Previously: The Doctor saved the Olympics. But Rose saved the Doctor.
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Army of Ghosts
Kirsti: We open in space, looking down at the earth. Rose voiceovers that this is where she was born and where she died. We zoom in on London and watch Past!Rose going through her boring daily life as she voiceovers about how nothing happened in her life before she met the Doctor. We get a shot of the first time she met Nine, and I’m pretty sure I can hear Mari’s “NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!” feels from here.
Marines: Pretty sure? Girl, that was definitely me.
K: Good to know my hearing is still accurate!
We cut to Ten in the TARDIS flailing around like his adorable idiot self as Rose fondly talks about how he can change his face and how he showed her the universe. We cut to them on some weird alien planet, watching beasties that look a lot like manta rays flying through the sky. “How long are you going to stay with me?” the Doctor asks. “Forever,” Rose replies. They smile at each other adorably.
K: YES.
Rose’s voiceover continues: everything changed with the Army of Ghosts. GOLD STAR, GIRL. It’s been a while since we’ve had one of those!
Everything changed with Torchwood and the war. We see Rose standing alone on a beach. “This is the story of how I died,” she voiceovers.
DOO WEE OOO!!!!
After the credits, the TARDIS vworp vworps into the playground on the Powell Estate. Rose and the Doctor head up to Jackie’s flat, and Jackie squeals and hugs them both, despite the Doctor’s protests. Rose pulls out a gift for Jackie – a little metal knick-knack that gets cold when it’s going to rain and hot when it’ll be sunny. Jackie says she’s got a surprise for Rose, too: her grandfather’s coming to visit and will arrive any minute. She dashes off to make tea, leaving Rose staring after her in confusion.
Rose tells the Doctor that her grandfather’s been dead for ten years. The Doctor looks concerned. Rose decides her mother’s gone insane. She starts to question Jackie, but Jackie says she knows he’s dead and Rose should ask her grandfather these questions herself. Just then, a faceless grey ghostly figure walks through the wall of the flat and stands next to Jackie in the kitchen. Rose and the Doctor stare at it in horror as Jackie makes small talk.
Cut to Rose and the Doctor running outside. The ghostly figures are everywhere, children playing with them happily. One walks through the Doctor, who makes a “NYARGH” noise. Jackie rushes up and says that the noon shift never lasts long, and they’ll fade in a moment. The Doctor is confused about why ghosts have shifts or shifts have ghosts. The figures start to fade, and we cut to a man in a lab coat pulling on a huge lever, then pan across to a business woman with excellent hair watching through a window that says TORCHWOOD INSTITUTE. I’m calling Torchwood shots, because obviously. (M: Let’s just get them out of the way early, so this whole episode isn’t an extended shot.) (K: I blame Supernatural. I just get used to calling a millions shots in every episode…) Back at the Powell Estate, the ghosts vanish. Rose and the Doctor head back inside in confusion.
Torchwood Institute. Boss Lady tells all her staff to give themselves a round of applause because of the level of ghost energy they achieved. They all clap politely. Also, one of her staff is Freema Agyeman. I SEE YOU THERE, FREEMA. I SEE YOU.
Back at the Powell Estate, the Doctor flips through TV channels, all of which are full of news stories, soap operas, talk shows and adverts about ghosts. He flips through some foreign language channels, and realises that it’s a world wide occurrence. Jackie says it happened about two months ago. Everyone freaked out at first, but then they realised that they’re lucky. Uh, okay. Sure.
Rose asks why she thinks it’s her father, and Jackie says that it just feels like him. And smells like him. She says Rose has to want it to be able to understand it. The Doctor says that wanting it to be her father isn’t making it true. It’s creating a psychic link and manipulating her. She tells him off for spoiling it, and points out that they’re human shaped, so they can’t be some kind of wibbly aliens. The Doctor looks thoughtful, and says that they’re pressing themselves into the earth, and that “a footprint doesn’t look like a boot“.
