Game of Thrones S03 E03 – Big mistake. HUGE.

Previously: JON LIVES.
—

Oathbreaker

Catherine: The previouslies for this episode take us way back to last season when that one prostitute killed that Unsullied dude, Sam and Gilly left, and Sansa learned all about Lyanna Stark. Also, other stuff that happened last episode, I think. I’m not sure. It’s been 6 seasons, and it’s all really starting to blend together.

Anyway! The credits that I’ve never had to pay this close of attention to before take us to King’s Landing, Pyke, Poor Winterfaux with it’s little flayed man symbol, The Wall and across the narrow sea to Dothraki territory and Meereen.

The Wall. Davos is breathing real heavy while looking at Jon Snow (as we all do sometimes) because hey! Jon Snow is alive! He’s also naked. Everything’s coming up us!

Democracy Diva: Even death can’t make Jon Snow un-sexy. I’m mildly uncomfortable with how sexually attracted to a zombie I am right now, but, hey. Welcome to Game of Thrones.

Marines: Even if the knowledge of zombie Jon wasn’t throwing us off, the open wounds should…? Alas.

Catherine: He’s still got it, guys.

Jon looks at Davos, then at Ghost, then down at his terrible, bloodless stab wounds and freaks out because one of these things is not like the other.

Sensing his distress, Davos comes over and offers him his cloak, catching Jon as he tries to stand and fails. Give him a break, he’s been mostly dead all day. The Red Lady comes in and gets this hilariously terrified look on her face when she sees Jon. Like whoa! Holy shit! I really am a witch!

Davos asks Jon what he remembers, and he says he remembers being stabbed a bunch by his friends. Poor Caesar. Davos tells Jon that The Red Lady brought him back. She gets all creepy intense again and asks Jon what he remembers from being dead. He says he saw nothing in the afterlife and The Red Lady rolls with it like a good cult leader and tells them that the Lord brought Jon Snow back to be the ‘Prince that was Promised’ since Stannis is all dead or missing or whatever. Davos realizes this is a lot of pressure to put on a guy that’s been mostly dead all day and asks The Red Lady to wait outside while he talks to Jon.

Diva: “Could you just give us a minute? You’re upsetting the sexy naked zombie.”

Catherine: Davos asks Jon how he’s feeling and he’s feeling weird. He says that he did what he thought was right and he got murdered for it. Now he’s back, and he wants to know why.

Because we need all the Starks we can get, that’s why.

Mari: Also, getting murdered for something doesn’t mean you did the WRONG thing, Jon. Sometimes your friends just murder you anyway, you know? 

Catherine: Davos tells Jon to buck up and go out and start doing what he thinks is right again. These two together, honestly, best dudes ever but I’m shocked that they’re both still alive-ish.

Anyway, Jon walks out of his little Jesus cave and sees all of his Night’s Watch guys outside standing around. And he’s like, remember that time you killed me?

Diva: You get a 1430 for that gif.

Catherine: Thank you! I hope it counts toward my final score.

Everyone looks appropriately in awe, except Tormund who comes up to hug Jon and remind him that his dick is small.

    Diva: I still ship these two so hard it hurts.

Mari: I think making fun of Jon’s dick is the only wan Ginger NotMance can convince himself he doesn’t want it.

Catherine: Transition to Sam and Gilly who are on a ship. Sam is not great at ships, apparently, and is trying to hold back his barf. When we find something Sam is good at we will let you know.

Gilly tries to cheer Sam up by telling him that she used to think that sea was called the sea because it was water as far as the eye could see. She says she didn’t know the difference between ‘sea’ and ‘see’ and now she does ’cause she can read. Sam pukes in response to this story. Then Gilly says that they are going to the South and specifically, Old Town, which is beautiful this time of year. Sam reluctantly tells her that the Citadel doesn’t admit women or teeny babies so they can’t actually go there. Gilly’s like, um, so where are we actually going then?

