Designated Survivor S01 E06 – #NotMyPresident

Previously: Navy SEALs captured a terrorist.
—

The Interrogation

Dani: After the previouslies, we’re taken to a prison filled with heavily armed soldiers. An orange-clad prisoner, his limbs shackled and a black sack over his head, is escorted down many, many hallways in slow motion. Eventually the dude is put in a cell and the bag is removed from his head, but even then the cameraman is weirdly coy about showing us the prisoner’s face. We know from both the previouslies and the cheater-y newscaster voiceover that the prisoner is Majid Nassar, so the super-suspenseful music and dramatic buildup to reveal his face, like everything else on this show, makes zero sense. But, hey — at least it’s consistent!

Over in the White House, Tom and Aaron watch the news and wonder how long it’ll take to get useful intel from Nassar. (Don’t they realize everything moves in slow motion in that prison?) (M: Plus, people need to spend time on dramatic music playlists.) Emily enters in a fancy dress, and the three head out for a West Wing-style walk and talk, only on this show they say a bunch of things they already know so that the audience is up to speed. (M: It’s less pedeconference and more pedexposition.) Basically it’s this: governors from all 50 states have come to the White House to appoint senators and schedule special elections for the representatives. Without a Congress, the country doesn’t have a budget and everything goes to shit.

Samantha: Gee, they talk about it as though they haven’t heard us yelling at them for 5 episodes.

Dani: Tom stops to greet Mike the Secret Service guy who handles every conceivable thing at the White House. Mike’s on his way home, and his big plans include bowling with his brother, which is such a personal detail that I have to assume something terrible is going to happen to Mike. (S: Oh my god, right? Either he’s about to get hurt or he’s A.)

After Mike leaves, the First Lady joins the trio and Tom asks her if it’s too soon to be hosting a dinner at the White House. Alex tells him he can’t exactly invite 50 governors and then take them to Golden Corral, but Tom says he likes Golden Corral. Oh, Tom. How did this dude ever land a woman like Alex?

Seth is talking to the press pool at the fancy dinner, but he gets distracted by an attractive new White House correspondent. She’s pretty enough, I guess, but damn… Seth needs to learn how to just be cool.

A page announces the arrival of the president, sparing Seth from more awkward flirting. Emily and Aaron meet with MacLeish and his wife, and they ask him if he’d “hypothetically” be interested in the Vice President role. Naturally, the little weasel is all over it.

Tom is glad-handing when he’s stopped by the governor of Arizona (and since I can’t be arsed to look up her name, we’ll just call her Jan Brewer, who was the last governor of AZ). Jan tells Tom how disconcerting it was to see Governor Royce arrested, and she gets peeved when Tom tells her he didn’t have a choice.

Tom goes to the podium and gives a speech about unity and how if we work together we’ll be stronger, which sounds vaguely familiar.

Samantha: Pain, all the pain.

Marines: It’s too, too soon. It will always be too soon.

Dani: Tom’s speech is interrupted by the sound of gunshots because apparently no one on this show has learned how to security, even though the Capitol was just blown up like two minutes ago. Chaos ensues.

Samantha: Maybe the entire Secret Service is in on it!

Mari: IDK, but I’m 1000% done with bad things happening while Tom gives speeches. This might be the 2nd or 3rd time, but that’s 1 or 2 times too many. 

Dani: Jacket Flip! Stripes! Trench-coat with a popped collar that came straight out of a John le Carré spy novel!

Mike the Secret Service guy heard the shots and came back to work, because of course he did. Tons of cops are gathered at the park across from the White House, where the shooter (a lone gunman) was tracked to. The First Family is safe, as are the governors, and everyone is locked down for now. Mike heads into the park and somehow immediately spots the shooter. He shoots at the guy and ends up getting shot twice. Told ya. (M: So good at TV.)

Back in the White House, Tom is pacing and wants an update on Mike’s condition. Seth talks to the hospital and learns that Mike is being prepped for surgery. Alex is freaked out, and Tom reassures her by telling her he talked to Mike earlier, and that Mike was leaving to spend time with his family. Thanks, babe. There’s some awkward, stilted dialogue from Alex, who says Mike is in good hands and she has to check on the kids. I feel so bad for these actors, you guys. Maybe ABC could spend less on fancy set design and a little bit more on writers? The dialogue is sooooo bad. (S: Oh my god it was PLL bad. It makes me wonder if they’re trying to make me suspect her, too.)

