Previously: Dawson continued to be The Actual Worst of Ever, and Pacephine continued to be The Actual Cutest of Ever. Also, Pacey’s previously-unheard-of sister, Gretchen, turned up.
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Falling Down
Kirsti: Capeside High. Pacey and Joey wander adorably, hand in hand. He gripes about how he’s been called to the guidance office already, and she quips that maybe they just want to tell him how supportive they are of his future as a gas station attendant. Harsh, Jo. Pacey, meanwhile, wants to discuss couple-y things. Namely, public displays of affection and whether they’re acceptable at school.
Joey’s not sure, and Pacey says without kissing, they’ve got nothing. Joey agrees and says they should probably just break up. He jokes that they’ve had a good run, then she spins towards him and they kiss adorably in the classroom doorway.
Obviously, Dawson and his flattened blonde spider appear to sad panda as he awkwardly squeezes past them, and they break apart with “Shit, that probably shouldn’t have happened” faces.
Democracy Diva: I was mad for a second, because making out IN THE DOORWAY of a class about to start is kind of rude to your fellow students. But then it made Dawson sad; therefore, it made me happy. I’m easy to please like that.
K: Anything that makes Dawson sad is of the good.
HEY YEAH YEAH YEAH!
After the credits, Joey and Andie wander by the waterfront. Andie can’t believe it’s senior year and that they’ll all be going their separate ways soon. Joey complains that if she doesn’t find a job she’ll be going to Capeside Community College. I…just got a mental image of a Dawson’s Creek/Community crossover show, and it would be fucking fabulous.
Diva:
K: Andie suggests that Joey apply for a waitressing job that’s going at Capeside Yacht Club because it’s basically “the Icehouse with cute, rich boys“. And better tips. Remember the Icehouse? Good times…
Joey scoffs because she’s pretty sure Capeside’s snobs wouldn’t want the poor girl with an imprisoned father working there. Andie tells her to just drop a name if the interview starts going badly. She could use McPhee, except that now means “gay, crazy and dysfunctional.” Y’all need to get the fuck out of this judgey town. (D: Move to a city! You’ll fit right in with the rest of the gay, crazy, and dysfunctional city folk.) She asks where Joey will get better pay and tips than the yacht club, and Joey sasses that there’s a strip club on the edge of town.
Meanwhile, Dawson’s somewhere downtown when Gretchen calls out to him. She randomly informs us/him that she’s househunting because living with Doug is the WORST EVER and living with Pacey is marginally less awful. Dawson gets “ew, Pacey” face. Gretchen awkwards a little and asks if there’s anything she can do to help get their friendship back on track. But LOL NOPE.
She turns instead to the giant pile of CDs he’s carrying and is all “Wow, these are fucking awful”. That’s why he’s trading them in. The pile includes Vanilla Ice, which he claims he bought when he was ten. Bitch, please. Dawson Leery is supposed to be a month older than me, and at the age of 10 I was NOT buying CDs, because they cost like $40. I got my first CD – Spiceworld – for my 13th birthday. I *bought* my first CD at the age of 15. It was Aquarium. Yes, I’m deeply ashamed.
Diva: My first CD was Jewel’s Pieces of You – I was probably around 9 years old. But Spice and Spiceworld definitely followed soon thereafter.
K: As well they should.
Gretchen gets all smug and starts talking about how at the age of 10, she was a total music geek and was telling everyone that Kurt Cobain was about to be a thing. Dawson counters that he knew the names of every cinematographer Spielberg had worked with. At the age of 10, I was reading Dickens. We’re all special snowflakes, can we move on already? She pulls out a Grateful Dead CD, and he’s all “yeah, my parents bought me that and I didn’t like it”. She’s horrified that his parents have better taste in music than he does.
Diva: To be fair, most people can’t stomach jam bands unless they’re under the influence, so I’ll give Dawson a pass on this one.
K: Over at the House of McPheelings, Jen’s obsessively checking her email. Jack’s all “Dude, no”, but Jen says she’s convinced Henry’s found someone else. All summer, they were emailing and phoning and IMing constantly. But now he’s never online and doesn’t answer his phone. Jack checks his email, and because it’s 2001, it announces “You’ve got mail!”. Jen asks who’s emailing him, and he looks a little shellshocked as he insists that it’s no one.
Capeside Yacht Club, better known as The Place Where Joey Murdered On My Own and Pacey Did a Braveheart Impression. Having just checked that recap, we referred to it as the Rich White Men Yacht Club. Still applicable.
Diva: I had no idea this was the same place. That is too amazing. And I love when our nicknames stand the test of time.
K: GOOD WORK, PAST US!
