Previously: THE RED WEDDING RUINED EVERYONE.
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Mhysa
Sweeney: THIS IS IT, YOU GUYS. Finale time. The final lying liar credits take us to King’s Landing, Dragonstone, FUCKTHETWINS, Winterfellstillonfireallfuckingseason, The Wall, and past the Gulf of Grief to Yunkai.
We begin the episode with my current least favorite person, Roose Bolton, looking down on the epic torching and slaughter of the remaining Stark bannermen. The Hound is riding off with Arya, who tragically comes to just in time to see her brother being paraded through the streets, headless, with his direwolf’s head staked to his body, as everyone chants, “The king of the north!” The look on her face is just too much. That’s her father and eldest brother, now, that she’s seen beheaded. Arya was always a bit wild and rebellious, even before she set out wandering the woods alone as a little girl on the run. After witnessing two beheaded family members, it’s hard to imagine her channeling that energy in a non-murdery way.
Lorraine: A few people mentioned in comments that in the last episode they didn’t really show the scope of the damage done to the north’s army. And I accepted that all, “oh, okay.” I should’ve realized that they would absolutely make it clear to us that it was a complete and brutal slaughter.
Whatever little bit of her soul Arya managed to hang on to I’m sure died the moment she saw her headless brother.
Sweeney: Her older sister is walking through the shmancey part of King’s Landing with Tyrion and Shae. Two random guys laugh at Tyrion as they walk past and Tyrion mutters their names to himself, Arya-style. When Sansa asks what he’s doing, though, he clarifies that he’s no Joffrey and he’s not going to kill people for laughing at him, but he will fuck with them a little. Sansa says he should just get over it, but Tyrion points out that he’s been getting laughed at for a lot longer than she has. This seems like backwards logic — wouldn’t that make him more used to it?
Lor: Maybe some people would get used to it, but I think he means he’s had longer to get fed up with it. If you realize it’s never gonna end, maybe that’s when you decide to at least get some shits and giggles out of it.
Sweeney: A fair point and probably an accurate interpretation. They have a cute little moment about their respective shamefulness — disgraced daughter of a traitor (FEELS!) and the half-man, demon monkey. They’re perfect for each other, jokes Tyrion, before he gives Shae a feels-filled look.
They plot the humiliation of the jokers, and Sansa suggests a prank that Arya used to play on her. This scene is brilliant because it’s cute and funny while at the same time being so incredibly loaded with emotional back-story. HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, SHOW? They are interrupted by Podrick who is urgently telling Tyrion to go a small council meeting.
Additionally, moderately happy Sansa. LOL. Let’s see how long that will last.
Sweeney: Moderately Happy Sansa is depressing because of how fleeting her good times are. It’s extra tragic after this reminder of how innocent and naive she still is, even after everything. She has somehow managed to be traumatized and sheltered at the same time.
At the meeting, Joffrey is bouncing around all excited. Tyrion wants to know if he’s killed a few puppies that day. He reads the cryptic raven that they’ve been sent, which Joffrey eagerly clarifies means that Robb “and his bitch mother” are dead. This season was tragically devoid of Joffrey-slap moments. Fuck you, Joffrey. Fuck you. For a bonus FUCK YOU, Joffrey wants Robb’s head delivered to him so that he can have it served to Sansa at his wedding feast. Tyrion tells Joffrey to calm the fuck down because Sansa is no longer his to torment. Joffrey’s pretty sure that being king means that everyone is his to torment, because he’s a creepy little shit.
When Joffrey calls Tyrion a monster, he replies that monsters can be dangerous. (L: And kings die all the time! FINGERS CROSSED.) Varys smirks as Joffrey does his, “BITCH CAN’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT” freak out. Cersei tries, uselessly as usual, to get Joffrey to cool his shit. The real victor is Tywin who chimes in, “Any man who must say, ‘I am the king,’ is no true king.” BOOM. The whole Lannister family, with the exception of Tyrion, who is consistently amazing, is so brilliantly written because I alternate between loving and hating them.
Lor: Mostly, I like when anyone bitch slaps Joffrey, even if it’s verbally. I will temporarily place my intense Tywin dislike to one side to encourage everything that is happening right now.
