Previously: Seth and Summer had sex! Other things too, maybe, IDK.
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The Telenovela
Katherine: Who wants to feel old and realize that if you only watched The OC when it aired, it’s been more than 10 years since you’ve seen this episode? No one, ok, then let’s ignore that I mentioned that at all. It helps that Adam Brody looks pretty much exactly the same as he did as Seth Cohen. If time stopped for him, it must’ve for all of us, right? Totally.
At school, Seth grills Ryan on what’s happening with Marissa, because it totally makes sense that he does that with people around and not before they left the house or while they drove to school or anything like that! Ryan says he Marissa are going to go back to being friends. Smarty-pants-Cohen comes through again with the pointing out of their lack of friendship.
Sweeney: To be fair, sometimes my “do I really have to see anyone today?” anxiety is too strong for anything but the dearest of friends. Friends who know how to be alone-together.
Katherine: Summer and Marissa are having a very similar conversation. Summer makes a very good point that Marissa does not try on wife-beaters OR lift weights, so it may be difficult for Ryissa (I tried it, I don’t think it works, but credit for effort?) to find platonic activities to do together. This makes me wonder how strong their relationship could possibly have been in the first place. Then I remember that they are teenagers and it was about as strong as their hormones.
Lor: You guys are rich, live by a beach and presumably can watch movies. You go to the same school. A basic friendship should be fine.
Katherine: Marissa admits that she doesn’t just want to be Ryan’s friend (because she has already seen him without a shirt on, obvs) but points out that she was kind of awful when Oliver was in the picture. Mopey Marissa is at least amused by the idea that Summer and Seth are like, a thing.
Summer then proceeds to share that she pretty much doesn’t like Seth at all unless she’s about to have sex with him. Stay classy Summer Roberts. And yes, to answer your question that mirror’s Ryan’s, I do think you’ll have to see him today. How big do you guys think your private high school IS?
Sweeney: They do have that insane pool table student lounge. I bet it’s a real struggle finding their way to class and stuff. LOL, going to class. I kid, I kid.
Katherine: Back to Ryan and Seth, who reports that he and Summer are over the metaphorical hump and he hopes that she can contain herself when she sees him today. He gets a phone call. No Seth, it’s not Summer looking for phone sex BEFORE SCHOOL, but who DO you know from the 909? ME! I lived right across the freeway from Chino until I was 11, so I totally identify with Ryan and I TOTALLY COULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE CALLING SETH’S PHONE! But I wasn’t. Ryan takes that super cool flip phone like a boss, tells Seth he doesn’t know anyone from the 909 and answers it himself. It’s Theresa! Huzzah! Stop looking surprised Seth, you don’t know anyone from there.
Why is Theresa calling so early? Seth’s mom gave her the number, so clearly she has already called the house. That would have gone UNanswered if she was calling me. Why is everyone so awake and alert and extroverted this morning? (S: This is a recurring problem in the high schools of Traumaland. Only Veronica Mars seems to respect that you should only have after school activities.) Apparently it’s because Theresa has a job closer to Ryan that night and wants to hang out. Ryan sounds unsure, but promises that it’s just surprise. Our lovely Theresa is calling from a bedroom she shares with ERIC BALFOUR! Eric doesn’t tend to stick around – remember Jesse? (S: MEMORIES & CROSSOVER MAGIC.) Theresa shoves her suitcase under the bed to hide it from her super hot boyfriend who is standing there in just a towel. (L: Who maybe is a vampire.)
Back at school, Ryan sounds about as excited as Ryan can possibly sound when he tells Seth that Theresa is going to come hang out tonight, as a friend. To quote Seth exactly here, “First Marissa then Theresa; who knew Ryan Atwood was so friendly?”
CALIFORNIA HERE WE COME!!!!
Following the opening credits, we see what we all knew would happen: Summer and Marissa run into Seth and Ryan in the halls immediately! (Did no one memorize each others’ schedules to be able to avoid them? You’re high schooling wrong!) It’s really only awkward for the the former couple initially, until Brad is introduced. Seth points out that he doesn’t recognize him without the speedo to make sure that we know Mr. Surfer Hair is on the swim team before he asks Summer to be the lady for “the team’s” kissing booth.
Ryan says he’s late. Why are you guys even pretending that being friends is an option for you?
