Supergirl S01 E03 – Nonsense reasons.

Previously: We drank every time someone said cousin and almost didn’t make it.
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Fight or Flight

Samantha: So we open with this thing that’s just like The Flash where Kara kind of tells the viewer who she is and what her deal is. Except that it’s not as charming/hokey as when Grant Gustin does it and I don’t know why. I really want to like this, I swear I’m trying.

Catherine: You shouldn’t have to, though, really. 

Samantha: Anyway, someone must have heard me last post because the episode opens where it left off: with the interview between Cat and Supergirl. Yay! I mean I end up disappointed but yay for now! It starts off with some atrociously bad dialogue. “It’s you,” Cat says, in a vain and clunky attempt to fake us out. “Oh no, I meant to say, who are you?” Uh. I have never meant to ask someone who they are, but then accidentally accused them of being themselves.

Marines: That happened to me once! Just kidding. Never. 

Samantha: Cat begins recording the interview. I’m wondering what kind of phone she has that can clearly catch Kara speaking feet above her. Cat poo poos Supergirl’s origin story because she’s heard it all before. Supergirl gets fiesty? I guess? And dramatically flies to the other side of the roof, with no clear motive, while saying “This is my story.” Cat wants to know where Supergirl was when earthquakes and stuff happened in the past, why is she just showing up now? Is she planning on starting a family? “No one ever asks my cousin these questions,” Kara replies, frustrated with me. (Start the shots.)

I don’t know what they are doing with Cat. Sometimes she’s this no nonsense feminist-ish character and then sometimes she’s this. This whole interview feels like she’s looking for a way to tear Supergirl down, not help build her up, or at least write an unbiased article on her. So I can’t resolve this Cat with the other.

Catherine: Seconded so much. Even though it’s only been 3 episodes it’s like half the time we get this intriguing Cat with interesting feminist opinions and then the other half we get the exact opposite where she’s tear Supergirl down? Pick a lane, show. Oh, wait, spoke to soon. lol. 

Mari: In other news, I don’t actually buy that people don’t constantly ask Superman who he’s dating and if he’ll settle down. I mean, the first question I’d personally ask is, “will you marry me?” so. 

Samantha: Anyway, Cat doesn’t have to deal with her own internalized sexism because the bomb Kara dropped overshadows it, or whatever. Superman is Supergirl’s cousin. Supergirl takes off, declaring the interview over. (M: We get a shot, though, so the fun has just begun.)

Next scene, Kara is eating breakfast at a weirdly trendy looking restaurant place. She finishes off a plate of food just as the waitress drops off a sticky bun while wondering how Kara manages to stay so thin. “I’m an alien,” she deadpans. So, we can add fast metabolism to the Super skill set? Katy, is this canon?

Catherine: It is! Canonically, Superman and Supergirl don’t have to workout. This is actually referenced in the first episode of Lois and Clark when Lois sees Clark’s kitchen cabinets and asks him how he can look like, ‘Mr. Hardbody’ when he eats nothing but junk food. I’m so happy all this previously useless trivia in my brain is finally useful. 

Mari: In that dingy hotel, right? With they payphone inside of it. I know Lois and Clark. 

Samantha: Alex shows up and asks if Kara is okay because she called her a million times the night before. Maybe people just don’t want to talk to you Alex. Then, Jimmy Olson shows up because just like Rosewood, this is the only restaurant. Except that at least Rosewood is a small suburb. Jimmy claims he’s there because it’s the only place that makes this drink he likes: tea. Kara laughs for too long and hard and I just think:

Catherine: A+ 

Samantha: Jimmy lets Alex know that he is aware that she’s in the DEO, despite Kara not having told him. Then he says that he can be trusted with big secrets despite literally all of the evidence being to the contrary, including this moment. Jimmy leaves and Alex accuses her sister of like liking him. Kara claims that they’re just friends but Alex says “Please. You were looking at him like he was one of your sticky buns.” Which. Legit. A news report breaks into this conversation to announce that the Supers are related. They also post a giant ass photo of Supergirl’s face and this is just me and my head exploding over no one ever recognizing her.