Sweeney: Joffrey goes off on a supid speech about how his “father” won the real war, while Tywin hid under Casterly Rock and the reactions to this moment are all sorts of brilliant. It can best be summarized by this gifset, which is just the best thing of all the things:
Moving on, because it’s about to get even better. Tywin straight up SENDS JOFFREY TO BED.
Lor: ADDITIONALLY, he sends Maester Pycell to basically Benadryl the kid to sleep. IT IS FUCKING PERFECT.
Sweeney: It’s such an awesome reminder of how much more there is to the game of thrones than wearing the crown. Joffrey petulant childs about not being tired, but is ultimately shooed off to bed by Cersei. It has been interesting to watch Cersei grow ever-more miserable during her scenes with Joffrey as the series continues.
Speaking of the game being about more than a crown, Tywin has Tyrion stay after everyone leaves so that they can discuss exactly that. Specifically, that armies give you power, and that Robb had one that he never lost a battle with one. This scene just serves to confirm what we already knew: that Tywin was behind the Red Wedding. No shit, but thanks for the clarification, show! Tyrion expresses his discomfort with the cheatery murdery way Tywin defeated Robb.
Roose needstogofuckhimself Bolton is being named Warden of the North, until Sansa’s son can come of age and take over Winterfell, since they are unaware that Bran and Rickon are still alive. Tyrion points out that Sansa’s probably not going to be big on sexytimes now that her mother and brother have joined her father on the list of people his family have taken from her. Tywin and Tyrion go on to have another depressing conversation about family honor. Tywin tells us of his former dreams of committing infanticide, just to remind us that we hate him.
Lor: Uh, yep. I can comfortably wear my Tywin dislike again. Taking ownership of the Red Wedding, encouraging your son to rape his wife and announcing that you didn’t kill your son like it’s the big accomplishment of your life? HATE.
Sweeney: Tyrion then goes to Sansa to find her sitting in the window crying about the latest deaths in the family. The scene is just him saying her name before they exchange deep! meaningful! looks! and he leaves. It does a beautiful job of stomping on my heart.
Meera tries to make a joke of it, but Bran insists that the punishment wasn’t about murder or the person-pie, but the fact that he killed a guest beneath his roof — an unforgivable act.
Lor: And the gods will not forgive that! YOU HEAR THAT, MARTIN? THE SNARK LADIES WILL NOT… wait. I’m getting mixed up again.
Sweeney: It happens.
With that, Bran unknowingly (MORE FEELS) segue magics us to Walder alreadyagiantfuckingrat Frey. Frey is bragging to Roose Bolton about how Lord Tully had mocked him and now he and much of his line is deceased (or imprisoned) while Frey is Lord of Riverrun. Bolton informs us that The Blackfish escaped, which I guess we’re meant to find consolation in, but not really.
Bolton then justifies his bullshit by saying that Robb ignored his advice and might be alive if he had been less arrogant. Then they laugh at how the young wolf will be forever young. This is making me nauseous. Any and all references to the Red Wedding are painful, but this open mocking of it is just more than I can stand.
To remind us that gruesome things are common around these parts, Frey asks Bolton about Winterfell, and wants to know (1) whether he’ll move there -and- (2) what really happened up there. WALDER FREY, DON’T YOU EVEN FUCKING MENTION WINTERFELL. Both of you shut your whore mouths right now. Bolton mentions that he sent Ramsay to get Theon out of Winterfell. He mentions the torture-free orders Ramsay had, and adds that Ramsay has “his own way of doing things.” His own sick, twisted way of doing things.
This segue magics us to Ramsay eating a pork sausage and talking to still-strapped-up Theon about the size of his cock. Ramsay resumes the psychological torture, asking Theon if he’ll have a “phantom cock,” and I don’t know what to do with this scene. It’s a lot less of the gratuitous torture-porn we’ve seen all season, but after being subjected to that, it’s hard for me to view this as anything more. It is, however, as Theon begs Ramsay to kill him and Ramsay says he’s no good to them dead. Then we get back to the creepertastic torture to which we have grown so accustomed, as Ramsay punches Theon until he calls himself Reek.