Back to Brad, Summer and invisible but silently dumbfounded Seth:
Speaking of lucky, here comes the lady who was also the star of a Hanson video! (S: Really? Weird trivia. #themoreyouknow) Anna’s actually pretty cool about seeing her ex with his new lady, but she makes a good point: when you break up with a guy because you can see that he’s in love with someone else, it’s a little easier to take. She talks about getting a tuna melt and seeing friends to explain why she disappeared from the show for a little while. Seth then shares things that he knows about Andy Warhol, ketchup and Mr. Rogers, which actually show that he and Anna are actually so much better suited for each other than he and the girl who just ignored him to agree to be in a kissing booth.
Kirsten and Caleb’s office. Kirsten’s “uncle” drunkenly stumbled into someone else’s hotel room the previous night and it needs to be handled. Kirsten says, “No prob, let me tell legal!” But dad’s all, “No, your husband is much better connected with these kinds of things and I’m probably hiding something so I want someone less corporate to help us!” Kirsten reminds her father that Sandy isn’t his biggest fan. If he wants a favor from Sandy, then Sandy is the better person to ask. She says, “It would mean a lot to Sandy,” because she’s good at pushing her boys together.
Summer ignoring Seth on some sort of break where everyone is in comfortable seats, but no one has any food. (L: What is comfortable seats without food??) Anna joins Seth on the 2-person leather sofa that sits across the room from Summer, who is surrounded by what is actually the water polo team. Anna points out the totes obvious connection that he and Summer have while she flirts with the water polo team and gives one awkward wave in Cohen’s direction but cleverly hides it by fixing her hair.
Julie Cooper is walking down the school hallway. She runs into Luke, but explains to him that she is there for a parent-teacher conference and Luke really needs to not hit on her, but she’ll totally see him later that night. Enter Jimmy, just to make the situation awkward.
Sweeney: “Nothing to see here! Just my 16-year-old daughter’s ex-boyfriend who I’m fucking because I’m a total creepasaurus!”
Katherine: Back to the student lounge area. Ironically, by talking about how it’s awkward, Marissa and Ryan actually kind of cut down on that vibe. (S: The power of using your words!) Marissa does the, “We should be friends, aslongasthat’sokwithyou,” thing. Ryan agrees. Weirdo Marissa balks a bit when Ryan isn’t free for the first time she suggests, which happens to be that night, you know, when Theresa is going to be in town to hang out, because Ryan is so friendly! Ryan pulls through when he suggests that they hang after school.
Caleb takes his daughter’s advice and goes to see Sandy, like he really needs something from him or something! When Caleb says he needs a favor for a friend, Sandy says that he doesn’t have any friends. Caleb says it’s for Uncle Shaughn (I mean, it’s short for Shaughnessy, right?). Eyebrows snarks that Caleb pays Uncle Shaughn to be his friend. He finally accepts the police report to peruse before deciding if he will really help. But let’s remember that this is a guy who is currently fostering a high school kid because he happened to be one of his clients so it’s not like he’s really going to turn away his father-in-law.
Julie and Jimmy are done with the parent-teacher conference and Jimmy is surprised that he was praised instead of being ripped apart. It seems that having a father-figure with a spine is doing Marissa some good!
Julie thanks him as well, and after Jimmy blows it off, she actually gets serious. Julie is well aware of the fact that Jimmy has had a positive influence on Marissa. When Jimmy snarks that her being so nice must be a sign that Julie and Caleb are doing well, he’s a bit surprised to hear that they split up. He points out that after spending a lifetime wanting to be rich and married it’s funny that being poor and alone agrees with her most.
Sweeney: Except that “being a pedobear” is actually what seems to agree with her.
Lor: Sweeney, we don’t know that! It could just be the, “sleeping with someone my daughter slept with!” that could be agreeing with her.
Katherine: Back to Summer’s purple sheets that I had when this aired, making it super easy to imagine Seth Cohen in my own bed. (L: Awkward.) Summer is insisting that it’s so much better when it’s just the two of them, which is kind of an awkward segue into Seth asking why she ignored him at school today, but whatever editors, use her voiceover as needed. Summer doesn’t really want to admit that she ignored him before claiming that her being secretive about their relationship is really about not wanting people to know her business.
Sweeney: That’s one of his only faces. In her 15 seconds of screen time, Theresa had more facial expressions than this whole scene gave us from Ryan and Marissa combined.
Katherine: Over in the kitchen, Sandy tells Kirsten that it’s weird for him to have never met Uncle Shaughn, so she has to explain that he’s not actually her uncle. He works all the time, but Kirsten gives the most vague answer possible, until Sandy asks her for more information. He’s impressed when she gets even more vague. It seems that Uncle Shaughn is a “consultant” who “knows people.”
Lor: Um, can you get paid for those things? Sign me up!
