Charmed (Reboot) S01 E09 –

Previously: Bug demons, you hate to see it.
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Jingle Hell

Rebecca: Mel awakens from her bash to the head in a tattoo parlor and asks what’s going on. Jada reminds her she’s the one who broke in but still apologizes, which is nice. (M: Is it?) Jada asks Mel if this means she wants to join the Sarcana and reminds Mel they’re not the Elders, who force people into their little group once they become a witch.

At the MMManor, Mel explains to Maggie and Harry that if she wants to join Sarcana, she’ll have to go through some kind of initiation. Harry stresses the important of caution saying the Sarcana are terrorists who might kill or “seduce” Mel. She tells him his anxiety is not helping, and she also not convinced the Sarcana is evil in the first place. Is it because she loves Jada? Probably not yet, but I’m still shipping it. Maggie agrees with Harry, that the mission is dangerous, but if the Sarcana are reposnsible for the death of their mother, this might be their only chance to find out. They also still need to find out who they released from the Tartarus.

Cut to: Bucharest, Romania. A stunning church. Inside, organ playing, a shadow demon emerges from the beautiful stained glass and glides down to the floor, near flawless wooden pews shining with a ray of sunlight. The black cloud gathers high and turns into…Parker. Ew. Way to ruin everything. He’s with his brother, Hunter, who says this place needs to up its security. They both smile in that way only white men seem to. (M: lol) They approach a glass coffin, which is home to a well dressed skeleton wearing a golden crown. Hunter calls him Saint Dragos and says they’re there to take his “bling.” Yes, he called it bling. Parker reaches in and takes a necklace, which Hunter tells us is the Amulet of Archangels.

Marines: I hate to agree with the worst characters on the show, but truly, some sort of alarm would’ve been helpful. 

Rebecca: A priest catches the brothers, calls them “inferi” and blasts them with magic. Coolest thing I’ve ever seen a priest do. The priest opens up a fire hole in the ground that pulls the brothers in, but Hunter manages to jump over the hell pit and grab the priest. Parker begs his brother to let the priest go, and he does, after calling Parker’s human side a “buzzkill” and saying he’s glad they’ll be getting rid of it. Parker smoke demons away, and once he’s gone, Hunter takes the priest’s staff and kills him. But at least it’s snowing!

Mari: Parker saying “don’t kill him!” and just leaving is the most Parker thing. Way to do nothing right, Parker.

Rebecca: I have a feeling that’s a theme that we’ll be following for a looonnng time.

Christmas time! Mel, Maggie, and Harry are decorating the tree and drinking coquito, and I’m very jealous. (M: I love coquito, is it Christmas yet?) Macy appears and says they found the driver that hit Galvin, who only had a broken leg after being hit by a car. Since the drive had a record of DUI’s, Mel speculates the accident might not be related to Galvin’s mark. Macy insists it might have been a warning for her to stay away, and since Galvin will be away visiting family for the holiday, she’ll be going to see Mama Roz to see if there’s a way around all this.

Maggie’s phone chimes and she informs them that Ray will be there by 4. Ray is their dad, and Macy says it’s strange they call their dad by their first name. Mel insults Ray, says it’s easy to not call him dad when he’s never been a dad. Maggie defends him, and Mel tells Maggie she has a big heart and doesn’t want her to get hurt. Maggie insists, “He’s coming”, which makes me think he’s probably not.

Mari: This is borrowed from Original Flavor Charmed. Phoebe was always the one defending their deadbeat dad. That also went on for annoyingly long.

Rebecca: The doorbell rings, but it’s not Ray, it’s Galvin. Galvin says he just wanted to say goodbye and he’s brought mistletoe, and this is the cutest shit. Unfortunately, he falls down before they get to kiss.

At the lab, we see Macy’s Boss Lady. Boss Lady is apparently Parker’s mom and has created his “cure.” It just needs the powers of the Charmed Ones. Parker confesses he doesn’t want to hurt Maggie or her sisters, but Boss Lady says Maggie, the empath, has to wear the Amulet of Archangels, which will drain the Charmed Ones of their powers and keep him alive. Boss Lady doesn’t seem to like demons much, but loves Parker and wants him to live, even if it’s as a demon. It’s actually kind of sad. Oh no. I have feelings.

Mari: Has anyone thought of killing his demon half or nah?

Rebecca: Oh wow that’s probably going to come up as a possibility later, isn’t it?

