Supernatural S05 E14 – Excuse me while I hurl.

Previously: The boys did a little time travelling to hang out with their parents, then Anna got her face murdered off. Of course.
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My Bloody Valentine

Kirsti: I’m not going to lie, you guys. When I saw that I had to recap this episode, I nearly threw up in my mouth. Because the opening scene is SO FUCKING SQUICKY AND I CAN’T DEAL WITH IT. But because I love you, I’m going to power through.

Samantha: We really appreciate you.

K: The previouslies remind us about the Four Horsemen and Sam’s demon blood addiction, so we’re clearly in for a fun episode…

Samantha:

K: After the previouslies, a cute young couple are a little awkward at the end of a first date. He asks if he can see her again in a few days, because he doesn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day. She smiles that she understands. He kisses her goodnight, and then they rapidly make out. Things move inside, they strip each other’s clothes off, and then LITERALLY TAKE BITES OUT OF EACH OTHER BUT IN A SEXY WAY AND OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO PUKE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS DISGUSTING. Blood splatters everywhere as the Zoomy Cameraman zooms in on an old fashioned Valentine’s Day card on the fridge. (S: We know my feelings on the pre credits stuff and this is THE WORST ONE PROBABLY.)

BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

After the Not Credits, Sam interviews the dead girl’s roommate. Anyway, she found the bodies and tells him that the girl was dead when she got there, but the guy was “still sort of…chewing a little.” Both she and Sam look disgusted. (S: Why did I eat a Kit Kat five minutes ago. Why.) Sam asks if her roommate was acting weird in the days before, but nope. Apparently she was just a Nice Girl who didn’t believe in pre-marital sex and was super excited about her date because she hadn’t had one in months.

Motel of the Week. Sam returns and informs Dean that there were no signs of ghost or demon activity at the house, so they’re back to square one. Dean tells Sam about how super disgusting it was going to the coroner’s office – thank you, writers, for sparing us that – because the two victims had just kept right on eating. He says that their stomachs were “Thanksgiving dinner full.” Urgh.

Sam sits down at his laptop and tells Dean that he’ll keep working while Dean goes out to celebrate his favourite holiday. Apparently he’s always referred to Valentine’s Day as “unattached drifter Christmas“. Gross. Dean, however, cracks another beer and says he’s just not feeling it this year. Maybe because he’s in love with Castiel, maybe because he just saw THE BODIES OF TWO PEOPLE WHO ATE EACH OTHER TO DEATH. Either way. (S: Maybe because he’s finally growing out of his gross womanizing way? Anyone? Okay, fine.) (K: Yes, because he’s in love with Castiel. Duh)

Sam gives him a look of mock concern, and says that the way you know something is really wrong is when a dog stops eating. “Remarkably patronizing concern duly noted,” Dean says. Then he sits down at the table and suggests they get back to work. Sam looks actually concerned.

Cut to an office building. A 30-something guy frantically checks his phone while his colleague tells him to get his shit together and stop being so fucking whipped because it’s having an impact on his work. He doesn’t want this project messed up because his right hand man (S: Here comes the General! Uh. Sorry.) (K: Never be sorry) was too busy losing his shit over a girl he’s known for a week. They’re interrupted by the girl in question, who’s wearing a red satin cocktail dress and has mascara running down her face.

She asks tearfully where he was, saying that he can’t choose work over her. 30-Something apologises, and his colleague jokes about him being super whipped again. Raccoon Eyes shoots him in the chest. Well. That escalated quickly. She tells 30-Something that no matter what they do, something is going to come between them. Things like work, family, and prison. He smiles and says he has an idea of how they can stay together forever. They press the gun to her head. Two shots fire.

Samantha:

K: Perfect gif is perfect.

Later, the boys are heading back to the coroner’s office. Sam stares in confused recognition at a thin bald man walking past in a black suit and tie. In the coroner’s office, the coroner – who looks a lot like Santa – tells them that he’s just finished the autopsies but they’re welcome to look at the bodies and all the organs, which he’s got in Tupperware containers in the fridge. He tosses Dean the keys and tells them to lock up when they’re done. “And please, gentlemen – refrigerate after opening,” he says as he plonks his hat on and heads out. Dean smirks.

That throws us into a quick montage of organ examination. Dean pushes a Tupperware container of heart towards Sam, and says “Be my Valentine?” with a super dorky smile.

Sam gives him bitchface, and it’s pretty great. Suddenly, Sam realises that both the hearts have a little symbol on them. He thinks it’s Enochian. Dean pulls out his phone and calls Cas, telling him where they are. Cas arrives before Dean finishes his sentence, and says “I’m there now.” They stare at each other for a second before hanging up awkwardly.