Office of Real Jobs That No One Is Ever Really Doing. Winn reprimands Kara for telling Cat the relatives thing and Kara asserts that Cat is a Super Interviewing Villain. She heads into Cat’s office where the villain herself is gloating about scooping The Daily Planet. Kara wonders if maybe Supergirl wanted that on the down low but Cat ignores her to say, “Bulletproof.” Kara wonders out loud if Ms. Grant is asking her if she’s bulletproof and I groan. She didn’t even say it like a question, girl. There was no upward inflection at the end of that word. Cat is actually making plans for “Bulletproof Coffee” Cat lists ingredients and I swear I think she says “unsalted, grass-fed butter”. I know she probably means the cows who are producing said butter but my first image was very strange.

Catherine: Was your first image, perchance, this?: 

Mari: I want all my butter to have once been this happy.

Samantha: Thank you, Catherine, thank you. That is exactly it.

Cat declares that she is going to write the Supergirl expose despite, the implication being, not having actually written in awhile. Then she says, “It’s like riding a bike or severe childhood trauma, you never really lose it.” I take my happiness where I can. The article is going to feature in a special edition of their monthly magazine. Kara is to plan a party at a museum with 1000 guests and also to move Dave out of Cat’s line of sight because his red hair is distracting. Okay. Weird.

Cut to a junkyard of some sort. A tv that’s covered in mud is tuned in to the latest news story about Supergirl. A hella muscular, scarred, Angry Man is basically growling at the screen. He suits up like Iron Man and then destroys the TV with some sort of laser beam when they announce that Supergirl is Superman’s cousin. Shots, shots, shots, shots! Also, what a waste to blast your TV out of temper tantrum anger.

DEO Headquarters. Hank is berating Supergirl for doing an interview. She tries to play it off like it wasn’t an interview which is stupid because that is literally what it definitely was. Hank asks if Keeping Up With the Kryptonians is next and I’m wondering if that would be a better show.

Catherine: I hate Hank and his reasoning but I have to admit that line made me laugh for like 6 full minutes. 

Samantha: Alex questions why Kara even gave the interview and she basically says “because James” and then waxes poetic about hoping it would lead to personal self discovery. Just then, a Code Grey is announced and I pray fervently to Jeff that this means the DEO is tracking Christian Grey and is going to send Supergirl in to destroy him. But my dreams are destroyed because it’s just a pileup on the highway without any alien activity. (C: SO close!) (M: I mean, “alien” might still apply to Christian, but alas.) Supergirl stealthily zips out to head to the scene.

Zoooooooom! We’re zooming through the air to the scene. When Supergirl lands, a civilian helpfully bad acts that there’s a woman still trapped inside the car. She gets the woman out and is then blasted backward by orange laser light. The acting is pretty painful to me as Supergirl yells “Who are you?” and the dude in the B level Iron Man outfit says “I’m just a ghost.” B Iron Man expositions that he wants The Man of Steel to hurt and lose everything, starting with Kara. I laugh and laugh because sorry dude, that asshole does not give a Jeff about his cousin. (M: Jeff continuity I love it so.) They fight for a bit before B Iron Man’s orange laser light short circuits and he flies away.

Hanks tells Supergirl that The Daily Planet calls B Iron Man “Reactron.” Then, this happens.

    It’s still stupid, Kara. Ill probably keep calling him B Iron Man. They don’t know much about him, but he got into a lot of fights with Kara’s cousin. You know what to do.

Catherine: Leave this show and listen to Hamilton? Yes, totally. 

Mari: I’m sorry, what? I now have Satisfied playing on a constant loop in my head.

Samantha: Every moment that I am not working or sleeping, I am doing something Hamilton. Putting that obsession on pause to re watch this episode was hard. I had to Hamilton somewhere.

Kara wants to know what they’re going to do about him. Hank says he’s got 99 problems but a crazy human ain’t one. He won’t risk exposing the DEO. Kara argues that she can’t let this guy run wild, and I wonder yet again why she has to listen to these assholes. You are a superpowered alien. Why are you so intent on following these randos rules? What authority do they have over you? Are they blackmailing you off screen? Hank tells her to call her cousin. Damn Hank, back to back shots? “Superman fights for justice and the American way,” Hank continues.  I don’t know how I haven’t inserted any Holy Musical B@tman gifs into these recaps yet. Here:

Cat Co Headquarters. Cat is having a hard time writing her expose because of imaginary sounds coming from the vents. Which sounds like anyone in school ever. She’s also wearing two pairs of glasses. Sometimes I just really enjoy Calista Flockhart as Cat. (C:This is one of those times where I did, too.)  Kara runs into Jimmy and they banter a bit before Winn shows up to act like a square. He tells them to follow him. He takes them upstairs to an  office that some dude died in, which means that nobody wants it. He has set up a Bat Cave inside, filled with all kinds of electronics to do the Supergirling in. Two things. One, this is a huge freaking company. I do not buy for a second that they can safely bank on no one ever going into this office. Surely HR or a janitor or just like, anyone, will at some point use their own keys to go in there for some reason. Two, what the heck is Winn’s actual job? Where did he get all this stuff? Can he afford it? Did he steal it? Nonsense.

Catherine: I bet his resume just says: ‘sidekick’. 

Mari: Skills include being typecast into the non-existent friendzone.

Samantha: They start running down everything they know about B Iron Man and Winn and Jimmy keeping having these little ego man battle moments that are already getting old. Jimmy expresses the opinion that Kara should call her cousin (I’m drunk, you guys) (C: I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR!) because he has seen what this bad guy is capable of. This is a valid point because it would totally make sense for Supes to help Kara in these early days, kind of mentor her and teach her a little. My issue comes later, with how it goes down. For nonsense reasons Kara is hella against this. She thinks it will make them weak to the bad guys, but wouldn’t the fact that the Supers are willing to team up actually be a bigger deterrent?

Mari: Remember last week when we were beat over the head with the whole TEAMWORK moral of the story and the whole thing where the S actually means, “ask you cousin for help you dummy?” Cool.

Samantha: Anyway, because Jimmy is the actual worst at keeping secrets he name drops Clark as Superman and Winn loses his shit, which is legit.

      Look at Jimmy. He’s not even sorry.

Catherine: My NERD!RAGE of the week is this. This pissed me off SO much, you guys. It’s actually pretty in character for Jimmy to accidentally let it slip that Clark is Superman (more out of awkwardness than maliciousness) which is why Jimmy isn’t supposed to know! Reasons like this! This is why you’re a B-level sidekick and he shipped you off to babysit his cousin, Jimmy. THIS. 

Mari: I don’t even care because Winn’s freakout was entertaining guys and so little on this show is.

Samantha: Kara continues with her nonsensical looks-like-feminism-but-probably-isn’t speech. Absolutely no Superman.

LORD Technologies. Carlisle Fucking Cullen (C: Dr. Hotstuff M.D.) is talking to his peons about some sort of magnetic train? I’m not sure, I’m distracted by who he is. He fires one of them and then B Iron Man busts in through the roof ’cause he’s a drama queen. He declares that he’s looking for someone with a background in nuclear fission. Carlisle volunteers himself and B Iron Man blasts off with him. Some time later, Supergirl shows up and discovers that Carlisle has been taken.

Cat Co. Winn is telling Kara that it isn’t her fault Dr. Cullen got abducted. Right on cue, Alex walks in telling Kara that she can help her find B Iron Man. They head up to the Definitely Totally Secret Forever Bat Cave. Alex says some tech/science mumbo jumbo that boils down to the fact that she figured out who B Iron Man is. Terrorists tried to blow up a nuclear reactor site, but Supes stopped it from happening. Unfortunately, not before two workers were killed, B Iron Man and his wife. Obviously, he actually survived but he blames Kara’s cousin (*sways uneasily on feet*) for his wife’s death. I had to watch the scene twice (bleh) and I think the reason it’s Supes fault is that whatever he did to stop it from exploding, flooded the facility with radiation.

Junkyard of Misplaced Anger. Carlisle is tied up and being snarky while B Iron Man growls at him. Dr. Cullen tries to get B Iron Man to let him analyze his health and see if they can make him better, but dude is not interested. He just wants his suit fixed.

Cat Co. Cat is drinking some champagne when Kara comes in because she finished proofing the Supergirl article. She thinks that the writing is beautiful but the tone is nasty. Then, we go on this CRAZY WEIRD rant about how shitty the Millennial Generation is and I don’t even know what’s happening. Does CBS think old people are watching this show? It’s not like the awful claims are ever refuted or contested, really, so I truly do not understand what they were trying to do. It’s forced and clunky and bullshit. Whaaaaa?

