It was really only a matter of time.
—
Pilot
Kirsti: What’s that? You’ve been wanting us to cover Supernatural? You ask, we deliver. This one’s going to be a little different, because Sweeney is firmly on the Nope Train as far as Supernatural is concerned, and Lor’s got enough on her plate. So y’all are stuck with Sara and me instead. SORRY NOT SORRY.
Sara: SO NOT SORRY BECAUSE: CUTE BOYS AND MONSTERS.
K: Truth. I’ve been a salt gunner from day one, although I must admit that I took a little break somewhere around season 6 when things got really shitty. But I marathonned my way through season 6, season 7 and season 8 earlier this year, and was firmly back on board in time for season 9. So I’m pretty excited to be going back to where it all began.
Sara: And I am officially a Snow, for the first time ever! I know literally nothing about this series except that it involves two hot boys and monsters – seriously, that’s all it takes to sell me on a show. Fingers crossed for lots of shirtless scenes!
K: That’s really all you need to know, Sara. Let’s get started, shall we?
We start in Lawrence, Kansas in 1983. A blonde woman carries a toddler into a nursery, and tells him to say goodnight to his baby brother. Mini!Dean kisses Baby!Sam goodnight and OH GOD I’M HAVING ALL THE FEELS ALREADY. Jeffrey Dean Morgan appears in the background, and Mini!Dean runs to his father, who hugs him tight. He wishes Baby!Sam sweet dreams and turns out the light. Above Baby!Sam’s head, a mobile begins to spin on its own. The clock on the wall stops ticking, and the nightlight flickers. In the master bedroom, the baby monitor wakes Mary. She calls out to JDM, but he’s not there. She gets out of bed and heads into the nursery to see a dark figure standing over the crib. She assumes it’s JDM and asks if Baby!Sam is hungry, but he shushes her.
She turns and sees the hall light flickering as the Spooky Piano of Tension starts up. She walks over to it and taps the bulb, then sees a flickering from downstairs. She walks downstairs to see JDM asleep in front of the TV. (S: The background music gets out. of. control.) She runs back upstairs and into the nursery. The camera cuts back downstairs to JDM waking to his wife screaming. He runs upstairs and into the nursery to find…nothing wrong. He walks over to Sam’s crib and tells him everything’s okay just as a drop of blood falls onto the blanket. He reaches out to touch it, and several more drops fall on his hand. He looks up, and sees Mary on the ceiling, her stomach cut open. She’s still alive. He yells her name and she bursts into flames.
Sara: Well, this is quite an introduction. Hello, show! Nice to meet you! You’re kind of crazy and scary and awesome all at the same time!
K: Pretty much.
Sam screams in his crib. JDM grabs him, and hands him off to Mini!Dean, telling him to run outside and not look back. He heads into the fiery nursery, calling out for Mary. But it’s too late. The nursery is consumed by a fireball. Mini!Dean runs down the front steps of the house, and tells Baby!Sam that it’s going to be okay. JDM grabs them and carries them away from the house as the windows explode. The fire brigade pull up and start doing their thing as JDM sits with his boys on the hood of a black 1967 Impala. Oh, look. It’s the last moment of responsible parenting we’ll ever see from John Winchester! WELCOME TO TRAUMALAND, SUPERNATURAL.
Sara: DAMN IT. I always thought Denny would be such a good dad.
K: Denny would. John Winchester? NOPE.
Cut to the present (aka 2005) at Stanford. A blonde girl dressed as a skanky nurse (Jess) yells out to Sam that they were meant to be somewhere 15 minutes ago. Jared Padalecki (S: Dean! Gilmore Girls!) appears wearing a denim jacket, and I laugh hysterically because he’s such a baby face. Sam, it appears, has issues with Halloween. At a bar, Jess and a dude dressed as a zombie congratulate Sam on his awesome LSATs with shots. He scored a 174, apparently, which just makes me laugh because Elle Woods got a 179. Suck it, Sam.
