Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 E20 – Boring vs. Broody

Previously: Oz strolls back into town long enough to make everyone cry. Thanks, Oz.
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The Yoko Factor

Lorraine: We’ve complained plenty about season four. I mean, nitpicking is what we’re all about, because it’s funny, but season 4 has been tough to get through so I know the straight complaining may have increased lately. That all said, I can’t believe that we’re in fact almost done with the season. Someone mentioned in the comments a bit ago that we’ve passed the half way point for the entire series. CRAZY, YOU GUYS.

Sweeney: Halfway. As in, like, we’ll finish it one day? Does not compute. O_o

Lor: I KNOW.

And on that note, let’s get to it: Colonel Whateverthefuck is giving an update to some official looking dude via video conference: the soldiers are keeping it together, but morale is down since the death of the Evil Bitch Monster [Professor Walsh]. Plus, the demons are practically handing themselves over in a not at all fishy or suspicious manner. I can’t see the future, but since they keep mentioning all! the! demons! I’m gonna go ahead and guess that it’s significant.

K: Also, The Initiative clearly have a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock for not joining the dots on how suspicious that is. 

Lor: And we mostly knew that already. Thanks for the confirmation, guys.

Official Dude says that it sounds like they’ve got a pretty hefty mess on their hands, but Colonel Whateverthefuck basically says that it isn’t really his problem.  He’s just temporarily holding down the fort.

K: Literally the only thing I could think of when this happened:

Lor: Official Dude brings up Riley, saying that the government wants him brought in. Colonel Whateverthefuck is pretty blasé about that too. He thinks Riley won’t stray too far from Buffy, whom he calls just a girl.

SEGUE MAGIC to Spike telling Adam that she’s not just a girl. Not yet a woman. All she neeeds it tiiiiiiime. Sorry. I got carried away by an Spontaneous Britney Sing-a-long.

Sweeney: Spontaneous Britney sing-a-longs and Destiny’s Child dance parties are just a few of the many reasons that Snark HQ would be the greatest office ever if it actually existed.

Lor: Our Future Intern would have to be pretty good at finding the appropriate track and pressing play on the double.

Adam’s basically all, “yeah. Buffy’s fun.” but Spike tells him he isn’t getting it. Buffy is known to fuck shit up for baddies. Adam is counting on that. Sorry I wasn’t really paying much attention during this scene, so I’m not clear what he’s counting on. I’m still singing Britney in my head. Roll credits.

After the credits, Spike is gloating about those two Slayers he once killed while smoking an EVIL cigarette. Adam is all, “and you scurred of this one?” Spike says, “I AIN’T SCURRED.” He just hasn’t been able to kill Buffy because she’s the titular character. Oh, wait, I mean “bad luck.” Plus, now he’s got the Contrivance Chip in his head. Adam says he knows how Spike feels, and then bores us with the specifics. Spike’s super impressed with his rah-rah-the-plight-of-demons! speech, though.

Somewhere in here Spike hatches a plan to separate B from her friends, to both make her weaker and to have fun. He thinks the Scoobies will do all the work for him, and my Scooby Gang feels flare up because I hate when they aren’t BFFs.

Sweeney: It is the actual worst. While it was probably the least contrived element of the S4 arc, I think it also made it harder to handle all the rest of it. We can look the other way for a lot of things, if you just let the Scoobies go be awesome together. HOWEVER, my notes got a little flaily because he says something about the wild rumpus beginning, which is a much better Where The Wild Things Are reference than the disaster that was 4×18. 

Lor: Great point about it being harder to handle in this season. And also, I legit mentioned the wild rumpus but when it led to mentioning episode 18, I shuddered and deleted it. Thanks for being less ruined.

Buffy comes into her dorm room, wearing the same outfit she had on at the end of Sanctuary. Willow isn’t there, which Buffy notes with sadness as the Flute of Feels follows her to bed, where she lies down and pouts.

