Pretty Little Liars S04 E19 – IDK.

Previously: Ezra lied about chickpeas and was generally a terrible human being.
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Shadow Play

Sara: Spencer, Emily, and Hanna are breaking into EzrA’s classroom in the middle of the day (Saturday? School day? Who knows.) to try to find something that will convince Aria that Ezra is a lying liar who lies. It’s cool that they’re already prepared for Aria being an asshole who’s going to be all, “NU UH” about it.

Marines: “HE DOESN’T LIE. Only to people who would care he’s dating his student, duh.”

Sara: Spencer finds an envelope with Ali’s journal in it, so they take off with it. Before they can leave, they hear footsteps approaching and watch as Mona lets herself in to Ezra’s classroom. I’ve never understood the whole sticking-your-head-around-the-corner thing on television. I’m pretty sure I would notice a bobbing head at the end of the hallway. They continue watching as Mona leaves with a stack of files. The Liars ask each other lots of useless questions, as usual.

The girls are at Spencer’s house looking through the diary, and Spence is looking coma makeup rough. She wonders what they even know about Shana anyways, and all Hanna can come up with is that she used to date Paige. They want Emily to question Paige, but Em isn’t feeling it.  She changes the subject to the Mona-Fitz connection, but the girls are like BRAIN HURTZ. TOO MUCH THINKING. We have to focus on one Toby Edit at a time, Emily. They all go to leave, but Emily stops them to wonder if it wasn’t a little easy finding the diary in Ezra’s desk. Spencer and Hanna laugh it off, like this isn’t something that has literally happened before.

Mari: Emily being the voice of reason is weirding me out. Is she usually? I can’t remember.

Jessica: Normally it’s Spencer but she lost the game of coma makeup musical chairs this time around.

Sara: Pedzra and Aria are driving around in his car but Aria needs to get home because she has a lot of homework to do. LOL. Aria metaphors about how she’s writing a story about a villain because villains are fascinating and sometimes they win in the end. “Sometimes,” Ezra creeps.

Hastings Home for Wayward Spencers. Spencer is watching a black and white movie and popping pills with vodka like a champ. (M: Spencer was made for our “underaged drinking is for overachievers” tag.) In the movie, a man fires a gun which makes Spencer put her head in her hands because of an apparent headache. When she looks up again, everything is black and white and 40s film noir themed. Maybe those ADHD meds are laced with acid.

Toby stands in the doorway in a trench coat and hat, looking FOYNE. Seriously, film noir looks good on that weird face of his. (M: The shades of black and white wash out the weirdness.)

SHHHH.

Toby tells Spencer that she needs to tell him what she knows about Alison, but she isn’t fessing up and says that he should just trust her. He responds that he can see right through her (huh?), and Spence swears there’s nothing wrong with her. Toby gives a big ol’ side eye to the vodka and pills, which are laid out all over the counter in a comically obvious way. She swears they just help her focus, but Toby isn’t buying it.

One Coffee Shop. Spencer is getting her 15 cent coffee, and Ezra smarms right up to the counter to pay for it. (J: Ezra is the best at using “smarm” as a verb.) Spencer is like uh, no, but Ezra insists and tells the waitress to keep the change. God, he’s even more obnoxious in this filter. He apologizes for the way their last conversation ended and says she should let him take her to lunch or dinner sometime to make up for it. Maybe he’s playing Pretty Little Liar Bingo and needs to date three to win. (M: A+) She walks out.

Spencer, Emily, and Hanna are in Rosewood’s One Bathroom, continuing their conversation about what a freak Ezra is. Hanna’s 1940s accent is LOL-worthy. Some more conversation happened, but hell if I know what it was because all these girls keep choosing random words to say with accents and I can’t pay attention. Aria walks in (looking fabulous) and the other Liars abruptly stop talking. They quiz her about where she was all weekend (she says she was visiting her dad, but they know she was actually with Pedzra).

Later that night at the Hastings home, Spencer is in a classy nightgown and placing a call. She gets the Fitzgerald Art Foundation. I have no idea why this is relevant or where she got the number from. You might think I haven’t been following along since that one time when I had a baby, but I have and I still don’t remember. (J: Don’t worry. None of us do.)

Spence pops some more pills as Toby shows up in the shadows. Everyone is creepy today.

Toby wants Spencer to stop pill poppin’ so she can figure out wtf is going on. He says he thought she was the one smart one, and she replies, “I am the smart one.” True but also not saying much when your competition is the other three Liars. (J: Ha!) Toby is my favorite person so far in this episode. He always plays his character so cheesy, and now he’s upping the cheese factor even more and it’s so perfect for this episode. Also, he and Spencer look freaking amazing in black and white.

Mari: When I grow up, I want to look like Spencer Hastings in black and white.

Sara: Anytangent, Toby points to a giant portrait of Alison and asks how that got there, and Spencer is like …the fuck? Spencer wonders aloud if it’s possible she’s still alive somewhere and Toby is all LOL because he doesn’t know just how ridiculous this show can get.

