Previously: Prue cast a truth spell and Andy couldn’t handle the truth.
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The Witch is Back
Lorraine: I took a few weeks off of Charmed during vacation and I feel like I’ve forgotten everything that’s happened. Something tells me that won’t matter.
Salem, Massachusetts, 1692. Some woo-woo music plays as two men unlock a door where a woman is being held. She (Melinda) asks why he (Matthew) betrayed her and he says she got what she deserved. Matthew pretended to love Melinda, took her powers and then turned her in to be burned at the stake. Melinda rips her locket off and throws it at Matthew, telling him to keep his trinkets. He chuckles and opens it for contrivance reasons. Inside is a petal that bursts into a small flame. Melinda recites a curse and steals back her power. Matthew gets sucked into a magic funnel that deposits him right into the locket. 17th century Hit ‘Em Up Style, I guess.
Present Day. Buckland the Place. Buckland the Person is leaving some things out for Prue to catalog as she gets there first thing in the morning. He leaves and Prue picks up the last thing Buckland laid out: the Hit ‘Em Up Locket. She opens it and immediately releases Matthew. I feel like this plot is so quickly upon us. And so too is Matthew’s really bad acting as he is all, “what time is this!” Prue was able to release him, since she is a descendant of Melinda’s. He closes the gap between them and Prue sends him back with her telekinesis. He thanks her because he tricked her into using her powers on him, meaning he has them now. To prove this, he telekinesises a chair into her.
She tries to run away but he teleports behind her. He wants all three powers but quickly figures out that Prue doesn’t have them all. Matt (can I call him Matt?) busts the glass out of a window with his mind and jumps out, I guess telekinesising himself to a safe landing. And then he does that bad boy staple move and steals someone’s bread as he passes by a restaurant patio.
I AM THE SAHN.
Establishing Shots of We’re Still in San Francisco + Moody 90’s Music lead us back to Buckland’s after the credits. Police have gathered. Morris and Andy listen to a man’s account of Matt jumping out of the window. Of course, Morris is all, “SUUURE,” but Andy believes it. Morris asks for Andy’s supernatural explanation but he has no guesses yet. He does know that the office missing a window belongs to Prue.
Halliwell Manor. Leo is working on the kitchen sink while Piper hangs out around him. Phoebe comes in and Piper quickly pushes her out of the kitchen. Phoebe tells her to hurry up and just ask Leo out already. Piper is nervous. Back in the kitchen, Piper offers Leo some tea and Phoebe comes in again to annoy her sister. She also accidentally knocks over the jug of tea and Piper freezes time to save Leo from the spill.
Auction House. Buckland and Snooty Assistant are telling the detectives what they heard. When they came to check on Prue, she ran out without saying anything. Morris tells Andy maybe he should ask to be taken off the case, but he insists he’s totally fine with this in a way that says, “I am not fine with this.” In his office, Buckland gloats about how well that went. Snooty is wary of having a 17th century warlock running around, but Buckland is confident this will work out great.
Prue tells her sisters about Matthew and how he knew they were related to Melinda. “The Book of Shadows Melinda?” Phoebe badly exposits. “Our ancestor?” Yes, honey, hence why Prue used the word “related.” Prue says Matthew is strong, can teleport and is interested in getting all three powers. Phoebe grabs the locket and gets a flashback of the scene we saw in the cold open.
Matt is apparently going through all of the Halliwells in the phone book. He visits a lawyer completely unrelated to the 3Ps. Matt kills him anyway because he’s bad to the bone.
At the Manor, the girls are looking up stuff on Melinda and Matt. Prue wants to find out why the locket was on her desk in the first place. Downstairs, Leo is hanging out in the living room, watching TV. CAN YOU IMAGINE walking in on your handy man watching TV when you last left him fixing something in the kitchen? Amazing. Prue’s job is on the news and worse, Andy is at the door.
Phoebe answers and plays dumb when Andy asks where Prue is. Andy grabs her arm (RUDE.) and explains that not only did a man fall out of her window, but a lawyer named Halliwell was recently killed. Phoebe sassily asks where his warrant is and doesn’t wait for a response before heading back inside. Prue is freaking out. Piper suggests actually asking the police for help (HA!) but that idea is shot down. Phoebe says they can get help from their related ancestor Melinda Warren and she knows just how to do it.
In the attic, Piper is worrying about the spell. Phoebe assures her that Melinda will come back as a non-zombie with all her powers intact. They all prick their fingers, with more freaking out from Piper, and squeeze out drops of blood into the Hit ‘Em Up Locket. Phoebe tosses it into an already bubbling cauldron and says the thing:
Melinda Warren
Blood of our blood
Uh, great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother
We summon thee.
It would’ve sucked if she’d missed a great.
Melinda appears and sighs contentedly, because being alive is awesome.
Later, Phoebe is getting Melinda some clothes and there is a bit of fish-out-of-water back and forth about the awesomness of zippers, credit cards and coffee to keep you warm.
Matt has killed another person named Halliwell. Buckland the Person and Snooty Assistant find him and explain they can work together and help him locate the right Halliwells. Matt wonders how they found him, and I guess he doesn’t know that just about everyone in that century has access to the H section of the phone book. Not sure how Matt is finding his way around, though. Weird.