Sam tells her he’s taking her back to his home, Hornhill. Ya know, the place he got kicked out of for being fat or whatever. There. Should go well. He’s leaving her there to become a Maester, because he wants to help Jon when the time comes that Westeros is overrun by Wildings. He tells Gilly that he’s doing all this to keep her and little Sam safe. And we see little Sam and he’s a cute baby. Which seems unlikely, but okay. Gilly tells Sam that she trusts him and that she considers him the father of her son.

Tower Of Joy. Wait…Tower of Joy?! (D: !!!!!!) Yes, this is happening. I’ve been told it’s important so I’m paying close attention to detail here.

Some dude is there sharpening a sword and some other guy comes up and it’s Ned Stark! But he’s young and he has boy band hair. (M: Hair casting on point.) 

We see Bran and the Raven and that lets us know that this is a flashback. The Raven tells us non-book readers that Ned is joined by a posse that includes Howland Reed, Meera and Jojen’s father. They ride up and two guys, one of whom is Ser Arthur Dayne come down from the castle to meet them. Bran tells us that Ser Arthur Dayne is supposed to be the best swordsman of ever.

Ned tells Dayne that he looked for him on the Trident and Dayne is like, “yeah I wasn’t there. I was shaving my hands. Sorry.” The guy with Dayne who was sharpening a sword earlier tells Ned that if they had been at the Trident, Robert Baratheon would be dead now. Ned tells them that the Mad King is dead and Rhaegar is dead too. He says they should’ve been there to protect their Prince, Rhaegar.

Dayne says that Rhaegar wanted them there. Ned looks up at the tower and asks them where his sister is. Dayne doesn’t answer, but puts on his helmet and gets his fighting stance on.

He pulls out two swords so we know he’s a badass and the fight begins. It’s two against like 5 but Dayne is a super good swordsman and manages to kill everybody except Ned. He starts fighting Ned one-on-one, and it turns out he’s also a better fighter than Ned. Bran starts getting confused, since he’s heard this story many times from his father and he knows that Ned wins the fight.

But just when Ned is about to lose, Howland Reed, who is not as dead as he was pretending to be, comes up behind Dayne and stabs him in the neck. Ned cuts off Dayne’s head like he likes to do.

Mari: I also read lots of fan theories about the Tower of Joy and there were even a few on how Ned and Howland managed to defeat Dayne. There were theories that involved magical objects, shapeshifting, etc, and I find it HILARIOUS that it really came down to, “Howland played dead and then stabbed Dayne in the back.” Seems legit.

Catherine: From inside the tower they hear a woman’s scream and Ned starts to run to her. 

Bran asks the Raven whats in the tower and the Raven tells him that’s enough for one day and they can visit again later.

Diva: FUCK YOU, RAVEN. YOU ARE THE BIGGEST TOWERTEASE OF ALL TIME.

Catherine: Bran ignores him and starts up toward the tower. He calls after Ned, and Ned almost seems to hear him. He stops and turns around like he heard something. Hey look, it’s Tumblr, here to punch you right in your goddamn feels again. 

    But just when Bran is about to follow Ned, the Raven grabs him and is all NO SPOILERS.

Bran wakes up in a dank cave on the ground. He yells at the Raven that he wants to go back and his father heard him and the Raven is like eh, no.

The Raven tells Bran that he can’t stay too long in the flashbacks because he might accidentally answer some burning fan questions, (D: A+) and also he might not be able to come back. Bran asks why he should even want to come back. Nearby a Child of The Forest lady watches and it’s super unsettling. I hate those dudes for no reason other than prejudice because they look like lizards and they keep just showing up with no real lines or impact on the story. They’re just there. Watching. 

Mari: I live in Florida. I can confirm that “just there, watching” describes lizards real well.

Catherine: Yikes. That makes it worse somehow.

The Raven tells Bran that before he can leave he has to learn everything. Could take a while. Might need a wifi connection in that cave. 

