Previously: Logan and Weevil shared some bro moments in detention, and Veronica’s meddled in her neighbor’s affairs, and she couldn’t decide if it was for the better or worse.
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Like A Virgin
Lorraine: Veronica is examining the photos of Lilly’s shoes in her bedroom and then Lilly’s shoes in the evidence bag. She voice-overs that only one person can help her make sense of them, and only one person can help her get to that one person. In walks Cliff McCormack, who Veronica immediately starts schmoozing. Cliff asks if she’s trying to sell him a raffle ticket. I suddenly remember loving Cliff. That’s right, right? Cliff is awesome?
Democracy Diva: Cliff is awesome. He mentions that he failed criminal law, so there’s hope for me as a lawyer yet!
Sweeney: A lawyer with tawdry clients like Loretta Cancun! (Yes, Cliff is way awesome. One of two “Rob Thomas loves your face” actors in this episode, in fact.)
Lorraine: What Veronica actually wants is to get into death row to see Abel Koontz, Lilly’s accused murderer. Cliff laughs at her. She insists, saying that Cliff is Koontz’s lawyer. He clarifies that Koontz is convicted and refusing appeal, making him Koontz’s former lawyer. Cliff says that Abel hasn’t seen anyone, all while trying to peek into Papa Mars’s office. Veronica hands him the two photos and explains that one picture is Lilly’s room after the murder. Why would the same pair of shoes be found in Koontz’s possession two months later? Why would he break back into the house to grab the shoes? Cliff’s all, “BECAUSE HE’S CRAZY.” And then Cliff realizes that Keith didn’t page him at all. He grabs his things as Veronica asks him again to get her in to see Koontz. Cliff tells her to write a letter stating her case, and he’ll make sure Koontz gets it. “He’ll say no,” he warns. Veronica cocks her head a bit and says it’s awful hard for people to say no to her. Cliff fights a smile as he leaves.
Locker Room. Veronica gets to her locker to find it open and empty.
She asks the girls around her where her clothes are, and they all ignore her. (D: Mean girls are the WORST.) We cut to a toilet stuffed with clothes. Alona Tal finds Veronica. I know Alona Tal as (name spoiler) Meg from Veronica Mars. If I ever see her anywhere else I’m all, “AH YES. MEG FROM VERONICA MARS.” IMDB tells me, though, that she will later show up on Supernatural, plus she was in that hilarious episode of Pretty Little Liars, where she’s Aria’s former baby-sitter AND SHE STARTS FLIRTING WITH ARIA’S GROWN ASS BOYFRIEND. LOL. Good times.
Sweeney: Alona Tal as Aria’s former babysitter / potential Ezria spoiler was my favorite thing. Also, also: she is absolutely Meg Manning from Veronica Mars above all else. This part was written explicitly for her after being only the runner up in casting Veronica. #funfactswithfangirls
Lor: As an additional aside, I sometimes forget that Veronica is supposed to be this outcast. I think the show may have forgotten in the first few episodes? Or maybe it’s like their plush poor people apartment. Like, it ain’t so bad to be poor, and until this point, we haven’t seen many reasons why it’s so bad to be Veronica’s brand of outcast. Clothes in the toilet, though? Rough. That’s your STUFF.
Sweeney: WITHOUT HER STUFF?
Lor: EXACTLY.
Meg asks Veronica if she’s found her clothes yet one second before spotting them in the toilet. Veronica jokingly asks if the towel makes her look fat. Meg offers Veronica something to wear.
We cut to the courtyard during lunch. Veronica’s wearing a cheerleading outfit. There’s lots of whooping and hollering, though I can’t quite tell if it’s directed at V. Also Kirsten Bell is very slightly built. It’s hard to tell sometimes, but this midriff bearing cheer-thing highlights it.
Diva: SHE IS THE TINIEST.
Lor: Meg asks if she wants to join her for lunch. Veronica looks over at the 09er table and says she has to go shave her hands. Or change her clothes. Probably both.
09er table. Dick Casablancas is on his laptop reading some questions and answering them out loud. Number 26 asks if you’ve ever had sex in a car (yes says Dick.) Number 27 asks if you’ve ever had sex in a moving car (yes, Dick claims again.)
