Previously: Road trip to Mexico sans Marissa in an alley.
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The Cold Turkey
Katie: Orange County is pretty! That’s how we open before settling in on the Cohen home, where Kirsten exposits that Ryan hasn’t spoken to them in days. Sandy says he’s not worried about Ryan not talking to the two of them, but he is concerned that Ryan’s still ignoring Seth.
Meanwhile, Ryan’s on the phone with Julie, who’s pouting about Sandy and Kirsten uninviting her from Thanksgiving. Kirsten and Sandy are discussing this as well, and Sandy says sending their kids on a murder mission knocks you off the guest list. Which makes sense, but is still surprising considering that they’ve forgiven her for trying to set up Ryan for attempted murder last season, not to mention everything else Julie has done. (M: Good point. Even I had forgotten about the attempted murder thing…)
Seth is leaving Summer another voicemail, which she’s ignoring as she looks at pictures of herself with Marissa.
Sandy is telling Kirsten, as they walk into the kitchen, that Thanksgiving will turn out all right. Seth and Ryan walk in as well, and everybody “Hey’s” and it’s super awkward. As they’re all staring at the coffee maker, Sandy’s phone rings and he steps out of the room to take the call. Kirsten finally tells Seth and Ryan that enough is enough and orders them to go to the grocery store together so that they can all cook dinner together later. Sandy comes back in and says he has to go to the office for a few hours. As everyone’s walking out of the kitchen, Sandy stops Ryan and asks if he’s okay and if he can put his anger aside for the day. Ryan says he’s not angry, he just wishes Volchok was dead. After Ryan walks away, Sandy picks up the phone and calls someone. We see that on the other end of the phone is…Volchok! Dun dun dun…
Californiaaaaaa…here we COOOOOOME!!!!
Volchok is on the beach when Sandy drives up. Volchok gets into the car and thanks Sandy for coming, saying he didn’t know where else to go. Sandy reminds him that he’s not his friend, he’s his lawyer, and the less Volchok talks, the better. (He does not, however, tell him to smile more, because Sandy Cohen is not Aaron Burr.)
Marines: Sandy Cohen stands for things!
Katie: Not to mention he’s actively trying to PREVENT what is, essentially, a modern-day duel to the death.
Back at the Cohen home, Seth walks into his room with a bagel. Taylor pops her head out from underneath Seth’s bed and complains that it’s not what she asked for. Seth reminds her that he said she could hide out in his room for a couple of days but not that there would be room service. Taylor’s all you’ll-miss-me-when-I’m-gone, but Seth reminds her that Summer’s coming to visit and they’ll be needing some alone time. Taylor apologizes but says something about Seth and Summer’s relationship hanging by a thread, and when Seth tells her he didn’t say that, she realizes she’s said too much. She assures Seth that Summer is still the same girl and their relationship will be fine.
Summer, meanwhile, is on the phone with her dad saying that she doesn’t think she’s coming after all. She’s in the airport, so it’s a little late to be changing her mind about this. She goes on about how she doesn’t think she can support a holiday where turkeys are slaughtered to make Americans even fatter. Her dad tries to convince her to come, but is distracted and puts the phone aside when he hears a dog barking. He goes into Kaitlin’s room, where Kaitlin is sitting with a really weird-looking little dog she says she found on the pier. Neil is not pleased, especially when he finds out that the dog has destroyed his $700 shoes, and tells her to get the dog out. Kaitlin pointedly asks him how his conference went, her eyes telling him that she knows about him meeting up with his ex, and he leaves the room. Then he turns back to the phone conversation with Summer, who has presumably heard the whole thing. She sighs that her dad must need her there and says she will be coming after all.
Julie is on the phone with her private investigator but hangs up when Neil walks in. Neil says he’s been trying to talk to her since he got back and suggests they go for a walk on the beach, sans cell phones. Julie says no because she has to cook. Neil is confused because, since they haven’t talked, he thinks they’re still going to the Cohens. Julie makes some excuse about how she doesn’t want to deal with Kirsten’s dry turkey and Sandy’s long, boring speeches about the importance of family. Although she’s bullshitting, I have a feeling that both of those things are actually true. Eventually, she convinces Neil that she has to go food shopping, and when he tells her that they still need to talk, she says it can wait until after the holidays.
