After Chapter 13 – Extreme Hair Flip

Previously: The very first time Hardin made eye contact with Tessa.
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Marines: After spending 11 baby chapters at a party, the rest of the weekend goes by in a sentence and with no Hardin sightings. Tessa does go shopping for new clothes, but apparently they are more church clothes Hardin would not approve of. Tessa says it doesn’t matter, though, because she’s sworn off parties with Steph and being near or around Hardin. It’s really funny that she thinks that after spending the entire party judging people, barging into rooms with out knocking, complaining, yelling at people, and turning faucets on people’s heads while they threw up, she would ever be invited to another party, but fine.

The List of Actual Good Decisions Tessa Has Made

1. Not accepting unidentified alcoholic drinks
2. Not leaving her passed out friend alone
3. Not hanging around the creepy dude with terrible eye contact

Anyway, it’s Monday and time for Tessa’s first day of classes. She’s super prepared and wakes up extra early to make sure she can take a shower in the co-ed showers in the girl’s dorm room without any boys coming from across campus to be inexplicably in these showers. She’s wearing a “perfectly ironed” white button up shirt and a tan pleated skirt. I know she calls it “tan” but I think we all know what’s happening here, right?

Samantha: Why won’t the khaki skirt die??? If we ever make a horror movie it will feature the villainous skirt! 

Mari: As Tessa is preparing to leave, 15 minutes early of course, Steph’s alarm goes off and she hits snooze. Dear God, when will Steph’s bad behavior end? THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

Tessa leaves and she finds her first class pretty easily because she’s studied the campus map. The class is empty, save for one person. The entire class is full of free seats, but Tessa decides to sit next to the one dude that’s there so she’s that person. (S: Of course she is.) She smiles at Responsible Boy and asks where everyone else is and he laughs that they are probably running across campus to barely make it on time. Tessa likes him immediately because she’s apparently found someone who enjoys moral superiority first thing in the morning, just like her!

Tessa introduces herself. Responsible Boy is Landon Gibson, and he’s another character based on a member of 1D: Liam.

Landon and Tessa chat with all their free time before class. They are both English majors, and Landon’s got a girlfriend named Dakota. Tessa really likes Landon, primarily because he doesn’t say anything when she tells him that Noah is a grade below her. That’s a really low standard of people, but okay Tessa. Maybe you should tell Landon about Noah’s lip liner collection and see if he judges that.

The class fills up and Tessa and Landon make it a point to introduce themselves to the professor. (S: Everything she says is dripping with snobbery.)

We cut to the end of the day with Tessa barely making it on time to her final class. Um, so probably she shouldn’t have been so damn judgey five seconds ago about people who barely make it on time. Shit happens. Also, Tessa is taking five classes and she apparently has all five on the same day? In college? That seems highly unlikely and/or really poorly planned.

Samantha: What the heck? The only time I’ve ever seen this happen is if someone needed to only have classes certain days of the week. And definitely not with a first semester freshman? Is this like when E.L. James didn’t know Americanisms?

Mari: Pretty much exactly.

There is a free seat in the front of the classroom next to Landon. Class starts and Tessa thinks about how thankful she is that in college the professors don’t make you introduce yourself or do anything embarrassing. I’m almost certain that I’ve had professors make us do introductions (S: yes.), but who knows. College and I have a long history and I’m sure I’ve forgotten most of it, hopefully as I’ll be able to forget this stupid story as soon as I finish reading it.

Hardin walks into this class late and Tessa groans and says “great” under her breath. It must be loud enough for Landon to hear at the desk next to her, so this whole UGH GREAT routine while the professor is talking is a little rude there, Tessa. Then again, Hardin is creepy as hell, so valid reaction is valid.

Landon is surprised that Tessa knows Hardin and Tessa is surprised that Landon, such a nice sweet boy, knows Hardin. Tessa reasons that Hardin must be really bad if the good kid knows him. I use “reason” lightly here because I’m not totally following her logic. Landon starts to tell her how he knows Hardin, but goes quiet because Hardin sits in the desk next to Tessa. (S: Hardin killed Landon’s sister! Or love of the Bronte sisters! One or the other.)

We cut to the end of class. Tessa and Landon walk out together and agree that British Literature will probably be their favorite class. Landon’s face falls when Hardin joins them. Tessa asks Hardin what he wants, trying to give him a taste of his own rude medicine, but Tessa says it doesn’t work because it just amuses him. He mockingly tells her that he’s just so glad they have a class together. Also, he does this while running his hands through his hair, shaking it, and pushing it up on his forehead, which I don’t know, seems like a lot of stuff to be doing to your hair. I push my hair back or kind of shake it out or away, but running hands, shaking and pushing? This is taking the sexy hair flip to the extreme.

Samantha: 

Mari: Landon says he’ll see Tessa later and leaves, which is weird because I thought Hardin and Landon were going to be secret friends because Hardin contains multitudes and also they are in a band together. PLOT TWIST.

As Landon leaves, Hardin calls him totally lame. Tessa explodes.

“Don’t say that about him; he’s a sweet guy. Unlike you.” I’m shocked at my harsh words. He really brings out the worst in me.”

Now I’m using “explodes” as lightly as she uses “harsh.” She literally called Hardin “not sweet,” and she can’t even believe herself. I know there has been some talk about Tessa in the comments and what parts of her are relatable. I was super sheltered when I first went to college, too. I don’t actually think I really understood a lot of life until like… 24. So, I get that the world can be overwhelming and all that jazz, but being shocked at yourself because you called someone “not sweet” seems like a bit of a stretch, especially for anyone who has ever, I don’t know, used the Internet. There is worse crap on Tessa’s Facebook or Twitter or Tumblr RIGHT NOW, I promise.

Hardin tells Tessa that she’s becoming more feisty with every one of their chats.

“If you call me Theresa one more time…” I warn and he laughs. I try to picture what he would look like without his tattoos and piercings. Even with them, he’s very attractive, but his sour personality ruins him.”

Let’s review this series of events in two ways:

1. Tessa mentally alters someone’s looks because she doesn’t approve of his style or choices —-> Tessa calls someone else’s personality sour and ruinous —-> Tessa is not self aware.
2. Tessa asks Hardin to stop calling her something —-> Hardin laughs at her —-> Tessa starts thinking about how attractive he is despite his sinner markings and the fact that he’s laughing at her, right now.

WAIT.

TOO SOON. I THREW THE ROMANCE CONFETTI TOO SOON.

“We begin walking along back in the direction of my dorm and get about twenty steps when all of a sudden he shouts out, “Stop staring at me!” and turns a corner, and disappears down a pathway before I can think of a response.”

The end.

Samantha: What. The heck. Just happened? 

Mari: Probably Anna was originally writing this chapter on her phone while on the pooper and then she finished and ended the chapter with as much grace as she was capable of.

In what is probably going to be an ongoing pattern, I have an edit to make:

The List of Actual Good Decisions Tessa Has Made

1. Not accepting unidentified alcoholic drinks
2. Not leaving her passed out friend alone
3. Not hanging around the creepy dude with terrible eye contact

 

Next time on After: Mr. Darcy makes an appearance of course in After Chapter 14.