Supernatural S05 E08 – What’s on the telly?

Previously: Dean lost at poker and became an old man.
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Changing Channels

Kirsti: We open at the Motel of the Week. (S: I’m so excited I’m so excited I’m so excited.) “Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience,” Dean voiceovers. Music tinkles and the entire colour palate is a million times brighter and happier than usual. Inside the motel room – which has a huge and very clean kitchen – Dean has made a comically oversized sandwich. A studio audience offscreen cheers and claps. “I’m gonna need a bigger mouth,” he says. Canned laughter.

Sam enters to cheers and applause. Dean asks what’s happening. “Just the end of the world!” Sam says, all upbeat. He then comments on the size of Dean’s sandwich to more canned laughter. Sam asks if Dean’s done his research yet. Dean awkwards, then says he’s definitely been doing research all night. A girl in skimpy underwear walks out of the bathroom, and the unseen audience cat calls. Sam bitchfaces, Dean says “Son of a bitch!” and the audience cheers and laughs some more. In short, it’s Supernatural, the Two and a Half Men version.

We’re treated to Actual Credits, the sitcom version, which features the boys stumbling around like idiots, riding a tandem bike, playing football, and cheesily drinking beer.

Samantha: It is the best thing of ever. Whenever I am sad I put on this cheesy ass credits sequence and I am a little less sad. I may just squee this whole episode. 

K: Legit, girl. Legit.

After the Actual Credits, we’re in Wellington, Ohio, (S: 35 minutes from where I live!) two days earlier. The music switches from happy and upbeat to a moody guitar solo and female singer songwriter. We watch as a woman in light blue scrubs and a man in navy scrubs and a white lab coat get into an elevator. The doors close, they smile at each other, then make out. As they do, the camera pulls back through a TV screen, and pans around to show Dean watching intently. He’s in the Motel of the Week, but it’s much shabbier and more washed out than the sitcom version.

Sam appears from the bathroom and asks what the hell Dean’s watching in a judgy sibling voice. Dean replies that it’s Dr Sexy, MD. Sam asks when Dean went through menopause, and I’mma go ahead and call misogyny shots. Dean pissily turns off the TV and they head out.

Samantha: Oh yeah, sneaky misogyny shots. A couple days ago this sponsored tweet showed up in my feed:

This is also sneaky misogny. I was not pleased.

Anyway. 

K: NO THANK YOU PLEASE. MORE SHOTS.

Cut to a police station and a moustachioed officer asking why the FBI is there. Dean snaps that it’s because a guy got his head ripped off. Officer Moustache claims it was a bear. Dean wants to know if it’s common for bears to chase people out of the woods, into their house, up the stairs, and then rip their heads off in their bedroom. (S: We also don’t have bears in this part of Ohio.) (K: Stop poking the plot holes.) “Depends how pissed off it is, I guess...” Officer Moustache deadpans. The boys look unimpressed.

Sam asks about the dead guy’s wife, who witnessed the attack. Dean asks if she said it was a bear. Office Moustache pauses awkwardly, then says that she went through major trauma and is hella confused. Cut to the boys interviewing her at the police station. After some serious pushing, she reveals that she first thought it was The Incredible Hulk. Sam tries not to laugh. Dean gets “THIS CASE IS AWESOME” face. “Bana or Norton?” he asks, and I literally just realised the hilarity in Eric Bana playing Bruce Banner. (S: I’m cackling. Too bad this is pre-Mark Ruffalo.) But no, it was Lou Ferrigno Hulk. Dean asks if there’s any reason for Lou Ferrigno to have a grudge against her husband, and Mrs Dead Guy is all “…….no?” 

Cut to Dean reading the local paper on Sam’s laptop at the Motel of the Week. Sam comes back from a trip to Dead Guy’s house, and says there’s a Hulk-sized hole in the front door. Dean’s been researching Dead Guy, and tells Sam that he had a horrible temper, including charges of spousal abuse (charming), bar fights, and court ordered anger management.

