Previously: The boys went to TV Land and it was fun.
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The Real Ghostbusters
Samantha: The boys are burning rubber in the Impala as dramatic music plays. They pull up to a hotel and hurry out of the car when Dean double takes because there are several other ’67 Chevy Impala’s in the parking lot, exactly like Baby. Sam tells him to hurry up and we see Chuck pacing outside of the hotel. They hurry over to him and he seems super confused as to why they’re there. Sam is all “You sent me a text, bro and said it was life or death.” Chuck denies this and Dean is pissed because they drove all night. Realization seems to hit Chuck’s face and he oh nos. We hear Becky’s OMG voice say, “Sam!” and squealing. She runs up and Sam remembers her name which causes her to almost orgasm. Dean eye rolls hard and Becky says that Sam seems to have been thinking about her.
Kirsti: Legit eyeroll, Dean. Legit.
Samantha: Sam awkwards in a big way and Becky says, “It’s okay, I can’t get you out of my head either.” She says that she borrowed Chuck’s phone (from his pants) and texted the boys because they’re gonna want to see what’s going on. Uh, that is pretty not cool and manipulative, Becky. In unison, the boys ask, “See what?” and she squees over them talking at the same time which is legit. A man with a clipboard comes out to call Chuck inside. He apologizes to the boys for everything and heads in. Our boys looks dazed and confused but head inside.
As they cross the threshold, a man dressed identically to Dean walks past and laughingly says, “Hey Dean, lookin good!” to the real Dean. Real Dean asks who the hell this guy is. Cosplay!Dean eye rolls hard and says, “I’m Dean too, duh.” Dean turns to exchange glances with Sammy and they spot the evil Scarecrow from episode 1×11 “Scarecrow” come around the corner. Except that it’s another guy in a costume and he’s drinking a can of pop. “Uh-oh, it’s Sam and Dean, I’m in trouble now. Have fun you two,” he tells them before heading off. Dean says, “Whut?” before the camera guy shows us a multitude of Supernatural characters including, Bloody Mary, the evil clown Raksasha from season 2, Bobby, people with black eyed contacts in, Ash, and SPN memorabilia (love the Impala mugs).
I’m going to take a moment to talk about how this episode really highlights how few female character cosplay opportunities really exist, especially at this time, and especially when compared to male characters.
K: TRUE. Unless you want to do a genderbent Winchester brother, you’re probably going to end up going as a dead character. SIGH.
Samantha: And it’s totally cool to do a gender bend but at the end of the day, female characters are lacking. DOUBLE SIGH.
Anyway, they ask Becky wtf this is and she goes, “Iiiiiitt’s awesome!” because it’s the first ever SPN convention.
BLOOOOOOOOOOOD!
The Clipboard Man gets up on a stage and welcomes everyone. He also gives a run down of the itinerary:
3:45 “Frightened Little Boy, the Secret Life of Dean” (lolololol)
4:30 “Homoerotic Subtext of Supernatural”
K: This is pure fan service, but I don’t even care.
Samantha: Same same same, it’s so funny.
But first up is Carver Edlund! I am going to prelude with the fact that these fake Supernatural books end with Season 3. They stopped being published just after Dean goes to Hell, just for clarity’s sake. So, Chuck takes the stage and is immediately awkward. I feel like I’ve already used that word a lot this post but it is just truly what is frequently happening. He chugs some water while everyone stares at him and then asks if anyone has questions. Obviously every Supernatural fan everywhere has a lot of questions, myself included. He calls on someone dressed as Sam and he asks how he came up with Sam and Dean. Chuck glances at the boys, who are staring at him like “yeah, Chuck? However did you?” Chuck stammers out that it just came to him.
He next calls on someone in Hook Man get up and Hook Man asks why Sam and Dean’s weapons are always getting knocked out of their hands during fight scenes and why don’t they use some sort of bungee? This is also legit. Sam cocks his head in a “huh, why DON’T we?” way. The guys’ reactions are pretty hilarious here.
