Previously: Firefly only made it 14 episodes. Sad.
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Lorraine: Joss Whedon got his feature length film, and we’re going to recap it, but fair warning that this post will be long.
The Universal Pictures logo becomes Earth. A voice over gives us the set-up, but it is not Mal, as we were accustomed to. It’s a woman (S: Tamara Taylor from Bones!) with a slightly different version of events: Earth-That-Was could no longer sustain the ever growing population. People found a new solar system, terraformed the planets and moons to form new Earths. The central planets formed the Alliance. The savage, outer planets refused Alliance control, resulting in a devastating war. But the Alliance won and now everyone is happy!
We pan out to see that this sterilized version of history is being delivered in front of a classroom. A child asks why the outer planets would even fight them. Another responds that she heard they are cannibals. A third says that only Reavers are cannibals, creatures he insists are real and rape for hours and hours. Gee, thanks for the exposition, you creepy little kid.
The teacher asks why the outer planets would resist their super cool advancements. A girl at the back of the class, eyes never leaving her Outer Space iPad replies, “we meddle.” “River?” the teacher asks. This is little!River! She has full grown River’s voice and it’s weird. Little!River says that people don’t like to be told what to do. “We tell them what to do, what to think. Don’t run, don’t walk. We’re in their homes, and in their heads, and we haven’t the right. We’re meddlesome.”
Sweeney: It adds an appropriately unsettling effect to the scene to have grown!River’s voice coming out of this child’s face.
Lor: The teacher counters that they aren’t trying to tell anyone what to think. They are teaching them how to think. The teacher leans forward and stabs something in Little!River’s forehead and the scene changes. The River we know (Summer Glau) cries out. She is strapped to a chair, a weird needle jammed into the front of her head, as one of the doctors around her says she’s dreaming.
The doctor moves to the front of the room, speaking to an audience we can’t see. He explains that their best work is done when the subject is asleep, allowing them to monitor their subconscious and implant suggestions. Dr. Heartless says that River is their star pupil and the camera pans back to reveal Simon! deadpanning that he’s heard that.
Sara: I know that, for us, it hasn’t been that long since we last saw him, but I was still really SQUEE-y about seeing him for the first time here.
Lor: Seeing Simon is always worthy of a squee.
r. Heartless explains that River is practically insane. Simon cuts him off and asks why he would want an insane psychic? Dr. Heartless says because she’s more than just a psychic. She’s a weapon. Dr. Heartless wonders what the reason for this inspection is, seeing as how he’d previously been told that the Alliance supported this project. Simon ignores him and asks about how she is, physically. Dr. Heartless says all their subjects are conditioned for combat, but River in particular is a “creature of extraordinary grace.” “Yes,” says Simon. “She always did love to dance.” Simon slams down a device that emits some special effects, knocking out all the doctors. Simon quickly unhooks his sister, but she doesn’t stir. He quickly looks down the hall and when he turns back, River is right behind him. Creeeepy. I love you girl, but that was creepy.
Sweeney: That was possibly the most badass moment Simon has ever had. The whole effect of the shot was just super cool.
Lor: Elsewhere in Nefarious HQ, alarms are beeping and the men monitoring these alarms look very concerned. In the hall, Simon hears people coming toward them. River thinks quickly and Spider Man climbs the wall. We see some men pass Simon, and then pan up to see River, hanging out on the ceiling, holding on to a sprinkler.
NBD, NBD.
Sweeney: In that perfect little split pose. I wonder whether Summer Glau’s dance background was something that they’ve just made brilliant use of or was an actual consideration in casting the part. I assume it was the former, but either way it’s a testament to how well done it all is that I truly can’t tell.
Lor: We cut to Simon and River breaking out of Nefarious HQ proper, into some kind of shaft. The roof top access opens up and a ship appears. Simon’s cohorts lower a platform, and up they go. A voice calls, “stop” and the picture of River and Simon on the platform stops. A man walks through the image. Dr. Heartless interrupts this man, The Operative’s, viewing of the footage to yell at him about clearance. The Operative (S: Chiwetel Ejiofor! So cool!) proves he’s allowed to be there.
It’s clear here, then, that we were watching Simon’s original mission to save his sister. I questioned the timing only because Dr. Heartless told Simon things about River’s stripped neural something or other that Simon didn’t know during the episodes. Ariel was the first time Simon seemed to understand what happened to his sister, which is kind of dumb in retrospect, considering the whole, “this is what we did to your sister,” chat Dr. Heartless unwittingly had with him.
Sweeney: I hadn’t really thought about that until you pointed it out. That continuity issue aside, I loved all of this opening. Getting to actually see this bit of backstory is so cool. I was confused for most of it because I assumed the movie would begin after the close of the show. Even in my I-know-nothing-Sweeney-Snow confusion, it was still exciting. I love the way they simultaneously filled in necessary backstory for anyone who might only be seeing the movie while giving show-watchers new stuff. Brilliantly handled.
Lor: The Operative wants to discuss the Tams. Simon spent his whole fortune building the contacts to infiltrate Nefarious HQ. Dr. Heartless calls it madness, but the Operative disagrees. It’s evident on Simon’s face, that he was acting out of love.
Dr. Heartless asks the Operative what he’s really doing at Nefarious HQ. “Do you know what your sin is, doctor?” the Operative asks. And then he answers the question himself: pride. The Operative rewinds the footage to Dr. Heartless gloating over “key members of Parliament” approving his project. The Operative walks us through why this is a bad thing: Dr. Heartless put the minds behind every military, diplomatic, and covert operation in the galaxy in a room with a psychic.
Whoops.
Dr. Heartless stutters that River didn’t tell him any secrets and the Operative wants to make sure she doesn’t tell them to anyone. The Operative says that in ancient civilizations, when men failed as terribly as Dr. Heartless, they would throw themselves on their swords. Dr. Heartless sarcastically notes that he forgot to bring a sword. No sweat, sir! THE OPERATIVE BROUGHT ONE! Dr. Heartless doesn’t know how dead he already is, and tries to tell the Operative to put the sword down. The Operative asks if he’d rather be killed in his sleep, “like an ailing pet.” Um, yes? Is this a trick question? Because yes. (S: +1)
Sweeney: This became a recurring thing. The Operative has some funny ideas about what people should want in a death…
Lor: The guards in the room take steps towards the Operative and he kills them both quickly. Dr. Heartless tries to run away, but the Operative is on him in an instant. The Operative jabs him in the back, disabling him with some sort of nerve-pinch. Dr. Heartless waivers on his feet as the Operative crouches in front of him and places the sword, pointy side up, right in front of his body.
Down the hall, a lady scientist watches in horror. The Operative asks her for all the logs on behavioral modification triggers. He’s going to look for River. Dr. Heartless falls on the sword, and slides down it slowly as the Operative assures him that this is a good death, with no shame in it. That all done, he removes his sword, cleans it, and goes back to the records room. He stands in front of the picture of River, and asks where she’s hiding.
