Supernatural S05 E18 – Family feels and queerbaiting

Previously: Cas got drunk and it was a gift to the world. Also, Dean made a feelstastic confession to Lisa.
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Point of No Return

Kirsti: Is anyone else going to spend the rest of the recap singing Phantom of the Opera, thanks to this episode title? No? Bueller? Okay, fine. I’ll actually recap this thing.

Samantha: Unfortunately, Phantom is one of the musicals I don’t know by heart yet, but I am going to kick things off with this gif in celebration of the 100th episode! 

K: Shit, it’s the hundredth episode?? I honestly had no idea. Whoops.

After the previouslies – which remind us of Adam’s existence – we’re in a bar somewhere. Zachariah drinks while griping to the guy next to him about having been sacked. The guy’s in the same boat, although with a slightly different company. They bond over their collective misery, then the whole building starts to shake. Zachariah’s all “Ugh, my boss is calling” as the bartender and Collective Misery Guy die screaming, their eyes burnt out and their ears bleeding. Zachariah’s thrilled as he’s given a second chance. The screeching noise stops, the bright light fades, and he happily marches out the door singing When the Saints Go Marching In. (S: Ugh, I hate him.)

BLOOOOOOOOOOOD.

After the Not Credits, we’re in the Motel of the Week. The tinkly piano tinkles sadly as Dean downs some breakfast whisky. (S: He seriously drinks it in the same way most people drink a water bottle.) Then he boxes up his leather jacket and the keys to the Bromobile, and sits down to write a letter. He puts that in the box too, along with his favourite gun, then writes Bobby’s name on the top.

Samantha: I cannot tell you how many times I have paused and tried to read that letter. It’s embarrassing and also too blurry to be read. 

K: About the only thing that’s obvious is that Dean writes in all caps. This…does not surprise me.

More breakfast whisky, then he glances up at the mirror to see Sam standing behind him. Sam asks if he’s going to kill himself, because “it’s not too hard to figure out the stops on the farewell tour“. (S: I freaking love that at the end of the day, Sammy knows Dean just as well as Dean knows him and that Dean wasn’t expecting it.) Dean insists that he’s not going to kill himself, and Sam insists that saying yes to Michael is basically the same thing. He’s disgusted with Dean for letting things end this way.

Dean points out that all Sam’s ever done is run away, and Sam snaps that he was wrong. He begs Dean to change his mind because Bobby’s working on something. Dean gives zero fucks and drinks more breakfast whisky. Sam says he’s going to stop him, and Dean’s all “As if you could”. Sam says a little sadly that he brought help. There’s a feathery sound. Dean turns around to find a pissed off Castiel standing behind him. Cas presses two fingers to Dean’s forehead.

Cut to Bobby’s. Dean’s super pissed about being there, and sarcastically snaps that this is DEFINITELY going to be the night they crack the case. Bobby demands to know why he’s acting like this, and Dean snaps that saying yes to Michael is the only option they have left. Especially seeing as he’s basically responsible for every person Lucifer kills. “You can’t give up, son,” Bobby says sadly.

Dean glares at him and snaps “You’re not my father!“, and OW MY FEELINGS. (Also: “Call me son ONE MORE TIME” because I can’t not make so obvious a Hamilton reference)

Samantha: I’ll start with “Go home, Alexander,” and then just I gasped out loud at the pain that lanced my heart at this interaction. Again. OMG. He doesn’t mean it, Bobby!

K: EXACTLY.

Bobby looks hurt, and Sam gives Dean “DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU” face. Bobby pulls a hand gun from his desk drawer and a bullet from his pocket. He tells them that it’s the bullet he’s going to shoot himself with, and he looks at it every single day. But he never does. “Because I promised you I wouldn’t give up!” he yells. Everyone looks at the floor awkwardly.

Then Cas grabs his head and gasps in pain. “Something’s happening...” he says. Dean asks where, but Cas vanishes before he can answer. Sam’s face is all “Wow, RUDE.” (S: Lol, like he was going to tell you guys.)

Meanwhile, Cas is in the woods somewhere. There are felled trees everywhere. At the centre of the trees, the ground heaves. Cas heads towards it, but he’s attacked from behind by an angel who looks like an accountant. He and Accountant Angel fight, their angel blades out. The music gets super 90s for a minute. Another angel pops up behind Cas, but somehow he manages to overpower and kill both of them. Then he returns to the heaving ground in time to see a hand pop out. He pulls, and drags someone out of the earth. Then he gets “Huh” face.

Back at Bobby’s, Sam and Dean are totally pissy with each other. Papers fly around the room again as Cas reappears – Bobby really needs a better, angel-pop-proof filing system – and yells for help. The boys rush in as Cas dumps the newly resurrected onto Bobby’s sofa. Bobby’s all “The fuck is that?”. The boys stare in shock. “That’s our brother...” Sam says. The zoomy cameraman earns his pennies by zooming in on a mud-covered Adam. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Dean demands answers on how this can be possible. Cas dumps two angel blades on the table in explanation. He says they need to hide Adam immediately. He puts his hand on Adam’s chest, and there’s a white light as Cas brands the anti-angel spells on his ribs. Adam wakes with a gasp. He demands to know where the fuck he is and who the fuck they are. The boys are all “This is going to sound super weird, but we’re your brothers.”

Sam introduces himself, but Adam cuts him off, saying that he knows all about them. (S: I don’t know why but his “Yeah and I’m sure that’s Dean” in the most unimpressed voice makes me laugh.) He says the angels warned him about the boys, and demands to know where the hell Zachariah is. Womp. (S: Oooooooof.)

Later, after a shower and some alcohol, Adam tells them what happened. He was in Heaven, which apparently looked a lot like his prom (OH GOD WORST HEAVEN EVER, 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND. Then again, I went to my year 12 formal with my cousin because I couldn’t get a date and then cried because I just wanted to go home, so YMMV…), and then some angels appeared and said he was the chosen one, that he’s Michael’s vessel and together they can kill Lucifer.

Samantha: Yeah, no, as an adult Prom Heaven sounds terrible. But it does serve to remind me that Adam is a teenager and to have the first of many feels for how his life turned out. And blame fucking John Winchester. 

K: Valid point. Also, with every passing episode, I kind of want to make and burn a John Winchester effigy just a little bit more…

Dean’s all “EXCUSE YOU, I’M THE CHOSEN ONE”. (S: Hahahahahaha.) Cas interjects to say that maybe the angels have moved on from Dean. He says it’s plausible for Adam to be a vessel as well, because he’s of Papa Winchester’s bloodline and he’s Sam’s brother. Sam asks why they’d do this. Cas says they’re clearly desperate and thought Dean would be brave enough to withstand them. Dean spins around and snaps “Alright, you know what? Blow me, Cas.” Cas’ face is all “But we’re in public, Dean???” and I can’t stop laughing. Or finding subtext, apparently.

You think I’m joking?

Anyway, Adam’s all “Cool story, BYE NOW”. Sam begs for more time, saying that the angels are lying and that they’re trying to come up with another way. (S: Dean: Well we’re working on the power of love. His sass is so high right now.) Adam wants one good reason to stay. “Because we’re blood,” Sam says. Adam gets pissed, saying that John Winchester was just an asshole who showed up once a year to take him to a baseball game and that he doesn’t have a father. Bobby’s face is all “Oh great, I have another screwed up Winchester to parent”. (S: Sam’s face is all “Wait, the because we’re family line doesn’t work on everyone at all times????”)

Adam continues, saying that blood doesn’t mean family, and his family is his mother. The angels told him that if he does this, he’ll get to see her again, so he’s doing it for her. Dean gives a little proud smirk, kind of a “Daddy issues and Dead Mommy Feels? Yeah, this kid’ll fit right in around here”. Sam begs some more, asking Adam to stay if he has even one good memory of Papa Winchester.

Samantha: I do think that they cast a third Winchester brother perfectly. Jake Able does a good job of using his voice and face to completely convince me that he could be related to our idjit brothers. And I remember being so frustrated with him as a teen but now, I mean yeah, these weirdos aren’t his family. He died young and he’s scared and being manipulated. Of course I want him to trust Sam but I also want to give him a hug. 

K: They really did nail the casting on that one. Almost as well as they nailed the casting on the Mini!Winchesters.

Later, Adam tries to sneak out when Bobby’s back is turned and gets busted by Sam. Sam decides that it’s time for a little brotherly chat. He says Papa Winchester was trying to protect Adam by keeping him away from hunting, and Adam’s all “Right, that worked great when I GOT EATEN BY A GHOUL.” Sam awkwards a little, but insists that the only thing worse than seeing Papa Winchester once a year was “seeing him all year“. Ouch. Adam gives zero fucks because he grew up with a single mother who worked the graveyard shift and he basically had to raise himself.

Sam awkwards again, and says if they’d known he existed, they totally would have found him. Adam scoffs and sasses. “Tell you one thing, with an attitude like that, you would have fit right in around here...” Sam says, a little sadly. (S: That’s what I’m saying, Sammy! Perfect casting!)