In the grocery store, Seth and Ryan are pushing a cart around, and Ryan is giving Seth one-word answers to all his questions. Then they run right into Julie, which… isn’t as contrivance-brings-people-together as it would be in another episode, since it is Thanksgiving and people do tend to go to the supermarket then. (M: That’s very fair of you.) Seth makes some sarcastic remarks about Mexico to her and Julie tells him to save it since she already got the lecture from Sandy. She asks Seth if she could have a word with Ryan, and as Seth walks away, Julie and Ryan grab cheese samples from a woman giving them out at a table. Julie tells Ryan that her P.I. should be able to give them Volchok’s location by Monday. Then they both turn around and thank the cheese lady and it’s kind of weird—like, the cheese lady isn’t the one you want to hide this conversation from. Anyone who overheard it would have had no idea what they were talking about so… I don’t know. Weird blocking choice.
Kirsten is leaving Sandy a voicemail when she walks into the kitchen and finds Taylor there stealing a bite of stuffing. She’s quite confused that Taylor is in her house rather than France. Taylor tries to make a quick exit, but Kirsten stops her. Instead of freaking out that a friend of her kids has been living in their house and stealing their food without her knowing, as most people would, she very calmly says, “When a kid is in my kitchen stealing stuffing, that’s usually a sign that something’s wrong.” How very true. Taylor says what she’s going through is too private, but she caves when Kirsten offers her a plate of food. Again, very calmly. I guess after all the drama that’s gone on with them lately, Taylor hiding out in the house is barely a blip on the radar.
Back in the grocery store, Julie tells Ryan that it’s important that Sandy doesn’t suspect anything. Ryan says that will be hard, given that he just told Sandy that he wants Volchok dead. Julie tells him that he has to go smooth things over with Sandy and is then all, “By the way, do you know how to cook a turkey?”
Taylor tells Kirsten all about her marriage, working in that the guy is sexy and well-endowed, but says that she’s now terrified to tell her mother. Then she brightens and tells Kirsten that since now they’re “like sisters,” she could tell Taylor’s mom for her. Kirsten says no, because that’s Taylor’s job. Taylor pouts and says something in French, and Kirsten caves, saying she won’t do Taylor’s dirty work but she will put Taylor’s mom in the right frame of mind. Taylor tells Kirsten that her mom is organizing an event at the yacht club, but Kirsten says she can’t do it that day because, hello, THANKSGIVING. More pouty French, and Kirsten finally says she’ll do it, but Taylor has to help her cook, which Taylor is more than happy to do.
At the airport, Seth greets Summer with a bouquet of roses. They kiss, awkwardly, and greet each other.
Volchok is at Sandy’s office, where Sandy tells him they can meet with the D.A. and settle on a charge. Volchok isn’t happy that he’ll still have to do jail time and says he thought Sandy would help him. Sandy says he is, by turning him over so he can get the punishment he deserves. Volchok says after a while, Mexico started to feel like prison anyway. “That’s guilt for you,” says Sandy, and when Volchok thanks him, Sandy reveals his real motivation: the sooner Volchok is off the streets, the sooner Ryan can start his life again.
Outside, Ryan goes up to Sandy’s office building (so…I guess after the grocery store, Seth and Ryan went home and then took off again in separate cars?) and asks someone coming out where Sandy’s office is. She tells him that Sandy just left, and when Ryan turns his head, he sees Sandy in the car with Volchok. Dun dun dun!
Mari: I’m sure Ryan will be really reasonable about this and will use his words in an effective manner! Just kidding! Let’s watch the drama unfold.
Katie: After the not-break, we’re in the Cohen kitchen, where Taylor is giving Kirsten turkey-cooking lessons. Ryan walks in, and when Kirsten and Taylor try to explain the Taylor situation, Ryan has no time for that. He demands to know where Sandy is, and when Kirsten says he’s out running unknown errands, Ryan takes off, leaving Kirsten annoyed that he’s not helping with dinner. Meanwhile, Seth and Summer arrive at the Cohen house as Ryan dashes out the door.
Seth and Summer go into the kitchen and Summer hugs Kirsten and Taylor, the latter of whom comments on how Summer smells bad, because campus activism is gross. Kirsten says this would be a good opportunity for Seth and Summer to take over cooking while she and Taylor go talk to Taylor’s mom. After they leave, Summer mentions how long it’s been since she’s been in that house, and Seth says the house misses her and so does he. Summer mentions she has to get back to her dad’s, but Seth says they should go upstairs and she should give him five minutes. She agrees, and he even takes a timer with him to mark those five minutes.
Julie is trying to figure out how to cook a turkey when Neil walks in. He asks again why they’re not going to the Cohens’, and Julie, not willing to say, “I sent their kid on a murder mission to Mexico and I’m still trying to get him to kill someone,” won’t tell. The doorbell rings, and when Neil answers, he finds Ryan looking for Julie. Neil says talking to Julie isn’t a good idea right now. Ryan says he just needs to talk to Julie for a couple of minutes (not really sure why he didn’t call, unless Neil is hiding Julie’s phone), but Neil says he does, too, and has needed to for a long time. He gets all sad about how there was a time where he looked forward to spending his life with Julie but now she won’t even talk to him. Ryan eventually relents and leaves.