Sara: There are many scenes and lines from Firefly that I regularly remember and think, “Where is that awesome thing from?” and this falling-on-your-sword scene is one of them. IT’S JUST SO COOL.
Lor: In a EW! kind of way.
Title card. The word Serenity becomes the Serenity logo. We pan out and see it is the name outside of Serenity, the ship. I imagine that watching this three or so years after the series ended, seeing this would immediately tug on the heartstrings. It’s home to these characters we love and she’s still flying.
The music picks up, banjos at full throttle, as the ship fires forward. This lovely, feelsy couple of seconds is interrupted when something flies off of the front of the ship and hits the windshield. We head inside, where Captain Malcom Reynolds flinches at the crash. He asks the pilot, Wash, “did the primary buffer panel just fall off my gorramn ship for no apparent reason?” Wash says that landing is going to get interesting, in an “oh God, oh God, we’re all gonna die,” way.
Mal tells Wash to get them on the ground as he leaves, Wash calling back that that part is kind of unavoidable. By the dormitories, Jayne Cobb is leaving his room, strapped in a large number of guns. Malcom tells him he only has two arms, but Jayne likes to keep his options open. This sounds like me when I’m packing too, but with shoes not weapons. Mal tells him this isn’t even a shooting mission, but Jayne points out that things don’t usually go according to plan for them. Mal considers this for a second before compromising: leave the grenades.
Zoe Washburne is the next one Mal sees. She asks if they are crashing again and Mal tells her to go talk to her husband about it. We hear her ask Jayne about his grenades as Mal continues into the kitchen and all the way back into the engine room. Mal yells at Kaylee Frye who tells him that everything is right shiny.
Mal complains that she said the entry couplings would hold for another week. She responds that that was six weeks ago. You’d figure after that one time they got stranded in space, Mal would listen to her warning about ship parts a little more carefully. Mal leaves her to it, and when he turns, he’s face to face with Simon Tam. It’s a shot that mirrors when River snuck up on him. Mal reminds Simon that River will be joining them on this upcoming job. Simon is none-too-pleased, though Mal jokes that on a face like his, you can’t much tell the difference between fear and anger. “Well, I imagine if it were fear,” Simon explains, “my eyes would be wider.”
Mal keeps walking into that back common area and Simon follows, complaining. Mal says that this here is his ship and everyone is a guest on it. Simon thinks he’s earned his keep and Mal doesn’t argue. He just thinks it’s River’s turn to do the same, joining them on their job and lending her psychic abilties. The men end up in the med bay, and without missing a beat, Mal rolls up his sleeves and Simon injects him with something. They are arguing but they still have this routine. With his mouth, Mal is telling Simon he’s a guest, but with his actions, he’s conveying that he’s a trusted member of the crew.
The captain finishes up the last bit of establishing exposition by telling Simon that they’ve had to turn down a number of jobs, just to stay well hidden from the Alliance, all thanks to him and River. If this job goes south, there may not be another. “Don’t push me, and I won’t push you,” Mal tells him, now finally in the cargo bay.
Simon continues up on the catwalk, where he finds River lying down, ear to the floor. Below them, Mal and Zoe continue to talk about whether or not they are going to crash. Simon calls River gently and without looking at him she tells him she knows. She’s going for ride.
I’m such a huge fan of this opening. I loved that the set-up came in the form of this tour of the ship. Crew members pop in, add their two cents, and Mal keeps walking through this place he calls his home. It’s a smart way to push momentum into this expository opening, by literally walking us through it.
Sara: I love it, too! With just a few short interactions between each character, we learn a lot about them right away. Maybe not the an depth analysis, but at least the surface value of each crew member, including Serenity herself. It’s a great way for non-show-watchers to jump in quickly and feel comfortable with this thing we all know and love.
Sweeney: YES! AWESOME. I flailed about this like six times during the Serenity sequence but removed it when I saw you say this here because this is a real comment and my comments were just a lot of capslock and exclamation points. They introduced not only the main characters, but also some key show slang to non-show people without compromising the way the movie flows from the show. SO WELL DONE. I LOVE IT.
Lor: Wash lands Serenity with no explosions. Inside, River walks up behind Mal and he greets her with a, “hey, little one.” He asks if she understands her part in the job and she answers, “do you?” He smiles and tells her this is what he does, but once she’s gone, he’s more sober when he repeats, “this is what I do.”
The crew pack up on the mule, and apparently IT FLIES! This is what happens when you get your own movie. YOUR ATV FLIES. Zoe climbs in the super!mule and says they should hit the town during Sunday worship, so that the town should be pretty empty. For those of you who never read the comic that happens in between episode 14 and the movie, it starts with Shepard Book preaching a sermon as a cover for the crew to pull a job. At the end of that comic, Book decides to leave the ship, which is why he isn’t present now.
Simon tells his sister to stay behind the others and drop to the floor if any fighting breaks out. “It’s okay to leave them to die,” he assures her. Mal says he’s taking River under his protection and will surely get very choked up if anything should happen to her. They take off, leaving Simon and Kaylee on the ship. She tries to comfort him, saying they’ll be back before he can spit, and he just walks away. She smiles after him, awkwardly adding, “well not that you spit…” I guess no progress made on that front.
Planetside, Jayne pretends he doesn’t already know what the job is, giving Mal a chance to explain it to us movie watchers: The Alliance doesn’t have the man power to oversee all of the planets, so some of these outer ones hire private security firms and pay them in cash. They are here to steal that payroll. Jayne wonders if this won’t be directly linked to the Alliance, but Zoe explains that no private firm is going to report being stolen from. They could lose their contract. Jayne is pleased with the job.
Mal and Jayne enter the building first, guns drawn, taking out the first people who try to stop them. They get everyone down on the ground and then Zoe lets River into the building. She’s barefoot, and the camera follows her feet as she steps over a few people, in all of her deadly grace. River stops in the middle of the room and listens closely. The camera does a funky pan diagnolly down and then across the people on the floor. Without turning her head, River lifts a finger and points at a man. Zoe gives her a silent, “really?” and River does the most hilarious, “um, yes,” head nod.
Sara: She’s so cute, I can’t even handle it.
Lor: We see said man is slowly pulling out a gun. Zoe points her much bigger gun at him and tells him that a hero is a person who gets a lot of people killed. He tosses the gun aside.
That all handled, an older man opens up the safe for them, and they find just a few stacks of bills and random coins. Zoe snarks, “At last, we can retire and give up this life of crime.” Mal reaches into the safe and presses a button, revealing a much larger entrance to a much larger vault. The older man identifies them as Browncoats, and notes that petty thieving isn’t soldier’s work. Mal nods, but says the war is over, and they are all just folk now. (S: MORE COMPLETELY CASUAL, UNINTRUSIVE BACKSTORY!!) Mal calls down into the vault, announcing that they are coming to empty it. A guard calls back that he needs an authorization passcode. Jayne shoots down a few rounds. “Okay!” the guard calls.
