscripted. Okay.
The woman introduces herself as Rhiannon Matthias, and the blond guy says he’s Dylan. She smiles at them and thinks about how she’s ignoring Mira’s suggestion to avoid friendships and only make alliances. First of all, all you did was smile at them, calm down. Second of all, I am so shocked that the people you looked at when Mira was talking about friends are going to be your first friends. Who could’ve seen that coming?
Dylan and Rhiannon are both very excited for Murder College. Dylan’s parents wanted him to be a healer, but being a Rider comes with better pay, fewer rules, and you get to marry sooner. Violet thinks it has to do with continuing bloodlines since most successful riders come from legacy families, but Rhiannon thinks it’s because riders die sooner. “I’m not going to die,” Dylan says confidently. He pulls out a ring he’s carrying on a chain as he plans to propose to his girlfriend after he graduates. He says the next three years will be long but worth it. Alright friends:
Dylan’s fate is looking extra bad when the guy behind them in line says Dylan will probably make it, but Violet definitely won’t.
Mix: It’s Dylan’s last murder college before retirement!
Mari: They are nearly at the front of the line, and Violet sees that the clouds are really closing in. She notices that Rhiannon’s shoes are smooth-soled, so she offers to trade her a boot so at least they each have one boot with some grip.
Mix: This is where I started thinking maybe Violet isn’t smart, but everybody else seems kind of stupid. Rhiannon has prepped for murder college her whole life but wore shoes that aren’t even safety-approved for a kitchen dishwasher.
Mari: Violet reaches the platform and the open air. She tells us that about 15% of rider candidates are just going to die on the parapet before they’ve had a chance to learn a single thing or go through a lick of training. Maybe if I were a war girlie, that would make sense to me, but I’m not, so it doesn’t.
Di: Gotta show how dangerous something is by giving it a body count.
Mari: As she’s out here, a second away from meeting her maker, Violet notices that there are three riders on the platform. One turns toward her, and here, on the very precipice of death, she takes a moment to tell us in great detail how hot he is.
“He’s tall, with windblown black hair and dark brows. The line of his jaw is strong and covered by warm tawny skin and dark stubble, and when he folds his arms across his torso, the muscles in his chest and arms ripple, moving in a way that makes me swallow. And his eyes… His eyes are the shade of gold-flecked onyx. The contrast is startling, jaw-dropping even—everything about him is. His features are so harsh that they look carved, and yet they’re astonishingly perfect, like an artist worked a lifetime sculpting him, and at least a year of that was spent on his mouth.
He’s the most exquisite man I’ve ever seen. And living in the war college means I’ve seen a lot of men. Even the diagonal scar that bisects his left eyebrow and marks the top corner of his cheek only makes him hotter. Flaming hot. Scorching hot. Gets-you-into-trouble-and-you-like-it level of hot. Suddenly, I can’t remember exactly why Mira told me not to fuck around outside my year group.”
Any guesses as to who this guy is? Anyone? Anyone?
XADEN RIORSON!!! But… but… she’s supposed to stay away from him! And he’s SO HOT. Wow, life isn’t fair.
Mix: This kind of implies there are fewer men outside the war college, but the war college does seem pretty gender balanced? Also, I have so many questions about Violet living at the war college, but I’ll keep them to myself because Violet is THIRSTY.
Di: This section legit had me asking, “Am I too ace for this, or is Yarros just a bad writer?” Turns out the answer is the latter.
Mari: Back to the death balance beam. Dylan steps out to take his turn.
Xaden hears Rhiannon call Violet by her last name, so he’s all YOU! Then they just say facts at each other. “You’re General Sorrengail’s youngest.” “You’re Fen Riorson’s son.” “Your mother captured my father and oversaw his execution.” “Your father killed my older brother. Seems like we’re even.” “Your sister is a rider. Guess that explains the leathers.”
I’m sorry I said back to the death balance beam. I said it too soon.
Violet asks Xanden if he’s going to kill her, but before he can answer, Dylan screams and falls. RIP Dylan, we barely knew ye. Sorry for saying you were friend-shaped when, really, you were red-shirt-shaped 😔
Mix: Ooooh nooo…not whats-his-name…at least he didn’t die on the steps, I guess.
Mari: As Violet looks on in horror, Xaden asks why he would waste his energy killing Violet when the parapet will do it for him. This is kind of a stupid statement considering that giving her a little shove on the death balance beam wouldn’t be THAT big a waste of energy, but okay.
At least that’s the end because that chapter felt eternal.
Di: The drinking rules so far: 1) take a sip every time the book mentions how smart Violet is. 2) Take a drink every time “for the win” is used. 3) Take a drink every. time. Yarrows. writes. like. this.
Mari: Surely, that will be enough to get us through… right?
Next time on Fourth Wing: The death balance beam, for real this time, maybe in Chapter 02.