At Toasted Sunnydale High, Xander is telling Riley that he doesn’t know if Buffy is back from LA yet. He’s also brought him some clothes to wear. Riley wants to know if they also come with a bright red nose and floppy feet. Xander makes a hilarious, fish-like, awkward face and Riley apologies and says it’s cabin fever talking. Riley: it isn’t the cabin fever talking.

Riley says he’ll feel better once B is back, and Xander agrees. Oh, you see, it’s not that Xander hates Angel, “just the guts part of him.” Riley tells Xander that to be fair, it’s not Angel he hates, but the curse. Xander’s one second of silence is a big fat, “…no. No. I hate him.” Xander wants to know what Buffy told Riley, and he gives us the abridged version of their relationship, saying it’s an interesting curse Angel has. “One moment’s happiness,” Xander says and Riley wants to know what that means. So clearly, B didn’t tell him everything everything. Xander fills him in: Angel’s okay when he’s brooding but if he gets one moment of pure pleasure or happiness? Evil.

K: Way to make things awkward for everyone, Xander…

Lor: Instead of leaving the Angel’s Interesting Little Curse Cliffnotes there, Xander asks Riley what he thinks makes Angel the happiest. “Buffy,” Riley answers. “Sex with Buffy.” Xander figures out that he’s said more than Buffy did and tries to call it all ancient history. Riley’s less than convinced considering Buffy just ran to LA to “bone up on her history.” 

Sweeney: This bit was obnoxious. There’s no level on which that wasn’t a dick move on Xander’s part. Even if he assumed Riley knew that detail why would he bring that up? After he brought it up, why would he keep going through Riley’s silence? There were so many pauses and Xander just. kept. going. Setting aside the fact that he unwittingly threw Buffy under the bus, it was also generally not cool to Riley, whom he supposedly likes.

Lor: Agreed. This is a good example of why it’s always been difficult for me to accept Xander’s Angel hate at face value, because it always comes with a side of doing something shitty toward Buffy.

At Giles’s New Wiggins Apartment, he’s sitting around being a sexy, acoustic rock God. I wonder if at this point they were all, “man. We really messed up on this season. Quick. Hand ASH a guitar!”

K: Giles singing Free Bird? Pretty much makes up for at least three of the epic suckitude episodes from this season.

Sweeney: I don’t know if I’d go quite that far, but I absolutely accept this effort to build good will on the part of the writers. Well played.

Lor: Our private performance is interrupted as Giles leaps up in surprise, because HE STILL REFUSES TO LOCK HIS FREAKIN’ DOOR and Spike has let himself in. (S: I’m also wondering why they haven’t done that uninviting spell yet.)

Spike is there under the pretense of collecting a blood bag he left in Giles’s fridge which Giles kept ’cause of reasons, and also because he’s got information for Buffy. Giles wants to know what it is. Spike says there are files in The Initiative and he’s pretty sure he knows where they are. He’s offering to go in and retrieve them for a year’s supply of blood, protection, cash and a guarantee that he won’t be slain.

Giles immediately agrees to these absolutely ridiculous terms that he should NOT take him up on, but Spike says that the deal is with the Slayer. Giles says he’ll tell her. Spike starts planting the seeds of division when he says that Buffy won’t listen. He’s no longer her watcher, and even when he was, she barely listened to him. Spike throws in once last jab as Giles looks away and “casually” pours himself a drink.

Spike: I’ve seen the way she treats you?
Giles: Oh yes, how is that?
Spike: Very much like a retired librarian.

Ouch. And with that, Spike leaves.

Over at Tara’s seriously, how huge is this thing? dorm room, Willow is playing with a little, tiny kitty that is pretty stinkin’ adorable. And that’s saying a lot because I think cats are evil.

Sweeney: I had a cat with that exact same coloring. His name was Mr. Kitty. While it is this blog’s position that cats are evil, and will murder your face off in your sleep, Miss Kitty Fantastico is obviously the exception. The cat with a soul, if you will. (Or cats, plural, as Mr. Kitty is the original exception.)

Lor: No one make Miss Kitty Fantastico super happy and it should be all good.

Tara’s helping Willow pick out her classes, much like Willow helped Buffy at the beginning of this season. UGH.

And to confirm that this is the vibe we’re supposed to be getting from this scene and that I’m not being a giant sap, Willow asks Tara about what her housing situation will be like next year. Tara assumed Willow would be rooming with Buffy again. Willow thought they would be roomies through grad school and beyond, but now she just doesn’t know. They are barely roomies now.

Riley visits Buffy at said dorm room, wearing the clown pants Xander lent him. Buffy asks if it’s okay for him to be there and he’s all, “you tell me.” Buffy actually meant what with the whole government branch after him, not because of the her going to see her sometimes-evil ex. It’s okay because Riley has been listening to the Initiative’s walkie-talkie-talk, super sneaky-like.

He asks if she’s okay, and she admits that Angel got to her a bit, but doesn’t want to get into specifics. Riley takes that as his cue to leave, even though she insists he doesn’t have to. He puts on a brave smile, but this is clearly very awkward for the both of them, much like it is on any day that ends in day.

K: A+.

Lor: Over at Spike’s TARDIS Crypt, Xander and Anya are on hand to deliver an Initiative uniform to him, and also a gun, which Spike likes a lot. He tries to point it at Xander and/or Anya, but the chip gives him an insta-headache. Anya falls on the side of awesome as she flatly comments on how humiliating it is that he can’t even point a gun. Xander says it’s a fake gun anyways. Anya: “Can’t even point a decorative gun?” Xander: Give it up for American chipmanship.

Spike says that that attitude won’t get Xander very far in bootcamp and Anya freaks out. Xander assures her that he has no joining-the-Army plans and wants to know where Spike heard such a thing. “Your girlie mates,” Spike answers. He says they were having a laugh at his expense and so Spike figured he was enlisting. One more division seed. Xander flips out, as we’ve also consistently seen that his everyman-ness is his greatest source of insecurity. Anya agrees that his friends look down on him. Xander says they hate her. Anya: But they don’t look down on me.

One out of two for Anya in a scene ain’t bad. That’s usually how I feel about her anyways.

K: I hate that she was one of the few awesome things in this season and yet from the dreaded episode 18 onwards, they’ve made her a total pain in the arse.

Sweeney: Aw, not entirely! I mean yes, you are right, these moments will become a lot more grating, but she will have a few more redeeming moments too! It’s getting rough, though, because when she first appeared this time around, I really only remembered those flashes of excellence. Each one of these moments makes me cringe a little.

Lor: Out in some woods, Buffy is patrolling when she comes across Forrest. They agree to go their separate ways, but it turns out they are both going to check out the same cave, because apparently there is some contrivance inside. First, though, Forrest is going to tell Buffy that no matter what her big head thinks, she isn’t Riley’s first girlfriend. She is the first girl who got him to commit treason though. Congrats. They butt heads some more and it ends with Buffy threatening to show Forrest what slayer strength feels like. Adam appears to say he thinks that’s a great idea. No one asked you, Adam.

After a Not Commercial Break, Adam is easily throwing Buffy about. She tries to get Forrest to leave, but he won’t. He shoots Adam with one of the electric-Initiative-gun-thingies, but that only appears to give him some sort of boost. Forrest charges at Adam, and he gets killed for his trouble. RIP, Orange Wiggle. Wearing an orange turtle neck was the best thing you ever did.

Adam blasts Buffy with the electro-gun and she runs out of the cave and through the woods. She ends up sliding down a small hill and she is knocked unconscious.

Over at the New Wiggins, Spike takes a few deep breaths before entering the still unlocked apartment and pretending to have just outrun the Initiative. He hands over a disc he supposedly stole from the compound. Willow gets to work searching it for information on Adam. Giles wants to know if he had any trouble getting in or out. Spike says he took care of the guys who spotted him as he was leaving. Giles has clearly been drinking more since we last saw him, and offers, “gave them a good running-away-from, did you?”

Spike wants to know when he’ll get paid, but Giles says not until they know they have something useful. Tara is absently playing with Willow’s hair, which Spike notes before going over to Giles and poking at him more, saying that he now has to wait for Willow’s permission to finish the deal. Giles walks away all, “fuck this. Needs more alcohol.”

K: The Snark Squad’s motto for season 4, ladies and gentlemen.

Sweeney: Oh, we had this motto long before BtVS Season 4. That one has been around since the beginning, really.

Lor: Too true.

The information on the disc is encrypted, which means Willow will need time to hack into it. Spike gets-a-plantin’ and says that her friends mentioned she wasn’t doing the whole computer thing anymore since she started that new thing with Tara. You know. Wicca. Spike says Buffy was defending Willow and Xander was the one saying she was being trendy. Tara wins another little piece of my heart when she tries to insist that Willow, you know, talk to Buffy and probably not listen to a thing the evil vampire guy they all know to be evil says. (S: <3 TARA.)

We cut to the Abysmal Plot Arc Research Facility [APARF] where we are shown and told once again about all these demons they keep catching! Just all of the demons. Being caught. And now in APARF. A whole lot of demons. In APARF. I hope my handy TV watching skillz pay off, man. I’m doing overtime over here noticing all the demons they’ve caught that are now overcrowding APARF.

Colonel Whateverthefuck listens to a mayday walkie-talkie-talk, and we then see that Riley hears it too. He grabs his gear and runs over to investigate. We see an Initiative Bro go down, and when Riley shines a light to see who could be lurking in those shadows, it’s ANGEL. I love crossover magic.

K: I dunno. I kind of feel like we’ve gone overboard on crossover magic recently. It could have been spread out a little more to make the season of suckitude less painful. But no. SIGH.

Sweeney: I’m definitely on Team YAY CROSSOVER MAGIC. It helps that I’m actually just referring to notes to comment because I’m already done with the season, so I’m in rather non-stop dance party mode.

Lor: That makes me jelly.

After a cut to black, Broody and Boring face off. I’m rooting for Broody, just so we’re clear. Angel recognizes Riley (K: HOW?!) (S: Did you just miss a prime opportunity to make an “Angel is a stalker” joke? Did I just do it for you? Madness all around.) so he pretty quickly deduces who Angel is. Angel wants to know if the Initiative welcoming committee was Riley’s idea. From where Riley stands, with Angel talking all low and growly, and with Initiative Bros all knocked unconscious around him, Angel is kind of looking a little evil and soulless. Riley asks what could’ve happened with Buffy to make his soul go MIA. Angel plays along all and says he’s on his way to see an old girlfriend. Riley tries to stop him and they fight. Clearly, Angel is stronger, faster and has springier legs. Riley gets the upper hand a few times thanks to a glass bottle and a taser gun. The taser makes Angel put on his vamp grill and he hilariously throws Riley like a javelin. It’s fantastic. I just hit rewind and watched it again.

Sweeney: My handwritten notes just say “LOLOLOL BEST.” Because it was that. The best.

Lor: Angel hears a vehicle approach and takes off. Riley soon does the same.

Buffy gets back to her dorm, looking pretty worse for the wear.

There’s a knock on the door, and Buffy opens it to find Angel. He wants to know if he can come in and she says, “I guess.” Angel: “I need a little more than that.”

UUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH.

I HATE INVITATIONS AS MUCH AS SUNLIGHT NOW.

K: 1430 for your gif selection, and a big fat YES SO MUCH to the sentiment that goes along with it.

Sweeney: One of these days I’d like to go about listing all the reference points where words get added to The Ever Growing List of Words We Never Want to Discuss Again. But that involves way too much thinking about and reflecting on these words, so never mind that. Or, you know, “Fuck this, needs more alcohol.”

Lor: We chug as she invites him in. She wants to know if he’s back in town to say another hurtful thing to her and he interrupts her boo-hoo-ing to say he doesn’t have a lot of time.

Sweeney: Sorry, I have to interrupt, because this scene is one of those moments that is definitely different now that we’re also watching Angel, because WHAT THE FUCK. Sorry, Buffy, but you absolutely won the evening in the Saying Hurtful Shit Just To Say Hurtful Shit game.

Lor: Cue Riley busting down the door with a gun and the still mistaken notion that he can take Angel on. Buffy wants to know if Angel came into town to beat up her boyfriend. Angel wants to know if Buffy actually sleeps with this guy (IKNOWRIGHT) and Riley punches him. Angel punches back. In a BAMF BUFFY! moment (you ‘member those! ‘Member?) she pushes them apart and sends them flying in opposite directions. She threatens to hospitalize them both if the continue with their penis measuring contest and I love this moment because Buffy has the biggest penis in the room, okay?

Sweeney: 1430 because it’s true.

Lor: Buffy asks for a moment alone with Angel and Riley says he isn’t leaving the room. Buffy looks back at Angel and she leaves the room. Angel follows with a funny little smirk.

Out in the hall, Buffy wants to know what the hell he’s doing in her town, considering what went down in LA. Angel says he came by to make things better. They get a little chuckle out of that. He admits he just came to apologize for kicking her out of out of a whole city, and that the Initiative soldiers jumped him when he arrived. That’s what Riley wandered in to.

The Feels Music starts tinkling as Buffy says he wasn’t wrong when he said they don’t live in each other’s worlds anymore. He’s still sorry, though. And next time he’ll apologize by phone, which doesn’t seem like an effective thing for ratings, but whatever. (S: A+) Angel wants to know if he can help in any way, but Buffy says he can help by leaving. But it means a lot that he came. Angel starts to leave, but turns back to say that he doesn’t like Riley. None of us do, Angel. Buffy smiles, though, and thanks him. He smiles back in a way I’m choosing to interpret as, “but no. Seriously. That guy kind of sucks.” Buffy heads back into her room.

Over in his cave, Adam has his head plugged in, or whatever robotic nonsense he’s capable of.

K: LOL ETHERNET CABLES. How I don’t miss you.

Lor: Spike staggers in saying messing with the Scoobies was fun! Adam wants to know if he was successful. “It’s, uh… called the Yoko Factor,” he says. I feel like we don’t give a ton of gold stars away on Buffy. Here ya go Spike!

 

K: My notes at this point say “SPIKE SAID THE THING!!” 

Lor: He did indeed.

Spike explains that when the Beatles split up, everyone blamed Yoko, but the truth is that they split themselves up and she just happened to be there. He says that kids go off to college and grow apart. It’s just the way it happens, and I KNOW, SPIKE. I KNOW THAT’S TRUE BUT I DON’T LIKE IT, OKAY? Adam says they need one more thing for their plan.

Back at the Bigger on the Inside Dorm Room, Buffy says she needs to talk to Riley and he jumps to a “you’re breaking up with me,” conclusion. He also makes it clear that he thinks Buffy slept with Angel. She’s insulted that he would assume that, though he explains that Xander told him about the moment-of-happiness trigger so he went a little crazy. Buffy explains that Angel isn’t soulless, which just makes Riley conclude that even on a good day he’s all, “billowy coat, king of pain.” I like when people mention Angel’s brow or coat. It’s my fave.

K: Mr. Billowy Coat, King of Pain is pretty much the best description of Angel EVER. And to think, it came from Snoreface Riley.

Sweeney: Everyone gets to have their little moment sooner or later.

Lor: Buffy sits Riley down and the Feels Flute gets-a-fluting. Blah, blah, they love each other so much. And then Buffy tells him what she had to tell him: Forrest is dead. Riley says he has to go and leaves.

At the New Wiggins, Willow is still hacking. Giles is drunk. Buffy reminds them all that they are on a clock and she wants to go scope out Adam’s cave.  Willow says she can’t go back alone.

Giles: You never train with me anymore. He’s going to kick your ass.
Buffy: Giles!
Giles: Sorry. Was it a bit honest? Terribly sorry.

I just love him. Someone give Giles alcohol all of the time.

Sweeney: This seems to be a new theme; we’d have more fun if we shared our alcohol with the characters.