River stays upstairs and she starts to get nervous. Outside, a child heard the sound of Jayne’s gun, and his mother tells him to run and tell the Lawman about it. We flashcut to a Reaver slashing someone in the face, and then back to River, screaming and falling back. Jayne rushes to her side and asks what’s wrong. She’s shaking as she says, “Reavers.” Outside, we see Reavers dropping off of their ships, townspeople screaming and running.
In the vault, Mal is trying to settle with the guard what kind of injury to give him, to make it seem like he put up a fight. Jayne runs down into the vault to tell them about the Reavers. Mal tells the guard to grab everyone upstairs and lock them in the vault, until they run out of air.
The crew load up super!mule and this time, Zoe is driving. As they are taking off, a man comes running out of the building and hops up on the mule, begging to be taken with them. Mal yells that it’s too much weight, and tries to get the man to go back inside and into the vault. He doesn’t budge, so Mal pushes him off, and the Reavers grab him. Mal turns around and shoots the man in the chest. Zoe floors it as we watch more Reavers doing horrible things, one of them, growling right in the camera’s face.
Sara: And they are SO TERRIFYING. I had forgotten how scary these things are. Yick.
Lor: A Reaver ship pulls up right behind the super!mule. Jayne and Mal shoot at it and wonder why it’s not shooting back. River puts it simply: they want to eat us alive. Jayne grouches that it would nice to have grenades right about now. Zoe calls into Wash and gives him the heads-up about the oncoming trouble. In a scene I’m absolutely certain we’ve seen a time or two, Wash widens his eyes and curses in Mandarin, as he powers up the ship and gets Kaylee and Simon in motion.
Jayne tries to grab some extra clips out of the back of the Mule, and gets harpooned through the leg by the Reavers. They pull him toward their ship, and he tells Mal to shoot him dead if he’s captured. Mal points the gun at him, but only in an attempt to sever the harpoon line. He’s successful on the third try, and lifts Jayne back into the mule.
Zoe flips the mule around so that it is facing the Reaver ship, and then Serenity appears just in time to swallow it, right into the cargo bay. A piece of Reaver debris makes it on board too, but Simon closes the bay doors before anything else makes it inside. He calls after his sister. She is still safely seated inside the super!mule. She does have one complaint though:
Unpleasant, for sure.
Sweeney: BUG SWALLOWING? NEVER GOING ON A MISSION AGAIN.
Lor: Kaylee runs to Simon and asks if he’s okay. Mal indignantly asks, “is he okay?” when suddenly, from behind him, a Reaver stands and growls. Mal, Jayne and Zoe all draw their weapons and shoot it down in an instant. After a beat, we hear Wash call down into the cargo bay, asking if everything is alright. I bet being a pilot, and being in the bridge all the time, means you develop a wicked case of FOMO.
Zoe calls him to tell him there are no casualties and he compliments her on her flying. Mal starts giving an order about the dead Reaver body when Simon punches him IN THE FACE. Simon is pissed about the danger River found herself in. Mal says River is perfectly safe, if still crazy. Zoe explains that River saved their lives, but it doesn’t seem to make much difference to Simon. She’ll never go out on a job again. Mal doesn’t like to be told what to do on his own ship, so Simon says that once River gets her cut of the bounty, they’ll be off the ship. Kaylee tries to intervene, but Mal seems all too pleased to let those two off at the next stop, in ten hours time. River stares at the dead Reaver as she notes, “he didn’t lie down. They never lie down.“
Zoe walks with Mal back into the dormitory area. She says that they might be better off without River and Simon, but it won’t be a long lasting safety. Mal thinks it’s irrelevant; the doctor made his call. He think he’s offered the Tams enough protection. It’s time for them to cut loose and stand on their own. “Like that man back in town,” she asks. Zoe admits that shooting him was a piece of mercy, but wants to know about Mal’s actions before that, when he pushed the man off instead of taking him on the mule. Mal argues again that it was too heavy and Zoe pushes him, asking if he knows that for sure. He could’ve gotten rid of the payload. Mal scoffs at the idea. His ship is falling apart, his crew hasn’t been paid, and they need to eat. Plus, Fanty and Mingo wouldn’t be happy to hear the job wasn’t successful. Zoe says she isn’t disagreeing with his points. Back during the war, though, they wouldn’t ever leave a man behind. “Maybe that’s why we lost,” he says, as he climbs down into his bunk.
Sweeney: I love that it was left in that gray zone. It is complicated and they’re both right. These points would all be correct even if the conversation didn’t happen but the fact that the show/movie finds ways to address this complexity and what that does to its characters is part of why it’s so brilliant.
Lor: Jayne is dumping the Reaver body and debris as he talks about his difficulty understanding Reavers. He lists the many reasons why he might kill a man, but doesn’t understand how eating people is “fun.”
River is lying up on the catwalk again, listening.
In his room, Mal is watching home videos of Inara, sadly. In the video, Kaylee insists that the Captain wants her to stay on board, but Inara says Mal doesn’t know what he wants.
Serenity docks on Beaumonde. Kaylee is like a nervous mother on the first day of school. She gives Simon tips on how to find a new ride. Mal walks past them, without a word to Simon. Kaylee is almost crying. He says her name gently, so she turns to him, but only for a moment, before walking away. Simon asks River if she wants to stay with them, but River says it isn’t safe. Simon agrees and walks off, so River adds to herself, “for them.” Whenever anyone talks to River they should pretend to walk off, and then just hurry back to see if she added an creepy addendums. I know that’s what I would do.
At a busy market of sorts, Kaylee walks after Mal trying to talk about Simon. Mal has to check his weapon at some lockers. Zoe tells Kaylee that Mal didn’t make the Tams fugitives, but Kaylee counters that he could’ve made them family. Her real concern is that she carried such a torch for Simon and he never noticed. “We’re going on a year now, I ain’t had nothing twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries.” Mal, of course, freaks out saying he can’t know these things. Jayne smarms that he could stand to hear some more. Mal bluntly tells Kaylee that Simon could’ve both protected River and made the moves on her. “If I truly wanted someone bad enough,” he says, “wouldn’t be a thing in the ‘verse could stop me from going to her.” It’s a total cheap shot, but Kaylee has this handled: Tell that to Inara. You totally set yourself up, Mal.
Sweeney: Word. Know your own shit before you go running around making sweeping statements about everybody else’s.