Mari: Maybe he just runs around the corner AND USES HIS DAMN PHONE.
Katie: This is a TV trope that annoys the hell out of me. People on TV are always going out of their way to speak to people in person, usually for a really short conversation, when they could just do it on the phone.
At the yacht club, Kirsten and Taylor walk in and find Taylor’s mom, Veronica, berating someone about the color of the candles. Taylor is super-nervous, so Kirsten walks forward first. Veronica is all fake-nice to her and Kirsten tells her she’s here to help with the event, whatever it is. Kirsten says it must be hard for her to have her first Thanksgiving without Taylor, and Veronica’s all, “Oh, of course! I’m a mother first and a sports agent second!” Kirsten says she feels the same way, and that you always have to love your children even if they disappoint you. Veronica’s like, “And you would know, with the shooting and the car accident and Seth burning down the Newport Group…” Wow. Mean, but also strange examples to pick, seeing as Seth burning down the Newport Group is the only one of those things that was actually Seth or Ryan’s fault, and even that was an accident.
Kirsten, who has shown a remarkable amount of restraint through this entire episode, says that she was actually talking about Veronica and Taylor. Veronica insists that she does love Taylor unconditionally, even throwing in a Mother Teresa quote to add to her point, but then she sees Taylor and freaks out. Taylor tells her mom they need to talk, and Kirsten says she’ll leave them alone, reassuring Taylor that it’s going to be fine.
Mari: I know my mom and sending in someone else first would’ve made her more angry. It was like when I would send a friend to ask if I could sleep over. She would smile at my friend and flash me OH NO YOU DIDN’T eyes. Like that but with a surprise marriage.
Katie: In Seth’s room, Summer is doing yoga and Seth is annoyed. He’s also not happy that Summer doesn’t like his tattoo, but they bond a bit when he tells her what a wuss he was when he got it. They kiss, but the kiss ends when Summer catches a glimpse of the Marissa cartoon on the Atomic County poster hanging on the wall. Seth asks her what’s wrong, and Summer says, “I just get upset when I think about…” and it looks for a second like she’s about to open up, but she continues with a rant about Americans and their wastefulness. She gets up and leads Seth out of the room, insisting that they have to go to a soup kitchen and feed the homeless or something. Seth: “Do we have to? We’re already feeding Ryan, and he was homeless once.” Just then, Sandy walks in and greets Summer, who spouts off statistics about poverty and leaves. Sandy remarks to Seth that he never would have guessed that of the kids, Summer would turn out to be the young Sandy Cohen among them.
After another not-break, Ryan, at the beach, meets up with some guy who’s apparently a friend of Volchok’s. If he’s been in another episode, I don’t remember him. He says that if Volchok is anywhere, he’s probably with Heather, aka Bitchy Redhead. Ryan asks for Heather’s number, and interspersed between beach-montage-y things, he calls her and a bit later, Heather comes to meet him. She tells Ryan that she did try to find help after the accident, which Ryan doesn’t care about. She doesn’t know where Volchok is and tells Ryan that the last time she spoke to him, he sounded pretty messed up. Ryan: “Good.” Heather tells Ryan that it might be best for him to put the whole thing behind him, and Ryan’s all, “Uh, yeah, right,” before he leaves.
Sandy is driving around in the car looking for Ryan when Kirsten calls. He says he hasn’t had any luck finding Ryan but he has another idea of where to look. Kirsten says it feels weird to be cooking and wonders if she should call dinner off, but Sandy says not to. Kirsten says she has to go as Taylor comes into the kitchen. She asks Taylor what happened, and Taylor sobs amid a spoonful of mashed potatoes as she says that her mother called her stupid and irresponsible and said she’d never be truly thin because of her “large thorax.” Also, she’s no longer welcome in her mother’s house.
WOW. Amid some truly impressive competition, Veronica Townsend may have clinched the title for worst parent on this show. I mean, the Coopers and Ryan’s mom aren’t great parents, but they do CARE about their children. Taylor’s mom seems to have no love for her at all.
Mari: Angry about a surprise marriage? Yeah, maybe, okay. Commenting on her weight to add insult to injury? GTFO Momma Townsend.
