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Game of Thrones S06 E04 – A literal explosion of girl power.

Previously: Broken promises, make unders, and THAT BETTER NOT BE SHAGGYDOG.
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Book of the Stranger

Marines: We get another extensive previously section and it reminds us that Littlefinger exists. I think they are going to whip out one “remember them??” character per episode.

Catherine: This whole season has been like a Westeros High reunion. 

Mari: Before Facebook, when you really didn’t know what anyone was doing.

The credits take us to King’s Landing, The Eyrie, Winterfaux of Perpetual Sadness, across the Narrow Sea to Vaes Dothrak, and finally to Meereen.

We start the episode with a close-up on Longclaw. Definitely Edd comes forward and picks up Longclaw, walking back a few steps to where we see that Jon Snow is packing. Edd asks where Jon will go, and his simple answer is “south, to get warm.” Edd is not in a joking mood. He can’t believe that Jon is leaving them after what they saw north of the Wall, with all those Executive White Walkers and all. Edd reminds Jon that he swore an oath, and Jon is like, “yeah, I swore my life AND I GAVE IT.” We talked a bit about this in comments last week, about how Edd and others might see this as oathbreaking, where Jon is very literally interpreting the oath. What’s the good of resurrection if it can’t get you out of life terms, right?

Democracy Diva: I love how Jon had that whole dramatic riding off moment at the end of the last episode… and then went back because he didn’t actually pack anything. Dramatic moments are easy, but going south without a second pair of underwear is hard.

Mari: This argument is interrupted by a horn blowing, signaling the arrival of someone. We cut outside and the gates open to reveal Brienne, Pod and Sansa. If your entire body didn’t flood with happiness and relief and sadness and FEELINGS the moment you saw Sansa outside of the gates of Castle Black, I don’t know if we can be friends. I don’t know how I’m typing through the emotions right now, to be honest. Probably magic.

Diva: I gasped, and my jaw remained on the ground for a solid minute. I truly did not dare to even hope that Sansa would make it to the Wall before Jon left. This BLEW MY MIND. I cried a whole lot.

Catherine: So it’s turns out that it was a good thing that he forgot his underwear. 

Mari: Probably the first time it was ever good that someone forgot their underwear.

The men of the Night’s Watch and The Wildlings all look at the party appraisingly. Tormund and Brienne share a look and I’m prepared to abandon my Jon/Tormund ship for Brienne/Tormund. I think I’d pretty much ship Tormund with a piece of toast at this point, but I’m interrupting a very beautiful and sad upcoming moment.

Diva: Sorry, I was busy googling Tormund slashfic, what are we talking about?

Mari: REUNION.

Sansa dismounts and she’s got her back turned, but we see Jon exit the room he’s in and look out at the scene. Sansa turns around and they see each other. There is a pause where they both just stand still and look. Jon is the first to move. He goes down to where Sansa is. There is primarily a look of disbelief on both their faces as they stand before each other, like they cannot believe this is happening as much as we cannot believe that this is happening. Like if anyone moves too suddenly this will not be real. Like they are scared that this isn’t real. (D: Tearing up reading this. Thanks, Mari.) (C: I need a sec for crying hold on.)

This lasts a few seconds right until Sansa launches herself into the arms of her brother. They hug and she honest to goodness nuzzles Jon a little bit and I’m crying and it’s one of the most beautiful things we’ve seen on this show.

Catherine: TBH if you watched this and didn’t cry you are DEAD INSIDE (or you have more important things in your life or whatever). 

Mari: We cut to Sansa and Jon indoors, sitting by a fire. She’s all cleaned up now, and she’s carefully sipping some soup. Jon is watching her. She asks him if he remembers the kidney pies they used to make. This bit of reminiscing quickly leads them to regretting the day they left Winterfell. Sansa says she wishes she could go back to that day and yell at herself, “don’t go, you idiot.” Jon excuses them for not knowing any better, for being children. Sansa says that she’s spent a lot of time thinking about how awful she was to Jon. He tells her it’s fine because he probably wasn’t all that great, sulking in a corner while the rest of them played. Still, Sansa asks for forgiveness and insists even after Jon tells her there is no need. He forgives her. She reaches out her hand for his ale, and he hesitates before passing it. She takes a big swallow, which by her reaction we can tell she almost instantly regrets.

