Dawson’s Creek S03 E16 – Pacey is no Duckie.

Previously: Pacey fights for Joey’s right to paint Chinese characters on the walls of Capeside High.
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To Green, With Love

Democracy Diva: PTA meeting. A parent accuses the school board of sentencing their kid to death, which is quite extreme, and also not at all what is going on here. The board has urged Principal Green to reconsider his decision to expel Douchey Jock. Mr. Douchey Jock Sr. is all, “my kid didn’t do anything wrong,” but Joey stands up to speak her mind about how this has all been blown out of proportion. The school board president basically tells her to sit down and shut up. DJ Sr. says that Principal Green’s draconian methods of punishment are more appropriate for an “urban war zone” than civilized community. You see, because Principal Green is black, DJ Sr. can’t just call it a war zone. It has to be “urban,” because racism. This dude is the grossest. Joey agrees, and so does one member of the school board, who tells DJ Sr. that his son’s issues are a result of his own shitty parenting.

When Joey defends Principal Green, DJ Sr. basically she has no family values, and Dawson jumps to her defense. School Board President says the principal has until Friday at 3 to reduce Douchey Jock’s sentence, or he’ll be asked to resign. The crowd cheers, because I guess other people care about this kid getting suspended? For some reason?

Kirsti: It’s because Capeside is the whitest town on the planet. That’s literally all I’ve got. 

Diva: Anyway, Joey and Pacey and Dawson peace the fuck out.

HEY YEAH YEAH YEAH.

Gail watches a news reporter do her thing outside the PTA meeting – which is apparently local news-worthy, for some reason – and has #formerjobfeels. She greets Sherry, the field reporter who Gail hired as an intern way back when. So, it’s an awkward reunion, especially since Sherry insists on emphasizing that she’s the FUTURE of journalism, while Gail is the past. As in, she’s old. Gail asks why there’s a story here at this PTA meeting, because she reads Snark Squad and understands that this plot line makes no sense, and Sherry’s like, because a rich kid got punished! Moral of this story: Sherry is young and sucks, and Gail misses her job.

Joey and Pacey discuss everyone’s refusal to listen to her during the meeting. Teens don’t participate in systems that don’t listen to them, etc. But someone has to rally the troops, and Pacey thinks it should be Joey.

K: But most importantly, THEY’RE WEARING HATS AND GLOVES. WE HAVE SEASONS, PEOPLE. SEASONS!!!

Diva: I too was thrilled by the weather-appropriate clothing items! It’s a miracle.

Cut to Joey, on the phone with that college boy I forgot about. He says the same thing as Pacey, but Bessie interrupts the call. The news report is on and it shows Joey’s defaced mural and talks about how it intended to bring unity. That’s some pretty great press for our little budding artist. We see Principal Green and his daughter, Kendra the Vampire Slayer, reacting to this news story. They also mention that Pacey was let off with just community service, and mention Joey by name, misconstruing her comments to make it seem like she’s complaining about Principal Green’s actions, not the actions of the school board. College Boy tells her to stand up and refuse to be ignored.

K: What a surprise, the media picking and choosing what they present to blow things out of proportion.

Diva: Capeside High, where Joey is hanging up fliers to save Principal Green. Pacey is happy because he thinks he took her advice, which was the same as College Boy’s. He lends his assistance as a leader of challenging gender stereotypes and otherwise defying The Man. Let’s take a moment to appreciate this reference to Braveheart Pacey!

College Boy shows up to help and Joey introduces Pacey to him. Also, his name is apparently AJ. Whatever. Outside the school, there’s a protest and cameras and the whole deal while Principal Green is just trying to get to his goddamn job.

Gail thanks Dawson for helping out with the opening of her new restaurant. He says that Joey’s meeting to save the principal was a huge success and Dawson says in this smug, self-satisfied way that Joey is living up to the potential that HE always knew she had. He says it with this face, just so you know he’s a tremendodouche:

K: Meanwhile, I can’t get over the way that his hair kind of looks like a giant blonde spider is perched on top of his head…

Diva: Welp, I’ll never be able to un-see that. Thanks for the nightmares, Kirsti.