Over to the Khalasar who are traveling into Vaes Dothrak. Remember that Dothraki city with the horse statues at the entrance from like 5 seasons ago? Well, Dany remembers. She takes a moment to pause at the gate in awe and shock before Khal Moro nudges her along with a kick. They arrive at a circular building surrounded by a bunch of smaller circular buildings. The Khalasar stops, and they tell Dany that she’s home now. She gets taken into the building by two Dothraki.

Once inside, a vaguely creepy old lady and a group of women surround her. Suddenly they strip off her raggedy queens dress while she struggles and protests. But don’t worry, it’s not a rape; it’s a makeover. On this show it could be either or both at any given time. Dany stands naked before the women and they offer her a new dress that matches the ones all of them are wearing. It’s a brown potato sack. I guess this is more of a make under. (M: That queen dress was looking raggedy, but they DID take away her Etsy necklace.)

BUT they don’t do a gratuitous shot of Dany’s boobs or ass. No, really. They didn’t. I was shocked too. She just got dressed and we only saw side boob. Progress?

Diva: Between showing us sexy naked zombie Jon Snow butt AND neglecting to show us Dany’s boobs, this episode has gone farther than any other in tipping the scales of gendered nudity on this show. (But they’ve still got to show us like four thousand more penises if they really want to even the score.)

Catherine: That seems like a good deal.

Dany tells the creepy old woman that they’ve made a mistake that they’re going to regret. She tells them that she’s the widow of the Great Khal. The creepy old woman tells her that she knows that and asks why she didn’t come to live with them after Khal Drogo died.

Dany tells her that it’s because she’s Daeneyres Stormborn, Breaker of Chains, Mother of Dragons, Hoper of far-flung hopes, Dreamer of Impossible dreams, etc. She tells them she don’t need no retirement home for Queens. The creepy old lady tells her that she was once the wife of a great Khal, Khal Savo, and she thought that he was going to conquer the world with her at his side also but he didn’t and now he’s dead.

She tells Dany that she’s young and they were all young once (although, a lot of these ladies still look pretty young? I’m thinking being a Khal doesn’t have the greatest of life insurance payouts) and that Dany will understand once she lives with them for a while.

Creepy Old Lady tells Dany that the Dothraki are gonna decide what to do with her over the next few days while they have their burning man festival and hopefully they will decide that she can stay there in the retirement home for hopeless crones but maybe not because she didn’t come there immediately after Drogo’s death which is a big no-no.

Diva: Thanks for spinning your wheels while we wait for Jorah and Daario to rescue Dany, Dothraki! Much appreciated.

Mari: Giving the prisoner time to plan an escape is totally key to being an antagonist.

Catherine: Meereen. Varys is fanning himself in Dany’s old throne room when the Unsullied bring in that one Mereenese prostitute that killed that guy that one time. It turns out her name is Vala. Varys asks the Unsullied to leave them alone to talk. He tells her that he knows that she killed that Unsullied guy that one time. Also that she’s with The Sons of the Harpy. Vala tells him that the Unsullied and The Second Sons are foreign soldiers brought by a foreign queen to destroy their city and their history so they deserved to be all murdered. Varys says that this makes sense from her perspective but she needs to see things from his perspective if she wants to keep her son, Dom safe. He tells her he’s not threatening her son but she did conspire to kill the queen’s soldiers and that he’s booked a passage for her and her son to escape to Pentos. He says it in a threatening, Varys way but it seems like a pretty good deal to me. Not like they can look her up on Facebook. I’m all about the silver linings.

Diva: I loved this scene, primarily for the conversation about how Dany being a conqueror or a liberator completely depends on your perspective. All my favorite scenes from the series revolve around recognizing that none of our heroes or villains are totally good or totally evil, because all of that depends on where you’re coming from. (Except for Ramsay. He’s totally evil. No nuance there.)

Mari: Also, it plays up Varys’s quiet menace, which is not a thing we often see in this show. (I’m also thinking about Ramsay. That boy has never done anything quietly in his life.)

Catherine: In another room in the beachfront mountaintop fortress, Tyrion is trying to goad Grey Worm and Missandei into playing drinking games. Yes, it’s officially the most Tyrion thing ever. They’re waiting for news from Varys and are so bored that Tyrion spontaneously invents the Seven Kingdoms version of Never Have I Ever.