Katie: Plus, she’s kicking her out over, basically, dropping out of school and jumping into an ill-advised marriage with a guy she just met. No, not great choices, but not the end of the world, either. Taylor isn’t, like… plotting murder. Unlike someone else in this episode.
Sympathetically, Kirsten tells Taylor she can stay with them. Taylor lights up as she asks, “Forever?” Kirsten says no, just one night, but they’ll help her find a place to stay. Taylor hugs Kirsten, calling her “Kiki” and saying she’s sorry she wasn’t able to help with cooking more. They’re talking about how they only need one pie since there will only be five people when Seth and Summer walk in, telling them to rethink that—since the soup kitchen already had enough volunteers, they’ve brought a bunch of homeless people with them. Kirsten, who doesn’t look nearly as freaked out as the situation merits, tells Seth that they can’t stay here. Between this and Taylor hiding out in the house, Kirsten’s had to deal with a lot of people showing up uninvited. Taylor, because they all think that poor people really do smell bad, tells her she’ll go over hygiene basics with them. Seth assures her that he’ll keep them occupied and asks them all if they want to watch Battlestar Galactica. (M: Seriously, we are going to recap that show one day.)
Still in the car, Sandy calls Julie, asking where Ryan is. Julie reminds him that she told him to stay away from Ryan, but Sandy says he knows Ryan must have called Julie as soon as he found out that Volchok was in custody. Julie is shocked to hear about Volchok, and Sandy can tell she really didn’t know. Julie asks Sandy if this means that it’s really over, and shuts her phone (ah, flip phones) with a stunned look on her face. Kaitlin walks in and asks Julie if she’s okay. Julie says she doesn’t know, but balks at Kaitlin’s suggestion that she lie down. Kaitlin leaves the room as Neil walks in, and she tells him that Julie’s having a meltdown. Julie tells Neil that she just has to focus on cooking dinner and asks him to get out of the way.
At a motel, a clerk tells Ryan that there’s no one there listed under that name (Volchok’s, I presume). Ryan walks out to his car and finds Sandy, who affirms that Volchok is indeed not there. Ryan says he’ll just keep looking, but Sandy says Ryan should come with him. Ryan: “What, so you can take me home? Give me one of your lectures?” Sandy says they’re beyond all that, and Ryan asks what he’s doing there. Sandy says Ryan should find out, and Ryan follows Sandy to his car.
At the Cohen house, Summer is stressing about not having enough chairs as Seth tells her they need to talk.
Meanwhile, Neil tells Julie the same thing. Julie still won’t talk, though, and as she stomps off and finds Kaitlin cleaning up after her dog, she yells at Kaitlin that she’ll have the dog put to sleep if Kaitlin doesn’t get it out. Yeesh. Kaitlin stalks off to her car, telling Julie that she’s going to the Cohens, since they don’t hate the whole family, just Julie. Neil comes after Julie and tells her he loves her, but she’s acting insane.
Summer, meanwhile, insists to Seth that she’s not insane. What’s insane was her old life, where she used to hang out with Marissa and go shopping and tanning and things like that. Seth stops her and says that’s what this is all about.
Mari: Has it honestly taken him this long to figure out Summer is upset about her best friend dying?
Katie: I think it’s more that they haven’t TALKED about Summer being upset, at least since she went to college. She seems to be avoiding the subject by throwing herself into activism.
Neil: “Marissa. It’s all about her.” Yes, that could, in fact, be the tagline for way too much of this show. He tells Julie, as she searches for her keys, that she has to stop running away and let herself grieve.
Summer says she’s not running away, and huffily grabs her backpack to head out for her dad’s house.
Julie, from her car, tells Neil that he’s the one who had the affair. Neil insists that nothing happened with him and his ex, he just needed someone to talk to. Julie angrily tells him that when she gets back, she wants him out of the house. Neil reminds her that it’s his house, and Julie’s like, “We’ll see about that.” Uh, how? A house doesn’t magically become yours when you’re mad at your fiancé. Property laws don’t work like that.
Nighttime falls (wow, this whole episode has taken place in ONE DAY), and Sandy and Ryan pull up to another motel. Sandy points to it and tells Ryan that Volchok is in there while the D.A. files the charges, even giving him the room number. Ryan says if this is some kind of dare, he’ll take it. Sandy: “I trust you.”
Ryan gets out of the car and goes up to Volchok’s room, where he finds Volchok sitting on the edge of the bed. Volchok says Ryan must have been waiting a long time for this and asks him what he’s waiting for. After hesitating for only a second, Ryan punches him and breaks a bottle. He has one hand on Volchok’s throat and the broken bottle in the other when Volchok starts crying and telling Ryan to kill him because he doesn’t care anymore and just wants it to be over. The camera zooms in on Ryan’s face as we go to the not-break.
