Previously: We ranked things. But in the last actual episode, Dean went to Hell.
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Lazarus Rising
Kirsti: Yes, I totally pilfered that title from the Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman book. Shut up.
We start with flashing close-ups of Dean’s panicky eyes, accompanied by a screeching sound. It’s kind of like when you’re playing Lego Marvel Superheroes and Venom turns up… (M: I don’t really know what you are talking about, but A+.) Then the screen goes black and we hear Dean gasping for air. He flicks a lighter and stares around in a panic because he’s in a coffin. He calls for help, but his voice is hoarse. He punches the coffin lid, and soil trickles in. He shoves at it, and manages to break the lid on account of it’s not a real coffin, it’s made out of crappy bits of 2×4 or some shit. Soil rushes in and the screen goes dark again. Cut above ground. We see a crude wooden cross in a field, then Dean’s hand emerges from the ground. He drags himself out into the light, and lays on the ground staring up at the sky and gasping for air.
Sometime later, Dean’s pulled himself upright. He stares around him in shock as the camera pans around him. Then it zooms out and we get a nice juxtaposition of Dean’s shadow with the shadow of his grave marker before we see that he’s standing in a clearing and all the trees around the clearing have been knocked down.
Mari: As this started, I couldn’t help but compare it to Buffy’s ressurection. It doesn’t have much in common, but again: couldn’t help it. I was giving the edge to Buffy but I gotta admit that that long shot, with all the trees fallen? Pretty cool. Nice job, Supernatural.
K: Yeah, it’s hard to avoid Buffy comparisons.
Dean definitely seems to have an easier job of it, probably because he was buried in a shitty homemade coffin like a foot underground. But that long shot is awesome.
NOT CREDITS! I don’t know what to call them yet (Vale, Satan’s Screensaver. I miss you already), but it involves a flocks of crows erupting across the screen, then a metallic swishy noise and the title in blood red. It’s very Game of Thrones, really.
Marines: The Crowdits. (I tried.)
K: Better than anything I had…
After the Not Credits, Dean’s walking down an abandoned road. I follow someone on Tumblr who always tags their Jensen Ackles posts with “bow legged doofus”, and I always associate that with this scene because good LORD that boy has bow legs.
Mari: I HAD NEVER NOTICED. THIS CHANGES… nothing, but damn, those are some bow legs.
K: Anyway, he finds himself at an abandoned petrol station. He knocks on the door and calls out a hoarse greeting, but there’s no answer. He smashes the glass on the door and heads inside.
He chugs a bottle of water from the cooler, then looks around. He finds a newspaper with the date on it – 18 September 2008 – and stares in confusion. He heads to a sink in the back and washes his face. He stares at himself in the mirror, and pulls up his shirt. We flashback to the Hellhound ripping his chest apart, then back to the present as he realises he has no scars. He spots something on his arm and pulls up his shirt sleeve to reveal a handprint burnt into his shoulder. He gasps, and I giggle a little because it’s kind of like Wilson from Castaway is hanging out on Dean Winchester’s arm. Valid choice, Wilson. Valid choice.
Mari: Meanwhile, I’m like, “IS THAT PERMANENT? DO PEOPLE GET TATTOOS OF THAT TOO?”
K: Thankfully, no.
Anyway, Dean glances around suspiciously as the zoomy cameraman gets to work for the first time this season. Hello, friend. He grabs a bunch of food and water and a copy of Busty Asian Beauties, because this is Dean Winchester we’re talking about. He goes to raid the cash register, and the TV behind the counter switches itself on. There’s nothing but static. Dean looks perplexed, and switches it off. A radio comes on, and he takes a step towards it. The TV switches itself back on. A high pitched buzzing noise starts up, and Dean grabs a canister of salt from the shelves and starts pouring it along the window sills.
The noise gets louder and becomes ear piercing. Dean doubles up with his hands over his ears. The glass explodes out of the windows and fridges. Dean ends up on the floor surrounded by broken glass. The noise stops suddenly and he pulls himself upright, staring at the damage. The zoomy cameraman zooms out to show us how bad it really is.
Dean heads over to a pay phone and calls Sam’s number. It’s disconnected. He calls Bobby, who hangs up on him when Dean identifies himself. He calls back and the same thing happens. So he hot wires a car and drives away.
