Previously: Grey did in fact buy the plane seat next to Ana to limit her human interaction.
—
Jessica: The chapter begins with a scene from Grey’s childhood, where he hides in the closet from “him” who often hits Grey and the Crack Whore.
Grey awakens from this bad dream, and as he gets ready for a run, receives a text from Ana saying she’s arrived safely in Georgia. That she’s safe makes him happy, but then he checks his email and of course, there’s a really long one from Ana. It makes his scalp prickle (you know, like when a ghost is nearby?) and he sits down to read it.
It’s titled “Do you like to scare me?” and tackles the fact that he’s electronically stalking her on her trip. (A: Thank goodness it’s only electronic stalking though, right? At least he isn’t, I don’t know… following her all the way there?)
“Yes, you’re very rich, but still it makes me uncomfortable, like you’re paying me for sex.”
So, isn’t the so-called ‘point’ of Christian Grey that he’s rich and handsome, and that’s supposed to make us look past all the terrible stuff he does, like hit his girlfriend when she doesn’t want it and stalk her throughout her life? I guess EL James is trying to hammer the point home that Ana is different and they’re soulmates or whatever, but this is just making it worse. WORSE.
Marines: Yes, the point of Grey is that he’s rich and handsome enough to get away with (probably) murder, but the women who like his money are gold-diggers (as Grey constantly reminds us). Then we have Ana who doesn’t want his money but only because accepting gifts from a man would make her feel like a prostitute. COOL.
J: The email continues. The guy who gave her the massage earlier was gay, so phew, Grey can stand down about that one. (Side note: I really was not expecting to find so much homophobia in this book.) She goes on to say that she super-duper likes Christian but also he scares the crap out of her. Yet despite all this, she signs off that she’s still willing to give it a try.
Mari: “You might actually want to put me in the cargo hold of an airplane, but let’s give it a go!”
J: At least she’s not after his money, right?
Grey is annoyed at being “reprimanded” but also “stunned” that she’s been so honest. This– is not new information, correct? Whatever. He feels there’s hope because she wants to work with him on it, and goes for a run.
Alex: Christian Grey is a world champion in hearing whatever he wants to hear.
J: On the run he thinks back to her email and basically all of her honesty just makes him furious. He sprints like a maniac around the park, barely able to contain his rage that she feels like he’s paying her for sex (how dare she feel that way!) and the only good thing he can think is that she doesn’t want him for his money. He gripes about how her trip away from him doesn’t consider his feelings at all (which are obviously the most important ones). And then, THEN he claims
“I’d never hurt her, physically or emotionally—how can she think that?”
Um, I don’t know Grey, how about all the time she spends crying over you, or how you spanked her into tears, or how you kidnapped her at your parents’ dinner party to hit her in the boathouse? No? No recollection? (M: Tip for Grey: those recollections are probably filed under “for her own good.”)(J: I just threw up in my mouth a little)
Grey returns to his apartment, showers, shaves, dresses (hello, mindless details) and gets down to the important business of running his company writing back to Ana’s email. Literally his first three words are “I am annoyed”. Swoon, am I right?
His annoyance is that Ana is only this open and honest when they’re physically apart. He goes on and on about how rich he is and how it’s his right, dammit, to buy her expensive things and it’s practically her duty to accept them. He also says he doesn’t think of her as a whore (yaaaaaay) but adds he’s “angry that’s how you perceive yourself” and threatens to make her an appointment with his therapist (boooooo).
Alex: This is so awful. These are just textbook emotional abuse tactics. She doesn’t like how she’s being treated? That’s her fault for having such low self esteem and she’d better go see a therapist. She’s angry, so his response is simply to get even angrier. That way he can never be wrong. GIGANTIC red flag.
J: He admits his throw-you-in-a-crate comment was just a joke (hilarious!) and claims “I find the thought of instilling fear in you abhorrent” with which I counter that he is a lying liar face who’s lying pants are definitely on fire. Sadly, not actual fire.