Gail takes the opportunity to criticize Sherry for misrepresenting Joey’s story. Hilariously, she thinks this is an “important story” to tell and that Sherry’s ruining it. Even though in reality, there’s no story here at all. Gail admits that she misses her old job, but she has the restaurant now. Dawson says maybe Gail should try to tell the real story. All she needs is a camera and a PA, and she has that in the form of Dawson. Gail says the station probably wouldn’t run it even if they did a great job, but Dawson doesn’t care. He’s doing this for Gail, Principal Green, and Joey.

K: And himself. Because he’s incapable of not making everything about himself. 

Diva: Pacey makes awkward chat with AJ, who talks about how great Joey is while Gail and Dawson get ready to start filming. Sherry marches over and asks wtf Gail is up to. She also asks Joey for a follow-up interview, to which Joey snarks, “in your frosted blonde dreams, Barbie.” I don’t believe in blonde discrimination because, you know, Sweeney would get mad at me, but I still laughed at this burn. (K: A+. And same.)

The superintendent wants to see Joey. Pacey clarifies for the audience that the superintendent is Bad and going to threaten our dear Joey. He doesn’t think she should go see him, but AJ does. And she listens to AJ, which is sure to get Pacey pretty butthurt.

Joey enters the office and Evil Superintendent is all, “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!” like he’s Reese Witherspoon during a DUI stop. He blames Joey for the mess outside and she’s all, well, if parents can protest, so can students. She doesn’t think anyone should force Principal Green to change his punishment. Evil Superintendent is all, I’m not threatening him, and also I’m not listening to you because you only represent a dozen hippies, or whatever. Joey insists there are a ton of students on her side, and she’ll show him a petition with 300 signatures on it. She’s lying her ass off, but continues about a rally tomorrow. She insists their voice will be heard, but Evil Superintendent is just like:

K: Joey, sweetie, don’t make shit up. It’s a terrible plan. Thank God Pacey’s on hand to sort out your messes.

Diva: For real.

Gail and Dawson show up at Principal Green’s house to interview him. Kendra said he would do it without asking him first, but he’s not actually down for this at all. He says he doesn’t have anything to prove, but his daughter invokes Dr. King and thinks this is something worth fighting for. Principal Green still declines, not wanting his reaction to be construed as extremist again.

Save Green HQ. Pacey can’t believe Joey lied about the 300 signatures, but AJ insists she had to in order to get Evil Superintendent to listen to her. She agrees and asks how they’re getting people to the rally. Jen says Pacey thought of the internet (not like, invented it, just thought of using it to promote the rally, although Pacey is so wonderful he may as well have invented the internet) (K: TRUTH) and Jack is putting something out on a website about it, while Andie spreads the news the old-fashioned way. We see her on the phone threatening not to help people with the yearbook unless they show up to the rally, because Andie is awesome. Pacey convinced a print shop owner to print a bunch of flyers for free. Joey gives them the basic politician’s thank-you speech to her campaign staffers. Pacey watches sadly as she thanks AJ for convincing her to do this and helping her so much. They kiss, and Pacey’s feels leak out of his chest. Jen notices this, because she’s cool like that.

K: It’s doubly sad because he was such a proud little puppy when she started making her speech. Also, my notes say “JEN KNOWS OH MY GOD”.

Diva: Of COURSE Jen knows. She is smart as fuck, excepting that Henry-shaped blind spot of hers.

Bessie says she got a phone call that her business will suffer if she keeps using her B&B as a place for Joey to stir up trouble against the system. Um, it’s been like ONE DAY. How does anyone even know they’re there? And, as I continue to ask at every step along this plot-hole-ridden road, WHY DO THEY CARE?