Meg joins them, sitting very close to the dark-haired boy at the table. A bitchy brunette asks Meg if Veronica Mars is wearing her uniform. Meg confirms and Bitchy says she’d better make sure and wash it. Meg defends Veronica, saying they fear what they don’t understand, but she’s cool. Dick is all, “tell that to Logan.” Remember when Veronica planted a bong in his locker and got him suspended? The other girl at the table reminds them of Ashley. Veronica told her her dad was having an affair and a few weeks later her parents split up. Bitchy calls Veronica a skank and Dick points out that funny coming from a girl who scored a 63 on the purity test. Duncan has now joined their table and Bitchy gets embarrassed. She denies this score.
Next comes the explanation of what this purity test actually is: a list of questions about anything you could do that is dirty, fun or illegal. Dick reads a few sample questions and Duncan offers, “have you ever done a reverse cowgirl.” Bitchy laughs way too hard. It’s not even a joke. Duncan smirks at her and continues explaining that the purity test then tallies up your answers and gives you a score. The lower the score, the badder you’ve been. Bitchy says anything under 60 is really slutty and Duncan chimes in, “unless you are a guy.”
Fucking high school.
Diva: Double-standard shots! Everyone drink!
Sweeney: If ever there was a reason. “Drink when something fictional is #tooreal and makes you hate the world.” is the OG Snark Squad Drinking Game.
Lor: Ain’t that the truth.
Anyway, the purity test was sent to the whole school and everyone is taking it. Meg asks her boyfriend what he scored and he grumbles that he got a 91. Dick jokes, “Snow White took it and scored an 89.” Everyone laughs as Meg says she thinks it’s sexy that they decided to wait. She peck kisses him and leaves. No Play boyfriend is left to dream of second base.
Wallace’s house. Wallace asks if Veronica took the purity test and she side eyes him. He tries to play it off, but Veronica knows he took it. He scored a 70.
Wallace’s eyeroll is adorable.
I mean, I think so, but probably his mother doesn’t think so, and she’s chosen this exact moment to walk into the living room. She tightly asks to speak to Wallace, and Veronica gets her OH SHIT face on.
Sweeney: “That’s got to be worth at least two points!” offers Veronica. Truth.
Lor: In the kitchen, Mama-de-Wallace says she’s only heard bad things about the Mars family and this is their chance to make a fresh start in Neptune. She assumes there must be more respectable kids at his school and asks him not to spend all his time with Veronica Mars. Wallace says nothing and just leaves.
Back in the living room, Veronica is looking at the purity test. She sarcastically asks if Mama-de-Wallace invited her for supper and Wallace says it’s no big deal. Veronica turns the topic back to the purity test, because now, you can buy anyone’s result with only $10. Veronica never thought she’d say this, but she can’t wait for school tomorrow.
School Tomorrow. There is chaos.
Diva: For serious. There is some Mean Girlsian animalistic fighting in the hallways happening. I DID NOT LEAVE THE SOUTH SIDE FOR THIS!
Sweeney: A+
Lor: Purity test scores are painted onto lockers, there is whooping and hollering throughout the halls and one girl confronts another about a “have you had sex with your best friend’s boyfriend” question. Veronica takes it all in with a smile until she gets to her locker. Across the hall, No Play Boyfriend is confronting Meg about the supposed results of her purity test. She’s furiously wiping at a red “48” on her locker, as she denies ever having had sex with anyone, or even taking the test. No Play doesn’t believe it, and tells her she turned him into a joke.
After he’s gone, Veronica comes over to comfort Meg. V says she believes her.
Meg smiles a little. Veronica offers to look into who posted the test and make them pay for it.
COME ON NOW SUGAR. I’d actually forgotten that I hadn’t seen any credits yet. Damn. That was a long teaser.
Sweeney: Holy shit. That is a long teaser. I just watched the episode and am equally confused by how all of that was encompassed by the teaser. The things you could get away with on UPN. I bet this kind of lawlessness is what did them in.
Lor: There’s gotta be rules, UPN.
After the credits, Veronica busts into a computer lab with a complicated tech-y speak question meant to figure out how someone could’ve broken into the school’s mainframe and gained access to everyone’s account. The teacher is all, “yeah. I’m a gym teacher,” and tells Veronica to look for a student named Mac in the parking lot.