We’ll end this little section with some Stark Smile Porn:

 
 
Diva: *sniffle* 

Mari: Sansa asks Jon where he’ll go now and he corrects her: where will we go. “If I don’t watch over you, father’s ghost will come back and murder me.” Sansa corrects her question and smiles a little. It’s another sweet moment before talk gets real. Sansa says they can only go back home. They have to fight for it, take it back from the Boltons with the help of the Wildlings that owe their lives to Jon. He snaps that he’s tired of fighting because it’s all he’s done since he left Winterfell. He’s killed brothers, Wildlings, men he admires, and even children. Jon says he fought and he lost.

Sansa considers him and I can only imagine that in that moment, she thinks about all the ways she’s fought and lost. She was there when her father was murdered. She’s been married off, shuffled around, used as a pawn, abused and raped. She’s had so little agency for so long and here in this moment, after also having fought and lost and lost and lost, she won’t take that reply from Jon. Jon died but how many deaths has Sansa experienced? Jon was stabbed by his brothers, but how many people have have betrayed Sansa? And here zombie Jon is without a shred of hope and here Sansa is, not accepting that as an answer.

They won’t be safe until they take back the North. She wants Jon’s help to reclaim it, but she’ll do it alone if she has to. I love her so much it hurts.

Diva:  Sansa is making decisions and setting the rules and my heart is singing. I can basically feel the female empowerment surging through my veins.

Catherine: Can we talk about how much she was like Catelyn in this moment? Without bursting into tears, I mean. 

Mari: Probably not.

Ser Davos finds Creepy Red (Old) Lady Melisandre and asks if she’ll stay at Castle Black. She says she’ll do as Jon Snow commands. Davos asks if she serves Jon now and she confirms by saying that he is the prince that was promised. Davos thought that was Stannis and Creepy Red just walks away like damn, way to make this awkward by bringing up my failed prophecies. Davos follows her and asks what happened. Melisandre gives the tl;dr version: Stannis was defeated. Davos asks about Princess Shireen next and I’m sorry, I can’t actually hear Davos mention Shireen without my heart being torn out. I recently found out that she’s still alive in the books, which makes me feel betterworse.

Diva: Also, thank you, show, for answering all of my burning questions about why Davos would have asked Melisandre to resurrect Jon Snow since she murdered his little princess. HE DIDN’T KNOW! I feel a lot better. And also still sad.

Mari: Brienne steps up now and tells them that she saw what happened. Davos is kind of like, “okay, we were talking here…” and tries to introduce himself. Brienne knows who he is. She tells him that they’ve met before because she was Kingsguard to Renly Baratheon before he was murdered by a freaky vagina monster. Davos and Melisandre have matching OH SHIT looks right now. Davos says that’s in the past, like that’s going to work right now. Brienne says she won’t forgive or forget, especially since Stannis admitted to the murder right before Brienne executed his face off.

Diva: I almost forgot about the Renly shit. This moment was YEARS in the making – almost as many as the Jon/Sansa reunion. I already love this episode a whole damn bunch.

Catherine: I love this continuity. I didn’t even think about the ramifications of Brienne meeting the Red Lady until it happened. But for real, I need Brienne and Davos to be friends because they’re both the good guys. 

Mari: Somewhere in the Eyrie. I don’t know how Bran and Rickon are very 30 right now, but Robert Arryn still looks very… 14? (C: Breastfeeding stunted his growth somehow?) Also, here’s a character I didn’t really ever want to catch up with.

Robin is sucking at life when a carriage approaches. It’s Littlefinger, of course. Robin greets him warmly and now that he’s running, I can better see that this actor has gotten very tall. Maybe it’s the doofy hair that fooled me at first.

Littlefinger gives Robin a belated birthday present: a falcon. Lord Royce, who has been taking care of Robin during this time, asks Littlefinger how Sansa came to be married to Ramsay Bolton. Littlefinger says that they were attacked by Bolton’s men, which is real funny since only Royce knew of Littlefinger’s travel plans. Royce is insulted, but Littlefinger says that it’s Robin’s judgement that counts. Robin only seems to know a handful of words and two of those words are “moon” and “door.” Royce gets nervous and assure Robin that he’s always been loyal to the Arryn family. Robin asks Littlefinger if he believes this. Littlefinger says that Royce enjoyed a successful military career and if they could trust him, he could be an asset in the wars to come. Royce gets the implications here and promises to be loyal. Robin agrees to allow him one more chance.