Samantha: Alright. I’m not really a Destiel shipper but that gif has some sexual tension.

K: For all the ridiculous things I point out, I’m not really a Destiel shipper either. I just like pointing out HOW OBVIOUS IT IS.

Cut to Cas studying the hearts. He tells the boys that it’s the mark of Cupid, a sign that the couple were supposed to be soulmates or whatever. The boys are all “LOL WHUT”. Cas says that what humans call Cupid is actually a lower order of angel – cherubs – and there are dozens of them all over the world. He says that a Cupid has gone rogue, and they have to stop him. Sam’s all “Riiiiiiiiiiiiight” and eyerolls. Dean says “Of course we do…” with a sarcastic nod. It’s kind of great.

Later, they’re at a bar that’s decked out for Valentine’s. A waitress brings Dean’s burger and Sam’s salad. Cas says this is exactly the kind of place Cupid would do his thing. Dean studies his burger for a second, then pushes it away. Cas grabs the plate from him, eager to finish it for him. Sam’s concerned about them both. Cas suddenly realises that the Cupid is there. His eyes narrow as he looks around the room, trying to find the couple Cupid’s working his magic on. He spots them, and tells the boys to meet him in the back. Then he vanishes, and they both double take.

In the back, Cas is standing with one arm extended towards the wall. The boys rush in, and ask where Cupid is. Cas says he’s got him tethered, and mutters a spell to make the Cupid visible. Nothing happens. “So where is he?” Dean asks, looking around the room in confusion. Then he’s grabbed from behind by a tall, solid guy. “Here I am!” Cupid says with a giggle. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Cupid greets everyone with massive hugs and there’s much awkwardness and “EW NO” because he’s naked. Cas tells Dean that this is how Cupids shake hands.

Samantha: Dean’s panicked, “Is this a fight? Are we in a fight?” is excellent. I laugh every time.

K: Legit.

Bear hugs over, Dean asks Cupid why he’s been killing off his matches. Cupid’s all “….whut??” The boys explain. Cupid breaks down and cries that he was just following orders in setting them up and anything that happens after that is totally not his fault. After some cajolling, Cas reads his mind and confirms that Cupid’s telling the truth.

Dean wants to know where his orders come from, and Cupid chuckles that they’re from Heaven. Mostly Heaven doesn’t give a shit about romantic relationships, he says, but where certain bloodlines are involved? Super big deal. Like Mary and John Winchester getting together. Dean gets pissed at the mention of his parents and snaps that they’re both dead. Cupid awkwards that they were a match made in Heaven. Dean punches him in the face, and reels back in pain because apparently Cupids are like Edward Cullen – made of marble.

  Samantha: Listen. I have never been able to decide how exactly how I feel about John and Mary hating each other until divine intervention. It sounds creepy and kind of cheap. However, it does tie nicely into what Michael was telling Dean last episode, about it being a perfect predestined plan. And so it makes sense that Dean would get so pissed.

K: Agreed.

There’s a feathery sound, and when they all look back, Cupid’s vanished. Cas says that Dean hurt his feelings, and Dean’s all “WHAT THE FUCK WHY AM I THE BAD GUY HERE??” Sam tells him to chill, but Dean’s completely lost his chill. Sam wants to know if they’re going to talk about what’s been going on with Dean recently. Dean snaps “Or not!” and storms out.

Coroner’s office. The coroner tells Sam that he’s got another weird case for them – a guy who had gastric bypass surgery, lost a ton of weight, and then went on a Twinkie binge so extreme that he blew out the band on his stomach, filled it to bursting, then ended up shoving Twinkies down his throat with a toilet brush when he couldn’t swallow. Sam looks like he’s about to hurl. The coroner declares it “a very peculiar thing to do” and drinks from his hip flask. Legit, dude.

Outside, Sam calls Dean and fills him in, saying that the latest dead guy wasn’t marked by Cupid. Dean says that he’s been through the police blotter and there’ve been a ton of suicides and overdoses in recent days as well. Sam says that whatever’s going on is clearly bigger than they thought. He hangs up, rubbing his temple like he’s got a headache. Then he spots the same skinny guy in the black suit coming out of the coroner’s office carrying a briefcase. The Zoomy Cameraman zooms in on Sam’s ear – seriously – as we hear a heartbeat in the background. (S: Sam’s demon senses were tingling! Clearly. Or something.)

He follows the guy down an alley, and slams him up against a wall, Ruby’s knife at his neck. He hisses that he knows what the guy is because he could smell it. He slices the guy’s cheek with the knife, and it sizzles. He’s a demon. Suddenly, Sam pulls back with a super confused look on his face, like he has no idea why he’s doing any of this. The demon takes advantage and attacks. They fight, Sam slices the demon’s arm, and the demon runs off. Sam looks down to see Ruby’s knife covered in demon blood. He looks at it with longing for a second, then hurridly wipes the blade off on a rag from a dumpster.