Joey has an interview with a snooty redhead, and totally makes out like her father’s a big wig in the pharmaceutical world. Snooty Redhead doesn’t buy it, and Joey snaps “Before I put up with another second of your thinly veiled bitchery, do you need a waitress or not?” I may have cheered a little. Snooty Redhead says the position’s been filled. Joey goes to leave, but name drops on her way out, as Andie suggested. Boom. Job. Man, I wish I lived in a TV show…
D: For real. Can I move to a fantasy land where you can just drop names and no one bothers to double-check if you actually know them, even though that’s super easy to do?
K: SERIOUSLY.
Meanwhile, Pacey heads to the guidance office to find Mitch there. For inexplicable reasons, he’s now the guidance counsellor. (D: Sense: this doesn’t any make.) Pacey’s his typical gives-no-fucks-about-authority self until Mitch points out that he was meant to be in summer school on account of flunking science, history and English. Pacey’s all “Well, shit” and gets a little teary. Mitch tells him he’ll have to take the classes over after school and work his butt off all year. Pacey wants to know what happens if he can’t do it, and Mitch says he won’t graduate. Pacey looks feelsy, and we fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Gretchen drags Pacey up to a beach house. He thinks it’s gross. She says it’s charming and full of potential. He gripes about sharing the house with cockroaches and crack addicts, and Gretchen’s all “It’s within our budget, STFU”. Man, I wish I lived in a world where it was plausible for me a college drop out and a high school senior to rent a two storey house with oodles of space…
Diva: I know Pacey’s in a mood, but shut the fuck up about this big beautiful well-lit lakeside property that only needs some cleaning and new furniture. Basically everyone who doesn’t belong to the Rich White Men Yacht Club would love a house like this.
K: EXACTLY.
Gretchen twigs that Pacey’s in a mood, and asks what’s going on. He fills her in tearfully, and she plays Big Sister Cheersquad before asking what Joey thinks. Pacey looks away, and Gretchen’s all “JFC, you need to tell her”. He says he can’t because he’s trying to stop her from realising how much of an idiot he is. Dude. She’s known you for LITERALLY EVER. I think she already knows. Gretchen basically orders him to tell Joey, and Pacey looks feelsy.
Rich White Men Yacht Club. Joey waits tables in an ugly uniform. A douchey looking young guy stops her and is all “Yeah, hi. You forgot my order…” She apologises and says she’s a little distracted. He gives zero fucks about her problems, no matter what they may be, and says it’s going to cut into her tip. Joey gets a serious case of I WILL CUT YOU face. Douchey Guy laughs and says he was just joking. And conducting an experiment because his douchey dad says stuff like that all the time, and probably gets a lot of spit in his food as a result.
Diva: I already hate this dude. Is there anything less funny than someone saying a lot of rude things, and then saying “I’m just kidding”?
K: NOPE. Because they’re totally playing you to see how you’ll react.
Joey’s all “FUNNY THAT…” and leaves to check on his order. He follows her and, after establishing that it’s her first day, asks if she hates the patrons yet. Because he totally does. Joey tells him that “Nothing tugs the heart strings like the plaintive cries of a poor little rich boy” and asks him to sign for his food. He smirks, and signs. She sees that it’s the son of the family whose name she used to get the job and gets panic face before rushing off to check on his food.
Leery Manor. Mitch is astonished to find Dawson listening to decent music. He tells Dawson that Pacey’s in academic trouble – uh, pretty sure guidance counsellors aren’t meant to do that – and that he’ll need his friends to help him get through this year. Dawson gives zero fucks because he continues to be the worst friend on the planet, and Mitch says he’s always been proud that his kid is a friend that his friends can talk to and rely on.
Diva: Especially since Dawson has a father who can’t abide by basic rules of confidentiality. Seriously, Mitch, you are so not allowed to tell your son about Pacey’s academic problems. Maybe if you were ACTUALLY A GUIDANCE COUNSELOR, you would know that.
K: EXACTLY.
Dawson makes some long-winded speech that boils down to “JOEY WAS MY PROPERTY AND PACEY STOLE HER AND NOW HE CAN’T PLAY WITH ME ANY MORE BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT MEEEEE”. Mitch sighs and says maybe Dawson knows someone who can help Pacey. Dawson bitchfaces some more.
House of McPheelings. Andie’s all “Skrrrrt, WHAT” because apparently that email Jack got earlier was Henry saying “Hey, can you tell Jen that I want to take a break? Kthxbai.” WTF. She asks what he told Henry, and Jack says he said he’d talk to Jen. Andie’s all “DUDE, NO” because that’s the worst idea of ever. Jack doesn’t understand why it’s a terrible idea, and Andie’s all “Henry should be big enough to break up with his girlfriend on his own. Duh…” Jack looks thoughtful.
