Angel S02 E12 – Old friends, older enemies

Previously: The worst parts of  Angel and Angelus combined to form Crazy Angel, or CrAngel. He proceeded to set Darla and Dru on fire. The Fangless Gang decided to continue without King Broods-a-lot, and also sang drunken karaoke. It was awesome.
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Blood Money

Kirsti: After the previouslies, we’re at Cordy’s apartment. Gunn and Wes are in a stare down. This leads into some very hard core “I’mma beat you” talk, which culminates in Gunn beating Wes at Risk. Gunn gloats and does a little happy dance, and it’s pretty fantastic.

Cordy appears in her dressing gown, and is all “Wow, it’s super late, you guys should go.” Wes is all “Uhhhhh, it’s half seven, weirdo,” and she tells them to get out. Apparently the office is now based in her apartment, and she’s sick of them both. The trio mope a little about how Angel’s never going to call, and then Wes makes a decision that the first thing to go will be the stupid business cards. Cordy gets pissy on account of she designed them, and we all take shots from the season 1 drinking game as Gunn says “That’s an angel? It looks like a lobster with a growth.”

Sweeney: Aw, nostalgia shots! They have an added warm fuzzy feeling.

K: Much like the actual warm fuzzy feeling that the booze brings! The guys decide that they should create their own logo and Wes suggests the tag line “Danger is our business; we’ll catch you if you fall.” That, of course, is the cue for Cordy to collapse with a vision. Apparently a fire-breathing two headed beastie is rising in the sewers under a girls’ school. As Wes and Gunn run out the door, she yells that they shouldn’t go alone.

Lorraine: I have to mention that the fourth character in this scene, Cordelia’s Hair, is now even shorter and has more highlights. Maybe Charisma Carpenter does things to her hair like some of us stress eat.

K: Valid point. With that, we segue magic over to Angel walking down a dark street. He bumps into a blonde girl, spilling all the stuff she’s carrying. Said blonde girl is Chantarelle/Lily/Anne, who’s now looking a lot less sad and druggy and homeless. Hurrah for Buffy setting her up in an apartment at the start of season 3!

Lor: When I read this, I thought you meant the actress, but it’s like the CHARACTER. WOOHOO, SUBTLE CROSSOVER MAGIC. It’s so exciting!

Sweeney: I watched and then came to comment, and I’m glad that I did, because the slow realization was great. At this point I was still all, “I KNOW THIS ACTRESS. WHY DO I KNOW HER?” Then she introduced herself and I died and cheered for the subtle crossover magic. THEY’VE MET BEFORE, Y’ALL! Remember that one time Angel called you an idiot, Anne? No? OK.

K: You’d think she’d remember him from That Time She Nearly Died, but I guess Spike and Dru were more memorable…

Anyway, Anne now works with troubled kids and runaways at East Hill Teen Centre, and the box of stuff Angel knocked out of her hands was old clothes that have been donated. She leaves, and Angel heads back to the Hyperion. The Flutes of Feels strike up momentarily as he broods his way to his room, but then he pulls out Anne’s wallet, and glares at a bunch of surveillance pictures of her and Lindsey that are stuck to the wall. Roll electric cellos.

After the credits, we get a really weird bunch of shots of sewer tunnels. It’s like it was meant to be a Seizure Cut, but they forgot to make it seizure-y. (L: Hate when that happens.) Wes and Gunn head down a tunnel with their axes drawn. Gunn makes a comment about how he wishes he had…, but Wes interrupts him to say that there’s no point wishing Angel were there. Gunn replies, “I was going to say ‘some dynamite,” and Wes gets all awkward.

They briefly wonder if they could come back later, then peer around the corner into the main sewer line. They jump back into their hiding spot, because the tunnel is apparently 20 feet high and the beastie is crouching down. They take another look, and it breathes fire at them. Wes and Gunn jump out of the tunnel with a battle cry, and I can’t speak for the other Snark Ladies, but I’m kind of relieved that the Special Effects department have been given the week off in favour of just keeping the beastie out of frame.

Lor: Actually, I always welcome the terrible special effects. They make things feel homey.

Sweeney: +1. I’m a big fan of their work.

K: We cut over to a water plant or something? IDK. Anyway, the demon that Angel tied up in the sewers last time lives there. Angel bursts in and starts grilling Merl for information about Anne. In particular, her connection to Wolfram & Hart. The shelter she works for nearly lost their lease, but W&H fixed it all up for them for free. The shelter’s legit though, despite the W&H connection. Merl demands his $100, because apparently he’s the Spike of AtS, but Angel just judges his furniture and leaves.

