Angel S05 E10 – TAKE IT BACK.

Previously: Harmony was framed for murder but then her framer did some villain gloating and Harmony killed her.
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Soul Purpose

Sweeney: This episode begins by jumping back to just before Spike took that big old swig of flat Mountain Dew. He’s telling Angel how fully not about him this is and then he drinks. As he does, Angel’s face burns up and he screams. (K: Reminiscent of when he dreamt of marrying Buffy and then her burning up???) Then he wakes up sweating, sitting at his desk.

Meanwhile, Spike’s hanging out at a strip club (K: Is this an I Know Who Killed Me crossover?) when Lindsey shows up, and Spike tells him to fuck off. Lindsey gets his attention, however, when he not only knows his name but the fact that he recently received some interesting mail. When Spike asks who he is, Lindsey responds that he’s his “new best friend.” Most of this cast isn’t really on my list of dream TV BFFs (except Lorne, who is near the top of my list) but Lindsey would be a super low ranking choice. You have second billing, Spike! You can do better than Lindsey.

Lorraine: And pretty much anyone except for the Snark Squad would line up to fill that role. CONGRATS, BRO. You can be picky.

Sweeney: Electric cellos.

Spike questions Lindsey about the de-ghosting and the amulet and he’s responsible for all of it. Lindsey is vague about the “we” that he’s part of until Spike grabs his arm and makes with the threats of bodily harm, noticing some of Lindsey’s creepy new tattoos. Lindsey says that his name is Doyle and he just wants to know what Spike wants to do now that he has his life back. I, on the other hand, want to cry. WHY ARE YOU DRAGGING DOYLE’S PRECIOUS NAME THROUGH THE MUD?

Lor: DOYLE WOULD NEVER WEAR COWBOY BOOTS OF REVENGE. TAKE IT BACK, RIGHT NOW.

Kirsti: I’d actually forgotten about this whole “I’m Doyle” lie and I AM NOT OKAY WITH IT. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. 

Sweeney: Sitting here in S5 I can see that Whedon did Doyle a favor by murdering him off because anyone else who sticks around for more than a season or two is ultimately destroyed by this show, suffering a character assassination worse than death. RIP, DOYLE.

Wolfram & Hart. Wes and Gunn are arguing over what to do about an evil warlock problem. They come up to Harmony who begins this episode by completely smashing any hopes that the last episode might have given you that she’d get to do more than sit there all hot and dumb. We just watched her be pretty good at this job, in spite of Angel’s douchiness, so the idea that she’d respond to the, “Is he in?” question with, “Is who in?” is just bullshit. They ignore her and argue their way into Angel’s office. He eventually cuts them off asking them to back up and explain. The evil warlock is also a cult leader with over a thousand followers (K: Like Snark Squad!) and a lot of black magic weapons (K: Less like Snark Squad… We just have booze). They need to come up with a plan that doesn’t so much take them out as redirect their energies because while the warlock is concerning, the cult itself has a lot of useful connections and also dolla dolla billz. Angel asks if this is about money or doing the right thing and its both. Angel gets snippy, cutting Wes off when he says “gray area.” Angel just wants to get through one damn day without saying that. I know that feel, Angel. It’s been about six months and any mentions of “shades of gray” still make me twitch.

Lor: My notes have both the anger over Harmony’s role and the TWITCHING over any mentions of gray. Additionally, though, I’m going to put together some things I’ve heard and guess that we’re seeing Angel sitting behind his desk a lot because of David Boreanaz’s knee surgery? Dude hasn’t even gotten up for a stretch.

Sweeney: Strip Club For Shitting On A Beloved Character’s Memory. This answering questions with questions was satisfactory enough for Spike not to break Lindsey’s arm, but not enough for him stick around. He walks off again and when Lindsey grabs him, Spike slams him up against the wall. It’s at this point that I remember that my favorite thing about Lindsey (besides those cowboy boots) was the times he got assaulted by Angel. And the absurdity of that fake hand. Like this:

Aaah, memories. (L: So sweet.) (K: Good times…)

Anyway, Lindsey had been going on about Spike’s destiny and Spike accuses Lindsey (correctly) of being behind the Mountain Dew incident. Lindsey insists he has no idea what that’s about, that he just follows orders, co-opting Doyle’s story about one day suddenly finding himself with visions from The Powers That Be Contriving. I hate him so hard for this. But also, LOL: “Like brain pictures, but they hurt.” Anyway, Lindsey says that they need a CHAMPION and Angel’s out of the picture so now it’s on Spike to help the helpless. Spike’s reluctant, but is successfully convinced by the promise that he’ll be implicitly responsible if a young girl gets murdered. I hate Lindsey but this is a solid plan.