Torchwood. Boss Lady talks to Freema about something (I STILL SEE YOU THERE), then calls down to a man in a lab coat wearing an incredibly bright purple tie to ask for an update. He says there’s so little to do that he’s up to his millionth book of sudoku, which doesn’t seem like a smart thing to tell your boss. But whatever. He talks about how R&D developed some new doohickey that can detect super fancy things, and whatever they’re studying still gave them nothing. He makes adjustments to a bunch of instruments and the camera pans around to show us that the thing they’re studying is a giant floating ball. The special effects are even more terrible than usual.
Purple Tie says the giant ball gets into your head, staring at you. Boss Lady thanks him and ends the call. Purple Tie climbs a ladder towards the ball and holds out a hand towards it. But he can’t touch it – his hands starts shaking. He reluctantly turns and walks away. (M: I wonder how many times he tries that. In between sudoku.) (K: Watching a giant ball seems like a really boring job, so I’m going with “a lot”.) Upstairs, Freema IMs her cute colleague about how bored she is. They grin at each other and message back and forth for a minute before deciding to go for coffee. They give Boss Lady pathetic excuses, and once they’ve gone, she eyerolls to her other minions about how obvious Freema and Cute Colleague are. She’s not wrong.
Meanwhile, Cute Colleague is dragging Freema towards an out of bounds area for some office makeout times. She’s reluctant, but he insists it’ll be totally fine because they’re just building new office space. He heads inside, and she nearly gets busted by some maintenance guys. Once they’ve gone, she calls out to Cute Colleague and tells him she’s going back to work. When there’s no answer, she heads inside, calling out to him. There’s still no answer, so she heads deeper. She spots a shadowy figure through the plastic sheeting and heads towards it, saying that she’s looking for her friend. But it’s a cyberman. Freema screams.
Mari: And so does everyone who is not a fan of Cybermen. THEY’RE BACK.
K: Yay…
Cut to the TARDIS. Rose tells the Doctor that a ghost has been elected MP, and asks what he’s going to do. He emerges from underneath the console wearing a backpack and carrying what looks like a miniature bull horn/megaphone/thing. “Who you gonna call?” he smirks. “GHOSTBUSTERS!” Rose yells.
The Doctor runs back inside the TARDIS with Rose by his side. They hook up some wires to the console, and the Doctor tells Rose what to do so they can identify the ghosts’ point of origin. Jackie wanders in behind them and shuts the door.
Torchwood. Freema and Cute Colleague walk back into the lab, giving their apologies for their lateness. Boss Lady tells the staff to get ready for the next shift. As a labcoat wearing man pulls the big lever again, the zoomy cameraman zooms in on Freeman and Cute Colleague’s Bluetooth earpieces, which are flashing blue.
Powell Estate. Rose follows the Doctor’s orders at the console while he rushes around outside powering things up. Jackie decides that this is a great time for the Slightly Judgey Mother chat, and says that Rose has changed. She acts like the Doctor now, and when Jackie’s dead, Rose won’t have any reason to ever come home, to settle down. Rose says she’ll keep on travelling with the Doctor, because he can never settle down. Jackie says sadly that Rose will keep on changing, and in fifty years, she’ll be a stranger walking through planets a million miles away. She won’t be Rose Tyler any more. Rose looks feelsy.
Mari: I mean, I guess I get the mother chat but not really because this would be true of most people. In fifty years, I hope I’m not the same person I am now, you know? It doesn’t follow that change is bad, though I can see why to Jackie, it would be scary.
K: True. On both counts.
The Doctor calls out that they’re ready to go, and Rose turns back to the console and starts yelling out numbers. Jackie looks sad. Torchwood. The machine powers up, and Boss Lady announces that they’re online. We zoom in on Freema and her flashing Bluetooth. The ghosts appear, and the Doctor’s captured one in his little triangle of machinery, which immediately creates a Charmed-esque force field. Rose and Jackie watch on a screen inside as the Doctor puts on a pair of cheap 3D glasses and adjusts some settings. A machine starts beeping.
Mari: David Tennant makes cheap 3D glasses look amazing and that seems fundamentally unfair.
K: That jerk.