Diva: Can Sansa bitchslap him across the face again? I miss that.

Mari: Never forget.

Littlefinger moves on to better news: Sansa has escaped Winterfell. He believes she’s probably gone to the Wall where Jon is serving as Lord Commander, but she won’t be safe there as long as the Boltons are in Winterfell. Robin says that Sansa is his cousin and they should help her. Littlefinger says that was his instinct too. He turns back to Royce and tells him to gather the Knights of the Vale. I like help coming to Sansa so much. I like lots of people gathering to get Ramsay the hell out of Winterfell. Littlefinger still gives me the heebie jeebies, though.

Meereen, grumble grumble. (I’m not real hype on this story line at the moment.) Tyrion, Varys, Grey Worm and Missandei watch as a ship approaches Meereen. Grey Worm isn’t happy about the fact that Tyrion invited their enemies for a chat because he would like to kill their enemies. Tyrion says that they tried the military tactic, but he wants to give the diplomatic tactic a go. He also tries to say he has some recent experience with slavery and Missandei shuts him down with a, “how long were you a slave?”

Diva: Missandei basically tells Tyrion to check his privilege. I’m here for it.

Mari: Same.

We cut inside the pyramid where the three men have come to speak on behalf of the leaders of Astapor. In fact, it’s the same dude who bought Tyrion off the slavers so maybe they didn’t want to cast a new actor? IDK. Something. But here they both are now. Tyrion cuts the chat and asks the Astapor Reps what they want. They (for I’m going to refer to them as a unit, obviously) want Dany and the Unsullied out of Slaver’s Bay and not in an “eventually” kind of way. They already offered her ships to go back to Westeros and she refused them. Missandei says she refused because there were still so many people enslaved. Astapor Reps say that they’ve got that historic, “since the dawn of time” slavery going on and that won’t change. Grey Worm replies that it already has. Astapor Reps say that Grey Worm still takes orders, only now his master has “silver hair and tits.” Grey Worm looks like he would like to murder punch them.

Tyrion tries to calm everyone and tells Astapor Reps that you don’t need slaves to make money. Westeros hasn’t had slaves for hundreds of years, and he grew up richer than all of them. Still, Tyrion says that Daenarys recognizes that she made a mistake by trying to abolish slavery all at once without providing a system to replace it. Tyrion’s proposal is this: slavery will not return to Meereen and in the other cities, they have seven years to move away from slavery. The masters will be compensated at fair prices. This is Tyrion’s final offer and in exchange, Astapor stops funding the Sons of the Harpy. The Astapor Reps are like, “WE NEVER,” but Tyrion’s all, “yeah, okay. But stop funding them anyway.” He seals the negotiations with prostitutes, telling the reps to give freedom a chance. Missandei looks like she’s going to puke, but she follows as they all leave the room.

In another pyramid room, there are some men angrily whispering in Valyrian. The long and short of it (seriously, get me out of Meereen) is that they are angry that Tyrion invited slavers to Meereen. Tyrion tries to say that Grey Worm was on his side while they had peace talks and these men are like “OMG PEACE?” They ask Grey Worm about peace with the men that kept them in slavery and Tyrion looks at him with Big Eyes. Grey Worm says he’s a soldier, not a politician, but if there is a chance for just peace, they should take it. The men next ask Missandei how she can trust the masters. Tyrion turns his Big Eyes on her. She says that she doesn’t trust the masters, but a wise man once said that we make peace with our enemies, not our friends.

Outside, Grey Worm tells Tyrion not to involve them in his lies. Grey Worm serves Dany, not Tyrion. Tyrion says that slavery is awful and war is awful and he’d like to end both immediately, but he can’t do both in one day. Grey Worm thinks Tyrion doesn’t understand the masters. They don’t see the slaves as people. They can’t be trusted. They will end up using Tyrion even while Tyrion thinks he is using them. Tyrion looks pensive.

Diva: I’m actually liking this plotline a little more after these scenes. Maybe because I find the political machinations interesting, or maybe because I think everyone is actually making good points. Or maybe because American politics are so fucked up that I’d rather focus on some imaginary city’s leadership problems for awhile. 