MAC! MAC! I TOTALLY FORGOT WE MEET HER SO EARLY ON. I realize my squeeing is kind of a spoiler, but MAC! (S: MAC! MAC! MAC!)
Veronica finds said Mac, and I first knew Tina Majorino from such hits as Corrina, Corrina and Waterworld. Just thinking about Waterworld makes me laugh. Ha. (D: Also, Napoleon Dynamite!) After Veronica helps her break into her locked car, we cut to them discussing Veronica’s question about breaking into school email accounts. Usernames are easy to figure out (veronicamars@neptunehigh.org) but only the district IT guy has access to the passwords. Mac knows his schedule by heart, and chuckles that Veronica will understand why when she sees him.
Later, Veronica is at Wallace’s house again. She’s posing in front of white blanket for reasons we do not know yet.
D: Veronica says it’s so that one day, in Wallace’s memoirs, he’ll describe her as “inscrutable.” I LOLed.
Lor: Wallace, ever the trusty helper, snaps her pictures and calls her crazy. As Veronica packs up her bag, she sees Mama-de-Wallace outside, apparently talking to her tenant. She asks for her rent, but the dude says that he just took a painkiller and is a little fuzzy. He pointedly mentions that the fall he had on her stairs really did a number on him, and then shuts the door in her face.
Neptune High. Meg and some other dude are doing the school announcements. I used to host the daily announcements in fifth grade. There was rotating schedule but I’d show up every day all, “NO. I got this.”
Anyway, they wrap a story about a school play (D: It’s Cabaret, and I’m unabashedly excited about auditions. None of you bitches can out-Sally-Bowles me!) and Meg’s co-anchor says that she’s quite the actress too. Meg gets very uncomfortable until he clarifies that she was in a school play last year. Meg laughs akwardly. We cut to the end of the broadcast. Bitchy Brunette and another girl, Kimmy, are waiting for Meg. Bitchy says the co-anchor shouldn’t have gone off script and Meg admits that she just hasn’t been herself lately. Bitchy says maybe Mrs. Dent will fire the co-anchor and Kimmy will get promoted. Meg says it should’ve been her spot anyways, because her audition tape was awesome. Kimmy is pleased.
Hallways. Veronica checks in with Meg who says she’s barely okay. Boys have been calling her house, emailing her porn and “slut-sneezing.” Her demonstration of said slut-sneezing is endearing. (D: It’s like slut-shaming, but less hygienic.) Veronica asks if anyone else had the password to her email and Meg says only her sister Lizzie, because they are very close.
Interrogation Room. I mean, bathroom. Veronica confronts Lizzie who has BIG HAIR! and is wearing MAKE-UP! so you just know what kind of girl she is. (D: My notes read, “She looks vaguely like a child prostitute.”) Lizzie says that she wishes she had posted the results, because growing up in a house with perfect Meg isn’t easy. Lizzie tells Veronica she might as well be blamed for this too, because she’s always blamed for everything.
Veronica finds Mr. DeMouy, the IT guy, and is impressed by his hotness. She recovers quickly and pretends to want her BFFs password for a birthday surprise. Hot DeMouy says no way, no how, ever after Veronica offers to pay him.
Cabaret Auditions. How timely. Kimmy finishes “Don’t Tell Mama” and Meg’s up next.
Sweeney: Plot Appropriate Audition Songs are even better than Plot Appropriate Lesson Plans!
Lor: Oh, way better. If I have to learn a plot appropriate lesson, I want a song and dance.
Things get awkward as Meg sings and the audience laughs at her. Meg can’t deal with it and runs out of her audition. Veronica runs after her. In the hall, she says she can’t take it anymore.
Diva: I couldn’t figure out why they picked that song for callbacks, of all the songs in Cabaret, until I realized that they had to have the slut-shamed girl sing a slutty song about being a slutty cabaret dancer in front of everyone and get heckled. It’s horrible. YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST HAD THEM SING “MAYBE THIS TIME,” SHOW. It’s more vocally challenging, and you could have avoided an epidemic of slut-sneezing.
Sweeney: I love you for knowing that they’re doing this audition wrong.
