The OC S01 E09 – I may vomit

Previously: Ryan passed his placement test and Marissa didn’t want to go to rehab, no, no, no.
—

The Heights

Molly:  We open with a Cohen family breakfast and a Marissa/Summer powwow at Jimmy’s apartment. It’s back to school time for the kids and everyone is nervous. Seth’s nervous because he’s a huge loser; Ryan’s nervous because he’s about to go to a new school with a bunch of Lukes; Marissa’s nervous because she is a complete and total trainwreck and almost offed herself in Tijuana; Summer’s nervous because, actually no, Summer’s not nervous because she’s just better than the others. Summer reminds her human disaster of a friend that she has to plan the school carnival because she’s still the social chair. I’ve always wondered how people on television shows have enough time before school to hang out at their friends’ houses and gab about life. I was lucky if I had time to make a Toaster Strudel before hauling my ass to school.

Lorraine: At least these people are at home. The Pretty Little Liars are always sitting around at the coffee house before school, at what I can only imagine is like 5am. Truly, combing my hair was the accomplishment of my morning.

Sweeney: Rosewood has really damaged my ability to recognize the magical morning hours added to lives of other TV teens, because they’re clearly operating on a 36 hour day over there. I figure they’ve only got an extra 1-2 hours in their day and that seems totally reasonable! Except not, because high school me would have 100% opted to spend those extra 1-2 hours still sleeping. So would 26 year old me.

Molly: Now we’re at school and “How Good It Can Be” by The 88, one of the songs that I immediately recognize from the show’s formative first soundtrack, plays in the background. (S: More love notes to the soundtracks! You’re probably the biggest OC fan in this lineup, so I have to ask: how many of these OC Mixes do you have?) (M: I know I physically purchased the first two, but iTunes tells me I have tracks from all six mixes, including the Chrismukkah album. My obsession with this show ran deep.) Seth is immediately shoulder bumped by the water polo team and Ryan deems this place a nightmare. Summer tries to assure Marissa that no one even knows what happened in Mexico, but sure enough, some Mean Girls are gossiping about her. Summer puts them in their place like the good friend she is.

Lor: She’s so little. It’s like watching a chihuahua. 

Molly: As a fellow tiny person, I have a feeling that this was at least half of Summer’s initial appeal to my 14-year-old self.

The two pairs obviously run into each other and we get Seth and Summer adorably bantering as a treat for also having to listen to Ryan and Marissa flirt. They agree to hang out after school, giving Marissa an excuse to skip the carnival planning meeting. Summer drags Marissa away and they run into Luke because of course they run into Luke. Luke wants to talk to Marissa and Summer once again earns her best friend medal by yelling at him for her. Ryan catches up with Marissa to make sure she’s okay and confirms the plans they made only about 45 seconds ago.

Lor: That was really weird. “Hey, hey, Marissa! I saw you having emotions 10 seconds after we interacted. Are we still on?” Who does that?

Molly: Seth unsuccessfully calls after Summer and tells Ryan, “slowly I thaw her icy heart.” Oh, Seth. If only you knew!

Back at Casa de Cohen, Sandy and Kirsten flirt and make out, solidifying their place as some of the best marrieds on television. But then Sandy digs himself into a hole over his hot co-worker, Rachel. Just as he’s clawing his way out, he gets a call from her and pulls out his flip phone, reminding us that this show aired in 2003. Kirsten then gets a call from her boss/dad, preventing her from being too mad at Sandy.

Returning to school, Seth and Summer head to class and Seth invites her to eat lunch with him. “I can arrange to have an empty chair at my table,” he tells her. “There’s nothing but empty chairs at your table,” she quips back. Suddenly, a friendly face appears. It’s Anna from the cotillion episode! She is adorable, but she’s not Summer Roberts, which is why I could never support her bid for Seth’s heart.

Lor: I remember feeling similarly, but so far on rewatch, Summer has been a big, fat NO for me. I can’t support Seth and Summer as they are right now, and I welcome adorable Anna.

Sweeney: This rewatch has been confusing my Seth/Summer emotions. Seth’s DATE ME I’M A NICE GUY schtick in the Tijuana episode grossed me out, and this episode does a damn good job of selling Anna, who was my 16-year-old self’s secret fashion icon.

But, like, the nostalgia tells me that I love Seth/Summer forever.

Molly: Summer and Anna exchange insults and Summer runs off, pretending she’s not bothered by Seth and Anna’s reunion. Anna councils Seth and asks why he’s still chasing after Summer. She then explains the merits of playing hard to get. Seth is just way too available. Anna agrees to teach Seth how to woo Summer.

Next, we turn to Sandy’s work for some Boring Adult Stuff. Rachel asks what Sandy was doing when she called because he seemed distracted. He was making out with his hot wife, Potential Homewrecker.

Lor: Again, WHO DOES THIS? “Hey it totally sounded like a personal thing you were doing so I’mma ask you about it.” Hussy.