Back in the Rat Cook’s Castle of Never Feeling Hungry Again, Bran wakes up when he hears a noise. He wakes his Lost Boys and Meera launches at the intruder who turns out to be none other than Sam. Sam spots Summer and realizes that this must be Jon Snow’s little brother who fell from the window. (He also mentions Ghost, who needs to fucking reunite with Jon Snow ASAP.) Sam says that he’d be dead without Jon and he’ll do anything to help Bran. His request? Take us north of the wall. Sam’s all, “Well, like, anything but that.”
Lor:
Sweeney: Well done.
Sam tries to talk him out of it, but that’s just not happening. Sam even suggests going by way of The Wall, but they’re not having that. Jojen then implies that Bran is going to be the one to stop the White Walkers. This scene indicates a little bit more of Bran’s sense of purpose in going north of the wall, but I don’t think they’ve been all that clear on this point. They originally portrayed it as being about finding Jon. They haven’t been particularly clear on why Bran thinks he’s the key here. I’m guessing it’s got something to do with both Bran and Jojen’s dreams, but I wish that they were a little clearer on this, because right now it feels a little insane.
In the Iron Islands, Papa Greyjoy is reading a letter from Ramsay as Yara opens the accompanying package containing, “Theon’s favorite toy. He cried when I took it away from him.” Papa Greyjoy mostly just rolls his eyes at it, but poor Yara looks like she’s going to throw up. Papa Greyjoy doesn’t plan to do shit for the foolish boy who disobeyed his orders and can no longer further the Greyjoy line. Yara’s like, “SRSLY ASSHOLE?” and resolves to take the fastest ship, 50 best fighters, and go bring her baby brother home. Because she’s a badass. There’s still that time that she let her little brother feel her up, but she gets all the badass points right now.
Lor: It’s great the type of forgiving person Game of Thrones makes you. Additionally, parents in this universe ARE THE ACTUAL WORST.
Sweeney: Indeed. We’re like experts on bad parenting now, and that’s on another level.
Back in Rat Cook’s Castle, Sam is gifting Bran and company the dragon glass they found and explaining what it’s for. Meera is super impressed that Sam killed a White Walker. Sam tries to talk him out of it one more time, telling him of the sheer numbers that they’ll be up against, but no dice. Bran’s farewell shot for season 3 is the backs of Jojen, Hodor, and Meera as Bran is carted behind them giving Sam his best, “I really do wish I could come with you,” face. Sam and Gilly exchange, “That kid’s gonna die,” looks.
Lor: Take it back, Sam and Gilly! Your boring asses didn’t die North of the wall. Let’s hope the same for Bran’s still-as-boring-but-at-lease-super-specially-gifted-ass.
Sweeney: Davos revisits the dungeon he so recently hung out in to shoot the shit with Gendry and tell him it was “just a bit of blood,” and Gendry’s all LOL, whatever highborn douchebag — did someone put leeches on your dick recently? Then they chat about their respective impoverished origins in King’s Landing. Gendry jokes about how far he’s come, and adds that even though he doesn’t trust Creepy Red [Melisandre] he was pretty outmatched when she came at his virgin self with, “Big words. No clothes.” Fair point, Gendry.
Lor: Plus, magic vagina. I’m adding that in for Gendry.
Sweeney: Gendry asks Davos to tell him his back story, and continues to get his snark on. Davos says it’s a long story and Gendry jokes about how busy he is with his imprisonment. Davos shares that he only became a lord to give his son a better life and that son is now dead for following him. It was more Lord of Light than you, Davos. With that, Davos scurries off to go do the right thing.
Back in King’s Landing, Shae is broodily looking out at ships when Varys comes to chat about her history. He says she’s been a good influence on Tyrion. And for all that, she’s now his wife’s servant. Varys defends Sansa’s innocence in all this, though there’s no need. Shae insists that she loves Sansa and would kill for her, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Varys commiserates with Shae about how not being highborn means that they’ll never truly be able to enter that world. He goes on to encourage her to leave, offering her a bag of diamonds. Varys wants her to go start a new life. Shae asks why he is doing this. “Tyrion Lannister is one of the few people alive who can make this country a better place. He has the mind for it, he has the will, he has the right last name, and you — you are a complication.” He goes on to say that he’s not asking her to leave for the money, but because her presence endangers him and wants her to find a true home while there is still time.
Shae throws the bag of diamonds back at Varys and sasses that if Tyrion wants her gone, he can be the one to say it. I get where she’s coming from here, but UGH. Everything Varys has just said is true. And what is her grand plan in staying, exactly? I love Shae, but she’s thinking with her pride right now and that’s not going to lead to anything good. Take the bag of diamonds and GTFO.
