Gilmore Girls S01 E14 – It’s a lifestyle.

Previously: Rory invited Paris to a Bangles concert.
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That Damn Donna Reed

Grace: So here’s why I had to do this episode: when my mom was married to my dad, her name was Donna Reed. She totally embraced it and collected really cool and classy Donna Reed memorabilia for my entire childhood, so when she and my sister and I first saw this episode title we died laughing and now it reminds me of my mom and her actually really impressive hosting skills. (S: Nice story is nice!) SO. Here we go.

Dean enters the Gilmore house bearing pizza, as all wise boyfriends should. He also brought a salad, which he’ll be eating alone. The girls are watching The Donna Reed Show, mocking it mercilessly, and are shocked when Dean doesn’t know what it is. (Here’s where we get the famous Tumblr gif of “It’s a lifestyle.”)

They think the pure 50s housewife persona is hilarious, and I’m already feeling the limitations of these recaps because I want to quote almost everything they’re saying. (S: YES. EXACTLY. PREACH.)

Lorelai and Rory make up their own dialogue to the show, including one of my favorites: “I just had an impure thought about your father, Alex. Funny. I don’t know why I had it; it isn’t the second Saturday of the month.” Dean protests, saying that he likes the idea of a family spending time together and a wife cooking dinner for everyone. The girls say Donna Reed is medicated, and acting from a script, written by a man. Dean still thinks it sounds nice, and what if Donna Reed likes doing all those things… and realizes he’s very unpopular at the moment. He’ll be eating his salad in silence from now on. (S: Groaning at Dean here. Sshhhh, Dean.)

Where you lead, I will follow! (We used to listen to the theme song at double speed. It’s much better that way.)

The girls enter Luke’s, Rory worrying aloud about her brain “pinging” while she was studying last night. Girl, I’ve been there. Luke comes over, and Lorelai starts asking him if he’d consider sprucing up the diner. He says he doesn’t spruce, which is Taylor’s (ugh) cue to turn around and start ranting about how Luke won’t consider painting or dusting or a peppy cardboard pig? Luke is unmoved. But Lorelai really wants to paint the diner, so she offers to help, even singing a ridiculous little song about it. Luke agrees to the project when she threatens to sing another verse of the song. Taylor leaves, delighted with this development.

Gilmore Mansion. Lorelai is praising the wine at Friday Night Dinner, but in her Lorelai way. Rory tries to change the subject by asking when her grandparents are leaving for Martha’s Vineyard, but apparently their usual rental wasn’t available. Rory suggests they just go somewhere else, but they always go to the Vineyard in the spring. Apparently their travel is seasonally restricted. They can’t go to Europe, like the girls suggest, see, because they only go to Europe in the fall, and those first-class tickets aren’t in the budget this year anyway. “You don’t have to fly first-class,” Lorelai says casually, and her parents both look genuinely horrified at the remark. (S: Ah, what cushy privilege.)

Lorelai’s house. Rory is studying for a test while Lorelai mends the sweater Rory is wearing. Rory leans over a lot for more notecards and Lorelai ends up stabbing herself and I dunno, this seems like it could have been avoided by taking off the sweater. Babette comes in to ask a favor. Lorelai asks if she wants coffee and Babette says no but then throughout the rest of the scene Lorelai just pours and hands her the coffee anyway and it made me chuckle. Babette and Maury just got a new kitten named Apricot, and they need Rory to kitten-sit because Maury has a gig. Rory agrees and Babette leaves, coffee mug in hand. Lorelai jokes about being offended that Rory wants to spend the night away from her, which is weird until she points out this will only be their second night apart, ever. Which I can definitely believe. Rory thinks it’ll be fine.

Samantha: I was going to be like, “she never went to a sleepover???” and then remembered her best friend is Lane and there probably weren’t many slumber parties at the Kim’s.

Grace: We pan past the town troubadour as the bus pulls up and Dean greets Rory with a “Carry your bird, miss?” because she’s carrying a chick in a cage. It’s a school project: she’s supposed to record its every move for the next month. They walk and talk as Rory tells Dean about house-sitting and how if the right offer came along, she might be up for some company. Dean offers, she accepts, and it’s cute for a second until he says he has to get to work because there will be “lots of oppressed housewives shopping for their husbands’ dinner.” Rory doesn’t think that’s very funny, and Dean calls her too sensitive about the Donna Reed thing. They argue and basically Dean thinks it’s nice for a wife to do things for her family, while Rory points out that a lot of women in Donna Reed’s day really didn’t have a choice. Look, I can see both sides, but then Dean says Rory is just agreeing with Lorelai like she always does and now I’m firmly on Team Rory.