Molly: Then it’s all dull work stuff. Rachel tells Sandy that Caleb purchased the Balboa Heights, a plot of land that sits on top of the beautiful wetlands. Rachel wants Sandy’s tree-hugging expertise on this case. Sandy worries that it’s a conflict of interest, but Rachel insists that it’s no problem. This seems like a great idea!

Back at Harbor, Marissa tries to run from her problems and attempts to quit her position as social chair. The principal talks her out of it, reminding her that people are always going to gossip and the carnival will give them something good to talk about. Seth tells Ryan that Anna has convinced him to join the lit mag. Marissa then meets up with Ryan and cancels their plans, telling him she’s going to plan the carnival after all. Marissa tries to reschedule their hang out for the carnival that I guess she’s planning in less than a week, telling him that she’ll save him a ride on the ferris wheel. Ryan panics and tells her he doesn’t do heights but that they’ll figure something out.

At the Cohen’s, Kirsten asks about Sandy’s job and he evades the question, not wanting to rock the boat just yet. She tries to plan a lunch date with him, but he’s too busy. Ryan tries to catch up on the summer reading he didn’t do and tells Sandy he thinks private school was a bad idea. Everyone else has their “something” except for him. Sandy reminds him that he has Seth. “Seth’s got his women,” Ryan tells him. Sandy is hilariously shocked at this news. “Seth Cohen?!” This earns a nod from Ryan.

He recovers and tells Ryan that he just needs to find his thing. Seth joins them and tells them that they could have an actual athlete in the family, which Sandy’s Jewishness prevented Seth from fulfilling. Conveniently, Ryan used to play soccer. Done! Soccer team it is! (L: That was easy. I hope Ryan wasn’t up all night thinking about this…)

Over at Jimmy’s apartment, cheating ex-boyfriend Luke stops by for a friendly chat. Jimmy won’t let him see her. Marissa’s lucky she has Summer and her dad to fight her battles for her. Marissa goes to school and tries to make plans with Ryan, hopeful that her carnival meeting ends early. They’re voting on cotton candy versus funnel cakes. Ryan and Marissa both wrongly agree on cotton candy. (L: SO WRONG. What even.) (S: THANK YOU. I don’t even remember the rest of this episode I was distracted by this terrible decision making.) Unfortunately, Ryan has soccer tryouts and can’t hang out. But they’ll both get out at five now and plan to meet in the quad.

Seth enters his class and goes to sit next to Anna, but then sees Summer looking for an empty seat that doesn’t exist. Seth gives up his seat for her, earning the evil eye from Anna. But Anna saves the day and makes Seth share her seat, causing some serious jealousy from Summer. Seth and Anna dork out about her sailing trip and Summer sulks.

Lor: Also, if I’m paying a bajillion dollars to a private school, they better have chairs for everyone in the class is all I’m saying.

Molly: In Boring Adult World, Sandy finds Kirsten waiting in his office and she is pissed. He tells her that he was going to talk to her about it soon. Sandy says he’s not sure there’s even going to be a case since it’s obvious that destroying the wetlands is wrong. Kirsten tells him that they’ve promised to save a lot of it. She realizes that he’s definitely thinking about taking the case and storms out, saying she has to keep it off her father’s radar. (L: #TeamEyebrows) (S: +1)

Ryan shows up to soccer practice and sure enough, he’s going after Luke’s position. Great. Later, Luke corners Marissa leaving her meeting and tries to talk to her. Marissa actually stands up for herself and it’s pretty good to see. Luke turns on Sensitive Dude Mode and tells her that he still loves her while crying. He tenderly covers her hand with his. Because this is television, Ryan sees all of this going down but conveniently leaves before he can hear Marissa shut him down.

Lor: I really can’t with Luke’s crying. I didn’t get that it was crying at first. I thought maybe he was trying to say something? It looked kind of like when you have to sneeze but it won’t come out.

Molly: Things are tense between Sandy and Kirsten the next morning. I guess being on opposite sides of a court case will do that to a marriage. Over in the pool house, Seth grills Ryan about his love life. Seth is now an expert in women and tells Ryan to ask Marissa about Luke. Meanwhile, Summer coaches Marissa to not tell Ryan under any circumstances. Uh oh! This misunderstanding is about to get even more misunderstood. Ryan meets Marissa at her locker and tries to worm it out of her, but she doesn’t budge. Ryan is not pleased.

Sweeney: I’m with Summer on this one. Chill the fuck out, Ryan.

Molly: In biology, Summer’s vapid girl facade briefly slips while inspecting a frog for dissection. When Seth catches her, she quickly recovers with an, “I mean, ew!” and then asks Seth to be her lab partner so he can do all the work. Much to the annoyance of both Seth and Summer, Anna shows up and explains that he is already her lab partner. Anna tells Seth to follow her lead. Summer watches on and rolls her eyes in disgust at the happy lab partners.