Diva: I only remember this because my sister is rewatching season 1 and texting me about it constantly, but Tyrion played this same game with Bronn and Shae many moons ago. Tyrion LOVES Never Have I Ever, you guys.

Mari: Primarily because Tyrion loves drinking.

Catherine: So, I guess this counts as continuity?

Luckily, Varys comes in before they can combust from awkwardness. He tells them about Vala and that the masters of Astapor, Yunkai and Volantis are the ones who funded the Sons of the Harpy. Grey Worm suggests that the Unsullied go back and retake the other cities. Tyrion points out that if the Unsullied leave Meereen they’re not gonna be there to defend the city and they’ll have a full scale rebellion on their hands. Missandei is convinced they should fight. Tyrion, who has become the de facto leader of Meereen, apparently, asks Varys to send a message to the masters of the other cites.

King’s Landing. Qyburn is inexplicably hanging out with a bunch of small children. It is very uncomfortable to watch for some reason. Probably because of that time he re-made a dead guy out of spare parts. (M: Definitely.)

It turns out that these are Varys’ ‘little birds’ that he’s always talking about. Child spies. How very Sherlock Holmes. Qyburn offers the children candied plums which… ew. Hold out for better, kids. He then asks for ‘whispers’ in return. So these are Qyburn’s little birds now. While the children are eating their gross fruit that’s been dried and sugared to try and make it less gross, the Mountain comes in with Cersei and Jaime.

Hey, ya know what’s terrifying to small children? An 8-foot tall undead Frankenmonster with a sword. Qyburn tells them not to be afraid but they’re obviously fucking terrified and take the first opportunity to bolt out of the room.

After they leave Jaime asks Qyburn what he did to Frankenguard NotMountain and Qyburn’s creepy answer is ‘A number of things’. Wow. That’s like the mad scientists motto. What did you do to this corpse? Oh, a number of things. Yikes.

Jaime asks if Frankguard can even understand them and then starts taunting him because Jaime is just full of dumbass ideas. Frankguard swivels his head around to turn on him and Jaime jumps.

Qyburn says that Frankguard can understand just fine, and Jaime asks why they can’t just tell him to go after the High Septon himself. Cersei points out that the High Septon has a bunch of guards but that’s cool because the Faith Militant will set up a trial by combat soon and the Mountain can just do that again and hopefully not die this time. (M: And hopefully kill a character we actually DON’T like. #stillsalty) Easy peasy.

Cersei then tells Qyburn to send his little birds all over the damn place including over the narrow sea ’cause she wants to know if anyone, anywhere talks smack about her. It’s a little extensive but I can respect the impulse.

Over in the small council room, Olenna (!!!), Grand Master Pycelle, Mace Tyrell and Kevan Lannister are chilling and talking about how fucking terrifying Frankguard is. Pycelle continues to talk not realizing that Cersei, Jaime and Frankguard have walked into the room behind him. Although, how do you NOT hear that motherfucking tall ass dude walking into a room in a suit of armor?

Mari: I’m thinking it has to do with being 187 years old.

Catherine: True. 

When he realizes that they’re behind him everyone goes silent and looks at them. Mace Tyrell farts in fear. Don’t laugh. This is a very serious adult show. I think that fart showed a lot of character growth for him and really like that it was included.

Diva:I thought it was Pycelle farting in fear, but it doesn’t matter, because EVERYONE should be farting in fear. The fact that farting in fear is happening at all is good enough for me. Finally, someone on this show reacts the way I would if I were faced with a giant Frankenguard.

Mari: IDK how to handle three paragraphs on this blog discussing a fear fart, but yeah, I’m pretty sure it was Pycelle. 

Catherine: I saw people saying on Twitter that it was Pycelle, too. I think to really even this out, just so we’re all still friends in the end and this doesn’t turn into a Fartgate, we should start a poll. Who does everyone think farted? Mace or Pycelle? This is a very serious site. Please recommend us to your friends.