Meanwhile, Dean’s downstairs in the panic room. Cas stares at him moodily from the doorway, and Dean says “Well, Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that…I got laid.” I laugh so hard I nearly fall off my chair, because did they SERIOUSLY put that line like 3 minutes after “Blow me, Cas”??? And they still have the nerve to be all “Whaaaaat? You people are crazy, Dean and Cas are just friends!”??? I can’t even.

Samantha: Yeah their shock at the Destiel shipping is irritating. Whatever, don’t make it canon, but don’t act shocked. Eye rolls at them for days.

K: EXACTLY. For all my joking, I’m not a Destiel shipper. But how the hell can they act shocked that people would take the intense stares and lines like those and come out with a ship? DAMMIT, SHOWRUNNERS.

Anyway.

Sam suggests that Cas go keep an eye on Adam. Cas glares, Dean winks at him and I’m right back to laughing so hard I can’t breathe again. Cas bitchily gestures the panic room door shut, leaving the boys alone. Dean says he’s not going to let Adam say yes. Sam snaps that he’s not going to let Dean say yes either. Dean says sadly that they’ve gotten so many people killed – their parents, Jessica, Ellen and Jo – and Sam insists that it’s not like they’re directly responsible.

Dean replies that they may as well be, and then says that he’s tired. More specifically “tired of fighting who I’m supposed to be.” So…Cas’ boyfriend, based on the last 5 minutes of this episode? But no. Sam suggests that it’ll be better if they stick together, and Dean sad pandas that he doesn’t have faith in Sam’s ability to say no to Lucifer. Sooner or later, he’ll cave. “Don’t say that to me. Not you,” Sam says tearfully. Dean says sadly that it’s the truth, and when it happens there has to be someone there to stop him, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be Adam. So it has to be him. Sam storms out. (S: Oh god. Oh god. This scene feels necessary and organic but also it hurts me so much.)

Upstairs, Cas is glaring at Adam. Sam comes upstairs and Bobby asks how Dean’s doing. Sam shakes his head. Bobby asks how he’s doing, and Sam gives a sad little shrug. Cas heads downstairs to talk to the bae. He hears a noise from inside the panic room, and peeps in through the window. There’s a chair overturned and a broken lamp on the floor. He rushes in, all worried. Dean slaps his hand onto a blood sigil, and Cas vanishes with a scream. Welp. You’re not getting that blow job now, son. Dean grabs his stuff and sneaks out into the night. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Sam tells Bobby what’s happened. He says he’s going to go after Dean, because he can’t have gone far, and tells Bobby to keep an eye on Adam. Sam stomps off into the night, and we take a little trip into Adam’s dreams. He’s at a playground. Zachariah appears and is all “Your mum’s not coming. Yet.”

Then he says that he can’t find Adam, so clearly he’s with the Winchesters, which what the fuck we told you not to do that. Adam’s all “Whoops”, and Zachariah says that the Winchesters are “psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other“. He’s not wrong, but that addition of “erotically” really doesn’t help the queerbaiting in this episode. Also, EW INCEST STOP. (S: WORST SHIPPING NO YUCK.)

Adam says that the boys had some choice things to say about Zachariah too. Zachariah glares a little and snaps that when the shit hits the fan, the boys will forget all about Adam because they’ll be too busy saving each other and to hell with the planet. I mean, he’s not wrong… He hisses that the Winchesters aren’t Adam’s family. Adam looks feelsy. Zachariah smirks and asks if he wants to see his mother again. Adam wakes with a start.

Cut to a beardy weirdy standing outside a bar waving a Bible and yelling that the Apocalypse is upon them and he knows because the angels talk to him. Dean strolls up and introduces himself. Beardy Weirdy is all “HOLY SHIT”, and Dean’s all “Cool, so you’ve heard of me.” (S: Hahahahaha it’s hilarious.) He tells Beardy Weirdy to let the angels know where he is. Beardy Weirdy drops to his knees and starts the Lord’s Prayer.

“You pray too loud,” says a voice from behind him. Cas touches Beardy Weirdy on the shoulder, and he slumps to the ground unconscious. Then he slams Dean up against the wall and starts punching him. He shoves Dean down an alleyway and yells in his face about how he didn’t rebel for Dean to surrender himself, and their faces are like an inch apart and if this were any other show or if Cas were female, this scene totally would have ended with them making out. (S: Even I will admit that it kind of has a foreplay feel.)