Emily and Aaron give Tom an update on the shooter, who’s now dead. The guy was a Chechen national who took to social media before going on his rampage, swearing allegiance to Majid Nassar. Tom is visibly shaken and says now al-Sakar has proven they can attack the Capitol and the White House. He looks at Emily and Aaron and then asks, “What’s next?”

OH, HELL NO. I know I said the writing on this show sucks, but that does NOT mean you get to steal Aaron Sorkin’s lines!

White House Situation Room. (Ever notice how the big table they gather around is shaped like a coffin? Do they have a vampire in there, or something?) (S: Oh I love the Make This Show More Interesting Game!) (M: IT’S A HELLMOUTH.) Tom wants to know why Nassar isn’t talking yet and says the shooting proves we have homegrown pockets of terrorism that Nassar could reveal. One of the CIA guys at this massive sausage fest suggests moving Nassar to foreign soil, so they can use enhanced interrogation tactics. Atwood argues that such tactics aren’t any more effective than standard interrogation, and a little pissing match over how best to torture people breaks out. Tom eventually steps in and grants Atwood 24 hours to interrogate Nassar.

Atwood leaves, but he runs into Emily, who asks him to start vetting MacLeish for the Vice Presidency. Atwood tells her they’re hella-busy, but he’ll do what he can.

Samantha: Is it that crazy to run the idea of Peter being In On It past the President? It’s not like they don’t have anything.

Dani: Elsewhere, Tom and Alex learn that Mike is out of surgery and doing fine. Emily comes in because the governor of Florida is refusing to let a planeload of Syrian refugees disembark in Miami. Everything was set up long before the shooting, but apparently the governor has now changed his mind about allowing the refugees into his state. Tom asks Emily to get the governor over to the White House before all the other governors come back.

FBI Headquarters. Atwood tells Hannah about the vetting, and she’s naturally upset. They know Nassar didn’t really blow up the Capitol, and now they have 24 hours to make him admit that (and tell them who really did it).

Oval. The Florida governor (who looks nothing like Lord Voldemort, unlike the actual governor of Florida) (M: *cries for her state*) meets with Tom and also with Alex, since she’s a whiz with immigration law. Tom and Alex try to convince not-Voldemort that the 300 refugees on the plane aren’t terrorists. But not-Voldemort says the people of Florida are scared of the Muggle-born, and they only want purebloods in their state. (S: You’re the best.) He knows Tom and Alex can’t 100% guarantee him that none of the people on the plane might someday do something bad, even though they’ve all been thoroughly checked and rechecked by the Department of Homeland Security. I guess not-Voldemort hasn’t watched the very informative report that Full Frontal did on Syrian refugees.

Tom and Alex can’t convince not-Voldemort to change his mind, since everyone on this show hates the president for some reason. (They obviously have no idea how much worse it could be.) (M: *cries for her nation*) (S: *non-stop drinking*) Alex says she’ll try to find a different state that might take the refugees. If I were Alex, I’d lead with: “If you don’t help, these innocent people might have to live in Florida… and no one deserves that.” (M: *switches back to crying for her state*)

I know it sounds like I’m hating on Florida in particular right now, but I’m not. I also hate Ohio and Pennsylvania and Michigan and Wisconsin.

Basically:

Samantha:

Dani: Tom meets with all the governors in what looks like the White House classroom. He sits behind the teacher’s desk and resumes his unity speech that was so rudely interrupted by gunfire the night before. Then the Jan Brewer-ish Arizona governor cuts him off. Jan is pissed because it doesn’t feel like Tom is really their president, since they didn’t vote for him.

Yeah. Tell us about it. (S: Oh my god this show is going to slowly kill us with unintentional references to our pain.)

Rather than start a #NotMyPresident campaign on Twitter, Jan decides Tom should host an immediate #AMA.

Jan, the Privileged White Woman Who Definitely Voted for Trump: If we’re to recognize you as the legitimate leader of our nation, we need our minds put at ease. Answer our questions — all of them. And, if we’re satisfied with what you have to say, you’ll get your Senate appointees.