Lor: Mal meets his two movie versions of Badger, Fanty and Mingo, to talk business over drinks. Those two want a bigger piece of the cut, given how unpredictable Mal is. River walks into the bar and her attention is caught by a Fruity Oaty Bar commercial on one of the TVs. An octopus comes flying across the screen and River’s face is washed in blue. She flashes back to her days at Nefarious HQ. She has a flash of a Reaver. “Miranda,” she says before opening a can of whoop ass on every single person at the bar. After the first punches and kicks, the lighting and noise return to normal. Jayne and Mal look out to see what’s happening, but they weren’t expecting to see River. Fanty (or Mingo) asks if Mal knows that girl. “I really don’t.” River continues to fight in the most beautiful, devastating way. It’s deliberate and graceful as all get out. Jayne tries to stop her, tries to reason with her, but she grabs him by the literal balls and then knocks him out. Mal makes it all the way up to the gun locker, and points his gun at her at the same moment she points hers at him. It’s a standoff resolved by Simon appearing and calling out a phrase in Russian that makes River fall asleep. Mal goes down into the pit and picks up her limp body.
On the Operative’s ship, he watches footage of Mal picking up River, and then smiles to himself while he reads a file on Mal.
Back on Serenity, Mal handcuffs River inside the pantry. In the kitchen, the crew is gathered as Mal demands an explanation. The people who helped Simon break River out taught him a just-in-case safeword. Simon starts to repeat the phrase and Jayne jumps up. Zoe explains that it only works on River and he’s all, “oh. Well. In that case…” Mal grabs Simon by the collar and pushes him on the table, yelling that all this time Simon never told him a thing. River wakes up as the fight continues. “Who we gonna find in there when she wakes up? The girl? Or the weapon?” Simon thought she was getting better. Jayne reminds everyone how the plan was to let them get off the ship. Mal doesn’t answer.
Sara: For real though, it probably would have been helpful for someone else to know the safe word for the crazy assassin girl.
Lor: Simon asks to see his sister, and Mal steps aside to let him. Jayne says if River goes all whooly, they’ll have to shoot her. In a split screen, we see Mal and River both say, “It’s crossed my mind.” It’s probably a psychic thing, but I think there’s a bit to the fact that River has also considered eliminating herself from the equation. Wash offers a non-violent suggestion, since they are flying blinder than usual: a visit to Mr. Universe.
And with that, I hand off to Sara.
Sara: Far away across the galaxy, Mr. Universe ends up being David Krumholtz, and every time I see him in something new, I say, “That’s the kid with the dick and balls on his face!” (10 Things I Hate About You).
Sweeney: Forever and ever. I’d say, “Poor guy,” but I love that movie and it’s with the utmost love that I think, “That’s the kid with the dick and balls on his face.” Only love, my friend. Only love.
Sara: He’s a complete and total nerd who is futuristic Skyping with Mal and Zoe (which is basically like regular Skyping except less screen freezes and accidental hang ups), while watching the video of River kicking ass. They ask him if the video has reached the internet or police, but no, it hasn’t been released there. Although when he broke into the security camera to take the video, he could tell that he wasn’t the first person to break into the footage.
Zoe repeats that someone has already seen the video, and Mr. Universe flirts that she shouldn’t fall in love with him because he already has a love – a love-bot to be specific. Lenora the love-bot waves her robot hand in the background, as Mr. Universe shares video footage of their wedding, which is hilarious and also kept with Jewish customs.
Mal and Zoe look a little uncomfortable until Mr. Universe flips the video back over to the Kickass River clip, and Mal asks if he can rewind the tape and see if she was talking to anyone before she started ninja-ing. Upon rewinding, they hear River say, “Miranda,” and Mr. Universe notices that the commercial triggered River with subliminal messaging. He says the code is familiar, as it is Alliance code and has been all over for the past few weeks. He creepily warns them that the military has gone through a lot of trouble to track down their little friend.
Back in the pantry, Simon is cleaning up River’s cuts as she crazies. “Show me off like a dog. Old men covered in blood, never touched them but they’re drowning in it.” She cries that she never knows what she’s saying, and I am right there with you, girl. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
Lor: I feel so much for her. I can’t imagine almost constantly living with that, “WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING?” feeling. Like being sloppy drunk, all the time.
Sara: Simon tells her that Mal heard her say something before she attacked everyone and wonders if she remembers what it was. She tells him, “Miranda,” and he asks for more information but she just says he’ll have to ask Miranda. “…am I talking to Miranda right now?” he asks her, and River gives this great, ‘Don’t be stupid’ face that I have given to my siblings many, many times. I love these little lucid moments of hers in between all of the crazy.
Sweeney: They’re also heartbreaking because she knows how gone she is and so her lucid moments are painful. These particular lucid moments are amazing because they’re brief and fleeting moments where some other piece of her history (i.e., a sibling relationship) can take precedence over the recognition that she’s unwell.
Sara: Simon says that it just seemed like when she was triggered, she was hit with a memory, and River cries that it isn’t her memory and she shouldn’t have to carry it. She begs him not to make her sleep again, and he promises that he won’t. She tells him to put a bullet in her and giggles as she pictures herself holding a gun up to her own head. Simon sweetly tells her they’ll get through this, but River knows that things are going to get much, much worse. (L: Still so much movie!)
Inara(!) is waiting for her next client outside, at a beautiful chapel, when The Operative walks up and her face drops.
Serenity lands at Haven and when the doors open, Book(!) is standing outside. He quickly hugs Zoe and the whole gang head out with him to the planet. Judging by the hugs and handshakes going on between the citizens and the crew, they come here often to visit and/or hide out.
Next to a campfire that night, Mal and Book stand off to the side as Mal thanks Book for taking them in again. (S: !!! stand-in for his backstory as a part of the ship – simplifies to point out that they have important history!) He’s worried that the military will show up any minute for River, but Book knows that won’t happen because they’re keeping this whole hunt a secret. There are no warrants and no messages online, which can only mean that the Alliance wants her hidden as badly as they want her found. He tells Mal that he won’t be seeing a military, but an operative. THE Operative, actually!
Sweeney: Has Book been reading our recaps while he hangs out at Haven?
Sara: Mal doesn’t understand why he didn’t just leave her when he had the chance, since he’s now endangering his whole crew, but Book shares that it’s just Mal’s way. He doesn’t need a plan because he has belief. Mal assumes Book is talking about God and rolls his eyes about how sermons make him sleepy. Book thinks it’s funny that Mal always assumes he’s talking about God when he talks about faith. (S: Love this bit of Book Wisdom.) The Operative sent to the crew will surely believe in something, so it’s important that Mal believe in something, too, to help him survive.
The teacher from earlier is back in one of River’s visions, and she’s telling all the kids in the classroom to lie down. River refuses and the teacher’s face quickly flashes, showing something beneath. The entire class, including the teacher, lie down as River stays sitting and refusing. She wakes with a start, still handcuffed in the pantry. She hears a man saying, “Cut them down!” in her head and freaks.