But it’s not any other show. So. Cas keeps punching, Dean begs him to stop, Cas kicks him into a chainlink fence, Dean tells him to “Do it! Just do it.” Cas stares down at Dean for a second, then unclenches his fist and taps Dean on the shoulder. Dean crumples into unconsciousness. (S: Castiel’s rage is SO LEGIT and I love it.)

Back at Bobby’s, Sam’s all “The fuck do you mean, Adam’s gone?”. (S: “Should I say it in Spanish?” #BobbySnark) Bobby says that he was there one minute, and literally vanished the next. Sam’s unimpressed and also confused. Cas pops in carrying an unconscious Dean, and says that the angels have taken Adam. The gag reel for this scene is one of my favourite Supernatural gifs of all time, so I’mma give it to you because of reasons.

Samantha: The behind the scenes commentary of this gif usage is that when I started commenting, I used this exact gif at the beginning of the post to celebrate it being the 100th episode. So, yes, amazing gag reel moment is amazing. 

K: I have increasingly mixed feelings about this show, AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED, but the gag reels continue to be completely amazing every single year.

Anyway, Bobby wants to know how the fuck the angels found Adam when his ribs were branded. Cas says he must have tipped them off in a dream. Sam asks where they could possibly have taken him, and Cas gets realisation face.

Cut to the fancy pants room where Zachariah stashed Dean at the end of last season. You know, the one with all the beer and burgers and fancy paintings. Adam’s digging into the burgers, and Zachariah smirks “I see you and your brother share the same refined palate.” Adam abandons his burger in favour of being Michael’s vessel. Like, immediately. Zachariah smugly informs him that the whole thing was a dirty dirty lie and that he’s just Winchester bait.

Adam gets a raging case of Winchester Bitch Face (TM). (S: 1430) Zachariah consults the Big Book of Villain Gloating, and says that their evil plan was always going to work because the only blind spot the Winchesters have is for family, so Sam and Dean will put aside their differences to come find Adam, and then Dean will be right where they want him. Michael, apparently, has foreseen that this is the night everything falls into place. Adam snaps that he’s not going to let them do this, and Zachariah basically eyerolls. With a wave of his hand, Adam is doubled over and puking up blood. Lovely. (S: Oh Adam. Sad feels.)

Bobby’s. Dean wakes up to find himself handcuffed to the bed in the panic room. Sam fills him in on what’s happening, and says that Cas did some recon and found that Adam’s being kept somewhere that’s crawling with angels and it’s a total Hail Mary deal. Dean asks what Sam’s plan is, and he basically shrugs because all he’s got is “They won’t hurt Dean, so I should bring him with me”.

Dean’s all “Uuuuuuuh, NO THANK YOU PLEASE”, because it’s clearly a trap to get him to say yes. And also, he WILL say yes if given the chance. Sam insists that he won’t – that when it comes down to it, he’ll do the right thing. Dean eyerolls a little and says that if the circumstances were reversed, he’d leave Sam to rot in the panic room. He asks why Sam’s doing this, and Sam replies “Because. You’re still my big brother.” Fade to black.

I…do not understand Sam’s argument. “Because Adam’s our brother” or “Because it’s the right thing to do” or “Because it’s what Dad would want” or any NUMBER of other arguments here would make perfect sense. But “I’m going to put you in danger to save our half brother because you’re my big brother”??? That one makes no sense to me.

Samantha: Listen. Listen. You’re right, it doesn’t really make a ton of sense. I always took it as Dean is Sammy’s big brother and always comes through for him so he’s also going to come through for Sam here. Also, it just turns me into a puddle of goo feels so. Idk.

K: Yeah, that’s totally fair. I think if I’d been watching this episode at normal speed, I would have come out of it with that thought process. But watching it in like 30 second increments, I had way too much time to think about every tiny detail. So.

After the Not Commercial Break, Cas and the boys appear outside a grotty looking warehouse. Dean asks where they are, and Cas is all “This is the stunning room they held you in.” “The beautiful room is in an abandoned muffler factory in Van Nuys, California?” Dean says, looking personally offended. Cas is all “Duh?”, which makes Dean more offended.

Sam asks why Cas doesn’t just pop in, grab Adam, and pop out. Cas glares that there are at least five angels inside. He pulls off his tie and wraps it around his hand, saying that he’ll thin them out while the boys grab Adam. Dean’s all “Um, suicide mission much?”. Cas glares that it might be, but at least then he won’t have to see Dean be a massive failure. BUUUUUUUUURN (Definitely not getting a blow job now, Dean). He says that he doesn’t have the same faith in Dean that Sam does. Then he pulls out a box cutter, and Sam’s all “The fuck?!”

