Previously: Don’t answer the phone to unsaved numbers or your dead loved ones might try to convince you to commit suicide.
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Time Is On My Side
Kirsti: We open outside a hospital at night. Two doctors walk out discussing their plans for the night, and how one has to start work stupidly early the next day. They go their separate ways, and we follow one to his car. He puts a bag into the boot and promptly gets shoved in there after it. He bangs on the closed lid. Cut to him staggering into an emergency room, holding his stomach. A nurse walks up and kindly says that he can move his hands because there’s nothing she hasn’t seen before. She pulls his hands away, and his intestines fall out onto the floor. She screams.
Marines: And dude is probably like, “HELLO. I HAD MY HANDS THERE FOR A REASON.”
K: Truth.
SATAN’S SCREENSAVER!
After the Not Credits, the boys are torturing a demon for information. Dean forces holy water into its mouth and demands to know who holds his contract. The demon smirks and says the demon that holds his contract is way scarier than the Winchesters. Sam starts an exorcism, and the demon sasses that sending him back to Hell will just give him time to roll out the red carpet for Dean. Sam finishes the exorcism and the demon screams.
Later, Dean returns from burying the body to find Sam on the phone. When he hangs up, he informs Dean that the case they saw in the paper the previous day – a dude who walked into a hospital with his liver ripped out – has taken a new weird twist. The doctor’s body was covered in bloody fingerprints. And they weren’t his. They belong to a guy who died in 1981. Dean’s all excited about zombies, then gets suspicious because Sam’s been on SAVE DEAN!! patrol for weeks, and now he wants to check out a zombie case. Sam’s all “Hey whoa trying to help out”, and Dean backs down before they head off to investigate.
Mari: Suspicious Sam is suspicious.
K: VERY.
Cut to a medical examiner’s lab. The boys ask the ME if there were bite marks on the body, and he gives them a “WTF??” look. He asks to see their IDs, then declares them to be “cops AND morons” after studying them. He informs them that the liver was surgically removed and asks if they even read his report. The boys awkward, and the ME tells them to GTFO. (M: I like him. Get this ME a spinoff.)
Outside in the hall, Sam grins. Dean’s confused because their case is back to square one unless the killer is “Doctor Quinn, medicine zombie“. Sam says they should start looking for survivors, because this isn’t about zombies. It’s about organ theft. Cut to a hospital room. A guy says he’s already told the cops everything and he doesn’t want to talk to the boys because he just had his kidney stolen. Sam asks the last thing he remembers, and the guy sarcastically says he was feeding the meter when someone grabbed him. He woke up on an operating table, then in a bathtub full of ice minus a kidney.
Mari: Gosh, this episode is 2/2 with the background people having none of the Winchester’s faux-vestigation crap.
K: And I am totally on board with it.
Motel of the Week. Sam does research while Dean shoves a burger in his face. Apparently Kidney-less Guy’s doctor told Sam that the wound was sewed up with silk, which was common in the early 1800s and often led to infections. Sam says that one of the common ways to help avoid infection was maggots, and Kidney-less Guy was stuffed full of maggots. Dean makes “OMFG I AM EATING DON’T MAKE ME HURL” noises.
When he’s done being grossed out, he realises that the whole thing sounds kind of familiar. Sam says it’s because Papa Winchester told them about it when they were kids – a dude named Doc Benton from New Hampshire who was obsessed with living forever. He disappeared in 1816, and 20 years later people started showing up dead or missing parts. And it was because Doc was replacing his worn out ones. Dean says he thought Papa Winchester tracked him down and cut out his heart, and Sam says Doc must have found a new one.
Sam goes on to say that Doc is hella specific about where he works – he prefers dense forest with access to a stream or river to get rid of the leftovers, like intestines and faecal matter. Dean gags and puts his burger down. Sam smirks, and it’s such a little brother thing to do.
Mari: As is Sam’s smile when he says fecal matter. I mean, who knew saying fecal matter could be adorable?
K: Supernatural, that’s who.