Alastair and Hunter are chilling and drinking eggnog. (M: I love that eggnog is for the evil and coquito is for the good. I feel that in my spirit.) Alastair speaks of a prophecy, which stated that the Source will possess a demon born of a human. Alastair tells Hunter not to be jealous and wishes him a Merry Christmas. The shot lingers on Hunter in a bad way as he drinks his eggnog.

After a break, we go to MMManor. Macy says they can’t kick Galvin out until his leg feels better, but she’s too afraid to go near him and pushes Harry to keep him company. Mel gets a text from Jada and says she’s going to go meet her. Harry brings Galvin some coquito and makes very embarrassing small talk. (M: He calls Macy “little lady.” Harry what is you doing?”) Parker shows up and gives Maggie a gift that she wants to put under the tree. Parker insists on opening it now. It’s the Amulet! He helps her put it on.

Tattoo shop. Mel opens up the secret door and heads to a black room. Jada and a bunch of other women wearing black greet her and begin to chant. “In blood and spirit, join with us.” Jada welcomes her to the Sisters of the Arcana, and their mark appears on her wrist. Crows swarm above them, and Mel remembers crows flying out of the house the day their mother died.

Mari: At this point, I’m sure the Sarcana are not all evil, but they should think about their aesthetics because this is reading preeeetty evil. 

Rebecca: At the MMManor, Mel tells Harry the crows are controlled by the Sarcana. She’s getting pretty certain Jada is responsible for her mother’s death. Macy interrupts to scold Harry for not keeping Galvin company like he promised, but Galvin is hanging with Maggie and Parker, so he’s not alone. Galvin shakes Parker’s hand, which causes his mark to glow and Parker to hunch over in pain. HOLD ON, GALVIN. DON’T LET GO. Parker plays it off like a cough, but Macy pulls Mel outside to say she saw him flinch at the glowing mark. Mel says they have to be sure before they tell Maggie that her boyfriend is maybe a demon. Mel agrees to keep an eye on him while Macy calls Mama Roz. Mama Roz explains this is very bad news. The more evil within someone, the more the mark will push them away. They come to the conclusion that Parker must have evil intentions. When Macy hangs up the phone, she’s smashed over the head by Hunter who smirks, and I hate him so much.

Mari: I GASPED. I can’t wait until my babies kill him.

Rebecca: In the shed, Hunter has tied up Macy. Parker enters and protests somewhat, I guess. Hunter says the amulet still needs charging, but he’ll take care of Galvin’s mark and get Mel off the trail. He then turns into Macy, and while I hate him, I am very excited to see Madeleine Mantock act like a conceited demon for a while.

Mari: The way HunterMacy looked at a passed out Macy gave me real big heebie jeebies. 

Rebecca: HunterMacy tries to enter the MMManor, but is thrown back by the shield. Mel goes to see if she’s okay and blames the incident on Galvin’s mark. Sure. HunterMacy says that Mama Roz said the mark is malfunctioning and gave her a way to remove it. Mel seems skeptical but kind of buys it. HunterMacy asks Mel to bring her a drink for Galvin so she can do the spell from outside since she can’t enter the house. HunterMacy is hilarious.

Galvin drinks the mark-removing potion, and HunterMacy is allowed to enter the house. She says some gross stuff about getting her stocking stuffed that still hasn’t clued in Mel that this is not Macy. Give it time. (M: Hunter’s method of pretending to be another person seems to be saying weird stuff and adding a jaykay! if people react.) Meanwhile, Maggie and Parker set the table, and Maggie hopes Ray arrives soon. As they’re talking, the amulet turns gray. Mel approaches and notices the change in the amulet right away. When they walk away from Parker, Mel points it out, but Maggie explains it’s probably a mood necklace. Did he get it at an arcade, Maggie? Come on. Mel tells Maggie about the Galvin mark, and Maggie gets defensive, and they argue. Cherry on top, Ray texts Maggie and says he can’t make it.

Macy wakes up in the shed. She tries to use her powers to untie herself, but they don’t seem to work. Meanwhile, Maggie has fled the room crying, and Parker followed her upstairs. Maggie asks about the necklace and if she can trust Parker. The necklace turns black. Parker hugs Maggie and promises he’ll never hurt her as he takes the necklace off. It turns white again as he slips it into his pocket. (M: Does Maggie.. not… feel this?) Mel, who was spying for a while, sees this. She tells HunterMacy, who seems concerned about Parker removing the necklace.