Katherine: The next morning Seth tries to explain to Ryan why it totally makes sense for he and Summer to keep things on the DL, but Ryan is a normal person and is not understanding it at all. Kirsten is a good mother who lets Ryan know that Theresa called and Sandy is the great dad who says he wants to meet her. Sandy inquires about how Marissa feels about Theresa being in town.
At lunch, Ryan joins Marissa and they both apologize for being kind of jerky to each other. Marissa says that Ryan really didn’t have to tell Marissa that Theresa was coming, but she also points out that he totally could have, you know, now that they’re friends and all. Acting like a friend, Marissa follows up with asking why she’s there and where she’s staying and Ryan answers honestly, even mentioning that place where Marissa’s mom just hooked up with her ex-boyfriend. These two seem to be getting the hang of the friend thing. Marissa suggests a video game rematch.
Seth and Anna are walking from what I assume was not class to what I cannot possibly assume is class, talking about Summer and whether Seth addressed her ignoring him. Anna tries to be a good friend and stay out of it, but ends up being a better friend when she clearly has something to say and goes against her instincts to advise her ex boyfriend on how to deal with the reason they didn’t work. Anna explains that Summer really doesn’t have anything to be ashamed of unless Seth doesn’t take a stand against this behavior. “Because then, her boyfriend is a coward.”
Back to the restaurant, Sandy walks in to find Uncle Shaughn already there. He let himself in through the back and opened a bottle of scotch. Sandy cuts to the chase: the guy whose room he walked into is in the lumber business and happened to be in town on a bid for one of Caleb’s competitors. Sandy says that there’s no way the district attorney’s office is going to believe it was pure coincidence. Shaughn points out that he’s been working with Caleb for many years and if he were to sit down with the DA, there’s no telling what kind of stories he might have to tell.
Theresa and Ryan are on the beach eating, not simply ice cream, but “Balboa Bars.” Newport is so fancy. They’re making fun of the ridiculousness of it, but Theresa says she can see why Ryan would want to live there. When Ryan asks if she came to do the same, Theresa says she couldn’t. She’s got her mom and brother to think about, and… Eddie. They are taking some time apart to see if they really belong together. When pressed for information on Marissa, Ryan says they’re trying to be friends too, but it’s not exactly easy. Theresa points out that it’s totes easy between the two of them. They’re cute and relaxed and joking as they stroll down the beach during sunset.
Sweeney: Yet another couple that seems to belong together a lot more than the show’s predestined IT couple.
Lor: If only because they have all those great facial expressions when they are together. A sure sign.
Katherine: Back to the purple sheets of Summer’s bed. Seth has decided that he needs to take a stand and the separation of the public and private spheres is no longer acceptable to him. Go Cohen! Summer objects, because she has already told him how she feels on the subject, but Seth isn’t having it. Seth says that they are, “complete faceless nobodies living in obscurity,” and he can’t acknowledge her privately if she won’t acknowledge him publicly.
Ryan bikes home from hanging with Theresa, only to find Eddie is waiting for him. He seems welcoming but hesitant. Eddie says that he recently went to visit Ryan’s brother and it’s a shame that he’s still locked up. Eddie is looking for Theresa, because her mom said she’s working there. Then Eddie drops a little bit of a bomb on the situation: Theresa ran away to Newport shortly after Eddie proposed! After confirming that Ryan hasn’t heard from Theresa, Eddie seems to be genuinely happy for him, while Ryan just has his usual terrified puppy look.
Ryan goes directly to Theresa’s hotel to get the truth out of her. She says that Eddie asked, but she didn’t actually say yes. Instead, as Ryan points out, she just took off. He asks her if she thinks that will fix everything and she shoots back that he did.
Lor: Look, I get it girl. He should’ve called. But also he left because juvie and was abandoned, you know?
Katherine: Theresa says that she just needs time to think. Ryan agrees – he thinks that she needs about 5 more years, since she’s only 17. Theresa cuts off the lecture by pointing out that there may not be much different for her in 5 years, since not everyone has the privileges that those in Newport have. Eddie actually has his shit together and he loves her. As for her, she just needs time. Ryan gets that their points have been made and there’s no point in pushing further, so he invites her to his house for dinner.
Back at the Cohen residence, Seth opens the front door to Summer demanding that the two of them go upstairs, alone, now. Summer has decided that Seth’s insistence on being respected is actually him being insensitive to her not being comfortable with PDA. Seth points out that you can’t exactly get more public than $10 for a kiss in a public booth. Summer tries to argue that Seth wouldn’t be a scab if he didn’t have to do any of the work. I don’t know many teenage boys who would pass that up, hell, most 20 and 30-something guys I know would be down. Not Seth Cohen though! He firmly tells her that her strike-busting techniques are no good and he holds strong.
