Orphan Black S01 E08 – Nooners

Previously: The monitors have found Sarah out, Cosima kissed Delphine, and Helena CHOPPED OFF A TAIL.
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Entangled Bank

Sweeney: Art is sitting in the station, staring at Sarah’s ID photo, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. He puts forth doppelgangers and twins as possible explanations, but Deangelis isn’t really sure either one makes any sense. They have to make a house call, since they identified Sarah Manning as their Jane Doe (who was actually Katja) and now they have to make a house call. Art gets Deangelis to agree to keep the Beth-Childs-lookalike thing on the DL until they figure out what’s going on.

Felix’s Frisky Flat. Sarah and Paul wake up in Felix’s bed the next morning. You’ve asked a lot of Felix, Sarah, but kicking him out of his bed so you can have sex while he sleeps on the couch a couple feet away is crossing the line. (L: Still love my siblings. NOT GONNA HAPPEN.) Unfortunately, Paul notes that they can’t go back to the townhouse. Sarah just wants to cuddle but Paul’s adamant about discussing the fact that Olivier thinks she’s the clone murderer. As she starts getting dressed, Felix arrives, so maybe he just stayed out all night? IDK, but we also get another butt shot in there, too, for anyone still keeping a count on those.

Lorraine: After the pilot there was really no reason to count. I still like to acknowledge them, though. I see you butt. You happened.

Sweeney: Exactly. I don’t want these later butts to feel somehow lesser than all those pilot butts.

Felix is rightly annoyed by everyone invading his space and would also like to burn Helena’s nasty parka which, unsurprisingly, smells awful. I don’t get the sense she’s doing a lot of bathing on the Murder Lighting Boat. This is interrupted by Alison calling Sarah’s pink phone. Alison came back from her retreat a little early. Cosima got her up to date and Alison has decided that she’s taking a break from Clone Club so that she can focus on her life/family, now that she’s decided to get a divorce. Alison sees someone just outside her patio and hangs up on Sarah. Said person is Aynsley, and she’s snooping through Alison’s mail. When Alison pops out from around the corner Aynsley says she didn’t know Alison was coming back so soon and that she had just come by to water the plants.

Lor: …in your mail! I came to water the plants in your mail, see? Suuuuure Aynsley.

Sweeney: Jane Doe House Call. Kira is drawing a picture of a mermaid when she hears a knock at the door. She runs to answer it, but Mrs. S stops her, because they haven’t invited anyone and she’s too little to be answering the door for strangers. Mrs. S looks out the window and sees cops, so she sends Kira upstairs. Mrs. S answers. Art and Deangelis are there, asking if she’s Sarah Manning’s legal guardian.

DNA and SCIENCE and a NEAT-O SCREENSAVER.

Mrs. S sits in a chair looking at a photo of Sarah as Art and Deangelis explain that Sarah was shot about two weeks ago – identification took them some time. She asks if they’re sure it’s Sarah and they just nod. They ask if Sarah had any problems with anyone, especially women. Mrs. S doesn’t answer the question – just asks why they’re asking her something like that – and explains that she and Sarah aren’t/weren’t close and that Sarah moved out when she came of age. They ask if Sarah had a sister. Mrs. S says that as Sarah was an orphan so that would be news to both of them if she did.

Felix’s Frisky Flat. Sarah is chatting with Cosima, who is being irritatingly defensive of the crazy scientists, due to the fact that their science is conveniently aligned with her science. Sarah’s not having that, what with the crazy scientists having recently black bagged her and, you know, the general resentment surrounding the idea of having spent her whole life as someone’s experiment. Cosima, in her love of the crazy scientists, is mad at Sarah for sicking Helena on them. Cosima insists that she didn’t get the science wrong and that their DNA must be identical and that it’s probably Sarah’s “sunny personality” that tipped them off.

Felix calls Cosima a Freaky Leekie and tells Sarah to hang up, so she slams the laptop shut. Without saying goodbye. And I don’t blame her one bit.

Felix tries to get Sarah to refocus her energy on helping Alison. Sarah points out that Alison doesn’t want her help and insists she’s fine. “Divorces do really strange things to Normals, Sarah. They lose their fake happiness, they forget their way to the mall, and then they come downtown to find themselves.”

 

Sarah says that Alison’s obsessing over the idea that Aynsley is her monitor. Felix laughs and says it’s definitely her.

