Pretty Little Liars S03 E22 – Murderers don’t eat carrots.

Previously: Spencer landed in Radley after finding Toby’s body in the woods.

Will the Circle Be Unbroken?

Lorraine: Mona is using a compact to both check her lipstick and spy on Hanna, Aria and Emily. She slams it shut and the music seems to think that’s a BFD. We head over to the Liars who are freaking out because Spencer is a no-show for school, even after an SOS text from Emily. Hanna tries to calm everyone down. Emily says that if Spencer doesn’t respond, they’ll go to her house after school.

The bell rings and the girls take off. They are stopped by someone I’m guessing is the principal. (S: LOL, look at him, pretending to have any authority at this fake school.) He’s with Melissa who is looking for Spencer. The girls all say they haven’t seen her, but they all say it while looking shiftily around. Even though they haven’t seen her. Melissa says surely, being Spencer’s friends and all, they must know something. Shifty eyes and silence, you guys. That’s all we get. Mona watches on with barely concealed glee.

Radley. Spencer is messing with a deck of cards when a nurse walks in. He introduces himself as Eddie and Spencer says she’s “Jane Doe.”

 
 
Sweeney: Even crazy, Spencer’s still my favorite Liar.

Lor: Eddie changes the dressing on her chin while Spencer asks him what a 302 is. She heard someone say that’s what she is. It refers to a law that allows paramedics to submit people for a psych evaluation instead of throwing them in jail. Spencer says she must be lucky, and Eddie thinks she is. She “luckily” (cough-contrivance-cough) landed at Radley instead of the county psych ward. Next, a doctor will come to evaluate her mental state. Spencer asks what’s wrong with her and Eddie hits her with a, “seriously?” look. He humors her and says she’s “supposed to” have amnesia. “If I do, I certainly don’t remember it,” Spencer jokes. Eddie takes off and Spencer plays with her cards again.

SHHHHHHH.

After school, or maybe not. Maybe the girls just decided to leave. Emily, Hanna and Aria all plan to look for Spencer in the places the police won’t look. They’ll check in with Melissa often and look until they find something.

Radley. Spencer is playing Solitaire. Because she’s ALONE. She stares very intently at the Joker card.

Ashley Marin searches the paper for any news of a dead body, as one does with their teenager, over some ambiguous meal at some undetermined time of day. Hanna basically tells her to calm the hell down. Pastor Ted calls but Ashley doesn’t want to answer it, probably because it’s kind of awkward since she threw a car at a man and all. Hanna answers it for her and tells Pastor Ted that her mom will definitely be at their coffee date. Ashley asks what the heck that was about and Hanna says they have to keep pretending like nothing is wrong. They snack on carrots. Like nothing is wrong.

Sweeney: How to get away with  murder? Carrots! Everybody knows murderers don’t eat carrots.

Lor: Aria texts Emily and Hanna to let them know that Spencer is not at the bookstore. It’s weird because she’s actually sitting in the Pedo-partment, watching Ezra work. She asks if he needs help with anything and he complains about not being able to charm his way out of arithmetic. OR JAIL, EZRA FITZ. Sorry. Point is that Ezra needs mo’ money to take care of his surprise baby and was thinking of going back to teaching. Of course. Ezra says he misses Aria and she’s all, “dude, I’m right here.” But still. He misses her. I wonder if he means in a, “seeing you in my classroom” kind of way. He was just talking about going back to teaching…

Radley. Spencer is at the piano. Dr. Sullivan calls out to her and she turns, slowly. “Olly, Olly oxen free,” she says pretty creepily.

Ashley and Hanna meet Pastor Ted for that coffee and he’s beaming over what a great find Dead Beat Duncle was. Things get even more awkward when Wilden just walks up like he wasn’t just mowed down my a car. WHAT IN THE HECK? NOT EVEN A LIMP? (S: THIS IS THE WORST BULLSHIT EVER.) He says some vaguely threatening things about how when you’re fishing you have to be patient before you catch something. And then he just leaves. I laugh so much when I watch these episodes, by the way. I laugh especially hard when the shot pans over and we see the church sign has this quote by Emerson: Commit a crime and the world is made of glass. BECAUSE OF REASONS. Jesus is probably like, “I remember the days when they used to quote me on those things.” Maybe.

Spencer tells Dr. Sullivan that it was real nice not to be Spencer Hastings for a few hours, which is why she was pretending not to know who she was. Sullivan wants to know what happened in the woods and Spencer tells her about seeing Toby’s dead body. Dr. Sullivan says she’s going to call Spencer’s family and the police. Spencer cries.