Lor: AGREED. Varys said all the right things in the best way possible (adding more credence to the idea that he only does what’s best for the realm) but Shae can’t see it. Also, even if you wasn’t going to leave, take the diamonds anyways, girlfriend!
Sweeney: Tyrion is getting smashed with Podrick and forcing him to get drinkdrankdrunk too. Cersei comes in and tells Podrick to leave and he’s all, “OMG YES PLEASE.” Cersei asks Tyrion about married life and Tyrion says that Sansa doesn’t deserve this. Cersei’s all, “LOL, has anybody on this show gotten what they deserve?” Cersei goes on to insist that she won’t be marrying Loras because she’s her and she’ll work shit out. She adds that if Tyrion really wants to improve Sansa’s life, he’ll give her a child.
Tyrion notes that she has children and asks how happy she’d consider herself. He’s surprised by the candid, “Not very,” he gets in response. She goes on to say, however, that she would have killed herself if it weren’t for her children. I know that plenty of people heard this and went all, “TOO BAD,” but I think my feelings on this subject are well enough established that nobody’s surprised to learn that I love this scene as much as all of the other complicated Cersei-has-all-these-layers moments. I love this character equally as much as I hate her.
As Cersei goes on about how her children are the only thing in this life that bring her joy, Tyrion asks the obvious question, “Even Joffrey?” Yes, even him, says Cersei. The Cersei/Joffrey relationship is an interesting thing, because she recognizes that he’s crazy and infinitely worse than she is, but she’s still his mother. She goes on to reminisce about baby!Joffrey: “You always hear the terrible ones were terrible babies. We should have known, even then, we should have known! It’s nonsense.” She says that not even Joffrey can take away from her that feeling of having someone of your own.
Tyrion sits in silence for a bit, before asking how long it goes on. “Until we’ve dealt with all our enemies,” answers Cersei. “Every time we deal with an enemy, we create two more.” Cersei supposes it will go on for quite a long time. Well, yes. I have seen how big these books are. But seriously: Cersei/Tyrion scenes are SO GOOD. (Granted, Tyrion/Anyone scenes are epic, so…) This also drives home everything that Varys said about Tyrion’s capacity to be a positive force on the realm. It’s a struggle because he’s currently inhibited by his batshit family members, but he just gets it. He’s one of the few people who is good at the game without also being a terrible person.
Lor: Their love/hate relationship is also great to watch. They have an air that says they cannot stand each other, and yet Cersei keeps coming back to him and they have these deep and meaningful conversations. They can be honest with each other to an extent. They can commiserate. Tyrion can let her know that her son is fucked up. Something like that.
Sweeney: Out in the woods, Arya and The Hound are riding around and they overhear some of Frey’s bannermen laughing about the gruesome Red Wedding deaths. SHOW. STOP THIS. Arya jumps off the horse, and The Hound lingers off to the side to wait and see what she’ll do. She creeps up on the campfire and plays the sweet little girl, offering to pay them for some of their food because she’s hungry. She pulls out her A-Man coin and drops it, before stabbing the main braggart. At that, The Hound comes up and kills the others. He asks where she got the knife — from him, because she’s a sneaky little thing. The Hound asks if it’s the first man she’s ever killed, due to the man/boy technicality, the answer is yes. The Hound asks her to warn him the next time she does something like that. She picks up her coin and whispers “Valar Morghulis” to herself. Little direboss.
Lor: Completely dead inside, and yet, I love her.
Sweeney: As much time as we’ve spent cringing at the gruesome deaths, this moment, a little girl killing a man in a particularly brutal way, was almost more satisfying than disturbing. Arya’s epic childhood trauma has been so heavily established that I would have expected nothing less from her. For all the boundless feels from the Red Wedding, it was almost cathartic to see Arya take vengeance on at least one of the many men who murdered her family. It’s complicated, though, because there’s a war involved and the list has now grown beyond what she could conceivably recite in her bedtime murder prayers. It seemed that the parting scene with A-Man would have been omitted if that weren’t ultimately telling us where Arya is headed. She just wasn’t quite there yet. At the time, for all she had seen, she still had some hope and optimism for a family reunion. As she continues to see that she lives in an unjust world (one where so few seem to get what they truly “deserve”) that is ruled — at least from her perspective — by violence, she moves ever-closer to the path of joining the band of justice-driven murders. I love that this show has given us such a complicated little girl, given that the very words “little girl” evoke an image so incongruous with what Arya is.
