Angel S02 E14 – Imagine the smell.

Previously: Lorne was awesome. Other things happened in the episode, I’m sure.
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The Thin Dead Line

Lorraine: Another instant round of the Feelsy Soundtrack starts us off this episode, as Angel broods around the empty and dark Brooding Hotel. Someone get this man a puppy.

K: Except that not, on account of Angelus likes to play with puppies a little too much…

Lor: Someone get this man a Tamagatchi.

We head over to the Fangless Gang headquarters, where things are decidedly less soul crushing, but also, business is slow. Not to worry, dear friends, because this set-up dialogue can only mean that the Segue Magic Fairy is working double time to get these guys a case even as we speak. And what do you know! Here comes some clients. A woman leads her daughter in, as Cordelia awkwardly assures her that they can handle anything, and as Cordelia’s Hair is blonder than ever.

Sweeney: I’m not a fan of the lighter hair on Cordelia, but anything that doesn’t look like a wig is better than some of what we’ve seen.

K: Agreed.

Lor: Both Cordy and Cordy’s Hair freakout, though, when they see that there is an eye on the back of the daughter’s head. Backwards Cyclops was walking home when something bit her. She woke up the next day with an eye. Worst day ever.

Two young people are being chased through the street by a shadowy creature. We cut to Anne, she of the Blood Money Shelter. The two Shadow Chased Youths knock on the door of the shelter and beg to be let in, even though it’s past curfew. Anne says the shelter is full, so even if she decided to let them in, there are no beds. The Youths are scared shitless, though, and would rather sleep on the floor than stay outside. Anne lets them in, takes a furtive glance outside and then closes the door.

Something moves about the shadows, but seriously it’s so shadowed it’s hard to see anything at all. Thankfully, the episode description has informed me that it’s probably a zombie cop. Roll electric cellos. I miss Charisma Carpenter’s long hair. LOL at Angel’s Super Jump onto the helicopter. Still funny.

Sweeney: I love that the show lets us laugh at that moment all over again at the beginning of each episode.

Lor: Establishing zoomy shots of LA take us to Merl packing his things as he should’ve done a long time ago. Of course, Angel apparates into the room mid-pack. Merl gives Angel one last bit of information (some Wolfram and Hart meeting the next day) and calls it a freebie, just like all the other information he’s given. Angel wants to know why he’s in a rush to relocate and Merl gives an emphatic YOU, followed up by the observation that at least Wesley knew how to keep a working relationship. Angel starts to bite back, but Merl interrupts him with a, “yeah, how IS Wesley and those other two you fired and haven’t checked on since then?” Angel ends the conversation there, and looks pretty bummed about how shitty a person he’s become. I’m guessing.

K: Serves you right, asshat.

Lor: At the Blood Money Shelter, Anne is questioning the Shadow Chased Youths. The boy tells us that they were roughed up pretty good by some cops, even though they weren’t doing anything besides standing and living. Anne calls this a big problem, but says she knows someone who can help. I am shocked for a second that she’d consider CrAngel, and the payoff is that she doesn’t. (S: 1430 to the writers for this fake out moment.) She finds Gunn at the Fangless HQ. Seems they know each other, since the Blood Money Shelter is in his old neighborhood. Anne fills him in on the cop problem, and though this isn’t his kind of case as of late, Gunn offers to walk her back to the shelter and check it out.

Cordy and Wesley say they’ll keep researching the Backwards Cyclops case, because the creep factor is high at Angel Investigations. Anne is all, “SKKRRRRT. ANGEL?” because she’s so traumatized “angel” couldn’t possibly mean like halo and wings angel, but must mean guy in a billowy coat Angel. She tells them that this Angel tried to help her a few weeks ago. Cordelia and Wesley stand excitedly, but Anne clarifies that it was all a scam to get back at some lawyers. She fails to mention the beaucoup bucks. Cordelia says Angel hasn’t changed a bit then, and heads back to her seat. As Gunn is leaving with Anne, we see that Angel is watching them from a roof top nearby because “checking up on them” has clearly translated to “shadow lurking.”

Sweeney: I guess Merl hasn’t learned how to speak Angel yet, because that was kind of inevitable, what with being a creepy shadow lurking being a beloved Angel pastime. And the opportunity to brood while shadow lurking? It’s like Christmas!