Anyway, Sam tells them that he has an interview with Stanford Law on Monday and a chance at a full ride. Zombie Guy asks what it’s like to be the family golden boy, and Sam inner pains that they don’t know. Jess says she’s proud of him and that he’ll do great. And that he’d crash and burn without her. Oh, sweetie. You’re not wrong.
Sam and Jess’s apartment later that night. There’s a crash in the living room, and Sam wakes. He creeps out to see a window open and a shadowy figure moving around. The shadowy figure comes into the room Sam’s hiding in, and he attacks with punches and kicks. The shadowy figure knocks him to the ground, and it’s Dean. Sam’s all “Dude, WTF?” and Dean says he’s out of practice. Sam knocks him over and pins him, then helps him up and asks why he’s there. The light snaps on, and Jess is all “What the hell?” Sam introduces Dean, who promptly flirts with her. He then says that he needs to talk to Sam about private family business, but Sam says whatever he has to say can be said in front of Jess. Dean says that JDM hasn’t been home in a few days. Sam implies that he’s off in a drunken stupour somewhere. Dean rewords his earlier statement:
K: CORRECT!
The zoomy cameraman gets straight to work, zooming in on Sam. He tells Jess that they need a minute and drags Dean outside. Sam’s not worried because apparently JDM pulls this shit all the time (usually with booze), but Dean says it’s never been this long before. Sam says he’s done hunting and won’t be going with Dean. Dean says hunting isn’t that bad, but Sam childhood traumas that when he was nine, he told JDM he was scared of the thing in his closet and JDM handed him a .45.
Sara: Traumaland never fails us!
K: Perfection.
Sam info dumps at us – JDM took up hunting after their mother died in the hopes of finding the thing that killed her. They’ve never found it, but they kill everything they find. He asks Dean if their mother would have wanted this life for them. Dean wants to know why Sam ran away, and he replies that he was just going to college and that it was JDM who said he should stay gone. Less than 10 minutes in, and he’s already challenging Hank Summers for the worst parent ever award! Dean says that he can’t do it alone, then corrects it to he doesn’t WANT to do it alone. Sam sighs and asks what JDM was hunting.
Cut to Dean opening the secret compartment in the boot of the Impala. Sam wants to know why Dean didn’t go with JDM, and Dean says he was on his own hunting trip. Sam’s surprised that JDM let Dean go alone, and Dean replies “I’m 26, dude…” I mention this only because I used that phrase as many times as possible during the year that I was 26.
Anyway, Dean pulls out some newspaper articles about a string of guys disappearing on a highway outside Jericho, California. JDM went to investigate three weeks ago, and Dean didn’t hear from him until a static filled voicemail the previous day. He plays it for Sam, who says that it’s full of EVP. Dean slows the tape down, and a creepy voice whispers “I can never go home.” Sam agrees to go, but says he needs to be back in time for his interview.
Sara: Yeah, I’m pretty sure if I heard a creepy ghosty voice saying, “I can never go home,” agreeing to go with Dean would NOT be on my to-do list. (Unless he promised me make out sessions along the way, obvi.)
K: Upstairs, Sam packs a curved knife into a bag. Jess is surprised to hear that he’s going, because Sam never talks about his family. He tells her everything will be fine, kisses her on the cheek and leaves.
Cut to Jericho, California where a guy in a shitbox of a car is driving down the road and talking to a girl named Amy on the phone. He tells her that he can’t come over, then staticky feedback starts up on the radio. He spots a girl in a white dress on the side of the road – who flickers – and tells Amy he’ll call her back. Doomed Guy pulls up next to the girl, and she asks him to take her home. He opens the car door, and she climbs in. Except a shot from the back of the car shows us that she isn’t really there. He asks where she lives, and she tells him “At the end of Breckenridge Road.” He stares at her boobs, and tells her she shouldn’t be alone out there. She pulls her dress up over her thighs, then asks if he’ll come home with her. He speeds off in response.