Mari: I think it’s all interesting to think about but not necessarily to watch. Everyone is making good points. Slavery is such an awful institution and by being an institution, it leaves a gap where it is removed from places or culture. Tyrion sees that and is trying to work with that primarily in a way to appease the masters in order to promote lasting abolition. However, seven more years of slavery is seven more years of slavery. Tyrion is dealing from his position of privilege and I really like that Grey Worm and Missandei aren’t about it. All that said, in practice, there is something missing from these scenes for me. It seems to be spinning its wheels in a way I can’t quite identify.

Elsewhere, Daario and Jorah are climbing terrible looking mountains in some really unfortunate sun. Jorah is out of breath because he’s old and dying. Daario takes this opportunity to be awful and say that Jorah couldn’t “ride the dragon,” by which he means have sex with Dany. I just tune the rest of this out because I’m not sure when Daario turned into a fuckboy.

I tune back in when we see Jorah and Daario scouting out the road into Vaes Dothrak. Jorah explains about the Widow Camp, which is where they’ll most likely find Dany. Jorah stands and takes off his sword, saying that no weapons are allowed in the city. If they are spotted, they can pretend to be traders. They can’t fight their way out, but they can sneak around at night and find Dany. Daario reluctantly takes off his own sword. Jorah holds out his hand for the knife he knows Daario also has. While he’s doing this, Daario spots Jorah’s Greyscale. Jorah assures him that they haven’t touched, but Daario still doesn’t want to get too close.

Vaes Dothrak at night. Jorah and Daario are sneaking around while there is much noise, merrymaking and public sex. Those two are soon discovered by two Dothraki. Jorah tries to play like a lost merchant, but the Dothraki aren’t buying. Dothraki 1 sends Dothraki 2 to go get more men. Daario chases Dothraki 2 while Jorah fights Dothraki 1. Daario successfully stops Dothraki 2 before he gets anyone else’s attention. Jorah isn’t faring well in his fight, because have you heard that he’s old and dying? Daario saves him at the last minute by stabbing Dothraki 1 with the knife he totally didn’t ditch before entering the city. Jorah says that if someone finds that body with a stab wound, they are going to be looking all over the city for intruders. Dario’s solution is grab a nearby rock and beat the guts out of the dead body.

Widow Camp. The lady who is seems is the Lead Widow tells Dany that some of the Dothraki women don’t think the Khals should breed with foreign wives, but that’s been going on forever. Lead Widow points out a young girl who was taken by her Khal at the age of 12. When she got pregnant soon after, her Khal broke her ribs. She somehow transitions from that terrible story to her honest hope that Dany gets to live at Widow Camp, because the other alternatives are horrible. Dany says she’s got to go pee. Lead Widow warns her not to run from the Dothraki. Dany says she never will. Lead Widow sends I Was a 12 Year Old Bride to accompany Dany.

Outside, Dany says that she needed a break from the old lady smell, and I Was 12 agrees that they stink. After a bit more chit chat about awful Khals and dragons, Daario grabs I Was 12 from behind and holds a hand over her mouth. Dany tells him not to hurt her. Dany doesn’t think that they can get out of Vaes Dothrak alive, but she does have a plan and her boys can help her. Dany tells I Was 12 to trust her and not to give her away. I Was 12 agrees.

Diva: “Oh, what’s that, bro? You have a really stupid plan? Don’t worry, I got this.” – basically every woman on this show right now. Can every episode be Sansa and Dany telling the respective men in their lives to get their shit together?

Mari: Perhaps only in our dreams.

King’s Landing and my other least favorite place, the Faith Militant’s prison. A septa collects Margaery and brings her to the High Sparrow’s room. Margaery shields her eyes against the sun light and is forced to kneel before the High Sparrow.


He asks her where she’d go if he let her go right now. Margaery says she’d find her brother, her husband, and her family. The High Sparrow says that for her, that means seeking out riches, finery, and sin. He then starts on a story about how he was once a cobbler and I’m just rolling my eyes because I want to listen to 0% of this.

The whole story is basically that the High Sparrow made shoes and wanted money and pretty things. Then one day he had a party and got drunk but when he woke up the next morning, he was surrounded by stinky rich people and he found clarity. He should’ve just found some asprin, water, and starches, not extremist religion but OKAY. He left his life with no shoes on and never turned back. The High Sparrow extends his hand to Margaery and offers to let her see her brother.

Okay, so we’ve talked about how much we hate the Faith Militant, right? It’s uncomfortable in the way we would expect an extremist to be, but I’ve also got to say that the High Sparrow is playing some intense mind games right now. I can’t even with how much he manipulates and punishes and rewards the people he’s imprisoned. Hard pass on the High Sparrow.