Cut to Bobby’s. There’s a knock on the door. Bobby answers it to find Dean on the other side. Bobby stares in shock and Dean smiles in relief. He steps inside, and Bobby swipes at him with a silver blade. Dean dodges, and gets punched in the face. He staggers back and starts rattling off facts about Bobby that only Dean could know, finishing with “You’re about the closest thing I have to a father“. Ow, my feels. (M: Definite nominee for Best Substitute Parent this year…) Bobby takes a step forward and hesitantly touches Dean’s shoulder. Dean relaxes, and Bobby attacks again.
They fight, and Dean gets the knife. He pulls up his sleeve and slices his arm with the blade to prove that he’s not a shapeshifter. Bobby hugs him tearfully. “It’s good to see you, boy,” Bobby says. He asks how Dean escaped from Hell, and Dean’s all “Fucked if I know.” He turns away to put the knife down, and when he turns back, Bobby throws holy water in his face. Dean stands there dripping for a second before Bobby apologises.
Dean asks why they buried him rather than giving him a bonfire-y hunter’s funeral, and Bobby says Sam refused to have it any other way because he was definitely going to get Dean out of Hell and Dean would need a body. Then he got really quiet and took off. He stopped returning Bobby’s phone calls . Dean headdesks a little and decides that Sam’s clearly been working some bad mojo. He tells Bobby about the trees at the grave site and the noise at the petrol station, and shows him the handprint on his shoulder. Bobby’s shocked, and Dean says he thinks Sam’s made a deal and that the demon who pulled him out of Hell left the handprint there.
Cut to sometime later. Dean rings the phone company and says he’s lost his phone and that he needs the GPS turned on. It’s under the name Wedge Antilles, which is seriously adorkable. Bobby asks how he knew Sam would use that name, and Dean replies “What don’t I know about that kid?“(M: Okay, now my feels.) (K: It’s funny that it’s the season premiere that brings the feels for both of us more than the previous finale, but OH WELL.) He heads over to the computer to check the GPS coordinates, and comments on all the empty whisky bottles Bobby has lying around. Bobby repeats, a little awkwardly, that things haven’t been easy. They share a feels-laden look, then Dean announces that Sam’s in Pontiac, Illinois. Which is right near where Dean was buried. What a crazy random happenstance.
Cut to a motel in Pontiac. Dean and Bobby knock on the door, and Genevieve Padalecki answers! Although technically she was Genevieve Cortese then. There are times when I really hate this show that refuses to die. And then there are times like this, when I remember that this show is responsible for a marriage and two adorable children, and my cold dead heart melts a little.
Mari: Meanwhile, my reaction was, “EW, HER!” I didn’t even know why until I looked it up. She was the terrible actress on a short-lived ABC Family show called Wildfire. I didn’t know she was married to Jared, though. Huh.
K: Their kids are stupid cute.
She asks why it takes two guys to deliver a pizza and also why don’t they have a pizza, and Dean mutters that they must have the wrong room.
Just then, Sam appears from the bathroom. He stares emotionally at Dean, and Dean smiles and says “Hiya, Sammy“. He walks into the motel room, and Sam pulls a knife and attacks him. Bobby drags Sam away as the future Mrs Padalecki screams. Sam yells that Dean’s some kind of monster, Dean yells that Sam made a deal, Bobby yells that he’s done all the tests and it’s really Dean. The fight goes out of Sam’s body, and he steps over and hugs Dean. They both sniffle a little as Bobby looks on with tears in his eyes.
After the Not Commercial Break, the boys break out the beer as Dean asks why Sam was in the area if it wasn’t to make a deal and save him. Sam says that he’s been trying to find Lilith and get some payback, and Bobby’s all “Wow, you are SO like your douchebag of a father”. Dean smirks as he picks up a bra from the bed and says he’s super duper sorry about all of Sam’s pain. Bitch, please. Bras are expensive. No girl in her right mind would leave her bra in a skeezy motel bed.
Mari: There is NO WAY I could walk out of anywhere and not notice I don’t have a bra on.
K: Maybe this is a girls-with-small-boobs thing?? Because yeah.
Sam eyerolls a little and says that he was tracking some demons in Tennessee when they suddenly all hightailed it up to Pontiac. He followed. They arrived about the time Dean woke up in his coffin. The two must be connected. Bobby asks if Dean feels like himself, and says that no demon is going to set him free just because. He suggests they go see a psychic that he knows a few hours away, and the boys agree that it’s worth a shot. Bobby heads outside to make the call.