In Mal’s bedroom, he is sleeping (shirtless, praise be to the gods) when he receives a video call from Inara. They have polite and completely awkward conversation, and we see that Zoe, Wash, and Jayne are all listening in on this call like your little sister used to do in 1999. Also, they are literally eating popcorn as they watch. It’s fantastic. Inara tells Mal that there’s been some trouble in the area lately, and she’d like them to stop by, just in case. Mal struggles for something to say because he’s being a total middle schooler right now. When he finally says that Kaylee’s missed her something fierce, the crew groans and throws popcorn at the monitor. Hee!
Mal, unfortunately wearing a shirt, comes upstairs to join the rest of the gang. Wash says it was good to see Inara again. After a beat, Zoe says, “So…. trap?” and Mal agrees, “Trap.” He tells them they need to get ready to go in there and Kaylee questions why he automatically assumes it’s a trap and not that Inara just wants to talk to him. “Did you hear us fight?” “No.” “It’s a trap.”
Later, Wash lets Mal know that they’ll be landing soon.
Inara is praying at an altar when Mal kneels next to her, with a ridiculous robe over his head. “Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket.” Inara freaks out at him for coming when it was obviously a trap, and Mal just plays around with her, not caring as much as he definitely should be caring. She starts to tell him that he can’t handle this man when The Operative walks right in.
The Operative tells Mal that he’s impressed he came for Inara himself, and even more impressed that he got this far with that silly robe on. Mal protests that he can be very graceful. As he continues to snark with The Operative, Inara lights another candle to pray for Mal, because man, he is gonna need it.
The Operative tells Mal that River will bring him and the Serenity nothing but trouble, and he can’t beat them. He’s free to go on his way as soon as he hands River over. The Operative warns him that he has a warship locked on to the Serenity right now, and all he has to do is speak one word to get the entire thing blown to pieces. Mal tosses him the tracking device that was supposedly on his ship, and The Operative looks a teensy bit chastised for being so confident. Just a teensy bit, though.
Sweeney: “Ugh, fine, you got me. I’m still Chiwetel Ejiofor, bitch.”
Sara: Mal keeps trying to snark with The Operative, but he interrupts to calmly say that he won’t be able to make him angry. Inara, still behind Mal, pipes in. “Spend an hour with him.” Hee! The Operative has a seat and goes on that he isn’t threatening Mal and he’s unarmed… to which Mal pulls out his pistol and shoots him right in the chest. That is why this show is so much better than others. How great that we don’t have to listen to another ten minutes of boring monologue, with the entire audience saying, “Just shoot him already!”
Unfortunately for Mal, The Operative was, of course, wearing full body armor and grabs him by the neck to pull him back in for a fight. This is why you should always aim for the head when you’re killing an assassin. (S: More life-saving advice from The Snark Squad! You’re all welcome.) The boys fight, and Inara tries to jump in to help, but The Operative just punches and kicks her away, too. Equal opportunity fighter, I see! (L: Points to Inara for getting up and trying again! I would’ve probably played dead.)
The Operative wins the first sparring pretty easily and Mal ends up thrown to the floor. When he stands again, he looks like total crap but his opponent still looks calm, cool, and collected. Mal tells him to go ahead and call the backup in, but The Operative replies that they’ll come when they’re needed. Mal goes back in for another spar, and again ends up being beat to the floor. He’s losing pretty damn bad. As Mal crawls for his gun, The Operative retrieves his sword and tells Mal that he is not some plucky hero, and this isn’t some great arena. Inara, in the corner, motions to the altar. “That’s not incense.” And it explodes, throwing The Operative across the room and out of commission.
He sends his backup guys after Inara and Mal, but they’ve already made it to Inara’s shuttle and are flying back to Serenity. Yay! Inara’s on her way home! Back on the ground, The Operative tells his men to track the ship, but it turns out that the Serenity crew are kind of professionals at hiding themselves, even from trained assassins.
Sweeney: “This is what I do.“
Sara: Back on the ship, Inara tells them that The Operative is a person they cannot fight. It’s not just that he’s strong, it’s that he’s a believer. He’s strong and smart and fully believes that killing River is the right thing to do. Simon asks if he mentioned anything about Miranda, but Inara doesn’t know anything. They can only assume that whoever or whatever Miranda is will be a threat to the Alliance, if they want River dead so badly. Mal tells the crew that, for now, they’re heading back to Haven to stay with Book. Jayne scoffs at the idea of hiding out, and Mal yell asks him if wants to run this ship.
Sara: Jayne thinks it’s crap that Mal is endangering the whole crew for two people. He goes too far, asking how many men in his platoon during the war came out alive. Mal stares at him, and Zoe tells Jayne he wants to leave the room. He stomps out.
Inara tells him that this isn’t like the war. He can’t go around looking for a fight. She worries because she’s seen so many sides of him and doesn’t know which side is going to come out during this fight. Mal warns her that she’ll definitely see a different side of him. As he then stomps out and Inara chases him, Simon says that he and River can leave the crew when they land at Haven, but Kaylee assures him that no one is saying that. Wash corrects that to, “Nobody besides Jayne is saying that.”
Out in the hallway, Mal gripes at Inara that she can’t confront him like that in front of the crew. Every time she’s around, things get all fogged up for him. As he leaves, he mutters that he wishes she was elsewhere, and she sighs and shakes her head, saying, “I was.” JUST KISS ALREADY.
River is in her Dreamy Fairy World, with blood dripping down her forehead where the needle was at the beginning of the movie. She sees flashes of corpses laying all around her and then a Reaver shows up next to her grabbing her face, traumatizing me, and waking her up.
Sulking by himself, Jayne pours himself a shot and says something in Chinese as he stalks towards the door where River is being kept, pulling his gun out on the way. He tells her to be calm and that they’re just going for a nice shuttle ride. As he enters the small room, we see River is again hanging out on the ceiling, hiding from him.
Back in another part of the ship, where the rest of the crew is, they hear a gunshot and everyone starts rushing towards the noise. When they look in the dining area, they see that Jayne is knocked out on the floor and River is nowhere to be seen. They all separate to find her, but Simon stays behind, staring in the window of the dining room door. River creepies in front of it, again scaring the shit out of me. Simon starts to tell her it’s okay, but she chops him right in the throat (Throat Punch Todd tag?!) (L: Anytime it makes even the most miniscule amount of sense to use it? YES.) and kicks him so hard, it knocks him out and he falls back into the hallway. She stands over him with giant eyes and a gun. (L: Big Eyes Mean Bad Things.)
The search party notes that River has shut off access to the bridge which makes them nervous. Mal sneaks in through some air ducts, and quietly creeps into the control room. He starts towards River, who has her back turned as she stares at a computer screen, but before he can make a move, she lifts her gun behind her and points it straight at him without ever looking. She’s too badass for her own good.
Mal tells her that The Operative told him she isn’t worth saving, but he thinks she’s a person and not just a weapon. If he’s wrong, she should just shoot him now. She cocks the gun and he quickly backtracks, saying they could probably talk some more first. She pulls up a picture of a planet and points to it, showing him. “Miranda.”
