Previously: Jen’s mum turned up for Thanksgiving and it was hella awkward for everyone. Also, Dawson was a dick. You know, just for a change.
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Four to Tango
Kirsti: We open, as always, in the Shrine o’ Spielberg where Pacey and Jen are making out. DUDE, NO. Who breaks into their best friend’s house (although given the ladder, it’s not REALLY breaking in, I guess??) to make out in their bed? Gross.
Democracy Diva: Also, pick a sexier room than the Shrine O’Spielberg to make out in. Avoid having E.T. watch you do the nasty at all costs.
K: Truth.
Anyway, the making out stops because they agree that they still have zero sexual interest in the other person. They discuss their past history and how everything should be falling into place because they came prepared (Pacey flashes condoms) and picked the perfect location (ugh). They make out some more, but nope. Nothing.
Jen suggests they wait a week and try again. Pacey shrugs and they both reach for their shoes. Just then, the door downstairs slams. Jen scurries out the window and Pacey flails around behind her trying to follow. Dawson walks in as Pacey leaps across the room, attempting to look nonchalant and like he was playing video games. Dawson’s all “The fuck are you doing here?” and Pacey makes terrible excuses and tries to leave, which works until Dawson points out that he’s missing a shoe. Pacey gives a “well, shucks, you caught me” face.
Diva: Nobody gives better sheepish-grin-face than our Pacey.
K: So very true. (And shout out to our fabulous commenter, Blinvy, for that gif)
HEY YEAH YEAH YEAH.
After the credits, Andie’s sitting outside school. Jack walks up with a stack of papers, which turn out to be printouts of emails he got in response to Dawson’s news report about him. Some of them are incredibly homophobic, and Andie declares one to be a “closet case“. She reads him another one from a guy named Ben, offering encouragement because he got all kinds of horrible homophobic emails about taking another guy to prom the previous year. She suggests that Jack send Ben an email and talk. Jack’s all “EW INTERNET STRANGERS”, and I laugh forever because about 80% of my friendships these days are with internet strangers. (D: YAAAAS INTERNET FRIENDS <3) Andie leaves Jack looking thoughtful.
Elsewhere, Pacey’s been called to the guidance office. Sadly, it’s not to see our much loved Mr Mylo, but some dude in a sweater vest who looks about twelve. Twelve Year Old Counsellor says that Pacey’s in his top ten kids in need of help. He’s failing maths and barely scraping through on his other classes. TYOC asks how things are at home and how his mentally ill girlfriend is, and Pacey’s all “Um, ouch. Leaving now”. TYOC replies “Whatever’s eating at you these days, don’t let it win, okay?” Pacey says that maybe it already has. Womp.
In the library, Andie’s doing a Buffy Summers and conducting incredibly wide internet searches. Jack informs her of Boolean logic the need to narrow one’s search to weed out unwanted stuff, and she immediately relates that to Jack finding a boyfriend by emailing Ben. He sasses that she should have her own website – www.annoyingsister.com. Awww. Sibling feels. Andie pushes some more about emailing Ben, but Jack stops answering when an IM message from the aforementioned Ben pops up on his screen. Jack stares at the screen in shock. Andie flails a little and tells him he has to reply. Jack awkwardly types “Hi“, and Andie grins.
Out in the hall, Pacey tracks Joey down between classes. They do their usual bickering routine of adorableness, and she agrees to let him borrow her maths notes. He asks what a cosine is, and I call bullshit because they’re supposed to be juniors and I’m pretty sure we started doing trigonometry in year 8. Whatever. (D: I think I knew what a cosine was in middle school, but I don’t think we really did much trig til sophomore or junior year. #USA) Joey’s all “DUDE, WTF?” and he grovels a little. She insists that she can’t help him but he says he’ll do anything because he’s failing. “Anything?” she says, with a fairly spectacular amount of side eye.
Cut to a dance studio full of couples ballroom dancing. Pacey and Joey are among them, and they’re hella awkward because EW TOUCHING. Pacey asks what the hell they’re doing there, and Joey confesses that there’s a $1500 scholarship for the high school student best exemplifying ballroom dance. Everyone else there is a million years old, so she’s a shoe-in. All she has to do is complete a two week course. Pacey grumbles that she could have asked Dawson or Jack, but she’s all “LOL NOPE. Not if you want to pass maths.” The instructor comes past and demands that they actually touch and also that Pacey leads. They stand on each other’s feet some more, then Joey stands on top of Pacey’s feet, and he dances around the room like my dad used to with me when I was really little. It’s adorable.
