Previously: A dumb, professional assassin and a big dose of eyeball trauma.
—
Viper
Marines: The general consensus around #gothamsnark this week seemed to be, “ugh, I have to watch Gotham now.” Let me just add, “UGH. I HAVE TO RECAP GOTHAM NOW.” More importantly, though, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING STILL.
Here’s to you:
Sweeney: Someone on Twitter (a) was confused by my watching this show and then (b) admired our dedication. A toast to all of us who see things through to the end even as it defies our own self-interest so blatantly.
Alex: Thirded. I am so touched (and only slightly confused) by everyone’s commitment to watching along with us. You guys are the best!
Mari: We truly are grateful and were only putting off the start of the episode a little. Alas.
Baby Batman is putting together an evidence board when Alfred comes in to invite him for a stroll. Baby Batman doesn’t have time for that because he’s busy becoming a vigilante, or whatever. Alfred asks what happens if he never gets his revenge. Baby Batman isn’t after revenge; he wants to know how Gotham all works. The unifying theme in Gotham appears to be the absence of logic, Baby B, so good luck. Anyway, he uses the Arkham project as an example for Alfred. How did Falcone and Maroni get such big shares in the project and why didn’t Wayne Enterprises do anything about it? Baby Batman goes back to his evidence board and Alfred says that at least this hobby is better than burning his hand on a candle. Baby B thoroughly ignores him.
Sweeney: Having your guardians be guardians second and employees first is a good life if you can set aside how it’s going to psychologically fuck him up and stuff.
Alex: I imagine that when Mummy and Daddy Wayne were all ‘let him make his own choices’, they were probably thinking more along the lines of ‘let him decide where to go to college’ and not ‘let him decide whether to seek professional help when he clearly needs it’.
Mari: So, Traumateer parents, maybe be specific in your wills and with your selected emergency guardians.
Mob-staurant. Penguin is eavesdropping as Maroni tells one of his henchmen that he wants to rob Falcone’s casino to send a message. The henchman is reluctant, but agrees to do it. Maroni leaves and Reluctant Henchman notices that Penguin is staring at him super creepily while drying a cup. These are the kinds of amazing developments that happen here on Gotham.
Establishing shots of Gotham take us to a street musician. He has a sign that specifies that he needs the money for drugs. From across the street, a Poor Man’s Adrien Brody (S: A+ same thought) watches him creepily before paying no mind to traffic as he crosses the street and drops a vial into the Druggie Musician’s guitar case. Poor Man’s Brody walks away, even when Druggie Musician spots the vial and calls after him. Druggie Muscician picks up the vial and sees that it says, “breathe me.” He breaks it open and takes a big whiff. See, it was important to establish him as a druggie, since it appears the plot is going to hinge on the idea that this guy was all, “breathe you? WHY YES I SHALL.”
Sweeney: This plan seemed stupid, but getting drug addicts to take suspicious free drugs is actually one of the more plausible villain plans to date.
Mari: That isn’t really saying much.
After the big inhale, Druggie Musician shakes and his skin cracks.
We cut to him looking real sweaty while entering a convenience store. Drugged Musician grabs a gallon of milk and starts chugging. The clerk tells him to pay for his milk and Drugged Musician says not to vex him, calling the clerk, “mere mortal.” This kind of reminds me that our good friend and adorable human being Harley loves milk. When we were together in Paris, Harley spent a lot of that trip drinking milk. After a night out, I demanded some McDonalds fries that cost me way too many Euros and Harley demanded a jug of milk, which she then proceeded to chug on the rest of the walk home. No matter what you just thought of that random aside, it is pure fact that it was better than anything that just happened on screen. Mostly, Drugged Musician is super strong so the clerk had to back down.
Sweeney: Someone put up a very strong argument against Harley’s love of milk. Her love of milk is super strong and so he also had to back down.
Alex: As far as I can tell, this whole milk thing has absolutely no relevance for the rest of the plot. The musician just really, really likes milk, I guess.
Mari: Just like Harley.
