Previously: The prom and Caleb died.
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Dearly Beloved
Jessica: From the previouslies, I can see that shit is going DOWN here at the O.C. Everyone is varying degrees of upset and angry and there was even a dramatic pool dive. And now it’s finale time.
Sandy talks to someone on the phone while looking over brochures for a swanky rehab place. He says he’ll meet them soon, right after this funeral he has to attend, which I take is that of Caleb. Ah Caleb, we knew ye too well to mourn ye.
Seth walks somberly downstairs and greets Kirsten. They make awkward small talk about Caleb that isn’t entirely true. Seth is looking for a cell phone charger and goes into Sandy’s office and rifles through drawers to find one. That’s when he comes across the rehab brochure Sandy was looking at earlier. He picks it up and frowns.
He takes it into the pool house and hands it to Ryan. “I was depressed,” he says. “Now I’m depressed and confused.” I’m sure many of us can relate. Ryan cottons on that it’s probably for Kirsten, and we cut to her drawing the drapes with the mopiest face that ever moped.
Marines: The implication here is basically, “see that mopey face? It definitely needs rehab.” OKAY, SHOW.
J: CALIFORNIAAAAAA!
Swanky rehab center. Sandy explains Kirsten’s increased drinking habits to a guy in a white jacket. On top of the questionable choice of switching from wine to vodka, she was recently in a car crash and Sandy thinks that Caleb’s death could push her over the edge.
White Jacket suggests she stay on as a center resident, and the shot of the “peaceful, relaxing environment” is exactly like the cover of the brochure, except the water’s moving in the fountain so not exactly exactly. It’s nice though.
Sandy’s not sure about the residential part, but he’s definitely sure she won’t come voluntarily, which apparently is normal for Dr. White Jacket. Don’t you have to give consent, as an adult, to be checked into something like that? But this is the O.C. If you’re not dramatically dragged off somewhere, you’re not doing it right.
Mari: It’s the finale, too. Someone has to make a dramatic exit.
J: Shots of sailboats and coastline segue us to Marissa’s house. She’s looking at her bruises in the mirror and wow, this episode is pretty depressing right from the get-go. She covers up as Julie knocks and enters, asking if Marissa has any dresses she can borrow. As if a dress that fits Coathanger girl would fit her too.
“It’s a funeral, not a fashion show,” Marissa sasses Julie, then decides maybe that’s a bit harsh and apologizes. They have a rare moment of bonding over the fact that Marissa acted like a bitch. The doorbell interrupts.
TA-DAA! It’s Jimmy Cooper, temporarily un-abandoning his teenaged daughter.
“You didn’t think I’d leave you two alone during this, did you?” he asks. There’s an awkward pause and then he says, “I can see how you might.” Despite all this, they tell him it’s good to see him and he gets welcomed in instead of kicked to the curb. (M: I instantly wanted to punch him in the face. Stupid Jimmy.)
Cohen Household of Moving Slowly and Talking Quietly. Kirsten, wearing black, answers the door to her sister, Hailey. They hug. Hailey feels a little bit bad for causing her dad stress and anxiety all these years, but Kirsten tells her he was proud of her. On the other hand, the last words she told him were that he would die alone. Is Kirsten a wizard?
Summer enters Seth’s room with her Princess Sparkle My Little Pony, claiming to be in search of Captain Oats. Forget Ryan/Marissa Seth/Summer, these horses are the best relationship on the show. Remember that time even seeing a toy horse kept Summer from traveling to Europe and she came back to Seth? Yeah, good times.
She tries to comfort him but he admits he’s more worried about Kirsten, and tells her about the rehab brochure. He also admits he’s been so self-involved that he hasn’t noticed her drinking problem. He tries to say it might even be partially his fault but Summer calls him out for being self-involved again. “I think this is bigger than you.”
Trey arrives at his crappy apartment to find a blond woman I don’t recognize waiting outside his door. They talk drug dealing, which apparently booms around graduation time, but Trey doesn’t seem all that interested. Turns out Blond Drug Dealer (BDD) needs his help with something. She reaches into her purse and super casually pulls out a gun, holding it by the end of the barrel in the most unsafe way possible. Trey grabs it from her as she asks if he knows how to use it. He’s not a sniper or anything, but he can at least hold it in a way that he won’t shoot his own fingers off. Apparently, that seals the deal.