Diva: This episode is demanding wayyy too much suspension of disbelief. In what universe would Jack not even consider that this is THE WORST IDEA? Since when is Jack a complete idiot?
K: Seriously. Come on, Jackers. Get with the program.
True Love. Joey and Pacey eat pizza as she acts like it’s a fancy restaurant with a great atmosphere. It’s dorky and adorable. She asks how his day was, and he grumps. She tells him that they’re seniors now, and that only means one more year. Then it’s “no more classes, no more books“. “No more Dawson’s dirty looks?” Pacey interrupts. Fair, kid. Fair. But also, I’m pretty sure Joey doesn’t understand how university works…
She asks what the guidance office thing was about, and he changes the subject. She tells him about her new job, and he’s surprised. But, like, not because she got a job within 30 seconds of looking for a job. Because he didn’t know she wanted to get a job. Joey says she had to because it’s her only way out of the hellhole that is Capeside. He picks a fight about what she’d do if he ended up a Capeside townie, and Joey’s hella confused.
She asks what the hell is going on, but he insists he’s fine. She tells him that picking a fight to make himself feel better is a terrible plan, and waits for an answer. But Pacey just goes back to eating pizza like nothing ever happened. Excuse me while my heart hurts. USE YOUR WORDS, YOU LITTLE SHIT. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, it’s homeroom the following day. Pacey’s not there, and Dawson gets “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME” face. At the Rich White Men Yacht Club, Joey’s being weirdly attentive to Douchey Guy and he’s all “Please stop being weird and go back to being sassy”. She says she’s just trying to do her job. He tells her to sit down, and points at a bunch of the patrons. One is having an affair with his friend’s wife. The friend is in turn having an affair with a women with fake boobs. Said boobs are the work of Capeside’s resident plastic surgeon, who’s a creep.
He points at Snooty Redhead and says she’s the worst of them all. Apparently she married a rich guy, who traded her in for a younger model. She’d gotten used to the money and didn’t take kindly to it being taken away, so she got a job that let her be rich by association. Joey asks how he knows all this, and he claims that if you hang around there long enough, you just pick it up.
Jen meets Jack down by the water and asks what’s going on. He asks if she’s heard from Henry, and she says she’s going to give him some time to settle in at his new school and she’s sure everything will be fine. He asks what she’d do if it were the other way around and she were the one pulling away from Henry. She’s all “Wait, what??” and he suggests they get some food. “Jack? Have you talked to Henry?” Jen asks. He nods and she asks what’s going on. She asks if Henry’s dumping her, and Jack awkwards. Jen snaps that they’re both lying to her, and says she wants to be left alone. She storms off. DAMMIT, BROTP.
B&B. Joey answers the door to find Dawson there. He came to return some CDs she’d totally forgotten about. But it’s a total pretence. He tells her that Pacey’s in trouble, and that if he’s not careful, he’ll flunk out. Joey’s all “Wait, WHAT??”. Dawson says he has no idea why he even gives a fuck, but he knows that if anyone can help Pacey, it’s Joey. She insists that Pacey would have told her. Dawson’s all “LOL NOPE” and makes a big speech about how the thought of disappointing someone you love is crippling. The tinkly piano tinkles as Dawson leaves. Have I mentioned recently how much I hate his hair? Because I really hate his hair.
Diva: It can’t be mentioned enough. It’s so difficult to look at.
K: SO DIFFICULT.
Sibling Sharehouse. Gretchen lets Joey in, and she has SRS face. Pacey goes to kiss her, but she shoves him away and starts firing off questions about why he’s skipping school and why Dawson knows more about his life than she does. He thinks it’s all about Dawson swooping in to save Joey from having a stupid boyfriend, and Joey’s all “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??”
“Do you know how insulting it is that I come up last on your list of people to contact in case of an emergency?” she says. Pacey insists that it’s not a big deal, and that he’s handling it. She tells him that he deals with things by running away and taking the easy way out. He calls himself a loser, and she insists that he’s not. She thought they were a great team, but she thought wrong. She storms out, wiping her eyes and Pacey looks feelsy. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Gretchen rips open the curtains and tells Pacey to get the hell up, shower, and go apologise to Joey. She pulls the covers off him, providing us with the much welcome gift of tank top clad Pacey, and he’s all “Nooooooooo, you’re not the boss of me”. She tells him he’s scared and he’s going to fuck up his relationship if he’s not careful.
Diva: Can we keep Gretchen around solely for making fun of Pacey’s bowling shirts? I got a kick out of that.
K: YES.