Everyone’s all scared. Except Olenna who doesn’t give a shit. Cersei asks why Olenna is there. She tells her she’s there to address the queen’s imprisonment. Cersei’s like, yeah, I was imprisoned and Olenna’s like no, dear, the REAL queen, Margaery. Olenna then goes on to explain that Cersei isn’t the queen because she’s not married to her son, although she appreciates that these types of things can get confusing in her family. Holy shit. Burn.

Diva: SUCH A SICK BURN. We missed you, Grandma Flowerboss!

Mari: I love her so much. PLS FIX THINGS.

Catherine: Kevan (lol. Kevan) tells his nephew and niece that they aren’t supposed to be there. Jaime reminds him that he’s the Lord Commander of the Kingsgaurd so he has every right to be there. I wish I could express to you in words the shade parade that the Lannisters and Frankenguard are dragging around this palace right now.

Jaime and Cersei sit down at the table and ask about Myrcella and what they are going to do about the Sand Snakes. Cersei says they need to discuss it all together and they can’t make them leave so…

Then Kevan is like, yeah, we can’t make you leave but you can’t make us stay unless you’re gonna get Frankenguard to murder us right now. So the small council, sans Donnie and Marie, take off of to another room.

Mari: I really like that last shot of Jamie, Cersei and Frankenguard still sitting at the table. That’s what happens when you make everyone hate you, FYI.

Catherine: I imagine that’s also what their birthday party is like.

Tommen goes to visit the High Septon who is praying to whatever in his potato sack outfit. All keyed up like he’s facing down a school bully, Tommen informs the High Septon in his big boy voice that Cersei wants to see Myrcella’s grave. The High Septon tells him that that’s not gonna be possible ’till Cersei has fully atoned for her sins. Apparently, she still has to stand trial before seven septons.

Tommen gets peeved. The Septon appeases him by talking a bit about how Cersei’s love for her children is the most honest thing about her. Then he pretends to need to sit down to keep talking because of his knees. Tommen lets him but whatever, Tommen, that was a slap and you should’ve seen it. Don’t let this motherfucker get comfortable. You can do this, Tommen!

The High Septon spreads more shit about how there’s good in all of us and Tommen walks away from this conversation feeling placated but having actually gained nothing because he made several classic negotiation mistakes.

Namely: 1. You are the king. 2. You don’t need to negotiate. 3. You are the fucking king, sweetie.

Braavos. Arya is being tortured by Jaqen and the Waif again. (D: Jaqen and the Waif, new band name, I call it!) (M: DAMN. That’s a good one.) They do the whole ‘who are you?’ ‘no one’ thing again and it’s interspersed with Arya describing her old life as if she were another person. She also says that she had four brothers and then amends to say that she had three brothers and one half-brother. (M: Ouch.)  She says they may be dead for all a girl knows. The Waif asks Arya to tell her about The Hound. Arya says that he’s also dead. She says that he was on her list but she took him off before he died. She wasn’t sure if she wanted him dead anymore. Then she says that the other people still on the list are Cersei, The Mountain and Walder Frey. I’m not sure if the Mountain counts anymore or not.

The Waif tells her it’s a short list and that can’t be everyone she wants to kill and Arya asks which name she would like a girl to speak. We see Arya, who is still blind remember, getting better at fighting and managing to block The Waif’s shots. Aw yeah. Arya is Daredevil now. (M: Waif, you are totally on that list now. I hope you are happy.)

The Waif looks a bit upset by her progress. I guess she super loves beating up blind people. Jaqen tells Arya again that if she tells him her name he’ll give her her sight back. Arya answers that she has no name but he gives her something to drink that gives her her eyes back anyway. Yay, Arya! Progress!

Winterfaux. Ramsay is—actually, hang on.

That’s better.

Ramsay is being a dick and talking to Smalljon Umber and Lord Karstark about being in his little gang even though BOTH OF THOSE HOUSES supported the Starks when Ned was captured by the Lannisters but whatever. Assholes. Ramsay tells Umber that he refused to pledge his banners back when Lord Bolton became warden of the north so what’s different now? Umber tells Ramsay his dad was a cunt and he knows Ramsay killed him.

