After Chapter 16 – Nature is the cruelest mistress.

Previously: This college party got crazy with Truth or Dare.
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Samantha: So we pick up with Hardin choosing Dare and then staring at Tessa in a way that makes her think she’s the one who has been dared to do something. Which is just untrue, so Hardin’s gaze must have some sort of drug that makes you confuse actual facts.

Marines: ROOFIE GAZE!

Samantha: She falters over what to dare him, only coming up with having him say something nice about everyone. I wish she had chosen this, just so that I could see what made up thing he chose for Tessa. (M: “Punctual.”) Molly saves her, probably because she’s as bored as we are, and yells that Hardin should leave his shirt off for the duration of the game. He does so and Tessa creep stares at his chest, which has a tattoo of a tree.

Okay, okay, let’s try and guess what the tree symbolizes to Hardin? His family were all enjoying a picnic under a tree when, in a freak accident (much like this book), branches suddenly snapped off and killed his family. He wears the tree as a reminder that nature is the cruelest mistress of all.

Mari: “My mother was killed by Mother Nature, Theresa. Now, go to sleep.” 

Samantha: There’s a lot of kissing and sex talk that causes our girl Tessa to wonder:

“How did I find myself in the middle of this group of hormonal college rock-and-roll misfits?”

I mean. It’s 2014 when this was written, not 1950, so the rock-n-roll insult feels… odd. But also, Rock-N-Roll Misfits is my ironic throwback band name now.

It’s Tessa’s turn and she chooses dare. Tristan, who I cannot remember if we’ve met before, dares her to do a shot of vodka. She’s clearly uncomfortable with it but gives in and does it because Hardin and Molly are laughing at her. Look, I’m not here to After School Special at you, but don’t do shit you’re uncomfortable with because of other people. Okay?

She takes the vodka bottle and sniffs it, always a bad idea. She swallows it and then wonders why Hardin looks mad and disappointed. I’m sure we’re going to find out, Tess.

Mari: This reaction from Hardin makes it seem like either a.) Hardin wasn’t laughing at her earlier for not wanting to drink. Tessa might be one of those people who always thinks people are talking about her after she walks into a room? or b.) Hardin WAS laughing her but also he’s mad that she drank the alcohol because Hardin is a psychopath and there is no pleasing him.

Samantha: Both. The answer is probably both.

She keeps getting dared to do shots and ends up feeling relaxed and good and stuff. She take her fifth and sixth shot and Hardin rips the bottle from her because she’s “had enough.” UGH. Look, I myself was uncomfortable with Tessa being pressured to drink but I am also unhappy with this douche weasel deciding when she should stop. It’s doesn’t really have a “friends looking out for friends” vibe to it, it has a “Imma tell you what to do because my last name is Grey” vibe to it.

Mari: Yes. It’s a crappy situation for Tessa, but one I’m sure a lot of us can relate to. We’ve made bad decisions because we’ve felt pressured or because we wanted to fit in. Hardin stepping in this way, though, is also yuck. Apparently, men saving women from their bad decisions with alcohol is becoming shorthand for ROMANCE. Come save us from our agency, men of the world. We don’t know any better.

Samantha: She defiantly takes the bottle back and drinks some more. What a bullshit situation this is. Everything is uncomfortable. Molly dares Hardin to kiss Tessa and his eyes go wide and Tessa wants “to run away from him.” Great. Tessa says no because she has a boyfriend and Molly, who has not gotten the No Means No Memo, keeps pressuring her. Tessa gets up and walks away, hoping that Hardin is offended.

She heads outside and sits on the Stone Wall of My Life Sucks. She calls Noah and only says, “Hey… babe” and he just knows that she is drunk. (M: Maybe because “babe” is affectionate and Noah is like WHAT? MUST BE DRUNK.) She claims that she isn’t and then panic hangs up the phone, my first legit lol moment. (M: Mine was STOP STARING AT ME.) She turns off the phone because Noah’s judgment is ruining her vodka vibes.

She heads back inside to the kitchen and grabs an unknown bottle of liquid and chugs some it, another Snark Lady Don’t. It tastes awful so she fumbles for a glass and gets some water from the Vomit Sink. She gazes over to the Truth or Dare group and wonders if they are her friends. I mean. You’ve only known them for like a week so.

Mari: Also, you hate most of them.

Samantha: She slut shames Molly some more in her mind and then fantasizes about Hardin kissing her before swearing off alcohol for life. She heads to the bathroom to throw up but can’t and wishes she hadn’t come.

She heads into Hardin’s room because the plot demands it. She finds Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice on his nightstand and thinks that it’s weird for a boy his age to have read and understood it. (M: “Understood.” We went on our Darcy rants last time…) Sure, special snowflake, sure. Of course Hardin comes in and yells at her for being in there. His angry expression scares her and humors her at the same time. That’s… I don’t think that’s a thing? Judges?

Mari: If you are both scared for your life and vaguely amused, you might be on an actual rollercoaster. You should not be having a conversation with a human being.

So say the judges.

Samantha: The judges have said.

She tells him not to be a jerk and he tells her that he told her not to come into his room. She asks him why he doesn’t like her and the chapter ends like that’s some big “OMG” cliffhanger. But… I think it’s pretty obvious why he doesn’t like you? IDK maybe I’m just remarkably perceptive for someone my age.

Mari: Well, at what age did you read and understand Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice? It’s the only true measure of a person.

 

Next time on After: Hardin and Tessa have it out!!!!!11 in Chapter 17.