Dark Alley. Vampire attacking girl. Spike intervenes. Vampire dies. What follows is another one of those, “Good idea, but fuck these writers are clueless.” Spike basically calls her an idiot and it would be funny if not for the fact that it’s so goddamned victim-blamey and includes the word “retard.” I shudder at the thought that this is what ~*progressive*~ shows were up to a mere decade ago. JM’s delivery was fine and the idea to make it clear that this is Spike and not Angel by having him be snarkier was a solid play. I like that idea, I do, but it’s 2014 and I can’t sit here in 2014 and congratulate the writers when that idea took the form of yelling at a victim for what she was wearing and casually throwing around the r-word.

Lor: I CRINGED. And perhaps in another 10 years, I’ll cringe at things I watched today. This is what watching critically is about, and why it’s actually important to call bullshit (and you know, harmful-ideas-shit) when you see it. Not okay, Spike/writers. Not okay from anyone. BONUS NOT OKAY POINTS COMING FROM YOU.

K: Agreed. Showing the difference between Spike and Angel is one thing, but this is a whole other level of not okay. (Though if said in an entirely different, non-“you deserve to die, you stupid whore” way, “don’t wear heels in dark alleys, you’ll bust an ankle” is sound advice. The entrance to my older brother’s house is off a dark, cobble stoned laneway and the number of times I’ve stumbled in the dark while wearing heels is RIDICULOUS.)

Sweeney: Nah. Still falls under the heading of telling another human being how to dress their own damn body, which is bullshit.

After the girl walks off, having been solidly shamed, Lindsey appears to ask if Spike believes him now. Spike is still unconvinced, what with Los Angeles being filled with people in potential danger. Lindsey suggests that Spike be a little nicer next time. Spike tells him he’s been saving people since long before Lindsey/Doyle showed up. Lindsey notes that this was a saving wherein there was nothing in it for him and no lady to impress, which Spike takes offense to. But Lindsey mentions Angel and Spike want’s to know what he’s got to do with this. Nothing, now. That’s the whole point.

Wolfram & Hart. Fred has now joined the argument over what to do about this Evil Warlock Cult situation. Angel looks like hell and zones out during this conversation. He joins back in to say to kill them all, because if they’re all evil and they have the power to wipe out 1000+ people. He wants to get back to the good/evil basics. Everyone’s a little stunned but then they notice how not well Angel’s looking. He says he’s just tired and Gunn needs to have a meeting with one of the warlock’s potential traitors and if all seems well they’re going with Wesley’s plan, but if not, well he doesn’t say but I guess Gunn’s plan. They all tell him that he needs to take a breather. He goes into his elevator and Wesley stares knowingly at it.

K: The dramatic zoom on Wesley’s knowing stare was really weird. DAMN YOU, ZOOMY CAMERAMAN.

Sweeney: Wesley follows Angel to his apartment, noting that he can barely stand. Wes helps Angel over to his bed, and says that it must be hard to cope with the new situation – the one in which he is irrelevant. Angel is dumbfounded by this because he doesn’t know it’s a dream yet. Wesley says that Spike’s arrival works out well because it makes this a lot easier and then he stakes Angel who promptly wakes up screaming.

As Angel loses his shit, Spike is out saving people. He has now acquired some of those handy retractable sleeve-stakes. (L: Uh, where from? Did he steal those for his trip to Europe?) Some of his rescued victims ask who he is. “I’m the hero,” he answers.

Wolfram & Hart. Wesley orders Harmony to set up some payoffs for the big plan. Harmony stupids some more and then runs off because another vagina is about to enter the scene. Eve struts up telling Wes that he’s getting the hang of W&H now that he’s throwing money at problems. She’s got something to show Angel, but Wes insists on letting her show it to him first. She hands him a cornerstone from a building or monument or something that has some ancient writing engraved in it, saying the Senior Partners want to know what it is ASAP. As if the show is now trolling me with its efforts to minimize female presence, Eve departs as Harmony returns. She wants to clue Angel in right away because that’s her job, but Wesley says that Angel needs some rest.

