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#snarkathon – Mean Girls

Lorraine: It’s been ten years since Mean Girls saw it’s theatrical release. Let that sink in for a moment.

This movie is truly a ton of stereotypes held together by the glue of memorable one liners and the wonder of Lindsay Lohan back when she resembled, you know, Lindsay Lohan. Also, I just realized this is the second Lindsay Lohan film we’ve covered for #snarkathon and that was not at all on purpose. I feel slightly ashamed.

Okay, movie: Cady Heron and her zoologist parents return to the United Starts after a 12 year research trip to Africa, meaning she’ll have to attend public school for the first time ever. Cady has a difficult time blending in for a day or two, before she befriends classmates Janis and Damian.

Janis and Damian warn Cady to stay way from the, wait for it, mean girls of the school, known as The Plastics. Said Plastics take an interest in Cady, however, and invite her to join them at lunch time. The slowly induct her into their world, sharing such valuable rules and lessons as, “on Wednesdays we wear pink.” Regina George invites Cady to her home, and it is there that Cady learns about the existence of a burn book belonging to the plastics. Cady also meets Regina’s mom.

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In math class, Cady meets and starts to fall for Aaron Samuels. He’s Regina’s ex-boyfriend, however, and is slightly off limits. The Plastics invite Cady to a Halloween party. She shows up a little differently dressed than the other Plastics.

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Regina ends up kissing Aaron at that party. Cady leaves feeling horrible about life and probably about her costume choice.

Jannis hatches a plan to destroy Regina, using Cady to get to her. They plan to separate her from Aaron, make her gain weight and separate her from Getchen and Karen, the other Plastics. Their nefarious plans involve nutrition bars and strategically sent candy-cane-grams.

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Cady decides to throw a party at her house while her parents are away. While waiting for Aaron, she gets drunk, and eventually confesses to him that she was pretending to fail math to get closer to him. He is not impressed. Janis and Damian show up to the party they didn’t get an invite to. In fact, Cady lied about not being able to go to Janis’s art show. Cady tries to explain, but Janis thinks that Cady has become just like Regina.

When Regina finds out that Cady’s been sabotaging her, she decides to take her revenge on Cady by passing around the contents of the burn book, implicating the other Plastics, but including a fake entry about herself to seem innocent. This incites a mini-riot at school. The principal and math teacher Tina Fey get the girls together in the gymnasium to talk it out and apologize to each other.

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When it’s Janis’s turn, she confesses her part in bringing down Regina. Cady follows after Regina as she storms out of the school and sees as Regina gets hit by a bus and breaks her spine.

Cady takes the blame for the burn book and part of her punishment is joining the Mathletes. She helps them win their competition and I guess has some deep revelations about ugly people while she does it. At the Spring fling dance, Cady is elected Queen, but she breaks her tiara into pieces and distributes it because all of her classmates are special in their own ways. Cady reconciles with her friends.

The plastics disband. Regina joins the lacrosse team, Gretchen joins the cool Asian clique and Karen becomes the school weather reporter. I think they let her because she stands in the rain and grabs her breasts.

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That’s pretty much it. The movie ends with Cady imagining junior Plastics getting run over my bus, so maybe she doesn’t quite learn her lesson about being a good person.

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Here are some wonderful Tweets from the #snarkathon:

 

 

 

Couldn’t join in on the fun this time? Join us on Saturday June 7th at 8pm GMT (that’s 4pm EDST). You can vote below for what movie we’ll be watching. If you have suggestions for what should be included on the next poll, tell us in the comments!

 

POLL CLOSED. Winner: Bring it On

 

Poll closes on Saturday, May 24th and then we’ll Tweet the results (over and over again.) While we’d much rather have your lovely Twitter faces watching with us, if you can’t watch/Tweet until after our Saturday date and time, we’ll wait to pull to Tweets for the next post, so everyone can participate in the fun!

 

Marines (all posts)

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.





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Marines

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.