Sam declares that Dead Guy getting killed by The Incredible Hulk sounds like just desserts. (S: Every time they say this I imagine whipped cream and fudge sauce.) (K: Dammit. Now I want a sundae.) He pulls a handful of chocolate wrappers from his pocket, and says that everything’s starting to make sense. They’re dealing with the Trickster. This was the point at which I started bouncing excitedly in my chair when this episode first aired. Dean’s thrilled because it means he can finally kill the Trickster for killing him a thousand times in Mystery Spot. (S: But did you stop eating tacos, Dean?)

Sam, on the other hand, is all “NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE” on account of he had to live through Dean dying a thousand times, and then the horrible six months of self destructiveness that came afterwards.

Samantha: It’s interesting that we never really talk about how Sam remembers those six months. They didn’t get wiped away, he has entire six months of life where he was a disaster and no one else in the world remembers it with him. Trauma Alert.

K: And not only does he have to remember his brother dying a million times, and then living without him for six horrible months, he also has to remember the fact that for a brief moment? He genuinely thought he’d murdered Bobby.

He wants to find the Trickster and talk to him, because maybe he hates the whole angel/demon war as much as they do and will want to help out. Dean’s totally not on board with this. Sam says they should at least try before killing him. Dean reluctantly agrees.

Cut to Dean sharpening stakes and listening to the police scanner as Sam stares moodily out the window. I can’t stop laughing, because the scene is shot through the open window, but the gauzy curtains are floating around, so all I can think of is this:

Samantha: A+.

K: Thank you.

Aaaaaaaaanywho. The panicked cop on the end of the radio says there’s something totally hinky going on at the old paper mill, and to send literally everyone because he can’t describe what he’s seeing. The boys spring into action.

Cut to the boy climbing out of the Bromobile at the paper mill. There are no police cars anywhere, so obviously they’re all “UGH, TRAP”. They gear up and head inside. But on the other side of the door, they find themselves in surgical scrubs and lab coats as gently wafting guitar music tinkles. The boy get “WTF IS HAPPENING” faces. Sam’s confused face screams “BUT DEAN, I’M PRE-LAW”. (S: Hahahahahahaha.)

Attractive nurses and student doctors wander past, smiling and calling them both ‘Doctor’.

Samantha: Ahem. 

K: YES. I am on board with this.

More confused looks from the boys. Dean opens the door they just walked through, but instead of outside, he finds a janitor’s closet and a couple of hospital staff making out. More confused looks. Just then, the incredibly petite woman from the earlier Dr Sexy clip walks up to them. She slaps Sam across the face and says “Seriously?” a bunch of times, just in case we weren’t sure this was a Supernatural version of Grey’s Anatomy. She tells him that he’s a brilliant coward and stalks off.

Sam’s all “The fuck just happened??”. Dean informs him that that’s “Dr Ellen Piccolo” (I’m sure Ellen Pompeo really thanked the showrunners for that one). He joins the dots – especially after seeing the sign above the nurses’ station that says “Seattle Mercy Hospital”, and announces in a total fanboy way that they’re in Dr Sexy, MD. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, the boys wander the corridors looking awkward and attempt to work out what the hell is going on. Sam’s only theory is that the Trickster trapped them in TV Land. Dean declares that to be a stupid theory, because TV is fake and this is real. Fake!Cristina wanders past, then Dean spots Fake!Denny, who’s dead in this universe too (sadly, they didn’t cast Jeffrey Dean Morgan in that bit role, but it would have been glorious), and then Fake!Izzy. (S: Wow. The Grey’s Anatomy context I’m suddenly getting is glorious.) (K: I’m just glad the years I spent watching Grey’s Anatomy are finally coming in handy.)

Sam says the show sounds terrible, and Dean counters that “It’s compelling“, then awkwards when Sam gets judgey. But then Dean’s entire face lights up like he’s just seen Cas appear, because Fake!McDreamy, aka Dr Sexy has arrived.

But sure. Dean is TOTALLY straight.