Catherine: This was maybe the weirdest part of a pretty weird episode. I guess CBS thinks it’s exclusively catering to old people. Or they were trying to make us dislike Cat? I honestly don’t know. 

Samantha: Cat also asserts that Supergirl will just call her cousin when things get tough (I welcome this shot right now) just like Millennials call mommy and daddy. SHUT THE JEFF UP I DON’T KNOW WHY THIS IS HAPPENING. I need to move on.

Mari: The millennial thing is DUMB but I also don’t get why calling Superman is such a bad thing! B IRON MAN IS OUT THERE DESTROYING THINGS. Everyone should be like, “GET HELP. WE LIKE OUR BRIDGES AND BUILDINGS.”

Samantha: Agreed. Stupid nonsense.

Jimmy calls Kara outside because they found B Iron Man because Winn found mold? What? Okay. Kara heads out, her plan to first try talking to him. If that doesn’t work she’s going to “punch him really hard until he falls down.”

Zooooom! Junkyard of Misplaced Anger. Kara lands and announces that she’s not there for a fight. She understands what he lost and what went down with her cousin. Holy shit you guys. They say that SO MUCH. Hope everyone has good insurance for the hospital bills.

Catherine: This is why I was surprised when it turned out that the world didn’t seem to know they were related before this episode. Because it feels like she’s been broadcasting it all around town. 

Samantha: She finds Cullen tied up and he snarks “You look taller on tv,” because we aren’t supposed to like him. Kara asks where B Iron Man is and Carlisle says he doesn’t know. Immediately after saying this, the bad guy busts through the wall behind him, so maybe we aren’t supposed to trust Carlisle either. The fight begins and Supergirl is pretty definitely dying when Blurry Superman shows up and chases B Iron Man off. Kara loses consciousness.

Kara’s Swanky Apartment. How much does this assistant make? She’s waking up and Alex and Jimmy are there. She asks after her cousin (oh my god) and I laugh and laugh because dude had to go shave his hands rather than talk to Kara. A news report is on where Carlisle is declaring that Superman saved him. Kara sad pandas before asking how Supes even knew to show up. Jimmy fesses up that he has this weird panic button and that Superman is basically on call for him. He pressed it before Kara even started fighting B Iron Man because he wanted to protect her. This is what I have a problem with. Not that Superman helped her out but that Jimmy went behind her back and decided that he knew what was best for her. The fact that he was right doesn’t make it feel any less gross to me. Maybe I’m being too sensitive, but it just felt icky to me. Yes, Kara was being weirdly unreasonable, I’m not denying that. I dunno, there’s all kinds of annoying stuff going on with all of this.

Mari: I see your point, but also, at the time it didn’t bother me at all. I just think that Jimmy has been put in an awkward position by the other characters and the writing. He was basically sent by Superman to protect Kara, even though Superman can’t be bothered to stick around to see if she wakes up out of a coma, or whatever. That patronizing, “watch out for her” BS is flawed at the core. This moment of, “seriously, will NO ONE call Superman??” rang truer to me than a lot of stuff we’ve seen so far so MEH. I just think everything is stupid.

Catherine: I mentioned this in the livetweet but I’m gonna go ahead and use my nerd knowledge again. The signal watch that Jimmy says he uses to page Superman is actually a Silver Age relic that’s been around since the 50’s. 

It uses a high-frequency ultra-sonic signal that only Superman (and Supergirl) can hear. Superman originally gave it to Jimmy in the comics but then had to take it back since Jimmy kept using it when he wanted help opening peanut butter jars and shit. No joke. Since then it’s had many appearances in comics but I don’t think it’s ever been in a t.v. show before. I seem to remember Jimmy on Lois and Clark having one once but I just Googled it and got nothing so I might be wrong about that. 

Samantha: Also, they say the cousin thing so much in this scene, I’m pretty sure we are all now in comas.

Kara kicks him out and then tries to talk it out with Alex. Part of her issue is that she was sent here to protect Superman, not the other way around. This is a valid thing that I could see this character struggling with. Like I said last post, I wish they would dig deeper into this stuff, the interesting baggage Kara would have from everything that went down when she fell down to Earth.