K: Sam’s head cock + facial expression is COMEDY GOLD.
Samantha: Hook Man follows up with another question before Chuck can answer because he probably just wants to lay all his criticisms out there. He thinks it’s BS that the boys don’t know Ruby is evil and Becky gets pissed and yells “Hey, if you don’t like the books, don’t read them, Fritz!” Hmm, not quite Becky. I criticize SPN all the time, but it doesn’t negate my great love for the show. Chuck calls on another guy who wants to know what happens after Dean goes to hell. Chuck announces that thanks to a wealthy Scandanavian investor, he’s going to start publishing again. Sam and Dean look HELLA MAD.
K: Their monumental bitchfaces are kind of hilarious.
Samantha: Facial expressions win this episode.
I am now going to take a moment to mention that this episode also weirdly makes all of the fans with a speaking roles, outside of Becky, male. Which is another weirdly skewed male thing. I have to point this stuff out because it really bugs me.
We are now in the hotel bar, where Chuck is bringing a Yellow Eyed Cooler drink over to Becky. For real, I want to drink that. Chuck starts to try and ask Becky out when Sam shows up and cock blocks by his mere proximity because Becky fan girls. Dean starts yelling at Chuck about how they don’t have time for this and Chuck protests that he didn’t call them. Sam clarifies that Dean is talking about the books because why is he publishing again? Chuck snarks, “Um. For food and shelter?” Do the angels not provide for their prophets? (K: RUDE.) Dean is furious and Sam tells Chuck that the deal is off because their lives “are not for public consumption.” Chuck asks Becky to excuse them for a moment.
They head out into the hall and Chuck complains about how he doesn’t have any skills and he’s not the hero. “Until the world ends, I gotta live.” This conversation is cut short by the sounds of a woman shrieking. The boys run towards it while Chuck tries to call them back and explain what it is.
The run up to a maid and ask if she’s okay. She is, but she saw a ghost! “A ghost?” cosplay!Sam (the one who asked a question earlier) asks because a whole horde of cosplayers have shown up behind Sam and Dean. Dean tries to dismiss them but is ignored. The maid goes on to talk about how she saw a woman dressed in old school marm clothes and that this is a terrifying tale of terror! It dawns on the boys that they’re LARPing as themselves and they huff away. How is it already 7 pm? It was only like midday when Chuck gave his Q&A. Did they wait hours and hours before confronting him?
K: Mostly I’m sad that we didn’t get to see the other panels.
Samantha: Becky comes over and explains about the Live Action Roll Playing that the convention is putting on. She hands them a piece of paper that is supposed to be from “Dad’s Journal” and explains that the hotel is haunted and whoever can find the bones wins a Sizzler gift card.
We cut to the LARPers dressed as FBI agents and interviewing the clipboard man from earlier. They are all using rock aliases and the clipboard man explains that the hotel used to be an orphanage run by a mean woman named Laticia Gore. She went insane and killed 4 little boys and herself. Sam and Dean half listen and Jensen is acting with his lips a lot this episode. Uh….not that I am watching his lips….or anything. Look:
K: Meanwhile, I’m distracted by the fact that THOSE COSPLAYERS CHANGED COSTUMES IN BETWEEN INTERVIEWING THE MAID AND THE MANAGER.
Samantha: It’s hardcore.
Dean doesn’t think that he can take anymore and Sam says that it can’t get any weirder. Cue cosplay!Dean and cosplay!Sam walking by quoting at each other. cosplay!Dean quotes, “Dad said I may have to kill you,” and cosplay!Sam responds “Kill me? What the hell does that mean?” They are using their most gravelly voices, which is funny. The real Sam and Dean turn to each other and at the same time say, “I need a drink,” which is very lovable.
Samantha: Oh my god oh my GOD that is the funnest of facts!!!!!!
