Previously: Dawson was a giant bag of dicks and everything hurts.
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Show Me Love
Kirsti: We start with an incredibly long montage. At Leery Manor, Dawson stares moodily at the ugly-ass painting that Aunt Gwen gave him. Joey stares sadly up at Dawson’s window. Pacey is…watering his boat?? IDEK, you guys. He’s hosing down the boat while wearing an awful Hawaiian shirt. Jen walks out of Chez Grams to find Henry standing outside like the creepy serial killer that he is, holding a sign that reads “Jen Lindley: would you please forgive me?” It’s like that scene in Love Actually but weirder. Jen nopes her way back inside, and Grams smirks.
Democracy Diva: Stop smiling, Grams. This douchenozzle wants to guilt your granddaughter into sex.
K: SERIOUSLY.
At school, Dawson and Pacey avoid each other. At lunch, Joey gives us a round of sponsorship shots and makes awkward eye contact with Dawson, then Pacey. Jack gives her a little “over here!” nod, but he’s sitting with Andie, so that’s out too. She sits by herself instead. I just have to add something here: I don’t know what the fuck is going on with Katie Holmes’ hair in this episode, but it’s in a ponytail basically the entire time and it looks INDESCRIBABLY greasy throughout. I mean, it’s pretty legit teenage girl hair. But it’s not TV show hair. WHY. WHYYYYYYYY.
After school, Dawson finds Joey sitting by the unpainted wall that Pacey gave her ohgodmyfeelscanwegobacktoepisode19now? (D: Yes, please.) Dawson says he’s not there to talk about her and Pacey. Instead, he wants to talk about how much he wants her in his life. Ugh. Girl, run away while you have the chance. He’s not your soulmate. He’s a dick who thinks the entire world revolves around him. Joey asks about Pacey, and Dawson snaps that the damage has been done and that his feelings on Pacey are basically this:
He wants to rebuild his relationship with Joey by having a picnic, watching a movie and moving on. She’s all “Yeah, no” because she wants to stare at her wall for a while.
Diva: Understandable. I’d always take wall-staring over hanging out with Dawson, even if said wall doesn’t have any romantic Pacey background story.
K: Anything is better than hanging out with Dawson. ANYTHING.
He says the invitation is good any time, and walks away. Joey looks confused.
HEY YEAH YEAH YEAH.
After the credits, we get some establishing shots informing us that it’s the 2000 Capeside Regatta, so there’s a bunch of tourists in town. Mitch and Gail dither about whether or not it’s still appropriate for Leery’s Fresh Fish to sponsor Pacey in the regatta, which Gail pronounces re-gah-ta… The internet informs me that that’s how it’s pronounced in America, and I’m totally not okay with this. #TeamRe-gat-a.
Diva: How do you guys say it? Gat as in cat? I mean, it hardly matters, since we both know that this regatta is actually pronounced “contrivance.”
K: Very true. But yes, gat as in cat.
Dawson comes out of the restaurant to ruin everything for everyone some more ask what’s going on. They fill him in, saying that they need the publicity but also he’s more important than the restaurant so they can pull out of the race if necessary. Dawson insists that he’s fine and he don’t need no stinking Pacey Witter.
Diva: There’s a T.Swift concert happening three blocks from my apartment tonight and tomorrow. So thanks for using gifs to prepare me for the concert I am unwillingly attending if I open my windows in the next 36 hours.
K: You are totally welcome.
He says he’ll take the banner to Pacey to prove how fine he is, and storms off. Gail and Mitch look concerned.
Pacey, meanwhile, is standing on the True Love looking feelsy. Dawson hands him the banner, and Pacey says if Dawson wants him to drop out of the race, he’ll have to use his words. Dawson bitchfaces a little, and tells Pacey he can do what he wants. Pacey says Dawson’s entitled to be angry, and that at least how his anger is directed at the right person. Dawson’s reply is typically Dawson: “Everyone else may buy this chivalrous, self-deprecating crap. I don’t.” He storms off.