Diva: They imprison gay guys and make women do naked walks of shame, so I was never really gonna be Team Faith Militant. But yeah. Cosign.

Mari: We cut to Margaery being let into Loras’s cell. Loras is on the floor in bad shape. He starts sobbing as soon as Margaery grabs him by the soldiers. She tells him that he has to be strong because he is the future of their family. Loras doesn’t care about that. He just wants this to stop. Margaery is on to the mind games and she knows that the Sparrow has let her here in order to help tear Loras down. He again says that he doesn’t care. He just wants Margaery to make it stop. She holds her brother as he cries.

Catherine: These two look super greasy and unshowered in this scene and for some reason I really appreciate this detail even as I cringe about how bad they would probably smell. 

Mari: Red Keep. Cersei walks up as Pycelle is counseling King Tommen. Cersei busts into the room and tells Pycelle to GTFO, despite his insistence that he’s offering his counsel. Tommen of course sides with his mommy and dismisses Pycelle from the room. (D: He takes SO LONG to leave the room. Someone should have noticed he’s faking that walk by now.) Once he’s gone, Tommen says he’s been thinking a lot about the High Sparrow and how bad it would be to antagonize a man like that. He wants to make sure that Margaery is safe. Cersei snaps at this but I can’t exactly tell what her objection is. She’s just like, “YOU SAW WHAT THEY DID TO ME.” And, like, yeah? I think Tommen is saying you shouldn’t antagonize the man with the collection of Shame Bells.

Tommen ask/tells Cersei that she doesn’t like Margaery and Cersei says that’s irrelevant. (C: I literally said “Oh Tommen, honey, duh” out loud at this point.) Queens and Kings should command respect, but the High Sparrow doesn’t value them. He doesn’t value anything of this world, except perhaps his single potato sack. Tommen has been looking uncomfortable throughout this conversation and tells Cersei that he wants to tell her something, but the High Sparrow wouldn’t like it if he did. Knowing the High Sparrow, he’s probably counting on Tommen to make whatever confession is forthcoming.

We don’t get to hear it because the writers of this show are basically just like an old man raven in a tree. We cut instead to Jamie and Cersei interrupting a small council meeting. Grandma Flowerboss thought she made it perfectly clear that they can’t sit with her. Cersei reminds Olenna that she once said that she admired Tywin because he knew how to work with his rivals. Olenna says that Cersei has been stripped of her dignity and authority, publicly shamed and confined to the Red Keep. What’s left to work with? Jaime says that Cersei is the mother of the king and has the king’s ear and trust. Tommen has been talking to the High Sparrow about Margaery and Loras. Cersei’s trial will be in a few days but before that, Margaery is going to have her walk of atonement. Olenna is basically like, “oh, hell no,” and sits down to negotiations.

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Catherine: I loved Olenna’s reaction to this. It’s a good reminder that she is really doing all this for her grandchildren. Also a reminder of how on point Diana Rigg’s acting is. 

Mari: Jaime sits down and lays out their proposal: The Tyrell army will come into the city and stop the walk of shame before it starts, taking the Queen back into the custody of the crown. Kevan says that he’s been forbidden by the King to do anything against the High Sparrow. Jaime says that Kevan won’t be expected to do anything. When the Tyrell army marches in, they will stand down. The whole thing will be over quickly and once Margaery is back and the High Sparrow is arrested or dead, he doubts Tommen will be mad about what they did. Kevan warns that if it doesn’t go as planned, they are looking at a civil war and many people will die. Olenna says that many people will die anyway and it’s better “them than us.”

I truly trust Olenna not to do crazy things but this smells. I don’t know what the High Sparrow could’ve possibly told Tommen, but the one big secret the Tyrells have is their role in killing Joffrey. I’m not sure that Loras knew that or was involved, but if he was, that secret is spilt. So spilt. I briefly thought that maybe Margaery was pregnant, but I’m not sure how much Cersei would care about that. Same with the secret actually being Margaery’s impending Walk of Shame. Why would we cut away from that? Simply to avoid repetition? And would Cersei care about that at all or is she using the Walk of Shame as an excuse to shut the Faith Militant down before her trial? Additionally, something stinks about this whole thing about the Tyrell army marching in while the Kingsguard stands by. If things go wrong, it’s going to look like the Tyrells acted alone and I don’t like it.