Motel of the Week. Sam’s pinched the guy’s briefcase. After assuring Dean that he’s okay, they get to work opening the briefcase. They break the demonic combination locks with surprising ease, and the lid bursts open, filling the room with bright white light that slowly fades. Dean demands to know what the fuck it was. Cas appears behind them, carrying a bag of takeout. He informs them that it was a human soul, then shoves hamburgers into his face. Dean’s all “The fuck, you don’t eat”. “Exactly! My hunger – it’s a clue, actually,” Cas replies.

He informs the boys that the town isn’t suffering from a love-gone-wrong deal. It’s suffering from hunger. More specifically, famine. The boys are all “Shit, another horseman???”. Sam says he thought that Famine was all about starvation of the food variety. Cas says that everyone is hungry for something. For some it’s food. For others it’s drugs or love or sex or money. In the case of the dead couples at the start, it’s because Cupid made them crave love, and then Famine tipped them over the edge into crazy town. Also, he’s eating burgers because his vessel, Jimmy, is craving red meat.

Samantha: Firstly, nice Jimmy continuity. Secondly, this was kind of a clever take on Famine I thought. For Teenage Samantha this was the first time I saw it being approached like this. And then wondered what my craving would be. 

K: Mine would probably be marshmallows. God, I love marshmallows. Or you’d find me buried under a pile of 7,500 unread books…

Cas quotes from Revelations, saying that Famine will come to town on a black horse. His quoting turns to a voiceover as we cut to Famine, pulling up in a black SUV. Demons lift a shrivelled old man from the car and carry him to a wheelchair. They give him a canula and we get a close up of the ring on his finger. Cas continues quoting as Famine and his cronies head into a Totally Not Applebees style restaurant. Everyone starts stuffing their faces or making out or raiding the till or popping pills. “Hungry…” Famine hisses.

Back at the Motel of the Week, Cas tells the boys that Famine has to eat the souls of his victims. Also, Lucifer has sent his minions to care for Famine and get him ready to march across the land. The boys look worried. Totally Not Applebees. Everyone’s dead. The demon Sam attacked rushes in, clutching his arm. He explains what happened to Famine, including that he swiped Sam’s room key. Famine throws a tantrum because he’s hungry right this damned second, then exorcises the demon and eats the black smoke. Fade to black. (S: So is the black smoke a demon soul? Interesting.)

After the Not Commercial Break, Sam’s not looking too good.

Cas is still stuffing his face with burgers, and he mumbles around his food that they should stop Famine. He asks how they stopped War, and Dean pulls War’s ring from his jacket pocket and says that once they chopped it off, War just vanished. Cas says Famine has a ring too, so clearly that’s how they stop him.

Sam says apologetically that he’s craving demon blood and can’t go. Dean gets “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” face, and tells Cas to send Sam to Montana. (S: #BrotherFeels) But Cas says it’s too late and Sam’s already infected. Sam tells them to “Go cut that bastard’s finger off“. But, like, after they lock him up. Dean handcuffs him to the sink in the bathroom, which doesn’t seem very secure, then Cas shoves the wardrobe in front of the bathroom door. They head out, and Sam lets out a shaky breath. (S: Like. Whut. These two can hella pick handcuff locks?)

Hospital. Dean asks if the coroner’s around and is shown his dead body – apparently he broke his 20 years of sobriety and drank himself to death. Cas declares it to be Famine. Dean sad pandas because he liked the guy. Cas places a hand on the coroner’s belly, and says the demons haven’t been able to harvest his soul yet. Dean suggests they play “Follow the Soul“. Back in the bathroom, Sam’s getting worse.

Later, Dean sits in the Bromobile, watching the hospital doors. Cas pops in with more burgers, and Dean’s all “Are you kidding me?”. Cas smiles fondly at his burger and says they make him super happy. Dean eyerolls.

Cas admits that he’s eaten a couple of hundred hamburgers. Ew. He asks what Dean’s hunger is, and Dean says he drinks when he wants, eats when he wants, and fucks when he wants. He’s well-fed on everything, so Famine can’t touch him. Sure, son. Sure. Just then, Cas spots a demon leaving the hospital and getting in a black SUV. They follow.