One of the cosplayers is using a cardboard EMF (which he says is going nuts) and creeping around alone. He shall now be known as Solo Cosplayer because this is going to get confusing otherwise. A woman dressed as Laticia Gore jumps out and acts like a ghost. She tells him that she’s buried in the basement and he shoots her with a dart gun. He’s miffed when she doesn’t vanish and she wants to know how exactly she’s supposed to do that.
Solo Cosplayer is talking on a cell phone to his cosplay partner when the very real ghost of a little boy appears, asking for help because Miss Gore won’t let them have fun. When the little boy disappears he freaks out and takes off running. He’s in a room and in the middle of explaining how awesome this is when he’s picked up by his ankle (by nothing visible) and thrown around the room. The real ghost of Miss Gore appears and says “Naughty, naughty, naughty” and Solo Cosplayer is dropped to the ground.
K: MORE CREEPY CHILDREN. WHY. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY.
Samantha: Sam and Dean are drinking at the bar when Dean notices the actress playing Miss Gore on her phone nearby. He tells her that she looks lovely for a dead chick and she scoffs while staring at her phone. She’s in the middle of turning him down when she finally looks up and sees that it’s Jensen Ackles and is much more interested. This is interrupted by Solo Cosplayer entering the bar and yelling about how there really is a real ghost upstairs. The boys wander over to talk to him but he’s cranky and declares that he’s leaving because this isn’t part of the game. Sam and Dean decide that this must be for realsies.
We cut to Clipboard Guy giving his spiel again to a group of LARPers and the boys walk by disdainfully. Instead, they approach another hotel employee who isn’t part of the game and doesn’t really want to play. Dean slips him a fifty and he tells them that the story of Miss Gore is entirely true and tonight is even the actual anniversary. Is it a full moon too?
As the hotel guy goes on to tell them that people have claimed to see their ghosts over the years, Cosplay!Sam and Cosplay!Dean sidle up, listening close. Dean wants to know where the murders went down but has to hand over another fifty to get the answer: the attic. Because if it’s not the basement, it’s the attic. What about a haunted bathroom once in awhile?
K: NO. I REFUSE. That means there’d be a chance that my house is haunted, because while we have neither an attic nor a basement, we have two bathrooms.
Samantha: The guys head into the attic of Seriously? Of Course It’s Haunted and it looks like it has never been cleaned. This is a functioning modern hotel, how is it that they’ve never had to clean out this code violation attic? Sam says that the EMF is going nuts, just like Solo Cosplayer said earlier. They talk about the obvious uh oh of this situation: real ghost around fake Hunters making it mad. Dean is also pissed and says that it serves the fake Hunters right.
Cosplay!Sam and Dean are wandering around upstairs. Cosplay!Dean says, in gravelly voice, that it’s gotta be around here somewhere. Cosplay!Sam responds in normal voice that no one else is looking for the attic. Cosplay!Dean breaks character to tell Cosplay!Sam not to break characters because, “if it’s just me, I look stupid.” He thinks the attic is part of the game. Right as he says this, one of the ghost little boys shows up, again pleading for help to have fun. Cosplay!Sam marvels at the makeup but Cosplay!Dean uses his gravel voice to ask where she’s buried.
Ghost Boy points at the painting at the far end of the hallway and disappears while their backs are turned. (“Whoa, fast runner,” Cosplay!Sam says in gravel voice.) On the wall next to the painting and on the back of it as well, are tiny bloody hand prints. They open the back and find a worn and yellowed map. They geek out over how cool the game is.
Meanwhile, still in the Attic that Needs a Good Dusting, a new ghost boy appears with his hands over his head. He says “My mommy loves me,” and Sam gets a little Sammymotional (K: A+) and tells him “I’m sure she does.” Ghost Boy says that his mommy loves his this much and opens his arms wide, showing up his scalped head. Yuck. Then he disappears.
Back at the bar, Becky is drinking her Yellow Eyed Cooler and gazing at Sam, who’s on the phone. He acknowledges her so she licks her hand and blows it at him, as you would a kiss. I wish I was making this up. She keeps making come hither faces at him as the camera pans out and we see Chuck sitting right next to her. “Awesome,” he says sarcastically, and drinks his drink.