Diva: Fuck if I know what’s going on, but I love the idea of the Lannisters and the Tyrells having to unite against a common enemy, even if it’s clearly going to blow up in everyone’s faces.

Mari: Ship. Theon is home.

Theon finds Yara sitting in a room. She didn’t believe it when they told her that Theon had returned home. She asks if Ramsay let him got and Theon says he escaped, but so quietly and meekly that Yara tells him to speak up. Yara is pissed because she lost good men when she went to rescue Theon. He apologizes and says that Ramsay broke him into a 1,000 pieces and Yara says she knows because Ramsay sent her one of those pieces. Theon sobs. Yara thinks it’s real convenient that Theon just showed up now after their father has died. Theon swears he didn’t know. He just had nowhere else to go. He doesn’t want to be king. Yara grabs him, tells him to stop crying, and asks what it is that he wants. Theon says that Yara should rule the Iron Islands and that he can help her.

Diva: 

Catherine: I can’t believe these two, who I used to hate are now giving me feels but they are. The sibling feels in this episode are a lot. They’re a lot, guys. Also: Yara 2016. 

Mari: Hey! Another one of my least favorite places. We’re making the whole tour today. Winterfaux. Osha is brought to Ramsay as he’s peeling an apple in a super murder-y way. Ramsay asks Osha if she’s seen his banner, the flayed man, and if that worries her at all. Osha lazily looks out the window and asks if Ramsay he eats them after he flays them. He says no. Osha scoffs and replies that she’s seen worse then. Ramsay seems amused. S06 E05: Ramsay the Cannibal. If you put it past this show/character, welcome to this show/character.

Osha tries to play it off like the Starks forced her to serve and she was just staying with Rickon to eventually sell him. Ramsay asks what good Osha is to him? Osha straddles him and says that she knows what he wants: what men always want. She can tell because they took her bath and everything. She starts kissing him and eyeing the knife on the table and everything in me is tense even though nothing Ramsay does would surprise me. I JUST DON’T WANT TO SEE IT.

As Osha rubs up on Ramsay, he’s telling her that she’s a much better talker than Theon Greyjoy. This totally not sexy talk doesn’t seem to alarm her and she keeps reaching for the knife as he says that Theon told him all about the Stark boys, who helped them escape, and how she did it. At that moment, Ramsay grabs the knife before she can and stabs her in the throat. She bleeds out and dies. He cleans off his knife and keeps murdering his apple.

I’m so sorry, Osha.

SOMEONE. PLEASE. KILL RAMSAY.

Diva: These Ramsay scenes have become so impossible to watch that I was actually relieved when he stabbed her. It was over quickly. Yay?

Catherine: I’m just so sick of Ramsay. And not in a ‘love to hate’ kinda way but more of a ‘WE GET IT’ kinda way. This scene would’ve been shocking if Ramsay hadn’t already murdered 87 other people this season. At this point he could show up and horribly murder me and I’d be like ugh, get a life.  

Mari: A+

Castle Black. A Bolton soldier with a white flag arrives. Inside, Sansa is not enjoying her terrible Wall food. Tormund is making sexy eyes at Brienne while he eats and Brienne cannot handle it. Do not ruin this, Tormund.

 
 
Diva: I cannot stop grinning at this gifset. Tormund’s sexy eyes, Brienne’s complete confusion, and Edd’s thoughtful potential approval (am I projecting?) – all of this is perfect. 

Mari: Dinner is awkward and only takes a turn for horrible when a letter gets delivered to Jon from Ramsay.

“To the traitor and bastard Jon Snow:
You allowed thousands of wildlings past the Wall. You have betrayed your own kind, you have betrayed the North. Winterfell is mine, bastard, come and see. Your brother Rickon is in my dungeon. His direwolf’s skin is on my floor, come and see.

I want my bride back. Send her to me, bastard, and I will not trouble you or your wildling lovers. Keep her from me, and I will ride north and slaughter every wildling man, woman, and babe living under your protection. You will watch as I skin them living.”

Jon falters at this point, though Sansa tells him to keep reading. He won’t, so she takes the letter out of his hand and keeps reading:

“You will watch as my soldiers take turns raping your sister. You will watch as my dogs devour your wild little brother. Then I will spoon your eyes from their sockets and let my dogs do the rest. Come and see.

Ramsay Bolton Lord of Winterfell, and Warden of the North.”

