Dawson’s Creek S02 E19 – CRYFACE

Previously: The Icehouse catered a wedding, Joey and Dawson made up and/or out, and Abby got drunk on stolen champagne and drowned.

—

Abby Morgan, Rest in Peace

Kirsti: Outside Leery Manor, Joey and Dawson – still in their catering outfits – make out. There’s some brief discussion that’s clearly of the “we should go upstairs and boink” variety before they climb up the ladder. IS THE DOOR BROKEN?!?!?! I hate these people. (D: Cosign.) Anyway, they reach the Shrine o’ Spielberg and start kissing again, but Joey stops in surprise when she sees Jen sitting on the bed, weeping. They ask her what’s wrong, and she tearfully explains that Abby’s dead. Joey hugs her and Jen starts to sob.

Democracy Diva: A round of applause to Michelle Williams, who was a really fucking good actress SO LONG AGO.

K: YUP.

I DON’T WANNA WAIT.

After the credits, it’s Monday morning. Joey sits on her front porch looking at pictures of her mother. Her dad asks why she’s walking down Memory Lane, and she tells him that Abby’s death – even though Abby was a terrible person – has made her think. He suggests that they talk about her mother, but Joey’s not okay with that idea. She’s all “OKAY, SCHOOL NOW, BYE” and runs off. I feel like I should mention that she’s rocking the 1999 zig-zag part, which I think we last saw on Tara when she and Willow first met. Aww. Memories…

Capeside High, Employer of Shitty and Untrained Teachers. Jen walks in and literally everyone stares at her. Cut to the gang in class where a grief counsellor wearing an awful tie dye dress talks to them about sharing their emotions to help them get over their feels. (D: If Team Feels were personified by a high school teacher, this would be that teacher.) (K: TRUTH.) Everyone but Jen looks bored. Pacey picks his teeth. A random girl announces that the Girls’ Services League is distributing yellow armbands in Abby’s memory. Jen closes her eyes in a “this is the worst thing ever” way. Tie Dye Counsellor asks if she wants to share her feelings. Jen, wearing a light coat of Faith’s Coma Makeup, is all “LOL NOPE”. Tie Dye Counsellor asks Andie instead, and Andie says she feels shocked because Abby was so full of life. Jen looks horrified and storms out.

In the cafeteria, the Girls’ Services League hand out armbands and thank people for honouring Abby’s memory. Joey sits down with Dawson to earn their sponsorship dollars (read: drink Diet Coke) and talk about what happened between them on Saturday night.

He says that it’s not really the time to discuss it, and she reluctantly agrees. Then they discuss how much they hated Abby and how it’s weird that everyone is all “OMG TRAGEDY”. Dawson can’t imagine what the funeral is going to be like. Joey says awkwardly that she’s not going, because the last funeral she went to was her mother’s. She hasn’t visited her mum’s grave or dealt with her feels yet, and she’d rather keep pretending they didn’t exist.

Diva: Because Joey Potter is the embodiment of Team Heartless Cow. That’s how much she hates feels.

K: As the leader of Team Heartless Cow, I hereby refuse Joey Potter’s membership. Even we don’t hate feels that much. “Joey, your mother died three years ago. If you have these feelings you haven’t dealt with, how long were you planning on waiting?” Dawson asks. Apparently forever – she’s still holding onto hope that her mother will come back. Dude, no. You’ll give Dawson ideas for a zombie movie… Speaking of Dawson, he’s on hand to tell her that she’s an idiot and that she should give up on her childish hopes. She tells him that he has no idea what it’s like.

Andie finds Jen with a serious case of panda mascara in the bathroom. She asks if she’s okay, and Jen snaps that dealing with Abby’s death was hard enough without having to watch everyone pretend they loved Abby. It’s ridiculously insincere when everyone thought she was a major bitch. Andie doesn’t think it’s fair to “malign her character” now that she’s dead, but Jen wishes everyone would just acknowledge who Abby really was rather than pretending. Andie follows her out of the bathroom and says that she understands how hard it must be. Jen snaps that she’s sick of everyone treating her like a celebrity just for being there when Abby died. She scoffs that everyone hated Abby because she crushed their egos, and even after death, she’s showing up hypocrites like Andie.