Sam sits down at a table with Dean and reports that he was talking to the County Historical Society. Good thing someone was still around after 7. (K: Ha. Hahahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHA. As if.) He says that one of the boys Laticia murdered was her own son, whom she scalped. Dean calls her “this bitch” so misogyny shots. Duly earned this episode, I think. Sam’s guy didn’t know where she was buried. But he knew all those other details? Anyway, this is interrupted by cosplay!Sam talking loudly about the secret map they found. Cosplay!Sam and Dean are sitting at a nearby table talking about how there’s a cemetery on the grounds, according to the map. Our Sam and Dean head over to their table. Sammy touches the map for a second and declares it real and a century old. Dean says to hand it over but cosplay!Dean says no way and flashes a water gun. Cosplay!Sam tells him to calm down just as real Dean goes to pull out his real gun and real Sam tells him to knock it off. It’s hard to recap but fairly amusing to watch. Sam tells the cosplayers that it will go faster if they all work together. Cosplay!Sam and Dean agree, but only if they get the gift card and get to be Sam and Dean.
Cut to the foursome outside, heading to the cemetary. Cosplay!Dean tells “Rufus” and “Bobby” to hurry up. Lol. As they walk, cosplay!Sam and Dean reinact a scene from 1×10, “Asylum.” Dean and Sam have hilarious pained looks as it goes on. Finally Dean can’t take it and starts gruffly yelling and wondering why they would want to be Sam and Dean. They’re all like, “uh….cause we’re fans? Like you? Considering you’re in the get up?” but Dean declares them not fans because the story sucks. “It’s a river of crap that would send most people howling to the nuthouse. So you listen to me: their pain is not for your amusement.”
K: This actually kind of hurt because remember back in season 1 when Dean was constantly telling Sam how awesome their lives were? Yeah. That.
Samantha: Oh. Oh. oh.
Cosplay!Sam and Dean are hilariously like “Dude. It’s fiction? Chill out?” But Dean just storms away and Sam tries to cover with “He uh…he takes the story really seriously.” It’s all pretty funny.
Shoveling! Dean is getting down and dirty in the grave when the wind starts to pick up. Here’s the thing. Why aren’t they salting and burning the boys too? They are also ghosts? Shouldn’t they be laid to rest or whatnot? (K: Also, why is Dean the only one digging?) (S: There was a Rock, Paper, Scissors we didn’t see.) Anyway, Dean pries open the casket and the cosplayers freak out when it’s a real body inside. They’re declaring the boys insane when Laticia Gore shows up and whallops Sam while chanting the word naughty. How were they not prepared for her? She goes after the cosplay guys and starts squeezing their chests while Dean quickly salts her bones. He lights her up and she disappears.
We are once again at the bar where Dean is paying for the cosplayers’ drinks. They ask how the boys knew how to do that and Sam just says that they read the books. As they’re leaving, they head over to Chuck and Dean says, “Good luck with the Supernatural books. And screw you very much.”
They tell her to head downstairs and find the scalped little boy huddled in the corner of the room. He asks why they sent his mommy away and Dean is hella rude. The little boys says that his mom isn’t the one who scalped him. The boys are dumbfounded. This is why you burn all the ghost bones.
K: I also have to laugh about the fact that Dean expects gratitude from a ghost.
Samantha: The Hookman from the Q&A is walking down a hallway. Three little ghost boys appear behind him. He snarks about how totally unoriginal the scary child trope is. One of the boys says that Miss Gore wouldn’t let them have fun, but now she’s gone and they can. They creepy pull their hands from behind their backs with knives. Hook Man yells and Sam and Dean come running. By the time they get there, Hook Man is scalped dead on the floor.