Once he’s gone, Sam pulls Dean’s necklace – the one Sam gave him for Christmas when they were kids – from around his neck and gives it back to Dean. I have feels. So does Sam. He asks Dean what Hell was like, and Dean says he doesn’t remember anything. Sam’s relieved. Cut to the bathroom. Dean stares at himself in the mirror, and we’re treated to more of the shrieky eyeball shots from the teaser to let us know that Dean’s a lying liar who lies and totally remembers Hell.
Mari: Because internalizing everything is what Deans do best!
K: Obvs.
Outside, Bobby says it’ll take them about four hours to reach the psychic before climbing into his car. Sam tosses Dean the keys to the Bromobile, and Dean says “Hey sweetheart. Did you miss me?” to his car. He climbs in and pats the steering wheel, then looks disgusted when he notices that Sam’s installed an iPod jack. “You were supposed to take care of her, not douche her up!” he snaps. Sam smirks that he thought it was his car.
Cut to them speeding through the night. Dean asks Sam how he escaped from Lilith. Sam says that Lilith couldn’t kill him. It was like he was immune to her powers. Dean looks taken aback. He asks where Ruby is, and Sam says she must be dead because she hasn’t turned up. Dean asks if Sam’s been using his creepy powers, and Sam insists that he hasn’t because Dean didn’t want him to. Dean says they should keep it that way.
The next morning, they turn up at the psychic’s house. Her name’s Pamela, and she’s got amazing eyebrows. She hugs Bobby with a laugh, and the boys introduce themselves. She makes appreciative “look at the pretty” noises and invites them all in. She says that she’s talked to a bunch of spirits and none of them have any idea how Dean’s back, so their next step is a séance. Bobby freaks because he doesn’t want her to summon it, and she says she’s just going to take a peek.
Inside, Pamela squats down to grab some supplies and Dean ogles her tramp stamp. She flirts with him suggestively, and the boys basically giggle like schoolgirls. Later, they sit around a table with candles burning in the centre. Pamela tells them to hold hands and says she needs to touch something the monster touched. Dean jumps and insists that the monster “didn’t touch me there“. Pamela grins and pulls her hand out from under the table. He pulls up his shirt sleeve to reveal the handprint, and it’s an unfortunate shot because you can see the glue along the edges.
Anyway, Pamela puts her hand over it, and they close their eyes and begin. She chants. Dean peeks. (M: So stealth.)
He notices that the TV has turned itself on and it’s all staticky. A high pitched humming starts up, and Pamela says “Castiel?“. (M: HEY! HEY HEY HEY!!) She says she doesn’t scare easy, and informs the boys that the mystery monster is telling her that its name is Castiel and that she should stop while she can. She keeps chanting, demanding to see Castiel’s face. The humming gets louder and the table starts shaking. Bobby suggests they stop, but Pamela refuses. Suddenly, the candle flames flare a foot high, and Pamela screams as her eyeballs burn up. She collapses on the floor. Bobby cradles her in his arms as she cries about how she can’t see. The boys look horrified. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, we’re at a diner. Sam checks in with Bobby and learns that Pamela’s okay despite being blind. Dean feels guilty, but suggests that they summon Castiel, now that they have a name. Sam says that’s the worst idea of ever and that they should track down the demons he followed to town. The waitress brings their meals, then sits down at the table with them. The boys give her bitchface, and she sasses “I’m sorry, I thought you were looking for us“. Her eyes flash black, and the boys look up to see that all the other diner patrons are demons too. One locks the door.
Sassy Waitress wants to know why Dean’s so special that he gets a free pass from Hell. “I like to think it’s because of my perky nipples,” he smirks. Ew, Dean. No. (M: Where did that even come from?) Sassy Waitress just stares him down, and he admits that he has no idea. She accuses him of lying, he insists he’s not. She threatens to drag him back to Hell, and Sam shifts defensively. Dean holds up a hand and Sam stills. Dean tells Sassy Waitress that if she were going to do that, she would have already. He says the demons are just as freaked out as they are, and whoever pulled him out is clearly far more powerful than your average demon so she probably doesn’t want to cross them.
She says she’s going to rip his lungs out, and Dean leans towards her. When she doesn’t make a move, he slaps her twice. She still doesn’t budge. Dean smirks and tells Sam that they’re leaving. Outside, Dean freaks a little about their close call. Sam says they should go back and kill the demons, but Dean disagrees, saying that there are too many demons and not enough demon killing knives. They should focus on finding whatever pulled him out of Hell.