Julie opens her front door to Caleb. He’s brought flowers and says that he missed her. He delivers an oh-so-romantic proposal: they are not love-struck teenagers and they should be able to come to some arrangement where they both get what they want from a relationship. She calls him out by asking straight up if this is a booty call, but then has to explain to Caleb what that is before slamming the door in his face. (L: Because she’s got a booty call 3/4 of his age! WEE.)
Next door, Sandy asks Kirsten how much she actually interacts with Uncle Shaughn on a daily basis at work. Turns out the dude isn’t in the office very much. Kirsten mentions that Shaughn can definitely be persuasive when he needs to be, so Sandy asks if she means “convincing argument persuasive or baseball bat persuasive.” Kirsten says she understands if Sandy doesn’t want to help him; she didn’t think he’d do it in the first place.
I can’t decide if that’s some reverse psychology stuff or just that she knows he’s conflicted about helping out a shady dude.
Sweeney: It’s “Kirsten’s tragically naive and ignorant to the situation” stuff.
Katherine: Seth comes in and Kirsten says that after she dutifully slaved over hot take out containers, dinner is ready. Ryan and Theresa enter just behind him.
Theresa is wonderful enough to actually ask if she can help, to which Kirsten gives her the complicated task of taking the food out of the to-go containers. Seth and Ryan chat off to the side and Ryan brings him up to speed on Theresa being engaged. Seth informs them that they have their very own Telanovela!
He get’s a prize for saying the title of the episode in the episode right?
Sweeney: YUP! A gold star!
Katherine: Over at Marissa’s, she’s laying in the dark watching TV when Jimmy comes home. Marissa has a perfect apathetic affect to her voice when she tells her dad that Ryan’s busy with a friend from home. She claims it’s not big deal. Father knows best though and points out that it is a big deal because Ryan is important to Marissa. She continues to brush it off, saying that, “it’s just high school,” and Jimmy seems to think that he’s the one who should be trivializing this stuff, instead of the person actually experiencing it.
He really is a good dad, you guys.
Sweeney: EH. On rare occasions, of which this is one. I’ll give him a whole eyebrow for that conversation.
Lor: That one eyebrow never gets less creepy.
Katherine: Marissa explains to her dad that she and Ryan are just friends, but Jimmy joins Newport’s “never been friends” chorus.
Back to the Cohen’s dinner table, where Theresa is entertaining everyone with stories about Ryan before he came to Newport. Seth playfully asks if Ryan fell down when he did musicals, prompting Sandy to chime in about his own musicals. Kirsten kindly requests that Sandy be cut off before he starts singing Greased Lightning, because of course he played Danny Zuko! (Peter Gallagher actually DID play Danny Zuko on Broadway.)
Seth proves himself to be a very supportive son, declaring Travolta to be Sandy’s bitch before Kirsten tells Theresa to go ahead with her story.
They were at the revolving restaurant at the Holiday Inn, and apparently Ryan has a thing about heights… cue doorbell! What is with this show? People call super early in the morning and they ring the doorbell at dinner time. For some reason, Theresa and Ryan look super awkward while Kirsten gets up to get the door. You don’t even know who it is yet! Why are you all worried faced?!
It is, of course, Marissa.
At the dinner table the Cohen boys are talking about revolving restaurants and how lovely they are. Sandy makes a good point about motion and digestion going so well together. How could anyone not like a revolving restaurant?
Kirsten walks in with their surprise guest and Marissa goes from that half-giddy state of knowing that you’re about to rip your heart out and hand it to someone you hope you can trust, to realizing that the thing standing most in her way of being able to trust him is sitting next to him having dinner. Sandy breaks the silence, but not quite the awkwardness, by asking if everyone knows everyone. The girls say a very polite hello to each other, and then Marissa makes a face that indicates her stomach may have actually just tied itself into a knot. That can’t be very comfortable. Sandy asks if Marissa is hungry. In a surprising turn of events, Marissa says that she’s starved and asks if it’s ok that she joins them. (L: Because food. Food is the great uniter.) Lots of awkward and tension ensues.
The next morning Ryan gets another early phone call, this time from Eddie, but Ryan clearly doesn’t want to deal with that quite yet. Seth tells Eddie that he couldn’t find him and then gets hung up on, proving that Eddie is totes tough, guys. Seth then asks Ryan about dinner last night, since it must’ve been a mild form of torture for him. Ryan pretends that he doesn’t know what Seth means. Seth steps in with brotherly advice from his recent experience with Summer and Anna:
Katherine: Ryan insists that there is no triangle since Marissa and he are not together and Theresa is just here for work. Great, except for all the obvious feelings the girls have for Ryan. The mystery in this situation, as Seth continues to explain, is how Ryan Atwood feels. Ryan simply says that it’s complicated.