Lor: For all his Lone Ranger act, Angel needs a Robin to his Batman. He fired the Gang, but has to turn to Merl for help and information. I SEE YOU, ANGEL.

Sweeney: Even the Lone Ranger needed Tonto. (I actually know nothing about TLR, so I shall now sit and wait for someone to tell me why my pop culture references are invalid.)

K: All I know about the Lone Ranger is that he has a horse called Silver. Over at the shelter, Angel’s turned up with a bag full of clothes to donate. Cordy’s clothes, specifically. Anne’s all “What, this pink floral top doesn’t fit any more?” and he replies that it cuts him across the bust. Urgh. There’s a mental image I could have done without...

He says he wishes he could do more, and she asks if he’s got time to hang around and do some chores. Apparently yes, because she shows him to her office. She mentions Wolfram & Hart, and Angel gets his SRS BSNSS face on. Apparently they’ve been her guardian angels, and are arranging a charity benefit for the shelter, in which celebrities pretend to rob guests of their donations. Sounds like the worst idea ever to me, but hey. I’m not an evil law firm, so what would I know?!

Lor: (1) – CrAngel, YOU ARE A JERK. GIVING AWAY HER CLOTHES? (2) – Seriously? A pretend to rob you charity ball? How about I just give you the money, and you don’t?

Sweeney: Also, just a terribly inappropriate idea given the general image of teen runaways. It comes a little too close to having the feel of trying to mock the people they are supposedly out to help. I know, it’s an evil law firm and blah blah I’ll shut up now.

K: No, they’re pretty valid points. I mean, yes, it’s a concept that crazy rich people would be on board with. But they should definitely have thought about what they’re raising money for before committing to that theme. Back at Merl’s, a demon who looks like he’s made out of concrete bursts in and starts roughing Merl up about working for Angel. Apparently Concrete Demon and Angel have unfinished business. Merl mentions Wolfram & Hart, and Concrete Demon demands that Merl tell him everything about them.

We head over to the car park at W&H where Lilah’s getting into her car. She adjusts her rear view mirror, then goes to reverse out, jumping in shock when she sees Angel in her back seat. ANGEL HAS NO REFLECTION SHOTS! He gets all “Hey, cool promotion,” before taking a turn for the CrAngel and saying that he understands the game now, particularly the part where it has no rules. And that now it’s his turn to mess with her. Things get Angelus-y, and then take a turn for the Hogwarts when he disappears so quickly that I’m sure he must have Apparated.

Lor: I didn’t even hear the car door.

K: I don’t think he used it. See: Apparition.

Seizure cut to Wolfram & Hart. Lilah’s freaked, and Lindsey’s arguing that she’s overreacting. His secretary informs him that his next appointment is there, and but he doesn’t have a next appointment. It’s the Concrete Demon, whose name is apparently Boone. He wants to talk about Angel. Specifically, his grudge against Angel. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Concrete Demon is filling them in on his backstory with Angel: they knew each other in Mexico back in the 1920s, liked the same girl, and fought for three and a half hours. I stop to be confused, because surely 1920s Angel was all about the brooding and less about the girls? Whatever, show. Whatever. Concrete Demon’s big plan is that when Angel comes after Lindsey and Lilah, he’s there waiting instead. Lindsey’s on board, but Lilah points out to him that the senior partners want Angel alive. Lindsey DGAF – “Boo hoo. Let me wipe away the tears with my plastic hand.” Lilah then refers to him as Napoleon, which made me snort laugh ridiculously hard, but Lindsey says that if Angel’s not going to play by the rules, he isn’t either.

Over at Cordy’s, Wes and Gunn are filling Cordy in on how they killed the enormous demon. It’s all very macho and boo-yah-y. When they’re done, she asks if they were scared. Their replies are adorable:

Wesley: “Oh, mother in heaven.” 
Gunn:  “Pants wetting, praising the Lord to save me kind of scared.  All right?”

Bless. Cordy’s all proud because the three of them did it, even without Angel. She says that she’s started looking at offices for their new business, and they squabble over which of the three of them it should be named after.

Lor: Episode-ly reminder that I love them. So much.

Sweeney: +1. They are amazing and I’m glad they are still sticking together.