Andie says a little apologetically that she tried to reach out to Abby, but Abby kept rejecting her. Jen cries that it’s all Andie’s fault anyway – if she hadn’t kicked them out of the wedding, they wouldn’t have been drinking on the docks in the first place, and Abby wouldn’t have drowned. “Don’t say that,” Andie says tearfully. Jen declares that she can’t deal with school any more and says she’s going home.

Leery Manor. Dawson tells Gail that school was hella weird because everyone’s dutifully mourning when they’re secretly a little bit glad Abby’s dead. Gail doesn’t really care because she’s got some big news: her shitty interview with Abby, Jen, Andie and Joey won some kind of award (D: HOW?!) (K: IDEK) and she’s been offered a job as a network correspondent as a result. Dawson hugs her with excitement until she reveals that the job – which comes with more money and more responsibility – is in Philadelphia. She’s not sure if she’ll take it, but if she does, Dawson will stay in Capeside and Mitch will move back in to Leery Manor. Dawson’s mostly concerned that this would mean no chance of a reconciliation between his parents because everything’s about him. Gail says that Mitch clearly has no fucks to give about saving their marriage (uh, yeah. The divorce papers were kind of a giveaway), so she’s got nothing left. “You’ve still got me,” Dawson replies. Not really much of a consolation prize, I’m afraid… And Gail’s face says she agrees:

Diva: A+ caption.

K: Thank you. Chez Grams. Grams is worried about Jen, who’s wrapped in a blanket on her bed. She wasn’t fond of Abby mostly because she always thought Abby was mocking her – at that, Jen cracks a smile – but she was Jen’s friend, and she doesn’t understand why God would take someone so young. Jen says that she’s never been one of the God-bothering, but Grams insists that God has a plan for everyone, even poor dead Abby. Jen snaps that she doesn’t want to discuss religion right now (legit, girl), and Grams backs off, saying that she’s there for Jen “whenever you need me.”

At a cafe downtown, Pacey assures Andie that she wasn’t responsible for Abby’s death. In fact, she bent over backwards to be friends with her. LOL, OKAY. He says she shouldn’t be feeling guilty, and Andie (rightly) says that he can’t tell her how to feel. Pacey apologises, but says he doesn’t like seeing her upset. Andie gets hella awkward when Abby’s not-very-upset-looking mother walks in. It gets worse when Mrs. Morgan comes up to them because she recognised Andie from giving her a lift home that one time. She says that she knows Andie and Abby were friends, and says Abby talked about her all the time. She doesn’t know any of Abby’s other friends and asks if Andie would deliver the eulogy. DUDE, NO. But Andie can’t hear me yelling and she agrees. When Mrs. Morgan leaves, Andie gives Pacey “OMFG WHAT DO I DO” face and we fade to black.

Diva: Poor literally everyone in this scene. I am going to run out of feels soon at the rate I’m going.

K: YUP. After the Not Commercial Break, Pacey tells Andie she doesn’t have to give the eulogy, but she insists that she has to find a way to say nice things about Abby because she still remembers the things people said at her brother’s funeral. They arrive at Abby’s house and are shocked to find that it’s your nice normal rich-person Capeside house, and not a cobweb covered castle full of gargoyles. Inside, there are flowers everywhere. They’re there because Andie really wants to see Abby’s room, though Pacey declares it to be hella morbid. Meanwhile, Jen is drinking on the docks where Abby died, numerous wreaths beside her. She hurls one into the water as she cries.

Pacey and Andie sneak into Abby’s room. He bounces awkwardly that he wants to go because it’s too freaking weird.

Diva: I wholeheartedly agree.

K: Approximately 90% of the reason I haven’t quit this show already is Pacey. And the other 10% is Future Events Involving Pacey… Andie finds Abby’s diary and starts flipping through it, hoping she’ll get to know the REAL Abby. But apparently the Abby they knew WAS the real Abby because she refers to Jen as a slut, her mother as “a dried-up old wench” and Andie as a psycho. Pacey pulls the diary away and buries it in a drawer as Andie looks dispairing.