Ramsay maintains that his father was poisoned. Lol. No one in the entire world believes that, Ramsay.

Umber tells them that a plague of Wildlings are coming down past the wall and they need to make Westeros great again by helping each other to fight them off. (M: Wait, so building a giant wall doesn’t always keep people on the other side of it?) He also seems to think that Jon Snow is leading them. Ramsay is on a mission to take out as many Starks as he can, so agrees to fight if Umber will agree to swear loyalty to Bolton and Winterfaux. But Umber tells him nah, he doesn’t want to swear loyalty. Which is good because he apparently sucks at it.

Ramsay asks why he should trust him then? And then Umber tells him he has a gift for him and…

hang on

*deep sigh*

…

just…

Okay. We’ll be okay.

Umber brings in two prisoners who are, shock and awe, revealed to be Rickon and Osha. He has to tell us that it’s Rickon because holy crap, Rickon is also 30 now. Ramsay asks how he’s supposed to be sure that this is Rickon and they bring in Shaggydog’s head on a pike.

Yes. They killed—They MOTHERFUCKING KILLED SHAGGYDOG.

Rickon looks like he’s gonna be sick when he sees the head. I sympathize. Ramsay welcomes Rickon home. We all die inside. End scene.

Diva: I truly did not think we were going to see Rickon again for like a hundred more years, if ever. I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT at that reveal. But one question: Why didn’t they kill Osha? She’s not important (to them, unless they are Harry Potter fans and know that she’s Tonks), she’s worth nothing as a hostage, so why are they keeping her alive? Why did they bother bringing her to Winterfaux at all? 

Mari: I can only think that maybe they think she is a Wildling with ~*secrets*~, having both traveled with the Starks and been on the other side of the wall. That’s kind of a stretch. Another theory is that Osha and Rickon were kept safe at House Umber for a while until these turn of events, during which they were just grabbed by Littlejon and brought on over. IDK.

Also, I’m deeply distressed by the sight of Shaggydog’s head. I CANNOT EVEN WITH THIS. It hurts me more than character deaths at this point. 

Catherine: The wall. Jon Snow is brooding. (D: I guess death doesn’t change EVERYTHING.) (M: It makes some things stronger.) Definitely Edd comes in and tells him it’s time. A crowd has gathered outside to watch as Ser Allister and his cronies including Ollie are hanged. Jon asks if they have any lasts words. One guys says Jon shouldn’t be alive and it isn’t right. Batman Snow looks like he wants to agree with him. Another guy says he wants Jon to write to his mother and tell her that he died fighting the Wildlings. Ser Allister sorry not sorrys that he did what he thought was right and says that he gets to rest now while Jon is gonna be fighting these battles forever now that he’s undead. Ollie doesn’t say anything but looks scared and angry. Jon Snow can barely look at him. He turns around to cut the rope that hangs them. There’s a definite sound of four necks snapping but then they still look like they’re struggling. Whatever.

Jon Snow puts his sword away and hands Definitely Edd his cloak, telling him to burn the bodies.

Definitely Edd is like WTF am I supposed to do with this cloak? And Jon tells him he can do whatever he wants because he’s Lord Commander now. Jon Snow says that his watch has ended and walks through the crowd and out the gates.

Diva: If you look up “swag” in a dictionary, that gif is what comes up.

Mari: Also, though, “zombie.” 

Catherine: So this was a pretty okay episode for the most part that ended with a big WTF! NO! with Rickon and Osha getting captured and Shaggydog getting killed. There are a lot of people on the internet who seem to think that there’s a possibility that, since the wolf’s head that they showed was kinda small, it might not have actually been Shaggydog but some other wolf. I’m gonna go ahead and embrace this like it’s grandma on Christmas ’cause I don’t want any more Direwolves to die. Although, Rickon did look appropriately disturbed by the head and I’m not sure he would be able to do that if it was just a random wolf. Unless he thinks it was Shaggydog and it really wasn’t? Maybe?