Alison’s Abode. Aynsley is sitting awkwardly on the couch as Alison gets mad at her for asking questions, adding that everything Aynsley knows she pried right out of Alison. Aynsley isn’t entirely sure how to respond to that, what with it being pretty standard friend behavior to ask questions about their lives and stuff. Aynsley tries to suggest that she coach figure skating that night so that Alison can relax. Alison tells her to back the fuck off and return her house key. Aynsley says she knows Alison is in pain and won’t abandon her, to which Alison merely shows her the door.

Dismemberment Hospital. Olivier is face down in a hospital room while a doctor chats with Paul about how he’s amazed by the tail thing, though they weren’t able to save it. With all the bloodless and risk of infection in “that…area” it’ll be a few days to a week before Olivier is released.

Lor: I’m so happy you noticed that “…” in the doctor’s delivery. His pause says, “I know I’m a medical professional, but this shit is weird.”

Sweeney: Creepy Scientist Towncar. Delphine gets into a car with Dr. Leekie. She says she’s closer with Cosima, now that she made a pass at her, but Delphine is anxious about it. Leekie says that there’s a direct threat to the lives of Cosima and the other clones, so he needs to know which ones Cosima is in contact with. Delphine points out that she can’t be the one to disclose, as that will fuck up their big experiment, which is way more important than actually protecting anyone’s lives. He says it’s not about disclosing, just digging deeper, faster.

Murder Lighting Boat. Helena downs some pills and then goes through Sarah’s mail and reads a letter from Kira with pictures of her in it. Helena finding out about Kira was one of more the stressful moments of the series for me on first watch. LEAVE THE ADORABLE CHILD ALONE.

Lor: This time around, I was all, “SARAH MANNING WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THAT IN THERE. GIRL.”

Sweeney: I KNOW. GET IT TOGETHER, SARAH. SHIT.

Felix’s Frisky Flat. Sarah and Felix are sitting around talking. Sarah ignores a call from Art, joking that Beth doesn’t live there anymore. LOLZ, dead people jokes! This interrupted when Mrs. S lets herself into Felix’s apartment.

She’s furious about the serious shit that Sarah is clearly keeping from her, thanks to the fact that some cops just told her Sarah’s been murdered. Sarah says she doesn’t want to lie to her, which is why she can’t tell her anything just yet. Mrs. S doesn’t really have anything helpful to share, given that the cops didn’t say much. She’s willing to let Sarah have her silence, but she goes on to say that whatever she’s into, she needs to promise that she’ll yell FIRE if it takes a step towards Kira. They’ll burn everything they built in this country if that’s what it takes to keep Kira safe. GOOD. BECAUSE CHILD.

Lor: I want to fist bump Mrs. S.

Sweeney: Mrs. S makes some questionable choices, but she deserves a little Sandy Cohen eyebrow credit for the way she looks out for Kira.

Traumaland’s Lone Legitimate Police Station. Crazy news: Art has discovered that Sarah Manning supposedly committed suicide two days before Jane Doe’s death. Deangelis is trying to suss out the crazy here, and suggests that maybe Beth is part of a set of triplets separated at birth. The rapid succession of death suggests that these triplets are no longer separated and there’s only one left to clear this little mystery up. With that Sarah-as-Beth strolls into the station, saying she got their messages.

After a Not Break, she’s sitting in the conference room as Art recaps that she never logged the non-match on Jane Doe’s prints so they ran them again and found a match. Deangelis joins them and holds up a picture of Sarah asking if the name Sarah Manning means anything to her. Beth jokes that she’s seen that face before in the mirror. Art quips that people have lookalikes. She makes a lot of, “HELP ME” faces at Art throughout this scene, which is a bit of a gamble. Either he takes it as an admission of guilt or his history with Beth is enough for that to win his support. LET’S SEE WHICH WAY IT GOES.

Stepford Showdown Ice Skating Rink. Alison sees Aynsley and is pissed that she’s there. Aynsley reiterates that she thinks Alison is in no place to coach. Alison again tells her to back the fuck off, adding that if Aynsley wants to mess with her life, she’s going to mess with hers.

Police Station. Deangelis gets in Beth’s face, saying it looks like Beth buried Jane Doe’s prints to hide their connection. Art says that they just need to know where Beth fits into all of this. Sarah-as-Beth asks to see Sarah’s file, but Deangelis says that’s not possible now that she’s a civilian. She asks Art if she needs to lawyer up, and he turns the question on her. She throws the picture on the table and leaves. Once she does, they pick up the picture and put in an evidence bag so that they can run her prints.