Elsewhere, Joey tells Bessie that she doesn’t want to serve pancakes at the registration table. Bessie insists that it’s good PR and will remind people that the regatta’s being sponsored by the B&B. Um. Where did y’all get the money for that? Anyway, Bessie trails off mid-sentence as she notices Pacey running up the Leery’s Fresh Fish flag, and says it’s a good sign. Joey smiles happily.
Bessie asks how things are, and Joey fills her in on the Dawson situation, before saying it feels wrong to hang out with him when he and Pacey are fighting. Bessie’s all “Girl. Let them sort out their own shit”, and mentions the flag again. Joey gives an awkward lopsided smile.
Chez Grams. Andie, Jack, and Jen are helping her assemble flower wreaths to present to the winners. Grams is super excited about having helpers because she’s been doing it solo since 1953. Good Lord, lady.
Diva: That’s… too long, Grams. Gramps should have been helping you for the first forty-five odd years!
K: RIGHT?! Also, why has Jen not helped you the past two years? And why has this regatta never been mentioned before? Oh, right. Contrivance.
Meanwhile, Jen is playing “he loves me, he loves me not” on a daisy. Jack accidentally murders some flowers and sad pandas that it’s times like this he thinks he’s straight. Grams there-theres him and tries to put a flower behind his ear. It’s oddly adorable.
Andie squeals and says “we’re not the only ones creating a public display“. She gestures outside, and Jen looks over in horror to see Henry holding his sign again. Apparently he’s been doing this for a week now, and stood outside in the rain for an hour the previous day. (D: GO HOME, PSYCHO.) Jack and Andie want to know what Henry did, and Jen fills them in on the horny teenage boy thing. Grams says Henry’s done his penance and Jen should forgive him. Jen sighs.
Diva: I’d be okay with Jen forgiving him if he actually acknowledged what he did wrong. Instead, he’s just continuing to ignore her lack of reciprocation to his attentions. Like, you know, the same thing she’s already mad at him for doing. Go somewhere else and continue to be a small child/occasional vampire, Henry.
K: YUP.
Back at the marina, Jack and Andie are dropping off the wreaths as Dawson asks if he can borrow their dad’s boat because he’s entered the regatta. Jack’s all “Hahahahahahaha, WORST PLAN EVER”. Said plan gets worse when Dawson says that it’s no wonder Joey got away from him when he’s spent the past two months staring at his walls, and that this is his chance to show her how much he cares. Dude. What.
Jack’s all “Yeah, no” but Andie says watching the person you love throw everything away to be with someone else is wrong and they need to help Dawson. Uuuuuuuuuuugh. Whatever, contrivance. Whatever. Jack reluctantly agrees that Dawson can use the boat.
Dawson wanders over to where Joey’s serving pancakes and stares at her creepily until she notices him. She gives him a pancake and talks about how relieved she is that things are on the mend with him and Pacey on account of the flag. Dawson’s all “LOL NOPE” and says that he’s in the race now too, and Bessie’s agreed to sponsor him. What the frack is this storyline. Make it stop. Give me back my Pacephine.
Joey doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but Dawson insists that he just wants to help out and she’d totally help him in the same circumstances and plus it’ll mean the B&B is (somehow) booked solid all tourist season. Okay, contrivance. Whatever you say. He walks off, and Joey looks concerned as we fade to black.
Diva: Also, if Dawson truly wanted to help, he probably would have told her first, instead of going behind her back and being the shadiest douchenozzle of all time.
K: But that would give her the chance to say no, and Dawsons don’t like that word.
After the Not Commercial Break, Bessie walks up and starts a conversation with “Okay, before you get mad at me…“, which sounds a hell of a lot like when my parents start a conversation with “At the risk of incurring your wrath…”. It ends just as well, with Joey immediately yelling at Bessie for going along with this fucking terrible idea. Bessie reiterates that Dawson wants to help out, and Joey’s all “Uh, NO. Dawson wants to have a dick measuring contest with Pacey.”
Diva: YES, THIS. EXACTLY THIS.