As he drinks orange juice straight from the bottle – gross, Pacey – he says that it’s no wonder he turned out the way he did after a lifetime of listening to Doug and their dad tell him how stupid he is. Gretchen tells him to get over it because Dougie and Papa Witter fucking suck. Also, Pacey’s real problem is Dawson telling him how stupid he is. Pacey looks feelsy. Gretchen tells him that Dawson’s just a ghost now. I FUCKING WISH.
Diva: THIS SHOW WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER.
K: RIGHT?!
Rich White Men Yacht Club. Snooty Redhead calls Joey over for some reprimanding. She informs Joey that the rich family she name dropped are in Paris, and so it makes no sense for their son to have been signing receipts at the yacht club the previous day. Joey insists that he was there, and Snooty Redhead is all “Yeah, you’re fired”. Douchey Guy turns up and is all “Yeah, that guy was totally here. I saw him”. He calls Snooty Redhead “Mom” and Joey’s all “SKRRRRT, WHAT”. Snooty Redhead calls him Drue, which is a relief because Douchey Guy was a very generic nickname.
Down on the marina, Joey confronts Drue and is all “WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING”. He tells her to chill because he totally saved her job. She accuses him of lying, and he says knew the minute he saw her that she’d lied her way into a job, so thought he’d have some fun with her. He promises he’s a lot more fun than he seems. Joey looks incredibly sceptical.
Leery Dock, better known as The Dock That Launched A Thousand Memes:
Sorry. Just wanted to revisit that.
Dawson tells Jen that it’s okay to be hurt. She insists that she’s not hurt. She’s pissed, because her only real boyfriend (LOL, sucks to be Dawson) enlisted the help of her best friend to dump her. He tells her that being angry at the world isn’t worth the effort and she can’t love again until she lets go of her anger. Jen snort laughs and turns away from him with a “Dawson, I really don’t need one of your sappy self-help seminars right now.” Legit, girl.
Dawson insists he’s just trying to repay the favour from all the times Jen helped him through super suckiness. She taught him that while love comes and goes and partners may change, friendship remains sacred. Right, except with your two so-called best friends. They say some more stuff, but I have no idea what it is because there’s this older guy in the background, rowing down the creek, and he looks really awkward and he has a dog in the boat with him and I just…….?!?!?!?!?! Like, was this intentional?? Or did some old dude just not realise they were filming that day?!
Diva: Bahaha, I did not notice that. I hope it’s the latter, and I hope the guy one day randomly turned on his TV and was like…. “IS THAT ME?!”
K: Jack joins them, and Dawson tells him to take over on Jen Patrol. They exchange apologies, and Jen mopes that life’s just one big long string of apologies. “Sounds like someone’s drowning herself in an economy-sized vat of self-pity…” Jack says. They exchange more apologies, and she says the reason she got so angry is that she needed Jack to be her shoulder to cry on, not the one who gave her the bad news. He hugs her and I have brOTP feels.
He’s been a wreck ever since because he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for Joey to realise that she made a mistake and he’s just a disappointment. He gets teary as he says that he’s been waiting for her to realise that she wants to be with Dawson. Someone deliver Pacey to the Couch of Feels, pronto. He’s in desperate need of a Snark Lady hug.
Diva:
K: Same, girl.
Joey asks what the hell Dawson has to do with Pacey fucking up at school, and Pacey tearily says that Dawson would never have done that.
Joey says he’s right but Dawson would also never inspire her to run away with him for the summer. Pacey gives an adorable little smile. She tells him that they shared something magical, something she’ll remember forever. They’re creating a new history that has nothing to do with Dawson. So, like, the best possible history. This, though, is where things get tough. Their time on the boat was the nauseating love bubble. Now they have to deal with reality.
Pacey sighs and tells her that he’s scared and he thinks he’s going to flunk out. He tearfully says he needs her help. “That’s all you needed to say, Pace,” she says. She tells him they’ll fix it, and everything will be fine. He asks how she knows. She wipes his tears away and says that she’s not going anywhere without him.
This episode is kind of rough, but at the same time? Joshua Jackson knocked it out of the park in that final scene. I mean, how often do you see a teenage guy crying with fear on TV? Not because some supernatural beastie wants to eat his face, but because he fucked up and potentially ruined his future. There’s no manpain here. There’s just pain. And feels. And it’s fabulous. I can’t say that this episode will rank particularly highly for me, but that one scene was great.
Diva: Agreed. I was kind of meh on the whole episode, but Joshua Jackson absolutely destroyed that last scene. And not just because I love him.
Next time on Dawson’s Creek: Pacey and Jen go sailing and there are rough waters ahead in S04 E03 – Two Gentlemen of Capeside.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.