He pulls up to the house, which is all boarded up. She looks at it sadly, and says that she can never go home. Doomed Guy turns to ask where she really lives, but she’s vanished. He steps out of the car (S: DUMB), and we see a ghostly handprint press against the windscreen. He walks towards the house and calls out, but no one’s there except a bird which flies into his face. He screams and runs for the car. He speeds away only to come to a screaming halt when he sees the girl glaring at him from the backseat. He crashes onto a closed bridge. Screams come from the car, followed by blood splattering onto the windows. Fade to black.
Sara: NOBODY WARNED ME THAT THIS WOULD BE LEGIT TRAUMATIZING. I’ll go ahead and admit during episode 1 that I am a huge chicken, and if the rest of the series is this creepy, I’ll be watching from between my fingers.
K: Dude, I watch from between my fingers on the regular. There’s no shame.
After the Not Commercial Break, Dean’s picking up breakfast from a petrol station. Sam wants to know if he and JDM are still paying for everything by committing credit card fraud. Dean says it’s not his fault that companies keep sending them cards in all the fake names they apply under. Sam changes the topic, bitching about Dean’s taste in music:
Sara: My vote goes to Dean, because driver always picks the music, fool, and I’m not just saying that because I really, really want to make out with his face.
K: Outside Jericho, Sam confirms that no one matching JDM’s description is at the hospital or morgue just as they pull up to the Murder Bridge, which is crawling with cops. Dean grabs a box of fake credentials from the glove box and grins as Sam looks horrified. They stroll up to the car as a couple of deputies discuss the lack of footprints or fingerprints. One of the deputies is Amy’s father, and says she’s putting up posters in town. Dean introduces himself as a federal marshal, and asks one of the deputies about the previous cases. He tells them that there are no connections between the victims and that they have precisely zero theories.
Sara: I love how the deputy is all, “You guys look suspiciously young to be marsh…. Ah, whatever, here’s all the details to everything confidential you could ever want to know! Do you want these copies laminated?” Being beautiful and charming can get you far!
K: YES. It’s so much more believable for them to be agents/marshals/whatever in season 9 than in season 1. Although Sam’s hair is pretty much never regulation. OH WELL.
Dean snarks, Sam steps on his foot to shut him up, the deputy gets suspicious, and they scurry away only to bump into the sheriff and two FBI agents. The sheriff narrow-eyes them as they head to the car.
In town, they locate Amy and claim to be Doomed Guy’s uncles. LOL, SURE. She agrees to answer a few questions, along with a friend of hers. In a coffee shop, the friend spills the beans about a local legend in which a girl was murdered on the highway and now her ghost hitchhikes. Anyone who picks her up disappears forever.
Sam and Dean head to the library and employ some really awful search strategies. Boolean logic would really help them out here. #librarianproblems
Anyway, they discover a total lack of murders on the highway, but Sam suggests that maybe it was suicide. That brings up the goods – in 1981, a 24 year old jumped off the Murder Bridge after her two kids drowned in the bath.
Cut to the Murder Bridge that night. Sam wonders if JDM has been there, and Dean says they just need to keep looking until they find him. Sam reminds him that they’ve only got until Monday, and they argue about whether Sam can have a normal life and what it means if Jess doesn’t know the truth about him. It quickly turns back to a conversation about hunting and what will happen if/when they find what killed their mum. Sam points out that it won’t bring her back, and Dean slams him into the side of the bridge. “Don’t talk about her like that,” he says quietly.
He turns away, and sees Ghost Girl standing on the edge of the bridge. He points her out to Sam just as she jumps. They run over and stare into the water, but she’s gone. Just then, the Impala starts up and the headlights come on. Except the keys are in Dean’s pocket. The car accelerates towards them and they run, jumping over the side of the bridge just before the car hits them. It screams to a halt as we fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Sam pulls himself back onto the bridge and calls out to his brother. Dean drags himself out of the river and lies on the bank, covered in mud. Back on the bridge, Dean examines the car and determines it’s fine. They debate where to go next, then Sam turns to Dean and says this:
Sara: And Dean does not miss the opportunity to call Ghosty Girl a bitch. She did steal your car and almost hit you with it, so I’d say that’s fair.