Dr Sexy walks up to them and demands to know why Dean disobeyed his orders and performed an experimental face transplant. Dean has a squirmy little fanboy moment, and I’m pretty sure he’s got an awkward boner right now. (S: Have we seen the awkward boner since Xander used to get them?) (K: I think from memory, Sam had one in the werewolf episode?? Damn that Murder Penis and its awkward boners.) (M: Editor’s note: We have a tag for that.)

He glances at the ground while thinking up an answer, and spots that Dr Sexy is wearing ugly white tennis shoes. Dean slams Dr Sexy up against a wall, and declares that he’s not Dr Sexy. Because “part of what makes Dr. Sexy sexy is the fact that he wears cowboy boots.” Um. a) That doesn’t sound sexy at all, b) that sounds like a TERRIBLE idea from a hygiene perspective, and c) cowboy boots and scrubs?? AHAHAHAHAHA.

“Yeah. You’re not a fan...” Sam deadpans in the background. Dr Sexy demands that someone call security. Dean’s all “LOL NOPE, WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE”. All the other characters suddenly freeze, and Dr Sexy morphs into the Trickster. “You guys are getting better!” he says, all bouncy happy puppy on a trip to the park. (S: HEY TRICKSTER HEY THERE!) Dean glares, the Trickster sasses that their wooden stakes are gone, Sam bitchfaces as he realises it was the Trickster on the police scanner. The Trickster says he couldn’t resist messing with them some more.

Sam begs for five minutes of his time, because they just want to talk. “Lemme guess. You two muttonheads broke the world, and you want me to sweep up your mess…” he replies. He tells the boys that if they survive the next 24 hours in TV Land, then they can talk. Dean asks what the rules are, and the Trickster smirks before vanishing.

The hospital comes back to life around them. They resume wandering the corridors, trying to come up with a plan. Fake!Meredith appears and tries to slap Sam again. He tells her to slow her roll because he’s not really a doctor. She goes into a teary spiel about how he’s the “finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met“. Dean makes ridiculous facial expressions in the background. (S: The facial expressions are the best part of the episode.) (K: Truth.) Fake!Meredith insists that it’s not Sam’s fault a girl died on his operating table, but that he can’t be afraid to operate or love again. Dean eyerolls. She dashes off in tears, and Sam agrees that they should get the fuck out.

A bearded guy walks out of a nearby patient room to beg Dean to perform the experimental face transplant on his wife. Dean snaps that none of this is real and his wife doesn’t need a damned thing. He and Sam resume walking. Bearded Guy pulls out a gun and shoots Dean in the back. Dean spins around with a facial expression best described as “HOW DARE YOU?” before dropping to his knees. “Real. It’s real,” he gasps. Sam screams for a doctor.

Cut to Dean face down on an operating table. For some reason, he’s not under anaesthesia. (S: This has always bugged the shit out of me and makes the ridiculous even more so. Maybe the point?) Sam’s in a scrub cap dabbing gingerly at the bullet wound as attractive interns and nurses give him relevant patient stats. Fake!Cristina offers Sam a scalpel, and he’s all “I’M PRE-LAW, DAMMIT!!”. Eventually, he realises none of the other characters are going to do anything, and demands what he DOES know how to perform surgery with: “I need a penknife, some dental floss, a sewing needle, and a fifth of whisky.” The other doctors look confused, but comply.

Cut to Sam finishing his makeshift surgery, and assuring Dean that he’s going to be fine. He looks up to see Fake!Meredith crying in the observation area and mouthing “I love you” through the glass. Suddenly, the scene changes and we hear cheering and applause. The floor Dean’s staring at becomes two big metal doors. The doors open, and a Japanese gameshow host in a spectacularly shiny silver suit appears.

The camera follows him onto the gameshow floor, where the boys are back in their normal clothes. They’re each strapped into a device that looks a lot like they’re about to go snowboarding. Except as if the snowboard has a metal pole with a large ball on the end of it aimed right at your groin. “Let’s play Nutcracker!” Shiny Suit yells. The crowd cheers. The boys look confused.