Do I need to rant about how stupid and unrealistic this is, or can we all agree that the governors would be chomping at the bit to have their picks for the Senate accepted? Are we seriously expected to believe that after having six weeks with zero representation (during which time federal funding would have ground to a halt), they’d rather play some dumb version of The Dating Game with the president? Eeesh.

Samantha: I’m so glad that you got this episode because you’re being much more eloquent than I would have been.

Mari: I honestly don’t get the HATE THE PRESIDENT! feels that are rampant right now. I think historically, we’ve seen that support for the Presidency surges during mass casualties. It even happened for Bush after 9/11 for crying out loud. (D: Excellent point! If America could get behind that buffoon, surely they can rally around Tom.) The idea that they would all rather see THE ENTIRE GOVERNMENT fail than appoint some damn Senators before Tom answers their questions is stupid.

Dani: Tom tells the group that he’s not on trial here, but Jan is all “you are now, chump!” and Tom looks panicky as we break for commercial. When we return, Tom, Aaron, and Emily are in the Oval arguing about the governor’s request. Aaron and Emily don’t like it, but Tom says there’s no other way. That’s fine — but then why didn’t he just stay in the classroom and answer their stupid questions?

Over in the press briefing room, Seth is answering questions when Lisa Jordan (the new reporter he awkward-flirted with the other night) asks about a rumor that Tom is losing the governors’ support. Seth doesn’t comment on rumors, so after the briefing Ms. Jordan slinks on over to Seth to discuss the “thing” that happened between them the previous night — the yearning glances they exchanged before someone started shooting at them all. Funny how that second bit didn’t traumatize anyone there.

I’m not enjoying the Seth/Lisa thing. Not sure if it’s the actress or what, but something just feels very false and I dunno … slimy? … about her. Is it just me?

Mari: Nope. At this point they are telegraphing that it’s not! a! good! idea! for Seth to be interested in a member of the press. And she looks/acts like a slimeball. Whether they are telegraphing to foreshadow her sudden but inevitable betrayal or to psyche us out when she doesn’t, I don’t care because I don’t like it.

Dani: Seth wisely mentions the obvious conflict of interest of a press secretary fraternizing with a member of the press, and Lisa’s response is to “make it easier” for him by asking him out for a drink. Um, how does that make it easier? Seth doesn’t answer, but he smiles at her and I groan loudly.

Samantha: Ahem. Excuse me, show, but #TheWestWingDidItBetter:

Dani: So. Much. Better.

Elsewhere, Alex is working to find another state for the refugees when Aaron stops her. He’s worried about potential fallout and how it will affect the president, who’s still trying to appease the governors. Alex is not about to sit down and shut up, though. She understands Aaron is doing his job, but her concern right now is the plane full of people being denied basic human rights in our country. She tells Aaron she’ll do her best to fix that, and she trusts him to do his job and clean up whatever mess results from it. Go, Alex!

Is it just me, or does there seem to be more chemistry between Alex and Aaron than anyone else on the show? Perhaps it’s just because Natascha McElhone is an amazing actor, but I say we get these two into bed and give Tom even more ways to feel inadequate. Who’s with me?

Samantha:

Dani: Tom makes his way back to the classroom full of governors, and at the same time Nassar is being walked into an interrogation room to meet Hannah and Atwood. Rather than keeping these as two separate scenes, however, the idiot director decides to make a bunch of jump cuts and splice together 178,000 micro-scenes of Tom and Nassar basically mirroring each other’s actions. We get it, show: they’re both about to be interrogated. You could have depicted that without giving us all whiplash. The name of the episode is “The Interrogation,” FFS. Enough already.

After all the jumping around, we end up in the interrogation room with Nassar. Hannah informs him of his rights, making sure he knows that all those rights go away if he leaves US soil (and they already have an extradition order for him from Pakistan, for a car bombing). Nassar tells them his wife and children were the collateral damage from an American bomb that hit an apartment building six years ago. He spent weeks searching for their remains, so he’s already experienced pain far worse than anything they could threaten him with.