K: But with boats because Dawson’s a living Ken doll and Pacey would automatically win an ACTUAL dick measuring contest.
Bessie thinks that having two boys race over them is a great idea, and GIRL. NO. Joey rages that this was meant to stop when she broke up with Pacey (sniff, tear, sob), and Bessie’s all “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” before pointing out that being an adult means recognising that your actions have consequences and that things don’t always turn out the way you want. You’re totally right, Bessie, but GO GIVE THAT SPEECH TO DAWSON MOTHERFUCKING LEERY. Because literally everything is a result of his actions, and now he’s refusing to accept the consequences.
Joey sadly asks if Bessie has any advice, and Bessie tells her to accept the consequences and find a way to make things better. Punch Dawson in the dick, Joey. That will make everything better. Joey nods thoughtfully.
House of McPheelings. Will knocks on Andie’s bedroom door, and she asks if Dawson’s still getting sailing lessons from Jack. I hope he drowns.
Diva: Word for word, my notes say the exact same thing.
K: Snark Lady Mindmeld!
Will informs her that he got a scholarship to Spinoff Land some snooty private school, and she hugs him excitedly. He’s not so excited because it means leaving Pacey alone and he’s hella worried.
Andie snaps that Pacey and Joey brought things on themselves, and Will’s all “………………………by developing feelings for each other?”. He points out that they didn’t set out to hurt anyone, and her response is basically that Pacey refused to forgive her when she cheated on him, so now it’s payback time. Uh, girl. You broke up nearly a year ago. He most decidedly was NOT cheating on you. (D: For real. Get it together, Andie.) Will says she has to let go of her anger, or it’ll make her all dark and twisty rather than the happy perky girl he met on spring break. “I know you’re better than that,” he says. Andie looks feelsy.
Down at the marina, Dawson and Jack are getting hands on experience with the boat, and it’s like something out of a Three Stooges episode. Dawson pulls a rope, and the boom swings around and whacks Jack in the head. They bumble around some more, and then Mitch turns up to be all “JFC, you suck” and point out all the things they’re doing wrong with proper nautical terminology. He offers to help because apparently it’s poor form to have your titular character drown. Unless it’s Buffy. (D: A+) Dawson happily accepts, then hoists the Potter B&B flag. That…they just had lying around???
Diva: lolforever. Obviously every local business has spare flags lying around!
K: Totally.
Joey watches as he does so, then turns and comes face to face with a hurt looking Pacey. He turns and walks away. She follows, insisting that it wasn’t her idea but that Dawson’s like a super annoying dog with a bone. She apologises, and Pacey wants to know why she’s apologising if it wasn’t her idea.
She says she’s apologising because he’s upset, and Pacey tells her he’s upset because they haven’t spoken in two weeks and now the first words out of her mouth are about Dawson. Joey sad pandas, and says things are about to get harder. Pacey realises she wants him to drop out of the race, and he says “Dawson Leery couldn’t have scripted this one any better, could he?“.
Joey’s confused, and Pacey informs her that no matter what he does, Dawson wins. Because even if he wins the race, he’s not beating Dawson. He’s beating Joey and the B&B. So Dawson still wins. Joey suggests talking to him, and Pacey scoffs that his conversations with Dawson haven’t exactly been civil recently. She begs him to try again, and he reluctantly agrees. She thanks him and turns to go. “Hey Potter? Nice talking to you…” Pacey calls after her. She turns and smiles sadly before leaving.
At the restaurant that night, Jen seats a couple of patrons. Gail rushes up to inform her that Henry used to be cute but now he’s psychotic. He’s outside with his sign again. Jen apologises, but Gail just wants Henry away from her restaurant seeing as how it’s their busiest weekend. Jen reluctantly heads outside and drags Henry away.
Diva: Call the cops. Enough is enough. This is trespassing and more importantly, interfering with the business of actual adults. Go play in a sandbox, Henry.
K: I know he’s like 14, but SERIOUSLY CHILD. Slow your roll.
Cut to the roof of a building by the waterfront. Jen’s not entirely sure why she’s there, but it turns out Henry’s set up a trail of rose petals and a bunch of blankets and pillows. She gets swoony, which seems weird given that she’s mad at him for wanting sex, and this whole set up screams “WE GONNA BANG”. He says he did it to show her he can do more than just talk.
Diva: Yeah, I definitely read that as, “I CAN FUCK INSTEAD OF TALKING!” First of all, no you can’t, you’re five years old. Second, YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW APOLOGIES WORK.
K: Which surprises precisely zero Snark Ladies.
He says he realises that he’d stopped hearing her and that it’ll never happen again. He’s glad they didn’t rush into sex, but he’s never going to stop wanting her so badly that it makes him crazy. He doesn’t want to be like all the other guys in her life. Jen gets teary, and girl, no. She says she’s never had a picnic on a roof before, and they kiss.
Dawson, meanwhile, is wandering the docks. Pacey appears and asks what he’s trying to prove. Dawson insists that he’s just trying to help Joey, and Pacey hurdles the fence in a way that’s oddly hot considering he’s wearing a shirt covered in fish and camo shorts…
Diva: Okay, I’m really glad that wasn’t just me. Something about it was strangely swoon-worthy.
K: RIGHT?! I tried to find you guys a picture of hurdling Pacey, but the internet did not oblige.
He tells Dawson to just take a swing at him and get it over with. Dawson refuses. Pacey asks if he thinks this James Dean/Greased Lightning showdown will prove he’s the better man, and Dawson snaps “Don’t have to prove that“. My lip curls in disgust. Apparently falling for Joey when he knew she was, like, Dawson’s property or some shit proves that Pacey’s scum.
Pacey says he made a mistake, and thought Dawson would understand someone falling for Joey, seeing as HE DID. Dawson laughs mockingly, and asks if Pacey’s really delusional enough to think he has something real with Joey. “Well, if I do, it’s because of her own free will,” Pacey replies. A+, sir. Dawson scoffs some more because he’s a big bag of dicks.
“Do you really think you can compete with history?” Dawson snaps. Pacey points out that the history is actually like 15 years of nothing, and then a year of pretending to be adults, and then breaking up the second it got hard. Dawson accuses him of going after Joey when she was vulnerable, because Pacey only likes “girls you can save or screw“. Ugh. Fucking worst.
Diva: That line says so more about Dawson’s perspective on women than anything else. Of course he’s projecting that onto Pacey – that’s how Dawson views the world.
K: YUP.
Pacey looks disgusted and walks away. Fade to black.
At the restaurant, Gail’s pissed that Mitch is helping Dawson with the race. Mitch points out that the fight is going to happen regardless and it may as well happen with tens of thousands of dollars worth of sailboats involved rather than just fists?? Maybe because he knows Pacey would wipe the floor with Dawson otherwise.
Gail thinks they should teach Dawson to fight with words rather than with sailboats, and Mitch says sometimes there are too many words and action is the only way to demonstrate your feelings. Gail’s all “Whut?” and Mitch is all “You know, all the flirting we’ve been doing recently?”. Gail looks away, and Mitch awkwards and rushes out. I laugh. Gail looks thoughtful.
Regatta. I’m still not over the weird American pronunciation. (D: We’re sorry. We don’t know how to do things.) The race starts with a teeny tiny canon firing, which throws us into a montage of shots of yachts and ropes and Pacey inexplicably wearing a yellow waterproof onesie??
Diva: Whatever. Still swoon-worthy, even dressed as a Minion.
K: Sad but true.
In contrast, Dawson is wearing a sweatshirt and shorts. Pacey and Will round the marker first, but with Mitch’s help, Dawson and Jack start to gain ground.
Pacey yells at them to back off because they’re getting too close, but Dawson refuses to give up ground. We get a hilariously sped-up shot of the boats racing towards the finish, then a shot of Joey and Gail looking concerned. Pacey yells some more, and Mitch tells Dawson to back off. But he’s all “LOL NOPE”. At the last minute, Pacey – despite having right of way – turns to avoid a collision.