Pedzra Apartment of Underage Girls. Ezra and Mona stand on the balcony looking out at… nothing? IDK. They walk inside. That was dumb.

One Coffee Shop. Paige and Emily are having coffee, and Paige is upset that Em is asking her about Shana after all this time. They hold hands, but abruptly break away when the bartender gives them a look. Because it’s the 1940s and that’s not okay, see? Paige tells Emily she’ll leave first because she can’t stand to see Em walk away from her. But if they’re having coffee together in public, surely they could exit the place at the same time?

Mari: Probably not when you are looking at each other with puppy dog eyes and dragging around sexual tension.

Sara: Mona is walking home alone, and Hanna is following her, clacking her heels as loudly as she can. (J: Fashion over function, so Hanna) She rounds a corner and Mona is waiting for her. Over at Spencer’s house, she gets a phone call and Mona tells her to get to apartment 3B for Hanna, while she’s still breathing.

When Spencer arrives, Ezra is also there. He tells Spence that maybe she should find a person with less clacky shoes the next time she wants to put a tail on someone. Hanna responds that she’s not as used to working the streets as Mona is. I gave a genuine LOL on that one. Mona gives her the old SAY IT TO MY FACE but Ezra tells her to get back in the kitchen and make them some drinks. Spence and Hanna go to leave, but before they do, Ezra says that he knows they haven’t told Aria their suspicions because they aren’t sure. Spencer looks a little shaken but just leaves. This whole episode has felt super pointless so far. Looks like somebody just wanted to dress the girls up in 40s clothes.

Mari: I guess they figure no one is watching this show for the “plot” anyway.

Jessica: I feel like they’re trying to get more experimental in season 4 but, it’s just not working.

Sara: At least we get to look at pretty people in black and white!

In the car on the way home, Hanna is proud of herself for getting Spencer out of that apartment, but that doesn’t make any sense because she’s the one who got her in the apartment in the first place. IDK. Spence fills Hanna in on the phone call she made earlier. Apparently it was the number that Ali was calling. These exposition scenes are so helpful on PLL, because I often feel like I’ve been mind wiped in between episodes.

One Coffee Shop… Bar? Aria is showing Paige how to use her camera, so they are really sticking with this Aria Is A Photographer storyline. It’s so cute when the writers on this show try.

Mari: And by “try” I guess you mean, “mention that Aria is a photographer once every 6-7 episodes, when it’s convenient for the plot.”

Sara: And also to remind us that she’s so edgy and hip and wise beyond her years. She is on a metaphor roll this episode, as she tells Paige that she used to be a tomboy like Emily until she fell in love and grew out of it. On the other side of the bar, Ezra and Toby are having drinks and Ezra shares that Alison is alive and Spencer knows how to find her.

Hastings Home for Wayward Spencers. Spencer arrives home to find Alison in her house, looking at the painting of herself. She laments the fact that she’ll grow older while the girl in the portrait stays young and beautiful forever. That’s why it’s better to just disappear – in a callback to season 1, she tells Spencer, “That’s immortality, my darling.” Spencer starts throwing questions at Ali, wanting to know who she’s afraid of, but Alison just smiles in return and says it wouldn’t be any fun if she told her. No, no, writers. Don’t worry about coming up with anything even slightly resembling a legitimate reason to keep information quiet. It’s so much more fun this way!

Jessica: New theory- Alison has Dorian Gray’d herself!

Spencer starts to get mad (because seriously, fuck this), and Alison says maybe she should be scared of Spencer instead. Spence says that she’s just trying to figure it all out, and Ali tells her that she has all the pieces and just needs to put them together. She wonders if Spencer has enough pills, though, which prompts Spencer to run to her bottle of meds and accidentally knock the bottle over into the sink. Whoops.

Spencer sticks her hand into the sink, and for a second it looks like the garbage disposal is going to be turned on (giving us all EW flashbacks to Supernatural), but it’s just Toby. By the time Spence turns back around, Ali is gone. I was going to call bullshit on the garbage disposal being around in the early 1940s, but apparently it was invented in the 1927. #TheMoreYouKnow

Down at the police station, Toby is detecting the shit out of things with Spencer. She says she was just mistaken and confused, but Toby is calling bullshit. He knows she’s the smart one, not the confused one. (That’s Hanna.) (M: Mean.) He gets up in her face about how she’s so smart that she could possibly even get away with murder, or help Ali fake her own death. In fact, he even thinks it’s possible that Ali got Spencer’s help without Spence even realizing it. Spencer gets thinky face.

Pedzrapartment. Aria and Ezra are having drinks. The drinking age was only 18 in the 1940s and ARIA STILL IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO PARTAKE. (J: Eeeww.) They discuss how Aria wants to tell the other Liars about their relationship, but Ezra isn’t down for it. (This is so dumb. They were openly dating like two weeks ago and now it’s a big secret?) He tells her that she doesn’t know all of their secrets, but he knows one of hers. He whispers in her ear, “Alison’s alive,” and Aria Big Eyes.