Lor: I love everything you said and will only add that there continues to be such a stark and well done contrast between Sansa and Arya. Sansa- dressed in finery and crying by a window, still too unspoiled to know that shit is the crude thing the world deals in, and Arya, dirty and in the woods, and only crying out as she digs her knife into a full grown man.
Sweeney: Agreed. The vastly different experience of the two Stark girls has been a powerful thing to watch.
In another nowhere, Jon Snow is cleaning his wounds at a tiny pond when he hears Ygritte come up behind him, pointing her bow and arrow at him. He says he didn’t have a choice and she always knew what he is. He has to go home now. He says he loves her, BUT DOESN’T FUCKING ASK HER TO COME WITH HIM. WHY DIDN’T YOU ASK HER TO COME WITH YOU? Some bullshit that you love her. Some equal bullshit is Ygritte shooting him as he gets on his horse and rides away. That scene was rough because I am now frustrated with both of them.
Lor: I’m mostly frustrated with Ygritte because I continue to be ambivalent towards her and she tried to off what remaining eye candy we have.
Sweeney: A fair grievance. I feel for Ygritte, but taking away our eye candy is unforgivable.
At The Wall, Sam and Gilly have arrived and are explaining to Maester Aemon that Gilly is one of Papa Incest’s wives/daughters and the kid is totes not Sam’s because he remembers and has upheld the oath. Then he adds that they can’t turn people away now that he’s seen White Walkers north of The Wall. With that, Aemon says Gilly may stay as their guests, and has Sam sit down to write letters to send with all 44 ravens at The Wall.
Cut to Davos, reading some ravens sent to Stannis, in Shireen’s tower. She corrects his reading. He adorably asks her why there is a “g” in night. Shireen would rather he read cool books about dragons instead of boring ravens. Then he comes across the totes not-boring raven from The Wall. Bells start ringing just as he does. He hurries off and tells Shireen to barricade the door.
He goes to Stannis and Creepy Red who are gloating about the death of Robb Stark. Creepy Red tosses what I assume are his pieces on their Battleship Planning Table as she creeps that she has faith and that faith has been rewarded. I hate everyone. I can’t even keep track of who I hate most at any given time because the answer is: ALMOST EVERYONE. Davos again insists that uniting the kingdoms with blood magic is bad news bears, but Stannis is all, “Ugh, we’ve been over this,” and reminds him that the Targaryens did it with dragons and blood magic. The actual point for Davos, though, is that Gendry doesn’t need to die, especially since their leeches supposedly did the job.
Davos goes on to plead Gendry’s case, mentioning that Gendry is his nephew. This was probably not his best play, because Stannis seems the sort to manipulate that in his mind to meaning he’s making a true personal sacrifice, or perhaps to just be disdainful of Robert’s whoring about. Davos was better off keeping Gendry as a detached innocent. Stannis reiterates that Gendry’s got to die.
Down in the dungeon, Davos is breaking Gendry out. He’s all, “WUT?” Davos brings Gendry to a rickety ship and gives him a bag of bread and water, with some rushed parting advice on where to go and what to avoid. Gendry is clearly clueless and also doesn’t know how to swim. Davos basically says, “K, well, just keep rowing until you get to King’s Landing and don’t fall in, all right?” It’s kind of fantastic.
Lor: Essentially: living in Westeros.
Sweeney: Accurate.
At The Wall, Jon’s horse gets him there just in time for him to fall off, nearly dead from his many arrows. He and Sam have a heartfelt reunion a moment before Jon is carried off to hopefully be fixed up and not dead because I will lose my shit if we have another Stark death so soon.
Lor: No worries. You have a year to assume he’s still alive!
Sweeney: Continuing with this theme of homecomings, Jaime is arriving at King’s Landing, looking grubby and not being recognized by people bustling about doing their business. He and Brienne exchange, “We got here!” looks before he runs off to find Cersei, who is sitting alone, brooding. She flips out when she sees him and his amputated hand. I don’t even know what to do with this moment. I want to feel all these characters’ feels, but now that the Incest Elephant is back in the room, I really can’t. Also, Jaime, please don’t undo all the amazing character growth we’ve witnessed. Also, please let that be the only thing you share with Cersei.