Back at Torchwood, an alarm goes off, and they realise that someone’s tracking the signal. The ghost lashes out at the Doctor’s force field. An Even Cuter Colleague tracks the source of the alarm, and Boss Lady tells them to power down. The labcoat wearing techs pull the big levers again, and the Doctor’s trapped ghost vanishes. He rushes around grabbing his equipment. Cuter Colleague pinpoints the Doctor’s signal to the Powell Estate. He hacks into the CCTV and Boss Lady flails a little when she sees the TARDIS.
The Doctor yanks a lever, yelling “Allons-y!” and the TARDIS starts to vworp vworp, but then lurches sideways. Boss Lady flails that he’s coming, and rushes off. Freema looks shifty. Purple Tie rushes over to the giant ball. “Now we’ve got you,” he says. Back on the TARDIS, the Doctor word vomits about how he should say “allons-y” more often and possibly find someone named Alonso to say it to.
Mari: It’s super charming.
K: The TARDIS appears in a Torchwood basement, and is promptly surrounded by troops. The Doctor goes to head outside, and tells Rose to stay put and look after Jackie. She’s all “Uh, NO”, and blocks the door because there are men with guns outside. He lifts her out of the way, and walks outside, leaving the door ajar. Rose and Jackie watch anxiously as he raises his hands. Boss Lady rushes in and fangirl flails, clapping her hands. All the troops drop their weapons to clap politely too. It’s a little weird. The Doctor agrees. He introduces himself, and gets another round of applause.
Boss Lady says that their records indicate he has a companion, and that there’s no point hiding anything from them. The Doctor looks grossed out, then reaches inside the TARDIS and yanks Jackie out. He calls her Rose, and explains that she’s a bit old and useless, and offers her to them as a tea lady. Jackie glares at him, which is legit. (M: Her tea once helped you a pinch, bro!) Boss Lady leads them into the depths of the building as Rose watches on the monitors in the TARDIS.
Boss Lady says it was only a matter of time before the Doctor found them, and officially welcomes him to Torchwood. She leads them into a huge warehouse full of alien tech. It’s kind of like The Initiative crossed with the warehouse from the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. She talks about how they shot down an alien ship and destroyed the Sycorax at Christmas. She looks incredibly pleased with herself. Jackie gets “WTF” face. Boss Lady says that the motto of Torchwood is “if it’s alien, it’s ours“. They’ll shoot it down, take their stuff and use it to defend the British Empire. Jackie points out that there isn’t a British Empire, and Boss Lady smirks that there will be.
She pulls out a weapon and asks the Doctor to identify it. He says it’s a particle gun and that they can’t possibly have it because it’s years ahead of schedule. She has zero fucks to give. She shows off some more alien tech, including giant magnets that cancel out the weight of anything and let a person life an Imperial ton. Jackie spots the TARDIS being driven past on a truck, and Boss Lady’s all “Yeah, ours now”. The Doctor says she’ll never get inside, and she smirks. The Doctor spots Rose peeping out of the door and gives her a little nod. She stays hidden.
Inside the TARDIS, Rose finds the Doctor’s coat and pulls the psychic paper from his pocket with a grin. Elsewhere, Freema sends an IM to Cuter Colleague asking if he wants to see something cool. He looks at her in confusion, but follows her anyway. Boss Lady and some troops march the Doctor and Jackie down a corridor. The Doctor says he’s never heard of Torchwood, and Boss Lady says that’s because he’s the enemy. Queen Victoria declared him an enemy of the crown after the werewolf thing at Torchwood House, so he’s now a prisoner. But, you know, a prisoner that’s super useful in regards to finding out what stuff is. (M: Rude.)
She leads them into the giant ball lab and asks what he thinks of it. Purple Tie introduces himself, but the Doctor just stares at the giant ball. Jackie says it feels weird. Boss Lady says it makes you feel like you should run away. The Doctor puts on his 3D glasses and stares up at it. Purple Tie informs everyone that their instruments say the giant ball doesn’t exist. The Doctor informs them that it’s a Void Ship, designed to exist outside time and space, to come through the space between universes that might just be Hell. Purple Tie wants to know why you’d build something that could do that, and the Doctor says it’s because you can stay inside untouched by anything for an eternity.