Dawson crosses the line first and cheers loudly, but the commentators are all “Yeah, that’s a disqualification”. Pacey finishes sixth. He pulls off his waterproofs – which were apparently not a onesie, but a jacket and overalls – and storms up the dock. Joey marches over to Dawson who’s all gloaty about his victory. She points out that he’s been disqualified. Pacey storms up and starts yelling that Dawson nearly killed him. All Dawson cares about is how he got disqualified. I laugh because it’s a perfect description of the Dawson/Joey relationship. She doesn’t want you, bro. Get out.
Diva: Even though Dawson is a deluded egomaniac, I can’t believe he thought Joey would respond well to the whole “trying to make Pacey CRASH HIS BOAT” thing. Like, even for Dawson, that was supremely stupid.
K: Clearly not the best plan from the giant blonde spider than lives on his head.
Dawson insists that Pacey started it, and they yell at each other. Joey yells at them to stop because “I’m not some damned trophy“, but they ignore her. Pacey yells that everything is Dawson’s fault because he pushed Pacey towards Joey in the first place. Dawson screams back that it was because he still loved Joey. Still loves Joey.
She hates herself, too, and wishes they could go back to the way it was before. But they can’t. She insists nothing is worth going through all this. None of them are worth this. She walks away, and Pacey looks feelsy while Dawson looks super pissed that things didn’t go his way. “Are you happy now?” Pacey snaps. He heads back to his boat, while Dawson goes after Joey because he doesn’t know when to leave well enough alone.
Joey cries as she walks along the pier. Dawson corners her, and says he’s glad Pacey kissed her. “Well, that makes one of us…” she says. Apparently he’s glad because it made him deal with the idea of losing her, and he can’t lose her. Never ever ever. Girl, run away before you end up in a murder basement. Joey insists that she’s no good for him, and that he behaved like a huge bag of dicks today.
Diva: All true things. If Dawson would just listen to literally anything anyone says, he could avoid a butt-load of heartache and even more looking like a bag of dicks.
K: And yet he won’t, because of reasons.
Dawson says that he was just trying to behave like a guy she’d want. Because, you know, Pacey beat up a bully and bought her a wall. She’s all “yeah, that’s totally not you, you dick”.
Diva: And also, Pacey didn’t try to murder his former best friend via boat. But he probably should have, because then Dawson would be dead and we’d all be happy.
K: TRUTH. But I maintain that Dawson isn’t his best friend. Literally any other person on the face of the earth is a better friend than Dawson Leery.
Dawson insists he’s been trying to show her how much he wants her, rather than just using his words. “You don’t want me, Dawson. You said it yourself, you just don’t want to lose me,” Joey says. Dawson looks offended.
He says he wants her more than ever. Joey turns to look at him, and snaps that if that were true, he’d realise that the last thing she needs is another person with romantic feelings for her. He demands to know what she needs, and she says she needs a friend to be there for her without any agenda. “The person you used to be,” she finishes. Dawson insists he can be that person, but she walks away. Dawson tears up as we fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Pacey sees Will off at the train station. They hug goodbye, and Will asks if Pacey has any advice for him. He rattles off some jokey stuff and finishes with “Don’t sleep with any of your teachers. It doesn’t turn out as well as you’d think“. WOW, THANKS FOR THAT TOTALLY UNNECESSARY REMINDER THAT TAMARA EXISTED, SHOW -_-
Will grins, and offers some advice in return: “Don’t give up“. He says that true love always wins in the end. Pacey looks feelsy as Will leaves. Cut to Chez Grams. Jen’s curled up on her bed, listening to music. Grams comes in and Jen sad pandas that if Grams doesn’t respect her, she should at least respect her privacy. Grams sits on the bed and hands Jen the dress she wore in the pilot, which she found packed away in a box.
Diva: Aw, I didn’t recognize that it was from the pilot. That’s actually really sweet.