Later, the whole crew is assembled in the bridge and discussing how it’s possible that there could be a whole planet called Miranda that none of them know about. Mal says that it’s an uninhabitable planet, that’s why. Some settlers were sent there a long time ago, but they all died. In the corner, River quietly apologizes to Simon for throat chopping him but says she had to show them. “You could have just asked,” he wheezes while he rubs his throat. (S: So that moment had Throat Punch Todd and just a dash of Toby Edit! So much made up crossover magic!) Back in the main conversation, Kaylee suddenly remembers way before the war, when there were calls for people who wanted to settle a new planet called Miranda. Wash thinks it’s strange that he can’t find anything about it on the history books, but Mal tells him that half of writing history is hiding the truth and that there’s something on that planet that the Alliance wants to keep hidden.
Inara says they should just go there, but Wash and Zoe tell them why that’s not a possibility. Between Haven (where they’re about to land) and Miranda, there are tons of Reaver ships, just sitting in the blackness, waiting for people to come by. That’s all you’d have to tell me! Sorry, River!
As Wash prepares the ship to land, they get their first look at Haven, and it’s been completely destroyed. Everything is smoking or on fire, and there are no people to be seen anywhere. They land, and everyone runs out, checking on the bodies laying all around. Mal confirms that this wasn’t the work of Reavers, but the work of the Alliance. They separate. Kaylee spots the little boy she hugged from earlier. Mal spots Book, laying on the ground, obviously dying, and he calls out to Jayne to get Simon quickly.
Mal goes to Book and holds his hand, telling him that it should have been him the Alliance went after, not them. Book can barely wheeze out, “That crossed my mind.” He’s even cracking jokes on his deathbed. This show. Book tells him that he took the ship down and killed the people who killed them. Mal assures him that he did what was right, and Book jokes that coming from Mal, that means almost nothing. Book says he doesn’t have much longer. Mal tells him that he’ll be fine once they get Simon, and he can’t go anywhere just yet.
Sweeney: I SAID I BRACED MYSELF FOR CHARACTER DEATH BUT I LIED BECAUSE HOW DO YOU PREPARE WHYWHYWHY TAKE IT BACK!
Lor: It hurts every stinkin’ time.
Sara: The others run up, but it’s too late. Jayne wants to know how the Alliance knew they would be coming there, but Zoe says they didn’t. Then she turns to Wash and tells him to contact everybody who’s ever sheltered them after a heist and warn them to get out now.
We cut to footage being watched on a monitor. All dead bodies, in various places. After the footage rolls, The Operative appears on screen and apologizes to Mal, who stands alone watching, looking the saddest I’ve ever seen him. The Operative says that he should have taken his offer the first time, and this is all Mal’s fault. Mal argues that he doesn’t murder children, and The Operative shares that he does when he has to.
Mal wants to know if he even knows why the Alliance sent him, but The Operative doesn’t know and it isn’t important. He believes in a world without sin, and he’s convinced that this is what he’s fighting for. He knows he won’t get to live in that perfect world, because he isn’t a good person. But he wants that world for the greater good, and he believes that what he does is for a purpose. He warns Mal that the longer they keep River away, the more people will die, and Mal bites back, “You think I care?” “Of course you care. You’re not a Reaver, Mal. You’re a human man, and you will never understand…” Mal shuts the video call off and heads outside to talk to the crew.
Outside, Mal tells the crew that they need to string some of the dead bodies up on Serenity and find some red paint to make their ship look like a Reaver ship because they’re heading to Miranda. The entire crew protests with disgust and fear and anger, but Mal DGAF. He tells them they can either help him or fuck off. Before stalking away, he pulls out his pistol and shoots behind the crew, at one surviving Alliance member, crawling out of his ruined ship.
Later, Serenity is hurtling through space, on her way straight to danger. Mal asks Zoe to tell him when they’re close as he goes to be alone. Shit, who wouldn’t need some time alone after that fucking day?
A bit later, Serenity slowly makes her way into the mass of Reaver ships. The quiet is terrifying, and the entire crew stands in the bridge, looking out and saying nothing. Once they clear the other side, everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Back with The Operative, he asks his crew to define disappeared. Looks like the plan worked!
Sweeney: This was so intense and I was so terrified for them and sad for Mal having to tarnish his ruined ship and also Book is dead and OH MY GOD THERE ARE TOO MANY FEELINGS GOING ON RIGHT NOW.
Lor: Seriously, the defaced Serenity might as well be a character death. The tension in those few moments of them floating in space is amazingly crafted.
Sara: As Serenity approaches Miranda, they note that everything looks habitable, which is strange since it’s listed as an inhabitable planet. Wash finds sign of a beacon, and Mal tells him to track it down. They exit the ship and move towards the beacon on the radar. As they get closer to buildings, they see corpses lying on the ground with no entry wounds or fractures or any valid reason for death. Mal wonders if it was poison.
Lights come on in a building behind them, and when Kaylee turns around, she’s staring right into the face of another corpse, standing by the window. They look inside and see an entire room full of corpses. None of them are showing signs of pain or discoloration. They haven’t fallen down, they just laid down on the floor and died. (Also a callback to River’s dream earlier, when the classroom of children was all laying down and she didn’t want to.)
River starts panicking. “Make them stop. They’re everywhere. They’re all inside me. I can hear them all, and they’re saying nothing. Get up, please get up. Please, God, make me a stone.” I imagine that if you were a psychic and could hear everyone’s thoughts all the time, being around corpses with no thoughts at all would be pretty terrifying. The silence would probably feel overwhelming in that situation. Poor River. Jayne wants them to shut River up because she’s freaking him out. Wash just says they need to go find the beacon.
And now it’s time for the last part and Sweeney to take over!
Sweeney: THIS IS TOO INTENSE. I DON’T THINK I CAN DO IT. But I’ll try really hard. They make their way inside a super damaged ship. As everyone else looks around, River goes directly to a clear little object which, when she turns it, makes SARAH PAULSON pop up. Sarah Paulson shows images of all the dead people and explains that it’s worse than they thought – everyone is dead, but there has been no war or terraforming event to explain it. Instead, this was caused by a drug that The Alliance put in the air to neutralize aggression. It did, indeed, stop people from fighting, but it went too far – it stopped them from doing much of anything until they all just laid down and died where they were. This was the tragic effect it had on 90% of the population. The other 10%? The opposite. They went batshit. The Alliance created Reavers – which also explains why Reaver Central happens to be so close to this planet – it’s where they came from. Sarah Paulson explains that she doesn’t have much time and won’t live to report this information itself, we hear and see as Reavers break into where she’s recording this. I started shouting, “TURN IT OFF,” at my screen about two seconds before Jayne said the same.
Sara: I had completely forgotten this bit of information from my first watch, and it was just as horrifying to learn it the second time. Sads.