Creepy Red has her murder face on when she asks Davos if he feels good about his mercy saving the boy’s life. The fact that you can ask this question in accusatory tone is just one of many reasons you are just the creepiest. Yes is obviously the answer to her question. Stannis yells at Davos and sentences him to die. Davos is all, “BUT WAIT, I HAVE A LETTER!” He gives him the letter about the White Walkers and insists that Stannis will need him, though Stannis gives no fucks. Creepy Red takes the letter as Stannis asks when Davos learned to read. Davos lies that his son did before he died. Substitute Parent points for you, Davos. Creepy Red tosses the letter into the fire and stares at it before informing Stannis that the War of Five Kings is nothing to the real war in the North and that only Stannis can stop it. And Bran! Anyway, Stannis still wants to kill Davos, but Creepy Red begrudgingly admits that the fire told her he’s important in the war to come. Then Creepy Red and Davos have a stare off.
Sweeney: SHE’S THE WORST. THE ABSOLUTE WORST. Right now, I mean. Because everyone is the worst.
Just outside the gates of Yunkai, Dany is standing on a rock with her advisers, with her army all around her, waiting for the former slaves to come join her cause. She wonders if perhaps they didn’t want to be conquered and Ser Jorah Friendzoned insists that she is a liberator and not a conqueror. I have some feelings about all of this, but I’ll get to that in a second.
Eventually, the people of Yunkai do open the gates and all come flooding out at once. Translator Girl starts to give a speech about how they owe Dany their freedom and she’s all, “Nah, that’s not what I’m about.” She then tells them that their freedom is theirs alone to claim. Then a guy starts chanting “Mhysa!” and his daughter and the rest of the crowd join him, earning them all the final gold star of the season! Congrats, people of Yunkai!
Lor: Freedom is cool, BUT GOLD STARS ARE BEST.
Sweeney: Translator Girl explains that it means, “Mother.” So Dany sends her dragons into the air (is it just me or do they seem a bit smaller than they were when she fake gave one away?) and walks out into the crowd. Eventually they lift her into the air for some crowdsurfing fun times as we pan up and once again end the season with an epic aerial shot of Daenerys. This time, it’s the white-blond chick in a sea of infinity times more people of color than this show has ever seen. Which brings me to my squick: I get that this was supposed to be our big epic ending, but I hated it. It rubbed me the wrong way, because Daenerys is playing out the epitome of the White Savior trope. In a show that has featured so few people of color, (and generally only as “tribal” people) for them to do it only to push the White Savior bullshit really, really rubbed me the wrong way.
Lor: It felt a little slow at points while I was watching, but over all I was left with an appreciation for this episode and the way it was paced. It started with a reminder of the horror of the Red Wedding, but from there tried to manage both light and dark moments. I was on edge the entire episode waiting for another axe to fall, but instead we got a true wrap-up episode. Nothing new happened. We were just reminded of where all the pieces on the chessboard were located before we faded to black on another season.
Sweeney: I think it was smart to do this as a proper wrap-up episode. I also thank them for it, because if another axe had dropped — literally or figuratively — it would have made the wait that much more brutal.
Before we leave Westeros behind, we have one last round of #gameofsnark tweets. As always, click the link for all the amazing tweets we missed:
Until then, feel free to revisit past episodes and feel all the feels in the comments. You can trust that we’ll rewatch an episode or two or all of them before spring of 2014 rolls around, so we’ll be rejoining you there with tissues.
Next time on Game of Thrones: We have to wait a whole freaking year to find out, but I’m sure it involves crying all the cries for someone or other and also dragons.
Nicole is the co-captain of Snark Squad and these days she spends most of her time editing podcasts. She spends too much time on Twitter and very occasionally vlogs and blogs. In her day job she's a producer, editor, director, and sometimes host of educational YouTube channels. She loves travel, maps, panda gifs, and semicolons. Writing biographies stresses her out; she crowd sourced this one years ago and has been using a version of it ever since. She would like to thank Twitter for their help.
I'm a 30-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