Lor: TV taught me never to touch a damn thing in a police station. No drinks of water, no evidence handling, no pens, NOTHING.

Sweeney: EVERYTHING IN THERE IS A TRAP. I tend to have nightmare phases, which is to say periods of a year or couple years in which my nightmares are roughly the same. During my last two years of high school my nightmares were exclusively about running from the cops because I was wanted for some horrible crime I did not commit. I still have lingering paranoia/trauma from these dreams.

Ice Skating Rink. Chad is sitting in his minivan getting stoned and quickly tries to hide it when he sees Alison leave the rink. She goes up to the van and he panics. She takes the joint and starts smoking, saying it’s the first time since she was in Godspell in college, and asks if he has any more.

Dismemberment Hospital. Olivier is awake and he tells Paul that he’s in serious shit now that he’s conspiring with multiple clones. Paul ain’t scared, though. He’s ex-military intelligence and has already done the requisite digging on Olivier to know things like how that’s not really even his name and how he has a whole bunch of unsavory sex warrants out for him. The organization knows, but the cops don’t, which is why Olivier/Kevin is going to listen really closely to Paul’s version of events from the previous night.

Dazed & Confused Minivan. (L: A+) Chad toasts to Alison getting Donnie off her couch. She says she knows he and Aynsley “aren’t exactly booking nooners.” (L: Huh. This is the second recap today and both episodes said “nooners.” Your word of the day is nooners!”) They compliment each other’s sexy workout bodies and eventually he suggests that she’s had enough. She says she’s objectifying him sexually to get back at Donnie. He says he should have a problem with this but doesn’t so they commence car sex.

Cosima’s Apartment. Delphine is there to mitigate the awkwardness. Cosima apologizes for jumping to conclusions. She says she gets that Delphine isn’t gay and just wants to make crazy science with her. With that, Delphine launches directly into getting Cosima to talk about Dyad Institute stuff. Cosima is excited and Delphine says it’s really good to finally meet someone who really gets it and her. Cosima just sort of nods. Delphine says that she can’t stop thinking about the kiss and how she’s never thought about bisexuality for herself even though, as a scientist, she knows that sexuality is a continuum and attraction is just codified by social biases. Cosima says that’s oddly romantic and encouraging. Then they make out.

Elsewhere, Alison and Chad are in the back of the minivan and he’s “in the endzone.” The van’s a-rocking so much that a mother hurriedly steers her children away from it.

Lor: Alison’s, “Do you want me to be your coach?!” made me laugh a lot.

Sweeney: Later that night, Alison is driving around in her own minivan belting out Meredith Brooks “I’m A Bitch.” It’s amazing and kind of long for no other reason than someone in editing was like, “Yes. Good. More.”

She’s stopped by Aynsley in the middle of the road, telling her to get out of the car because everyone knows that Alison screwed her husband. Alison tells her that she should pay more attention to her husband than her, and calls her a sleazy watcher spy. Aynsley fairly points out that “sleazy” is a rich comment coming from Alison. Aynsley starts swatting at Alison so she tries to roll up her window. Aynsley smacks Alison’s face against the steering wheel, so Alison opens the door, taking her down, and getting out to actually fight it out in the middle of the street with her car still running. The music gets louder.

Lor: When Aynsley pushes Alison’s face into the steering wheel, she says, “Oi!” In her accent, but it’s an “oi” and it’s fantastic.

Sweeney: Ah, that’s delightful! When your friends have particular words and phrases that they use a lot you tend to pick them up. I like that the clones are subtly influencing each other in that way.

Morgue. Art and Deangelis are there to ask Felix’s morgue attendant boytoy questions about Sarah Manning. They want everything that he has on her. He pulls up the file and a picture of Beth’s corpse pops up on the screen. Deangelis is taken aback by how uncanny the resemblance is. You know, with that being actual Beth and all. They ask for the name and address of the person who identified the body.

Felix’s Frisky Flat. Colin, the morgue attendant, calls Felix to explain what just went down, adding that he couldn’t lie, what with there being records and Felix’s signature and all of that. Sarah’s scrambling for her stuff and Felix quickly hangs up on Colin. Felix unconvincingly says he can handle the cops, though Sarah has no idea where she’s going to go. There’s a knock at the door before she can get gone, but it’s not the cops – it’s Alison. She’s got a bottle of wine and says that bad things have happened to her. Felix says he’d love to hear about them, but right now she needs to go, shutting the door on Alison and Sarah.