At the manor, Phoebe wonders why Melinda didn’t use her powers to escape being burned at the stake. Melinda had a daughter who would’ve also burned had Melinda used her powers and proven the witch charge correct. She sacrificed her life so the Warren line could continue. Phoebe asks why Warren women lose their mothers so early. Melinda says she can’t change the past, but offers to help them protect the future. Prue thinks Matt is too strong, plus he has the power to teleport. Melinda calls it blinking and wonders who he could’ve stolen that power from. I don’t know if that is more grandma foreshadowing, terrible writing, or the writer’s way of throwing up their hands and saying, “WE DON’T KNOW, ACTUALLY.” The point is that they need to curse Matt back into the locket.
The ladies consult the Book of Shadows for the curse. Melinda started the Book of Shadows, but each generation of Warren witch has added to it. Phoebe wonders if they can make up spells, and Melinda tells her that it will happen in time. They also bond about being stubborn woman with good cheekbones, or something.
Auction House. Buckland shows Matt pictures of the 3Ps and tells him he can find Piper at Qua ke. He volun-tells Hanna to drive Matt there.
Manor. Melinda says the curse is simple as long as they have the right ingredients. Phoebe lightly complains about how much they could be learning with the right teacher and Melinda tells her to savor her first gift before moving onto the next one. Phoebe is all, “UGH, but my power is the lame one!” Melinda tries to tell her that it’s awesome being able to see the past and future because she can “heal and protect.” It’s like when your mom used to say you were “special and unique.”
They are missing two things for the curse: herbs and a feather from a spotted owl. Prue volunteers to see if the zoo has the endangered species somewhere in feather plucking distance and Piper says she’ll go to Qua ke and grab the missing herbs. Phoebe offers to go with Piper. Melinda thinks this is stupid, you know, leaving the house when some crazy is out there looking for them, but the Halliwells are all, “no big! Self-preservation makes for bad TV.”
Qua ke. Phoebe rushes back into the kitchen but Piper gets stopped by a waitress to ask her if the guy with the “English accent” (HE’S SUPPOSED TO HAVE AN ENGLISH ACCENT???) found her. In the kitchen, Matt corners Phoebe. He grabs her and she has a vision of him choking Melinda.
He’s pretty happy because now he has Phoebe’s power, plus he knows Melinda’s back.
Andy tails Prue when she leaves to collect the owl feather. Melinda is left alone, but not for long, because Matt breaks in. Not sure why he wastes the effort when he could blink in.
Matt and Mel say threatening things to each other. He grabs her by the throat, throwing him into a vision of the witches finishing up the curse. He realizes Melinda is there to re-curse him. Matt asks where Prue is. Mel lies and says she’s at the zoo. Matt announces that he’s going to kill Prue, double back, kill the other two Ps and finish off by killing Melinda. Thank you for announcing your evil plans in great detail, bro! Matt seals his threats with a harassment-kiss, because he’s bad to the bone. He takes a few steps away and then blinks out. Why did he have to take any steps at all? A walking start? IDK.
Buckland the Place. Snooty comes back to say that she lost Matt. Actually, she doesn’t say anything because Buckland the Person reads her mind. He tells her to find Matt now, so basically she just wasted this trip here and we wasted a couple of minutes.
Piper and Phoebe get home and find a very shaken Melinda. Phoebe has the herbs and Melinda knows Prue has taken care of the feather. Cut to the museum where Prue’s leaving, feather in hand. She walks straight into Andy. He grabs her arm (SERIOUSLY. RUDE.) and pulls her away.
Matt has returned to the auction house to ask for help finding Prue, since he knows she’s working on that curse. Buckland sends Matt back to the Manor and gives him a gun.
Andy tries to get Prue to tell him what’s going on, with the feather and obstructing justice and all. Prue asks Andy to let her go, but when that doesn’t work she telekinesises the airbag so it deploys, trapping Andy as she runs away.
Manor. Piper, Phoebe and Melinda have finished the curse and just need the feather. They wonder if Matt will be hard to find. That’s the cue for him and his villain soundtrack to enter. He telekinesises the entire Piper over to him and it is HILARIOUS. He pulls the gun out and tells her to freeze him. Her reaction is also great.
Uh, whut? Why would that suddenly work without her power being copied? Guys?
Melinda says her curse. Matt is sucked back into his funnel and into the locket. Smiles all around for mission complete.
At the auction house, Snooty and Buckland freak out about the failed mission because “he” will be none too pleased with their failure. Snooty says they should’ve taken care of the 3Ps themselves, and Buckland roughly agrees before grabbing Snooty by the hair. So does he agree or not?
At the police station, Andy is saying he’s going to wake up a judge to get an arrest warrant for Prue. Morris is all, “LOL. Stop.”
Manor. Leo lets himself in and Piper runs downstairs to ask him to come back tomorrow ’cause they’re busy getting ready to send Melinda off. Leo says that’s fine. Before he goes, Piper asks him out on a date and he easily agrees.
In the attic, Piper tells the other girls that the coast is clear. Phoebe grabs Melinda’s hand and presses it against her heart. She asks what Melinda sees. She sees the future and many more generations of her ancestry. She thanks the 3Ps for that. They all hold hands. Prue says, “Melinda Warren, blood of our blood, we release you.” Melinda says she loves them and is spirited away in a flurry of lights. Phoebe and Piper say they’ll miss her. Prue smiles and says they can always bring her back. Probably they won’t, but they could!
Next time: Buckland and Snooty set out to frame Prue for murder in Charmed S01 E10 – Wicca Envy.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