Sandy and Caleb are talking in The Newport Group’s offices. Caleb says construction is a dirty business. He explains that bids are accepted below cost, permits get mysteriously approved at the last moment, making guys like Shaughn the life-blood of the industry. Sandy says that Caleb gave a touching speech, but his answer is still no. As Sandy walks away, Caleb says he’d be opening a Pandora’s box: if Shaughn starts talking, it’s not just Caleb that would be in trouble, because someone a little closer to Sandy is the one to sign Shaughn paychecks.
School With No Classes. Summer approaches Anna as she plays Ms. Pac-Man. Summer apologizes for the love triangle mess. And then Summer opens up a bit. Turns out, Summer is scared.
Sweeney: EW FOREVER. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, SHOW, YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SOPHOMORE CHARACTER ISN’T 18 AND THIS IS BOTH GROSS AND ILLEGAL.
Lor: And if he is an 18 year old sophomore, MAYBE HE SHOULDN’T BE SKIPPING CLASSES, YOU KNOW?
Katherine: Anna continues to good friend by relaying the information she learned about Summer back to Seth.
Ryan has gone to Chino to see Eddie. Ryan comes clean with Eddie, whose first question is, “Why lie?” It doesn’t get too confrontational, though, because Eddie seems pretty self-aware about her running away.
The Mermaid. Marissa is trying to wrap her head around the idea that Eddie and Theresa are going to get married. When Theresa confirms, Marissa says that she must love him a lot.
Eddie asks Ryan if he loves Theresa, but we already know that Ryan doesn’t know anything. Eddie knows. He loves Theresa and wants to take care of her. He doubts that Ryan could even if he wanted to. Eddie admits that this is a damn hard place to be and he can’t tell Ryan what to do, but if Ryan wanted to, he could talk to Theresa and convince her to come home. If that’s not what Ryan wants to do though, Eddie is ready to stake his claim and fight for Theresa. He leaves Ryan basically saying to think things through on the ride home.
Good job Eddie! Right?
Sweeney: Definitely a lot more mature than the usual punching in The OC.
Katherine: Theresa tells Marissa a boring story about a stained glass window in her mother’s church. Theresa of Avila’s heart is being pierced by the arrow of an angel, but even though it hurts her to love that much, she has the most beautiful smile. When Theresa got her first communion, she looked at that window and imagined what her wedding would be like. She’d be wearing a “real white dress,” because apparently the first communion one was digital or something, and she’d walk down that aisle and understand why Theresa of Avila was smiling.
Now that she’s at the ripe old age of 17, though, she’s admitting to Marissa that life isn’t really like that. You can’t just wish for the thing that’s not going to happen, instead you have to hold on to the next best thing.
Theresa decides to call Eddie and Marissa goes back to school. In true comedic fashion, Julie enters the room next door literally as Marissa exit’s Theresa’s room, but no one is found out. Marissa thanks Theresa for the talk and Theresa says she can see why Ryan likes it here.
Kissing booth time! Summer and that water polo dude whose name I don’t even remember are in a booth and there are lines out the door. We see Summer kiss one guy (though presumably she’s kissed a few before this) before Seth pushes up to the front of the line and hands the next guy in line a “refund” even though he clearly hasn’t actually paid. He declares that the show’s over before turning to Summer to attempt to sort this shit out.
Summer says one of my favorite lines in the episode:
Theresa is packing up her stuff in the hotel and on the phone asking for Eddie when Ryan knocks on the door. When Ryan asks about the packing, Theresa says that she thinks she should go home. Ryan agrees that she should do the right thing for she and Eddie. Except neither of them want Theresa to go. So they make out.
Lor: I’m pretty sure he wants her now because someone said they would fight him for her.
Katherine: As Theresa and Ryan make out in the doorway, we cut back inside the hotel room and hear Eddie on the other end of the line calling for Theresa, asking if she’s there.
Next time on the OC: Now that Seth and Summer are totes a thing, it’s time for the hypotenuse to die move back to Pittsburgh in The OC S01 E21 – The Goodbye Girl
I'm constantly covered in glitter, but surrounded by dinosaurs, so it tends to work itself out. I talk into a camera far less often than I'd like, but more often than most people seem to from the looks I get when I do it in public. Dr Pepper and Dots will always be a prefered date/hostess gift over flowers for me.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