Grey goes on that Ana’s the one who truly has the power and he’s in awe, blah blah. To end, he writes “I shall try to give you the space you need and stay away from you while you are in Georgia” to which all of us who know the future (which is all of us) can shout “LIES!”
Next Grey heads into work. He gets an amazing suspicious idea and asks if the Detroit project has considered Georgia as its site instead. Somehow, the prospect switching everything to roughly 600 miles away doesn’t freak everybody out.
Mari: And the whole point was that Detroit was the best option because of reasons and tax incentives, no? Like… how pissed is everyone who suddenly has to pretend that Georgia is a totally good option and Christian Grey isn’t running his business with his little head?
J: I guess they’re probably just used to it by now. Or so dazzled by his presence that they don’t notice, as his perceptions of them would have us believe.
Then Grey sad pandas about not getting an email from Ana all day, and spends most of his time texting Caroline Acton, fashion expert, she of the “usual enthusiastic” responses. He makes plans to have dinner with Mrs. Rape and wonders “why all the women in my life (are) so nosy” while in the same moment obsessing over where Ana is and what she’s doing. (M: Beautifully noted.)
Oh look, another email! Ana writes that she misses Grey but definitely feels safer far away from his “twitchy palms.” FML.
He writes back, titles the email “Your Behind” and then writes “I am distracted by the title of this e-mail.” So like, by the words you just wrote? What? Maybe Grey should just distract himself from his stalker activities by writing some fan fiction of himself and Ana. Let’s get meta.
As they flirt back and forth through the emails, Grey compares her simultaneously to his mother and his therapist.
When she writes about how she’d like him to unzip her dress, we get this gem:
“Her words travel directly to my dick, passing ‘Go’ on the way.”
I don’t … what? Monopoly is arguably the least sexy board game ever, and like, did the words get money on their way up there? And does that count as paying her for sex? So many questions.
Mari: No, I have questions too! Where is his dick located? That cheap purplish zone worth $40 Monopoly dollars? Is it a utility? Does he have property on it? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
Alex: Damn, you guys already took all the Monopoly jokes. I dunno, something about Community Chest?…
…nope, I got nothing.
J: The emails turn into sexy emails. Like sexts, I guess. Sexmails? Smails? Someone teach these people about texting or instant messaging.
As it ends, Andrea walks in, so I guess Grey is still at work while he’s smailing his girlfriend. Professional. And don’t tell me he doesn’t have a huge boner right now, because Andrea is “startled that I’m pleased to see her.” (A: A-freaking-plus) They have a chat about coffee and she leaves, and that’s how ELJ decided to end her sexy emailing scene.
We get a pointless paragraph about Grey beating up poor Bastille the trainer, before he checks his email again. Ana claims “Laters baby” was actually Elliot’s line originally. Ok…?
Alex: You missed the part where Christian gave his email the subject line ‘Plagiarism’. E. L. James really is just trolling us all, isn’t she?
J: They go back and forth some more and it’s boring. Here’s some examples of our fascinating insights from being part of Grey’s POV now:
“Is she flirting with me? Again?”
“I press send.”
“I hoot with laughter.”
Uuuuuuuuuuuugh. Grey ends this thrilling exchange because he has to meet Mrs. Rape and doesn’t want to be late. He definitely doesn’t tell Ana that.
They’re meeting at a place called The Mile High Club. Classy. I didn’t know if this is a real place or not, but knowing ELJ’s lack of Googling skills, I guessed not. I put my own Googling skills (sorry, skillz) to work and found out that while the Columbia Tower where the club is located is real, it’s actually called the Columbia Tower Club which, while not necessarily all that original, is definitely better than the Mile High Club. Sigh, whatever. Let’s do this.
Mrs. Rape “purrs” when she greets Grey. I guess a counter to his constant growling? She wants to order champagne to celebrate this new girl but Grey’s sticking to wine (sauvignon blanc, for those keeping track at home). Mrs. Rape asks more questions and makes a comment on Ana being a graduate student.