Sweeney: Because Spencer’s family and Rosewood PD are both the actual worst.

Lor: I would cry too.

Shitbag Montgomery is working at his desk when Aria comes in to talk to him about Ezra. Piper Mom already told him all about the Surprise Baby, but that’s only half the thing. Aria is actually here to ask if her dad can help Ezra find a teaching job. “He’d probably still be teaching at Hollis,” she has the nerve to say, “if things had worked out differently.” Shitbag’s little head-nod, eyebrows raised to high heaven, “PROBABLY,” is the most I’ve ever liked him. Aria asks if he’s unsure if he can help or he’s unwilling to help. IDK girl. It’s a lot of responsibility to put a confirmed sexual predator in the path of other minors, you know? Give your dad a break.

Melissa is telling Spencer that her parents are trying to catch a flight back from the land of Absenteeparenting, but the weather is bad. ALL OVER THE WORLD. Melissa says she’s going to try and get Spencer out, but a totally over it Spencer says not to bother it. It’s a 72 hour evaluation which means it’ll be over by the time her parents beat the world wide bad weather. Melissa is freaking out and also saying really badly timed stuff about how she thought Spencer was cruel and not unwell. Thanks, Melissa. Good sistering.

Sweeney: Prior to that line, I was almost sympathetic to Melissa because of the too-close-to-home-realness of this scene. Then Melissa reminded everyone how wretched she is. Thanks! That was a close one – it was a very confusing 15 seconds.

Lor: Emily, Aria and Hanna meet at the One Coffee Shop and Emily fills them in on how Dr. Sullivan found Spencer at Radley. They wonder what she was doing wandering in the woods all night and want to go visit her. They can’t however. Hanna’s phone chimes and she shows the girls a picture of Ashley and Wilden and it’s marked, “-A.”

At Radley, Eddie is giving Spencer some antibiotics. She’s all, “tranquilizers, though?” Shortly after, she notices Eddie’s ID. His name is E. Lamb. Spencer exclaims, “your name is LAMB?” and Eddie takes it in stride. I guess you learn to take those kinds of outbursts in stride when you work at worst fictional sanitarium ever.

Hanna tells Ashley about Spencer’s trip to Radley. Ashley sighs and announces that she’s canceling a work trip to New York. Hanna wants her mother to go, not only on the trip, but after the promotion that comes with it, even if it means relocating. Ashley is all, “it can’t be as easy as leaving Rosewood!” LOL, CAN’T IT, ASHLEY? I mean, it won’t solve all your problems but YES, PEOPLE. LEAVING WOULD FIX A LOT. (S: GUYS, THE REST OF THE WORLD ISN’T THIS CRAZY, WE PROMISE.) Hanna convinces her mother to just go to the seminar. She’ll stay with Emily in the meanwhile.

Emily visits Dr. Sullivan to ask about Spencer. Dr. Sullivan tells her about Spencer’s claim to have seen Toby’s body in the woods. The police have been searching, but surprise, surprise, there is no body.

Rosewood High for Adults Discussing Their Child Dating An Adult. Piper Mom and Shitbag Montgomery wonder what to do about the Ezra thing. Piper Mom smiles as she says that push comes to shove and Aria reached out to her parents. That probably doesn’t take any of the sting out of the fact that she was lying to you about dating her English teacher for forever, but you keep looking on that bright side, girl! Shitbag admits that Ezra was fired because of him, so he could talk to the dean about it. Ezra is a good teacher. Piper Mom says other parts of his character are less than ideal. LOL. Shitbag says that if they help stabilize Ezra’s new family he might end things with Aria. He asks if that’s a reason to help. You go ahead and try and break those two up, dude. You got ahead and try.

Sweeney: Because things like getting fired, violating laws, and general ethics have already failed.

Lor: Dr. Sullivan just broke the news to Spencer that Toby’s body is gone. Spencer can’t believe it because she saw it. She saw the body. Dr. Sullivan asks if she saw his face, in that delicate, “are you sure you aren’t just crazy?” way. Spencer asks to see her friends, but she can’t until her evaluation is over. She tells Dr. Sullivan to pass on the message that she misses them.

Rosewood’s One Coffee Shop. Emily’s there to meet Shana who said she wanted to talk. Shana’s all, “there is someone I want to introduce you to!” It’s Olympic gold medalist, Missy Franklin. UM.

thor animated GIF
Sweeney: MOST RANDOM “THAT GUY” IN THE HISTORY OF TRAUMALAND.