Gordon and Bullock are at a food cart. For a second, as I watch Bullock talk about how good the burgers are, I think, “wow. These few seconds are the most I’ve ever liked Bullock.” But then Gordon asks for no pickles on his burger and Bullock is all, “NO. YOU NEED PICKLES. TRUST ME.” and I hate him again. Mostly, I hate pickles.
Sweeney: (1) I like pickles, so whatever MORE FOR ME. (2) This was cute. Their banter and Gordon’s, “Fine, fine.” It’s the most I’ve liked Bullock in five episodes.
Alex: Still can’t stand him, sorry.
Mari: Selena is across the street watching them and doing all sorts of unnecessary sliding down cars. I’m not a cat or an expert thief or real graceful like, but that just seems like the kind of thing that would get you noticed.
Sweeney: Cats, when not eating you, are honing their invisibility skills, obviously. You gotta slide on stuff to rub off your visibility, I think.
Mari: No.
Selina is apparently on this particular street to pick-a-pocket in an uncrowded area in broad daylight, but Gordon sees her. He yells, “YOU!” which of course alerts her and allows her time to run away. Bullock is upset because it’s lunchtime. Unfortunately for him, shoddy police work takes no breaks, and they hear an alarm sounding.
Alex: The last gif is also amazing. I’ve been starting at it for a full minute trying to work out what he’s even doing there. Also, while I can’t stand Bullock, in my old job I was totally one of those ‘IT’S LUNCHTIME DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO TALK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING REMOTELY WORK-RELATED’ people, so I do sympathise,
Mari: Agreed on all counts. Also, that chocolate milk looks real yummy.
Thanks to the contrivance fairies, these two detectives were getting food just down the street from the convenience store. The clerk comes out of hiding and explains to the detectives about the Drugged Musician, who not only drank all his milk, but also ran off with his ATM. Bullock wants to walk away from this non-homicide case, but Gordon asks follow-up questions. The clerk says Drugged Musician took the ATM machine with his bare hands and we cut to him, running down the street with the ATM on his back.
OMINOUS LIGHTENING CLOUDS! GOTHAM!
Lounge O’ Fish. I don’t know. There’s some opera music and she’s doing this:
Fish’s new sidekick, um, Minnow (go with it) says she’s bored. Fish slaps her for the comment and exposits that Minnow is her secret weapon and she won’t even learn the damn opera song she assigned her. Minnow says sorry to “mama” but Fish replies she isn’t her mama. She has to earn that, which is exactly how being a mom doesn’t work. Fish presses play and Minnow starts singing again. (S: A+ for all of the words in this paragraph.)
GCPD. Gordon and Bullock are showing Captain Essen the surveillance footage of Drugged Musician pulling out the ATM machine. They also show her the vial they found in his guitar case. Nygma was able to pull traces of the drug and meanwhile, the detectives are going to try and ID the Drugged Musician. They just told us this isn’t a homicide case so there is no reason for them to be working on it. BUT HERE WE ARE.
Falcone pulls up to some kind of warehouse where a group of his mob people are gathered. He addressed them all, saying he knows that their families are angry about the Arkham thing. Some guy named Nicolai (A: with an accent almost as terrible as Fish’s) thinks they have to make a move against Maroni, but Falcone doesn’t want to just yet. Nicolai insists, so Fish jumps in and Jada Pinkett fills the entire warehouse with her stupidly exaggerated physical acting and lines like, “he’s playing that cluck Maroni on a long line.” Nico hilariously asks what the hell is wrong with her. I mean, really, he asks why she’s so angry, but close. They get in each other’s face, Nico makes misogynistic remarks, Jada Pinkett-Smith shows us pretty much all her teeth as she speaks, and then Falcone calls them off. He says they need each other.