Cas heads inside the factory, squinting in the gloom. There’s a free standing box/room/thing in the middle of it. He stalks towards it and gets attacked by an angel. After a two second fight, Cas kills the guy with his own blade, then backs away expectantly. Other angels close in, and circle around him with their blades drawn. Cas drops his angel blade and haunts the others. They rush him, and he rips open his shirt and presses his bleeding hand to a bleeding sigil carved into his chest. He and all the other angels vanish in a burst of white light, leaving the warehouse empty.

Okay, how the fuck did that not bleed through his white shirt?! (S: Angel…blood…clotting…magic….)

Outside, the boys hear the feathery sound that comes with the angels being banished. Dean heads inside. He cautiously heads into the box/room/thing and finds Adam slumped on the floor, his mouth covered in blood. He rushes over to him and helps him up. “You came for me…” Adam says in surprise (S: Feels). Dean all “Duh, you’re family”. Adam mentions that it’s a trap, and Dean says he knows. But Zachariah’s already appeared.

“Dean, please. Did you really think it would be that easy?” he smirks. “Did you?” Dean snaps. Sam appears behind Zachariah, an angel blade raised. But Zachariah gestures and Sam flies across the room. Zachariah gestures some more, and Adam starts puking up blood again. Filming these scenes must have been nasty, that’s all I’m saying.

Zachariah does the same to Sam, then smirks that he thought he was going to get fired for sure, but now it’s all playing out like he thought. (S: Dean looks at Zach with so much hate, Zach should be more afraid.) Dean looks a little teary and begs Zachariah to stop. He’ll do it. Sam’s horrified. Dean tells Zachariah to call Michael. Zachariah looks thrilled. He stops torturing Sam and Adam, and starts chanting in Enochian. Sam stares at Dean. Dean gives him a little smirk and a wink.

Samantha: Whatever, I squeal every time.

K: Totally fair. It’s a pretty great moment.

Zachariah says that Michael’s on his way. Dean announces that he has a few conditions – people who need to be protected, blah blah blah. Zachariah’s all “Whatevs, make a list.” Dean steps towards him and says he has another condition: Michael can’t have him until he destroys Zachariah. Zachariah’s all “Bitch, please”, but Dean points out that now that he’s said yes, Zachariah is totally expendable.

Zachariah gets all up in Dean’s face and yells that Michael’s not going to kill him. “Maybe not. But I am,” Dean replies. He stabs Zachariah under the chin with an angel blade. (S: Wooooooooo CHEERING YAY!) Zachariah dies in spectacular fashion, but Michael’s still on the way. Dean helps Adam up, then goes to help Sam. He and Sam rush out the door, Adam following. But the door slams shut after them, leaving Adam trapped. We’re treated to this stunning shot:

Adam yells for help. Dean tries to open the door, but the handle and the door are white hot. He can’t get in. He yells to Adam that they’ll get him out and to hang on. Then the white light fades. Dean rushes back through the door, but the beautiful room is gone. It’s just a mangled room full of filing cabinets now, and Adam is gone. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, it’s Man Pain Time! The boys drive through the night. Sam asks if Dean thinks Adam’s okay. Dean says he doubts it, but they’ll get him back. (S: I’m glaring at things for reasons.) (K: LEGIT.) Cas too. Sam asks what changed Dean’s mind about saying yes, and Dean says that at the last minute, he saw Sam and knew he couldn’t let him down.

Yeah, that’s not codependent at all.

Sam smirks that Dean almost let him down, but didn’t. Dean offers up an apology – he’s spent his whole life trying to keep Sam on the straight and narrow, but he doesn’t have to do that any more. Sam has faith in him, and it’s time to reverse the favour. He says they need to take the fight to the angels, face their destiny their way. Sam grins his agreement. Fade to black.

I don’t know what to make of this episode. I love that the writers were like “Hey, remember Adam? Let’s do something with him!”, because that one episode totally didn’t do his character justice. But to then throw him away again at the end? Ugh. I’m thrilled that Zachariah is finally dead, because that dude is the actual fucking worst. But I don’t really like what this episode did for Cas. He goes from adorable little squish to rage explosion in the space of 42 minutes. Just let him give Dean a blow job already.

Samantha: I’ve actually always liked this episode. I agree about it being totally disappointing with how they just throw Adam away again, especially knowing the future. But I guess I’m just a sucker for the emotional turbulence? And it has some great sassy lines. 

 

Next time on Supernatural: An old friend shows up and shit gets crazy in S05 E19 – Hammer of the Gods.