Marissa goes to visit Ryan at soccer practice, but instead starts bonding with Luke about the movie My Girl. Marissa, can’t you understand how this could be problematic? You’re trying to woo the hot new dude, but instead you’re chatting it up with your ex. Ryan goes into HULK SMASH mode and tackles Luke while going for the ball. Wrong sport, Ry. Later, Marissa shows up at the pool house unannounced. They’re both mad at each other and Ryan ends things before they really begin. (L: Again.)

The next morning, Sandy does some parenting and tells Ryan his soccer coach called and wants to suspend him for two games. Ryan angsts about private school and Sandy tells him to suck it up because the school will be good for him. Sandy worries that one mistake from Ryan could lead to him being taken from the Cohens. Then they stare at each other for a long time. The eyebrows win, obviously. (S: ALWAYS!) Sandy tells him that he’d love to go to some of his soccer games so obviously soccer is going to play an important role in Ryan’s life now. (Except spoiler alert! I’m pretty sure we’re never going to see it again.) (L: We only need it for a backdrop to tripping Luke, really.)

At school, Ryan tells Seth that he knows he messed up with Marissa when he attacked Luke. Seth tells him to apologize. Summer consoles Marissa about Ryan, noting that all boys are the same. Ryan runs into the two of them because they literally can’t walk anywhere at this school without running into each other. He wants to talk to Marissa but Summer pulls her away, thinking she’s saving her friend from another shitty dude.

That night, Sandy returns home to his wife with a bouquet of flowers. He apologizes but tells her he has to take the case. Kirsten is worried about it, but says she knows they’ll get through it. They flirt and make out again, continuing to be the best marrieds, but once again, they’re interrupted by their phones ringing at the same time. It sucks, but they’ll be okay.

Over at the carnival, which Marissa totally realistically planned in less than a week, Seth and Anna play skeeball. Ryan comes over and Seth goes to cash in his tickets for a prize for Summer. Anna rolls her eyes and tells Ryan that Seth sucks at playing hard to get. Ryan asks Anna why she’s helping Seth win over Summer when she’s clearly into him. Anna explains that Seth doesn’t see her the same way he sees Summer and that they’re just going to be friends. Ryan is apparently the only one rooting for Anna in this situation and gives her the same advice she gave Seth: “guys wanna be chased by girls who aren’t interested in them.” Anna sees what he did there and seems to accept that the game has now changed. Anna wishes luck when Ryan runs off to catch Marissa heading toward the ferris wheel with Summer.

Sweeney: This was so cute! Ryan had a moment of actual personality between his angst! Anna’s so precious! But also so doomed. Sorry, Anna. Things might have been different for you if you’d showed up in the premiere, but cotillion was too late to strut into this storyline and be anything other than the hypotenuse.

Molly: Ryan gets there just in time to take Summer’s place on the ferris wheel and tells Marissa he wants to talk. Marissa reminds Ryan that he’s afraid of heights. Ryan freaks out when they stop at the very top and we see Anna slipping the worker $10 to keep them up there for a while. She obviously ships them much harder than I do.

Lor: Or maybe she wanted to get rid of them. Maybe being up in the air dilutes the brood.

Molly: Then Seth shows up and compliments Anna on her technique of getting Ryan and Marissa together. “There’s something I wanna tell you,” Anna says, and then proceeds to make out with his face. After the kiss, Seth looks up find a dejected Summer watching them. Thinking it was all part of the game, Seth thanks her. Realizing she will never be Summer Roberts, Anna goes along with it and lets Seth go off to his beloved. Before he runs off, Seth gives Anna a sock monkey he bought her with his tickets. Poor Anna, it’s not your fault. (L: It’s Seth’s fault for being into girls who only think they are into him when another perfectly acceptable girl shows interest.)

Molly: Seth heads over to his woman. “Coop’s stuck on the ferris wheel and I was looking for someone to go on the tilt-a-whirl with me,” she says as he steals some of her cotton candy. Seth volunteers himself. “Okay. I may vomit,” she flirts. “I like those odds,” he flirts back AND IT IS ADORABLE.

Back on the ferris wheel, Ryan is freaking out. But he closes his eyes and goes for it, telling her that he doesn’t open up easily and doesn’t trust people, but he trusts her and will do anything to make this work. Ryan worries that they may never get down from the ferris wheel and Marissa tells him that he needs something to get his mind off of it. The familiar sound of another iconic soundtrack song plays as she kisses him. The ride starts moving and they keep making out. Imma let you finish, The OC, but Never Been Kissed had the best ferris wheel scene OF ALL TIME. (L: A+) Admittedly, it’s a cute scene, but I really just want more Seth and Summer.

End credits. Now excuse me while I watch the rest of the season because that happens every single time I get one taste of The OC.

 

Next time: Kirsten gets more and more worried about Sandy’s flirty co-worker in The OC S01 E10 – The Perfect Couple.