Motel of the Week. Sam’s really struggling now. He hears a noise in the bedroom, and calls out. But it’s not Cas and Dean returning. It’s a couple of demons. One sasses that the boss said they can’t kill him, but he’d probably be okay with them breaking off a few bits. The other approaches and snaps the chain on the handcuffs. Sam throws him into the bath and rushes the female demon. He tackles her, and they land on a glass coffee table, which smashes. He grabs a piece of glass and stabs it into her neck, then drinks deep. She screams for the other demon to help, but Sam throws him across the room with a gesture and hisses “Wait your turn!“, his face smeared in blood. (S: I remember screaming “Noooooo” at the tv when this aired live.)

Meanwhile, Cas and Dean have reached Totally Not Applebees, which is full of demons. Cas stares sadly at his empty burger wrappers. Dean asks him to go over the plan one more time. Cas says he’s to take Ruby’s knife, cut off Famine’s hand, and meet Dean back in the car. He vanishes. After like 10 seconds, Dean says it’s taking too long, and jumps out of the car. He sneaks in the back only to find Cas sitting on the floor, eating a tub full of raw mince. Gross, dude. He spots the reflection of two demons in the glass just before it attacks him. He fights, but they overpower him. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Dean is dragged out to meet Famine. Cas keeps eating mince. Famine chuckles that he just threw Dean’s dog a steak. He gushes about how much he loves America and its all-you-can-eat attitude. Then he wonders aloud why Dean’s not eating or fucking or drinking himself to death. Dean smirks that “I’d like to think it’s because of my strength of character“. Famine disagrees. He rolls his wheelchair closer and presses a hand to Dean’s chest.

Then he nods and says that Dean can lie to himself and Sam as much as he wants, but he can’t lie to Famine. Nothing can fill the big black hole inside of him. “I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can’t win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just… keep going through the motions,” he says. Obviously, all I can think of is this:

Aaaaaaaaand now I want a Buffy/Supernatural crossover.

Samantha: Buffy would call the boys on all of their shit. Also, weird, cause you wrote this post before I wrote the last one and I called for a Buffy crossover too!

K: Buffy crossovers for all! Famine says that the real reason Dean’s not hungry is because he’s already dead inside. “Let him go,” Sam snaps. He’s got a nice blood goatee going on.

Samantha: It’s really interesting watching this on the heels of the time travel episode. Jensen did a great job showing us how broken Dean was, during his conversation with Michael. Even his snark lacked an edge. It’s a nice set up to this episode and then also building up to where the rest of this season goes.

K: “Sammy, no...” Dean says sadly. (S: I was crying at this point, back in 2010.) Famine smarms about the demons he sent to get Sam having been a gift, and says no one’s to touch Sam. He offers up the roomful of demons to Sam, telling him that he’s not like everyone else – he can drink as much blood as he wants and never get sick.

Dean looks broken again. But Sam raises a hand and closes his eyes. He exorcises every single demon, then looks Famine dead in the eye, and snaps “No.” Dean looks relieved. (S: Sam has come far.) Famine glares a little, and says that it’s fine because all the more for him. He swallows all the black smoke puffs floating around the room. Sam raises a hand again and JPad acts with his constipated face. Famine smirks and says he’s a horseman so Sam’s powers won’t work on him. Dean grips Ruby’s knife.

Sam smirks back, and says “You’re right. But it will work on them.” He squeezes his fist and rips all the demon souls out of Famine, which screams. Sam’s nose starts bleeding, but he doesn’t stop. Eventually, the souls explode out and Famine slumps in his wheelchair. Cas stops eating. Dean looks shocked. Sam breathes like he’s just run a marathon. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Sam’s locked up in the panic room at Bobby’s. Dean and Cas stand outside the door, listening to him scream. Dean drinks straight from a whisky bottle. Cas assures him that it’s not really Sam in there, and that he just needs to get the demon blood out of his system. Dean says he knows and that he needs some air. He heads outside to the Bromobile. The Tinkly Orchestra of Feels tinkles away. Dean stares at his bottle of whisky, then stares tearfully up at the sky. “Please,” he begs. “I can’t… I need some help. Please.”

Nothing happens. He shakes his head sadly as the tears start. Fade to black.

As much as I hate the teaser of this episode and I was totally dreading recapping this, it’s actually a solid episode. There were some really fun moments, with the addition of Cupid, a healthy dose of feels at the end, some actual overarching plot progression, and some super serious stuff with Sam drinking demon blood again. So I went in expecting to hate this. But it was actually pretty damned great. And the ending, for once, didn’t feel like manpain and genuinely managed to give me Dean Feels. So let’s just call this one a pleasant surprise!

Samantha: Yeah, it’s definitely solid. I just usually never re-watch it ’cause it’s soooooo gross. 

K: Legit, girl. Legit.

 

Next time on Supernatural: There’s a plague of zombies in Bobby’s town in S05 E15 – Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid.