We never recapped The Hardy Boys back during Childhood Trauma days, but they were always highly requested. Um, does this count?
Content warnings: Death of a parent.
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Welcome to Your Life
Marines: I know absolutely nothing about this show. Hulu just emailed me like “Hey, Marines, we think you and everyone else on our email list might like this show!” And I was like “yeah, okay.”
Catherine: If anything, that’s a sign that you watch some strange stuff.
Mari: A call out.
We open in a living room where an older and younger brother are playing video games. The game graphics and the living room decor feel very 80’s. The older broody brother, Frank Hardy, is very serious about his game play. The younger, playful brother, Joe Hardy, tells him to just go for it. They squabble a bit before their mom comes in and asks Frank to go move the car before their dad gets home. Frank threatens bodily harm if Joe touches his game. Frank leaves, and Mom Hardy tells Joe to go for it. Joe starts playing and Frank runs back, just in time to see Joe lose. Mom holds Frank back as they all laugh and joke and someone is probably going to die soon, huh?
The Sea. A boat. Zoomy cameraman makes sure that we see that this boat is called Astghik. We watch as a group of sailors bring in a catch and smile and celebrate. Someone is probably going to die soon, huh? We hear bad whirring noises and one of the sailors calls to cut the engines, because they are caught on something. The engines are cut and the something is reeled up. It looks like the burned wreckage of a plane.
The captain comes out and gets a good look at the wreckage. He tells a young sailor that he’s got to climb up on the mast (maybe???) and cut the wreckage loose. He’s the only one light enough to do it. It’s a few tense moments, as we watch him climb and lean out far enough to cut the line. Before he does, the young sailor says he sees a box in the wreckage. The captain tells him to grab it.
We cut to everyone looking at the box the young sailor managed to retrieve. Honestly, I did not expect him to survive. Another sailor asks what the box is. The captain says he doesn’t know and sends everyone back to work without even, like, opening it. Later that night, the Captain looks around shiftily before using the radio to call into a mysterious SOMEONE that he’s found it. The SOMEONE tells the Captain to make his way to the assigned coordinates. Young Sailor overhears.
Later, the Astghik comes up to another boat and drops anchor. We cut to a man inspecting the contents of the box, which include a bad news looking mask. Captain reminds this man that he promised to pay more money than everyone else. The man says he lied and shoots the captain dead. That’s the cue for his men to shoot all the crew of the Astghik. Young Sailor is too fast, though, and jumps into the ocean before they can kill him. We watch as the Astghik is set on fire, the bad men sail away, and Young Sailor is left in the ocean.
Title card, which feels like if a Stranger Things and Superman title card had a baby.
Catherine: This mom is so present and involved in her children’s lives. She is definitely going to die.
Mari: Joe is sleeping. Mom uses a paintbrush in his ear and nose to get him to wake up. Joe thinks it’s Frank, but Mom gets in his face and tells him to get dressed. Dad Hardy also gets ready as we spot an article about him, A Local Hero. In the kitchen, Mom Hardy is on a weird phone call. She tells whoever to stay right there, and she’ll come get them. Frank walks in, and Mom tries to cover it up by telling “Marnie” that she’s got to go and will see her later. Frank asks what the phone call was about, and Mom shiftily says that it was just Marnie. She has to meet her later, but will definitely be at Frank’s baseball game. Which reminds Mom! She draws a heart on a sheet of paper, folds it and hands it to Frank. It’s their lucky charm thing, so that he’ll win the game.
The Hardys all rush out of the house. Joe is upset about summer school and tuna for lunch, but the parents lovingly tell him to deal with it. Dad Hardy (“Fenton”) is dressed differently and so his family is suspicious. Mom is even more suspicious when he asks to switch cars with her. She tells him that whatever he’s up to, to be careful, because she couldn’t handle the boys without him. Mmmhmm, someone’s about to die.
A group of boys play basketball. Joe is skateboarding by when one of the boys calls him Farty, and tells him to throw back the ball that is rolling toward him. Joe kicks the ball further away, tells them not to call him Farty, and skateboards away as the bigger boys chase him.
Construction site. Dad Hardy is undercover, which we find out when we see that another cop is in a car nearby, communicating with him via radio. Partner Cop tells Fenton that they don’t have enough evidence, but Fenton knows that something shady is going down, considering the city inspector just bought a house with a pool in cash. We watch the City Inspector walk into a trailer. Fenton comes around the trailer, and he pulls out a bunch of wires from the side, as a cover story. Then, he peaks in through the window and takes a bunch of pictures of the inspector passing a thermos to the foreman. It’s all suspicious but not incriminating. Right before he’s caught, Fenton leaves and joins Partner Cop [PC] in the car. PC asks if Fenton saw anything, like say a handoff. And Fenton realizes that he did, maybe, see something. He gets back out of the car while PC tells him not to do it.
Fenton approaches the City Inspector and boldly announces that he’s the police and would like to arrest him for bribery. City Inspector tells him to go ahead and search him and his car. Fenton pushes him, and when City Inspector whirls around to punch him, Fenton punches him first. In the scuffle, City Inspector drops the thermos. Partner Cop shows up to put City Inspector in cuffs. Fenton grabs the thermos and a-ha. Money. Evidence. Case closed.
Mama Hardy is driving. Someone speeds up behind her, ominously.
Game. Frank spots his girlfriend, Emma, and runs up to greet her. They are cute together, but then Frank looks up in the stands and gets sad. He tells Emma he’ll see her after the game.
Mama Hardy is still driving. She notices the car on her tail and waves him on to pass her. When he doesn’t, Mama Hardy gets worried and speeds up.
Frank strikes someone out and looks up in the stands. Emma’s friend Sandra says that even though she isn’t into the whole romance thing, it is kind of cute that Frank keeps looking at her. Emma knows that he isn’t look at her. He’s looking for his mom.
Fenton leaves a message for Mama Hardy (Laura), telling her that things didn’t go down the way he planned and he won’t be able to make Frank’s game. When he hangs up, Partner Cop runs up to him, looking real worried. “It’s Laura.” he says.
Bottom of the ninth. Joe joins Emma and Sandra. They are winning with one out left. We watch strike one. A foul ball strike. Strike three and game. Joe runs out on the field, and Frank immediately asks if he’s seen mom or dad. They both look out and see their dad walking towards them, his police cruiser in the background with the lights flashing.
We cut to all three boys arriving at the accident site. Fenton tells the boys to stay back, but they can clearly see their mom’s car flipped on its head. Joe starts sobbing. (C: Called it! Also RIP.)
We cut to Frank and Joe getting ready for the funeral. Joe is struggling with his tie, so Frank helps. As we watch, a voice over tells us that the hardest thing a parent can do is bury their child. We cut to the actual funeral and see that it’s Laura’s mom speaking, saying that even though they had been distant, she knows there was a lot Laura still wanted to do. We get close ups of all the Hardy boys having emotions.
We fade to the end of the funeral as people are leaving. Laura’s Mom thanks Fenton for letting her speak, and tells him that she’s here for him. She’d be happy to take the boys any weekend. Fenton thanks her and she smiles and says she’ll see him back at the house. Meanwhile, Frank is the last at the grave. After a pause, he drops his baseball glove down with his mother.
Hardy House. Emma is sitting with Frank outside. She admits that she doesn’t know what to say, and offers to go get him some water. Frank looks up and sees his grandma approaching. He stands and they hug. Grandma tells him he’s grown up into such a handsome young man. She knows that no one else gets what it’s like to lose someone like this. Frank’s voice catches as he says that it doesn’t feel real. Grandma says this might be a weird time for gifts, but she has something of his mother’s: a music box. Frank opens it and notices a catch right away, revealing a little compartment inside. Grandma says he has excellent powers of observation, just like his mother. They hug again, and Grandma tells him he’ll be fine. Before Frank goes inside, though, she tells him that there is more than one secret inside that box. Frank smiles and heads inside. And then we watch Grandma give him A Mysterious Look.
Frank finds Joe sitting alone. He tells Joe that everyone is leaving, and Joe says good. People are here for the show. Frank says that isn’t fair. These people cared about their mom and they care about them. Joe explodes, saying that everyone cared about Frank and his good grades and his baseball. Even their mom only ever cared about his baseball, and if Frank hadn’t force her to come to all of his games. Frank yells “don’t!” It’s not particularly well-acted, but we get the emotion. Frank tries to put his hand on Joe’s shoulder, but Joe tells him hands off.
Catherine: One thing I liked about this scene (and the episode) was that these kids come off as actual kids and not the CW Riverdale adults thing that happens so often on teen shows. Although, saying that, I just looked it up and saw that the actor that plays Frank was born in ’97 which made me go “oh! He actually is a teenager,” ’till I remembered what year it is now.
Mari: I’m not even going to try to do the math. I want to feel young, not old.
Frank turns away and notices a box at the table. He looks inside and finds all the stuff he knows used to be on his dad’s desk. That, and pictures of their mom’s accident. The boys hear someone coming and Frank puts the box back and sits on the couch nonchalantly. It’s Fenton. He wants them to come say goodbye to people, but they give him sad looks and he gets that it’s a no from them, dawg.
Fenton takes a deep breath and drops this on them: they are leaving tomorrow morning and heading to Bridgeport for the summer. Frank is very upset because his friends are in this city. Emma is here. Fenton gets this, but he doesn’t know how to do this without Laura, and they are moving in with their aunt. Joe points out that he didn’t even talk to them about this. Fenton is like “yes huh, we are talking now.” Frank asks why he’s carrying around files about mom’s accident, and Fenton lies (badly) that it’s just for insurance. They yell a little at each other until Fenton says that’s enough. They are moving. Fenton leaves, and Joe asks what’s happening. Frank won’t tell him so now Joe is upset. Everyone is upset.
We cut to the Hardy Boys putting the last of their stuff into their car. Frank and Emma are saying an emotional goodbye and promise to call each other every day. Sandra is in the background like BOOOO, LOVE. I wonder if she has a role in this series beyond hating love in the pilot episode. Emma and Sandra watch as the Hardy Boys get into their car and drive away.
Sister Christian plays as we watch a driving montage. This has taken 26 minutes of episode. It took mom like 17 minutes to die. Wow, a little on the slow side, huh? (C: Not a lot happens in this ep, tbh.)
They arrive at Aunt Trudy’s house. Joe jumps out of the car and runs to give her a hug. I thought Aunt Trudy was Laura’s sister, but it’s Fenton’s sister, and this is his childhood home. I have no reason for my assumption, but here we are. Trudy tells the boys that there are two rooms upstairs up for grabs. Joe runs in, with Frank behind him.
Trudy asks Fenton how he’s doing, and he says the boys are mad at him. Trudy says that wasn’t her question.
Joe claims the first room and Frank sadly wanders into the second one. Joe comes back a minute later, because he wanted this room, their dad’s old room. Frank sadly gives the room up and heads into Trudy’s old room.
Trudy asks the boys to bike into town for some supplies and ice cream. We watch them bike into town.
Frank heads to the counter to order ice cream and Joe heads to the shelves for peaches. The girl follows him inside. She introduces herself as Biff and won’t go away until Joe asks her what she wants. “I don’t know,” she says. “A gum ball.” Joe offers to buy her one if she’ll go away.
Frank is still waiting for his ice cream when a pretty girl announces that the machine is fixed. She recognizes Frank because she knows his grandma. The store owner overhears and also knew Laura. He offers his condolences and says Laura was a good egg. Another young man, Chet, stands up and introduces himself. There is a kid name Phil who is playing arcade games, and I hope we don’t actually have to know who he is. He annoyed me quickly. Frank asks if everyone is always so friendly. See, he’s a city boy? The store owner gives him his items for free and tells him he’s got part time work open if he wants. Frank seems to consider it.
Fenton is in the attic having feelings. There are a heck ton of long lingering shots of people having feelings.
Dinner. Trudy and Fenton are good naturally arguing about a story. They are interrupted by a knock at the door and Grandma, Gloria, lets herself in. She grandly announces that she’s brought dessert. Trudy says they have ice cream, but Gloria has pie. Everyone is smiling stiffly as Gloria takes over, announcing that she’s throwing them a welcome home party the next day, that she’s got plans for Frank’s college options, and that she wants Joe to learn to ride horses.
The next day, the Hardys arrive at Gloria’s place, and it’s real fancy. Joe asks if Gloria is the queen of Bridgeport. Trudy says no. After a beat, Fenton says yes and they all laugh. Outside, at the fancy party, Gloria gets everyone’s attention and introduces them to her grandsons, saying she hopes they can all greet them throughout the night.
A deputy and an older man say hi to Fenton. Fenton recognizes the woman as Jesse Hooper and the man as Ezra, the Sheriff in town.
Chet is telling the other Teens something about a naval mine in town. Frank and Joe join in on the conversation with Joe asking what they are talking about. The Pretty Girl (who was fixing the arcade machines) says that a fishing boat went down in a fire. God, remember the cold open? It seems like 17 years ago. Joe says maybe someone did it on purpose, and Pretty Girl says that Dad Hardy is a detective, so maybe Joe could find out… but maybe he only investigates big city crimes. This girl really hates the city. Frank reminds them that his dad is from Bridgeport. Chet asks if his father showed him any detective tricks. Frank says he knows how to dust for prints and everyone is unimpressed. Joe says he can pick locks. That’s better.