Hanna is working her job at the switchboard (lol) and trying to track down something about the phone calls Ali was making to the Fitzgerald Art Foundation? Even though they already figured all this out? IDK.

  Fields. Emily and Paige worry that someone will find out about them, but they also don’t care because they love each other. They kiss and then carry their make-out session to the bed.

Switchboard. Hanna is finding out what message Alison left when she called the Fitzgerald Art Foundation one night. How do they know she left a message? Do they know what specific day this happened? Why is this important at all? (M: Because ADHD meds laced with acid.)

Interrotoby. Toby is still badgering Spencer about what she knows, but she swears she doesn’t know anything. He tells her to think about the diary, about all the clues, and put everything together. Spencer says, “I’m so tired of thinking. I just want to sleep!” OMG, GIRL, RIGHT? She starts to cry, and Toby kisses her.

    Aria is sitting alone at One Coffee Shop & Bar. Spencer approaches, and Aria tells her that she wants to tell her something, but she doesn’t want the Patented Disappointed Spencer Face. Spence doesn’t really promise, but Aria tells her anyway: She’s seeing Ezra again. She thought she liked Jake, but she loves Ezra. Spencer tries to tell her about Ezra being A, but they’re interrupted by Hanna who says that she found Ali. Guess that one-episode job paid off!

Mari: I like that they go for the contrivance even IN DREAMS. “How will Hanna find this information in Spencer’s drug dream? I KNOW. A ONE-OFF JOB!’

Jessica: Considering she got her last big tip from a book recommendation, I’m not surprised.

Sara: +1. All four Liars make their way to a club, and Hanna says Alison has to be there. She was making those phone calls to the Fitzgerald Art Foundation from a pay phone in the club. Oh. Okay. The girls head in the back way and end up in a dressing room. Out of the shadows comes Alison DiLaurentis herself, wearing a shiny showgirl outfit. She puts on a feather robe and tells the girls they shouldn’t have kept looking for her because now she’s in more danger because of them. The girls are all BITCH PLEASE about that because the past four seasons are all because of stupid Ali.

Spencer thinks Alison is setting them all up because of how the writers, I mean Alison never give them any details about anything and lets them take all the heat for her crap. Alison asks Aria if Spence has told her everything (meaning the Ezra is a psycho thing), but before they can discuss it further, they hear gunfire and a window breaks. The girls scream and take off through a warehouse or something? They run around in circles until they’re backed into a corner. Alison suggests they split up, but I’m not sure how that’s possible since they’re stuck in a corner and all. Spencer gripes that of course Ali wants them to split up, so she can run off like usual. Alison goes to smack her IN THE FACE for that, but Hanna grabs her arm and stops her. Damn. Ali is an asshole, but face slaps are the best. Also, I paused it right here and oh my god, these girls look stunning.

    Mari: Looking at those gifs makes my life seem fundamentally unfair. My life or my face, IDK.

Sara: Considering I have to work all day and also I would never look as good as these girls in black and white, I’m going to say both.

The girls hear Ezra calling for Aria, but the other girls tell her to stfu and not answer him. She wants to know why, but they just tell her they can’t trust him. Ezra calls out that the others are lying to her, and he loves her like no one has ever loved her before. You know, like a pedobear. She asks the girls why she isn’t supposed to talk to him, but instead of using their words, they all just stare at her. This is dumb. Aria walks off towards the shadowy figure, but it turns out that it’s Toby! He says that they don’t have much time, because he knocked Ezra out with one off-screen punch. Must have been a quiet scuffle.

Jessica: I’m just disappointed the Toby-Ezra punch can’t be giffed. I would watch that ALL DAY.

Sara: The one time we actually care about something that happened on this show, and we don’t get to see it. Figures.

The girls all take off in a car, and Aria asks why Toby would have hit her teacher boyfriend. Spencer AGAIN just stares at her. IDK. Toby, Emily, and Hanna keep asking Spencer if she’s figured it out yet, because she has everything she needs, but she keeps responding that she’s tired. Girl, take a nap. Toby tells her she needs to look at the pages, not at the book. Bright headlights shine in her face and we cut out of the film noir filter into boring old Rosewood again, right where we were at the beginning of the episode. Damn, Spencer, those are some good pills.

Mari: Though you might want to get your money back because I don’t think they are for ADHD.

Sara: Spencer looks at the diary again and smiles. Later, Hanna and Emily are at her house as she tells them that the diary has little changes now. She thinks that the changes were made to small clues to keep the girls from figuring anything out. Honestly, they could give these girls the script to the Pretty Little Liars series finale, and they would still have no fucking clue who A is. (J: Awesome. A+) They go to Aria’s house to warn her, but as they peep through the windows, they see her kissing Ezra. Gross.

A-nonymous: Back in black and white, the camera pans over Alison’s showgirl vanity mirror. A telegram is left on the mirror that says, “Break a leg. – A” IDK.

 

 

Next time on Pretty Little Liars: Spencer really wants to tell Aria that Ezra is the worst in S04 E20 – Free Fall.