That night, we watch a jogger stop for a break and check his heart rate monitor. Someone presses a chloroform-soaked cloth over his nose. He wakes on a makeshift operating table, strapped down. Doc walks in, and his skin is total patchwork. Doc cuts open the jogger’s chest and removes his heart as the jogger screams. I call bullshit because I’m pretty sure he would have blacked out from the pain well before his RIB CAGE WAS CRACKED OPEN WHAT THE FUCK. (M: The foley guys seemed to have really enjoyed this bit. YICK.) But sure, show. Whatever. The zoomy cameraman zooms in on the heart rate monitor, which beeps that it has no signal. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, the boys examine a map at the Motel of the Week. Sam marks a couple of areas full of abandoned cabins. Just as they’re about to set out, Dean’s phone rings. It’s Bobby, who says he has a lead on Bela: a former hunter named Rufus Turner called in response to Bobby’s request for information. Dean says it’s pretty sloppy for Bela to talk to one of Bobby’s friends, and Bobby says he hasn’t seen Rufus in 15 years. He tells Dean that Rufus lives in Canaan, Vermont and that they should take a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue with them.
Dean’s all gung ho to leave, and Sam’s confused because they already have a case and also there’s no way in hell for Bela to still have the Colt. Dean smirks that if that’s the case, he’ll just kill her. Sam says he’s not going, because finding Doc is what’s going to save Dean’s life. Dean’s confused, and Sam says if he doesn’t die, he can’t go to Hell. Dean stops and turns on Sam, angrily asking if he knew it was Doc from the beginning. Sam reluctantly says he didn’t know but he hoped.
Dean snaps, and yells that if he backs out of the deal, Sam dies. And living forever counts as backing out. Sam says he’ll use Doc’s live-forever method too, and DUDE. NO. Dean agrees with me, and says that their best bet is to kill the demon that holds his contract. Sam scoffs, and wants to know how that’ll work when they have no idea which demon they’re looking for. Dean snaps that he’ll use the Colt to kill the hellhounds that come after him.
Sam insists that he’s staying, and Dean’s all “Hahahahaha, NO.” Sam asks how Dean’s planning on stopping him, and Dean looks shocked. Finally, he says that he’s going and Sam can stay if he wants. Dean heads to the door, and Sam doesn’t follow. Dean quietly tells his brother to be careful, and they share a feels-laden look. Sam replies “You too” before Dean pulls the door shut behind him. Sam sighs.
Mari: A whole few hours apart? SIGH.
K: However will they cope?
In Vermont, Dean walks up Rufus’ front steps and rings the doorbell, which has a big “NO SOLICITORS” sign by it. He hears a noise and looks up to see a security camera. Rufus, via the intercom, asks what Dean wants. He introduces himself and says Bobby said Rufus had a lead on Bela. Rufus has no fucks to give, and refuses to tell Dean where she is. “Look, man,” Dean starts, and Rufus opens the door to school him because they’re not friends and Rufus isn’t his man. He tells Dean to GTFO. Dean sheepishly pulls out a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue, and asks if it’s considered good scotch. Rufus grins.
Inside, they have a drink and Dean asks why Bela contacted Rufus. Rufus says she wanted to buy some things that’ll take him a while to locate. He studies Dean for a second, then asks why he’s spending his last three weeks chasing Bela. Dean’s surprised that Rufus knows, and Rufus tells him that the Colt isn’t going to save him. And even if it does, something else will get him down the road. Yeah, but Rufus, you forget that the Winchesters have died and come back to life more times than Buffy Summers. Dean’s surprised by Rufus’ attitude, and Rufus gives him “are you fucking kidding me?” face, and says Dean will end up like him if he survives.
Back in Ohio, we get a weirdly long shot of Sam locking his rental car and walking into the woods alone. Cut back to Vermont. Rufus tells Dean that Bela’s at a local hotel, and to watch his back because there are things he doesn’t know about Bela. Dean sasses that running Bela’s fingerprints is useless, and Rufus smirks “You do her ear?“. Dean thinks it’s a weird sex thing (EW), but Rufus eyerolls and says that ears are as unique as fingerprints.
Mari: Dean isn’t nearly as suspicious as he should be. I don’t care who this guy is; if a person who told you to GTFO then gives you a handy envelope of information, be suspicious.
K: SERIOUSLY.