Diva: Yeah, I didn’t notice that when I watched, because I’m not an expert in direwolf head sizes or whatever. But I’m siding with the internet on this one just because PLEASE GODS PLEASE STOP KILLING DIREWOLVES.

Mari: If that’s true and they have kept Osha alive, then I gotta wonder at what House Umber is even playing. It puts the fact that Rickon and Osha were supposed to have made it to them a bit ago in a different light.

Catherine: Either way, we continue to be over Ramsay and his cartoonishly evil presence on the show. I was sort of hoping that they’d give his character a bit of a break for a while after Sansa escaped but I guess they felt like they had to bring him in again to torture another Stark. I hate the thought of Rickon being in his grimy clutches and I dread watching those scenes. Hopefully Osha will figure a way out of this quickly.

As for the other stuff, the Tower of Joy was intriguing. I have not read the books but I do have the internet so I kinda know the fan theory associated with the tower and what it might mean for a certain character. I feel like they’ve done a great job casting young Sean Bean’s this season, anyway.

Diva: I think everyone knows that I basically threw up in excitement as soon as I realized we were at the Tower of Joy. (Throwing up in excitement: the happier cousin of farting in fear.)

Catherine: I’m glad that my baby Arya has her sight back and is Daredevil now and I’m pretty happy that Jon Snow took his shit and left the Wall. I was getting pretty tired of that story line. Is it possible that he will go and save Rickon? Maybe? Is that wishful thinking? Probably.

Mari: I’ll just end by considering the episode title, referring to these things: Jon abandoning the oath he swore to the Night’s Watch and Smalljon Umber possibly forsaking the oath he swore to House Stark. That last one calls all the way back to season 1 when Robb threatened to have Bigjon Umber hanged for oathbreaking and then Grey Wind mauled some of Umber’s fingers. To see Smalljon now returning Shaggydog’s head to Winterfaux (maybe) is really a big time kick in the gut.

On that lovely note, #gameofsnark Tweets for this episode:

 

Previously, on #gameofthrones – all hell broke loose. Also, zombie Jon Snow. #gameofsnark

— Rhonda Cowsert (@rcowsert) May 9, 2016

No! Shut up, Tormund. Jon Snow’s dick is HUGE. It was a medium-sized Jesus rag. Don’t ruin my fantasies. #gameofsnark

— Catherine McGinnes (@CatherineJane91) May 9, 2016

idk, i feel like if i were in the night’s watch and the lord commander came back to life i might at least kneel or something #gameofsnark

— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) May 9, 2016

TOWER OF JOY! Tower of Joy #GameofThrones #gameofsnark

— Vanashree Shende (@VanashreeS) May 9, 2016

TOWER OF JOY TOWER OF JOY ALERT ALERT MY HEART’S EXPLODING #GameofThrones #gameofsnark

— Democracy Diva (@democracydiva) May 9, 2016

Damn – not only does she have to live with the creepy old women but she has to wear shitty clothes. #GameofThrones #gameofsnark

— Rhonda Cowsert (@rcowsert) May 9, 2016

“so Jon, now that you’re alive, what will you do with your time?”

“Brood, probably.”
#gameofsnark

— Haley Dercher (@HaleyDercher) May 9, 2016

I just mentioned Rickon last episode were the Old God’s listening?!?!?! #gameofsnark

— Samantha Ania (@SamanthaSpice91) May 9, 2016

After reading one highly speculative article, I am now a Shaggydog Truther because it makes it easier to live in this world. #gameofsnark

— Nicole Sweeney (@SweeneySays) May 11, 2016

 

Don’t forget to join us every Sunday at 9pm EST for #gameofsnark live, though you can Tweet whenever you catch the episode. We’ll keep looking for our favorite Tweets until the recap goes life.

We hope to have episode 4 up this week too so we won’t fall behind like last season.

Time is hard.

Next time on Game of Thrones: Reunited and it feels so good in S06 E04 – Book of the Stranger.