After the break, Joey insists it was just a prank, but Bessie’s concerned about antagonizing the townsfolk. Joey asks if she’s forbidden from speaking her mind, but Bodie says she needs to be realistic. Joey believe she’s in the right, and the parents are wrong, and explains that there’s more than that at stake. Bessie doesn’t understand, but Bodie realizes what Joey means – that the parents wouldn’t be fighting Principal Green so hard if he were white, or threatening Joey’s family over it.

K: Thank God Bodie’s back or we’d have to struggle bus our way through 16 year old white kids trying to explain racist bullshit. And even Intern Pacey ain’t worth that. 

Diva: YUP.

Bessie sarcastically tells her sister to go change the world, and AJ walks in to say that he has to leave. He feels responsible for jeopardizing her family business, and also has papers to grade. He tells her that she doesn’t need him, because she has a lot of good people on her team. Even Pacey.

Outside, in the dark, Pacey angrily staples fliers into lampposts. Jen tells him to talk about his goddamn Joey feels already instead of doing the high school boy thing. He very reluctantly opens up, on a purely theoretical basis, about falling for the worst person he could ever fall for. Jen says he should do something about it. He says she’s not interested in him – because he’s Duckie, from Pretty in Pink. Duckie is amazing, and so is Pacey.

Jen agrees, and also mentions the greatest lip-syncing scene in film history, but says he should stand by her, whether she’s going to reject him or not.

K: I have two notes regarding this scene: 1. JEN IS THE BEST WHY ARE WE WASTING HER AWESOMENESS ON THAT STUPID HENRY PLOT? And 2. My sweet adorable Pacey, you are in NO WAY a Duckie. (Confession: I hate Pretty in Pink. She turns two vaguely okay prom dresses into the ugliest prom dress in history and every guy in it is the opposite of attractive.)

Diva: I love Pretty in Pink, but your criticisms are COMPLETELY valid. Pacey is way too cute and not nearly weird enough to be a Duckie, but Duckie lip-syncing Try a Little Tenderness is one of my favorite scenes in any movie, ever.

Dawson asks his mother why they’re interviewing the Evil Superintendent when Principal Green won’t talk. Gail refuses to pick and choose whose perspectives she wants to tell, because journalistic integrity and things. Inside his office, Evil Superintendent is basically like, these dumbass kids will follow this dumbass principal off a cliff. Gail says it’s as extreme to fire Green as it was to expel that kid. He says it’s best for the community, which is who he serves – and not necessarily the students. Gail asks him to read something, declaring to protect and serve each student, not the community at large. Surprise – that’s from the contract he signed when he was hired as the Evil Superintendent. Gail is basically like, this is who your duties are to, and you’re in breach of contract, motherfucker. Evil Superintendent storms out, and Dawson looks proud of his admittedly awesome mom.

K: My notes say “Gail brought the smackdown!”. I’m not entirely sure what that means, in hindsight, but yes. That. 

Diva: Kendra asks Principal Green to come to the rally with her, but he refuses. He knows he did the right thing, and he doesn’t want to leave Capeside, but he refuses to show his anger. She says his students support him, and they need to know he supports them too.

Rally time. Jen tells Joey what a great job Pacey did spreading word. At that moment, he takes the stage and introduces Joey to the crowd. She talks about why she’s doing this. It’s not about revenge – it’s because people think Principal Green is an outsider, when he’s really always been on their side. He knows them, and their talents, and he has always supported their creativity and their ambitions. Joey brought them here to ask if Principal Green made their lives better. They’re silent at first, but then they realize that they have all been personally victimized by Regina George.

Andie is of course the first one to step up and talk about how he helped her. I’m actually impressed that the show did a great job of having Principal Green do something good for a lot of these students, so that this part of the insane plotline actually makes a lot of sense. We hear from a bunch of nobodies we’ve never met, plus Kendra, who hears about how great her fellow students are when she’s home with her dad, who talks about them constantly. Principal Green walks up behind his daughter and then takes Joey’s place at the podium.