Imogen Heap’s “Hide and Seek” plays over funeral montage. I didn’t know Caleb much, but I doubt this kind of music was really his jam. Sandy, of course, gives the eulogy because he’s almost the best person ever. His eyebrows are chock full of forgiveness and understanding.
Mari: Seriously, major props to Sandy for giving the eulogy, after everything. He even keeps it honest by saying Caleb was a terrible father-in-law. #legit
J: Bam! Funeral is over and we’re at the Bait Shop where Trey is working. BDD sashays up. He’s not super happy to see her, but she’s fine discussing her drug deal in the open at his place of employment. She chose the Bait Shop as the location for it all to go down and Trey swears this is the last time and he’s out after this.
Funeral buffet at the Cohen’s. Hailey comes up to talk with Jimmy. They chitchat about Hawaii and watch Kirsten down a glass of wine. She walks to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of vodka and fills her glass with an impressive amount. Sandy walks up all, hey maybe not a great idea? But she just chugs it down. As she leaves angrily, Julie comes over to Sandy offering to help keep an eye on her. But Sandy thinks nothing will help and sighs. He may have been taking brood lessons from Ryan.
Mari: He probably acquired them through broody osmosis. You can’t have lived with Ryan this whole time and not have picked something up.
J: It’s definitely something of a science.
Meanwhile, Seth, Ryan and Marissa complain about talking to people and retire to the pool house. Summer is loading food onto a plate and offers it to an increasingly ragged looking Kirsten. She refuses and staggers off. Sandy asks if Summer wouldn’t mind getting Seth out of the house for a little bit, while in the background Kirsten grabs another glass of booze. Do you see where this is heading yet, viewers? DO YOU?
Pool house. The boys are playing video games, and Marissa is just sort of existing next to them. Summer says that “funeral food is boring” and suggests going out for chili fries. The others agree, because they know that if someone says the words “chili fries” then the only appropriate response is YES. Marissa asks if Trey will be there, but Ryan assures her he works the day shifts.
DJs and dancing music. Apparently the Bait Shop serves as a club too? (M: Damn, I thought they were going to the diner, not from funeral to club.) (J: I bet the diner would have had good chili fries.) Trey’s at the bar having a drink when he sees the gang walk in. Wow, that didn’t take long. For plot reasons, Trey walks up and gives Seth his condolences. Some awkward conversation ensues until BDD arrives and takes him away. Instead of leaving to go somewhere else — surely the O.C. has more than one place with chili fries? And this place definitely doesn’t look like a chili fries joint. Why are they not more focused on their chili fries?? — they decide to get drinks and find a place to sit.
Trey doesn’t want to do the deal with his brother and Marissa there, but BDD says it’s too late and checks that he’s still got the loaded gun. Meanwhile, Summer wants to know about the tension between Marissa and Trey. A little competition between brothers, she wonders? Marissa won’t talk.
Seth and Ryan are at the bar, waiting for drinks. So like, Pepsi or something, right? Because they’re all teenagers and under 21 still? Ryan watches some sketchy dudes go up the stairs to talk to BDD and his brood increases by 25%.
Funeral After Party. Jimmy chats with Sandy. “You left just before things got really crazy,” Sandy says, perhaps a little wistfully. Julie then alerts him to Kirsten, who has moved beyond glasses and is tottering around with an open bottle of booze in her hand. He tries to get her to go to bed, but she yells and drops the bottle. People look around all shocked, and Kirsten lets herself get half dragged off by Jimmy and Julie. Sandy broods after her.
(No) Chili Fries Club. BDD does some drugs and Trey looks nervous. Sketchy Guy shows them a big bag of money, but then it turns out he shorted them. (M: WHY would he alert them to that fact? He’s doing sketchy deals wrong.) He and his sketchy bros sneer menacingly as BDD shouts that they had a deal. He gets in her face, so she pulls the gun out of Trey’s waistband and points it at him, demanding her money. “You’re going to have to shoot me,” Sketchy Guy says. She shrugs and shoots just above him into the air. People scream and she grabs the bag of money.