Gordon and Bullock show Drugged Musician’s picture around the streets of Gotham until someone recognizes him. She presumably directs them to his location where they find him cowering and coming off his high. He begs the detectives to find the man with the mangled ear (which I didn’t even notice he had. I was too busy Googling Adrien Brody, I think) so that he can have some more of those awesome Breath Me Drugs. Gordon and Bullock try to apprehend him, but he’s got enough strength in him to push them off. He picks the ATM machine again for reasons we’ll just explain by remembering the drugs, but his strength gives out. He’s attacked by bad special effects as is either pushed down under the weight of the ATM or starts melting. Maybe both. Point is that he’s smushed. In what sounds like a dub, Gordon brings us home when he says, “God help us if that drug gets out.”
Sweeney: Thanks for clarifying, Jim!
Alex: It does sound like a dub, which makes me think that someone thought ‘wait, wait, this is still too subtle for our audience, we’d better spell it out more’. Everyone watching should be offended by how stupid this show thinks you are.
Mari: Segue Magic to Poor Man’s Adrien Brody handing out vials of the Breathe Me Drug, including to the girl who helpfully identified the Dead Musician.
Baby Batman is asleep on the couch and Alfred is real rude and opens the curtains on him. Apparently Alfred has no idea that naps save lives and if Baby Batman is ever going to become Batman Batman, he’s going to need a lot of naps. (Something like that.) Alfred says that the Wayne Foundation is hosting some charity event and he’s accepted the invitation on BB’s behalf. Alfred’s shocked when BB doesn’t fight this at all and agrees to go. Of course, he really just wants to go to ask the board questions about Arkham. Alfred wants to chuck everything in the fire and when he says everything, I think maybe a little part of him might also want to include Baby B in the chucking.
She tells us what we already know about the drug giving people strength, a sense of power, and then causing them to die a horrible death.
There’s mayhem at GCPD, which must mean it’s a day that ends in day. Nygma takes it all in, looking at least a little bit amused. Cut to Essen’s office, where he’s explaining what Viper does. I catch “burn calcium” which explains the milk consumption and “bones crumble,” meaning that Dead Musician kind of did melt. (A: Oh, so the milk thing WAS relevant. Sorry, show, I guess I do need things spelled out for me after all). Nygma is really excited about this unheard of drug, but they talk all over him and are generally rude. Don’t be rude to your co-workers you guys because they might become super villains or Jim Carrey.
Sweeney: Perfect gif is perfect.
Alex: Yeah, I still kind of love Nygma. I’m dreading the day that they give him more than 30 seconds of screen time and inevitably destroy all of his likeability.
Mari: Let’s not even think about it.
Essen wonders who would give this drug away for free and why. It can’t be about creating demand, since it kills people so quickly. Nygma confirms that the drug is being made in a sophisticated lab and the largest one in the city is WellZyn. It’s a subsidiary of Wayne Enterprises. Gordon says they might as well start there. The meeting is interrupted when someone or something sails through the window. I can’t really tell. Outside, the lady who identified Dead Musician melts and dies.
Mob-staurant. Reluctant Henchman says they’re going to lose a few men during the casino robbery, but Maroni doesn’t seem too sad about it. Penguin comes over and apologizes for eavesdropping, but Maroni invites him to speak. Penguin knows a guy who works in the boiler room of the casino and can get them into the access tunnels that no one knows about. Maroni asks him for his name and he introduces himself as Penguin. Maroni asks if he doesn’t like that name and Penguin gives us a gif for the ages:
Sweeney: THAT FACE REPRESENTS OUR FEELINGS ABOUT SO MANY THINGS. Amazing, Penguin. Amazing.
Mari: Maroni says he can tell that Penguin has got a little game. Penguin admits that this isn’t his first rodeo and he used to work for Fish Mooney until they tried to kill him. He’s laughing along, telling his story, until Maroni grabs his head and slams it a couple of times on the table. I never know if Penguin has all these things planned. Surely he had to know confessing that wouldn’t go so well.