Lor: Xander stands up and says that Buffy won’t go alone and asks Giles to give them weapons. When Buffy says Xander can’t come, or else he’d get hurt, Xander says that Buffy and Willow can just go do their super powered thing.

Xander: I’ll stay behind and putt around the batcave with crusty old Alfred here.
Giles: Ahh, no, I am no Alfred, sir. No, you forget. Alfred had a job.

K: Seriously, drunken!Giles is the ACTUAL BEST. 

Lor: Willow sasses Buffy about how she’ll lose her arms in a fight with Adam, but it’ll be a good thing they don’t get in the way of that. Xander offers to get her new fighting pants. Buffy says this isn’t helping. Tara and Anya quietly head back into the bathroom.

Xander says he’s so good at getting in the way, they might have to ship him off to the Army, since that’s what they were saying behind his back. Buffy and Willow look appropriately confused and Buffy counters with Xander blabbing the details of her magic vagina to Riley. This is the only accusation leveled that is a thing that actually happened, interestingly.

Willow says that she’s the one being talked about anyways. Xander thinks that will change when he’s doing sit-ups at Fort Dix. Giles sputters and giggles at “Fort Dix.”

Buffy says that she needs both of them all of the time, just not now because Adam is dangerous. Willow wants to know how she’s needed, so Buffy says she’s good with the computer and does the witch stuff. I mean, Buffy says “witch stuff” but Willow hears, “YOU’RE A BIG LESBIAN.” Buffy thinks this is all crazy and as Giles falls over, we cut to Anya and Tara sitting around awkwardly in the bathroom.

Giles heads off to bed.

The squabbling keeps on, with Willow taking a stab at Xander and Anya’s relationship and also calling Buffy judgmental. Buffy: If I were any more open-minded about the choices you two make, my whole brain would fall out. Which is a pretty judgmental thing to say.

K: Truth.

Lor: Buffy wants to know what happened to them today, but Willow says this has been building for awhile now. Willow thinks it’s been wrong since Tara, because Buffy can’t handle her having a girlfriend.

Xander is shocked about the whole girlfriend thing and from upstairs, Giles gives us a, “bloody hell.” Buffy’s had enough. They want to help, right? Willow and Xander hem a little.

Buffy: No! No! You said you wanted to go. So let’s go, all of us. We’ll walk into that cave with you two attacking me and that funny drunk drooling on my shoulder. Hey! Hey, maybe that’s the secret way to killing Adam! Is that it? Is that how you can help? You’re not answering me. How can you possibly help?

She leaves, saying she’ll go to someone she can count on if she needs help.

Segue Magic to Adam in his cave, saying he’s been waiting for the person in the shadows. We switch POV and see that it’s Riley.

A title card lets us know that this is to be continued.

This episode was interesting. I really liked that a lot of these friendship issues have been subtlety building throughout the season. I didn’t mind Spike shit stirring, but I’m not a fan of things happening based solely on a lack of communication. (S: +1. Least favorite plot device ever.) I liked the confrontation at the end to a degree, but I can’t help but feel that most of it could’ve been curtailed with a, “I never said that. Who told you that? Spike? Well… evil vampire enemy…” Sure that wouldn’t have solved the underlying problems but it would’ve helped temper the breakdowns.

Buffy’s little speech at the end was interesting. We mentioned her selfishness earlier in the recap, and it would be easy to see a bit of that again in the speech. However, the consistent thing with B is that she is often dealing with things that are on a higher plane than whatever else is going on in their personal lives. I’m sorry everyone thinks there’s been back biting going on, but Buffy just saw a man get murdered. She ran for her life, was knocked unconscious and had to deliver the news to her boyfriend that his best friend is dead. In that light, it’s easier to give a little nod to her soapbox.

Sweeney: YES. To everything you just said, YES.

Lor: I’m sure readers with more feels for Scooby Gang members will have something to say about that, though. Just like we like it.

See you next time, folks! Opinions are pretty split over the two-part season finale, so I’m excited!

 

Next time on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Shit gets real real in the Abysmal Plot Arc Research Facility. Find out what happens in S04 E21 – Primeval.