Mari: Couldn’t they say some Latin from outside the window? No?
K: You would think. But no. Because contrivance.
Motel of the Week that night. Dean falls asleep on the sofa bed. Sam sneaks out of the room and drives off in the Bromobile. We cut back to Dean, and the TV and radio turn themselves on, doing the static thing again. Dean wakes up and reaches for his gun. He looks freaked when he sees that Sam’s gone, but heads towards the door. The humming noise returns and reaches ear piercing levels. Dean covers his ears as the mirror over the bed (classy, Sam) cracks. Dean falls to the floor, hands over his ears, as the windows explode. Followed by the mirror. Dean screams in pain as the noise gets louder. Bobby bursts in and yells Dean’s name. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Bobby drives through the night as Dean wipes the blood from his ears. He grabs his phone and rings Sam, who claims to be out getting a burger. Dean gets suspicious face and says that Bobby’s back and the two of them are going to get a beer. Bobby looks confused. They hang up, and the camera pans around to show us that Sam’s staking out the diner.
Bobby asks why Dean didn’t fill Sam in, and Dean says that he’d just try to stop them. He wants to summon whatever pulled him out of Hell. Bobby thinks this is the worst plan ever. Dean agrees, but says they don’t really have any other choice and at least they have Ruby’s knife and a boot full of weapons. Bobby says they should maybe just do nothing, but Dean says it’s after him and he’s not going to run. He wants to make a stand. Bobby looks worried and suggests they get Sam, but Dean’s all “LOL NOPE”.
Cut to Sam creeping into the diner. He sees a guy lying dead behind the counter and creeps towards him. When he flips the guy over, his eyes are gone. Just like Pamela’s. I’d forgotten that this episode had eyeball trauma in it. We’re off to a good start, season 4. Just then, Sassy Waitress leaps out of the shadows and attacks Sam. She knocks him to the ground and starts pummelling him. He throws her off and stands up. They back away from each other, and he sees that her eyes are gone too. Apparently she can fight while blind because she can smell his soul. UGH, SOULS AGAIN? NOOOOOOOO. Also, I wonder if that’s how Daredevil is so good at fighting…
Mari: What’s keeping this demon in this body? Did I miss anything about how they can’t just jump around?
K: These are…excellent points. Let’s break out our “sense this doesn’t any make” tag.
Aaaaaaaanywho. Sam asks what she saw, and Sassy Waitress sobs out “It’s the end. We’re dead. We’re all dead…” He asks again what she saw, and she tells him to go to Hell. Sam bitchfaces, then raises a hand and shuts his eyes in concentration. Whispery voices start up, and Sassy Waitress vomits out a handful of demon smoke. Then another and another. She puts her hands to her throat like she’s choking and sinks to her knees, the demon smoke floating around her. Sam squeezes his hand into a fist and she falls back dead, the black smoke sinking into the floor and leaving glowing ashes behind.
Sam sighs and opens his eyes as the zoomy cameraman gives him the Toby Treatment. He walks over and checks Sassy Waitress’ pulse, but she’s dead. Someone walks in from the kitchen and Sam’s head snaps around. It’s Genevieve, who tells him that he’s getting better all the time. He studies her for a second, then looks down at the body at his feet. “What the hell is going on around here, Ruby?” he says. Welcome, Ruby 2.0! Ruby has no idea, but says it’s definitely not a high level demon. It’s nothing she’s ever seen before.
Mari: AW MAN. THIS IS RUBY? I have to admit I didn’t see that coming and also I’m disappointed. That other actress was much preferable, I think. We’ll see.
K: I definitely prefer Katie Cassidy, but Genevieve has her moments.
Cut to a barn somewhere. Bobby’s spray painted the whole interior with religious symbols, traps and talismans. Meanwhile, Dean is setting up their stash of weapons. Bobby continues to mutter that it’s a bad idea. But he still walks over and starts a ritual in Latin. Back at the diner, Ruby wants to know if Sam’s going to tell Dean about what he’s doing. Sam says he needs more time, but Ruby insists that Dean will find out and if Sam’s not the one to tell him, he’ll be hella pissed. Sam says he’ll be pissed regardless.
Ruby suggests that she should take a step back for a while, because she knows Dean doesn’t like her and she doesn’t want to come between Sam and his brother. Sam says that he doesn’t know if using his powers is right but it feels good to be saving people. He says he wants to keep going.