Shiny Suit turns to Sam, and asks him a question in Japanese. Handy dandy subtitles inform us that the question is “Sam Winchester, what was the name of the demon you chose over your own brother?“. A clock starts counting down from 20. Sam awkwards that he doesn’t understand Japanese. Shiny Suit repeats the question. Sam still doesn’t understand. The clock reaches 0. Shiny Suit apologises to Sam, and Sam’s all “WHAT? WHY?”. Shiny Suit hides a smirk. The metal pole shoots up, and the large ball whacks Sam squarely in the dick. Sam doubles over in agony. Dean looks like he might puke.

Samantha: I was always like, well thank god they didn’t understand that question, I am not in the mood for THAT angst again.

K: Ahahahaha, TRUE. There’s a fun story that Jared and Jensen told at a convention about this scene, namely that the machine would stop at a certain point, but Jared was told under no circumstances to move his hips or he’d genuinely get whacked in the nads. Only Jared kept forgetting where the danger zone was, and then freaking out every time they got to this point of the scene. Legit, dude. That thing is terrifying.

“NUTCRACKER!!” screams Shiny Suit. We’re treated to several slow-mo shots of Sam getting whacked in the goolies. Shiny Suit is interrupted by one of the scantily clad women scattered about the place. He wanders over to her, and they do an advert for shrimp chips, which allows Dean to ask if Sam’s okay. He’s pretty not okay on account of just getting hit in the jewels.

Just then, there’s a banging on the doors behind them. “Now what?!” Dean says nervously. The doors burst open and Cas walks in. He’s all “The fuck are you doing here??”, because they’ve been missing for days. Sam demands that Cas rescue them. Cas goes to place a hand on each of their foreheads, but vanishes in a burst of static before he can. “Mr. Trickster does not like pretty-boy angels,” Shiny Suit explains with a wagging finger.

He turns to Dean and asks another question: “Would your mother and father still be alive if your brother was never born?“. (S: Damn. These questions, man.) The countdown starts. Dean panics. Sam hurridly says that seeing as he was able to operate on Dean in Dr Sexy, the trick to winning the game might be playing the role the Trickster wants them to play. So in theory, Dean should be able to answer the question in Japanese.

Dean slams down his buzzer just as the countdown reaches zero. “The answer is…yes?” he says, in hesitant Japanese, grimacing as he braces for a ball to the balls. Shiny Suit declares him to be the Nutcracker Champion. Sam sighs in relief and says they just have to play their roles to survive. “Play our roles for how long?” Dean asks worriedly as he waves to the studio audience. Fade to black.

We’re treated to an actual commercial, courtesy of Supernatural. It’s one of those adverts for prescription medication that are illegal everywhere but America, because the rest of the world thinks a medically trained professional should be the one prescribing medication. (S: Wait. What? You don’t have these terrifying the-side-effects-are-worse-than-the-thing commercials?) (K: Nope. All we get ads for are over the counter medication, like cough syrup, ibuprofen, and antihistamines.)

The ad’s for genital herpes medication, and it stars a very reluctant Sam Winchester.

In short, it’s fucking hilarious. It finishes with Dean rattling off the ick-tastic possible side effects. Fade to black for real.

After the Actual Commercial Break, we return to Supernatural, The Sitcom. Sam ushers Dean’s latest conquest out of the Motel of the Week – without her clothes, which is even worse than without her stuff – and the boys proceed to have an awkward “HOW LONG DO WE HAVE TO KEEP DOING THIS??” conversation under their breath while the studio audience laughs and claps.

Cas bursts in, his nose bloody, and informs them that what they’re up against is way more powerful than it should be, and that he suspects it’s not a Trickster at all. Just then, he’s hurled across the room into a wall. The Trickster bursts in through the door, and the audience cheer. Cas pops up with duct tape over his mouth. “Hi, Castiel!” the Trickster says cheerfully. He gestures, and Cas, after a flash of recognition, vanishes in another burst of static.