Lor: To tie it around to that great observation Sara had about River’s dream where she didn’t want to lie down, earlier, when she saw the dead Reaver, River said of it that they never lie down. The Reavers were the ones who didn’t lie down.
Sweeney: Once it’s turned off, River vomits. Simon goes to comfort her. “I’m all right,” she says. She slowly looks at him and then repeats this, suggesting that coming to the source of her nightmares helped make her whole again.
Back on the ship, it’s time for Mal to make the big hero speech. He explains that this is what The Alliance feared River knew, and rightfully so, because now they’re going to make sure the whole ‘verse sees what they did. “Somebody has to speak for these people.” He explains that whatever brought them there, they’re all there now and now Mal’s about to ask more of them – maybe all of them – because The Alliance will try this shit again. “No more running. I aim to misbehave.” Such a kickass line. I fucking love that. Jayne adds, “Shepherd Book once told me if you can’t do something smart, do something right,” and takes a drink.
Now for the part about having a plan: Mr. Universe has the broadcasting power to get that message out. Zoe says that The Alliance surely knows about Mr. Universe, and what with the space they have to cover to get there, they’re likely to see this coming. Mal assures them that they won’t see this coming, though it’s not quite time for us to see what this is yet.
A bit later, the crew is on board Serenity and contacting Mr. Universe who is promising them that he will transmit their message to “the eyes and the ears of the ‘verse.” As he’s promising to let them know if anyone else comes to him, we see that his space is full of Alliance troops. The call ends and he asks The Operative to pay up and is promptly stabbed in the gut. We just saw this same thing play out on Game of Thrones – Dantos received his payment for rescuing Sansa in the form of his body being riddled with arrows. We complain about being unpaid bloggers, but maybe I’m OK with the lack of payment when “payment” keeps translating to “murder.” (L: OOOOH. So maybe we should never ask the TV Networks that own the shows we harpoon for money. Got it.) The Operative orders his men to destroy Mr. Universe’s shit because they’re going to meet Serenity in the air.
Reaver-disguised Serenity is floating gently through that Reaver territory. Just as they clear it, they fire on the ship directly behind them and take off, fast as they can, causing the entire horde of Reaver ships to pursue them. I’ll be honest and say that I did not actually understand what was happening or why they were doing this until we cut back to The Operative and his men, noting that they were reading activity in The Reaver Cloud. Sure enough, The Operative does some gloating about how Mal should have just handed River over and is legit flying straight at them. This is some weird villain gloating because if he’d talked just the tiniest bit less, he might have taken Mal out. Wouldn’t have done much about the unholy terror Mal was bringing to him, but at least achieved his actual objective. Regardless, The Operative’s villain gloating is cut short when Serenity is promptly followed by a shit ton of Reaver ships. The Operative orders his men to fire at fucking anything, but mostly the Reaver ships instead of Serenity now. Wash is able to maneuver Serenity through this shit show and down to Mr. Universe’s planet, and he’s adorable about it, too.
YEAH YOU ARE, WASH. YOU’RE A LEAF ON THE WIND.
As they come into the planet hard, we see The Operative jump in a solo space pod of some sort, heading to the planet while his men all die fighting off the Reavers. Serenity suffers some serious enemy fire on its way down, cutting power, and sending Jayne flying into every damn wall on the ship, not being strapped in yet. As a result, the ship’s landing is a little more of the, “destroying the ship and narrowly avoiding murdering everyone on board,” variety than a gentle leaf landing. But land them safely he does! Like a fucking boss. Like a leaf on the wind.
I don’t know what I was looking at when I watched this last night, but shortly after this, I looked up at something just above the screen as the crew was taking a moment to breath their big sigh of relief at having landed successfully. I know this because I was completely fucking shell shocked when that moment of silence was interrupted by Wash’s, “‘I’m a leaf on the wind, watch how I –” and then aborted by his being impaled by something sharp. You guys. I took a really long break from recapping to get wicked fucking drunk once the Reaver showdown began. And I’m only about ten minutes into my section of the movie. So, like, that’s how well this is going. Excuse me while I sob until I devolve into a puddle of wine tears. HOW. WHY. NO.
My feelings aside, part of me appreciates this as a brilliantly compelling (albeit gut-wrenching) turn in the story. It successfully shocked me. I went into this expecting massive character death and still this caught me way the fuck off guard. More importantly: they went into this ready to lay their lives on the line. That has been the recurring theme of the whole damn movie – that The Operative’s advantage was his ardent belief in his cause, and Mal’s hero speechifying was the moment in which he followed Book’s dying request that he believe in something and the reality of what they came in there to do is that blood would be spilled.
Sara: WORST. NO. CAN’T HANDLE.
Lor: And it hurts every stinkin’ time.
Sweeney: Of course, none of that makes this character death feel any less like my soul got stomped. Watching Zoe say, “Baby, we gotta go,” doesn’t help either. Mal manages to get everyone, including Zoe, off the ship. They reach a main entrance door and Zoe insists that it’s a hold point. Kaylee can rig the door to shut behind them if Mal goes in. There will be no staying together, though, because this is a bottleneck and they’ll need to draw Reavers until the job is done. “This is the place. We’ll buy you the time,” she says, coldly. As Jayne’s telling everyone to move crates, Kaylee asks where Wash is. “He ain’t comin’,” Zoe answers, and fuck. Guys. I can’t even do the whole, “NO, YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN YOUR EYE,” because if that shit didn’t make you cry ugly tears, you need to get the fuck out of here.
Jayne’s brash nature is actually probably the best thing for the situation, because the beat we take for this moment is interrupted by him telling everyone to “move the gorram crates.” Then Mal asks if he brought his grenades this time, which he did. He tosses one to clear the way for Mal, who makes sure Zoe’s really there and able to do this job before going in. Once he’s gone, Jayne agrees that thinking on revenge isn’t going to help get them through this. (This is a less useful example of that brash nature.) Zoe’s nonplussed, though: “Do you really think any of us are going to get through this?” Jayne takes stock of his companions and decides that at least he might, though he’s not super convincing when he says it.
Mal makes his way to Mr. Universe’s HQ only to find him dead and his shit destroyed. He sees that Mr. Universe is resting his dead head on his robot wife’s lap. Mal takes a moment to kneel before him and process this and then the Robot Wife starts talking. “Mal, guy killed me. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?” Robot Wife continues to deliver Mr. Universe’s final message, which is that he has more equipment that’s hard to get to, but that he’s sure The Operative’s men didn’t find. He sends Mal to it. “They can’t stop the signal now. They can never stop the signal.” Mal sets off.
Sara: For having only met Mr. Universe for a hot minute, I was pretty sad about his death and happy that he at least had his Robot Wife to die next to. (What a creepy thing to type.)