Purple Tie wants to know how they get inside, and the Doctor says they don’t. They throw it back into the Void. He asks how it got there, and Boss Lady says it just appeared and the ghosts came with it. He demands that they show him. Elsewhere, Freema leads Cuter Colleague into the restricted area. He’s reluctant, but she urges him on. There’s a buzz saw-y sound and a scream.
Mari: For as MEH as I feel about Cybermen, their use of human bodies continues to be pretty damn creepy.
K: SO CREEPY.
Rose sneaks out of the TARDIS and grabs a conveniently located lab coat. She shrugs it on, then confidently walks through the warehouse. Someone rushes through and she follows. Freema returns to her desk as Boss Lady leads the Doctor into the office. She tells him that the giant ball came through the plain white wall at the end of the room, though it’s not active now. He runs a hand over the wall thoughtfully, and asks how they found it. She tells him they’ve been getting warning signs for years. The spot was 600 feet up, so they built a skyscraper to reach it.
Jackie looks out the window and notes that they’re at Canary Wharf. The Doctor gets pissy, saying that they’ve been poking at the fabric of reality right in the heart of London. What is your face, sir?!
K: Only possible explanation.
Boss Lady tells him that it’s a massive source of energy and if Britain can harness that, they’ll be independent. She says the next shift is about to start, and then he’ll see. The Doctor tells her to cancel it, but she’s all “LOL NOPE”. She says he’s just what their files said he’d be, lording his intelligence over them. He offers to show her what he’s talking about. He heads over to a glass wall, and sonics it. The glass cracks, representing the giant ball punching through. The cracks that surround the original hole are cracks in the surface of the universe that allow other things to bleed in from the Void – the ghosts. If you get too many ghosts? He taps the glass, and it shatters completely, falling to the ground. Boss Lady says that they’ll need to be more careful.
She orders her staff to their stations for the next ghost shift. He begs her not to do it, but she insists they’re in total control and can close the breach whenever they want. The Doctor eyerolls and sassily pulls up a chair to watch the show. Jackie stands next to him, equally sassy. Freema counts down to the next shift. The Doctor gives Boss Lady crazy eyes. With one second to go, she demands that Freema stop the shift. She tells the Doctor that they’ll probably restart the program once he’s spilled the beans, and leads him away, Jackie trailing behind.
Freema, Cute Colleague and Cuter Colleague stare at the blank wall, then start typing furiously. Elsewhere, Rose uses the psychic paper on an ID scanner and ends up in the giant ball lab. She stares up at it in horror. Purple Tie asks who she is, and she says she’s from personnel, just checking up on the prisoner. He asks for her ID, and she reluctantly hands over the psychic paper. He stares at it for a second, then declares her to be a fake because everyone at Torchwood has basic psychic training and isn’t fooled by psychic paper.
Purple Tie calls for security, and demands that his colleague check the door locks. “Doing it now, sir,” he says. Rose looks up in surprise at a familiar voice. It’s Mickey!!!!!! (M: AHH! I FORGOT ABOUT THIS.) He puts a finger to his lips with a grin. Purple Tie tells Rose to take a seat. Up in Boss Lady’s office, the Doctor is lounging in a chair, his feet on her desk as she questions him. She gets a call from Purple Tie about Rose, and shows the Doctor her laptop screen, featuring a feed of Rose and Purple Tie. He claims not to know her, and Boss Lady threatens to kill her. The Doctor admits that it’s Rose, and that Jackie’s actually her mother. Jackie insists that she was kidnapped, and the Doctor sasses “Please, when Torchwood comes to write my complete history, don’t tell people I travelled through time and space with her mother…”
Down in the giant ball room, Purple Tie demands answers about why the ghost shift is starting. There’s no answer. Then there’s a rumble, and he realises the giant ball is active. He rushes towards it, Rose and Mickey following. Back upstairs, the Doctor realises it’s the Bluetooth earpieces that are controlling Freema and the others. He offers his apologies, then sonics Freema’s earpiece. All three of them scream and slump to their desks. Jackie accuses him of killing them, but he says they’ve were dead already.