In Ohio, it’s now night. Sam breaks into Doc’s cabin and creeps around. He finds Doc’s journal and pockets it, then creeps down the stairs to the Basement of Don’t Go In There. He finds the corpse of the jogger from earlier, then finds a woman tied to a table with her arm covered in maggots. Sam goes to take her pulse, and she gasps. Sam freaks for a minute, but says he’s there to help her. He wraps a cloth around her arm and apologises when she cries out in pain. They hear footsteps upstairs, and the woman starts crying. The footsteps move towards them, and we see Doc coming into the basement with a lamp. Sam and the woman are gone. Doc stares at the broken basement window with disdain. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Sam carries the woman to his car and helps her into the passenger seat. He scurries around to the driver’s side and goes to start the engine. Doc smashes the window and slams Sam’s head against the steering wheel. Sam shoves the car into reverse, and the woman screams. He slams it back into gear and accelerates over Doc with a thump. As the car speeds away, Doc stands up and watches them go, his head on a broken-neck angle.
Bela returns to her hotel room to find Dean there waiting for her. He pins her to the wall and points his gun at her, demanding to know where the Colt is. She tells him that it’s on the other side of the world, but she’ll ring the buyer for him if he can speak Farsi. He doesn’t believe her, and frisks her before searching the room. When his back’s turned, she inches towards the door. A bullet just misses her and she freezes. Dean tells her not to move again. (M: Um, hope no one else at that hotel minds that bullet going off…)
Bela says again that the Colt is gone, and asks if Dean’s going to kill her. He snaps that he’s not the cold blooded type. Not like her, who killed her parents at the age of 14 and inherited millions. Bela’s shocked that he knows her big secret, and Dean sneers. That throws us into an Instagram filtered flashback in which Mini!Bela (real name Abby) sits on her bed crying as a man – presumably her father – walks into her bedroom and closes the door. She looks terrified. Excuse me while I vomit.
Mari: I kind of had no idea what was happening there. But I’m getting the vomit tones now.
K: Back in the present, Bela shows no emotion. “They were lovely people. And I killed them. And I got rich. I can’t be bothered to give a damn. Just like I don’t care what happens to you,” she says.
Dean spots the strand of herbs, and glances back at Bela thoughtfully. Then he steps away, and tells her that she’s not worth the bullet. He leaves, and once he’s gone, Bela unfolds a piece of paper in her hand. It’s the receipt from the Motel of the Week. She makes a phone call, and tells the person on the other end that Dean found her and she knows where he’s staying.
Cut to a motel. Sam’s phone rings, and he answers. It’s Dean, who fills him in on not having the Colt and how he couldn’t bring himself to kill Bela. He says that he’s totally screwed. Sam disagrees. He tells Dean that he found Doc’s cabin. Dean asks if he killed Doc, and Sam says he didn’t but that he stole Doc’s journal and it contains the formula. It’s not magic, it’s just really weirdo science. Not gonna lie, all I could think of was Fringe…
Sam says he thinks the formula could save Dean’s life. Just then, an arm snakes around Sam’s neck and covers his mouth with a cloth. Sam drops the phone and collapses into Doc’s arms. Dean yells his brother’s name. (M: SAAAM! shot.) (K: You’re right, we really need that on the drinking game.) Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Sam comes to tied to an operating table in Doc’s Basement of Don’t Go In There. His eyes are taped open, and I’m immediately on the Nope Train. Doc tells him to relax because his chances of surviving the operation are pretty good. Sam asks how Doc knows his name, and Doc starts wibbling about how he’s not a monster. He’s never done anything he hasn’t had to. He’s just replaced parts when they wear out.
He picks up what looks like a large melon baller and NOPE NOPE NOPITY NOPE. Then he talks about how Papa Winchester cut out his heart and it was super inconvenient but he really enjoyed reading about himself in the Filofax of Shadows, which he took when he captured Sam. He puts the scoopy thing right next to Sam’s eyeball and NYARGH. Luckily, three shots ring out to save me from the eyeball trauma. Doc turns, and tells Dean that he can shoot all he wants but it’s totally pointless because Doc can’t die. Okay, but like what if you chop his head off? Would his body stagger around for all eternity looking for his head? What if you strapped him to a bomb? What if you threw his body to a pack of hungry lions and then dropped his head in the Marianas Trench?? I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS, DAMMIT.
Mari: Clearly the Doc just isn’t very imaginative with all the ways he most certainly can die.
K: Ahem. Doc walks towards Dean, and Dean fires twice more. Doc laughs it off and throws Dean into a wall. He ends up on the ground. Doc leans down towards him, and Dean stabs him in the chest. Doc scoffs because, you know, death is impossible, but Dean’s all “LOL TOO BAD I DIPPED THE KNIFE IN CHLOROFORM”. Doc collapses.