K: Surely lurking is the next step on from brooding in the Angel Stages of Acceptance? I mean, he keeps doing one while doing the other, but it still seems like progress!

Lor: At the Blood Money Shelter, a group of kids are filling Gunn in on the overzealous cops. Really, a group of kids stand around while one or two kids with speaking parts fill Gunn in. He asks Anne to speak to them alone, and she heads off. He then makes sure they aren’t trying to bamboozle Anne, and they assure him that all they’ve said is 100% true.

K: Also, one of them says the cops were “trying to put a cap in my ass.” Do people actually say that, or is it just a Hollywood thing? Because “trying to shoot me” seems less confusing, as well as more succinct.

Lor: I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that expression in real life.

Outside, Angel turns away from the window where he’s been watching and listening. As he starts to walk away, a cop tells him to turn around, because he’s under arrest. The cop hits Angel across the face with his nightstick, and starts to apprehend him, but Angel pushes back. The cop barely flinches as he keeps Mirandizing Angel, absorbing the hits like it’s nothing. Angel eventually knocks him out, but one second later, the cop is up and walking. Angel then spin kicks the cop’s head right off. It goes all green and zombie-fied, because you know, zombies.

At the shelter, two of Gunn’s friends show up with a camcorder to help him catch the zombie cops in the act. One of the friends is a totally, “HEY! IT’S THAT GUY!” and I almost gave up on his scarce IMDB until the very end– he played Ray on The Secret World of Alex Mac.

Sweeney: BEST “HEY! IT’S THAT GUY!” STORY YET.

K: Much better than when it turns out to be “Ohhh, he was in an episode of EVERY SHOW EVER,” which happens more than I’d like. Incidentally, I was watching Veronica Mars last night, and Parker Abrams turned up. *shudder*

Lor: Anyhow, Gunn’s two bros give him a hard time for being scarce around the old ‘hood. They agree to help, though, and apparently the plan is to be black while walking, and wait for the cops to beat them, and get it on camera. Bad plans abound in the Buffyverse today.

Angel goes to see Kate and I groan. They say how they’ve both been busy, and Kate takes this time to mention the two open cases she’s working on: two girls dead at a clothing store and slaughtered Wolfram & Hart lawyers. Angel deadpans about what a tragedy that is. When Kate brings up Darla and Dru, Angel says he wasn’t able to stop them, but he did light them on fire. Kate thinks it sounds just like a thing CrAngel would enjoy, which transitions nicely into Angel’s, “and I killed a cop!” But this cop was dead already, see, and we get confirmation of that when Kate pulls up its badge number; it belongs to a cop buried six months ago.

At Fangless HQ, Cordy is talking to Gunn on the phone about what a terrible plan he’s concocted. After they hang up, she tells Wesley about it: “Hey, Gunn graduated with a major in Dumb Planning from Angel University. He sat at the feet of the master and learned well how to plan dumbly.“ So true, I almost forgive her hair for constantly trying to confuse me. Anyways, they choose to keep researching the third eye for like one second before they both decide that, no, Gunn definitely needs their back-up and a third eye can wait.

K: Sucks to be you, kid with an eye in the back of her head.

Lor: Kate and Angel are at a cemetery, and she’s showing him where the cop Angel re-killed was buried. Angel can tell the ground was disturbed recently, and when Kate asks how he can tell, he just stares at her. I wanted to call it a DOM STARE! but I feel like that would be too much of an insult to Angel, but it’s super close to that. Mostly, I’m annoyed, because I want to know how he can tell. I’m guessing he’s… smelling the disturbed earth? IDK.

Sweeney: At first I also wanted to know how he could tell. Then you brought up the super smell theory, which is almost always a guaranteed way to make me go, “Nope! No longer interested in the knowing of things.”

K: Magic x-ray vision that lets him see into the coffin, maybe? Also, this entire episode is like a giant PSA for cremation.

Lor: A+.

After they see another recently disturbed grave, Angel pieces together that someone is digging up and reanimating dead cops. Kate freaks out and runs to her father’s grave, but Angel takes a whiff (?) and assures her that his grave remains undisturbed. She breaks down in tears. I try to care.