Diva: At some point, I realized that most of the students have taken to wearing their “purity numbers” on their tee shirts. I don’t really buy it, but it was kind of hilarious to just see them in the background, unmentioned.
Lor: Veronica’s Voice Over adopts a southern accent as she writes up a letter for Abel Koontz, pretending to be a student named Ellen White. She takes the picture of herself standing in front of the white blanket and photoshops herself into a picture of a “Welcome to” sign from Koont’s home town.
In regular accent, VVO tells us she splurged to see the results of her own purity test. Apparently, she pleasured the whole swim team while jacked up on goofballs. Veronica finds Hot DeMouy again, this time for the real reason of resetting her password, because someone figured out the old one. DeMouy says she has to make it tough to crack, but this doesn’t actually pertain to Veronica, because her old password was gj7b!x. Don’t use that as your password. Marshmallows will hack you.
Wallace House. The Fennel family get home to find Jeremy, their tenant, cooking in the kitchen. (D: This guy is clearly a fucking psycho killer.) Mama-de-Wallace freaks out at him, for breaking and entering and also for not paying rent. Jeremy says that he can’t even enter “his home” without getting yapped at. Wallace puts down his bag of groceries and starts charging at Jeremy, who grabs a hot pan defensively. Mama holds Wallace back. She tells Jeremy to finish making his dinner and pushes Wallace out of the room, telling him to set an example for his little brother. I haven’t mentioned his little brother, but he’s definitely been hanging out in the background of a scene or two.
D: And he’s SO CUTE.
Lor: Later, Wallace stops by the Plush Poor Apartment to study with Veronica. He tells her about how he almost “merked” their tenant. Veronica tells him to speak to her dad. Keith hears this and jokingly asks if he’s giving Wallace the birds and the bees again. Veronica tells Keith the story of the creepy tenant and Keith offers to handle it.
Ho Suspension High. (D: A+) During class, Veronica fills Meg in on what she’s found out about the purity test. It was originally published in a magazine only Lizzie subscribes to. Out of the whole Neptune High population. The teacher calls on Veronica and asks her for her position on whatever subject. Dick pipes up, “all fours!” earning him a visit with the teacher after class and a spot on Veronica Mars’s shit list.
Diva : And apparently fulfilling his contractual “one douchey line per episode” duties.
Sweeney: A contract that set Ryan Hansen on the path to starting up the Veronica Mars Frat House with Kristen Bell.
Lor: Keith visits the Fennel house. Mama-de-Wallace answers the door and Keith introduces himself. Mama says Veronica isn’t there, and Keith explains that he’s here to help. Mama tells him she’s got it under control and if she didn’t, she’d call the police. Keith says Wallace is concerned, and Mama tells him to worry about his own kid. YOU QUIT IT, MRS. FENNEL. KEITH MARS DOESN’T DESERVE YOUR SHIT. She closes the door in his face and after an awkward moment, he leaves, but not without noticing the tenant’s name on the mailbox.
Veronica Mars gets a call telling her Abel Koontz has agreed to visit with “Ellen White.” (D: Yes! More Lilly plot development, please!)
Neptune Lunch High. It’s lunch time. At the 09er table, Duncan is joking about Meg being a “Britney Spears” virgin, saying No Play was her Justin. No Play imitates Bill Clinton as he says he did not have sexual relations… you know the rest. No Play keeps up the act, saying Meg is a good girl, good at everything she does, and she does do everything. Lizzie confronts No Play and threatens to publish some of the love poems he wrote for Meg if he doesn’t shut up. No Play says Lizzie doesn’t even like Meg, and she says she may not like her, but she loves her.
Sweeney: Obligatory Sibling Feels Comment: Lizzie’s a total minor throwaway character, but I love this little moment. “Yes, I can talk shit about my sibling all day long, but I will fuck your shit up if you try to get away with it.”
Lor: It’s the rule of family.
Veronica waves Lizzie over and asks where Meg is. Apparently, she stayed home from school as things are bad in the Manning household. Because her parents believe the purity test over their daughter.
Manning House. Meg is in bed, going through tissues like no one’s business. She says her dad searched her room and found some sexy letters she once got from a guy in Spain. After that, she didn’t have the energy to show up to school. Meg doesn’t get how Veronica deals with this kind of treatment all the time.