Segue Magic to him sleeping. He’s sweating and shaking. Fred comes in, saying he looks terrible. He says something’s wrong and she says she knows what to do. She slaps on a rubber glove (it’s white, not blue…) and suddenly his bed is in Evil Radio Shack instead of his room. She cuts him open and starts pulling out his organs and tossing them aside. She says that as a vampire he doesn’t need that stuff anyway. She excitedly spots his heart which is, in fact, a dried up little walnut. There are also some pearls, which she wears; raisins, which she eats (ew); a license plate; and a fishbowl which she says is his soul and they’re going to need to flush it, so she gives it to a guy in a bear suit. Unfortunately, she can’t find anything wrong with him except that he’s empty. “There’s nothing left. Just a shell.” This was an amusing turn in the dream sequences. As she bends down to hear the ocean, we cut back to his terrible sleep. This is a very sad episode. Why are we doing such bad things with sleep? What did sleep do to deserve this?

K: On the other hand, it makes you appreciate nightmareless sleep that much more?

Lor: That, and raisins that don’t come from inside vampires?

Sweeney: In Wesley’s office, actual Fred is now looking at the stone Eve brought over. Gunn shows up to say that he’s been getting reports of a vigilante roaming the streets at night. He hands over the report so that they can see that it’s Spike instead of just, you know, saying that.

Said vigilante is being showed into an apartment that Lindsey procured for him. Spike resists, but then acquiesces, albeit grumbling a bit about the quality. Lindsey says that he’ll have to go back to Wolfram & Hart for creature comforts, but heroes live in basements. Or something like that. (L: Creature! Comforts! Creature! Comforts!)

Angel’s in his non-basement, still trapped in his terrible nightmares. He’s fake-awoken to Spike having sex in his bed. Angel turns and hears a clip of Buffy’s voice from S3, but the actress has hair a shade blonder and also keeps her head turned away the entire time. It’s just a double, Angel! It’s OK. I mean, still them having sex in your bed with you there is hella gross. Angel wants to know if Spike is taking Buffy to the prom and then another clip of her saying she killed her goldfish is dropped in due to Fred having just flushed his soulfish down the toilet in his last dream. LOL.

K: This whole scene was so bizarre. The Buffy sound-bytes had this echoey quality to them, and the fact that the double kept her head turned away just seemed kind of…”Look, we wanted to get SMG in for like ten seconds, but we can’t afford to pay her. SO HERE’S A FAKE!”-y. Or something.

Lor: Exactly that. I mean, I laughed too, but I don’t think we were supposed to laugh.

Sweeney: A bit later, he’s back in the lobby and he comes upon Fred, who points out that he’s not wearing shoes. Gunn comes to tell them that they’re about to miss the show. He and Fred follow him into a room where everyone’s gathered to eat popcorn watch the city burn. Angel says he should get out there, but Wes says that Spike will handle it. Lorne tells him to go put some clean clothes on and Angel looks down to see that he’s bleeding in about the spot he was dream!staked earlier. Back in his bed, though, we see that some gross slimy gray thing is feeding on him in that spot.

After a Not Break, he’s having a new dream in which everyone is singing an exciting, “For he’s a jolly good fellow” to Spike, asking him to give a speech. He says he’s just a working class bloke fulfilling his destiny. NBD. Fred says it’s a super being thing since he “single-handedly ended Armageddon and turned the world into a beautiful happily ever after candy mountain place where all our dreams come true.” They all gesture outside to show that picture. It’s now time for his reward that he gets because he didn’t ask for one. A fairy floats him to make him become “a real boy.”

K: This is the point where my notes say, “It’s official. This episode is on crack.”

Sweeney: But wait! There’s more! It’s then that we see Angel is watching. Spike excitedly feels his heart beating and everyone wants a turn to feel. Angel stands off to the side feeling sad and then trudges off to push the mail cart.

Spike’s Rent-A-Hero Apartment. Gunn and Wesley drop by to find out what Spike is up to. He invites them in and mocks their getting reports and reading memos. Wes and Gunn ask why, if Spike is now all about helping, he didn’t come to them and make use of their resources. Spike says that a place like Wolfram & Hart won’t change – it’ll change them. (Legit.) They want to work out a shady deal in which Spike just goes to them, at which point he realizes that Angel doesn’t know they went to him. Spike guesses that they’re hedging their bets and the world is getting ever murkier.