Boss Lady’s shocked because the earpieces are standard. She pulls one from Freema’s ear, and a rope of brain tissue comes with it. Urgh. She drops it in disgust. The Doctor tries to stop the ghost shift, but it’s at 90% already. He pulls out his sonic screwdriver and says he can trace the source. He rushes off, telling Jackie to stay put. As they run off, the zoomy cameraman zooms in on a computer screen. On it, Purple Tie is yelling for help because the giant ball is active.
Back in the giant ball lab, he yells for help because the sphere suddenly has a ton of readings. There’s a thunk and Purple Tie says the door locks have sealed automatically and they’re trapped. He rushes over to the door. Mickey confidently tells Rose that they’ve beaten “them” before and they can do it again. That’s why he’s here. Rose asks what they’re up against, and Mickey replies “What do you think?“. The giant ball shakes some more and Mickey grins.
The Doctor traces the signal with his sonic. Boss Lady grabs some troops to accompany them. In the office, some lab techs are fighting to stop the levers moving without success. Jackie looks panicky. The Doctor heads into the restricted area, which Boss Lady says is just renovations. She and the troops follow. Inside, the sonic beeps more frequently. The Doctor says the universe is colliding with another, and he knows which one. A bunch of cybermen appear, and the Doctor refers to them as “the advanced guard“. The cybermen shred through the plastic and attack. The troops shoot unsuccessfully as the Doctor and Boss Lady try to run.
Mickey tells Rose that the cybermen vanished from his world, having found a way through to this one. He found a way too. Rose is shocked because the Doctor said that was impossible. “Yeah, it’s not the first time he’s been wrong…” Mickey says coolly. Rose asks what’s in the giant ball, and Mickey says no one knows, but they’ll defeat it. They grin at each other, but Mickey’s focused on the job. I love this new, confident Mickey. He’s a total badass.
M: Because everyone changes.
K: EXACTLY. Take that, Jackie Tyler.
Cybermen escort the Doctor and Boss Lady back to the office, and order that the ghost shift be increased to 100%. The levers start moving again, and Jackie panics some more. The wall starts glowing. “Here come the ghosts,” the Doctor says. All over the world, ghosts start pouring through in bigger numbers than ever before. In the office, cybermen start marching out of the Void.
Giant ball lab. Purple Tie calls for help without success. The giant ball thumps some more, then opens. “Here we go…” Mickey says. Upstairs, Jackie asks what the connection is between the cybermen and the ghosts. The Doctor eyerolls a little and says that the cybermen ARE the ghosts. Millions of them, all over the planet. The cybermen break through in the warehouse, on the Powell Estate, and everywhere.
Chaos ensues as people scream and die. Boss Lady says the cybermen have invaded, but the Doctor says it’s not an invasion. It’s a victory.
Downstairs, Mickey says he knows what’s in the giant ball and he’s ready for it. He pulls out a huge gun, and Purple Tie asks “Samuel” what he’s doing. “The name’s Mickey. Mickey Smith. Defending the earth,” Mickey answers, and it’s brilliant. A little cheesy, but brilliant. He cocks the gun as the giant ball opens further.
The Doctor asks how the cybermen built the giant ball, because it’s not within their capabilities. A cyberman conveniently informs him that they didn’t built it, they just followed it through the Void. They have no idea where it came from. Jackie panics that Rose is down there. Back in the basement, four Daleks come flying out of the giant ball and land in front of Rose, Mickey and Purple Tie, screaming “EXTERMINATE!” as Daleks are wont to do.
TO BE CONTINUED.
It’s hard to talk about this episode without having seen the second part. But I do remember that when I first watched it, I was on tenterhooks the entire time. I mean, how could you not be after Rose told us at the very beginning that this is how she dies?? I love that Jackie plays a more active role, that we see how much being left behind has affected her, and I LOVE that Mickey’s back. Everything else can be dealt with next time…
Next time on Doctor Who: Everyone cries for approximately a thousand years, for it’s season finale time in S02 E13 – Doomsday.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