A lawyer from WellZyn (S: Blair Waldorf’s mother!) pays the detectives a visit. She gives the official, “we had nothing to do with this and will sue you if you say otherwise,” statement. Gordon says they are looking for an employee of theirs with a mangled ear. That pays off, because Poor Man’s Adrien Brody did indeed previously work for WellZyn. He became disgruntled and during a disagreement with his supervisor, tried to cut off his own ear. And then they fired him. (A: That is one terrible day he had there). Lawyer Lady says they never heard from him again. Gordon tries to imply that she knew all along that it was Poor Man’s Brody behind Viper, which is why she came so quickly to the station. She says that isn’t true and, in fact, Poor Man’s Brody is so smart he could build his own lab. (S: I think you’re grossly exaggerating how “smart” works, Mama Waldorf.) She invites the detectives to search WellZyn if they’d like and if they get a “warrant” or whatever.
Gordon says they need to find Poor Man’s Brody [PMB] and in a weird bit of dialogue, Bullock is all, “drive around and look for him? No. I’ll put out an APB.” Why are these two always so confused by police work?
Alex: I can’t help but notice that Gordon and Bullock have, once again, had all the information they needed to solve the case just handed to them on a plate. I’ve seen this described as a glorified detective show, but they don’t even really do any detecting, so I’m really not sure what this is.
Mari: Well, I’m not going to just call it “glorified.”
Reluctant Henchman finds Gordon at the station and says Gordon needs to come with him. They’ve got a mutual friend in Penguin and if Gordon doesn’t cooperate, they are going to kill Penguin and send his head to Falcone. That would be bad news for Gordon, in addition to being murder and stuff. Gordon agrees to go and as he walks out of the station, I notice how nice these suits look on Ryan Atwood. Very nice. (S: Very nice indeed.)
Mob-staurant. They blindfolded Gordon to bring him here, but I’m not clear on why, since this restaurant would probably be real easy to identify. Maroni is across from Gordon, flanked by henchmen. A beat up Penguin kneels by his side. Penguin tells Gordon to tell the truth which gets him shushed by Maroni. He speaks out of turn a second time, a little later on, and that gets him sent out of the room, under threat of meat slicer to the face. Anyway, Maroni wants Gordon to tell him Penguin’s story to see if they match up. Gordon tells him about the Wayne murders, Mario Pepper being set up and Falcone’s order that Gordon kill Penguin. No one knows that Penguin is alive and this, plus the fact that Penguin was telling the truth, makes Maorni very happy. He brings Penguin back out and lets Gordon go, but not before telling him that he might call again should the need arrive.
Lounge O’ Fish. Fish is teaching Minnow how to act.
GCPD. Gordon gets back and in an amazing turn of events, Bullock’s there, waiting to get to work. Gordon says he was out doing something personal. WellZyn sent over Poor Man Brody’s stuff and they have to go through it. Bullock, unable to drop it, asks if it’s Barbara who is in trouble and if Gordon needs any help. Aw. Again, this was a rare 10 seconds during which I didn’t hate Bullock. (S: Same! Twice in one episode for me! Good job, Bullock!) (A: Nope.)
Gordon finds a picture of PMB with an older gentleman. Gordon detects the shit out of the picture and decides the older guy is a philosophy professor at Gotham U.
We cut there and Professor Old says that he’s kept with PMB through the years. Philosphy was always a passion of PBM’s, especially when his work at WellZyn led him through dark moral corners. Wellzyn told the detectives that PMB worked on shampoos but Professor Old says that’s not the case at all. PMB worked on pharmaceutical weapons to be used on troops, to make them real strong. Of course, Viper had that pesky “death” side-effect but them worked out the kinks in the second batch: venom.
A-HA. I feel like that should’ve been more obvious than it was to me. Is this show making me dumber by assuming I’m stupid? If nothing is straight out announced, am I just going to assume it is not a thing? I’m a little worried.
Alex: I don’t even know what you’re talking about, so maybe I should be even more worried.
Mari: Probably don’t be. I only know about Venom because of that instant classic, Batman & Robin.
Anyway, Professor Old continues that PMB tried to get WellZyn to shut down the program and eventually went over their heads, directly to the Waynes. When the Waynes died, WellZyn immediately revived the program and PMB decided to take more extreme measures. The detectives realize that Professor Old was in on the plan as well.