Captain Murky is in bed with Eve on top of him. Eve assures him that the Fang Gang isn’t looking into Spike because of that stone she gave them and wants to move onto sexytimes, but sighs and relents to Lindsey’s wish to talk about their diabolical plans some more because villain gloating is the best foreplay. After covering the build-Spike-up-while-tearing-Angel-down thing they inform the audience that the idea is to convince the senior partners that they’re backing the wrong horse and also that Lindsey’s creepy tattoos are how he magically keeps the Senior Partners from knowing what he’s up to. What about the actual Powers That Be Contriving? What ever happened to them? Did they just sort of bow out and shuffle off awkwardly after the Jasmine thing?

K: Honestly, Sweeney. How many times do I have to tell you to stop poking the plot holes? 

Lor: But also, the awkward shuffling makes the most sense to me. Who wouldn’t quietly escape after the Jasmine thing, am I right?

Oh, season 5 of this show? Right.

Sweeney: Wolfram & Hart. Wesley and Gunn tell Fred that Spike’s not interested in working with them because he thinks they’ve sold out. Fred wants everyone to use their words and Gunn’s all, “But if we tell him now, how will we have a plot?” It’s then that Fred deduces that nobody has heard from Angel today. She goes out to the desk to talk to Harmony. (Two ladies! With names! Having a conversation! Unfortunately, it’s about a dude. Bechdel Fail continues.) Harmony hasn’t heard from him either so Fred suggests they give him a call to check in.

K: Harmony’s “Act like we care? Good plan!” was kind of hilarious, but mostly because that’s a little bit how I feel about this show in recent months. Sorry not sorry.

Sweeney: Up in his apartment the phone rings and rings and he only wakes up in a dream. It’s Lorne’s turn to make a crazy dream appearance in which he’s got on old-timey saloon gear. Or, like, modern day hipster gear. He’s playing piano, telling Angel to call him Honky Tonk.

Back in the office, they get his voicemail. Fred decides to go check on him but she’s cornered by Eve who tells her that this stone thing needs to be handled ASAP. NAMED LADIES CHATTING ABOUT NOT-A-DUDE! In minute 33 of 42, the episode finally passes!

Lor:

Sweeney: Lorne Stress Dream. Harmony strolls up in a cabana girl costume. Lorne says that while for most people everything hurts and then they die but for Angel everything hurts and then he goes on and on. Lorne offers to read him. A spotlight goes on and Lorne plays, but when Angel opens his mouth nothing comes out. “I told you he was empty,” says Fred, off screen. The camera pans over to her sitting at a table with Wesley and Gunn. Wes says this is ridiculous since they paid good money for this. They paid blood for this. Gunn just gets Bagheera eyes and growls at him. It’s then that Angel finally notices the gray thing on his shirt. He pulls it off and wakes up to find it in his hands. He crushes it. Eve is sitting in the dark watching him. She says she’s not really there and that she’s just dreaming, but it’s almost over. She opens a box and another, slightly larger slimy gray thing emerges.

K: Oh, Eve. You pretty much just doomed yourself to getting busted with that “I’m not really here, you’re just dreaming” speech. You suck at villaining.

Sweeney: She tried to use the “Reverse Psychology” chapter of The Big Book of Villain Gloating, without realizing that the entire book is faulty.

After a Not Break Eve smirks as the new gray thing makes its way up Angel’s body. He musters the strength to swat it off before it latches on.

Rent-A-Hero Apartment. Spike returns with some beer to find Lindsey waiting for him. Lindsey sitting in the chair with the lamp reminds me of an S3 Veronica Mars moment but we’re not there yet so I can’t link it. Alas! In addition to shady showing up in Spike’s apartment, Lindsey also steals one of his beers. Rude. As Lindsey is trying to ask Spike to be less difficult, he fakes a migraine vision (K: Really badly faked, for that matter). Spike rolls his eyes at the bullshit, but Lindsey promises that this one is a BFD.

Back in Angel’s apartment, his strength didn’t extend to actually being able to walk and stuff. He drags him self over to his phone and yanks it down. As soon as he grabs it, the new gray thing bites down.