Diva: I basically cheered when Sansa was all, “stop bullshitting me, Jon. I know what this letter says, and I’m not afraid to say it out loud.”

Catherine: I cheered when someone finally cared enough about Sansa to not read a diatribe about her getting raped out loud. 

Mari: Jon repeats, “Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North,” and Sansa correctly guesses that Ramsay has killed his father. And now he has Rickon. Jon tries to say that they don’t know that, but Sansa has seen enough of who Ramsay is to know, without a doubt, that all of this is true. She’s seen enough to have a keen idea of the politics at play. She’s been a tool enough that now that she has a very clear view of what needs to happen and what she wants to happen, she isn’t letting this go.

Tormund asks how many men the Boltons have in their army. Sansa replies 5,000. Jon turns to Tormund and asks how many men they have. Only 2,000 that can fight. The rest are children or the elderly. They also have one Creepy Red Lady that can birth vagina assassins. (D: And resurrect sexy naked lord commanders.) Put that to work is all I’m saying.

Sansa says that Jon is the son of the true Lord of Winterfell. Northern families are loyal and they will fight for him if he asks. Jon looks uncertain so Sansa grabs his hand and says that a monster has their home and their brother. They have to go back and fight for them both. Jon quietly shakes his head.

Diva: SANSA TAKING CHARGE. Have I mentioned how much I love this? Only like four times? Cool. I’m definitely not done yet.

Mari: Vaes Dothrak. Someone found the dead body of Dothraki 1 and Khal Moro is basically like, “well, he shouldn’t have let his head meet a rock.” Rough out here in Vaes Dothrak.

Dany is brought in by Lead Widow and I Was 12. The men gathered all have varying degrees of interest in her fate and disgusting opinions on what to do with Dany. She speaks up and asks if they care to know what she thinks. Moro says she has no voice because this is the temple of the Dosh Khaleen and she is not yet Dosh Khaleen. Dany knows where she is because she’s been here before. This is where the Dosh Khaleen said her baby would be the Stallion That Mounts the World. Moro reminds her how that ended, with Dany trusting a sorceress, her baby dying and Khal Drogo dying. Dany doesn’t remind him how that ended for the sorceress, but we’re getting there.

Dany starts walking around the little raised platform and steps up on top of it, saying that this is also where Kahl Drogo promised to ride West for her and conquer those lands. Now, these men gather and discuss which villages to raid, because they are small men not fit to rule the Dothraki. But she is. They laugh at her and Moro threatens her with rape some more, but she just smiles and smiles. He think she’s crazy but what she actually is is surrounded by fire lamps. She places her hand on one, not flinching in any way. Dany says that these men aren’t going to serve her. They are going to die. She pushes the fire over and it catches quickly in the tent.



Moro and some other of his men make it to the door, but it’s been barred on the outside. Daario and Jorah watch from a safe distance away. The entire Khalasar comes running toward the temple to see it catch fire. After a few moments, the door collapses and out of the fire comes a naked Daenarys. She stands there, still pretty much in the flames, and looks defiantly at them all. They start to bow before her. Daario and Jorah walk forward in the crowd and soon, Jorah is on his knees as well. Daario looks at Dany a little longer but then also kneels.

Diva: There are actually too many Beyoncé gifs relevant to this situation. Like, I just spent twenty minutes in a Beyoncé gifhole, but fuck it, just watch Lemonade again and imagine Beyoncé with three dragons.<

Mari: We pan out to the lager image of the temple on fire and a sea of (brown) (sorry, had to be said AGAIN) people kneeling before that fireproof Khaleesi. Looks like someone’s army just got a wee bit stronger.

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Catherine: Yeah, idk how this show let me forget that Dany can FUCKING WALK THROUGH FIRE but it did. I forgot that. I’m not saying it needs to happen every week, I’m just saying…

Mari: Look, this episode was always going to be one of the best hours of TV I’ve seen in a very long while because I’ve been WAITING for a Stark reunion and it finally happened. It isn’t lost on me that it happened between the two Starks that probably had the least amount of interaction even in that first season. It happened between the two that could arguably be considered the furthest apart. It was touching and beautiful and I’m only sad we didn’t replace scenes with, say, Ramsay with more hugging and crying and forgiveness and STARK LAUGHS.

