Lorraine: Dearest Traumateers, I am writing this recap from Paris! And sure, I like announcing that I’m in Paris as much as possible, but also, it’s kind of relevant because this is where we tell you what we’ve been up to.
Sweeney was traveling a ton in July (check out her videos about it here and here) and I met her a week ago in Paris. Since then, we’ve been waking up late, eating lots of bread and pastries, discussing the merits of goat cheese, almost dying on the Eiffel Tower (me), working some (Sweeney), talking a lot about Snark Squad (we can’t help it) and meeting a group of wonderfulamazing Traumateers!
Sweeney: WE GOT TO MEET THE ACTUAL LIFE FACES OF THE INTERNET! It was glorious meeting Laura, Willie, and Clément and eating macarons and BEING IN PARIS and other CAPSLOCK exciting things.
Lor: I ATE A LIFE CHANGING MACARON (thank you again, Polge).
I’m sure you’ll be hearing more about our adventures soon. In the meantime you can check out our #TourdeSnark tag on Twitter or watch this great video Willie posted about her one day in Paris/our meet-up.
Our posting will continue to be a bit abbreviated for another week or so but then we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming. Plus, we’ve got a cool new project we want to tell you about, but first:
Last Month:
We rounded up a group of posters to help us recap The OC! First, Sara reintroduced us to the gang when Ryan was partially responsible for burning down a model home. Diva recapped the return of Ryan’s mother, who decided rich people make better parents than her. Willie does her best to understand a Cotillion but no one understands a Cotillion especially ones where Jimmy gets punched in the face. The Lion recapped Ryan’s encounter with another kid from the wrong side of the tracks, which ends with Luke getting shot and Marissa running to his side. Jessica nicknames Caleb’s girlfriend (who kisses Ryan) Grandma Boobs and it’s the best. Lor takes us to Tijuana where Marissa overdoses and rolls around in an alley. Stephanie covered Marissa’s grand plan to not have to stay with Julie anymore by having Ryan yell at her. Molly roots on the budding Seth/Summer relationship and Ryan apologizes to Marissa on a Ferris wheel after attacking Luke. Ginny impresses us with her ability to discern Ryan’s shades of brood when he discovers Julie is dating Caleb.
Kirsti and the Democracy Diva started the (brave) task of recapping their way through Dawsons’s Creek. There’s a dance at Capeside High and Dawson gets super dramatic about it. Dawson finds out Jen’s vagina has been USED (ew) and is super dramatic about it. A hurricane blows through Capside and Mitch finds out his wife is a cheatery cheater. Grams puts her crazy racism aside and helps Bessie give birth using some Bible verses. The show tries a The Breakfast Club thing and fails pretty good at it. Jen’s ex-boyfriend comes back into town and she chooses neither between him and Dawson. The ex-boyfriend takes Dawson and Pacey to a club while Joey pretends to be pregnant to get back a rumor-spreading-jock.
On Veronica Mars, JTT guest stars as a dick and Veronica kisses Logan after he comes to her rescue. Veronica investigates a lost dog case, uncovers a dop-napping ring and witnesses Aaron beat a guy bloody all in one episode. Helping a girl take on her douchebag ex leads Veronica to discover that Logan was handing out GHB the night she was drugged and raped. Veronica pieces together what happened to her that night, and discoveres that she was with Duncan, who thought it was consensual, but also incestual. We end the season with an amazing finale that reveals Lilly’s killer and Veronica’s true parentage. We’re still crying.
The Halliwell sisters can’t control their powers, but keep telling each other to control their powers. Papa Halliwell shows up long enough to be negligent. Piper falls in insta-love with a ghost. A super creep goes after women who reject him via their dreams, but Prue defeats him with an impressive blink. Piper caters a wedding that’s been overtaken by a demon named D’mon. A lonely emo teen under the influence of a mirror demon tries to take out the Halliwells but is instead liberated from her black lipstick. Prue casts a truth spell and discovers her boyfriend Andy wouldn’t be able to handle knowing she’s a witch.
The Winchester boys locate a super special gun and it later gets a lot of people killed en route to the season 1 finale.
In Rosewood, Meredith poisons Aria and Spencer discovers that Toby is part of the A team. Spencer cries many beautiful tears and then hires a Craigslist private detective to find out where the A key leads.
The Fifty Shades trailer debuted and we broke it down for you guys, taking one for the team as always.
We managed to get one Segue Magic up and Lorraine talked about her favorite characters.
And speaking of things we finally managed, we recapped the last episode of Orphan Black’s season 2 in which we find out THERE ARE MALE CLONES.
Coming Up:
We still have a couple of shows we’re pretty sure we’re going to cover that we haven’t announced just yet. This one is a little different. We knew we wanted to cover a new fall TV show, (S: REAL TIME RECAPPING!) but we figured why not ask you lot which one it should be? I mean, no pressure or anything, just remember we have to commit lots of time and words to whatever wins the poll…
There are 10 choices below and you can pick up to 3! We’ll announce the winner in next month’s TMYK.
EDIT: We were putting together a playlist of trailers and discovered that many of the original 10 are actually mid-season shows. We’ve redone the poll accordingly. Please vote again! SORRY!
Here, for your convenience, is a full playlist of all 10 shows.
While we’re making announcements, though, I should add that after we post that Veronica Mars S1 Wrap Up post next week, VM will go up twice weekly! We know those have been a little slow for your taste. Ours too. We’re going to make that up to you next season. The S1 Wrap Up will go up on Wednesday as per usual, but when we start S2 the following week, posts will go up on Tuesdays & Fridays.
Welcome Questionable New Friends:
Shout out to the friend who Googled, “bad things in Sweet Valley High” and landed here. There are indeed bad things in that series. If you are like, 10, just put the books down. If you are an adult, pick the alcohol up.
Enjoy!
♥
The Snark Squad
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