Clone Club Confessional Car. Sarah’s driving Alison’s car back to suburbia, and Alison confesses that she slept with Aynsley’s husband and then they got in a fight. Sarah says she hopes Alison kicked her ass, which she says she did. Alison doesn’t really want to divorce Donnie but she can’t keep lying to him and she hates lying to her children. Sarah agrees that they can’t really sustain this insanity. Sarah mentions that she may soon be thrown in jail and/or Cosima might rat them out to the neolutionists. Alison reminds them that there’s also Helena to worry about. You know, Sarah, the murdering clone who you gave your name to? The detail that you failed to mention to Mrs. S in terms of shit-taking-a-step-toward-Kira? Yeah. That. Speaking of, Sarah says that all she knows is that she came back to be a real mom to Kira and fix things. On that note, she asks what would happen if they told their family.

Murder Lighting Boat. Helena lies on the floor repeating a line from Kira’s letter. “I miss you mommy.” Then she memorizes Mrs. S’s address. And my anxiety goes through the roof.

Dismemberment Hospital. Paul is finishing his explanation to Olivier. He edited the footage so that only one clone was there. As Dr. Leekie enters, Paul switches gears, saying that Olivier needs to stop blaming himself. Dr. Leekie enthusiastically shakes hands with Paul, and tells Olivier to shut up when he wines about losing his tail.

Monitor Your Monitor Sexytimes. Delphine and Cosima are in bed after the fact. Cosima asks if Delphine is OK. She says she is, but Cosima’s not sure. Delphine says that she cries after sex with boys too but she’s never this hungry and would love some ice cream. Cosima offers to run and buy them Eskimo Pies. Delphine is unfamiliar with this concept, so Cosima warns her that she’s about to become an addict. “I think already am,” Delphine responds. Cosima smiles and heads off, wearing only a coat over her underwear. As soon as she’s gone, Delphine starts rummaging through Cosima’s shit. Eventually she finds a little portfolio which contains multiple clone passports and all sorts of scientific research that Cosima has done on the clones. It also contains a big family tree style char, listing the known clones, with photos. Dead clones are crossed out and Helena has a skull and cross bones in lieu of a photo. This tree also reveals that Sarah has a seven year old daughter. Delphine is floored.

Lor: Too many people know about Kira. WORST.

Sweeney: People need to stop learning about Kira. Also Mrs. S needs to make good on that promise to disappear again.

Clone Cover-up Hospital. Olivier explains that the girl in question dropped the Beth act in front of them, revealing herself to be Helena, a clone with a Slavic accent. Olivier says that Helena killed Beth and took over her life. Leekie looks to Paul and welcomes him to the big picture. Just then the doctor pops in to say that visiting hours are over. Out in the hallway, Leekie tells Paul that he’s proven himself and tomorrow he’d like to discuss next steps.

This is interrupted by a phone call from Delphine, asking him to promise that Cosima is safe. Delphine says that Cosima’s investigating not only her own biology but that of the others as well and has made contact. Delphine reads off the list of names, including Helena and Sarah. Sarah’s name gives him pause and he asks if there’s anything else on her, but Delphine says there’s nothing. I mean, yay for not giving up Kira, but that’s an irrelevant protection now that you’ve given up Sarah. She’s close enough to all of this to have been stunned by the fact that Sarah had a child so I can’t really give her any special credit for naming Sarah but omitting the detail about Kira. I’m getting a little ahead of us, though. I’m just issuing this little protest here but stopping now because spoilers.

Sarah finally decides to go to Mrs. S and confess. Mrs. S says she’s all ears, but rather than starting with the talking, she gestures for Alison to come inside because she already saw with Felix how much more intense it is to see the clones live and in person. Mrs. S is taken aback.

After a Not Break they’re sitting in the kitchen and Alison is telling Mrs. S about her life. College, marriage, and now everything is shit. Mrs. S realizes that Alison came to see Kira in her place – she knew something was off. Sarah confirms and adds that the crazy clone was after her that day. Mrs. S takes a moment to recap all the names they know. Alison says there’s probably thousands of them unless Helena’s killed them off. Alison says that they’re all messed up except Sarah who says, “Eff this!” which Alison tried to do, but couldn’t. Mrs. S decides it’s time to take this drunk mess up to the guest bedroom.