Gloria interrupts and warmly greets Pretty Girl, Callie. But then she takes Frank and brings him inside to show him a portrait of her father, saying that his discovery made “all of this” possible. Frank picks up a framed photo and it’s one of Great Grandpa Eastabrook in front of a PLANE. Spooky music is playing so we know this is a clue. Joe, meanwhile, is looking at a mounted head. Joe doesn’t like it and rushes outside, leaving the door open long enough for Gloria’s dog Peppermint to escape.
We cut to Joe, Frank and The Teens searching for Peppermint in the woods. Joe hears something and runs to grab the dog, but instead, a man jumps out from behind a tree and grabs Joe. Chet recognizes the man as Ern. Frank asks what Ern wants. Ern tells them to bring Gloria to the stables and pulls out a knife to make sure they meet his requests.
Frank goes into the house and grabs Gloria, telling her something is up with Joe. In the stable, I can see now that Ern is Young Sailor. Wow. Truly, I had forgotten him completely. Ern tells Gloria that she owned the boat he was on, but it wasn’t an accident that it caught on fire. Men shot the whole crew and set it on fire, and he managed to escape. Gloria is like “hmm, wow, sounds bad.” Meanwhile, someone who works for Gloria is sneaking up on Ern. Joe notices and stomps on Ern’s foot. Joe gets free, but Ern also manages to get loose. Frank and Joe want to know if it’s true that Gloria owns the boat that went up in flames. She’s like “maybe.” She promises to look into it, but the important thing is that Joe is safe. The boys look Unconvinced.
Back at the Hardy Home, Fenton is saying he wishes that Frank would’ve found him first. Frank says it happened so quickly. Fenton offers to have Ezra and Jesse look into it. Joe says that Bridgeport has a weird way of welcoming people. Fenton agrees. But! They do have good ice cream. The Hardy Boys eat their ice cream right out of the tub as the Tinkly Music tells us at least they have each other and milk products.
Catherine: This was such a weird sequence of events to me. This boy gets lowkey kidnapped and then his grandmother shows up and the criminal gets??? arrested, I guess?? And then they have ice cream. No one seems panicked at all while this is happening. And afterward it’s treated like such a minor thing. I would think they’d be more freaked out. Am I crazy?
Mari: My mans wasn’t even arrested? I think Ern got away. But yes this whole like “wow, what a night! Ice cream anyone?” feels off.
Frank is in the attic going through boxes of their mom’s old stuff when Joe joins him. Joe sits and asks what he thinks Laura was thinking in the car. Frank doesn’t know. Joe can’t believe they’ll never see her again. But at that Frank pops in a home tape and the boys watch a video of their mom, from when Joe was just a baby. Happy sad mom times are interrupted when Frank hears something. It turns out, they can overhear conversations from downstairs perfectly from a little hole in the floor in the attic.
Fenton is talking to a woman with a posh outfit and hair. Fenton tells Posh that she’s probably heard about what he’s going through. Posh says she has indeed and that’s why she’s here, for Laura. She explains that her nephew Rupert was in charge of much of the company’s interests, but he started acting strange and paranoid and disappeared. Posh managed to track him to Bridgeport and it shows that the day of Laura’s death, Rupert made three calls to her. Even though Laura hadn’t been a journalist for the last few years, Posh thinks that she was investigating something, and Rupert was her source. And whatever Rupert told her, got Laura killed. Posh wants Fenton to find Rupert now, as he’s left Bridgeport and disappeared again. Fenton says that he can’t just go overseas to find him. Posh thinks that he wants to find Laura’s killer, he’s going to have to. She leaves him with an envelope full of cash. She’ll be in Bridgeport for the next few weeks, but he’ll have to make his decision fast.
In the attic, Joe asks Frank what’s going on. Frank says that it wasn’t an accident. Someone killed their mom. Joe asks what they are going to do. Frank replies that they are going to help their dad. They are going to figure out who killed their mom. With their epic skills of dusting for finger prints and lock picking, I’m sure.
Catherine: Definitely a lot of stuff set up in this episode. In a kind of boring, slow way.
Mari: I agree. I’m not entirely mad at it especially because there was something sad and atmospheric about it. The bad part is that it just kind of seemed to go on forever and then the end part with the kidnapping happened too fast. We’ll see, though, if things pick up a bit more next time.
Next time on The Hardy Boys: Fenton leaves town and the boys find out more about their mom in S01 E02 – Where the Light Can’t Find You.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
I am a 30-something year-old human woman who lives in Maine. I'm a freelance writer who mostly spends time that I should be doing that, watching T.V. I also love reading and comic books way too much.