“Oh. A little young for you?”
I arch a brow. “Really? You’re going to go there?”
Elena laughs.
Yep, we’re joking about it folks. Just in case you were still wondering. (M: Ha ha ha, statutory rapist has no room to talk.) (A: Woooooooorst 🙁 )
Eventually, Grey opens up about Ana (more to Mrs. Rape than to his parents, I’ll just add). Mrs. Rape says she notices the effect Ana is having on him AND THEN SHE SUGGESTS HE GO SEE HER IN GEORGIA. Oh my god you guys, it was Mrs. Rape’s idea. See, this is the revelatory stuff we’re supposed to be getting from this book. So little has happened that’s not cut-and-paste that I’m clinging to this moment. THIS IS NEW INFORMATION. I DON’T CARE HOW GROSS IT IS. NEEEEEEWWW.
Mari: I feel like I knew this already…? But I can’t tell if I’ve just talked everything about this series to death and nothing feels new or if it was vaguely mentioned in one of the later books. Clearly, I could research this some but LOL.
A: I also have a feeling that this was mentioned already, but now we’ve sat through this whole terrible dinner scene to flesh out that one tiny detail. Yay?
J: Well, I guess “something that I forgot about” can also fall under the “new” definition here, since there is so, so little of it.
Mrs. Rape says that it drives her crazy how negative Grey is about himself and that if he wants something he should just go get it. She justifies this by assuming that “the poor girl is probably bored to tears down there.” And no, she doesn’t mean down there (or does she?). Um, excuse me lady, but what the fuck do you know?
Mari: This has to be sabotage.
J: Of course, Grey takes about .05 seconds of convincing and he orders champagne and Mrs. Rape gives him a “girlish grin” to finish off the pedo mentions. Yeesh.
Back at home, as a final justification for this insanity, Grey reads Ana’s latest email, in which she guesses his dinner was with Mrs. Rape. He’s certain this demands an answer in person and tells Taylor he’ll be needing the jet in the morning to head to Atlanta. Grey tells us Taylor has “a hint of amusement” in his smile, and I think he’s just helping Ros and Andrea gather even more evidence of Grey’s misuse of company property.
Trauma Flashback:
- Ana starts crying as soon as she lands in Atlanta.
- Ana and her mom visit the beach and her mom tells her to take everything that men say literally. This makes Ana happy because of the “I miss you” things Grey has said, and she conveniently forgets all the “I’ll find you”, “I’ll track you”, “I’ll bind and gag you in a crate” things he’s said.
- Ana gets curious about Grey spending time with Mrs. Rape so she does a Google Image Search and is pleased/surprised to find that she’s the only woman in any of those photos.
- All these emails were copy-and-pasted. So, yeah.
Baby count: 2
Favorite comment last post: EL James: Everyone says that my perfect, masculine, manly man hero is a stalker? I’ll show them!!
*writes that Grey really did buy the plane seat next to her so no one else would be able to sit with her, even though Ana herself thought that behaviour would be way too crazy.*
How does she keep doing this? She’s just proving everyone who criticized Grey as an abusive, stalkery dickwad right. I don’t get it, is this some weird social experiment that a large part of the population has failed? Is she trolling us? This can’t be serious. — Blinvy
Next time on Grey: Grey follows Ana to Georgia on Wednesday June 1, 2011.
I'm a chronic book nerd and love storytelling in all forms. I'm particularly excited by the rise of the television show as an art form with long, cinematically beautiful plots and complex character arcs (I also watch cartoons). My travels in the past handful of years have led me through three continents and most recently landed me among the majestic mountains of Colorado. Some day I will compile all my travel journals/blogs into one place. Some day. Until then, you can find me with craft beer in hand, ready at any moment to deeply and passionately discuss survival tactics for the zombie apocalypse.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I'm a thirty-year-old postgrad living in Scotland. When I'm not writing (which, between my degree and Snark Squad, is almost never) I watch entirely too much TV, and live in constant fear of the day that I run out of things to watch.