Graffiti Barn. Dean and Bobby sit around waiting. Dean asks if Bobby did the ritual properly, and Bobby gives him bitchface. Just then, the roof panels start flapping like something out of Twister. Then the light bulbs explode. Then the door opens, and a figure in a trench coat walks in. It’s Misha Collins! Excuse me while I flail excitedly because I’ve been waiting for this for approximately forever. Bobby and Dean raise their shotguns. Castiel walks down the barn as the lights spark around him. Dean and Bobby shoot, but apart from a few holes in his trench coat, he keeps right on walking.
Mari: WOO IT’S MISHA COLLINS. I know nothing about his character but that was a pretty sweet entrance and he is foine.
K: Truth.
They exchange a terrified look, and grab alternate weapons. Dean walks towards Castiel and asks who he is. “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition,” Castiel replies. As opening lines go, that’s a pretty good one. Dean thanks him sarcastically, and slams Ruby’s knife into his chest. Castiel doesn’t flinch. He just pulls the knife out and drops it to the floor. Bobby creeps up behind him with a crowbar and swings. Without looking, Castiel grabs Bobby’s weapon and swings around. He presses two fingers to Bobby’s forehead, and Bobby sinks to the ground, unconscious. Castiel turns back to a horrified Dean, and says they need to talk. Alone. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Dean checks on Bobby. Castiel assures him that Bobby’s alive. Dean demands to know what Castiel is, and he replies “I’m an angel of the Lord“. Well hello, new direction. (M: RIGHT?) Dean tells Castiel to GTFO because angels don’t exist. Castiel sadly tells Dean that he has no faith. Lightning flashes, and in the flashes of light, we see shadowy wings unfolding behind Castiel. It’s hella badass. Dean looks shocked.
He asks why Castiel hurt Pamela, and Castiel says he warned her not to try and see his true form. That and his true voice can be overpowering to humans. He says that Dean knows this already, and Dean realises that the exploding glass at the petrol station and the motel was Castiel trying to say “Hey, friend. How’s things?”. Dean suggests that next time, he “lower the volume“, and Castiel looks sheepish. He says there are certain special people out there who can see and hear his true form. He assumed Dean would be one of them.
Dean snarkily asks if his current appearance is “holy tax accountant“, and Castiel admits that his body is a vessel. Dean’s grossed out by the idea of an angel possessing someone, even after Castiel assures him that the guy is a man of faith who prayed for this. That…is a weird thing to pray for, bro. Dean demands to know who he really is, and Castiel looks like a confused puppy, complete with head tilt. Dean asks why an angel would bother to rescue him from Hell, and Castiel assures him that good things do happen. Dean scoffs, and Castiel realises Dean doesn’t think he’s worthy of being saved. He relents: “Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you.” Fade to black.
I love this episode. Like, a lot. It’s an amazing season opener. We see Dean fight his way out of the grave. We see how dark Sam’s gotten in Dean’s absence. We see the impact Dean’s death had on Bobby. We get a shiny new Ruby (although I must admit, I prefer Ruby 1.0). And we get Castiel, who’s equal parts adorable puppy and angelic badass, and is clearly a sign of the show heading in a new and exciting direction. In short, it’s fabulous. 10/10 would recommend.
Mari: Dean was never going to stay dead so I have to say that I admire the show for getting his resurrection out of the way first thing and with a very no nonsense attitude. The question in this episode is never about if Dean will be back (DUH.) but why he’s back and who brought him out. I was expecting something to happen, something to make this a little more complicated than just digging out of a grave, but no. Dean claws out and finds his way to Bobby pretty quickly.
And then, we get the final scene of this episode, which was just super entertaining and an A+ introduction to a new character. Not only a new character, but as K said, a new direction. Clearly, Dean’s death had effects on everyone involved, which is a thing in and of itself. And then the show lays down an ANGEL, which opens up the mythology that much more.
I’m not a fan of Dean and Sam lying to each other because plot pints that could be solved by USING YOUR WORDS are my least favorite. Still, very good season opener and one that left me wanting to press play immediately on the next episode. (Which I did.)
Next time on Supernatural: Bobby and the boys are confronted by the spirits of people they failed to save in S04 E02 – Are You There, God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something with three kids who spends an embarrassing amount of time watching teen television dramas. There's a whole lot of Internet out there, and I plan on reading all of it before I die.