K: In town, they go to check into a motel. The guy behind the desk recognises the weird name on Dean’s credit card, and reveals that a guy with the same surname reserved a room for the whole month. They head over there and pick the lock. The walls are covered in pictures and clues, and there’s a salt line protecting the door. JDM was worried and trying to stop something from getting in. Dean looks at the display of the victims while Sam looks at JDM’s wall of ideas before realising that Ghost Girl is a Woman in White.
Dean says they should destroy her corpse, and that Sam should track down Ghost Girl’s husband while he gets de-toileted. Sam stops him, and starts to apologise for what he said about their parents, but Dean holds up a hand to stop him, and says “No chick flick moments.” Later, Sam checks his voicemail to find a message from Jess while Dean heads out in search of food. He heads out to find a cop car in the car park and the manager points him out to the deputies. Dean grabs his phone and warns Sam to take off, saying that it’s too late for him. Then comes the moment in which Dean Winchester stole my heart forever:
Elsewhere in town, Sam’s tracked down Ghost Girl’s Husband. He confirms that JDM came round a few days ago, claiming to be a reporter. Sam says that he’s fact checking the story, and could he please go through the details again. GGH says that Ghost Girl is buried in a plot at the old house, and that she was the love of his life. Sam asks if he’s ever heard of a Woman in White, and then tells him that when these women were alive, their husbands were unfaithful. In a fit of insanity, they murder their children and then commit suicide. And their spirits wander the world, punishing unfaithful men. GGH tells him to GTFO.
Back at the station, Dean claims the number is his locker combination from high school. A deputy comes in with a report of shots fired, and the sheriff cuffs Dean to the table and leaves. Dean grabs a paperclip from the Filofax of Shadows, picks the handcuffs, and leaves the police station via the fire escape, Filofax in tow.
Sara: Man, it is really easy to escape the police. Jotting that little paperclip/Ted Nugent plan down.
K: The ineptitude of the Traumaland police should always be taken into account though.
Dean stops by a payphone and calls Sam, thanking him for the fake 911 call. Sam informs him that it IS a Woman in White, but that he’s not sure why JDM hasn’t dealt with the corpse yet. Dean interrupts, saying that JDM has left town. He knows, because the 35 -111 thing is his ex-marine way of telling them where he’s going – co-ordinates. Sam wants to know why he’d leave town without finishing a job. Suddenly, Sam gasps because Ghost Girl is in the middle of the road in front of him. The car ploughs through her as he slams on the brakes. He clasps the steering wheel in shock, which turns to fear when Ghost Girl says, “take me home” from the back seat. Fade to black.
After the Not Commercial Break, Ghost Girl repeats herself. Sam tells her no, but the doors lock and the car starts driving itself. Ghost Girl flickers in the back seat as they pull up to the house, then reappears in the front seat. She climbs on top of Sam, who realises that she’s afraid of going into the house. He says that he hasn’t been unfaithful. “You will be,” she says. Um, cheating?
Sara: RIGHT? That is not even fair. I object!
K: He tries to reach the car keys in the ignition without success. She disappears, then Sam screams and there’s a sizzling noise. He pulls open his hoodie to reveal finger marks burnt into his t-shirt. Ghost Girl flickers in and out, with a gross rotting corpse face and her hand lodged in Sam’s chest. He screams again, then the window of the car shatters as Dean shoots at Ghost Girl. She vanishes. Sam starts the car and drives right into the house, smashing through the front wall. Dean runs after him.
Sara: Is shooting a gun at a ghost really productive at all?
K: Nope. But it worked, so…win?