Lor: Eddie is changing Spencer’s bandages again and she’s asking really suspicious questions about how the ID badges work at Radley. He assumes she’s thinking jailbreak, and tells her that 72-hours is nothing. She asks what happens if she’s really crazy, but Eddie is sure she isn’t. To prove that, I guess, he admits that there was some trouble with the old IDs, but won’t be more specific.

Hanna is packing and Aria is watching. Aria wants to talk about Spencer, but Hanna’s moved on to worrying about her mom for a while.

 
Aria says that being in New York isn’t going to stop Wilden from coming after them, but Hanna still wants her mother to have the relocation option. Wilden reported his car as stolen and Aria’s afraid they’ll find it with GPS or something, but Hanna is sure GPS won’t work underwater. Because of science.

Does This Count As Product Placement Coffee Shop. Missy Franklin says goodbye to her new friends. Emily didn’t know Shana was a swimmer. Shana wonders why Paige wouldn’t mention it. I still have no idea what’s happening.

Spencer and Eddie are chatting again. This time, Spencer has told him about Toby using his ID to get in and out of Radley. Eddie wonders why he would go through the trouble. Spencer explains that he would’ve been doing things for Mona out in the world. She tells Eddie Toby’s real name and that’s his cue to be all, “how about that pudding, am I right?” Spencer presses and he shares that the problems with the ID and visitor passes were traced back to someone on the staff. He won’t say who, because he likes his job and wants to keep it. Before he leaves, he does tell Spencer that she happens to be in Mona’s room, though. BECAUSE OF COURSE THIS IS MONA’S ROOM. OF COURSE. Spencer looks around the room for exactly one second and sees that something is etched onto the desk in the room: Will the circle be unbroken?

Look at you, desk! YOU DISPLAYED THE THING! Have a star:

title star

 

Sweeney: I’m happier about giving this to a desk than I would be about giving it to 82% of the actual humans on this show.

Lor: We Aliback to a church. Mona is really into singing “Will The Circle Be Unbroken.” Janel Parrish seems to have a very nice voice and Wikipedia tells me she’s a singer! Have a Youtube video in case you don’t believe Wikipedia or something. Across the aisle, Ali and Spencer are also singing along, nicely as well. We know Lucy Hale sings. WHERE IS MY MUSICAL EPISODE, ABC FAMILY? (S: ALL THE MUSICAL EPISODES. Also that would be fucking amazing.) The real point of this scene is that Ali laughs and Mona.

 
Outside of the church, Alison makes fun of Mona some more and Spencer asks why she even bothers with church. Alison opens up a journal and jots something down. She was doing that all through the service as well. Spencer wants to see it but Alison says she’ll have to wait until after. “After I’m dead.” Spencer doesn’t want to read the stupid diaries anymore. Alison says she’ll need them, though, to carry on after she’s gone.

Sweeney: I get that pointing out illogical things in Rosewood is an exercise in futility, but why didn’t Spencer have this flashback when they first found that one diary of Ali’s? Sorry, sorry, I’ll stop poking holes in the tissue paper plot.

Lor: In the present, Spencer looks around to see if anyone else just had a strangely timed flashback. She’s alone in the room, though. So.

Shitbag is having coffee with Ezra at the Pedo-partment, which now hilariously has 100% more toys! What’s a pedo-partment with no toys? Ezra didn’t tell Aria to go to her parents for help. He isn’t mad at Aria for doing so, but there are things about his situation that he hasn’t been able to tell her. “Pride is a tricky thing,” Shitbag offers and chases that burn with a long swig of coffee. After a pause Ezra is all, “so, why are you here again?” FOR FREE COFFEE AND TO INSULT YOU, BOOYAH. (S: AWESOME! SIGN ME UP!)

Really, Byron just wanted to say that he asked if there was room for Ezra at Hollis and there isn’t. Ezra asks why he’s helping at all and Byron admits that he’s at a point in his life where he seems to be making lots of amends to people. Ezra tries a burn of his own with, “there is no shortage of bad judgement in this world.” Byron has him out-sassed because he follows that up with, so, tell me about your son.” All the giggles.