Back in the White House, Tom is ready to take questions from the governors. Someone asks why he overhauled HUD when he was first appointed (the staff was complacent), and another asks why he fired General Cochran (insubordination). A buddy of Governor Royce’s asks Tom why he had him arrested, and when Tom explains that Royce’s actions were tantamount to sedition, Jan says maybe Tom just doesn’t like people who disagree with him. (S: Or maybe these are perfectly legit reasons and you should SHUT YOUR FACE.)

Back to the other interrogation. Hannah and Atwood recite Nassar’s bio to him, including the times al-Sakar took credit for attacks they didn’t commit. Hannah tells Nassar that al-Sakar is just a leech that attaches itself to bigger groups (go, Hannah!) and they aren’t sophisticated enough to have blown up the Capitol. Nassar lists the exact components of the bombs that were used, implying al-Sakar isn’t as small-time as she thinks.

Back to the White House (seriously, fuck this director right now). One of the governors is actually a friend of Tom’s, and the dude stands up to remind everyone that as president, Tom made sure they knew who had bombed the Capitol and then oversaw the capture of those responsible. Not-Voldemort dismisses those wins as nothing more than good intel, saying it would have gone down the same regardless of who was president. Jackass. Not-Voldemort also says that Tom has no credentials, no accomplishments, and no experience. Rather than defend himself (by pointing out what sort of war we’d be in right now if Cochrane had had his way), Tom just sits there looking like someone in dire need of a motivational poster.

Dani: Apparently, we’re bitches.

Jan doesn’t want to be left out of the Kick-a-Kirkman Fest, so she reminds Tom that being named Designated Survivor was a dubious honor, and the former president didn’t even want him in his administration. She asks him why the hell he thinks he’s fit to be their president, when he wasn’t even good enough to be HUD Secretary. Ouch.

I kinda get where Jan is coming from, but it’s hard to watch her label Tom as someone who’s unfit to be president when we know what that really looks like. (Hint: it’s orange-tinted and appears to live inside a Liberace fever-dream.)

I believe that particular decorating style is called “bigly tacky.”

Tom gets choked up and tells Jan she might be right about him being unfit for the role. He stands up and tells everyone maybe he shouldn’t be the president, and then he walks out.

Nice going, assholes. Now you have NO president, and until you dumb shits start appointing senators, there’s no line of succession. Welcome to anarchy, motherfuckers! Let’s go to commercial.

Mari: That paragraph is perfection.

Samantha: Okay, but exactly. I do understand everyone being concerned with a DS President but also, there aren’t a lot of options. And yeah, super hard to sympathize right now. 

Dani: When we return, Aaron and Seth run into Tom’s office to talk some sense into him. Aaron tells Tom to grow a fucking spine and go fight back (but diplomatically). He actually gives Tom a really nice speech about how he was one of the biggest Tom-doubters out there, but now that he’s seen Tom in action he’s all-in. Aaron truly believes that Tom is the country’s only chance to rebuild. After his inspiring speech, Seth just goes “what he said,” and I totally laughed out loud. (S: Same.) Then Alex comes in because one of the Syrian refugees on the plane is 30 weeks pregnant and just went into premature labor. Tom tells Alex he has zero leverage with not-Voldemort and he can’t help her.

Back in the prison, Hannah tells Nassar he did a sloppy job because one of the bombs didn’t detonate and a congressman survived. Hannah is surprised by how vehemently Nassar wants MacLeish (and everyone else, really) dead. She decides Nassar didn’t know MacLeish was supposed to live, which means he’s definitely taking credit for something he didn’t do.

Back in the White House (yes, really), Alex convinces Governor not-Voldemort to allow the pre-term labor lady (and her husband) to be taken to the hospital. Alex tries to push for the other passengers, but Voldy shuts her down fast.

Back in the prison (eehhhhh), Hannah and Atwood surmise that Nassar took credit for blowing up the Capitol because the real attackers wanted to be anonymous. They gave him the tech specs on the bombs, but otherwise he was just a pawn while someone else did the actual work. Nassar tells them to fuck off, and as they’re leaving Atwood asks Hannah who’s going to call GID, and when she asks if it’s about someone named Dena, Nassar freaks out. Turns out Nassar has a whole other family stashed in Dubai, including a diabetic mother and a young son. Hannah and Atwood tell Nassar his family will also be sent to Pakistan when they extradite him, and he finally gives them a name: Catalan. Hannah and Atwood leave, but not before Nassar warns them that if they tell anyone about Catalan, they’ll die. (S: Why didn’t they try to find out more about Catalan while he was talking?)