K: Jen insists it’s not her style, and Grams says she knows. It’s a reminder of how Jen was a child when she arrived in Capeside and now she’s grown into “a beautiful, poised, confident, mature young woman who isn’t afraid to risk her heart.” She thinks Jen finally thinks she deserves to be loved, and it’s super great, but they need to have a sex talk. Jen interrupts to say that she and Henry didn’t have sex. Grams is relieved, but assures Jen that she still means all the nice things she said. They hug, and I have feels.
Restaurant. Gail’s set up a candlelit dinner for two. Mitch walks in and is all confused. She says she’s been thinking about what he said, and that they should have dinner. He’s all “Uh, paying customers?”, and she says he’s more important than paying customers, and always will be. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” she says hopefully. Mitch walks over and kisses her.
Meanwhile, Joey’s in her Overalls of Overall Sadness, staring sadly at her wall with a paint can in her hand. Pacey walks up, and she’s surprised to see him there. There’s some awkwardness when he asks if she wanted it to be Dawson, and she changes the subject by saying the lease will be up on her wall soon. “I’d renew it if you wanted me to…” he says. Ow, my heart. Joey says she doesn’t want to give it up, but she’s not sure she’s ready to paint yet. Because the wall is a metaphor for this fucking stupid love triangle, see?
Diva: I guess that means this episode makes me want to bang my head repeatedly against a “love triangle.”
K: Same, girl.
Pacey says he thought after the way Dawson behaved that she’d love him less, but she doesn’t. She loves him more. GIRL, NO. “Pacey, please don’t make this harder than it is…” Joey replies. He says he’s just got to ask one more question and then he’ll stop making it hard for both of them. She looks at him expectantly. “If it weren’t for Dawson, could you ever love me like that?” he asks. Bro. That’s not an easy question. You made out in secret for like a week, yo. It’s hardly a long term relationship.
Diva: For real. I just want to yell, MAYBE ACTUALLY GO ON A DATE BEFORE ASKING THAT QUESTION. But try telling high school kids that a week of making out isn’t a relationship achievement.
K: SIGH.
“Like what?” she asks. “Like a soulmate…” he replies. Joey begs him not to make her choose. Everyone needs to take a few steps back and… She trails off. Pacey turns and walks away. Then he turns back and says he’ll renew the lease on the wall in the morning. And that he understands. The tinkly orchestra tinkles as he leaves.
Diva: I love his parting line, about how she’ll get no ultimatums from him. He doesn’t need to manipulate her into loving him the way Dawson is trying to do. And also it would never occur to him to do that, because Pacey is not a monster.
K: And that’s why he’s our intern.
Cut down to the docks. Pacey pulls the “True Love” placard off his boat and tosses it into the water tearfully. Andie pulls it out and tells him that she has something to say. She insists that she doesn’t hate him. She felt hurt and betrayed, but she doesn’t want to carry around the burden of hate. He thanks her sadly and they sit together in silence.
Leery Manor. Joey climbs in the window, video tape in hand, and asks if the offer to watch a movie still stands. Dawson chuckles when she hands over ET. She says she just wanted to see something with a reassuring ending. They lie on his bed together, awkwardly glancing at each other when the other is looking away. It’s clearly the most depressing movie night of ever. Our typical 90s female singer-songwriter starts up as the camera pans out the window and we fade to black.
This episode is fucking stupid. It’s like the writers felt they HAD to force tension between Pacey and Dawson, so they did it in the dumbest way possible. Joey gets essentially no say in the matter when it’s a situation that she SHOULD have a say in, and I give literally zero fucks about Mitch and Gail getting back together because I still remember that one time he threw her out of the house in a hurricane.
Diva: Yeah, this was awful. We’ve suffered through a lot of terrible episodes, but this episode was a particular let-down after the solid half-season of squee-ing we’ve done.
K: The one plus side of this episode was that it let me use a bunch of Taylor Swift gifs. So…yeah.
Next time on Dawson’s Creek: We get to break out our “another effing dance” tag ’cause it’s prom time in Capeside. Find out how badly Dawson fucks everything up in S03 E22 – The Anti-Prom.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