Chuck is back at the podium, doing another panel. He’s wrapping it up when Sam runs on stage and whispers in his ear. I’d place a money bet that Jared whispered something dirty or ridiculous every take. Chuck responds with “What? Holy crap!” but Sam quietly tells him that he has to keep everyone safe in this room because it’s life or death. Chuck turns back to the audience and stumbling says that he actually has much more to tell them all. Meanwhile, Dean is herding the rest of the staff into the room and the boys put a salt line across the door once everyone is inside. While Chuck rambles about angels and something about John Winchester that I can’t make out, the boys work out what must have really happened. The three little boys were LARPing as cowboys and Indians and scalped Laticia’s son. She freaks and kills them and herself. Laticia’s ghost was the only thing keeping the ghost boys under control, until they burned her bones. They don’t have their guns and they can’t get outside to burn the kids bones. Dean gets his “I have an idea” face.
Cut to the boys asking the Laticia actress to pretend to be Laticia again. She’s pretty hesitant but Sam promises she’ll be safe. If this were Doctor Who that would basically be a death sentence.
K: It’s not much better in Supernatural, really. Don’t rope this poor woman into your shit, guys.
Samantha: Cosplay!Sam and Dean come up and say that if everyone is in trouble they want to help, because that’s what Sam and Dean would do. Whatever, my contact seems to be irritating my eye. This seems to actually get through to Dean a little. Back onstage, Chuck is literally saying “No, there’s no such thing as a Croatoan virus for down there. Um. You should really see a doctor.”
Fake Laticia walks into a lounge looking room. I wish they would have named her, but even IMDB doesn’t know. She says that she doesn’t want to do this and Dean peeks his head around the corner and says, “I’m right here, sweetheart. I’ve got your back.” Listen, there’s a small part of me that think that Dean Winchester could call me sweetheart anytime but, mega childhood crush aside, that mostly pisses me off. Men, stop calling random women any variation of “sweetheart.” It pretty much just makes us uncomfortable and mad. The actress starts acting like Laticia and calling for the boys. They appear and are confused, but not disbelieving, at seeing Miss Gore.
Elsewhere, Sam and the cosplay guys are pushing and pushing at one of the doors, trying to get outside while the kids are distracted.
Fake Laticia is scolding the boys and telling them to open the doors.
Sam and Friends get the door open a smidgen and cosplay!Sam and Dean get out.
Right in the middle of her scolding, Fake Laticia’s phone goes off. I believe it’s a Missy Elliot song. This causes the ghost boys to realize that she isn’t Miss Gore and the door slams shut again on Sam before he can get out. The ghost boys pull out their knives and Dean tells her to run. He holds an iron fireplace poker in a defensive stance.
K: He totally looks like a Jedi with a lightsaber.
Samantha: After a Not Commercial Break, cosplay!Sam and Dean are back in the cemetery digging up the boys graves. Cosplay!Sam talks about how the books make this look so easy but in reality he’s going to throw up from the physical exertion. Word. They valiantly keep digging.
Back with the ghost boys, Dean is being thrown into the wall and his poker goes flying out of his hands. Luckily Sam shows up to pick up the weapon and dissolve the ghost boys before they can get Dean. Unluckily, the boys reform almost immediately and its Sam’s turn to go flying across the room and lose the weapon.
Chuck is still holding court up on stage but everyone (except Becky) is clearly bored. He starts talking about when he fell in love at 16 and lost his virginity but she told everyone it didn’t count. This all almost feels add-libbed, in a good way. The hotel worker that they bribed earlier gets up to leave. Chuck tells him that he can’t but he opens the door anyway, disturbing the salt line. Immediately, one of the little boys appear but Chuck heroically swings some iron at him and slams the door shut. “I said no one leaves, dammit! Now somebody salt this door.” Becky gets hot and bothered watching him.
K: Ugh, Becky. That said, I love that Chuck gets to be a hero for a second.
Samantha: In the cemetery, cosplay!Dean is trying to get the lighter to light. He says, “How come Dean can always light the thing on the first freakin try?” This is my favorite quote of the episode because I too struggle hard with lighters. Also because there is outtake footage of Jensen struggling with the lighter.