Lor: Check out Sarah trying not to laugh. Precious.

Sweeney: Felix’s Frisky Flat. Felix is awkwardly talking about seeing Sarah’s body. He laments that he never really saw the signs that she was suicidal and reiterates that Sarah had no sisters that they knew of. Art decides to poke through Felix’s stuff. He finds the paintings that Felix did of the other clones. He says they’re the many sides of Sarah and he calls that series Twisted Sister. They thank him again and tell him they’re sorry for his loss. Out in the hallway, Art stops Deangelis, saying that he’s been to that building before. He gets out his phone and redials a recent number – i.e., the person he received a mysterious phone call from at the end of the previous night. They hear Felix’s phone ring inside his apartment and then they hear his voice both inside the apartment aaaand coming through Art’s phone. Caller ID, Felix. Caller ID. He wouldn’t have saved the number?

Lor: Well, he also mapped out the way to Alison’s house even though he’d been there and was taking a cab. So maybe no, Felix would not have saved the number.

Sweeney: Somebody needs to have a chat with Felix about modern technology.

In the stairwell, Art explains the phone call he got from Felix to Deangelis. He doesn’t want to bring him in just yet – he says they need to get a better picture of what’s going on first.

Hospital. A doctor we haven’t yet seen comes in and asks Olivier if there’s any loss of sensation in his feet. No, there is not. This new doctor jabs a shot in Olivier’s heel and then tells him to get some rest and that Dr. Leekie sends his regards. With that, Olivier foams at the mouth and dies.

Mrs. S’s. Sarah explains that from what she knows, the other clone parents wanted kids badly enough to do in vitro so she’s confused as to why her mother gave her up. Mrs. S hesitates but says that there were rumors that the undocumented children “in the black” who came through Carlton’s pipeline were the subject of scientific experiments. She doesn’t know more than that, though, because it was a paranoid time. She’s not entirely sure that she can get in touch with Carlton and whether he’d know who her birth mother is or if he’d even share that information if he knew.

Kira has been creeping down the stairs during this conversation as the creeptacular murder noises rev up – you know that weird computerized percussion-breathing thing? (L: Helena’s music. Always in her scenes when the cameraman can’t focus there’s that beating, screeching combination.) Yeah, those noises get more intense as Kira comes down the stairs and looks at the front door. Once she gets to the door, she pulls back the curtain to reveal Helena. Helena spots her gross parka hanging by the door. Kira unlocks the door.

Sarah tells Mrs. S that she just wants to know who she is. Mrs. S says that she’s still her and she’s a survivor. Sarah walks over to the door which is wide open. She notices the parka is missing and screams that it’s Helena and bolts outside. We cut back and forth between Sarah running down the street screaming Kira’s name and Helena escorting Kira into an alleyway. She asks how Kira can be Sarah’s child and says that Helena is not just like Sarah as Sarah is not real. Helena sits down and Kira holds her face, asking what happened to her. Helena isn’t sure and Kira hugs her. Because adorable child. ADORABLE FOOLISH CHILD.

Helena and Kira hear Sarah screaming and Kira says she should go home now. Helena tears up but agrees and asks if Kira knows the way. “Of course,” she says with a laugh and walks off. She spots Sarah across the street screaming her name. Kira calls out to Sarah and steps into the road. As Sarah is screaming for her not to, a car hits her. Sarah and Helena both see this and lose their shit. End credits.

THE CAR. IT HIT HER. AND THEY SHOWED IT. AND I CAN’T HANDLE THIS. People fucking with children is just way up there on the, “I CANNOT PROCESS,” list for me. Kira is so small and sweet and helpless and anything bad happening to her is just the absolute worst. Absolute. Worst.

Lor: I forgot about that until Helena showed up at Mrs. S’s house. And then I was all, “OOOOH. OH.” and I spent the rest of the episode freaking out. This show is very engaging. It was hard to find places for me to pause and comment because I just wanted to watch it all.

Sweeney: Yes. Agreed. I have a lot of other feelings about this episode but I don’t know how to express them in non-spoilery ways, so that’s all I’ve got for now.

Next time: Cosima finds out the truth about Delphine and Sarah finds her birth mom in Orphan Black S01 E09 – Unconscious Selection.