Shrine o’ Spielberg. Dawson finds Pacey’s condoms on the floor, and makes a “BITCH, I WILL CUT YOU” face when he realises where it must have come from. I laugh because there was never any split second where it could have been Dawson’s condom. Sucks to be you, Dawson Leery. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Joey and Pacey are on their way into school. She gives him his maths assignments for the day, and says they’ll meet after school to study before going back to ballroom dancing. Pacey demands that no one find out about their arrangement because ballroom dancing is way too embarrassing. She agrees that no one must ever know of it.
Obviously, Dawson walks up to hear the end of the conversation, so Pacey makes the awkward excuse that his bedroom needs painting and he was just enlisting Joey’s help. He asks Dawson to join them, and Dawson agrees, but sceptically because it’s pretty obvious that’s not what they were talking about. Joey leaves, and Dawson tries to talk to Pacey about the condom, but Pacey awkwards that he’s late and that he’ll catch Dawson after school. He dashes off after Joey, and Dawson looks suspicious.
Library. Jack’s IMing Ben some more. Andie asks about the guy Ben took to prom, and apparently they were never dating, it was just to make a statement. Jack gushes about Ben a little, and Andie wants to see a photo. Jack says he doesn’t have one, and he’s not going to ask. Andie says it’s only fair seeing as there was footage of Jack in the news story. An eavesdropping librarian mentions that she dated a guy from the internet once and he’d hit every branch on his fall from the ugly tree. (D: Thanks for moving the plot along, eavesdropping librarian!) Jack decides that maybe he’ll ask for a photo after all. Andie says that he should ask for one casual and one formal picture, and no baggy clothes allowed. Girl, calm down.
Video store. Jen turns up looking for Pacey and her horrified face when Dawson appears instead is absolute gold.
She tells Dawson that she’s working on a project with Pacey, and that he said he was working that day. Dawson bitchily asks if there are any hot new teachers at school, because the last time Pacey acted this weird was when he was in a pedo-lationship with Tamara. Ugh, STFU Dawson. You’re the worst friend ever.
Diva: First of all, Jen’s lip gloss looked amazing in that scene. Second, Jen describes her school project with Pacey as “a human growth and development thing.” Um, YEAH IT IS.
K: The “growth” part made me snigger because I’m secretly 12. Dawson tells Jen about busting Pacey the previous day and then about the condom he found. Jen awkwards, and asks if he’s talked to Pacey about it. He admits that he hasn’t because Pacey’s been avoiding him, and it’s pretty clear he thinks there’s something going on with Joey. Jen looks thoughtful.
Back at school, Pacey asks if they can take a study break. Joey’s all “uh, no” because they just took a break. Pacey says that lately, the minute he cracks open a book, he wants to be doing anything else on earth. I feel the same, but with job applications… Pacey suspects it has something to do with the fact that he’s used to getting sexual rewards after studying with first Tamara and then Andie. Ew. (D: So much fucking ew.) Joey’s all “HAHAHAHA, NO” and offers him Chex Mix instead.
Computer lab. Andie and Jack wait impatiently for Ben’s picture to download. HAHAHAHAHA, DIAL UP. How no one misses you. (D: I had so much schadenfreude watching this picture load painfully slowly. It was awesome.) When it does, they agree that he’s hot and Jack gets all flustered. Ben sends an IM asking what Jack thinks, and Andie tells Jack to say that they should meet for coffee. She’ll even go with him. Jack freaks out that it’s too fast, and his hands are shaking with nerves. Andie types a reply for him, suggesting that he and Ben meet for coffee that night. “I thought you’d never ask,” Ben replies. Andie flails, but Jack looks worried.
Video store. Jen’s helping Dawson put together a Hitchcock themed window display while Dawson says that under normal circumstances, he’d be doing the work alone while Pacey sleeps in the back room. Jen spots Pacey across the street, and then stares in shock as he meets up with Joey. Dawson’s shocked too, and for reasons made of stupid, they decide to close the video store and follow Pacey and Joey.
Dance studio. Jen and Dawson stare in surprise as Pacey and Joey spin around the dance floor. Jen says they should leave, but the instructor appears and drags them onto the dance floor. She announces to the class that there’s a new couple joining them, and the gang share “buuuuuuuuuuuuusted” expressions. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, the gang snip at each other. The instructor comes up and for some reason, she can instantly tell from the way Dawson and Jen dance that they used to date but they’ve gotten past all the tension and now there’s trust between them. Unlike Pacey and Joey, she says, who dance like awkward robots and “are clearly in the early stages of some screwball mating ritual“. Pacey and Joey are all “Skkkkkrt, WHAT”, and she insists they have enough sexual tension to “power a KISS reunion tour“. Um. What.
Diva: She insists “you can see that in the dancing.” No, you really can’t, and also, MYOB, lady.
K: Her logic is not like our earth logic.