Capeside High, Employer of Shitty and Untrained Teachers. Dawson finds Mitch in an empty classroom and Mitch gets all gooey about how death makes you realise how much you love people. Dawson tells him about Gail’s job offer and I’m pretty sure this isn’t information that should be coming from your sixteen year old, Mitch. (D: My notes say the same thing. Will Dawson have to ask Mitch to move back into their house, too?) Anyway, Mitch says he’ll call and offer his congratulations, and Dawson gets butthurt that Mitch would just let Gail leave, because once again everything is about him. He storms out.

Icehouse. Jack demands the gossip about Dawson and Joey, but Joey says everything’s on hold for the time being because of the Abby situation. He asks how she’s feeling, and Joey says she’s got a lot on her mind before asking him the same thing. He’s mostly weirded out about the idea that he’s probably the last person Abby ever kissed. “Well, at least she went out with a bang!” Joey says. They stare at each other in shock for a second, then start giggling.

Diva: And for the first time in human history, I laughed at a line that was actually supposed to be funny and delivered by Katie Holmes. 

K: ME TOO.

Back at Capeside High, Dawson’s watching footage of Abby from his shitty movie. Pacey walks in and wants to talk about Andie and how he doesn’t think she should be doing the eulogy. But when he realises what Dawson’s doing, he changes the topic to how weird it must be to edit a movie where one of your leading ladies is dead. They watch Abby make a melodramatic speech and then break into giggles because Laney Boggs has food in her teeth. Pacey and Dawson smirk fondly.

Chez Grams. Jen comes home drink drank drunk and Grams tells her to stop masking her grief with booze. Instead, she should focus on all the good memories she has of Abby and take comfort in the fact that she’s in Heaven now. Jen scoffs that if she’s anywhere, Abby’s in Hell and doing tequila shots with Satan. Grams tells her God has a special place for the children and Jen snaps that there is no God and the only truth she knows is pain. She tells Grams to keep her religion to herself because it makes her puke. Grams yells that Jen keeps breaking all of her rules and polluting her house with blasphemy. Jen, in a typical teenage way, yells that if she can’t be herself and speak her mind maybe she’ll just move out. She storms off to her room.

The next morning, Joey and her dad are having breakfast. Joey can’t get a clear picture of her mother in her head, and it’s freaking her out. He understands, saying that the loss of his wife combined with the guilt of being in prison was almost too much to handle. But he knows that his wife’s still there, because he sees so much of her in Joey. The Tinkly Orchestra tinkles as he lists a bunch of qualities that Joey shares with her mother. Joey looks thoughtful.

Andie and Pacey walk along the beach while she freaks about the idea of having nothing nice to say for the eulogy she has to deliver in a couple of hours. Pacey suggests she tell the truth, but Andie’s all “Hahahahaha, NO.” He says he’ll give the speech if it’ll stop her from having a nervous breakdown. She tells him that it’s not necessary – she knows what it’s like to love someone with mental illness, and she doesn’t want to permanently be the damsel in distress to his knight in shining armour. “I need to take care of myself,” she says, and I cheer a little. (D: ME TOO!) Only a little though, because I can see the future. (D: Me too. #feels) She’s going to deliver the eulogy, no matter what. Pacey smiles and kisses her forehead.

Funeral of Awkwardness. Pacey makes sassy comments about how if Andie dies delivering the eulogy, they can just shove her in the coffin with Andie. Joey slips into a pew next to Dawson and asks him to hold her hand because she’s having Dead Mommy Feels. Grams sits down next to Jen, and says she forgives her for her behaviour the previous night. Jen coldly says that she doesn’t want forgiveness. She wants understanding, which Grams clearly isn’t capable of giving.

The service starts, and the pastor invites anyone who wants to share their memories of Abby to come forward. Everyone looks awkwardly around the church, but no one moves.