Dean helps Sam out of the car as Ghost Girl stares at a photo of herself and her two kids, which is lying on the floor. She looks up at Sam and Dean, then hurls a dresser across the room, pinning them against the Impala. She steps towards them, then the lights in the house flicker. Water starts pouring down the stairs, and Ghost Girl flickers over to the bottom of the stairs. Two creepy backlit children are standing at the top. She stares up at them sadly, then looks terrified as their hands clasp. “You’ve come home to us, Mommy,” they say in unison, and OH MY GOD, CREEPY CHILDREN ARE THE ACTUAL FUCKING WORST. They flicker their way to the bottom of the stairs, then hug Ghost Girl. She screams and turns into a puddle of black goop, which sinks through the floor.
Sara: YEP, I AGREE THAT KIDS ARE THE CREEPIEST.
K: This show does creepy kids a little too well.
Sam and Dean share “OH SHIT, WE NEARLY DIED” expressions, then push the dresser away. For those who were slow on the uptake, they wander over to the puddle on the floor, and say that this must be where she drowned her kids and she couldn’t go home because she was afraid to face them. They do some sibling bonding, then Dean says that if Sam screwed up his car, he’s dead meat.
They drive back away to the strains of Highway to Hell. In the car, Sam looks up the coordinates from the Filofax of Shadows, and says that it’s a place called Blackwater Ridge in Colorado, which is about 600 miles away. Dean says “if we shag ass, we can make it by morning.” I cackle hysterically, because SERIOUSLY?? SHAG ASS????? Please tell me no one in America actually says that or I will literally die.
Sara: I don’t say that, but it is now on my list of things to insert in everyday conversation! “Let me just shag ass over to the grocery store and get us some dinner.” “You better shag ass and make it home by curfew!”
K: Yeah, don’t say that anywhere outside the US because people will be all “…ew. Keep your sex life to yourself, yo.”
Anyway, Sam says that he has to be at his interview, and Dean reluctantly agrees to take him home. Outside Sam’s apartment, he makes Dean promise to call if he finds JDM. Dean says that they made a hell of a team before pulling away. Sam lets himself into the apartment and calls out to Jess. There’s no answer, but there’s a plate of homemade cookies waiting for him on the table. He heads into the bedroom and we hear the shower running in the background. Sam flops back on the bed with his eyes closed. A drop of blood falls on his forehead, then another. He opens his eyes to see Jess on the ceiling, her stomach cut open. “No!!” he yells, and she bursts into flames. Dean kicks the front door down and drags Sam out as the apartment turns into an inferno.
You know, for a pilot this does a pretty great job of setting the tone for the rest of the series without feeling overly info-dumpy. There were still a few moments of UGH GET ON WITH IT, but I pretty much love this episode, even if I do have to spent portions of it hiding behind a pillow. Because I’m an epic wuss.
Sara: HOLY SHIT, THEY KILLED JESS. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. Maybe I should have seen that coming, because how else would they get Sam to go on a wild monster hunting spree with Dean, but still! There was some clunky delivery of information here, but it is only the first episode, and I loved it and cannot wait to see more. I honestly didn’t expect the show to be so creepy, and since this is only the pilot, I have a feeling it’s only going to get crazier from here!
Kirsti: You have no idea.
[Editor’s Note: I am absolutely against calling their car the Impala. I humbly suggest the AutomoBro or the Brovertible (I know. It isn’t a convertible. I’m also open to suggestions.) Additionally, it was deliciously pilot-y, with just the right amount of, “let us talk about our lives like we aren’t brothers!” Finally, if you pick up a girl wearing a toilet paper dress, I’m not going to be overly sad/surprised if you are ghost mauled. That is all. -Lorraine]
Next time: The boys follow the coordinates to Colorado and find a little more than they bargained for. Find out all the details in Supernatural S01 E02 – Wendigo.
I'm a 30-something librarian and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. Leader of Team Heartless Cow. I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and read more than is good for me.
I'm a 30-something with three kids who spends an embarrassing amount of time watching teen television dramas. There's a whole lot of Internet out there, and I plan on reading all of it before I die.