Anyway, she says she’s totally right about the tension because she’s never seen dancing that bad. Okay, lady, whatever. Dawson asks for further information, and she says that dancing doesn’t lie but also it’s part of a theory she’s developed over the past few years?? IDK, whatever. Dawson turns to glare at Pacey and Joey.
Chez Grams. Andie gushes how Jack could have a boyfriend soon, Jack freaks out that the online thing could be a disaster, and Andie tells him that the worst case scenario is that they hate each other. But she doesn’t think that’s going to happen, and she tells him not to be nervous. But it seems that Jack’s nervous for a whole different reason. Sure, he’s come out and told the whole world that he’s gay. But going on a date means he’s actually going to BE gay, not just say that he’s gay. The tinkly piano tinkles. Andie points out that he’d be gay anyway, and if he doesn’t go, “you’ll be gay and without a boyfriend.”
Dance studio. The instructor says they’re going to change partners, and starts pairing people together. She pairs Dawson and Pacey, and they have an immediate “NO HOMO” reaction. (D: Whatever, bros who rehearse romantic movie scenes together.) (K: Hahaha, true. I’d forgotten about that!) She tells them to play nice, and yells that when the music stops, they all have to reach for the nearest partner, then keep dancing. Jen and Joey are paired together, and we cut back and forth between them and the boys. Jen looks hurt when Joey blows off her questions about dancing with Pacey. Dawson asks why Pacey was in the Shrine o’ Spielberg, and Pacey claims it’s because of Dawson’s electronics. Dawson eyerolls and asks about the condom. Pacey’s saved from answering by the instructor telling them to switch partners.
Pacey dashes across the room and grabs Jen, dancing away with her. He says they’re dead meat because Dawson found the condom. She tells him that she’s not worried, because Dawson’s convinced that the leading lady in Pacey’s torrid affair is someone whose name rhymes with Schmoey Schmotter. Cut over to Joey and Dawson. Dawson bitchily asks why she’s dancing with Pacey, and Joey spills the beans about the scholarship. He wants to know why she asked Pacey rather than him, and she says that they both needed help with something and that’s what friends do. He asks if all they are is friends, and the instructor yells to switch partners.
Pacey dashes back across the room, and grabs Joey. Jen ends up back with Dawson. Pacey spills the beans on Dawson’s misconception, and Joey’s horrified. She demands to know how Dawson got that idea, and Pacey starts to tell her but LOL NOPE. Time to switch partners again! Dawson grabs Pacey, and I snigger because obviously Pacey is leading. Dawson demands answers, and Pacey says that while it’s true that he and Joey have been spending a lot of time together recently, Dawson doesn’t get any say in that because Joey’s not his girlfriend any more. I cheer a little.
Diva: I love this lecture from Pacey. Also, can someone dance with the goddamn old people for a second? These four are really bad at musical couples.
K: Really REALLY bad.
Dawson reluctantly admits that when he said to Pacey that he and Joey needed to go their separate ways, it never really occurred to him that Joey would actually move on. Pacey eyerolls a little, and says that Dawson talks forever (TRUE) but never actually listens to himself, because he’s totally not over Joey. Dawson scoffs, and Pacey’s all “PLEASE LOOK AT THE GLORIOUSNESS THAT IS KATIE HOLMES”. Like, he literally points clear across the room, and no one bats an eyelid. It’s kind of weird. (D: It’s SUPER weird.)
Anyway, Pacey makes a pretty fabulous speech: “How long did you think it was gonna be before some guy comes along and is interested in her? I mean, really, dude! And when that happens, what are you gonna do?” Dawson mutters that he’ll take it as it comes. Pacey scoffs, and points out that the hypothetical guy probably won’t be his best friend, and therefore won’t give a shit about his whiny white boy feelings. Hypothetical Guy will just plough right over them. Dawson glares a little, and demands to know why he found a condom in his room. Pacey eyerolls and leaves the room. Jen follows as the instructor tells everyone to switch again.
In the coat room, Jen tells Pacey to calm down as he rants about Dawson. He changes the topic to them, wanting to know why they still haven’t boinked. They sit on the floor together, and Jen blames it on their prudish society. Pacey chuckles and puts an arm around her shoulders. Things rapidly take a turn for the romantic.
Jack dithers outside a coffee shop, then looks through the door and spots Ben, who’s totally cuter than his picture and who looks sort of nervous. Some 90s soft rock does its thing as Jack reaches for the doorknob. Back at the dance studio, Dawson and Joey head towards the coat room, as Dawson says that Pacey’s definitely sleeping with someone. Obviously, they walk in on Pacey and Jen making out. Dawson scoffs, then looks surprised, while Joey looks a little hurt. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Pacey and Jen insist that it’s nothing, but Joey disagrees. She says that one or other of them is going to get hurt, and appeals to Dawson for back up. He doesn’t supply it.