Professor Old grabs a vial of Viper and breaths it in. All drugged up, Professor Old throws Bullock through the door and then starts choking him with a leg of his walker. Gordon shoots Professor Old in the leg but that doesn’t stop him. He fires a second shot through the chest. It’s a mortal wound, but thankfully for their policing, Professor Old has enough life in him to answer a few more questions.
Mari: Gordon gamely defines altruism as charity and that helps him realize where PMB is headed.
Charity Thing. Baby Batman and Alfred arrive. PMB is already there and has a large canister of Viper.
At the Charity Thing, PMB sets up his canister. Inside, Wayne sits down with one of the managers that worked with his father. Baby Batman asks after the board members and is told that they don’t actually attend charity things because they are super busy. Baby Batman explains that he wanted to speak to them because of the irregularities he found in the Arkham project.
Outside, canister preparation.
Inside, Baby Batman says he wants to speak to the board directly. Middle Management Lady says she’ll try to make it happen. Their conversation is interrupted by a video feed of PMB, announcing to those gathered that he made Viper for Wellzyn, which is of course connected to Wayne Enterprises. Middle Management is quick to tell Baby B that PMB is a crazy liar.
Bullock and Gordon arrive. Bullock runs to the ballroom to yell at everyone to get out, just as the Viper is being leaked into the room. Alfred thinks quickly and wraps his jacket around Baby Batman’s face. It made me laugh a lot.
On the roof, Gordon finds PMB and tells him to turn off the leak. PMB refuses, so Gordon shoots the canister and PMB gets a face full of Viper. Gordon just covers his nosey, which makes him totally safe. Bullock arrives for back-up as PMB says he’s leaving now. He tells them to look in Warehouse 39. PMB jumps off the roof and Bullock quips that you really can have too much of a good thing. Couldn’t just leave it without a bad line, could you show?
We wrap up with Gordon going to check out warehouse 39 which is pretty empty now, though clearly once served as a lab. Across the street, Middle Management Lady watches them, and tells someone on the other side of the phone that they will review something if the detectives get close.
Baby Batman is going through more paperwork and finds a WellZyn memo with Middle Management Lady’s picture on it. Alfred walks in with a few files of his own and joins Baby Batman in the investigating. Baby Batman is taken a little aback and can’t help but smile now that he’s got a partner. It really is a sweet moment, even if the soaring music is a tad too much.
Alex: I loved this. I hadn’t been sure about Alfred before this week, but he had some great little moments with Bruce here, and him finally deciding to help with the investigating was a nice way for them to finish the episode.
Mari: That night, Maroni, Reluctant Henchman and Penguin are waiting for their other mob-bros to finish the robbery. Penguin is nervous, but it turns out his man on the inside comes through and the robbery is successful.
Fish has got Nico tied up and in bed. Their sexy-exposition basically reveals that they are working together to boot out Falcone and the earlier yelling at each other was all an act.
Falcone is feeding pigeons when Minnow comes over, humming the aria she learned earlier and conveniently stops in hum-hearing distance from Falcone. Her hair is lighter now and she’s wearing a Pretty (Almost) White Virginal Dress. Falcone approaches her and comments on the aria she was humming, since it is his favorite. His mother used to sing it to him all the time and she does look like… He cuts himself off, probably because, “you look like my mommy!” works for no one but Christian Grey. This makes sense too because when Fish was teaching Minnow how to act (LOL) she was telling her to be motherly. Ew.
Anyway, they sit on the steps and listen to the music together.
I feel a little bad about complaining right up at the top because this wasn’t as bad as the last couple of weeks. The villain of the week wasn’t as stupid, there was a tie-in to Batman stuff, Fish made some moves, Penguin made some moves and the pace was better than in past weeks. I’m not ready to think nicely about this show overall, but you know. That was a less horrible thing. (I’m trying. Truly.)
Sweeney: Agreed! It was less horrible! I’ll celebrate less horrible.
Alex: Cheers!