Sweeney: Back at the bottleneck, River’s back into panic mode, because the Reavers are in her head and she can’t shut them up. So much for being freed by seeing the nightmare. As everyone gets into position – with Jayne ordering them to hold until he tells them to start firing – Kaylee takes a moment to process how this is so not the end she had in mind. There’s a little moment that struck me as a tiny bit trite for the character and the scene, but a deliberate little gender flipping because we see dudes pull shit like this in action movies all. the. time., Kaylee gets a second wind when Simon confesses that not being with Kaylee is one of his big regrets. Kaylee decides that the promise of sex is reason enough to keep going.
Backup Universe. As Mal starts to make his way to the equipment monkey bars style, he’s shot in the back by The Operative, though whatever he’s shot with just stuns him a bit, because it’s time for these two to have some pre-fight banter in order to lead to some in-fight banter. The pre-fight banter is that Mal now knows the truth about how fucked up The Alliance really is (the truth The Operative didn’t feel the need to know) and yes he is now willing to die for that belief. This time, though, Mal gets a more effective shot off at The Operative, buying him time to start climbing across.
Lots of quick shots of fighting. Mal and The Operative concurrently fight and make their way to the backup equipment. Zoe has to get bandaged up by Simon mid-fight. Mal and The Operative make it to the suspended platform and fight some more.
At the bottleneck, Zoe gets back in the game, but things aren’t looking good, with Jayne and Kaylee both taking hits while River squirms in a corner. Zoe orders everyone to fall back. Unfortunately, the door sticks and doesn’t close all the way behind them. Jayne has one more grenade to throw, in order to buy them time to process their situation. Kaylee, who has been paralyzed by whatever stuck her in the neck, insists that she can close the door from the outside, but that’s a suicide mission. Simon realizes that he needs stuff for Kaylee from his bag, which is still on the other side. Just as he goes toward the door, he’s hit. Sweeney Snow did not take this well. BUT THEN! Then River BAMFs out and it’s kind of worth it.
And with that, badass River runs through the door, pushes a button and tosses Simon’s bag through just before it closes and we see Reavers grabbing her.
Backup Universe. The fight takes a bad turn for Mal and The Operative repeats his earlier line, asking Mal if he knows what his sin is. I’m actually a little bummed that this question isn’t answered outright! It isn’t because Mal cuts that shit off, noting that he’s a fan of all seven. Right now WRATH is #1 game. We see Zoe telling the others that she’s convinced that Mal got through, just as The Operative does his paralyzing lower-back-jab maneuver that we saw earlier. Mal tenses as The Operative struts off to do even more villain gloating. His sin is not knowing when to shut the fuck up. I’m grateful for our crew that he’s so chatty, but man this thing might have gone down differently otherwise.
Lor: Truly, though, of aaaall the Villain Gloating we’ve seen, I buy larger chunks (though not all) of it from The Operative, because he just looks like a long winded jerk. Those who believe things strongly do have a weakness for sermons.
Sweeney: Once The Operative moves a couple paces away, Mal reveals that the particular nerve The Operative targeted was hit during the war. Mal disables The Operative, including temporary vocal chord disabling, and then straps him to the fence with his own sword. Mal’s not going to kill him and, instead, will grant his greatest wish: showing him a world without sin. He starts the tape of Sarah Paulson and triggers the bridge to walk back across while The Operative watches and in spite of all his other pain and inability to move much, is clearly shaken by what he sees.
Sara: It’s a seriously beautiful shot. He does a really amazing job of putting so much feeling into his eyes, and leaving the rest of his face paralyzed.
Sweeney: Bottleneck. River is doing more of her BAMF Ballerina fighting and truly there is no other way to describe this. She becomes more graceful with each appearance. In this fight, in particular, there’s this maneuver where she bends backwards and swings an arm around. It’s pure ballerina, but also she slices open half a dozen Reavers.
On the other side of the door, Mal emerges from an elevator. He tells his crew that the job is done and asks for a report, namely the whereabouts of River. As they try to find the words, the door opens again, to reveal River in all her badass glory, holding her weapons and standing in a pile of Reaver carcasses. A moment later, the wall explodes to reveal Alliance men, ordering her to drop her weapons. They shout, asking for their kill order and there’s a dramatic pause before The Operative, who has now found his words again, tells them to stand down because, “It’s finished. We’re finished.”
Sara: Not to keep yelling BEAUTIFUL! at every scene, but holy shit, that shot of River standing with the door exploded behind her? AMAZING. INCREDIBLE. SO PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND I WANT THIS POSTER ON MY WALL.
Lor: Slightly reminiscent of Buffy holding her hunga munga, no?
Sweeney: YES. To both things.
Now that all that action has settled, it’s time to feel another hundred million feelings as the crew hold a big funeral for Wash, Book, and Mr. Universe. Zoe is wearing a white striped dress (wedding dress?) (S: Apparently it’s Chinese tradition to wear white to funerals. Special features secrets.) and looking lovely and sad and everyone stands around feeling their feelings and letting the audience feel their feelings and it’s all just a whole lot to take in.
It has to happen, though, to make way for the optimistic montage that follows. The crew is rebuilding and repainting Serenity and also Kaylee and Simon are getting that long overdue sex. The montage transitions into Mal loading up the last of the ship’s contents on a rainy day. He’s interrupted by The Operative, explaining that it’s unlikely that The Alliance will forgive this, even if The Operative did insist that the Tams are no longer a threat, with the damage having been done. The Miranda situation has weakened them, but they’re not gone. Mal notes that their unforgiving nature doesn’t bode well for The Operative, and also that he’ll murder his face off if they ever meet again. The Operative gets this and seems ready to put his nonexistence clause into effect to resolve both of these problems.
On board the ship, we get a sort of echo of the movie’s first scene on Serenity, but now with 100% more feelings and the orchestra of feels to match. Zoe tells Mal that they are now ready to get flying.
Lor: Mal asks how the ship is doing, but it’s so loaded with “how are you doing?” feels. I choke up when Zoe says it/she is beaten up but will fly true.
Sweeney: He tells her it could be bumpy. “Always is,” she says. Mal makes his way to the bridge and passes Inara, asking if she’s ready to get back to her civilized life, but she’s not sure.
Sara: Just reading that gave me goosebumps. God bless this show.
Sweeney: River notes that the storm is getting worse. “We’ll pass through it soon enough,” Mal answers. If ever there was a “LOOK AT ALL THE METAPHORS” moment, it was that one. And on that lovely note, we watch as Serenity soars through the storm and emerges on the other side, beautifully. Just to remind us that they know what they just did there, though, a piece of the ship flies off and we cut to black as Mal asks, “What was that?” and the end credits roll.
This post is already over 12,000 words, so I’m just going to go drunk cry into my pillow now.
Lor: Goodbye, Serenity. Farewell, Firefly. So long, dear sweet friends.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a 30-something with three kids who spends an embarrassing amount of time watching teen television dramas. There's a whole lot of Internet out there, and I plan on reading all of it before I die.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