Dream Angel is sitting in a comfy chair in the middle of a sunny field. The Fang Gang walk up to tell him that he can stay there forever. He says he’s not finished yet and has to keep fighting. They assure him that they’ll be fine and all he has to do is stop caring. Then one by one they all turn their heads to the sky and start screeching.

K: It doesn’t look as terrible in that gif, but when the shot showed Fred walking towards Angel, her hair was INSANE. Like Dolly Parton-esque at the top and normal at the bottom. Or something. IDK.

Lor: It’s a crazy dream, K. Hair doesn’t have to make sense.

Sweeney: In his apartment he wakes up to find Spike pulling the thing off his chest. He throws it at the wall, promising a bitch of a clean up. He says he was just helping the helpless and leaves.

Later, the Fang Gang join him and Wesley explains how the slimy gray thing worked. It used magic to make Angel oblivious to its presence and also to paralyze him and cause those fever dreams. End game would have been for the thing to leave him in a vegetative state. Angel says that everything seemed real and recaps bits of the dreams for everyone else. Eve watches and makes lots of evil faces. Lorne wants to know how Spike knew Angel was in danger and Gunn wants to know how it got in there, but nobody is sure. Angel says it was Eve, that she put the big one on him after he killed the other one. Wesley suggests that maybe it was all part of the one dream but Angel’s convinced (K: On account of dreams don’t usually say “I’m not here, Angel. You’re just dreaming.” DUH, EVE.). He notices that she changed clothes but not her earrings. Fred agrees that the clothes changing is suspicious and that she’s never seen those earrings before. Such a random detail. I still can’t quite see her earrings. I’m not sure the fact that you never noticed her earrings before really proves shit. They’re right, of course, but they’re using pure nonsense to prove it. Angel says he’s sure the Senior Partners aren’t behind it, and assumes it’s a solo act. Eve says he’s just looking for someone outside his circle to blame but he should try looking inward – unless he doesn’t like what he sees. End credits.

This was weird and there were some things I hated, but I actually liked the episode for the most part, which is nice! The dream sequence stuff was fun to recap and it reminded me a lot of Restless, especially from a recapping perspective because it’s like, “WHAT BITS ARE IMPORTANT!? HOW DO I KNOW!?” As with the last one, it’s always kind of a shame when this show has episodes that remind me of its superior predecessor because the Angel the Series versions are never as good. It’s like being mediocre in a field where your parent was a virtuoso. Your achievements become “cute” at best in that light.

K: Adding the Buffy sound-bytes really didn’t help with that. Unlike Sweeney, I didn’t really like this episode. But considering there’s yet to be an episode of season 5 that I’ve actually enjoyed, that’s pretty much par for the course… 

Sweeney: STILL, this was one of better episodes we’ve seen so far and it seems like we’re getting into some sort of real plot. This the first time that I’ve felt like they were building something interesting in their quest to make this the Angel & Spike show.

Lor: Yeah, I enjoyed it too. Part of the reason that it was lesser than Restless is because all of Angel’s dreams were basically about the same thing. He’s feeling inferior, he’s lost the mission, etc, we get it. The point was done well here, but it doesn’t help that we’ve been stuck at this point for (what feels like) some time now. I liked the idea of having Spike echo so much of the pilot in his shots of killing vampires with a Doyle nearby, but in story, or rather from a storytelling perspective (1) – been there, done that to a degree and (2) – STOP IT SPIKE. SPIKE’S A SPIKE AND AN ANGEL’S AN ANGEL.

Something like that.

Sweeney: Major repetition, but I think that aspect of it didn’t bother me because that point hasn’t been conveyed particularly well up to this point. (Note: hasn’t been conveyed well, which isn’t to say “clearly” – they’ve made it clear that this is a thing, but I don’t think the prior devices of communicating that message worked as well as this one.) For me, the Restless comparison falls short mostly for the other thing you brought up, which is the relative lack of complexity, because Restless wove together dream sequences from everyone.

Also, fuck Lindsey for this insult to Doyle.

That critique aside, it was a fun concept and it feels like they’re finally putting the Angel/Spike dynamic beyond senseless bickering/fan fic fodder and into some sort of actual plot. These are good things. Let’s see where this takes us.

 

Next time: The Watcher’s Council is back in business (because this show needed more patriarchy) and there’s a psychotic slayer on the lose (a lady who needs putting down by said patriarchy). Find out what happens on Angel S05 E11 – Damage.