Back in the White House (please stop), Tom is speechifying for the governors again. It’s the same “aw, shucks, I’m just a humble nerd in a hoody” speech we’ve heard a dozen times, so I’ll spare you the recap. He ends by telling them either they decide to work together, or he’ll have to step down. It’s their choice. The governors talk amongst themselves, but Jan and not-Voldemort take the opportunity to corner Tom and tell him if he really wants their support he must fix “the threat of unchecked immigration.” They say the Syrian refugees are one piece of a larger problem, and they want ALL immigration halted until things “settle down.” Tom says that would also ban students, and doctors, and scientists and engineers from our closest allies, but Jan has zero fucks to give about immigrants because ‘MURICA! She tells Tom he can have a Congress, or he can have immigration, but he can’t have both. She and not-Voldemort supposedly have enough governors’ support to block the formation of a Congress if Tom doesn’t play ball.

UGH, THIS IS SO DUMB. Not forming a Congress would hurt the states far more than the federal government. Tom needs to shut this shit down right now.

Over at the FBI, Atwood searches all the terrorist databases for someone named Catalan, but he gets zero results. Hannah wonders if that means they need someone with higher clearance than Atwood to search, but considering Atwood has a seat at the Sit Room table with the president, how low could his clearance possibly be? They decide to go question Nassar some more, since they still have like 14 hours left. Um… maybe you shouldn’t have left, then? (S: Exactly! Why would you assume, in this unprecedented situation, that your terrorist database would solve everything?) (D: Or, here’s an idea: take your fucking laptop to the prison with you next time.)

Back at the White House, Aaron tells Emily that he’s had his investigator looking into MacLeish, who seems to be the perfect candidate for VP.

Elsewhere, Alex tells Tom she’s convinced the governor of Missouri to accept the plane of Syria-Floridian refugees. She’s totes excited until Tom tells her the plane is already on its way to Canada. He tells her about the deal he made with the governors, and Alex makes a very good point about standing up for American principles and how we’re nothing without our principles. Tom yells at her because this is the job, dammit, and Alex clarifies: she’s not mad at the president, she’s disappointed in her husband.

Somebody get the president an icepack — dude just got BURNED.

I’m totally siding with Alex on this one. (And thus begins the slow journey that will send her into the arms of her husband’s chief of staff …) (S: Lol.) (M: I love it but I’m also going to end up sorely disappointed when this doesn’t happen.)

Later that night, Aaron and Emily give Tom the file on MacLeish and suggest he proceed with the appointment. Tom decides he’d like to get to know MacLeish first and requests that MacLeish and his wife come to the Residence for dinner that night. Then he calls Mike and thanks him for taking out the guy who shot at the White House.

Meanwhile in the Press Briefing Room, Seth returns and apologizes to Lisa Jordan because his meeting ran over. Wait, has she been standing there the entire day, waiting for him to answer her about that drink? I mean, it’s dark outside now, and it was like morning when she asked him. Weird editing, show. Seth tells her she can come to his office for a soda (barf) but first she wants a quote from him because she has a source claiming that Tom isn’t Leo’s real father. Dunh-dunh-DUNH! Oh, crap… that means we’ll have more scenes with Leo now. Ugh.

Tom returns to the residence and sees Alex. He apologizes for their earlier fight, and Alex forgives him (dang it). He tells her the MacLeishes are coming for dinner and offers to make her excuses, but she says she’ll be there. He thanks her and doesn’t get the least bit distracted by her wiggly feet, unlike me.

Hannah and Atwood arrive back at the prison just as Atwood gets an emergency call from the guards. They rush inside and find Nassar dead, with suspicious white foam around his mouth… and the episode ends.

Samantha: Idiots.

 

Next time on Designated Survivor: Hostages, Russia, and probably a million more jump cuts on S01 E07: The Traitor