Jen’s surprised by Joey’s reaction, and Pacey reluctantly confesses that Joey knows about their no-strings-attached arrangement. Jen’s horrified, both that Joey knows and that Pacey went to Joey for advice about their arrangement. She wants to know why he went to Joey specifically, and he’s all “IDK, she was there?”. Jen’s clearly hurt, and says that Dawson used to run to Joey over everything too. Pacey insists that he had no one else to talk to about it, because going to Andie was out and talking to Doug is a terrible idea. She wants to know why he didn’t ask Dawson, and he has this amazing reaction:
Diva: LOLFOREVER. Let’s use this gif all the time always.
K: MOTION PASSED.
Jen suggests that maybe it’s because she used to be Dawson’s girlfriend. Somehow all of this takes a leap to Jen saying that Pacey’s overreaction was just as bad as Joey’s, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to add the two overreactions together and come up with sexual tension. Pacey’s confused and insists that there’s nothing going on between him and Joey. Jen disagrees: there’s nothing going on between the two of them. It’s never going to work. Their little arrangement is over before it ever really began. They agree that they’re both disappointed and slightly relieved. Jen kisses him on the cheek and heads out as the tinkly orchestra does its thing.
Chez Grams. Jack gets home to find Andie waiting up in the kitchen, eager to hear how things went. He says that in order to have date stories, you actually have to go on a date, but that he can’t talk about it because he knows Andie will just tell him he handled it all wrong. She insists that after all the putting her back together that he’s done, it’s her turn. Jack tearfully confesses that he didn’t even go in. He panicked at the door, and then he saw a hetero couple, and he wanted so badly to be “normal” that he freaked out and left. Andie tells him that he’s spent his whole life being brave, and that it’s okay to be afraid sometimes. Also that when it’s right, he’ll know it, and he won’t be afraid to walk through the door. I have some more sibling feels.
Diva: I was excited for this episode because of the Pacey-Joey rumblings, but this really is a quietly fantastic Jack episode. He was warm and funny and sad and sweet all at the same time.
K: Agreed.
Dawson and Joey walk through downtown Capeside. As they walk, he tells her that what they just witnessed was inevitable. Apparently this should make her feel better?? IDEK, you guys. Mostly it’s just gross. Joey insists that it’s not real, because Jen and Pacey are just using each other. Dawson says that everyone is doing that, and at least they’re being honest. Also, he doesn’t think they really wanted sex. They wanted comfort, because they were both lonely. And he’s weirdly okay with them seeking that comfort in his bed without his permission. Urgh.
Joey says that Dawson could never seek comfort with “the first available warm body“, and he says that she couldn’t either. But he understands the impulse to reach out and have someone there to touch. Joey doesn’t see the point in kissing someone without any feeling behind it. Dawson tells her that sometimes you can’t control the way you feel. She realises that she forgot her coat and heads back inside, bidding Dawson goodnight.
Back inside the dance studio, Joey grabs her coat then sees Pacey sitting alone at a table as old couples dance past him. A little reluctantly, she heads over to him and sits down. She apologises for overreacting, and Pacey informs her that he and Jen never actually slept together. Joey says it’s none of her business, but she looks a little relieved. Pacey wants to know why she came back, and she says that Dawson told her to take pity on him and his general patheticness. Pacey chuckles and says he owes Dawson. They go to leave, and the instructor tells them there’s a class about to start.
Joey scoffs, but Pacey says they have a scholarship to win. (D: An adorable moment, Pacey insisting that they stay.) The instructor’s all “Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah, about that…” and admits that there’s no scholarship this year. But she can offer them six months of free dance lessons instead. Joey’s all “LOL NOPE”, but Pacey sasses that maybe they’ve found their calling, and they should take her up on the offer. “Give it up, Pacey. You definitely were not that good,” Joey says. She grabs his hand and they leave, chuckling. Fade to black.
Okay, let’s do this in list form: The good things about this episode? The death of the friends-with-benefits subplot, Pacey/Joey adorableness, SOMEONE FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THAT PACEY AND JOEY IS TOTALLY GOING TO BE A THING. The bad things about this episode? The suuuuuuuuuuuuper annoying dance instructor, the “let’s boink in Dawson’s bed” idea because ew ew ew ew ew, and any second of the episode in which Dawson Leery was on screen. Overall, I’d call this a 7/10?? Maybe a 6.5…
Diva: I think I liked this episode! I mean, I agree with all those bad points, but that’s SO MANY FEWER BAD POINTS THAN USUAL, you guys. Progress.
Next time: Dawson enters his Blair Witch rip-off in a film festival, and an old friend from elsewhere in Traumaland shows up in Dawson’s Creek S03 E10 – First Encounters of the Close Kind.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