She and Trey run out while other club-goers scream and run. Ryan and company watch them go, then have to duck when Sketchy Guy shoots at retreating Trey and BDD. Everyone is ok except for Marissa, who cut her face on broken glass when she hit the deck. Ryan’s brood increases now 50%.
Calmer Cohen Household. The funeral after party is over. Sandy and Hailey watch an old movie on TV while Kirsten sleeps it off in another room. Hailey wants to know how she can help and suggests getting Kirsten out of the house for a day at the spa while Sandy talks to Ryan and Seth. Sandy thinks that will work just fine.
Ryan arrives at Trey’s shitty apartment. Apparently it’s the next day because Ryan asks, “What happened last night?” Trey says he was just helping out BDD, whose name is Jess, actually, and that it was the last time. Ryan’s heard it before but Trey says no, this Jess chick is like whoah crazy. Ryan wants Trey to leave Newport. He delivers his ultimatum and Trey finally just sighs and nods, saying he’ll be gone in the morning. Sad music plays as Ran walks out.
Dead Guy’s Mansion. Jimmy brings coffee and donuts to Julie. (M: I laughed forever at 7-11 powdered doughnuts. I love trashy powdered doughnuts.)(J: They are certainly the tastiest) He wants the three of them to go sailing, but Julie says Marissa won’t be up until close to sundown. Jimmy doesn’t think this is weird or troubling, and suggests that just the two of them go. She agrees, and says she’ll write Marissa a note. When you live in that gigantic a house, where do you leave notes like that? A person could wander around for hours and never come across it. #richpeopleproblems
Still Depressed Cohen Household. Seth and Sandy talk about a funeral’s silver lining, which is apparently all the free food that people send. Seth asks how Kirsten is doing, which segues Sandy into The Talk. “Your mom has a drinking problem. She needs help.” Seth brings up the rehab brochure and asks if they can do it themselves. Sandy thinks the problem has grown too big. They’re going to stage an intervention. Seth argues, mad that he’s been kept in the dark about her problem. He doesn’t want to help “ship her off.” Sandy tells Seth his mother needs him. Ryan walks into the middle of it. Seth storms out in anger, and Ryan offers to talk to him, believing Sandy is doing the right thing. “Thanks, but that’s my job,” says Sandy, the best father ever.
Marissa is looking in her mirror now trying to hide her face cut from the other night. Summer appears, suggesting pancakes on the pier and sunbathing. I’m noticing the majority of Summer’s suggestions involve delicious foods and I highly approve. But she wants to know what’s going on with Trey first. Marissa breaks down into tears and they hug.
Sandy comes into Seth’s bedroom and sits down next to him on the bed. Kirsten might be gone for months, he says. Seth can’t believe this is happening to them and isn’t sure he can do it. The doorbell interrupts their father-son moment; the doctor from the rehab clinic. They hug too and it’s so sweet.
Cut to Hailey and Kirsten in a convertible, driving back from the spa. Kirsten suggests calling and asking if they should pick up any food, but Hailey awkwards there’s plenty of food around from the funeral still and they should probably just go straight back.
Cohen Household. Sandy welcomes Kirsten back and asks her into the kitchen, where she meets Dr. White Jacket. Her face falls and her cheerfulness fades as she realizes what’s going on. Sandy, Hailey and Ryan each take a minute to speak to her about their concern (Hailey even calls her Keeks, the nickname recapper Rachel used in episode 19!). She snaps at each of them, but they soldier on. Kirsten demands that she’s not going, then whirls around to storm out, only to confront Seth, who pleads with her that she needs to do this. She cries and he hugs her, then everyone comes in for a group hug.
The only two happy people in this episode, Julie and Jimmy, are returning from their sailing trip. Julie feels bad for being happy just one day after her husband’s funeral, and Jimmy points out that her marriage wasn’t exactly one of tender love. Not “what we had,” she says. Jimmy suggests he stay, and they give their marriage another shot, now that they’re older and wiser (my original notes had a typo here and said “wider.” Heh). They hold hands and smile.