K: Agreed. Back at the Hyperion, Angel is staring at the pictures of Anne some more. He sighs and starts taking them down. Down at Merl’s sewer-partment, someone grabs Merl from behind and slams his head into a wall. He assumes it’s Angel, but no. It’s a Wolfram & Hart lackey. Lilah’s there, and wants to know what he’s been doing for Angel recently. He spills the beans on following Anne.

Over at the shelter, Anne’s working late. She hears a noise, which is obviously Angel. He shows her the photos and her wallet, and is all, “Sorry not sorry I was stalking you.” She says that she’s going to call the cops, and he says that he had a good reason for stalking her – Wolfram & Hart. He says they’re going to screw her over – take everything for themselves and give her 5% of the money raised. She looks horrified for a minute, but then gets all “Oh yeah? Well, you’re a creeper!” which is totally fair. He says he can prove that they’re lying, but just then Lindsey bursts in.

Lindsey asks if Anne’s okay, and when Angel mocks his concern, suggests that he turn around. Concrete Demon walks in, and attacks Angel. They fight, and Concrete Demon has the upper hand because he can apparently make coils of metal appear around his hands, so it’s like he’s fighting with brass knuckles on. I know this because they give us a close up of his hands, which only serves to indicate that they’d done several takes of this scene and that the make up was coming off the actor’s hands, because you can see big bits of pink where the concrete colour has flaked off. Womp womp.

ANYWAY. They fight, and Angel gets thrown into several walls. He runs off, and Concrete Demon gets pissed on account of he didn’t get to kill anyone. Lindsey tells him to go wait in the car and then tells Anne that she’s safe. She doesn’t look convinced.

After the Not Commercial Break, Anne’s all, “so he clearly wasn’t human”, and Lindsey starts to give her the monsters are real speech. But Anne’s been rescued by Buffy twice, so she’s all, “bitch, talk to the hand.” (S: I know she had no real reason to say it, but points deducted for not seizing this opportunity to mention her Sunnydale education.) (K: See, I always got the impression that she was just passing through Sunnydale. I suspect Sunnydale-ians would know better than to worship vampires.) He tells her that Angel’s a deranged vampire and can’t be trusted, no matter what he says about W&H stealing all the money from the fundraiser. She tells Lindsey that Angel said he had proof, and Lindsey says it’s not possible.

Cut to Lindsey filling Lilah in. She freaks out, because they were going to steal $2 million from the teen shelter, and HOW CAN ANGEL HAVE PROOF, DAMMIT. They squabble about it, and then realise that talking about it in public is pretty much the worst plan ever on account of Angel could be taping it. Lilah thinks he’s going to send the tape to the media, but Lindsey says that it lacks the personal touch Angel loves so much. He makes a phone call, and demands that security at the gala be doubled, and that a vampire detector be present.

Back at the shelter, Anne is unsurprised to see Angel. He asks if she’s okay, and she replies “I didn’t have a big monster pounding my face into the floor, so I figure I’m better than you.” Too right, Anne. And you don’t even know about CrAngel yet! He wants to know what Lindsey said about him, and after she’s told him, wonders why she’s not scared of him seeing as how he’s vampire and all. Anne is all, “bitch please” again, and I feel the need to add that I love the fact that they don’t get all “Oh, this girl called Buffy saved me a bunch of times” because that leads to Angel brooding, and there’s already enough of that, thank you very much.

Lor: I was just going to make a comment about how I wanted her to bring Buffy up SO MUCH. And really at this point, can CrAngel brood anymore? He’s hit the point of brooding so deeply, he actually doesn’t give a fuck. I KNOW. IT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

Sweeney: I am similarly confused by his state of transcendent brooding, though I was also rooting for a Buffy mention just to drive home the crossover magic. That said, the brilliance is in the fact that they’re being subtle about it.

K: I hadn’t really considered this episode to be crossover magic-y, hence my “Thank God they don’t mention Buffy”. Anyway, she says that she’s seen much worse things than vampires, and that if W&H are going to help her raise $2 million, she’ll let them, because even 5% of that is more than she could raise in two years. Angel says that it’s blood money, and that if she lets him into the party, he’ll expose Wolfram & Hart. She refuses.

Cut to the gala, which features country music, staff wearing chaps and cowboy hats, and a video of Holland Manners in a cardigan. Disturbing all around, really. Lilah introduces Anne to one of her bosses. Upstairs, Lindsey is checking in with the security team and the vampire detector, making sure that they know to contact the Concrete Demon if Angel turns up. As Holland’s cheese-fest of a video finishes, Lilah takes the stage. She introduces the bandits for the evening, stars of a fictional TV show.