Samantha: Two for #TeamRory, please. The problem isn’t that women can’t want to be housewives, obviously. It’s, to me, that Dean is saying it with this, like, expectant tone. That he thinks that should be the norm.

Grace: Exactly!

They part awkwardly after Rory gets her bird back.

Back at the Gilmore house, Lorelai is picking out paint swatches for Luke’s. Rory introduces the chick, who Lorelai names Stella.

She notices her daughter’s grumpiness, but Rory just says she had a bad day and will leave the chick here for the night while she’s housesitting. Isn’t she supposed to document its every move, including sleep habits?

Luke’s, where Lorelai has swatches pinned up everywhere. Luke is vetoing everything, including stenciling, when Taylor (ughhh) brings Kirk in. Apparently they have a bet on whether or not Luke will actually paint the place, and Kirk loses. Taylor gives one color scheme the thumbs up on his way out, and Lorelai takes it down after seeing Luke’s face.

In an extremely short scene at Babette’s, Rory feeds an adorable kitten, shuts her textbook in a way that would totally wrinkle her notes and which I therefore think is out of character, and calls Dean’s house.

Back at Luke’s, Lorelai and Luke drink beer while she finally talks him into some colors that are very similar to what he already has. Andrew (do we know his name yet?) literally just jumps in and starts taking pictures for the “before” shot for a town council poster about the sprucing up. Luke kicks him out. Fair.

Lorelai suggests sorting what Luke wants to keep and what to get rid of, but he says everything stays. Apparently the diner hasn’t been painted since his dad was alive, and his dad only painted it twice. He starts reminiscing about when his dad ran this place as a hardware store and how he always wanted to work where his dad did, even though he turned it into a diner because that sounded more fun. “That’s a hard word for you to say,” Lorelai teases, and God just kiss already. (S: Seriously.) Luke says there might possibly be a spot on the wall where his dad took an order once when he ran out of paper. He says he’s not sure where it is but then tells Lorelai exactly where it is. It’s cute. They settle down next to the writing, which is behind the counter, and Luke admits it might be time for a spruce. “Let’s not spruce this particular spot,” Lorelai responds.

They’re totally having a moment when a crowd led by Taylor tries to come in and look around. Rude. Luke starts to jump up but Lorelai tells him to hide and they’ll go away. Sure enough, they rattle the doorknob a few times and leave. Luke and Lorelai have another moment before she has to leave too.

Rory shows up at Kim’s Antiques, where Lane is doing homework in her room. Rory asks to borrow a CD, “the weird one,” so the girls bounce around the room looking under Lane’s various hidden floorboard compartments until they find it. Lane wants details about Rory’s still-undefined evening project involving said weird CD.

Samantha: I was always jealous of Lane and Claudia Kishi’s (of The Babysitter’s Club) cool hiding places. I never had anything contraband enough to hide. #GoodyTwoShoes.

Grace: Lorelai comes home to find Stella’s cage open and the chick gone. She panics and calls Luke to come help look, but to be fair, Luke has no idea what she’s talking about.

He shows up and Lorelai drags him inside, where he smirks while she tells him where she last saw the chick. It’s clear he doesn’t believe her until they hear Stella chirping. “You really do have a chick loose in here.” They give chase into the kitchen.

Samantha: It always feels like he thought she was maaaaaybe booty calling him.

Grace: Which I would have been fine with, honestly.

Dean calls Rory at Babette’s to ask if it’s still okay if he comes over. She says yes, which is good because he’s already outside. She steps out in full 50s housewife regalia, complete with pearls and apron, and says, “Honey, you’re home!” Dean is a little taken aback but follows Rory inside, where she’s got candles lit everywhere, appetizers on a tray, and Lane’s weird CD playing. And she even made him dinner. It’s Donna Reed night!

Back at the house, Lorelai is defeated, but Luke is still looking for Stella. While he searches, Lorelai asks what he meant earlier when he said she really did have a chick loose. Luke stumbles around an explanation and tries to say he did believe the chick story, but is saved by a Stella sighting. Then he knocks over a lamp.

Donna Reed Night. Dean is suitably impressed by Rory’s dinner. She shows off the Lime Fantasy Supreme (green Jell-O and Cool Whip) she made for dessert, then realizes she forgot to make the rolls. She’s so dejected and starts whacking them on the table to try to open the canister and make them now until Dean pulls her in and says it’s really fine. Rory thinks Donna Reed wouldn’t have forgotten the rolls. Dean reassures her and they kiss.