Dean stomps over to the Trickster and snaps that he’s done with “the monkey dance“, which I mention only because it reminds me a lot of Xander in Buffy vs Dracula: “I’m done being everybody’s butt monkey!”. They’ve played his game by playing their roles, and now they’re done. Except not. Because the Trickster says that’s only HALF the game. The other half is that he wants them to play their roles in the real world – as the vessels for Lucifer and Michael. (S: At this point I’m always like, I am not ready for the main story, more tv spoofs please.)

Sam points out that if they do, the world will end. The Trickster snarks “And who’s fault is THAT?” He raises an eyebrow at Sam. Dean demands to know which side he’s working for. The Trickster glares, then grabs Dean and slams him against the wall. “Don’t you ever, EVER presume to know what I am,” he hisses. The boys look confused. He releases Dean, and says that they’re going to play their roles in the real world, or they’ll stay in TV Land forever. He snaps his fingers.

Cut to a park at night. A man lies dead on the ground, crime scene techs working around him. The boys stand outside the crime scene tape in matching navy suits, blue shirts, and sunglasses. At night. “Oh, come ON…” Dean gripes. He pulls off his sunglasses to bitch that only “no-talent douchebags” wear sunglasses at night. He hates the game and the fact that they’re in a procedural cop show because every single one is exactly the same. Sam spots a tech over near the body sucking a lollipop. They immediately decide that it’s the Trickster.

Music vaguely reminiscent of The Who starts playing. The boys put their sunglasses back on, and head over to the body. The tech walks them through what they’ve found, complete with CSI-esque slow-mo close ups. The Zoomy Cameraman must have loved this episode. The boys offer terrible David Caruso-esque one liners in reply – the worst is by far Dean’s “no guts, no glory” over the dead guy’s stab wound to the gut.

When the tech’s not looking, Dean grabs a stick and dips it in the dead guy’s blood. The tech laughs at their terrible one liners while sucking on his lollipop. Dean comes around behind him, and stabs him in the heart with his dead guy’s blood stick. We’re treated to a close up of a heart being pierced by a piece of wood (S: Yuck.) He bleeds to death on the ground. No one notices, except for a cop in uniform who morphs into the Trickster to gloat that they got the wrong guy. Except they didn’t. Sam’s ready and waiting with another stick, and stabs the Trickster. In an instant, they’re back in the warehouse in their normal clothes, the Trickster dead on the floor. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, we’re back at the Motel of the Week. But the dingy, real world version. Dean brushes his teeth while being worried about Cas, who hasn’t turned up after being vanished by the Trickster. He comes out of the bathroom to find that Sam’s nowhere to be seen. Dean heads out to the Bromobile and phones Sam, leaving a voicemail. He hops in the car, and Sam’s voice – kind of echo-y- says “Dean?“. He looks around, but Sam’s nowhere to be seen.

Dean asks where Sam is, and Sam has no idea. But as he talks, Dean notices that there’s a red light on the dashboard flashing in time with Sam’s words. “Oh, crap. I don’t think we killed the Trickster…” Sam says. Cut to the Sam-mobile driving down a road as the Knight Rider theme song plays. Dean says that the stake didn’t work, and asks the Sam-mobile if this is another trick. Sam-mobile suggests that maybe Cas was right, and the Trickster isn’t a Trickster at all. (S: Prolly should have considered what Cas said right away guys.)

Dean looks thoughtful, and points out that the Trickster looked at Cas like he knew him. Jealous boyfriend, much? Sam-mobile points out how pissed the Trickster got when Dean mentioned Lucifer and Michael. Dean joins some dots, and says he knows what they’re dealing with. He pulls over, and rummages through the boot of the car, looking for something. Sam-mobile says awkwardly that it’s really uncomfortable. HAHAHA, BECAUSE IT’S HIS BUTT, GEDDIT? -_- (S: Worst joke of the episode.)

Basically, Dean’s grand plan is to yell that they’ll say yes to Michael and Lucifer. The Trickster appears, and sasses the Sam-mobile, who replies with a pissed off “Eat me“. Dean says they’re not doing anything until Sam’s human again. The Trickster snaps his fingers with an eyeroll, and Sam steps out of the Bromobile, rubbing his butt. Dean asks why the stake didn’t work, and the Trickster grins “Well. I am the Trickster!“. “Or maybe not…” Dean replies.