There is a pounding on the door of the Blood Money Shelter. Anne starts to turn whoever it is away, but finds Wesley and Cordelia. She tells Wesley where Gunn went, and he heads off. Cordelia stays to help Anne, but gets handed laundry folding duty. Being ever the actress, Cordy says she’ll fake it. Cordy turns and see s a girl wearing her shirt. She starts to say it’s hers, but stops herself and just offers that she has one just like it. To Anne, she says that the store told her it was one of a kind. Anne just smiles.

Sweeney: I appreciated this little bit of continuity porn. It made me giggle.

K: I’m also gonna go ahead and consider it continuity porn on account of that one time in an episode of Buffy that I can’t currently identify where  Cordy gets pissed off because some other girl is wearing a dress the same as hers and she runs after her to check the tag because hers was meant to be a one of a kind.

Lor: Anne goes to shut the door, but a man shoves himself in. Anne tells him, Jackson, that there is no room for him but he skeeves that he’ll just share a bed with a pretty girl. Cordy tries to stand up to him, but Anne tells her to let him go, because she doesn’t want any trouble.

Jackson bumps into one of the speaking parts homeless kids and threatens him. In case we didn’t already understand that Jackson is BAD NEWS.

Gunn and his Bros reach 45th street which is known gang territory. Sure enough, they are soon approached by a cop. Gunn does a terrible job of being stealth about the fact that his Alex Max Bro has a camera hanging out in his sweater. Zombie Cop starts to get more aggressive when Wesley comes running up, saying that there’s been a misunderstanding. The Zombie Cop spins around and SHOOTS WESLEY IN THE GUT. SOMEONE KICK THAT ZOMBIE COP’S HEAD OFF.

Sweeney: THIS WAS THE WORST. I was sort of half watching and half doing other stuff. This got an, “Oh shit,” and my full attention.

K: Right there with you, Sweeney. I’ve even seen Angel before and this still got an “OH SHIT” from me.

Lor: Gunn tackles the Zombie Cop, knocking the gun away. Alex Mac Bro [AMB] picks it up and guns the Zombie Cop down. AMB freaks because he just shot a cop, but funny thing about zombies is that they don’t really stay very dead. The boys grab Wesley and take off, as the cop calls in for back-up because there are witnesses. The guys find a place to hide. They send AMB to stand watch, and call for an ambulance.

Kate and Angel investigate the precinct in the Zombie Cop neighborhood and get lots of vague, “things are better now” type of answers to their questions from an unhelpful cop. They also find out that the captain is the one calling the shots.

The ambulance arrives and Gunn helps load Wesley into the back of it. Gunn sends his bros back to the shelter and rides with Wesley. The ambulance driver doesn’t make it very far when his way is blocked by a couple of police cars. The driver gets down to see what the problem is, and the cops shoot him dead. Gunn jumps into the driver’s seat of the ambulance and busts out of there. For some reason, Gunn thinks it’d be best to stop at the Blood Money Shelter and not to go all the way to the hospital? I’m not sure, but that’s what he does. They unload Wesley, still with his stomach wound just being open and deadly and horrible and stuff.

Sweeney: My understanding is that (aside from the essential contrivance which required him to be at Blood Money Shelter) he didn’t think they could make it to the hospital while being stalked by the zombie cops. Still very Powers That Be Contriving.

K: Agreed. Also, if you’re being chased by zombie cops and decide to hide out somewhere, DON’T LEAVE THE FUCKING AMBULANCE PARKED BY THE FRONT DOOR.

Lor: RIGHT. Because the zombies are not just going to follow him here.

Wesley looks terrible. Cordelia comes over to help by putting pressure on the wound. Gunn takes this time to confront Jackson for being the bad kind of person that gives neighborhoods like this a bad name. Jackson don’t care.

Outside, all the Zombie Cop back-up has arrived. They are ordered to move, but with no gunfire, so that it’s kept quiet.

The surviving paramedic states the obvious, that Wesley is bleeding his life away and needs a hospital. Cordelia forcefully agrees, except that when she gets to the door, she realizes it’s too late because the Zombie Cops have descended. We watch as the shelter kids all arm themselves and barricade the doors and windows.

Angel walks into the Captain’s office over at the zombie precinct. Angel asks about the dead cop, and in reply, the Captain shoots Angel. Thing about Angels, though, is that they don’t really stay very dead. Angel vamps out, grabs the Captain by throat, and demands some answers. The Captain says that the Zombie Cops are good cops who got killed on the streets. He somehow suddenly manages to break free from Angel’s grip and runs into a secret door in his office? Because Angel won’t be able to chase him? And thus discover all the secret things he has behind said secret door?