Also, have I mentioned how damn much I love Sansa? This episode very specifically directed us to remember Sansa as we met her. She was difficult to swallow then, and even as Jon excuses her youth, she acknowledges her bratty behavior. I think that moment and this whole episode really highlight Sansa’s evolution as a character. Yes, there were missteps and I would’ve been perfectly fine with this moment had she never been raped, but so much of her story was about her role as a high born lady in a kingdom where she had power only in rank and not in action. To contrast that now with her dead set on war, on reclaiming their home… She’s a fighter just as much as the other Starks and I think we’ve always seen that in her, even when she was surviving within the confines of castles and forced alliances. Now, we’ll see that in how she commands, how she’s more authority and steel.

This episode gave us a few broken men and the women trying to hold them together. We’ve talked about all of Sansa’s determination up against Jon’s back-from-the-dead resignation. We also saw Margaery looking innocent, interested and a little bit humble before the feet of the High Sparrow, only to see her moments later cradling her brother, telling him to be strong. I got the very real sense that if we ever thought that Margaery was breaking because of how we saw her acting previously, we were wrong. The prison has broken Loras (and we don’t know exactly what’s been happening to him) so it’s Margaery’s role to be the strong one here. We see this again with Yara and Theon. A broken Theon returns home to find his sister still pretty mad about her failed rescue attempt and also determined to rule. We crown the episode, of course, with a literal explosion of girl power as Dany steps out of the flames. I’m okay with what this development does for her story, though the whole stepping out of the fire/brown people bowing things are two that we’ve seen before. It also wasn’t surprising at all when they are framing her shots with fire, you know? So it’s satisfying, though perhaps a bit recycled.

Diva: Mari already said it best. “Literal explosion of girl power.” This was my favorite episode in a very, VERY long time. +1 to everything about the women holding broken men together, making them stronger – I love it all.

I am so curious as to where the show takes Sansa from here. As evolved and determined as she is, I can’t forget that she’s learned everything she knows about the game of thrones from Cersei and Littlefinger, two of the most conniving motherfuckers around. Littlefinger even more so, because Cersei isn’t quite as smart as she thinks she is. Sansa has survived so much, but now she’s leading this noble charge to rescue her brother and reclaim her home. And it’s obviously not going to be as simple as that. I can’t wait to see how she handles these new challenges – ones that put her in a leadership role rather than a subservient one. This is the beginning of Sansa handling problems that she creates with her own agency, rather than problems that happen to her. That makes every part of her story ten times more interesting, that we’re going to deal with the consequences of her own decisions. I honestly can’t think of anything I’m more excited to see on this show, with the possible exception of more Lyanna Stark. And a Tormund-Brienne love story.

Catherine: I totally agree with all of this yes, yes, yes. All of the plot dissection. This episode was very much Sansa’s and that’s incredibly heart-warming after she was beaten and tortured throughout all of last season. If it continues on like this, watching her come back is gonna be like watching a motherfucking beautiful butterfly come out of it’s cocoon and bitch slap a bunch of people. 

Like I said, the sibling feels in this episode were heavy but in a good way. The reunions of Sansa/Jon, Yara/Theon and Margarey/Loras were all sweet in their own way (with Yara/Theon being REALLY in it’s own way, because you kinda have to know them to realize that a shoulder squeeze is probably the most affection either of them has ever been shown ever). The idea that the Lannisters and Grandma Flowerboss are gonna be working together is exciting and I’m 700% interested in it. And I liked that the Dany retirement story line didn’t drag out for the rest of the season like I was worried it was going to. All in all, it seems like so far this season may be sort of getting away from being terrible? So far? 

Mari: On that hopeful note, let’s check out our #gameofsnark Tweets!

Remember to join us every week at 9pm EST for #gameofsnark live-Tweets or you can Tweet whenever you watch the episode! We keep looking at the tag until it’s time to publish the recaps.

Until next time!

 

Next time on Game of Thrones: Arya and Brienne both go on some kind of missions in S06 E05 – The Door.
Marines (all posts)

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.





DemocracyDiva (all posts)

I'm a J.D. by day/blogger by night who directs her snark and judgment primarily towards celebrities and their many red carpet mishaps. Blogging from the style capital of the world (just kidding - I live in DC), I rant and rave over the best and worst in fashion and pop culture.





Catherine (all posts)

I am a 30-something year-old human woman who lives in Maine. I'm a freelance writer who mostly spends time that I should be doing that, watching T.V. I also love reading and comic books way too much.





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Marines

I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.