When we come back, a police car pulls up to the motel and someone gets out and talks to Sandy, who tells them to give him a minute before they go in.
In the motel room, Ryan sits on the edge of the bed with the broken bottle. Sounding like the anger has gone out of him, he talks about how Volchok didn’t stop or try to help after the accident. Volchok says that it’s all he ever thinks about and he wishes he could take it back. Ryan just wants to know why he did it. Volchok says he just couldn’t handle that Ryan got the girl and he didn’t and he just wanted Ryan to pull over. Ryan tearfully asks if it was all just an accident. Volchok says that if Ryan wants to finish this, he won’t fight back. But Ryan doesn’t want to do Volchok any favors and tells him that he has to live with what he did.
Let’s think about this scene for a second. Ryan is fresh off a trip to another freaking country that he made for the express purpose of trying to kill Volchok. Ryan is not even speaking to Seth because Seth had the audacity to KEEP him from killing Volchok. And here Sandy is, bringing Ryan directly to the guy he’s trying to kill. I mean… how much faith do you have to have in someone to do that? If he wasn’t 100% sure Ryan wasn’t actually going to kill Volchok, this would have been an incredible risk. While there’s a part of me that wants to file this alongside the countless other nonsensical things that have happened on this show… I have to be honest. The feels are winning out. I think I must have left a million comments on this site saying, “Season 4 is going to be great! Just wait for Season 4!” But there’s a reason I keep saying that, namely: this season has more of a focus on the relationships between Ryan and the Cohens, something that’s always been one of its greatest strengths. And as much of a dumb teen soap as this show can often be, I have to admit that I find Sandy and Ryan’s relationship, in particular, very moving.
Mari: I’m not at the point where I’m super loving this season, or anything, but I completely agree about the Cohens + Ryan. It’s definitely my favorite part because I love stories about families and in particular found families.
Katie: Summer walks into her dad’s house to find Julie alone at an empty table. It’s a pathetic-looking sight that becomes even more so when Summer asks where her dad and Kaitlin are and Julie responds, “Gone.” Summer sits down, and as Julie realizes, “We can’t go on like this anymore,” the two of them, now forced to face the reality of Marissa’s death, join hands.
At the Cohen house, Seth is trying to call Summer, but Taylor shuts off his ringer, telling him that Summer has to face reality. Kaitlin and her weird-looking dog are there now, and as they all sit down for dinner, Sandy and Ryan walk in. Kirsten asks Ryan if he’s okay and hugs him. Sandy is a bit confused at all the extra people who are there, but as they settle in, he recognizes one of them as someone he defended once. The guy goes, “Yeah! I called you Crazy Eyebrow Man!” HA! Amazing. We should all follow this guy’s lead. Also, it turns out Kaitlin’s dog actually belongs to one of the other guys at the table. Kaitlin is pissed, but after Taylor tries to mollify her with a Bible quote, Kaitlin’s like, “You are a total freak show! It is so awesome!” Ah, the beginning of a beautiful friendship. (M: HUH. I… I like this…)
The Cohens’ doorbell rings, and Sandy answers it to find a tearful Julie. She says she’s sorry as Alexi Murdoch’s “All My Days” starts playing. Sandy looks shocked and says she doesn’t think Julie’s ever said that before. Julie: “I don’t think I ever meant it.” Sandy invites her in, and Kirsten offers Julie a seat at the table, but Julie looks at Ryan, who gets up.
Julie and Ryan head out to the pool house. Julie sits down and says, “Tell me about her. Anything. Just…tell me about her.” Oh, God. Now I’ve got feels for reals. Ryan sits down next to her and tells her about the first time he met Marissa, describing what she was wearing as she stood at the bottom of the driveway and how he thought she was really hot, and how she smiled at him. Julie says she had a beautiful smile, and we fade out as the two of them keep talking together.
This show, you guys. This episode should be an inspiration to us all. You, too, can have a completely crap year like Season 3 and then bounce back with an episode like this that punches you in the feels. The viewers might have abandoned you for Grey’s Anatomy by then, but whatever. I’m team feels with this one and not ashamed to say it.
Next time on The OC: Ryan helps Taylor legalize her divorce as a good friend would in S04 E04 – The Metamorphosis.
I'm a creature native to the Boston area often found writing fiction, blogging at www.purebrightfire.com, riding the T reading a book, singing to dogs, wishing my workout was over, making weird playlists, and drinking hot chocolate and Diet Coke. Life goals include finding someone to sing "The Confrontation" from Les Mis with me, a la Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