Back at the shed, Macy is able to remove the gag with her magic. And at the MMManor, Hunter slides under the bathroom door with his smoke magic to talk to Parker and confront him about the necklace.

Hunter tells Parker he’s throwing away the chance to become The Source, which we learn stands for The Source of All Evil. Sounds fun. Parker agrees to put the necklace back on Maggie.

Attic. Harry finds the amulet in Book of Shadows, but is also suffering a headache from too much coquito. They learn the amulet is from the fallen archangel Belial, who used it to steal powers from the other archangels. Mel and Harry realize Parker is trying to steal their magic. Back downstairs, Parker approaches Maggie but is interrupted by Galvin who needs help going to the bathroom. They must’ve gotten really close in their one scene together.

Maggie notices her necklace is missing right as HunterMacy joins Mel and Harry in the attic. In the shed, Macy is finally able to speak and calls for Harry, who is very confused because as far as he knows, Macy is in front of him. He voices these concerns and realizes HunterMacy isn’t Macy just in time to say “oh no” before Hunter pushes him out the beautiful round window. This poor window!!

Mari: Over on Original Flavor Charmed, we drink every time the Manor suffers damage. Bottoms up, dear friend.

Rebecca: After a break, Harry faceplants into the ground. HunterMacy has followed and is about to kill him when Real Macy calls for him again. Harry whitelighter’s out of there and into the shed, where he finds Macy. Back outside, Hunter has now turned into Harry and is extra British when Maggie runs out to see if he’s okay. Mel rushes out and tells Maggie that’s not Hunter but a shapeshifter. HunterHarry blasts poor Mel away with magic, and she ends up unconscious inside the house. Parker runs out and confronts Hunter but is quickly overcome with a coughing fit. Hunter turns into Maggie right as Macy and Harry run out of the shed. The two Maggie’s point and insist the other is a demon. Classic!

Macy lifts some broken glass but is knocked out by HunterMaggie before she can do anything. (M: Why are they extra useless right now?) HunterMaggie grabs some glass to use as a very bad knife and knocks Harry away when Harry rushes him too. These are not good fighting techniques, y’all. Parker shadows himself and fights HunterMaggie until he turns into Hunter again. Unfortunately, Parker is weak and is beaten down by Hunter quickly. Mel wakes up and uses her magic to hold back Hunter. She’s struggling when suddenly the mark on her wrist starts glowing and the crows appear. The crows attack Hunter until he blows away in a puff of black smoke. Everyone comes to, including Parker who begs Maggie to let him explain. He shadows her away to a very romantic gazebo.

Mari: Cool gazebo, still kidnapping.

Rebecca: MARI I JUST CHOKED!

Parker says he’s tried telling her he’s a demon and has “made a mistake.” Parker has a very high bar for what a mistake is. He destroys the Amulet and explains his half-demon problem. Maggie doesn’t care, doesn’t return his “I love you”, and says she doesn’t want to see him again. Hell yeah, girl. Now please hold to that. (M: lol.)

At the MMManor, the sisters and Harry comfort Maggie. Mel actually defends Parker and says his human side must really love her. Maggie doesn’t buy any of this and says she’ll never trust like that again. Macy points out that it’s midnight, and the family attempts to have a Christmas celebration. While in the kitchen getting more coquito, Jada visits Mel to see if she’s okay. Jada says the crows were also sent to try to help her mother. They were there the night she died but weren’t able to stop whoever killed her. Jada promises the Sarcana will help Mel find her mother’s killer.

Mari: She says this all vaguely threateningly, for the record. 

Rebecca: In the living room, the fire goes out and Hunter joins the party with a “ho, ho, ho.” As he advances, Parker shadows in with the priest’s staff and says some equally cheesy, threatening things. Parker uses the staff to open the portal to Tartarus, like the priest did at the beginning of the episode. He’s too weak on his own, so the sisters join in. Hunter is sucked into the Portal but drags Harry with him. MY HEART. The staff is also sucked in, but a small piece has broken off and lands on the floor. The episode ends with Galvin staring into the room and saying, “What the hell?”

Mari: Never mind you, Galvin. BRING BACK HARRY. 

 

Next time on Charmed: The 3M’s need help with Harry in S01 E10 – Keep Calm and Harry On.