Sam flicks a lighter and drops it to the ground, and the Trickster is trapped in a circle of fire. “Maybe you’ve always been an angel,” Dean finishes. The Trickster laughs and says they’re crazy. Dean’s all “Okay, jump out of the magic fire then.” (S: My OHMYGOD when this originally aired was loud.) (K: Same.)

There’s a burst of static, and they’re back at the warehouse, the Trickster trapped in the circle. He gives them a round of applause, and asks where they got the holy oil. “You might say we pulled it out of Sam’s ass…” Dean smirks. Sam gives him “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU” face.

Samantha: Is it supposed to be leftover from the time they trapped Raphael? Because Cas goes on a whole huge thing about how it’s so hard to get.

K: Yeah, they suddenly seem to have an awful lot of very difficult to find holy oil. This show has never been great at consistency…

The Trickster asks how they knew, and Dean says that it was the way he talked about the Apocalypse. No one sounds that pissed off about something unless family is involved, apparently. Uh, okay, show. (S: I know, right? Whut?) Whatever. They ask who he really is, and he reluctantly admits that he’s the archangel Gabriel.

 

Being the Trickster was basically witness protection. He loves his family, and he couldn’t stand to watch them attacking each other, so he bailed and came to Earth. Sam asks him to help them stop it. Gabriel laughs, and says it can’t be done. What they call the Apocalypse is what his family calls Sunday dinner.

Then he points out that the reason the boys are the vessels is that they fulfill Michael and Lucifer’s personalities perfectly: “Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father, and Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy’s plan.” He says this is their destiny, they were born to it. The boys are all “EXCUSE YOU”. One brother, Gabriel finishes, must kill the other. That’s why he’s always been so interested in them. So……..Sam is Voldemort, Dean is Harry Potter, and Gabriel is Dumbledore, yes?? (S: Lol, okay, sure.)

The boys insist that they’re never going to fight to the death, and Gabriel’s all “Stiff shit, yo. It ain’t going to end pretty like a TV show does.” It’s going to end bloody, he says, for all of them. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Dean insists that Gabriel bring Cas back. Gabriel glares a little, but snaps his fingers. Cas reappears with a raging case of bitch face. He and Gabriel trade barbs for a minute before Dean Winchester, mother hen, ushers Sam and Cas towards the door. Gabriel’s all “What, you’re going to leave me in a circle of holy oil forever?”. Dean glares at him, and yells that he and Sam don’t fuck with people like Gabriel does, so NO.

He yells that this isn’t about a fight between brothers. It’s about Gabriel being too much of a coward to stand up to his family. You know, like Dean when Sam and Papa Winchester used to fight… (S: Takes one to know one?) He pulls the fire alarm, and by some miracle, the sprinkler system in this abandoned warehouse is in perfect working order. “Don’t say I never did anything for you,” Dean shouts. I, meanwhile, am laughing over the fact that the transcript I’m using says “apparently in this world water extinguishes grease fires instead of spreading them”. Good point, random transcriber. Good point. (S: Hahaha it’s because we’re still in tv land, technically! TV Land Inception!)

Outside, the boys head back to the Bromobile. Dean asks if Sam thinks what Gabriel was saying is true, and Sam shrugs but says he thinks Gabriel thinks it’s true. They agree that they’d rather be back in a TV show, and we fade to black.

This episode is totally silly, and yet manages to be a really great mix of silliness and Actual Overarching Story Progression. Richard Speight Jr. does a brilliant job as the Trickster, as always, but it’s wonderful to see that extra layer of depth added to his character following the big reveal that he’s an archangel. So on the whole, this one’s a win from me.

Samantha: Same. One of my favorite episodes because of the brilliant balance and the edition of Richard Speight, Jr. Supernatural at some of its creative and acting best. 

 

Next time on Supernatural: The boys catch up with Chuck and find themselves in a very awkward situation in S05 E09 – The Real Ghostbusters.