Green explains why he came – because Kendra told him his students were fighting for him. He thanks them, but since there is no compromise to be found here, he’s leaving. The students are horrified, but he thanks them for motivating him and harnessing their power to change the system. We close-up on everyone’s personal feels-face as they react to Green’s speech.

K: I had mixed feelings about this scene. Because in one way, it was great. But in other ways, it felt like it took a black guy’s story and made it about white kids. Which, nope. So…yeah. IDK IDK.

Diva: Agreed, but since this show is always about white kids and their very white problems, that wasn’t exactly a surprise. And, again, it saved us from hearing privileged teens speechify about race using absurdly big words. Still, definitely a bullshitty white savior type message at the end.

After the not-break, Jen congratulates Pacey on rallying to Joey’s side in a decidedly Duckie-esque fashion. Joey didn’t even bother thanking him, but Jen is sure she will. Zoomy cameraman zooms in on Joey, and Pacey smiles.

Joey and Bodie wonder if Bessie will let them in the house. But before they can leave, they see Bessie and the baby. Bessie insists it was all the nonverbal infant’s idea, because he was so proud of his aunt Joey, he had to see her speech. B gives a sweet and sister-feelsy speech about her sister’s awesome qualities, and an emboldened Joey decides to attempt the stick-shift-drive home.

Joey stops by Principal Green’s office as he packs up. She kind of wants him to change his mind and stay at Capeside. She knows he’s doing the right thing, but she feels like she failed because she couldn’t stop the system. She gets teary and apologizes for failing him, but of course the awesome Principal Green tells her that this is the biggest success of his career, what she did for him. He leaves his office for the last time, and of course students line the hallways and applaud him. Kendra joins him and they walk out of Capeside High together.

Some cheesy song about teaching and growing gardens plays, and it’s just too much. This song is awful.

K: I mean, essentially the whole soundtrack to this show is awful. But yes. Still, the guard of honour gave me feels. 

Diva: Same, but this song felt particularly awful, and kind of ruined the honor-guard-feels I was having for this awesome principal who only occasionally outsources his job to teenagers.

Gail’s on the phone and promises someone she’ll be there in an hour. The network is running her story, of course, and offered her more work. She’s doing this story, but on the option for future work, she said she’d get back to them in 20 years when she’s retired from the restaurant business. She realizes she wanted to be able to reject them and leave on her own terms. She thanks Dawson for being the kind of quiet hero who never asks for anything in return, and I laugh for approximately EVER. FOR ALL ETERNITY I AM LAUGHING AT THIS, GAIL.

K: Yup. With a side of rage.

Diva: And now, for a scene brought to you by every time I’ve ever searched for a gif for this show on Tumblr: Pacey brings Joey to some brick wall. He says all of this started with a girl, a wall, and a paintbrush. She scoffs at Pacey buying her a paintbrush. But he clarifies that he bought her a wall. Well, rented it, for a hundred bucks. She has this huge perplexed smile on her face as she says she’ll need his help, but he says she’s on her own and hands her a can of paint.

She calls this outrageous and says he challenges her in a way no one else thinks of. She thanks him sincerely and he smiles so cutely and just says, “it’s about time,” and walks away. More gifs, because you don’t even understand HOW MANY THERE ARE:

K: “You bought me a wall?” is one of the lines that’s always stuck with me from this show. Because of reasons. And to quote from my notes one final time? “OH GOD GRAND GESTURE EXCUSE ME WHILE I SWOON. HEART EYES 5EVA.” Which basically sums up everything. 

Diva: Yes this 5eva and eva.

As we zoom out, that fucking gardening and teaching song plays again. COME ON, SHOW. I WAS ALMOST LIKING YOU FOR A SECOND.

 

Next time on Dawson’s Creek: Dawson’s mom’s new job is a thing we’re apparently supposed to care about in S03 E17 – Cinderella Story.