Trey’s crappy apartment. He’s packing when suddenly he hears “Going somewhere?” from Jess, who’s sitting uninvited in his living room like a creeper. She suggests leaving together and he sasses her back, until she drops some big wads of cash on the table, suggesting they head to Vegas. She definitely has his interest now. She’s going to go home and pack, steal her stepdad’s fancy car and come back. They kiss and she smirks as she walks off.
Ryan and Seth float despondently in the pool. (M: They at least have a variety of despondent activities.) Ryan suggests getting out of the house. The doorbell rings.
Mari: BEST.
J: It’s Summer. She wants to talk to Seth alone. She tells him about Trey’s attempted rape of Marissa while Seth and Ryan were gone. Seth insists that Ryan has to be told.
Peaceful Rehab. Dr. White Jacket greets them. Sandy stays in the room while Kirsten unpacks, commenting on how nice everything looks. A nurse tells them she won’t be able to call home for 72 hours. They have their touching goodbye scene, full of longing looks, apologies, tears and sad music. Sandy tells her she’s going to beat this thing. They kiss and he leaves.
Mari: Even though 95% of everything that lead to this moment twas purely ridiculous, they played the whole intervention and rehab thing straight and it gave me a sad. For all its soapy terribleness, the cute core family is what really drives this show and to see it so fractured is sad. GET BETTER SOON, KEEKS.
J: I know! I had zero snarks for this because exactly, they played it so straight and it was sincere and just the right amount of emotional. I want my favorite fictional parents to be happy, dammit!
Cohen Household. Seth is trying to figure out how to tell Ryan about Trey. He extracts a promise that there will be no “old school Ryan Atwood” and everything will stay calm. Ryan gets more intense as Seth explains. He says he’s tried to be a different person, but he only knows one way, and now he’s got to settle things with Trey. “Once and for all.” Because it’s the finale. (M: A mid-season once and for all would be awkward.)
Formerly Caleb’s Mansion. Marissa walks up on Jimmy and Julie getting dinner ready “to eat as a family.” “Okaaay,” she says, a little uncertain. They reveal that Jimmy will be staying on and they might be getting back together. Marissa smiles and hugs them, even Julie! But happiness cannot last and her phone rings. It’s Seth and Summer, telling her that Ryan knows and he’s on his way to Trey’s. Their plan in calling her is to get her to stop him before he gets there, which is a pretty terrible plan. Come on, they’ve known Ryan for four years now. Anyway, drama, yes, that is the thing. Marissa hangs up and runs off. Her car screeches its tires as it leaves the driveway.
Ryan arrives at Trey’s place, now at maximum brood. When Trey answers the door, Ryan tells him that he knows what he did to Marissa, and starts yelling, bringing up the car jacking that got him in jail back in the pilot episode. Trey yells back and Ryan gets up in his face and shoves him. Trey escalates the hell out of the situation by grabbing the gun and points it at Ryan, telling him to back away. Ryan does, but as soon as Trey relaxes he yells and tackles him. They struggle on the floor, punching and kicking each other. The music is still this weird calm slow thing. Marissa pulls up and runs in as Trey gets on top of Ryan and starts choking him. She tries to get him to stop but Trey instead picks up the telephone (for you young kids at home, this is what is called a Rotary phone, and it’s very big and clunky and would hurt a lot if you got hit in the head with it) and raises it up like he’s going to bash Ryan’s head in. Marissa grabs the gun off the floor and shoots Trey in the back. (M: OMG, WHAT?)
Mmm, whatcha say?
Next time: Everyone deals with Trey’s shooting and Kirsten goes to rehab in The OC S03 E01 – The Aftermath.
I'm a chronic book nerd and love storytelling in all forms. I'm particularly excited by the rise of the television show as an art form with long, cinematically beautiful plots and complex character arcs (I also watch cartoons). My travels in the past handful of years have led me through three continents and most recently landed me among the majestic mountains of Colorado. Some day I will compile all my travel journals/blogs into one place. Some day. Until then, you can find me with craft beer in hand, ready at any moment to deeply and passionately discuss survival tactics for the zombie apocalypse.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