We cut back to the lounge area where Sam and Dean are both down for the count and about to get scalped. Just in the nick of time the ghost boys go up in flames and we see cosplay!Sam and Dean standing over the lit graves. Dean picks up the poker and mentions that maybe they should put their weapons on a bungee. Sam nods like, “yeah, yeah, maybe we should.”
K: Still sad that they never actually do this. It would be hilarious to have them try it and then have them get stuck on branches or something.
Samantha: Oh man, why has this never happened?
The next shot we are outside the hotel and the police and ambulance have arrived. Dean is thanking cosplay!Sam and Dean for the assist. He asks their names and cosplay!Sam is Barnes and cosplay!Dean is Damien. They ask for Dean’s name and he tells them that he’s the real Dean. They don’t believe him at all and everyone has a good laugh. As Dean is walking away, Damien stops him. He says that Dean was wrong about Supernatural. Him and Barnes have boring jobs and their lives suck but Sam and Dean wake up and save the world and have a brother who would die for the other. Who wouldn’t want that? Dean takes that in and tells them that the two of them make a good team. Barnes tells Dean that they met in a Supernatural chat room. Dean is a dick to internet users and their friends everywhere when he rudely says, “Must be nice to get out of your parent’s basement, make some friends.” Damien tells Dean that they’re actually more than friends, they are partners and he holds Barnes’ hand. Dean gets totally awkward and just says, “Howdy partners.”
K: I have a sneaking suspicion that these are the only canonically gay (male) characters in the whole show. Womp.
Samantha: I have the same feeling. Too bummed to fact check the feeling.
Cut to Becky talking to Sam. She is dramatically telling him that they def had chemistry but “like a monkey on the sun, it was too hot to live.” She tells him that she’s fallen for Chuck now and she’s so so sorry. The camera pans out so that we see Chuck again. He also tells Sam that he’s sorry and Sam humors Becky by saying that he’ll have to find a way to keep living. He then turns to Chuck and says that it’s okay with them if he publishes more books. Chuck’s ‘omg really’ is cut short but Sam saying, “No not really. We have guns and we’ll find you.”
As Sam walks away, Becky runs up to him and starts babbling about how in the book “Time is On My Side” Bella said that she gave the Colt to Lilith but she lied. Sam is all “skrrrt what?” Turns out that Bella gave the Colt to a demon named Crowley, who was Lilith’s right hand man and probable lover. Chuck says that he didn’t remember because he’s not as big of a fan. Sam tells Becky to tell him everything, which a dream phrase to any mega fan anywhere.
K: Meanwhile, I’m flailing because CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWLEY!!!
Samantha: Dean is leaning against the Impala and smiles a little, remembering what Damien said. Sam comes out and tells Dean that he got a lead on the Colt and they head out.
This episode actually has a different kind of ending scene. We go back to Chuck answering questions on the stage from earlier in the episode. We get little cuts of him answering various questions. He confesses a mega crush on Nancy McKeon. He says that the Bender’s didn’t make flesh suits out of all of their victims, maybe just some scarves. His favorite movie is Beaches. Then they show the audience where what is probably definitely Jared and Jensen out of character being goofs to Chuck. The next answer is, “The way I look at it is, it’s really not jumping the shark if you never come back down.” Then fade to black. It’s cute.
I pretty much enjoy this episode completely, except for the things I mentioned earlier. They do a weird disservice to their female fans, I feel like. But Damien and Barnes were funny and I’m a sucker for anything Supernatural meta. It also managed to advance the main plot a little, so this is mostly a win for me.
K: Yeah, there’s definitely a sad lack of female fans in this episode that’s essentially straight up fan service. At least it’s fun.
Next time on Supernatural: All the pain and feels in S05 E10 – Abandon All Hope…
I'm a 28 year old graduated English major and almost librarian. I can often be found singing too loudly (poorly) in the car or spending some time (hours) on Tumblr. I am a lover of Harry Potter, the Spice Girls, and too many other things.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