Sometime later, Doc wakes to find himself strapped to the operating table. The boys sass at him, and he begs, telling them that he can help. Dean suggests chopping him into little pieces. Doc says he can read the formula for them. Sam walks out of the room and signals to Dean to follow. He says that Dean can either die in three weeks or find a new pancreas in 50 years. It buys them time to find a better solution. “Dean, don’t you want to live?” he says.
Dean insists that Doc isn’t living, and that he’d rather go to Hell than become a monster. He stalks back over to Doc and presses a chloroform covered rag over his nose and mouth. As Doc blacks out, Dean tells Sam that he can help or not. It’s up to him.
Doc comes to in a box and lights a match. He tries to open the lid and can’t. The camera pans outside to show us that the boys have chained him up in an old fridge and put his diary on the top. They’re burying it in a hole that’s like 3 metres deep. Okay, but seriously. Dismemberment would be easier than digging a 3 metre deep hole, you idiots. (M: Or at least do both…) And it’s really not sensible to bury in the diary WITH HIM. (M: Um, burn it.) Honestly, did you think this through at all?? Whatever. The boys bury Doc alive as he screams to be let out. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Bela walks down a motel hallway and picks the lock on a door. Once inside, she pulls out a gun with a silencer attached and shoots the sleeping figures in each bed. We get a weird shot of the clock, which reads 11.56pm. Then she pulls back the bedclothes and is shocked to find that each bed contains a rapidly deflating sex doll. The phone rings and she picks it up. Dean smugly informs her that he felt her steal the motel receipt. Bela says he doesn’t understand, but Dean insists that he does. He tells her that he saw the herbs above her door and he knows they’re for keeping hellhounds away.
He says he read her parents’ obituary again and realised that they died exactly ten years ago. He concludes that she made a deal and now her time is up. That throws us into another flashback. Mini!Bela sits on a swing and a creepy looking little girl appears next to her and offers to take care of her parents for her. The little girl’s eyes flash red.
Back in the present, Dean asks if that’s why she stole the Colt, and she admits that it is. Then she says that the demons changed the deal. They wanted her to kill Sam too. “Really! Wow, demons untrustworthy. Shocker…” Dean says sarcastically. He points out that it’s nearly midnight. Bela starts crying and says that she needs help, though she knows she doesn’t deserve it.
Dean snaps that if she’d come to them and asked for help, they could have teamed up with the Colt and saved her.
Bela cries that it would have saved him too, and says she knows about his deal. The demon that holds her contract holds his too. And that demon is Lilith. Dean wants to know why she’s telling him this when it’s too late to save her. Bela says tearfully that maybe he can kill Lilith for both of them. “I’ll see you in Hell,” he says and hangs up. Bela sits on the bed, listening to the beeping on the phone line and watches as the clock ticks over to midnight. A howling starts up in the distance and we fade to black.
Okay, so. I HATE that Bela’s story was wrapped up in such a half hearted way in one episode. I get that it was the writer’s strike blah blah whatever. But seriously?? An abused child made a demon deal to kill her abuser and you dedicate more time to a guy with a patchwork face than you do to THAT?? I mean, I get that Sam would be totally into tracking down Doc to save Dean. But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Bela’s story was by FAR the more interesting of the two. Sigh. Excuse me while I drink to yet another awesome female character being killed off.
Mari: Every time she was on my screen I was like, “what is her deal?” And then show went, “ANDTHISISHERDEAL, BYE.” It was really unappreciated from my first-time-watcher end as well. It really sucks that the show is so awful about background characters. We get a little developed POC and a quickly killed woman in this episode alone. When Kirsti and Sara first started writing these recaps I thought, “surely it can’t be all that bad.” LOL. It is.
It’s kind of painful (in a good-in-story kind of way) to watch these two bumble around, grasping at things that everyone watching knows will not pan out. It’s creating this feeling of hopelessness surrounding Dean’s impending demise, even as you know that he will live on. Because whether he lives or not is not really the point. The point seems to be, “the Winchesters cannot be happy.” Rufus shows up long enough to be all, “you may live, but you won’t ever be happy.”
Man. This crap is grim.
K: That should be the show’s motto.
Next time: It’s the season finale! Will Dean go to Hell? Will there be manpain? Will female characters get called bitches? (Answer to all three: highly likely) Find out for sure in Supernatural S03 E16 – No Rest for the Wicked.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