Wallace House. The family gets home and this time finds that someone left their gas stove on. Mama thinks this is something they can take to the police. Later, Deputy Sacks basically tells them to get a lawyer and file an eviction notice. Best case scenario, Jeremy will be out in 60 days.
Diva: We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: WORST. COPS. EVER. Also, I called that psycho killer shit! #snowpoints
Sweeney: Mama Fennel should give Democracy Diva, Lawyer To Fictional Characters In LOLPD Universes a call.
Also: Deputy Sacks made an adorable appearance as a fan asking a question at the movie’s comic con panel. SO CUTE.
Lor: Plush Poor Apartment. Wallace shows up and asks to crash on the couch because his house is “being fumigated.” Veronica can tell something is up, but Wallace doesn’t say anything. V asks her dad about helping Mrs. Fennel and he says that she had it handled and he didn’t want to overstep. Veronica says overstepping is his deal. He grabs his jacket and says he forgot some things at the office.
Keith gone, Wallace admits that he told his mom that he’s staying over at Norman’s house. Norman is a totally made up, mom-approved friend. Wallace gently tells Veronica that his mom’s been hearing things at the Kane Software rumor mill. Veronica says she gets it. She smiles at him but with her back turned, her face falls as VVO tells us that once in a while it bothers her what people say about her. It depends who is listening.
Mars Investigations. Keith looks up Jeremy’s record. Then, we cut to Wallace’s house. Jeremy is letting himself into the fridge and the light reveals Keith Mars sitting in the dark, enjoying a beer. Jeremy is startled. Keith tells him he has until 6am to move out, but Jeremy says he isn’t going anywhere.
6am. Jeremy’s alarm goes off and he rolls over to find Keith Mars. I laughed so much. Keith gets all up in his grill about taking advantage of a single mom. Jeremy is clinging to his covers and just looking at Keith like homeboy is CRAZY. Keith says Jeremy doesn’t know crazy and then proceeds to bark at him and, like, shake his bed. It’s weird, Keith. And awesome. It only lasts a few seconds and then Keith tells Jeremy to GTFO.
Diva: I didn’t know whether to laugh or be terrified, so I did a little bit of both. Either way, I loved it.
We cut to Jeremy carrying his things out as Keith enjoys a coffee and supervises.
Diva: +1. Keith Mars, strong-arm away!
Sweeney: SAME. I love Good Dad Keith Mars most of all, but it’s kind of Giles-esque in that these occasional, “This guy is a fucking badass,” moments are awesome.
Lor: Neptune High. Mac says that at $10 per purity test someone is getting rich. She knows some kids who have ordered dozens. Veronica asks if she’s ordered any, but Mac is part of the poor half of the population. I mean, we did see her barely running, rusted car. Veronica tries to log into her school account, but can’t because someone is already logged in. Mac does her magic and finds that it’s someone in the journalism room.
The girls take off to find the culprit. When they get there, the journalism room is empty but the computer the culprit was using is still running. Veronica finds that someone wrote an email to her ex-boyfriend. Mac asks, “Duncan Kane?” and then admits that she was all anyone used to gossip about. She still is, but just in a different way. The fake email says that she still loves Duncan and also that she had VD while they were dating. Veronica freaks.
VVO explains that only one person knows all the passwords and she’s followed him to “the low rent version of lover’s lane.” She circles a parked car and takes a bunch of pictures. VVO says solving a case is cool but interrupting someone else’s coitus is decidedly not. Still. She does what she has to.
CAUGHT! High School. Veronica stands in the halls, pictures in hand, as she VVOs. She wonders who would want to ruin the reputation of the nicest girl in school. No Play? Bitchy Brunette? Lizzie? …Kimmy?
Veronica hails Kimmy over, and says that she followed Hot DeMouy last night and guess where he ended up? Kimmy freaks out as Veronica starts going through the pictures, saying that since she’s 17 and he’s 23, they probably won’t allow conjugal visits between them in prison. (S: Pedoalert!) Kimmy wants to know why Veronica is doing this. V says Kimmie messed with the wrong person when she posted up V’s fake purity test. Kimmy swears it wasn’t her. Bitchy posted Veronica’s test because she was upset that Duncan was still hung up on her. Kimmy posted a fake one for Meg because her hatin’ ass was just jealous. Veronica thanks her and opens her locker to reveal a camcorder. Veronica asks if Skeevy DeMouy was running the purity test website, and Kimmy swears he wasn’t.