Spencer plays Will the Circle be Unbroken on the piano at Radley but stops because Eddie’s ready to slip her some more information. He’s met only one Toby in his whole life, a kid who used to come visit when his mother was a patient at Radley. (S: Raindrops of shit: they also have a weird conversation about Toby being this super rare, weird name, which was also hilariously absurd.) Eddie says it’d be one heck of a coincidence if it were the same Toby and Spencer agrees. She just doesn’t believe in coincidences as much as she used to. Eddie gets spooked when two official looking people approach the reception desk. He peaces out.

Rosewood High for 7 Hours of Bathroom Breaks, 1 Hour of Lunch. Bathroom break: The girls figure they’ll get the full story once Spencer is released but Aria worries that maybe she won’t be. Maybe she’s really snapped. Aria never thought it would be Spencer who would snap first, but Hanna did because there’s a downside to being too smart. No, girl. (S: Also, fuck Aria for adding a, “Spencer was the weak link,” to this stupid conversation.) Mona walks in and the girls are just going to leave, probably to another bathroom, but Mona asks where Spencer is.

 
 
 
Some of the bite is taken out of her threat when at that moment, she’s called over the PA system to the principal’s office.

There, the principal explains that Ezra has applied to the school board for a substitute teach position, meaning he’ll eventually be assigned to cover a class at Rosewood. It’s come to the principal’s attention that Aria was seeing Ezra socially after he left Rosewood High. (HA.) He asks in very vague terms if that is still the case. Aria quickly says that it certainly isn’t and in fact she only saw Ezra a couple of times. Nothing serious. The principal seems to think that’s enough to be all, “perfect! No abuse of power or statutory rape here! MOVE IT RIGHT ALONG.”

Sweeney: Because everything in Rosewood is terrible. Also, LOLOLOL at the repeated, awkward uses of “socially.”

Lor: Mona shows up and Radley AND YOU GUYS, REALLY? CAN NO ONE KEEP THIS GIRL’S PAST STALKER AWAY FROM HER? NOT EVEN IN THE HOSPITAL?

Ashley tells Pastor Ted about the possible promotion and he’s sad. He also suspects there might be something else at work here, and wants to help Ashley, but she says there is nothing for him to worry about.

Mona. Still at Radley. Offering Spencer cookies. I think I’m past the point of laughing now. It always comes to this. (S: It’s only funny for about 30 minutes. It inevitably turns a little ragey in the final 15.) Spencer says Mona is taking a heck of a risk coming to see her. She asks why Mona killed Toby. Mona calls that an interesting question. Why would Mona kill Toby and then come talk to Spencer? She brings up that one time Spencer turned down her invitation to join the A team. Spencer says that whatever Mona needs now? The answer is no. Mona blurts out that Ali wasn’t pregnant. She thought she was, but it was a false alarm. See, Mona has those diaries Ali wrote. Not all of them, but most of them, and she knows where the others are. She has the answers Spencer wants. Spencer growls for Mona to leave her alone AND CAN NO MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS HELP THIS GIRL? Spencer says she’ll start choking Mona again, especially now that she has nothing left to lose. “They already think I’m crazy.” Mona says she isn’t crazy. “You’re as sane as I am.” Evil.

That night, Ashley says goodbye to Hanna so she can leave for New York. As soon as Ashley drives away, Wilden pulls up. Emily says to leave it alone, but Hanna wants to go poke the bear. Very dramatically, Wilden basically says the only thing he wants from the Marins is his car. He didn’t specify in what shape, so maybe you should just tell him about the lake, Han!

The episode ends with Spencer at group therapy with Dr. Sullivan. I’m pretty sure this entire plot line is really about giving Troian Bellasario dramatic monologues. She apologies to the group, saying she knows some of them have real problems. Dr. Sullivan says she does too, and Spen looks around, a bit judgey. She starts to cry as she says that she fell down in the woods and saw the ground her arm and an acorn and was okay with those being the last things she’d ever see. But it wasn’t the end and she kept on seeing. “How do you keep going when the worst thing has happened?” Who do you have to become to survive tragedy? She doesn’t know who she is anymore. She looks up and sees Emily, Hanna and Aria.

 
 
When she looks back up again they are gone and Dr. Sullivan sits and examines her. More tears.

A-nonymous: There is a new A Lair and this time it’s in an RV. For the stalker on the go!

 

 

Next time on Pretty Little Liars: The episode description just says A puts the girls in a difficult position. SO BASICALLY ANY EPISODE EVER in S03 E23 – I’m Your Puppet.

 

Marines (all posts)

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.





Nicole Sweeney (all posts)

Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.





Marines

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.