K: I feel like this piece of enormous contrivance is so insane that it needs a trophy. Or at least a choreographed dance routine.

Lor: Despite the best efforts of everyone in the shelter, the Zombie Cops are managing to get through doors and windows at the shelter. Cordelia is awesomely carrying around a hammer. It kind of reminds me of spatula Cordelia.  Just when the Zombie Cops have entered the shelter, and a couple have grabbed Cordelia and Gunn, Angel spots a statue of Granath, the zombie god in the Captain’s not-so-secret lair. Angel smashes the statue across the Captain’s face, and at the shelter all the Zombie Cops collapse and quickly turn into decayed corpses. Imagine the smell.

Sweeney: Thanks for that.

K: Also, poor Anne. Even with all that blood money at her disposal, getting rid of like 20 rotting corpses dressed in police uniforms can’t be easy.

Lor: Gunn and Cordy hurry back to Wesley’s side. He’s sporting some serious Faith Coma Make-up. Gunn asks Jackson to help him lift Wesley, but Jackson says with all those cops dead, he can go crime in peace. Cordelia takes Wesley’s side instead and these fuckers are going to make him walk out to the ambulance with a gun shot wound to the stomach. I might take back worst day ever from Backward Cyclops and award it to Wesley.

At Kate’s police station, Angel comes over to tell her that he took care of the zombie cop problem. Kate points out that the zombie cops were getting the job done, and crime in that area was significantly lower. Angel’s all, “yeeeeah, crime is a small price to pay for not having reanimated rotting flesh on the loose.”

Sweeney: This was another annoying Kate moment, because nope, sorry, not seeing how terrorizing the shit out of the people of this neighborhood constituted safer. More institutionalized, unreported crime doesn’t equal safer and it’s so fucking like her to insinuate that it does. </irrational Kate hate speech>

K: A+ and 1430, Sweeney. Also, this is what happens when you just look at statistics and not the people who have to live with them.

Lor: Kate says the job is making her crazy, and Angel says he knows the feeling. See? CrAngel. Just then, Kate is handed a file, and apparently it’s a report on Wesley’s shooting, because yes.

We cut to Wesley on a hospital bed, still looking Faith-y. Gunn is by his side. Wesley slowly opens his eyes and gets adorably giggly over how lovely morphine is. Gunn smiles at him and grabs his hand for a second before leaning back in his chair.

K: BROTP 5EVA.

Lor: The camera pulls back and we see that Angel is watching all of this from just outside of Wesley’s room. Angel turns to leave and finds Cordelia standing behind him. She asks what he’s doing there, and he simply offers that he heard about Wesley. Cordelia: Well, that’s great. Too bad it takes a gunshot wound to make you give a crap. Wesley doesn’t need you right now. We don’t need you. You walked away. Do us a favor and just stay away.”

Cordelia walks away and we see her walk into Wes’s room, hand Gunn a coffee and lean over Wesley’s bed. Angel just watches broodily and then broodily walks away.

 

This episode was okay, but also one of the weakest of the season so far. There isn’t a ton of development, other than Angel starting to feel the effects of his CrAngel, at least where the Fang Gang is concerned. It’s weird to have zero word from Wolfram & Hart and Darla, considering how real shit got just recently.

I feel like this episode tried its hand at taking on a big subject (and one that could be considered timely) but to me it failed in conveying any sort of message, mostly because the plot felt chopped up and pieced together with contrivance. Jackson, for instance, was supposed to represent the actual baddies on the street, seemed randomly dropped into the story line.

Perhaps this episode is over all best described by comparing it to that little kid’s game, “Mother May I.” It feels like it stepped up to the line and asked, “mother may I take one, itty bitty step towards overall plot development?” Yes you may, episode.

Not one to write home about, is all I’m saying. But of course, it is my turn to recap and I got a good episode in Buffy today which means the Number Gods needed to balance that out quickly. My money is on the next two episodes being fantastic.

K: Oh, please, Lor. The Number Gods hate me with a fiery passion. Don’t bet on it. 

Lor: We shall see.

 

 Next time on Angel: Angel takes a trip to hell to seek out Wolfram & Hart’s senior partners in S02 E15 – Epiphany.