Mari: We can all agree that #gothamsnark continues to be the best, though. Here are this week’s highlights:
I was just sipping some wine and thinking how pleasant my evening is going. Until I realized Gotham is on in 15 minutes. #gothamsnark
— Stephanie (@stephynee) October 20, 2014
I haven’t been this excited for something since my last trip to the dentist. #GothamSnark
— Regina Doran (@ReginaDoran7) October 21, 2014
Amazing how all the important scenes in the recap don’t involve the main bloody character! #GothamSnark
— Scar-man GORE-ison (@GeekyGeekyWays) October 21, 2014
I missed two episodes of this show but the previouslies tell me that I didn’t really. #gothamsnark
— Samantha Ania (@Samantha30191) October 21, 2014
“Don’t vex me, mortal” is how I feel in the mornings before coffee. #GothamSnark
— Jessica Smith (@antiscian) October 23, 2014
Selina really isn’t good at the not being noticed thing… sliding off of that white car in a black outfit in broad daylight #GothamSnark
— Scar-man GORE-ison (@GeekyGeekyWays) October 21, 2014
Have these writers never met an Italian person in their entire fucking lives? WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THESE ACCENTS? #gotham #gothamsnark
— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) October 21, 2014
Oh so Fish turned British for those 30 seconds there? Cool. #gothamsnark
— Alex (@AlexTheAJ) October 22, 2014
It doesn’t count if you sing it the octave down, honey. IT’S OPERA. #gotham #gothamsnark
— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) October 21, 2014
Russian Gangster: In your country, you can always find a party. In my country, The Party always finds YOU! #GothamSnark
— Scar-man GORE-ison (@GeekyGeekyWays) October 21, 2014
Sorry, #gotham, imma let you finish, but Breaking Bad had the best death via ATM of all time. #gothamsnark
— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) October 21, 2014
Ed Nygma is kinda cute. Look, I’m trying to find SOMETHING positive to say about this mess. #gothamsnark
— Stephanie (@stephynee) October 21, 2014
Seriously, Nygma is THE BEST. Show some damn respect, Bullock. #gothamsnark
— Laura Lillies (@lillypad1985) October 21, 2014
So Gotham’s like Wonderland where folks ingest whatever they find/are given so long as there’s instructions? Eat Drink Breathe #GothamSnark
— Jessica Smith (@antiscian) October 23, 2014
Jim Gordon has got “trying to figure out how to talk to Julie Cooper” face right now. #gothamsnark
— Samantha Ania (@Samantha30191) October 21, 2014
The future Mr. Democracy Diva: “Whenever I want to hide something, I always stick a giant label on, clearly identifying it! #gothamsnark
— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) October 21, 2014
Thank goodness they made viper green so it’s easily detectable. Who needs unseeable threats, am I right?! #Gotham #gothamsnark
— Wilhelmina Upton (@WillieSun) October 21, 2014
Alfred is disturbingly well-prepared to throw a bag over Bruce’s head and make him disappear in a hurry. #GothamSnark
— Scar-man GORE-ison (@GeekyGeekyWays) October 21, 2014
Aw crap, they’re using an awesome Artic Monkeys song in a Fish Mooney scene and now I’m always gonna associate it with that. #gothamsnark
— Catherine McGinnes (@CatherineJane91) October 21, 2014
I don’t think Jada Smith knows she’s in a show. I think they just film her tripping balls and insert the footage into the show. #GothamSnark
— Scar-man GORE-ison (@GeekyGeekyWays) October 21, 2014
It’s touching that Fish has found herself a man with an accent as questionable as her own. #gothamsnark
— Alex (@AlexTheAJ) October 22, 2014
So apparently the Waynes were either evil or incompetent. Good to know. #gothamsnark
— Laura Lillies (@lillypad1985) October 21, 2014
Thank you to everyone for tweeting along! Be sure to join us next week for #gothamsnark (even if you’re watching a day or so behind – we’ll keep checking for tweets until the post goes live!)
Next time on Gotham: A killer attacks Gotham’s first born children in S01 E06 – Spirit of the Goat
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a thirty-year-old postgrad living in Scotland. When I'm not writing (which, between my degree and Snark Squad, is almost never) I watch entirely too much TV, and live in constant fear of the day that I run out of things to watch.