    Kara realizes that she was supposed to be at Cat’s party already and Alex plays the part of fairy godmother and presents her with a dress. She says that it’s from the DEO closet and I don’t know why the DEO has a closet filled with pretty dresses.

Party Time. Cat storms up to Kara demanding to know where the magazines are. Kara word stumbles before Winn swoops in and bails her out. Phew. Thank goodness there’s always a guy around to keep saving Kara’s job. (C: MAD FACE.) (M: This she’s thankful for. Partnering with her cousin against an alien? GET THEE FROM ME.) Winn says that Kara can repay her debt by dancing with him.

Meanwhile, Cat and Carlisle word sparr and start to dance. Dr. Cullen wants to know how Cat got the exclusive interview. They flirt a little before Cat struts out because apparently it says power to leave your own party early.

DEO headquarters. Hank is walking down a hallway when he suddenly stops and his eyes turn red and holy shit I 1000% forgot about this plot development from last week. He’s probably a bad guy and I didn’t even think about it this whole episode. He super senses (or something) that Alex is still in the building and goes to see what she’s doing. She tells him that she’s helping Kara stop B Iron Man. These two are so boring in a scene together, I can barely pay attention and I’m not watching it again. He decides to pitch in and help too.

Paaaaaaaarty. Kara and Winn are dancing together when Jimmy asks to cut in. Jimmy spiels about how he calls Supes when things get tough and they way it’s written it seriously sounds like he presses that button every time he has a nightmare or something. (C: Basically.) Clark probably regrets giving him that button so hard. He was scared he was going to lose Kara so he pressed the button. She wants him to trust her. Blah blah blah B Iron Man busts in.

Commercial Break. Kara says, “I’m going to slip into something more durable, do not do anything stupid.” 

  

B Iron Man goes to murder Carlisle’s pretty face but Kara kicks him just in time. I wish I could get tights on as quickly as her. He starts shooting her with his orange nuclear lights and this is the point in the episode where my mom went “She’s so stupid. She doesn’t have any kind of plan.” (C: Lol. Moms.) A giant pillar falls and almost smashes Winn but Kara catches it. Then, Winn precedes to up his useless status by just staying under the pillar, probably for a refreshing nap, so that Kara has to stand there holding it off of him for a good chunk of time, instead of trying to stop the bad guy. Jimmy takes this opportunity to declare himself Superman’s BFF so that B Iron Man will chase him.

DEO Ex Machina calls (C: Oh A++) (M: +) and tells Kara that she can stop B Iron Man by encasing his nuclear core in lead. Supergirl melts some probably historical statue and encases her hand in its lead. She fly hugs B Iron Man and they land in a parking lot. Supergirl uses her lead hand to rip out his nuclear core and defeat him. (M: I wonder if getting that lead off will be a pain…)

DEO. Kara thanks them for their help and Hank promises more help in the future. Kara wants to watch a movie with Alex to celebrate but Alex thinks she should go find Jimmy instead.

Cat Co of Oh My God This Episode Isn’t Over Yet? Kara hurries into Jimmy’s office and doesn’t knock. Inside, she finds Jimmy talking to a girl he introduces as Lucy Lane, Lois’s younger sister. Everything is needlessly awkward before Jimmy politely asks Kara to get the Jeff out.

    Kara leaves and then pulls a dick move where she uses her super hearing to eavesdrop. Lucy came because she doesn’t like how they ended things. They decide to get dinner and talk. Kara pouts back to her desk where Winn asks if she wants to go up to their secret office for some Supergirling. Because real work is for suckers. Kara declines and then gets an INSTANT MESSAGE from Clark and this is the best part of the episode because lol. She thanks him for saving her life and he literally says that it won’t happen again with a smiley face. He tells her she’s doing great and cheeses it up with “Guess it was a job for Supergirl.” He refers to her as his family and is this guy for real?

Catherine: BEST part of the episode. Superman using emoticons is forever canon now. 

Samantha: Kara’s Swanky Apartment of Why Is There Still Another Scene Help Me. Kara and Alex are eating and fighting over the last pot sticker. Alex shows her the article Cat wrote and claims that beneath the disdain, Cat respects Supergirl. There’s some more sisterly banter but IDC I’m doooooooone.

Next time on Supergirl: A radio host gets electrocuted in S01 E04 – Livewire.