Dean wants to make sure Rory knows that as awesome as this whole spectacle was, she doesn’t have to be Donna Reed. It’s nice that he realizes that their argument could result in him pressuring her to take on gender roles she’s not okay with, so this is a good moment. Even better is when Rory shows him the stack of research she did on the real Donna Reed, who was one of the first woman television executives. Besides, Rory says she had fun. Dean offers to help, but “Sorry, you’re a man. You can’t help for another 15 years.” Instead he’ll take out the trash.

Back over at the Gilmores’, Lorelai puts Stella back in the cage while Luke gathers up the lamp pieces to take out to the trash.

The two guys come face to face as they take out their respective trash.

They’re both awkward and standoffish about what they’re doing there until Lorelai comes out and Dean gets nervous. Then Rory comes out and Lorelai wants to know what the hell they were doing and also why Rory is all dressed up. (S: Omg so uncomfortable.) The teenagers are awkward until Rory attempts to deflect by asking what Luke is doing there and Lorelai, not wanting Rory to know about Stella, babbles. The guys both leave. Lorelai mocks Rory’s outfit until she goes inside. Then Rory runs back out because she can’t find Apricot. Oh dear.

At the inn the next morning, Lorelai tells Sookie about her evening looking for the two baby animals, including how Luke knocked over her lemon lamp. Then she mentions the “you do have a chick” comment and Sookie is all, “Girl.” Apparently the first time she and Jackson slept together, she called him to come help her look for a bat in her attic (yes, really) as a pretense to get him to come over, and maybe Luke thought Lorelai was doing something similar. Lorelai says that’s crazy, but Sookie thinks it’s telling that Lorelai called Luke instead of half a dozen other townspeople or friends. This does not go over well with Lorelai.

Gilmore Mansion. The girls arrive to find the Gilmore grandparents on the phone with their realtor because they’re trying to get a new place on Martha’s Vineyard. Richard starts mansplaining business transactions, which I mention only because Emily snarks, “And he’s patronizing me, how lovely.” (S: A+, Emily.) The phone call ends well for them, and Richard looks smug because apparently this new place is much nicer.

Emily asks how Rory is doing, and Lorelai makes a remark about aprons, which she quickly regrets when Emily asks her to explain the joke. Not wanting to bring up unsupervised boyfriend time, Lorelai makes something up about Rory becoming a maid, but the grandparents just look horrified. Rory changes the subject to her chick and accidentally mentions that Luke found her when she got out. Emily is very interested to hear that Luke was at Lorelai’s house, following her daughter into the kitchen as she tries to escape.

Emily is tired of being lied to. It’s clear Luke is important to Lorelai, and she wants to know if Lorelai has feelings for him. Put on the spot, Lorelai mumbles that she doesn’t know, maybe, kinda sorta. Emily thanks her for being honest, because now they can discuss what a terrible idea it is to get involved with Luke. Hey! You be nice about Luke! (S: Slim chance.)

The town troubadour walks by while Luke and Lorelai unload the paint cans from the pickup truck. They plan the actual painting for Friday, with Lorelai promising to get out of Friday Night Dinner early for the “special occasion.” Luke looks so adorably happy here.

Rory catches up with her mom and they walk to Doose’s Market to get some groceries. A motorcycle rides by and I just remembered how this episode ends. (S: Uggghhhhhhh.) Taylor comes out to rant about those damn motorcycling hooligans and their noise. The girls teasingly play along until he goes back inside, when Lorelai immediately starts drooling over the bike. “That is a 2000 Indian 80 horsepower 5-speed close ratio Andrews transmission and I wanna get one!” “No.” “Why not?” “You’d die.” The motorcyclist pulls up to the curb as the girls start to head inside. He shouts at Lorelai to take off her shirt, which makes them go SKRRT what? Then he takes off his helmet. Lorelai just says, “Christopher,” Rory shouts, “Dad!” all excited, and I groan, “Noooooo.” I am not a Christopher fan.

Samantha: UGGHHHH. BOOOOO CHRISTOPHER BOOOOO FOREVER.

Grace: He’s in town to “surprise the Gilmore girls,” and Rory’s happy puppy face convinces Lorelai to let him stay with them for a few days. There’s a moment of Dr. Seuss nonsense with Christopher saying “Hop on” and Lorelai saying “Hop off” until she finally lets Rory get on the motorcycle and watches them ride away.

 

Next time on Gilmore Girls: Christopher is in town in S01 E5 – Christopher Returns.