They start to hold people up with cap guns, and apparently rich people are really stupid because the men are handing over big fat envelopes marked “$25,000 CASH” while the women give up their jewellery.

Lor: A woman asks one of the actresses, “this thing with making your character gay, is that like all about ratings?  Because I don’t get it.” Willow joke? I’m calling it a Willow joke.

K: Seems fair. The stars start to hand the takings over to the W&H guys, who run it through counting machines in the middle of  the room, because OBVIOUSLY THAT IS A THING YOU WOULD DO IN THE MIDDLE OF A GALA. I can’t even. Upstairs, the vampire detector pulls off his robe to reveal that it’s Angel. Behind him, the Concrete Demon appears and asks if he’s ready to finish this. Fade to black.

After the Not Commercial Break, Lilah is thanking the celebrities who are apparently done with their five minutes of work. She thanks the benefactors, saying that together they can make the world safer for all children. Over the applause comes the sound of fighting, and we pan up to the balcony where Angel and the Concrete Demon are fighting. They roll over the balcony and down to the ground. The rich people scream before wondering if it’s part of the act. The security team stop them, and Lindsey demands the tape from Angel. He doesn’t have it. Concrete Demon comes over, and asks Angel if he’s okay, because they’re predictably in on it together. Lindsey is pissed, then spots Anne heading towards the AV equipment with the tape in her hand. He and Lilah run through the crowd in a panic, with everything being recorded by a cameraman.

Anne puts the tape in the machine, and we’re treated to random footage of Cordy rehearsing and then Wes doing a dance and a stripe tease.

Angel, meanwhile, is all “LOL, TRICKED YOU!! And thanks to the random cameraman whose footage was feeding directly to the big screen, everyone knows that you were up to something. Oh, and BTW, the money’s gone,” to Lilah and Lindsey. They rush over to the table to find the counting staff unconscious and the money suspiciously absent.

Lor: Showing that video of Wesley and Cordy was another dick move. I happen to know he has some Doyle footage he could show that is awesome. 

Sweeney: WHY DID YOU JUST DO THAT TO MY FEELS? THAT WAS A DICK MOVE.

K: Sorry, Sweens. I’m gonna have to agree with Lor on this one, despite the added feels. Outside, Anne grabs Angel and slaps him. I cheer, because he deserves it. (L: Word.) She says that she risked everything, and it was all for nothing. He points out that it was dirty money, and she claims that she doesn’t care. “Yes, you do. That’s the difference between us – you still care,” he replies. With that, he walks away.

Sweeney: Except, like, he’s doing an awful lot of interfering for not caring? This is a really stupid line.

K: SO MUCH. Back at Wolfram & Hart, the boss Lilah introduced Anne to is tearing Lilah and Lindsey a new one. Lindsey wants to know how they can succeed when the rules protect Angel. Lilah stands back and lets him keep digging a hole. Because Angel’s a bigwig in the coming apocalypse and they want him on their side, the boss replies. Also, if Angel’s obsession with Lilah and Lindsey happens to result in their deaths, then pff. Whatevs.

Over at the Hyperion, Angel bins the file on Anne. He heads up the stairs towards his room, but stops half way because his spidey senses tell him that Concrete Demon is there. Concrete Demon tosses the bag full of money and jewellery into the middle of the floor, then informs Angel that it’s about $2.5 million. He’s wagering it on the outcome of the fight between the two of them. We get a shot of his hand as the metal coils surround it, then he and Angel Superman-fly across the room at each other. Cut to Angel dumping the bag of slightly bloody money on Anne’s desk. His face is all cut to crap, but he’s brought her all the money. He says that Wolfram & Hart can’t know she has it, and she says she knows how to hide it. She starts unpacking the money as we fade to black.

This was a decidedly average episode for me. Not enough of Wes, Cordy and Gunn, too much of Angel and his maybe-dark-side-maybe-not bullshit. I mean, I’ve seen worse episodes. And I liked the return of a sporadically occurring character. But I’m getting really sick of Wolfram & Hart and their “WE’RE EVIL” plans of evilness. You know?

 

Next time on Angel: Lorne discovers a man who has the power to freeze time all over the world and whose relationship is on the rocks. Bad combo? You betcha. Find out more in S02 E13 – Happy Anniversary.