Mrs. Morgan looks a little broken. Jen gets up and walks to the pulpit. She says that she was friends with Abby, but that Abby had a toxic personality. Abby could be cruel and petty, and if God created Man in his image, what does Abby say about God? She goes on to say that Abby taught her lots of things, like how to do tequila shots with one hand behind your back, and how to live life with your own values, and what a load of bullshit God is. And for that, for the honesty she always provided, she’ll always be grateful to Abby. The congregation looks awkward and horrified as Jen returns to her seat. Grams glares at her and storms out.

Diva: That caption gets a 1430.

K: I give good caption, yo.

Mrs. Morgan looks pleadingly at Andie, and Andie walks to the pulpit. She begins by saying that there are people in her life who she can turn to when things are hard, who’ll pick her up and help her get back on her feet. But there’s an equally important group of people who challenge her and push her to her breaking point and force her to find her courage. Abby was one of those people, and Andie’s a much stronger person because of her. “She was one of a kind. There’s no one like her and she will always hold a special spot in my heart,” she finishes. Jen eyerolls and Mrs. Morgan cries. Pacey smiles with pride. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, late 90s soft rock plays as the mourners place yellow roses on Abby’s coffin at the cemetery. I continue to be disturbed by this very American practice of everyone going to the cemetery, possibly because I don’t know anyone who’s been buried. Australia: the sun cremates you while you’re alive, so why not continue the cremation tradition after death?  Also, I’m kind of expecting to see Buffy lurking in the background waiting for Abby to rise…

Diva: I did not know that about Australia!

K: You’d think we’d be all about burial given how much space we have. But NOPE. Probably because we’re a nation of cheapskates and a plot in a cemetery costs over $20,000 while cremation is like $2,000… Anyrandomsegue, Dawson and Joey walk together, and he says that editing the footage of Abby made him realise that he doesn’t want to die with regrets. He says that he’s happy about what happened between them the other night. She kisses him, and says that she’s happy too, but there’s somewhere she has to go. He says he’ll walk her there.

Pacey tells Andie she did great. She says a little sadly that she needed to do this because it’s brought her closer to Tim. She spots Jen crying by the coffin and goes to talk to her. Jen apologises for blaming Andie and says that Abby’s death was her fault, she could have saved her. Andie tells her she did everything she could, and that her speech was just honouring Abby’s spirit truthfully. Jen says sadly that sometimes it’s better not to be truthful and Andie looks horrified as she realises that Mrs. Morgan might find Abby’s diary.

Diva: I loved this scene. I was so uncomfortable with Jen’s eulogy until Andie made me realize that Jen Abby-ed the shit out of that speech. It was inappropriate, and offensive, and underneath it all was vulnerability. Just like Abby.

K: YES. Exactly. Across the cemetery, Dawson watches as Joey tearfully kneels by her mother’s grave. He walks over to join her, and says that he’s sure her mother is happy because she’s looking down on Joey. Joey leans her head on Dawson’s shoulder. Jen arrives home to find Grams packing up her stuff. She says she went to the funeral to be supportive and try and fix their relationship, but Jen shat all over it. She says that Jen was deliberately hurting her with the speech she made at the funeral. Not anyone else, just her. Grams continues, saying that Jen needs to live with someone she respects, and clearly she’s not that person. She walks inside and closes the door, leaving Jen on the porch surrounded by her stuff. They both break down and I have a hayfever attack.

Diva: WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK, GRAMS. SHE IS SIXTEEN AND HER FRIEND JUST DIED AND HER PARENTS DON’T LIVE IN THIS TOWN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

K: RIGHT?!?

Andie creeps up to Abby’s bedroom and grabs her diary from the dresser. When she looks up, she sees Abby reflected in the mirror.

When she turns around in shock, there’s no one there. She stares around her in confusion and we fade to black.

Well. That was a thing.

 

Next time on Dawson’s Creek: Joey and Dawson go on a date that doesn’t end as expected. Also, Andie has some more mental health problems because, you know, she didn’t already have enough to deal with… Find out more in S02 E20 – Reunited.