School Announcements. Meg gives a few tapes to the video guy and takes her position for the start of the announcements. We cut to Veronica sitting in class, Duncan just a few seats ahead of her. Meg introduces a video, but it is in fact Kimmy’s confessional video. Duncan flinches at the mention of him still being stuck on Veronica. Bitchy yells at Kimmy for being a spineless idiot. Kimmy runs out crying and Bitchy says that was very Meg of her. Everyone stares at her. Because bitch(y) is crazy.
After school in the parking lot, Veronica Mars passes Dick who is having car troubles. She gives him a mock look of sympathy as VVO says, “you mess with the bull…” Mac rolls by in a new VW bug. Veronica puts it together. There was only one person smart enough to run the purity test website. Veronica says she can’t hate on Mac for taking rich people’s allowance.
Diva: Seeing the brand-new car did make me think this girl was pretty goddamn savvy. Way to go, Mac.
Lor: Finally, Meg approaches Veronica to thank her. She says people have been running up to her, telling her that they never believed she did those things. Veronica says it’s funny– no one is running up to her. Meg tells her people are afraid of her. Getting tough was good advice, but V may want to rethink the getting even. Another one of Veronica’s flaws. She is the bull, and she doesn’t know how to react if she isn’t giving the horns. Meg tells her that she does have friends.
Sweeney: (1) Lovely commentary with the bull thing. (2) This scene gave me feelings. I got a little choked up for Veronica and her emotional hardening defense mechanism. Also, I adore Meg.
Lor: At that, Veronica calls out to Duncan and explains about the fake emails. She never had VD and she doesn’t still love him. He says that’s good because he isn’t still hung up on her. There is a pregnant pause before Veronica turns away. Duncan tells her to wait and jokes, “you don’t have VD? ‘Cause I keep getting this thing on my lip and I don’t know who I could’ve gotten it from.” Veronica playfully punches him on the arm and he laughs, waves goodbye and walks away. Remember when Duncan had no personality? Look! A little bit! I spy a little bit of personality!
Diva: Just the tiniest little sliver! But it’s there.
Lor: Mars Investigation. Mama-de-Wallace finds Keith and tells him that her tenant moved out. Keith pours her a cup of coffee and says he knows that the law works slowly and he was worried for Wallace. Mama says that he’s a decent man for helping her even though she was awful to him. APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
She keeps up the charade, though, and asks him about Lilly’s shoes. This could be enough for a retrial, but he doesn’t seem interested. He asks what it will take for Keith Mars to let sleeping dogs lie. Abel asks if she wants to know exactly how he bashed her friend’s brains in. Veronica is shocked and he reveals that he knows exactly who she is. He knew her mother. Abel says she’s a very dedicated young lady, which is a trait she didn’t inherit from Lianne. That makes her her father’s daughter. Veronica says Keith tried to help save his life. Abel says he meant her REAL father. “Are you the product of the schlubby sheriff or the king and queen of the prom?” Abel hangs up and leaves.
Outside the prison, Veronica cries in her car.
Diva: First of all, I CALLED THAT SHIT! Second, I am not actually as gleeful as I sound because Veronica is BREAKING MY FUCKING HEART RIGHT NOW. I was worried she was actually going to barf. If I had just heard that news, I’d definitely be puke-crying. I mean, I’m prepared for the idea that a completely psychotic dude who probably lied about having murdered someone might be lying about this, but I still wanted to do a bit of my “I told you so” dance before having all the Veronica feels.
Lor: And there they are: VERONICA TEARS.
Sweeney: This was a really long take, too. This gif only cuts in at the end when she’s breaking down, but at first she does the thing where you sniffle and try to fight it back, breathe it out. Then she’s just all, “Fuck. Can’t do it. SOB.” AND MY HEART BREAKS.
Lor: Broken hearted Snark Ladies, party of 3.
Next time: Some rich parents hire Mars Investigations to look into the cult-like group their son has joined in Veronica Mars S01 E09 – Drinking the Kool-Aid.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
