Dear Traumateers,
Sweeney: In TMYK tradition, here is the part where I explain why this month was crazy. This month was a boring kind of crazy, which is one of the worst kinds of crazy months – being beaten out for that title only by sad crazy. After a summer of adventures, my workload increased considerably and so did Lorraine’s who not only got more work stuff, but also started school.
Lorraine: BOOOO. I mean, fine, yay education or whatever, but boo. My return to school has lined up with Sweeney’s finally being done with it, which is strange for both of us, I think. If we keep trading off this way, though, you can just always assume that some of the time used putting together this blog should’ve been spent on schoolwork. Forever and ever.
Sweeney: We also went out and found ourselves another student to join our ranks, because Procrastinating School Work is a core part of the blog’s inter-workings.
In the midst of all of that, we wisely decided to start two new shows (and more coming up!) because we have the best time management skills ever. Also because we secretly and subconsciously conspire against our own happiness. (L: I always make fun of characters for their lack of self-preservation; look at my life and my choices.)
Whenever Lorraine and I hang out offline, I unsubtly use TMYK as a way of saying, “ALSO THERE’S A VIDEO OF US HANGING OUT!” and even though this video is still from the previous time of us hanging out, I didn’t post it until September because I was busy making all the videos for VEDA in August. Point being: we went to a wine tasting and you can watch all the important things we learned at this wine tasting.
While being on Not Vacation is very upsetting (and also the thing we complained about in last month’s TMYK and probably every TMYK for the rest of time that we remain on Not Vacation) it was super good for the blog.
Last Month:
Seriously, though. Looking at the calendar, we had a minimum of a post a day, Monday-Saturday all month. Other than a couple Charmed and Pretty Little Liars posts, we got everything else up on time this month including the introduction of our new insane schedule wherein some days have three posts. (And shit’s about to get crazier, but more on that in a minute.) I just want to take a moment for some self-high-fiving because I’m proud of us. GO TEAM.
We started the month in Capeside where Andie admitted that she likes Pacey and then, for a non-supernatural show, a disproportionate commotion was made of the full moon. The Snark Ladies celebrated when Dawson and Joey broke up and the gang had an all-night study session minus the actual studying. Jack and Joey started dating. Abby ran her student council campaign like the sociopath that she is before getting cast in Dawson’s shitty movie. Everyone obsessed over everyone else’s sexual histories. Finally, the ladies doled out hugs for Intern Pacey when his father was a royal douche at a father-son fishing trip.
Over in Newport Seth and Summer had sex and then Seth declared his love publicly on top of a kissing booth. Anna was over playing hypotenuse so she went back to Pittsburgh. The gang went to Los Angeles to hang out with TV stars parodying themselves (and we got our second Paris Hilton sighting in Traumaland). Seth’s Nana came to town to reveal that she has cancer. The Gruesome Twosome got engaged and Julie was furious when Marissa invited her sister to her bridal shower. Theresa discovered she is pregnant and we ended season 1 with The Gruesome Twosome wedding and Ryan and Seth fleeing The OC.
Meanwhile, on Veronica Mars: Wallace moved to Chicago with his newly discovered dad and Keith lost the Sheriff’s race. Duncan and Veronica discovered that Meg’s parents are abusive psychopaths and then Veronica nearly died confronting the local Irish mafia. We did a lot of Sunnydale flailing: Willow and Cordelia met up in Neptune and it was MAGICAL. Also we learned that Meg not only miraculously survived the crash, but was pregnant. And her baby survived because to each generation is born a chosen one. Meg died, but her Vampire Slayer Baby survived. In her worst decision making to date, Veronica and Duncan kidnapped his baby and he fled the country/the show. Veronica helped Wallace clear his name after he got framed for a hit-and-run in Chicago and bonded with Jackie when money went missing at the school carnival.
Supernatural introduced Jo, Ellen, and Ash (bringing Alona Tal to Traumaland again just before her untimely demise in Neptune.) More Sunnydale excellence when Amber Benson played a vampire. A zombie girl was resurrected by friendzone magic and someone with psychic powers was telling people to kill themselves. Kirsti’s terror put her on the NOPE train as Jo joined the boys in the hunt for America’s first serial killer. The boys got arrested, Dean had a lot of feels about his dad, and Sam had mysterious immunity to a demon virus.
In Rosewood, Spencer wound up in Radley and because of their insane lack of security, Spencer joined the A team while in a mental hospital. We finally reached the end of season 3 with probably-Ali pulling the girls from a burning building that she probably drew them to. We begin season 4 with Ali questionably alive and Wilden definitely dead. Emily hurt her shoulder on a rock and then got more injured when she swam while high. The girls discovered a shop full of Ali-and-other-Rosewood-notables masks and Melissa used an unprecedented amount of words after Spencer confronted her about the Melissa mask. College Weekend happened, but only Emily had the foresight to actually think about stuff like college.
Segue Magic enjoyed a brief return as Lorraine talked about her love of Dean Cain and Sweeney confessed to having romantic feelings for cartoon characters and fictional murderers.
Piper experienced rapid hair growth and Phoebe quit another job because work is stupid. The other sisters didn’t believe her when she told them that Leo is a White Lighter. Finally, an earthquake shakes up something called a Woogy.
We also started recapping Gotham, as per your votes, and marveled at the complete lack of subtlety with new recapper Alex. And then, since you didn’t vote the way we totally wanted you to, we decided to add How to Get Away with Murder and Democracy Diva had to explain legal stuff and also the entire plot because it was very confusing.
Coming Up:
Remember how I said shit’s about to get crazier? Well, in addition to the new shows we debuted last month, we’re starting two more this month. Those were “New New” shows, whereas these are more “New Old” shows, neither of which should come as a huge surprise, since we’ve toyed with both for a while, but we’re excited all the same!
Starting next week, Dollhouse will join Veronica Mars and Pretty Little Liars on the Tuesday/Friday lineup, because this blog has lately been tragically low on its usual Joss Whedon quota. As mentioned last month, the amazing Stephanie will be joining us for this project. She and Lorraine have seen the show, whereas I am the resident Snow.
I’m also the resident Snow on our other new project, something which has been requested since what feels like the dawn of time – by which I actually mean somewhere in the neighborhood of two years. For fucking ever, OK? Lorraine and I will be recapping Doctor Who with Kirsti. Like Joss Whedon, so too has this trio been tragically absent – October’s going to be a month of correcting major cosmic imbalances here in Traumaland. The Doctor Who posts will join Supernatural and Charmed on Wednesdays and Saturdays.
Fingers crossed that we do this and don’t die! That’s always the internal debate: “How will this affect our life expectancy?” Time will tell, friends. Time will tell.
Lor: Dollhouse will premiere on the site on October 6th and Doctor Who on October 7th. The idea is to give you all enough notice so that you can plan how to ignore more of real life and watch TV with us. Basically, if this is going to affect our life expectancy, we want it to affect yours too.
Say that you’ll join us! (I’m rather curious about what shows you all are watching vs. just reading recaps for vs. not participating in at all. The best part of variety on the site is that everyone can pick a thing or two or eight and follow along. So, please do share in the comments which are your shows for no other reason than because I want to know.)
Welcome Questionable New Friends:
Each month we peruse our Google Analytics, looking for the best Questionable Google Search of the Day that brought people to our blog. Usually my favorites are seemingly inane strings of words that appear to have come from a place devoid of rhyme or reason. This month, though, I’m going to answer an intrepid Google searcher’s seemingly earnest, serious question:
when does 50 shades of grey get good
Answer: Never. Fucking never, OK? I hope we’ve answered your question satisfactorily.
♥
The Snark Squad
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
